So TNA has their Lockdown PPV this Sunday. Do I care? No, not really. Here’s the deal, I got virtually 45 minutes of sleep last night, and have been up since 5:30AM yesterday. Tried to call in to work at the night job, and then it started fucking snowing which means there is NO ABSOLUTE WAY I’m getting out of my shift. Ugghhh… still have to get up at 5:30AM tomorrow as well. Needless to say, my patience is VERY thin right now, which doesn’t bode well for Impact from this smark’s POV. But, it is what it is… let’s just get this over with, shall we?
Hey Warrior, want to go do some coke and bang some ringrats?
We open with Steve and Bobby walking into the arena (from separate entrances of course). For some reason Roode step out of the pyro room which makes me wonder. We get a vignette of Roode vs Sting going into Victory Road this Sunday.
James Storm our official TNA redneck comes out to make an inring promo about his eventual confrontation in a steel cage with the aforementioned Roode. I smell a slobber knocker coming this April. Just as Storm’s finishes Bully Ray comes out. He taughts the #1 contender tellling him that he won’t make it to Lockdown. And just when we think a fight is about to break out Ray calls out Gunner to take his licks. After a couple of punches the security groupies rush the ramp to separate the two, during the insueing ruckus Ray gets in a cheap shot.
Another Bobby Roode vignette about Sting.
Madison and Gail argue about losing the tag titles which they really weren’t defending, but i digress. They confront Sting who tells them that he’s busy dealing with Roode. He sets up two matches Gail vs Mickie and Madison vs Velvet Sky, Rayne’s match is next.
Madison Rayne vs Velvet Sky:
Madison composes herself on the ramp before cutting into her Killer Queen gimmick, which by the way needs to change but “hearts” to her anyway. Velvet comes out next shaking her pom poms and just as she is ready to staddle a rope for pigeons, she darts toward Rayne spear first. Early on Sky has the advantage with her assorted moves of doom until Madison gets the upper and due to a ref who can’t keep his hands off the knockout. Then the crowd gets behind Velvet which comes out like a druid chant for a death march. I laugh and die on the inside. No offense to the Madison haters but I’m behind her as her move set and more diversified. Anyway after a rollup by Sky which is reversed into another roll up with tights for the win.
Crimson is smug backstage bragging about the win over the two Robs, which is as brag worthy as breathing. After Morgan questions Crimson’s motives about winning belts and making money they head out.
Samoa Joe vs Crimson:
A short match to show that Crimson/Morgan are on the same page and another loss for Joe with Magnus looking weaker even by comparison when he attempts to attack Morgan on the outside only to get irish whipped into the ring post.
Austin Aries comes out and shows his X division champion reel and brags about being the longest reigning X Division champion exceeding the previous record of 182 days set by Christopher Daniels. Celebrating aside out comes Zema Ion, after some exchanges about breaking necks and nut hair growth, Ion gives the toast right before he throws a drink in is face. Aries answers back by dousing Ion in the hole bottle ruining his pretty hair.
Gail Kim vs Mickie James:
There was promos with Sting going on about crowing and craziness but ehh. Mickie and Gail continue to prove their previous WWE stint match was a fluke which they have been trying to allevate through superior matches. This one is no different. After Gail messes with Mickie’s knee we have a methodical attack which culminates with Mickie making a comeback but Kim out smarting her with a belt to the face. she scores the win. heel syle.
We have a watercooler or Lemonade talk according to Anderson about his involvement with AJ Styles. Daniels is curious why he’s taking Styles side which I had the same question because the story looked to be going good til last week. When Kazarian went from unwilling pawn to bitter assistant to all an out heel which now makes this story seem trite. But we have a match between the Daniels and Anderson to hype.
Daniels vs Anderson:
Anderson knocks off some ring rust with Daniels as he seems to not miss a step. Daniels bumps like a madman. Anderson and Daniels battle and during the melee Chris cuts his cheek. Kazarian comes down to the ring to distract Anderson only for AJ to come to the rescue Daniels gets up only to take a mic check. Anderson wins and prepares for Victory Road.
