Sigh. What can I say? Night of Champions was actually really good. Nobody had a near-death experience on RAW, you would think all is right in the world. But sadly no, see the NHL is locked out. Yes, this is a wrestling site, true. But, man I share the sentiments of many fans who have disdain for both the owners and the players stealing the NHL from us over greed. Terrible. Perhaps Smackdown will lift my spirits? Perhaps some one might show up on the program we haven’t seen in a while? Let’s hop to it, shall we? (more…)
Clearly, with the Jerry Lawler incident on RAW, this will be a somber episode. The WWE still has a PPV this Sunday to promote as well. I guess we should just hop to it, shall we? (more…)
RANDY ORTON/JERRY LAWLER DEF C.M. PUNK (WWE CHAMPION)/DOLPH ZIGGLER
RYBACK DEF HEATH SLATER
KANE/DANIEL BRYAN DEF PRIME TIME PLAYERS – KANE/BRYAN NEW #1 CONTENDERS TO THE TAG TEAM TITLE
ALBERTO DEL RIO DEF TYSON KIDD BY SUBMISSION
SHEAMUS DEF DAVID OTUNGA
CODY RHODES DEF REY MYSTERIO
In the ring promo – John Cena cuts his best promo ever on C.M. Punk.
RAW ends with Michael Cole cheering on Jerry Lawler to recover
Here’s the big issue tonight, Jerry Lawler collapses at ringside during the Kane/Bryan-PTP match. At the time of this writing, according to PWInsider/World Wrestling Insanity.com, Lawler is supposedly in stable condition, breathing on his own, and awaiting a cat-scan. No one knows anything else at this time.
This is taking on scary connotations for fans as this happened in Montreal, during a guest appearance by Brett Hart, drawing comparisons to the Owen Hart tragedy of 1997(?)
We briefly see ADR and David Otunga (AAL) helping a neck-brace wearing Ricardo out of GM Booker T’s office. That’s right folks another law suit angle in professional Matlock… err…. L.A. Law… no that’s not it…. hmm…. Law and Order? Nah…. how about Kojak? Yeah, that’s the one. Savalas and shit.
What’s up mother fucker? I’m bald. And dead. How do you like them apples……bitches?
DOLPH ZIGGLER DEF. RANDY ORTON – Match ends with Ziggler charging Orton in the corner, Orton swings up, Ziggler hits the post, Orton tries a school-boy roll-up, Ziggler reverses it for a three-count, holding the trunks. SIN CARA/MYSTERIO DEF. TENSAI/CODY RHODES – Rey h0its the 619 on Cody but is outside the ring when he tags Sin Cara. Ref makes them re-tag and Cara hits a Swanton for three. C.M. PUNK (WWE CHAMPION) VS SHEAMUS (WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION) – Doesn’t happen; Punk in street clothes decides to take a personal day and leaves. SHEAMUS DEF. JACK SWAGGER – Sheamus wins with the Texas Clover leaf leg-lock. After the match, Alberto Del Rio and Ricardo Rodriguez attack Sheamus. Ricardo winds up taking a brogue-kick meant for Del Rio. He sells it so long I start to think he’s legit hurt. EVE DEF. KAITLYN – Eve wins with a neck-breaker. Match is booked to make Eve look like she’s playing nice until she gets an opening for a cheap shot. RYBACK DEF. JINDER MAHAL – Ryback scores the pin with the meat-hook. KANE & DANIEL BRYAN “HUG OUT” – So, after a series of “anger management” sketches, Bryan and Kane agree to meet in the ring. General Manager AJ lets us decide their fate via “Twitter poll.” The WWE universe votes for them to “hug it out.” Meaning they have to hug each other.
They have to hug each other.
