Tag Archive: Eve Torres

  1. WWE RAW 12/10/13 – The Slammy Awards


    While I believe Mark did an excellent job filling in for me last week, an event the caliber of the Slammys needs something special.  And as such, I’ve gone out and gotten a Slammy Award winner to write the RAW review this week – me!  Yes, it is I, the Slammy Award Winning ThinkSoJoE taking the helm once again as RAW presents the 2013 Slammy Awards!  Earlier today, yours truly won one of the WWE.com Slammys.  Don’t believe me?  Look!

    I was there!  Slammy Award Winner, baby!

    I was there! Slammy Award Winner, baby!

    Anyways, I digress.  Let’s roll!

    I watch 30 minutes of RAW, then leave for work, then review the rest of RAW in real-time as I watch it.  Except for when I fast-forward.  Then it’s not really “real-time,” I guess.  In any event, this review is being written by a Slammy Award Winner.  The SmackDown review can’t say that.  The RAW review can.  So that makes the RAW review better!  Of course, since it’s a popularity contest, I’ll probably lose the BWF Award.  I give them a place to talk wrestling and they like that G guy better than me.  Bastards.  



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    First, I want to apologize for the lateness of this article. There was a death in my family this week, and it took precedent over anything else.

    REY MYSTERIO AND SIN CARA DEF EPICO AND PRIMO – After the match, Rey-Cara were ambushed by the Prime Time Players, who said they were the rightful number one contenders to the tag title and wouldn’t let anyone take anything from them ever again.

    EVE TORRES (DIVAS CHAMPION) DEF BETH PHEONIX – The broadcast team spent this match speculating over whether or not Eve got her title match by injuring Kaitlin, the scheduled opponent for then champ Layla, who joined the team at ringside. Layla tried to take up the debate, but faltered.

    BRODUS CLAY DEF HEATH SLATER – U.S. Champion Antonio Cesaro joined the broadcast team to set up a potential feud with Brodus.

    DOLPH ZIGGLER DEF SANTINO MARELLA – Marella got distracted trying to get his “Cobra” back from Vicki Guerro at ringside, leaving him vulnerable to two “Zigzags.”

    WADE BARRETT DEF JUSTIN GABRIEL – Little more than a squash to build up Barrett.

    TEAM FRIENDSHIP DEF KINGSTON/R-TRUTH – Kane and Bryan constantly arguing left them vulnerable to double-teaming and high-impact spots, however Bryan brought the belts home with the “no” lock.

    RANDY ORTON DEF TENSAI – This was the basic “face takes a beating but keeps coming back,” routine. Orton wins with the RKO.

    DAMIEN SANDOW DEF ZACK RYDER – Ryder actually looked good here, even getting a close two-count with the “broski boot,” but in the end it was another win for Sandow. Prior to this match, Sandow came out to remind us that this was back-to-school season, and attempted to give the crowd a “vocabulary lesson,” by running them down with terms like “ignoramuses,” and “miscreants.” This leads to a (heated) debate by the announcers over what counts as a “big word.”

    SHEAMUS AND JOHN CENA DEF C.M. PUNK AND ALBERTO DEL RIO – We got a fast-paced back and forth, with everyone getting a piece of everyone else. Match ends with Cena getting an AA on Punk for the three-count despite Punk having a foot clearly on the ropes. Punk actually badgers the ref all the way to the back about the decision.

    Highlights of the night included both Jim Ross and John Bradshaw Layfield joining Cole on commentary, and a repeated update on Jerry Lawler. He is home in Memphis, recuperating and will be on RAW next week for a special interview.

    Overall, a solid, if uneventful RAW; at least till the end

  3. Matt B. Presents- Cena versus Rock – A Psychic Kids prediction


    Once In A Lifetime...... Until Next Year!

    Hi I’m Matt B. Wrestle and with us today is Bobby L. (Last name withheld to protect identity from Vince’s lawyers). Bobby has a special gift for psychic predictions and has been featured on that show  A&E  Psychic Kids. Why is he here? Well we want to use him to predict the Rock vs Cena match and its implications at Wrestlemania 28. So lets ask the first Question.

    Matt: After seeing the return of the Doctor of Thuganomics last week what do we have in store for Wrestlemania?

    Bobby: I see a rough edge Cena who will be taking no garbage from anyone after Wrestlemania. I predict his feud with Kane has set Cena on his path.

    Matt: So basically a return to the gray characters of the heralded Attitude Era?

    Bobby: Yes and No. No because that era is dead and entertaining  family oriented programs are still the driving ambition.

    Matt:?.. We just saw Cena curse last week and references to pie and Cena’s lady parts.

    Bobby: All just little touches that add to the overall feud that will dissipate once the feud concludes. A little tease to buy the PPV

    Matt: So you predict that he will return harder edge but still family friendly even after the cursing and threatening to put his nuts in Rock’s face.

    Bobbi: Yes.

    I pause complexed by this theory. Or should I say prediction, he is psychic after all. I go through my notes searching for more clues to a harder edged program featuring more cursing and meta wrestling. I think I found it.

    Matt: Eve Torres making out with Cena who is publicly acknowledged as married. Shouldn’t this be an issue?