Jeff Hardy prattles on about Angle being an Olympic gold medalist. and his creatures. Speaking of Angle
Garett and Angle have a five minute challenge match which I assume (and you know what they say about assuming) will make Bitchoff (not my words but Angle’s) look good. And I guess that old adiom about is right not only does Garett look good but it also hypes Hardy vs Angle this Sunday when Hardy comes out to save Garett when Angle who’s angry about not beating Garett in time locks him in the ankle lock.
The Two Robs are interviewed by Wonder Years and talk about the upcoming open invitational. Yeah TV title on the line and the person is random. Here’s to an eventual title change so we can have some actual competiton. One can hope right.
James Storm vs Gunner:
Here are two back woods southern wrestlers on the opposing sides of the heel/face tangent. What we have so far is a good match between two competitors with Bully Ray egging on the Gunner. But Gunner gets the job done and by that he takes a Last Call to the face. Making James Storm look strong going into Victory Road.
Sting and Bobby Roode have their contract signing which is where Roode rips into Sting with all his worth for a good 8 minutes. All the while Sting sits patiently listening untl Bobby turns to leave. Sting flips the table over kicks over the chairs and puts on his makeup and attacks the champion. And while beating on the Roode he applies his trademark black paint to Roode’s face. After Roode scurries out of the ring face ashen from the paint sting gets enpowered by his attack.
We see Immortal tell Gunner not to come back to the Impact Zone. We then cut to clips hyping the “little engine” Garett train and matches as he talks of his perserverance. Wonder Years interview reiterates this fact. This of course leads to a Eric Bischoff promo in the middle of the ring talking of his sadness that after Flair’s warning, Garett continues to pursue his passion. He makes a match, a tag team match between Gunner w/ partner vs Garett and a partner of his choosing.
“Surprisingly” Kurt Angle comes down and cuts a promo on Garett about listening to his father and how he listened to his father and he became an olympic gold medalist. Garett looks on backstage with disgust.
Sting is in the bathroom talking to himself in the mirror. EY walks up on him as Sting’s cracking up. Asks to do something special for ODB, Sting after finally getting Roode’s name and Eric’s separate decides to treat ODB to a Knockouts Tag team title match. EY walks away baffled.
Knockout Tag Team Title match: Gail Kim/Madison Rayne vs ODB/EY- Match starts with EY and Gail in the ring and when EY won’t hit Gail, ODB tags herself in. ODB does most of the heavy lifting throughout the match. Rayne and Gail trade tags after getting the upper hand on ODB. What happens next is a comedy of weird lewd situations. EY’s in the match and immediately grapples with Earl Hebner (ref) placing him in the corner. Gail runs up from behind only to hit the turn buckle. Eric props up Gail only to have Madison run at slam face first into Kim’s crotch. He sets them up for double airplane spins and attempts to pin Gail only to have Madison kick him. The girls getting the upper hand try to clothesline EY over the top rope only to run into ODB, who takes Madison with her outside. After Madison reverses a toss into the ring steps she grabs one of the belts and goes back in and hits EY with the belt. Eric lands on Gail in the missionary position with Earl counting the three making ODB and EY the new Knockout Tag Team champs.
After the match EY proposes to ODB who reverses the question and Eric says “yes!” To the roar of the crowd.
A man by the name of Joseph Parks talks with a sercurity guard about talking to iMPACT officials, Bully Ray cuts a promo on Storm backstage . And Austin Aries gets some disturbing news. Sting emailed him about taking on Zema Ion tonight. Aries goes on his internet smark routine about throwing hard earned money down the toilet by showing the X division title match on free television.
X Division Title Match: What can I say but this is a good match performed by superior athletes who aren’t given enough to do beats the Garett Bischoff saga by a mile. And then it ends when Austin Aries ducks hair spray to the face, turning the tables and spraying Ion in the face to get disqualified. Zema Ion wins so we still have the Victory Road PPV match. Take that Internet Smarks?!
We see Mary Sue, I mean Velvet Sky getting her hair did, when the mysterious Joseph Parks walks past questioning her. He asks about his brother Chris Parks better known as Abyss who’s been missing for some months. Velvet having no clue and surprised Abyss had a brother can’t help help Joseph. We get a jump cut to Bully Ray.