Yeah
After stalling a good few minutes, Bryan eventually hugs Kane. Kane eventually hugs Bryan. They eventually hug each other. Then they start shoving each other. Then they start fighting. It ends with Bryan knocking Kane off the top rope with a chair. U.S. CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH: ANTONIO CESARO (U.S. CHAMPION) DEF. SANTINO MORELLA – Santino spends the entire match trying to make up his mind about using the cobra. Cesaro finishes this farce with his pile-driver variation. ZACK RYDER DEF. HEATH SLATER – Ryder wins with the rough-rider. ALBERTO DEL RIO DEF. JOHN CENA: FALLS COUNT ANYWHERE – A scary brawl that actually spilled out all the way to backstage. Cena throws Del Rio through the interview area and gives him the AA. Alberto lands on a luggage container and C.M. PUNK hits Cena with a kick to the head out of nowhere. Punk pulls Del Rio on Cena for a three-count, and then Cena takes a GTS face first onto Punk’s car. As the car drives off, PAUL HEYMAN looks out the window and winces. THE GOOD • THE FINISH – The main event was actually exciting. Nice to see people who understand what “falls count anywhere” means. Punk getting Del Rio a win over Cena was the right way to get people hyped for the PPV. Paul Heymans cameo as Punks driver got me excited. I am marking out big-time for the possibility of him teaming up with Punk. • ANGER MANAGEMENT – As stupid as these bits are, at least Kane and Bryan have made them watchable. Funny moment was when they both bailed on “Harold;” during a trust fall exercise, and the “doctor” losing his patients with his patients. THE BAD
Oh God, where to begin? • COMMENTARY – Intercontinental champion The Miz joined the commentary team tonight. It was weird. Miz and Michael Cole seemed to be taking turns playing face. Oddly enough, Cole seemed to be working as the face announcer most of the night. It was kind of confusing. When Divas Champ Layla came out to join them for the Kaitlin/Eve match, Miz jumped all over her. They got into a Jerry Springer like shouting match with Cole desperately playing ref, with NO-ONE playing attention to the match. • EVE VS KAITLIN – Actually decent; but BURIED by Miz and Layla bitching each other out. Also, Eve gets the win and makes a big show of offering Layla a handshake. You can see their feud coming a mile away, so what’s the point of making Kaitlin #1 contender if you want to do an Eve/Layla program? Why didn’t they just make Eve #1 contender? • THE HUG – Screw you WWE universe. You’re buying into the WWE BS and voting for what they want you to vote for. You are getting the show you deserve. THE UGLY • AJ – Sweet mother, can we pull the plug on this experiment already? This whole night seemed to be more about AJ losing control than anything else. From people walking out on her to the breakdown in the ring, it’s like WWE wanted to make some point about any woman NOT named McMahon being in charge. Unless they’re setting up a Zach Ryder sized de-push, they need to have AJ quit this job and reactivate her as an active roster member so she can kill Vicki. • VICKI AND “INVISIBLE” AJ – Just stop. Please just stop. Wrestling doesn’t do topical humor. Wrestling doesn’t need to do topical humor. For those playing along at home, Clint Eastwood was a guest speaker at the Republican National Convention last week, and did a “bit” with an empty chair representing Barack Obama. Vicki decided to pick up on this and do the same thing with AJ. It wasn’t funny. It wasn’t even relevant to the show, because AJ showed up. • SANTINO’S “COBRA” – George Steel Is face palming this crap.
RYTMANS RANT
WHY ARE WE BOOKING THIS GODDMN SHOW?!?
Seriously, what is the deal with the twitter polls? Why not just let us book the whole damn show via twitter? AND WHY WOULD WE VOTE FOR A HUG!? AND WHY DID WE!?!?!?
I just…..
Ugh.
So, apparently I’m supposed to write some kind of intro paragraph for these things. A paragraph usually is constituted with a few sentences that correlate to an idea and supports the content within. Furthermore, including this sentence, I count three strings of words. Done. Let’s hop to it, shall we? (more…)
MPX’s Back to School is in the books. (See what I did there?) Thanks to the characteristic awful traffic, epically torrential weather and WTF side-road configuration, I ended up getting there late and halfway into the dark match. So sorry to Tad Wylde & Kros/City for missing it.