    Bobby: No I believe all will be forgotten by April 2nd. Dwayne will go back to acting full time and everything will return to normal. Or as normal as one goes with the creative team.

    Matt: More fart divas and Bella Twin pushes?

    Bobby: I don’t have to be a psychic to tell you the Divas suck. edit* No offense to the divas*

    Matt: But with the emergence of the male roster like Ziggler, R-truth and even Santino Marella wouldn’t this clue in to a return to anything can happen television branching out from the Cena turn to Thuganomics at Wrestlemania?

    Bobby: Are you okay?

    Calming myself. I believe in the knowledge that this could be the final year of our existence. 2012. The Mayan calendar. Why wouldn’t the E just go balls to the wall and give us the gray character development that we came to love during the 90’s. I finally decide to take a breath and ask about the possibilty that this is in fact a reverse Hogan.

    Bobby: A reverse Hogan?

    Matt: Yeah Rock took on Hogan at Wrestlemania in the SkyDome, when Hulk was still NWO and after beating him turned him face. So is it possible that the plan could include a Cena heel turn after a win over the Rock?

    Bobby pauses for a minute. Deep in thought. I was so expecting him to put his hand on his temples, Charles Xavier style  but he just thinks on it. He appears to convulse suddenly and for a minute there I think I broke him with the impossible question. When hs eyes roll into the back of his head I’m almost ready to call the paramedics. But suddenly his hands go up to stop me.

    Bobby: What you hope for seems to be certain. Only if WWe creative doesn’t hear about this interview first.

    The dread takes over as I envision my own psychic revelation as Vince having one of his underlings coming across my article and deciding to change everything at the last minute. Invalidating this prediction and thus dooming us to another stale  profitable Wrestlemania.

    Matt: So we can’t tell anyone?

    Bobby: Not it you want this to work out.

    So I would have to release this article after Wrestlemania to preserve all hope that it comes true. I knew I was facing a dilemma. My reputation would be tarnished with fans. I couldn’t allow that but at the same time if the E changed it at the last minute I would still be suspect of fraud.

    Matt: So I just can’t publish this article.

    Bobby: Good move. Sometimes the best solution is to do nothing. Oh and that Randy Orton piece about his feud with Kane?

    Matt: Yeah

    Bobby: I wouldn’t even waste my time. That is just filler to give Orton something to do.

    Matt: Are you sure?

    Bobby: Dude. Who is the one with the A&E Show?

    Matt: So I have no article to print on either front then.

    I have to do something to publish a piece or I have nothing for Wrestlemania. I could d0 the Undertaker vs HHH. NO. Everyone and their mother has covered that Rocky sequel. Punk and Jericho. Hell no it would just be Cena vs Rock redux. Wait what about Sheamus vs Daniel Bryan. No. Wait if I scratch out HHH favorite Sheamus and do a piece on Daniel Bryan and his descent into main event villiany that would cover something new.

    Bobby: Daniel Bryan.

    Matt: Wow you are good.

    Bobby: Duh, psychic. That could work.

    Matt: Good. Thanks for your time.


  4. Raw Is Not Elmo 1-23-12


    As I write this, I am watching Elmo’s World. I am a good father and that is what a good father does. She has been since put to bed. Now I am watching 2 Broke Girls wondering what will come next to the wrestling fans. Last week, we had one of the best endings to Raw since Punk’s “The Promo.” Now it’s time to see how the WWE will follow up with it.

    Raw began with Punk doing what he does best. Sitting cross-legged in the ring with a microphone in his hand. He said that he wanted to hear Johnny Ace say all the things to Punk’s face. Then John Cena came out and said he wanted Kane tonight and Ryder to get his rematch. Cena had some great fire and intensity. This is the hardest thing I have ever had to admit. But I am beginning not to hate Johnny Ace as a character.

    The first match was John Cena & CM Punk vs. Dolph Ziggler & Jack Swagger. It was a really decent match. You had the face in peril and then Ziggler won via a handful of tights.

    Chris Jericho played with the crowd. This is one of the best new things about Raw.

    Mick Foley gave Zack Ryder a pep talk and Cena offered Ryder his back. Ryder said he wanted to do this on his own. Ryder took quite the beating. If you want to see this match done much better, click here and watch Icarus vs. Gregory Iron. It was a great moment for Ryder. Kane is over like a monster, and Ryder got lots of sympathy for it. Ryder got a lot of  chants in the show. As they were putting Ryder in the ambulance, Eve Torres auditions to be the worst human being ever by telling Cena this was all his fault. But the winner was Josh Matthews who tried to interview John Cena. John Cena gave his angry face at the camera which looked like a Vince snarl.

    Sheamus wrestled Jinder Mahal. I would like Mahal to never appear on my tv. They’re building up the Royal Rumble.

    Miz and Truth are wrestling tonight. Do they understand what it means to wait for something for a PPV?

    Brodus Clay killed Heath Slater.

    Miz and Truth wrestled a good match I didn’t want to see because they should be waiting for a PPV.

    Johnny Ace is told his job is going to be evaluated by Triple H. Surprise, surprise. Ace didn’t wrestle. It was Otunga, whom Punk killed faster than I mute the tv when Jennifer Hudson’s commercials come on.