He wants a title shot since he has taken out James Storm. Calls out Sting to make the match. Sting who has paint coating his fingers, comes down. Sting won’t allow the match with causes Ray to demand a match for the world title. Sting gives Ray a shot at Bobby Roode. But. It will be after the break.
World Title Match: Bully Ray vs Bobby Roode (C) Roode has an argument with Sting in the back about defending the title, which Sting says “Who’s says its for the World Title?” prompting Bobby to head to the ring. Roode tries to talk down Ray who wants none of it and wants to fight. After calling Roode a punk the match starts to pick up steam. Ray and Roode trade blows with Bobby at one point bitch slapping the bully. Soon Roode gets the upper hand beating down Ray and taunting him with the trademark Ray horns. Eventually leading to Ray to power slap Bobby until he picks up momentum hitting rights and lefts and back body dropping the champ. Setting him him for the Bully bottom getting the two. Roode getting desparate goes for a spear and heads out of the ring to grab Rays wallet chain. He charges the Bully who meets him with a big boot. And just when Ray’s had enough he grabs his chain and is ready to beat Roode with it when out of the crowd comes James Storm , chasing off Ray. This all before he super kicks Roode and leaves him draped with the title unconscious.
Garett Bischoff is talking to Wonder Years Jason Hervey about being confident about tonight but won’t divulge who his partner is.
Crimson and Morgan are getting ready in the locker room when Joseph Park walks back asking about Abyss. Asks if they can point him in the right direction. Of course no one watches their own product and points them toward Ray but whatever. The slow heel turn of Crimson is still brewing as I assume creative really doesn’t have anyone to take on Joe/Morgan. Well besides Morgan/Crimson. They take on Robbie T and Robbie E for a #1’s contender’s match. Which is next.
Robbie T comes out looking uncomfortable with a pink and white striped sweater. Escorting slash accompanying Robbie E to the ring. Crimson and Morgan come out to a more comfortable attire ready to go to war. Robbie E comes in first to take a beating at the hands of Crimson as he goofs to the crowd. Realizing he can’t hand E tags in Robbie T who takes it to Crimson. Crimson starts to fight back as he reverses a choke slam, he heads back to charge T but E smacks him with the trademark clip board to the back. Allowing Robbie T to tag in Little Robbie for a double team maneuver. The talk of the undefeated streak is brought up as Robbie E flies from the top rope with a fist. He gets a one count. Then its Robbie E’s turn to get a chance at the streak as he takes a beating to Crimson finishing up with a front slam for two. Rob Terry soon breaks out in a pose down which back fires when Crimson slams him to the canvas. Both men are down as there tag partners anxiously wait on the apron. Each tags his respective partner leading to Morgan cleaning house. Morgan stacks up the challengers in the corner and splashes them. Matt clothesline Terry outside the ring and Carbon Footprints Robbie E leading to Crimson to tag himself in and pin Robbie for the win. Morgan is visibly upset.
AJ is talking about the ongoing feud with him and the rest of Fortune. Gunner cuts a promo with Kurt bragging about Olympic gold medalist.
AJ comes out and talks of the importance of the 10th anniversary of Impact Wrestling. And all the allies and enemies he made. Speaking of enemies Daniels and Kaz come to the ring. After a lengthy back and forth about friendship and how AJ is to blame for his friendlessness, Styles decides to only associate with — Assholes as Mr. Anderson makes his return. Together they beat on the heels.
Garett Bischoff heads to the back to talk to his tag team partner. Advertisement for Fan interaction at TNA.
Main Event time, Kurt and Gunner head down to the ring. Garett heads down followed by—Jeff Hardy wearing one of the most disturbing makeup he can find. Painting veins and eyes on your eyelids makes Sting’s make up look tame in comparison. The match gets under way when Gunner and Angle charge the faces from behind, tossing Bisch Jr. outside the ring and double teaming Jeff Hardy. Jeff is taking most of the beat down as the heels tag in and out. Garett wants pacing on the apron. Finally Hardy gets the hot tag, Garett comes in and clothesline’s Angle and then smacks Gunner off the apron. Garett is on fire as he goes to work on Angle and drop kicks Gunner off the apron again. Even hitting a neckbreaker variation on Angle. Soon the heels get the upper hand as they double team Garett, as the heels throw Garett into the ropes Jeff tags himself in. Garett hits a double clothesline allowing Hardy to hit the swanton bomb on Angle for the win.