It took me a while to sit down and get my bearings. I sat down just in time to see the intros. Kate looked gorgeous and leggy as usual. We were treated to the title match being first.
First match: Frankie Fisher (c) vs. Matt Palmer
The match started, Matt did his finisher on Frankie and pinned him in Sheamus/Daniel Bryan time.
Winner, and new champion: Matt Palmer
Then Frankie started complaining and they restarted the match. I yelled out, “Dusty Finish” (and I usually try not to get involved). However, they did the exact same thing and Palmer walked out as champion. If you read my writing, you know I’m a huge Matt Palmer fan. Having him as champ adds a certain credibility outside the company. If you do not know the name Matt Palmer, please learn it.
I’m a little mixed on the next segment. There was a trivia contest between the two members of Tad Wylde and the Asian Nation. The build-up was a little different than Guy A beats up Guy B. So it was refreshing that the creative team is trying out new things. However, as I go into cranky old white man mode, I do not go to pro wrestling to watch trivia contests. But they had a little girl come in and clinch the trivia contest. It was about the kids and that’s what mattered.
Second match: James Hawke vs. BC
Hawke is beginning to get a bigger crowd reaction. And BC is great. He understands the crowd and has so much charisma. He has no character; he is just himself. I liked the decision of putting BC here in this match, because as a heel, all you have to be is contrary to him. The work looked a little clunky in places. But BC’s role was to make Hawke look good, and that went well.
Winner: Hawke
They showed a video of Haiden attacking Barrett Brown. Best I can figure out, somebody needs to call the police.
Third match: Kanoa vs. Steven Kirby in a Lumberjill Match
This match was joined by special guests: The North Texas Derby Revolution, whom can be found here. Between the Europa Expo and MPX, they are on an all-out publicity blitz. The match was Kanoa fighting Kirby with the ladies of the derby skating around the ring. Steven Kirby, formerly known as WASP, is going through a transition to being himself. His “self” is apparently very Irish-American. Kanoa showed a little bit of his comedic range. My only thing is was this out of character for him? But the match was pretty decent. When Kanoa got knocked out of the ring, the derby girls would make sure to hit him as they skated by. My major complaint was that this match did not fit the intensity their current feud. It was a showcase for the girls and might have better fit Tad Wylde facing a tag team. I’m not sure who else I would have put in the match with the roller girls. It’s like watching an episode of Mad Men and then one episode of Mad Men is the Harlem Globetrotters playing the Washington Generals. There were some stiff chops and some good work. Mike Foxx interfered followed by Scott Murdoch to force it into a “No contest.”
Winner: No Contest
Everybody wanted it to be a tag team match. I’m glad that it didn’t. They are willing to wait and let the story play out naturally.
Fourth match: $Payday$ (c) vs. Kenny Steele for the Prospects Championship in a Last Man Standing Match
This was a big blow-off to their feud. The guys really brought it in their intensity. They beat the living s*** out of each other. $Payday$ got his first ever “That was awesome” chant with his moonsault off the ring apron onto Kenny. They brawled and ended up at the tires for the crossfit training. Kenny put $Payday$ in the tire and rolled him back to the ring. One thing I liked is that $Payday$ was able to have a different type of match, yet he still found a way to include his athleticism in it. There was a sunset flip onto the ladder that drew $Payday$’s 2nd “That was awesome” chant of the night. At another point there was a spinebuster onto a ladder. For the finish, Kenny did a powerbomb onto the crossfit tire. That drew a first for me: a heel getting a “That was awesome” chant.
Winner, and new Prospects champion: Kenny Steele
For both guys fighting their first Last Man Standing Match, it was a pretty good brawl. I would have liked to seen more drama and focus on winning the match. But end to a very nice feud.