    Another good Raw tonight. I really liked the build-up towards the PPV. The Punk-Ace stuff is evolving into good. Clay continues to be a great new gimmick and surprise. This has been a pretty solid Raw.

  5. Raw Is After Vengeance 10-24-11


    Vengeance is in the books. Off the top of my head, it was a really good pay-per-view. If I had spent my money (I saw it in a bar where I do a pre-game show, so I was not charged for it.), I would have been pleased with the purchase. The worst part of the night was our service, but that is not typical, so you take it as it comes. Vengeance had some really good matches. Cena-ADR was a total (good) brawl. Henry-Show was a pretty good match (Even though the ring collapsing will never touch Taz-Bam Bam Bigelow in ECW). Sheamus-Christian, Orton-Rhodes, were pretty good matches for the hype behind them. Even Eve-Beth wasn’t painful.

    So coming next is Survivor Series. Now begins the build-up. They begin to recap the PPV. The ring collapsing was of course the first thing mentioned. And the second was Kevin Nash. Eve Torres had more people talking than Kevin Nash. HHH comes out to the ring likes it’s still 2004 and gets to be the center of attention. Why not? The ring collapsed back then, too. HHH does the same promo he’s done since ’04. He calls out Kevin Nash and is interrupted by the only guy I want to see less, Super Dave Osborne. HHH follows Super Dave up to the ramp and is attacked by Kevin Nash holding a sledgehammer. They did a nice job of selling the sledgehammer. If you get hit with one, your only television appearances for the next two weeks should be in a hospital bed.

    No matter how bad Raw is, it can be as bad as the Adam Sandler in drag movie.

    Cole and Lawler sold the sledgehammer hit very well. They are trying to make these mean something again.

    Our first match is Orton & Sheamus vs. Christian & Rhodes. Sheamus is really catapulting upwards. I think he might replace Kofi as my favorite wrestler in the WWE. These four know each other well in the ring and worked very well together. Sheamus got the pin and looks like he gets Mark Henry next. Good bout for the first match.

    Backstage, Super Dave is talking to Stephanie. This is how bad it is. I would rather see Stephanie on tv than Johnny Ace. John Cena sees Otunga and makes a Carlton Fresh Prince joke. If it didn’t sound scripted, I would forgive him for at least one poop joke.

    Santino got squashed by Dolph Ziggler. After Jack Swagger put him in the Ankle Lock Submission, the Walking Wellness Violation Mason Ryan comes out to his rescue. In case you were curious about what roid rage looks like, go back and watch this segment.

    After the commercial break, we have the younger Gomez Addams in the ring introducing Alberto Del Rio. Alberto Del Rio will be champ for a long time. Then CM Punk’s music hits. Then Super Dave interfered. Punk went over his mic skills. Then he mocked Ace’s “majestic voice” and asked him if he needed a new skateboard. Punk wants a title shot. All he had to do is say is he respected Ace.

    “I respect you, Funk-man.”

    -CM Punk in a deep Brian Pillman-like voice making reference to this

    Punk said that he respected Ace for doing more with less. Ace doesn’t want Punk as champion. 1997 called. They wanted their angle back.

    We got Nattie-Alicia Fox. Alicia actually beat Nattie. That was unpredictable.

    The John Morrison Future Endeavored Tour continued against Wade Barrett. John Morrison will have a nice career in AAA. It was just kind of a formality. I have no emotional investment in any more of Morrison’s matches. I’m just biding time until the next match. At least the Divas match had a surprise.

    Does Vince believe Jim Ross deserves ANY dignity? Michael Cole will quit if he loses the announcer’s challenge. Well, I guess we know who’ll win it.

    Miz & Truth attacked Zack Ryder and then cut a really good promo. After the commercial, we find out it’ll be a handicap match. I still have Walking Dead on DVR that needs to be watched. Hell, I’d rather watch Dirty Soap with my wife than this main event. I paid no attention to this match because the WWE Creative Team didn’t either.

    You want good wrestling? Go here if you’re in the Dallas/Fort Worth area. Go here to get a good cross-section of indy wrestling no matter where you are. And no matter who you are or where you are, go here. Cause you’re not getting it here with the WWE.

    To follow me on Twitter, click here. For Facebook, click here.

  6. Raw is Hunter 7-25-11


    Last week, we saw one of the weirdest, most bizarre changes in wrestling history. Tonight, there seems to be a new era, the real-life McMahon-Helmsley era, if you will. Questions abound. Who will become champion? Will Alberto del Rio cash in Money in the Bank? Will we see Zack Ryder? Who will Mark Henry sideline? Will we ever see Sin Cara again? Will my wife bring me home my drink from Sonic? (She did, btw.)

    The signature opens up. How do they have time for Ultimate Warrior? Are they proud of him? Really? (<—— Miz voice) No wonder CM Punk wants to quit.

    Whyyyyy in the blue hellllllllll (<——– Rock voice) is the championship match kicking off a Raw? I liked the wrestlers watching in the back. These two had a really good match. Rey and Miz had really nice chemistry together. And then, in a move that surprised absolutely no one, Alberto del Rio came in to cash in his Money in the Bank. Rey let ADR know that he was ready when he did a plancha onto ADR. ADR changed his mind and took his briefcase and went to the back. We all saw ADR cashing it in, but not cowering out.