What we have now in light of Russo’s release is a more focused show with as Eric Bischoff said has story that is planed way more in advance. Tonight wasn’t too bad and it seems Garett is getting a bigger push than ever so we’ll see coming to Lockdown.
We start Impact Invasion with a wonderful involvement of a cluster fudge clip reel inter-cutting various movies 4,5,6 and 1 with last weeks Bischoff family drama. But lets start the show with a Bully Ray in ring promo.
Meesa Approve.
After being abandoned by his partner, Roode, he wants some answers. Not even allowing Roode’s music to finish before they take it to the ring.
To do some more…talking. Until the real culprit behind their Fleetwood Mac split reveals himself. Steve Borden comes out with his trademark UK special Cricket Bat. He tells the heels to get ready for a tag match against James Storm and….(J Hardy can’t leave the states because of his parole) The Insane Icon, Sting. Ta Ta for now.
So sad you couldn't be here these past two weeks.
The continuing story of Kramer vs Kramer err AJ, Daniels fight over Kazarian continues as we have a one on one bout between the aforementioned parents. After a pretty solid match Daniels wins with brass nucks handed him by a reluctant Kaz.
Gunner and Bisch senior plan infanticid. Where is Mrs. Bischoff? Women are very protective of their children. Would make a better story.
Samoa Joe and Magnus step out next to raucous applause. While under Magnus’ music, of course. And Mag’s cuts a wonderful promo proving (hopefully to Bischoff) that he is the total package. All that comes to an end when the UK heels Morgan and Crimson come to the ring to brawl which comes to an end when joe pulls Magnus from the ring before flippin the bird.
Good showing
Next we have the neglected crown jewel of TNA the X Division. And its a three way between Shelley, Williams and Champ Austin Aries in a non-title bout. This is another strong showing from all competitors where we see Douglas going to the top rope for a flying European uppercut and various outside maneuevers. It finishes when after kicking Williams in the nuts following the chaos theory on Shelley, Aries goes for the brainbuster but is out smarted with slice bread. Giving the match to Alex Shelley in a long overdue rivialry.
In the back Hulk Hogan warns Steve Borden about having a target on his back. And to look out.
But to outside where Gail is beating on Tara. The scene jumps back to Tara taking pictures of the UK, which are interrupted by champ Kim. Bringing the fight full circle. Even with fair fight from Tara the winner after throwing thro a set of doors is Gail who mockingly brags her title and name to Wonder Years.
Hogan and Bischoff Junior are up next. After a HH endorsement we have a interruption by Bischoff Sr. and Gunner. Hilarity ensues. After a brawl Hogan highhandedly beats both Gunner and Bisch Sr. before letting Jr. get a punch in on his dad. Sad. OH AND Bully Ray and Roode argue before there match.
Hardcore Country Mickie James vs Velvet Sky where we watch Mickie slowly go heel due to no title win? What comes across as a decent match ends with a miscalculation by James leading to a win for Velvet.
Even glorified strippers win over Hardcore Country 🙁
Welcome to The Main Event: or See ya in 3 days, Champ! -Bully Ray
the crowd was hot for the faces as they took the champ and ray to task. Sting eventually clears the ring after double splashing Ray/Roode in the corner. Roode eventually dropping on Ray’s manhood. The Insane Icon S Drops Roode before locking in the scorpion deathlock. Ray comes in to interfere but says the above quote with belt in hand. Roode submits as Ray looks on.
The Star Wars promos didn’t overshadow the show because besides the opening montage and Taz being Taz mentioning princess Leila? and the minute response from Tenay the show was still good all around. Here’s to the upcoming pay per view, Against All Odds and a return back to the iMPACT Zone. The ends the no vowel edition of pntnr iMPACT Review.
We start with a promo promoting Final Resolution and its outcome.