Fifth match: Scott Murdoch vs. Mike Foxx
I love that Mike Foxx is being used as a gatekeeper to build the next generation. I loved Murdoch’s intensity and focus. It was almost Lesnar-like. Foxx had his patented scowl. The first time these two met together, it somewhat lacked in the intangibles. This match did not. Both were firing on all cylinders. There were some chops where I was pretty sure somebody was going to get decapitated. It ended when Kanoa came back in followed by Kirby.
Winner: No contest
Really loving the feud going on with these four. As part of the main event, Zero the Antihero came out and asked to be on the main event team. Now if Mike Dolenz did not have a team ready, should have really been deserving of staying GM? Haiden walked out and beat up Zero, incapacitating him. Since Headbanger and Saint came out to Zero’s rescue, they were asked to be part of his team.
Main event: Gregory James, Danny Saint, Claudia & Frankie Fisher vs. Kristopher Haiden, Matt “The Choice” Andrews, Regrub & Carrion Arcane in an elimination match for control of the company for 90 days:
I was surprised by the choice of Claudia, but it made sense. Frankie didn’t. He had just lost the title. Why was he out there seemed to be a little off to me. This was perhaps one of the top matches of the night for me. There were lots of complex stories going on here. Claudia held her own and even pinned Choice. She also did a moonsault on Regrub earning a “That was awesome” chant. Frankie looked good in the match and even got some chants. I liked how even though he was on the face team, he still wrestled like a heel. It ended up with the last two being Greg & Arcane. Haiden, who had just been eliminated, attacked Mike Dolenz with a chair. It distracted Greg enough to where Arcane was able to get the pin.
Winner: Arcane
Being that he won control of the company, Kyle Valo took the mic and announced the changes that would be happening.
All in all… I’m liking Valo taking over as lead of the company. He’s better on the mic and entertains the heck out of me. I liked the $Payday$-Steele match. I loved the crossover of the derby girls (my kind of eye candy), even if it didn’t make sense in the bigger picture. And of course Matt Palmer being champion means nothing but good things. Not everything clicked, but they are focused and concentrating on letting the stories play out naturally rather than giving us too much too early. I am very intrigued to see where they go from here.
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It’s Summerslam weekend (well, close enough). We’ll be running down the Summerslam card on BWF Radio this Sunday with some special guests. I’m announcing no one yet, because it’s going to be huge… and awesome. Tune in to “www.boredwrestlingfan.com or www.wonderpodonline.com on Sunday to check it out with plenty of time before the PPV.
Pretty much the whole card has been announced. There’s even some last minute matches likely to be teased tonight and then cut for time on Sunday. I expect a holding pattern, and a whole bunch of clip packages. Maybe I’ll get through this in record time? Only one way to find out, let’s hop to it, shall we?
• CM PUNK VS BIG SHOW – NO CONTEST: It’s basically Big Show dominating, with Punk fighting back from behind until Daniel Bryan comes out in a full mad-on. Bryan slaps the “no” lock on Punk and Show joins in for a “little rough up the champ” action until Cena makes the save. AJ comes out and pulls a “Teddy,” making a tag match for later in the night.
• RYBACK DEFEATS JTG – This was in response to JTG griping backstage about not getting TV time. It’s the same match we’ve seen for about… ever.
• R-TRUTH DEFEATS HEATH SLATER – After the match, the PTP (minus AW) run in for a beat down on R-Truth. Kofi supposedly is out of the country, leaving Truth outnumbered.
• SIN CARA DEF TENSAI – Tensai spends most of the match overpowering Sin Cara, until the Lucha legend side-steps him into Sakamoto and hits a DDT from the top rope. Tensai beats down Sakamoto after the match.
• DOLPH ZIGGLER DEF JERICHO/THE MIZ (3-WAY) – Jericho won a twitter poll to be the guest on Piper’s Pit. After a few minutes, Ziggler and Vicki come out to run Jericho down. Miz joins in and tries to kick Piper and Jericho out. After Jericho cleans house, we get a commercial break. When we come back, we’re told AJ made this match via twitter. Dolph gets the pin on the Miz.