    Vince McMahon on commentary used to drive “Anything can happen in the WWF” down our throats worse than Rocky Maivia. I feel like we’re getting to that place again.

    Then we get a nice recap featuring a champagne bath featuring Zack Ryder. And then they cut to John Cena who shook his hand. Don’t worry, John. You’ll get it back in no time.

    Then we have Dolph Ziggler versus Evan Bourne. (My wife likes Evan Bourne, so she stayed awake during this match.) Commentary was strong during this match. Lawler made Bourne seem important. This was a really strong match. It got over Ziggler and the sleeper hold. And I don’t think Bourne lost anything by losing here.

    Keith Stone is once again on my tv. This is not acceptable. Maryse & Melina vs. Kelly Kelly & Eve Torres. I am liking Eve more and more. And Maryse is sexy. This is quite possibly the worst match on Raw I have seen in some time. I’m just happier that this match got longer than the Keith Stone segment.

    R-Truth is talking to Triple-H. Back from the commercial break, Triple-H is in the ring. This feels important. This monologue gives me what I need to browse some Ring of Honor and WWE and MPX (Buy a $Payday$ t-shirt. Just because I said so.) t-shirts. I loved the swerve of us thinking CM Punk was coming out and getting Jim Ross instead. Though I gotta admit. The moment I hear the snare drums, I think of Roddy Piper. Then Cole cut a promo. HHH gave him the rest of the night off as an announcer. But not as a wrestler. Cole had a match next. Then R-Truth got the hottest segment of the night. HHH got to channel his old DX self. “Are you talking to me or are you talking to these other guys?” R-Truth does the psycho eyes better than anybody else. HHH watches R-Truth walk away and lets him know HHH re-signed somebody else-John Morrison.

    Then Michael Cole came out to the ring in Triple-H’s music. And his opponent… Zack Ryder. In the span of a minute, my Twitter timeline had 16 comments about Zack Ryder. It was worse than the diva match, but in Cole’s defense, he’s not a wrestler. The crowd went nuts. It was nice. Please tell me they are going to use him.

    We had a Kofi-Alberto del Rio match. Kofi is such an incredible athlete. Aside from Rey, I don’t think I’ve ever seen a luchador adjust to the WWE in-ring style as well as del Rio. The finish was really strong. Kofi almost had del Rio down for the pin. Kofi had an injured arm and tapped out because of the injury and looked pretty strong even after a loss.

    HHH will be on Smackdown! The exclamation point is there because it’s on the name, not because I’m enthused.

    My tv does not need to be adjusted. Jim Ross is supposed to be there. Who has an “Add Jim Ross” on their settings? Maybe he can do commentary on General Hospital. “Stone Cold! Stone Cold!” regarding Jason. (I’m married. Don’t judge me.)

    Miz is not happy. A champion needs a face. And, in a cheap plug worthy of DX, Miz will be on The George Lopez Show on Wednesday. Something tells me Miz may NOT be the focal point of that show, as it most likely will be crashed. Then Rey comes out to face the Confederate Warrior. The crowd really is in to John Cena. Maybe they’re in Charleston, SC. I heard the Confederacy was big there. While I can mock them all I want, this was a hot crowd. Cena and Rey fought a really good match. I really had no idea who was going to win this one. Watching Cena win made me a little sick, but then Punk’s music hit and he has new music. They had a nice stare-down with their belts.

    All in all, this was such a good Raw. There are things I didn’t like. I didn’t like Cena winning the belt. I didn’t like the divas segment/match. But all the rest of the matches were great.  (I’m not counting Ryder-Cole as a match.) It was undpredictable, fun, and it sounds like they are listening to us.

    To follow me on Twitter, click here. For Facebook, click here.

  7. RAW 6.14.10

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    Sorry this took so long everyone.  I was fighting with technology all night.

    What’s up everyone!! Tonight, RAW comes from my home state of North Carolina!! What is going on with the Season One NXT Rookies?! What’re the matches going to be to prepare us for Fatal 4Way? WILL SHEAMUS EVER TAN?! All questions will be answered tonight… Not really.

    Raw starts us off with a rewind of what happened last week.  If you didn’t see it, YouTube it, because I’d really rather not cover it again.  It was the NXT rookies beating the hell out of everyone, and that’s all I’ll say about it.  I saw enough of it reviewed and talked about and replayed in the past week that I’m so over what’s happened.