AJ Styles comes out for his 5 minute sudden death extension from Final Resolution against Bobby Roode. Because TNA could care less about PPV buys. After the initial 5 we have a second overtime. 30 seconds later we have Bobby Roode retaining after using a single Boston Crab on an already injured limb of Styles.
Next we the tag tournament that teams various people together. First we have Hernandez and Robbie T taking on Abyss and Scott Steiner. Decent match which ends when Abyss black hole slams Rob Terry and allows Steiner to make the pin.
Kurt Angle comes out to demand a rematch against James Storm. Calls out Sting who tells him that James said that he has already beaten him and is moving on to the world title picture. Angle vows to go to James hometown and attack whomever for Storm’s attention.
Tony Nese takes on Xima Ion in a best of three series for a shot at the TNA X division title. I believe the whole purpose of this match is to build up both Nese and Ion as top contenders in the X division. And for that I have no problem with that. Xima executes 3 high impact moves on Nese before finally pinning him and shooting a cocky promo to boot.
Jesse Neal takes on Gunner in what is I guess an excuse to write Neal off television after going on his twitter complaining about leaving. Message served as Gunner hits a DDT on the exposed concrete floor an assist by Flair sealed Jessie’s fate.
Jeff Hardy comes to the ring and documents his victories over Jeff and the soreness that followed.Bully Ray cuts him off before reminding him that he will not be a stepping stone for Hardy.
God… Robbie E and Douglas Williams wrestling Samoa Joe and Magnus (This all before a behind the scenes look at the too measuring each other up.) Entertaining match that really showed how well these two (Magnus and Joe) mesh. A muscle buster on Williams for the win.
EY (Eric Young) finds out that ODB is his mystery partner.
Devon calls out the Pope who comes to the ring with Devon’s kids. After a heated exchange Pope kicks Devon in the balls from behind. Terrence and Terrell join in holding their father as the Pope slaps on him.
Traci comes out dressed to stress that she is a wrestler against the Killer Queen Madison Rayne.Short like a divas match ending in the weakness kick to the head I’ve seen.
Sting calls out both Jarretts. After earlier encounters decides to fire them both.
Roode comes to the ring to specially announce while Bully Ray wrestles Jeff Hardy (who is now the #1 contender for the TNA title belt. Okay. Bully Ray is a worker and this match ends after 2 twists of fate. Later on Ray distracts Hardy in the ring and puts him through a table. Sting emerges and is beaten down.
End Impact.
Final Observation: Better than the last few weeks and Impact is slowly improving and the best part I haven’t seen Hogan since the Thursday after BFG. So here is to continuity and less Russo style matches. Since you know he is still writing the show while Pritchard oversees.
Here’s another edition of Impact Wrestling. Where tonight cowardly heels return, Garrett Bischoff shows his skills and Karen continues to screech her way onto my television screens. Lets take a look.
Back in Georgia.
Roode comes out cuts promo on crowd and on James Storm. Taking his opportunity and becoming world champion. James Storm is seen in the back trying to fight back security eventually making to the ring which causes Roode to take off. As Roode takes a heel-like run up the ramp the Stinger shows up. Steve Borden declares that there will be a world title rematch tonight. Roode looks worried.
Segment of Ronnie and Eric Young walking into the building with each carrying a belt.
side-note: Why was there a WWE commercial being played during Impact? Come on Spike get it together. And for their PPV no less.
Another segment with Dixie Carter walking with Bellator founder,
Bjorn Rebney
Back to Impact we have a Crimson/Matt Morgan promo. Looks to be decent until the match starts with Crimson versus Pope D’angelo Dinero. The crowd has little love for Crimson and a lot of love for the Pope, who has been booked into the ground these past months. (That’s what I love about a live crowd similar to Philly they are not behind Crimson but Pope is cheered) I sense a Cena-like response for him in his future.
Anyways Pope puts up some good offense hitting a devastating DDT and following it up with a fist drop and a 2nd rope fist drop. After whooping the Red one lil brother he takes to the rope again to meet the Red Sky (Down Low) Crimson for the win. The crowd did not look happy.