• LAYLA & KAITLYN DEF EVE & BETH PHOENIX – Pretty standard tag, with Layla actually trying to show some personality. (Nice spot with Layla butt-bumping Eve in the face.) Ends with Kait rolling Beth up for a three count.
• JOHN CENA & CM PUNK DEF BIG SHOW & DANIEL BRYAN – Interesting theme here. NO ONE wants to tag out on either side. Bryan tags in whenever Show gets close. Show gets more and more bothered. Cena tags in whenever Punk gets close. Punk returns in kind. Punk and Cena do the “stealing each other’s moves,” routine, and eventually both Show AND Punk wash their hands of the whole thing. It ends with an AA on Bryan for the pin, and Punk rescuing (?) Cena from an attack from behind by Big Show.
• DAMIEN SANDOW DEF CHRISTIAN – I have NEVER seen Christian jobbed out like this. Christian gets in an elbow shot from the top rope, but when he follows Sandow outside to the floor, and gets sent into the steps, Sandow bounces his head against the steel steps. Brodus Clay hobbles out on his bum leg to distract Sandow, but all Christian gets is a roll-up for two. Sandow ends this with his neck-breaker variation.
Okay so, why the new approach? Well one, I’m sick of being up till three in the morning trying to recap EVERY segment in detail, and two, I wanted to get that stuff out of the way for my 1st official…
RYTMAN RANT!
Re: This show’s pacing, W.T.F?
Here’s the deal, we have Shawn Michaels guest starring tonight. Apparently, Triple H’s flight was delayed, and he’s not there yet, so Shawn is scared. Every segment is Shawn looking over his shoulder like Daffy Duck during duck season, waiting for his inevitable Brock Beat-down. Eventually, Shawn is in the ring with Brock and Paul Heyman, and Hunter rolls in just in the nick of time to protect Shawn (which is a whole other thing) and sign the contract. Brock signs and leaves. Perfect spot to end the show…
Except we have 15-20 minutes left.
Okay so, umm… commercial break!
And we’re back. Well, okay… let’s have a shot of Shawn and Hunter having a heart to heart that ends with Shawn walking off possibly pissed at Hunter. And we’re out!
No we are not.
Hoo-boy, okay-commercial… and interview Big Show about going into Summerslam-WAITAMINUTE! SOMETHINGS HAPPENING IN THE PARKING LOT! Heyman is blocking Shawn’s car with his car. They’re yelling at each other, AND LESNAR GRABS SHAWN! The camera goes black and we hear Lesnar beating down Shawn.
Okay, end on a cliff-hanger; what happened to Shawn? Good, we’re out-no we’re not.
We come back from commercial (notice a pattern?) to see Hunter and everyone else who wanted some extra camera time worrying about Shawn. We cut back to ringside where Lesnar has Shawn up in a fireman’s carry and is walking to the ring. Shawn takes the F-5 and as Hunter runs to the rescue, Lesnar locks on the arm-breaker. Heyman warns Hunter not to take another step, or Lesnar breaks Shawn’s arm; which he does anyway. Raw ends FOR REAL with trainers trying to help Shawn, and Lesnar running away with an evil grin on his face.
And Raw comes in at 10:01 p.m. here in Chicago.
Seriously
We honestly couldn’t have Shawn get beaten up at the beginning of the show? We couldn’t put this contract signing crap in the middle of the show and get it over with in time for (what should’ve been) the main event? Did you guys try SO HARD to end on time that you wound up short? Could you have given that extra time to, maybe Christian/Sandow?
This was a HUGE step backwards, I’m sorry, it is. You went from going overtime with the Main Events over the last two weeks, to going under trying to make time for a stupid segment that you had to strrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeetch out with false endings to fill up time THAT YOU TOOK AWAY FROM THE MATCHES!
(Sigh)
Seriously WWE, re-evaluate your damn priorities before Raw goes the Nitro route.