    We start out with Wade Barrett in the ring, and he introduces himself as the Season One NXT Winner.  He says he’s out there because RAW General Manager, Bret Hart demanded that he come out and apologize for lats week.  He says that the rest of the NXT Rookies need to come out too so that they can apologize properly.  The NXT Rookies fill the ring, and Jerry “The King” Lawler and Michael Cole leave, along with Justin Roberts and a few other people.  Barrett starts with Heath Slater, asking him to apologize.  Slater says no, and he would do it again in a heartbeat.  Barrett moves to Justin Gabriel, who says never and he still has goosebumps.  Skip Sheffield says no apolgies, no regrets.  Michal Tarver says that the look of fear lived on the sweetest of his dreams, and there is no one in the WWE who can make him apologize.  Darren Young says not a chance, and he had the time of his life last week.  David Otunga says apologize?  For what?  After how the NXT Rookies were treated, they need to apologize to them.  Barrett takes the mic back and says it looks like it’s unanimous.  The rookies were treated like dirt, animals, and sooner or later, people will behave like animals.  They were made to change in a small locker room, do ridiculous challenges, and were at the mercy of overzealous pros.  The rules changed at a moment’s notice, they were eliminated on a whim, and they were made an international joke.  Last time he looked, jokes were supposed to be funny, but no one was laughing after RAW last week when they destroyed the ring and John Cena (Obviously, this guy doesn’t read through the Twitter feed I was getting…)

    Bret Hart makes his way out and says that they look proud of what they did.  Where he comes from, eight on one doesn’t make you tough, just makes you look more cowardly.  He reminds us that last week, they attacked John Cena, the Straight Edge Society, security, Justin Roberts, a timekeeper, and a Hall of Famer.  Wade Barrett says that Daniel Bryan showed some remorse for it (because apparently that’s how they’re going to play off his firing…), and we’ll never see Daniel Bryan again.  Bret says that despite everything, John Cena will still be competing this Sunday at Fatal 4Way.  Wade says this had nothing to do with Cena, or the people in the arena.  It’s between the Rookies and WWE Management.  Aside from some of the pros, they don’t have a problem with anyone in the locker room.  The Rookies could stay out arguing all night, but they need to get down to business.  Wade has a contract, and a title opportunity at a Pay-Per-View of his choosing, but the other Rookies have their own demands.

    David Otunga takes the mic and says their demands are guaranteed WWE contracts, private dressing rooms, and first class travel accommodations.  If they fail to comply with even one demand, last week was just the beginning.  Barrett takes the mic back and says that before Bret says anything, two weeks ago, Vince McMahon informed him that he would have difficult decisions to make as RAW’s General Manager.  This isn’t a difficult choice, because behind him are a group of highly-polished athletes, who could be the future of the WWE.  They’re dressed, here, and ready to fight.  All they need is a contract.

    Bret says that Barrett is right.  It is his job to find new, fresh talent.  But, with that in mind, his answer is no.  He’s not hiring anyone.  Barrett says he’s making a mistake.  Bret says that it’s the Rookies who made the mistake by attacking Cena.  He’s not signing any of them and on account of his actions, Barrett is no longer the breakout star of the WWE (Though Bret said WWF and it made me laugh), and he doesn’t get a title shot, because he’s fired.  As for the rest of the Rookies, they can get out of the ring, or Bret will call the cops to physically remove them for trespassing, and they’re all through, whether they like it or not.


    Everyone’s back ringside, and King says you can’t bully your way into the WWE.

    Fatal Four Way Match for the United States Championship
    United States Champion R-Truth vs John Morrison vs Zack Ryder vs The Miz

    Ryder focuses on Morrison, and Truth focuses on Miz.  Truth and Morrison get Miz and Ryder out of the ring, and go at it.  Truth and Morrison lock up, and Truth gets Morrison in a headlock.  Truth goes for a cover, but Ryder breaks it.  Ryder whips Truth, and Miz grabs his ankles.  Truth kicks him off, and Morrison rolls Ryder up.  Ryder kicks out at two.  Miz, Ryder, and Truth are outside the ring.  Miz gets up on the apron, and Morrison flips outside the ring, grabbing Miz and throwing him out and into Ryder.


    Miz and Morrison are in the ring, and Morrison goes for the cover.  Miz kicks out at two, only to be covered again, and Miz kicks out at two again.  Ryder’s up on the turnbuckle, and Morrison goes up with him, going for a superplex.  Truth pulls them down and everyone’s down.  Truth goes for a cover on Miz, who kicks out at two, then Ryder, who kicks out at two, then Morrison who kicks out at two.  Miz goes for a cover on Truth, but Truth kicks out a two.  Miz is attacked by Truth, but Ryder pulls him off.  Truth starts wailing on him, then goes for Morrison and salms him down.  Ryder misses a clothesline, but Truth hits Ryder with a scissor kick.  Truth covers Ryder, but Miz breaks it up.  Truth goes for Miz, but Miz pulls on the top rope, sending Truth out.  Miz then hits Morrison with a baseball slide.  Miz then runs at the opposite tunbuckle and hits Ryder with his swinging corner clothesline.  Morrison pulls Miz out and hits him with a clothesline.  Truth and Ryder are in the ring, and Truth hits the Lie Detector on Ryder.  He goes for the cover, but Morrison breaks it.  Morrison went to do something to Truth, but Miz distracted him, and both Truth and Morrison throw Miz out.  Truth knocks Morrison down and goes for the cover, but Ryder breaks it up.  Truth knocks Ryder in the corner, Ryder moves, Truth hit with Rough Ryder.  Ryder goes for the cover, but Morrison breaks it up.  Morrison hits Startship Pain on Truth, Miz throws him out, and covers Truth for the win.

    New United States Champion, The Miz!

    The main event tonight will be Randy Orton vs Sheamus!