Gunner takes about Garrett showing respect and how he’ll learn it.
We’re back and Gunner comes out with Eric Bischoff & Ric Flair, my spider sense is detecting a DQ. Next Garrett comes down to the ring in Wife beater and Jeans no music. What begins slow with Gunner talking to Bischoff/Flair causes the crowd to jeer leading to the former security guard to take a couple of arm drags and eventually a front slam. Gunner who rolls out of the ring confused looks on as Flair runs in as Garrett flees and the match is declared a Disqualification. (I’m psychic)
I agree Spidey
So we have a backstage comedy segment with a doorman not letting Robbie and Rob Terry into see Ronnie from the Jersey Shore. Eric Young pops his head out asking if he wants a t-shirts. Eventually Ronnie comes out and a comedy spot ensues with Robbie jumping up on Big Rob in piggy back fashion. Elsewhere James Storm is found bloody in the back. He seems unresponsive.
Its time for X-division action as….. Oh my God! Little Elian Gonzalez isn’t dead.
Your guess is as good as mine
Oh wait that is Xima Ion who I almost forgot was in the division along with Nese. This could be good. Jesse Sorenson comes out for wrestle and I think maybe a tag match against Kash and Aries? No singles match so my mind goes to interference or Ion is showing how tough Sorenson is. The latter happens, better than interference. But the match is good albeit short. After missing is top rope finisher, Sorenson hit a cross roads maneuver for the win. Kash comes out sarcastically congratulating him and tells him to sign a contract for a match against Aries for the X division title. After he signs Kash clarifies that it will be a 3 way match. Kash bashes Sorenson’s mother before getting punched. Aries runs out for the double team.
Oh god not a Knockouts segment/match involving Karen and her Posse. As all the women in the back screech back and forth with the occasional loud pitched screech at Traci for causing the title to be on Velvets waist. I blame Traci too.
A knockout tag team title match with Mickie James/Velvet Sky. When I see Gail and Mickie in the same ring I think back to Botchamania.the ending is classic
Velvet takes on Rayne first and all that goes through my mind is “Bathroom Break Eminent!” Sirens blaring everywhere. After a cluster buck in which the crowd seems to care less. Which is sad because two years ago they would be some kind of response. it mercifully ends when Gail boots to the chin Velvet for the win. (special note even Earl Hebner wasn’t interested when he made the count from outside the ring)
Next its Jersey Shore vs Jersey Shore gimmick revisited.
When Robbie E and Rob Terry come out all that comes to mind is bad images of gay porn. You know who’s the power bottom. EY and Ronnie come out, with Eric doing his best Grizzly Redwood impression. Ronnie pins Robbie and Young ends up in a leopard print undies. And the gay porn images persist.
This is to make up for last week, because I'm anything but Biased
Back in the commissary, 3 punks eat until the Barrio 4 walk in stealing peoples lunches. Fight breaks out with factions??? leading into of course Turning Point. I like Pritchard’s use of minimalism when it comes to who is on the program when it pertains to PPV’s. Personally I would rather see a Sarita versus Toxxin match instead with the Knockout title on the line, but I dream too much like MLK.dream on
The founder of Bellator comes out on commentary and commences to talk up the product similar to an infomercial while Christopher Daniels and AJ Styles finish their feud before there respective new feuds come Sunday. Good solid match with Daniels going for a screwdriver. Rob comes out and steals it away, leading to AJ finishing Daniels with a Stylez Clash.Oh and “Thanks for the Bellator moment during it”
Six man Tag match with the Founder, a Bully and Steiner Brother taking on a reformed addict, an asshole and mystery????, after commercial break we have an answer. Its the monster Abyss. After a decent match Abyss hit Steiner with a black hole slam for the win.
Roode comes out for the main event. Commercial break. We’re back as James Storm’s music plays. No one shows. Theme song comes again. Slowly Storm comes out still covered in blood. He rushes the ring and puts the hurt to Roode before collapsing. After chants from the crowd to “Get up Cowboy” The Doctor comes out to get him to the back. Roode offers to assist. When he finds out that the match wasn’t ended he rolls up Storm for the three before Fortune hits the ring. Sting walks past Roode into the ring. AJ gets a microphone and challenges Roode at Turning Point. Sting makes it official.