    Randy is backstage with Josh Matthews, and Matthews asks how Randy’s shoulder is, considering that Randy is competing tonight.  Randy says that anything can happen at Fatal 4Way, as was just proven.  He says to watch, wait, and see about his shoulder, when he fights Sheamus.  Matthews then asks about the NXT Rookies.  Randy says part of him has to respect it, because he understands why they’re making a point.  But, a bigger part of him just thinks they’re a bunch of punks.  They deserved to either be fired, or have their brains beaten in.  But, considering Barrett only got fired, they got off lucky.


    We come back to a Royal Pains package with Big Show, and Mark Feuerstein is with the Bellas.  We’re reminded that this Thursday, on USA, at 10/9 Central, the Big Show guest stars.  Ted DiBiase comes up and interrupts .  He says that Mark could have a shiny new car of his choice waiting for him in the parking lot if he makes Ted co-Guest Host for the night.  Mark says that unlike some people in the room, he has integrity.  The answer is no.  Mark then admits he’s a little scared of Ted, but then sees Big Show.  He says that he would love to let Ted co-Guest Host, but there’s no chance he’s going to let him do that, because Ted’s a spoiled little daddy’s boy.  Mark says that he was a wrestler in high school, and they called him Main Event Mark.  Show clears his throat, and they shut up.  Show says that they can do a match tonight: Show and Mark vs Ted and Virgil.  Ted says done, and he and Virgil leave.   Mark admits to Show that he was really an ice skater.  He does a move where he jumps into Show’s arms, and the Bellas see it.  Show says next time, Mark catches him, because it’s much more impressive.

    Up next, John Cena will talk about last week’s attack!


    Rewind to last week’s first Viewer’s Choice Match, the Body Slam Contest between Show and Jericho.

    Chris Jericho vs Evan Bourne

    Chris an Evan start viciously.  Chris kicks Evan, then rams him into the turnbuckle.  Chris Irish Whips Evan, who counters with a hurricanrana.  Drop toe hold, dropkick to the face, and then Bourne goes for the cover, but Jericho kicks out at one.  Jericho clotheslines Bourne, and goes for the cover, but Bourne kicks out at two.  Chri then drops Bourne, stomps on his back, gets him in a headlock.  Bourne gets up and kicks back, but Jericho smacks him and runs him into the turnbuckle.  He throws Bourne over, but Bourne lands on the apron, kicking Jericho.  He goes for a sunset flip, but Chris counters and goes for the Walls of Jericho, only for Bourne to kick him away.  Bourne goes for a cover, but Jericho kicks out at two.  Jericho hits the Codebreaker, and goes for the cover, but Bourne kicks out at two.  Jericho starts attacking Bourne, and the ref tells him to stop.  Jericho shoves the ref away and keeps going against Bourne.  Jericho threatens the ref the next time he comes over and keeps kicking Bourne.  The ref calls for the bell.

    Evan Bounre wins via Disqualification

    Jericho picks Bourne up and smacks him.  Bourne kicks him and hits the Shooting Star Press.

    Next up, Cena will respond to the NXT attack.



    Cena comes out and makes his way to the ring as we flash back to earlier tonight when Barrett was fired.

    Cena says that he had the night off, and he thanks Bret for having his best interests at heart.  Thanks to Bret for not caving into the demands of the Rookies, because they’re demands that shouldn’t even be put up for negotiation.  A portion of him respects them for doing it, and they needed a target.  He says he’s the biggest target (and I blame the orange shirt for this), and he’s used to it.  He goes on to say that their plan was almost brilliant, because their genius was blinded by their ignorance.  The problem was with management, and they took RAW away from the WWE Universe, which was a bad move, because they made five million new enemies.  They destroyed the ring, considered sacred ground, and now every WWE Superstar wants their head on a plate.  Wade was fired tonight.  Bold decision, but it won’t fix the problem.  If the group was lawless enough to stop a broadcast of RAW, he says that getting arrested for a misdemeanor is the least of their problem.  They’ve been kicked out, but he’s still there, and he hopes their watching.  He’s going to Fatal 4Way, he’ll be on RAW the night after, and he’ll be standing in the ring, demanding they finish it.  They’ve been fired, and all Cena has is his word.  His word is this: If they fight, he won’t press charges.

    The NXT Rookies show up from the stands again.  He says that they thought he was a target?  They put the target off him and put it on their own heads.  King gets into the ring joined by Evan Bourne, William Regal, R-Truth, and Santino.  A full out brawl starts, and Mark Henry, Randy Orton, and Edge all join.  Sheamus even runs in with his lead pipe.  The NXT Rookies run away, but the Superstars chase them backstage and out of the arena.


    Sheamus is backstage with his lead pipe and Josh Matthews walks up and asks why he helped.  Sheamus says that he won’t let the NXT Rookies ruin his match at Fatal 4Way, and if anyone’s going to take out Cena, it’s going to be him.

    Rewind to last week’s Battle Royal.

    Diva’s Champion Eve Torres & Gail Kim vs Maryse and Alicia Fox

    It’s been announced that the Diva’s Championship is on the line in a Fatal 4Way as well on Sunday.  Diva’s Champion Eve Torres will defend against Gail Kim, Maryse, and Alicia Fox.

    Maryse shoves Eve before the match has even started, and the two start attacking as soon as the bell rings.  Eve kicks Maryse in the stomach and throws her down.  Eve bounces back, but Alicia grabs her hair.  Eve tries to pay her back, but turns around to get hit by Maryse with a spinning back kick.  Alicia gets tagged in and they hit a double team, before Alicia covers Eve, but Eve kicks out.  Alicia hits a superplex and then goes for the cover, but Eve kicks out again.  Alicia puts Eve in a headlock, Eve fights out, and Alicia throws her onto the mat.  She drags her by her hair to the corner and tags in Maryse.  I missed some part or another here, but Alicia’s back in, she kicks Gail away, and then Eve is thrown into the corner.  Alicia goes for a kick, but misses and ends up kicking Maryse.  Eve hits a neckbreaker on Alicia and wins.

    Diva’s Champion Eve Torres and Gail Kim win!

    Turns out John Cena has decided to compete tonight after all, and the main event is now the one we missed the other week: John Cena and Randy Orton vs Edge and Sheamus.  But, next up, Mark and Big Show will take on Ted DiBiase and Virgil.


    The Big Show & Guest Host Mark Feurstein vs Ted DiBiase & Virgil

    Ted and Show start out this match.  Ted tries to get Show in a submission, but Show powers out and shoves Ted into a corner.  He then proceeds to put his ass in Ted’s face.  He stands Ted up and slaps his chest once, twice.  Ted is throw into the opposite corner, and manages to poke Big Show’s eyes.  Ted tries to pick him up, but Show just throws him.  Ted then tags in Virgil, who looks at Ted like he’s nuts.  He gets off the apron to talk to Ted, but Show grabs his head and just hurls him into the ring.  Virgil rolls to the other side of the ring and out, but Mark grabs him and throws him back into the ring.  Show bodyslams Virgil, then steps on him.  He picks him up, throws him into the turnbuckle, rips her shirt, and slaps him too.  Show gets Virgil with the chokeslam.  While Ted’s yelling at a motionless Virgil to get up, Show tags in Mark.  Mark breakdances in the ring for a minute before he does the worm over to Virgil.  He winds up, and then drops… next to Virgil in an attempted elbow drop.  Anyway, he covers Virgil for the win.

    Big Show and Mark Feuerstien win!

    Ted looks both humiliated and pissed.  He starts to just walk right by Virgil, but then he stops and pulls $100 out of his boot, walking over and sticking it in Virgil’s mouth.  He then walks away, but goes back, grabs the money, wipes it on Virgil and puts it in his trunks, reminding me of a hooker, before he walks out.


    Showstopper by Toby Mac is the official F4W theme!

    William Regal vs Santino Marella with Vladimir Kozlov as the Special Guest Referee

    Kozlov starts the match and Santino, reminiscent of the other week, attempts a few kicks on Regal before Regal nails him with a shoulder block, stomping on his arm.  Santino’s flipped, and Regal’s back on his arm.  Regal’s focusing on Santino’s arm, but Santino manages to get Regal down with a handful of tights, and Kozlov gives him the three count.  Regal argues, but Kozlov rolls out of the ring.

    Santino Marella wins.

    Bret comes out and says that he wants every Superstar out on the stage to prevent history from repeating itself.  Up next, the main event!


    Edge & Sheamus vs WWE Champion John Cena & Randy Orton

    Sheamus starts with Cena.  They lock up, Sheamus gets Cena in a headlock.  Cena pushes down on Sheamus’ knee with his foot to get out, and reverses it.  Sheamus gets to the ropes.  Cena reaches out to Sheamus’ hand like he’s going to lock up again, then goes around him for a full nelson, but Sheamus gets to the ropes again.  Cena moves over and tags Orton in.  Orton punches Sheamus, then puts him in a headlock.  Sheamus pushes Orton into the turnbuckle and gets him down, kicking at him.  Sheamus tags in Edge, but Oton hits Edge with a backbreaker.  He goes down, pounding on the mat, then gets up and goes for the RKO, but Edge pushes him away and rolls out of the ring.


    Cena gets the upperhand on Edge, hits a fisherman suplex and goes for the cover, but Edge kicks out at two.  Cena goes for the Attitude Adjustment, but Edge gets out and goes for a clothesline only to miss. Cena hits a clothesline, however, and goes for a cover.  Edge grabs the ropes.  Cena punches Edge a few times and then knocks Edge out of the ring.  Edge gets back in, but stays on the apron, grabbing Cena’s head and jumping off the apron.  Cena falls back, and then Edge drags Cena to the other corner.  He gets him in an arm bar before he tags in Sheamus.  Sheamus kicks Cena, then goes for the cover, but Cena kicks out at two.  Sheamus delivers a running high knee to Cena, then shoves his head down.  Sheamus distracts the ref, and Edge holds Cena in a headlock.  Sheamus then tags in Edge.  Edge tries to get Cena up, but Cena hits a superplex on him.  Edge then tags Sheamus back in, and Sheamus hits an elbow drop.  Sheamus, once again, distracts the ref, and Edge takes advantage outside the ring.  Sheamus rolls out and throws Cena into the barrier.  He gets him back in the ring and goes for a cover, but Cena kicks out at two.

    Sheamus hits a clothesline and goes for another cover, but Cena kicks out at two again.  Sheamus gets Cena in a headlock and wraps his legs around Cena’s torso.  Cena stands up, holding Sheamus and reaches for Orton, but falls.  Sheamus goes for the cover, but Cena kicks out at two.  Sheamus tags in Edge and Cena goes for the Attitude Adjustment.  Sheamus drops him, and Cena is set up for the Spear, but moves last minute.  Orton and Sheamus are tagged in.  Orton keeps dropping Sheamus to the mat, and then hits a scoop slam.  Orton gets Sheamus between the ropes and drops him face-first into the mat.  He drops to the ring again, and then gets up to RKO Edge.  Sheamus hits Orton with an Ax Handle, and then hits what King (I think) called the Irish Curse Backbreaker, and goes for a cover, but Orton kicks out.  Sheamus gets Orton in a submission, but Orton fights out.  Sheamus puts his knee in Orton’s gut, and goes for the cover, but Orton kicks out.  Sheamus drags Orton to his corner and tags in Edge.  Orton fights Edge and Sheamus, and Edge hits a drop toe-hold and beats on Orton’s shoulder.  Orton gets to his feet and then is Irish Whipped.  He kicks Edge, who hits a clothesline.  Orton tags Cena.  Cena hits two shoulder blocks when the lights go down.

    The NXT Rookies are destroying the backstage area.  Two of them, I’m not sure which two because everyone started looking the same, get Bret in the back seat of a limo, which then proceeds to rear end a bunch of cars.  They pull him out and say they want an answer by Sunday, and then they scatter.

    So!  What will the answer be at Fatal 4Way?  Will the Rookies ever go away? STAY TUNED!!

  8. WWE Superstars

    1 Comment


    It looks like we will get a look at what happened on NXT according to my DVR description.

    But first…

    Match 1:  Maryse and Jillian Hall vs The Bella Twins

    Meh…standard Diva’s match.  While the Bella’s and Maryse are hot, I HATE Diva wrestling.  Maryse hits the French Kiss for the win.  After the match, Maryse and Jillian harrass the Bella’s a little bit more until Eve Torres comes to the rescue.

    Match 2:  Vladimir Kozlov vs Random Jobber A

    If I have to tell you who wins, then there is something wrong with you.

    NXT Lookback

    In case you missed it, Michael Tarver and Daniel Bryan (who is now known by his real name of Brian Danielson) were eliminated due to their comments last week and Skip Sheffield was eliminated by the pros.

    Match 3:  Vance Archer and Curt Hawkins vs Random Jobbers B and C

    While we haven’t seen Vance Archer in a few months on WWE TV, Curt Hawkins hasn’t been for alot longer than that.  Hawkins and Archer get the win here.  I guess this is a last ditch effort for these two guys.  Very random tag team.  After the match, Archer tells everybody to pay attention.  Hawkins says it couldn’t have been that easy to forget about him.  He says they have been given contract for 30 days to make an impact.  Whatever…

    Main Event:  Dolph Ziggler vs Chris Masters

    At least this match sort of makes sense.  These are two guys looking to get in the Intercontinental Title picture.  Ziggler wins with the Zig Zag.  This was a pretty good match…too bad nobody cares about them.

    That’s it for tonight.  See ya next week.

  9. WWE Superstars

    1 Comment

    Hey, everybody.  Sorry I’m late this week, but I’m here now and ready to kick off on Super Bowl weekend. 

    Match 1:  Kelly Kelly and Eve Torres vs Katie Lea Burchill and Alicia Fox

    Diva wrestling…BOOOOOOO!!!!  Alicia Fox rolls through a Kelly Kelly lateral press for the win.  Anybody care about Diva matches???  I don’t and its my review, so no time for the Divas here.

    Match 2:  Evan Bourne vs Carlito

    I really like both of these guys.  I find them both extremely entertaining and full of ability.  I know, I know.  There are a lot of people that say Carlito is lazy and doesn’t work hard, but I don’t agree with that.  The guy just makes things look effortless.  He’s graceful in the ring.  As for Evan Bourne, I really wish they would push him in the US title race.  He is absolutely, 100% amazing.  RAW has so many talented guys that they refuse to give substantial pushes to.  These two are prime examples.  This was a fantastic match with a ton of false finishes!!!  Bourne wins with the Shooting Star Press after a Sunset Flip Powerbomb off the top rope.  This match gets two thumbs way way way up!

    Main Event:  John Morrison, Matt Hardy and The Great Khali vs The Hart Dynasty and Drew McIntyre

    Anytime you get John Morrison, Drew McIntyre, and The Hart Dynasty, you get a good match.  Fatt Lardy sucks now and Khali can’t move, but there is always something negative to every positive.  It’s just how the world works.  The Punjabi Playboy needs to hang it up and Hardy needs to be released…and soon.  How are those two supposed to be a credible tag team when they can’t do anything???  Matt Hardy hits the Twist of Fate and Khali hits the Punjabi Plunge on David Hart Smith for the win.  Matt Hardy does some type of dance to finish the show.  Very weird!

    See ya next week, my peeps!