Welcome to a late edition of Impact review. Pintnoir always comes to Impacts rescue today we come from Macon, Georgia.
Look Ma, I can use google to find Macon rhymes with bacon, Georgia
James Storm cuts a promo about how The South is full of respectful people
where everyone is treated with respect and understanding.
who treat everyone equally and use manners and how if any one disrespects the good ole USA they’re going to get their butts kicked. He calls out Roode. Together the tag partners schmooze about Beer Money giving each other compliments about how there career wouldn’t be where it was if it wasn’t for tagging together. They promise to steal the show.
Sad but true
So what do you get when you have a pair of lipstick lesbians, a bitter defector, a shrieking harpy, and a good digger?
Give up? its the knockout Tag Team match featuring T_N_T (Tara & Tessmacher) versus Gail Kim & Madison Rayne w/ Knockout Law Karen Jarrett followed by Chyna’s little sister Traci Brooks.
Who loves to watch Shite? I do!!!
Long story short after interference from Karen, and a sneak attack by Gail on Tara we have new Knockout Tag Team champions?!?! They were defended so well these past…weeks.
Garrett Bischoff cuts a promo. Is he planning on offering an apology to his egotistical father? We’ll find out.
Garrett comes out and gives a sincere apology with just a hint of snide sprinkled in just before he begins to beat the tar off his gray haired papa. While fun it comes to an end when Flair and Gunner run out for the save.
Later Bischoff finds Sting telling him that the stinger can rewrite his iron clad contract any way he likes if he can deliver Garrett in the ring for an opponent of Eric’s choosing. (They effectively explain that Bischoff and Hogan have contracts that allow them to stay on Impact no matter the outcome of the BFG match) Sting thinks it over.
Christopher Daniels is seen next talking about his greatness and how he didn’t use a screwdriver on RVD “it isn’t my fault if the ring crew forget their tools.” This is all right before RVD shows up behind him to beat on him. Daniels, after taking an extended beating runs away only for Rob to proclaim “see you at Turning Point.”
Austin Aries vs Jesse Sorenson (again) in a non title match, so who is going to win this one? (I dunno) with special condescending commentary from Kid Kash. I love Kash and hearing him rip into Sorenson for not respecting the vets while at the same time telling everyone he was the best X division champion in history. Sorenson reverses a brainbuster into a small package for the win. Afterwards Aries and Kash diss the rookie right before Kash asks Aries if he should get his knife. Classic.
Robbie E and Rob Terry get ready for their showdown with (sigh) Ronnie of the Jersey Shore and Eric Young (sigh) Television Champion. This is an asinine challenge considering EY has had the belt for god knows how long and is finally defending against an opponent who should not be there. Ronnie comes out and gets dissed right before he spears Robbie E leading to Terry beating on both Ronnie and EY. Afterwords EY challenges the two Robs to a tag match next week. (Later on tonight in Macon, Georgia time)
Immortal’s music hits and were treated to Bully Ray/Jeff Jarrett vs Jeff Hardy/Mr. Anderson in a tag match decent match that ends a disqualification when Steiner comes to the ring to interrupt a double Kenton/Swanton bomb attempt on the two heels. Later a beat down commences.
Garrett and Sting meet and talk about the challenge sent by his father after Sting rethinks it Garrett accepts and tells him to go along with his dad’s demands. Promo showing the Roode vs Storm match that so sets up a heel turn its not even funny.
Crimson gets called out by Matt Morgan who issues a challenge. Morgan goes on about how he’s the best 7 footer in the business. I guess he hasn’t heard of the Undertaker. Crimson accepts and we have a match… At Turning Point.
Roode vs Storm for the TNA World Title. After a lengthy bout and a ref bump which results in Roode telegraphing his heel turn by staring at James Storm’s beer bottle for 30 seconds hits him from the outside and rolls in for the pin and is proclaimed champion in front of a booing Georgia crowd. He ends the show with his foot on the former champion.
Here is another rousing edition of Pintnoir’s Impact Wrestling Review. We’re a little over 10 days away from Bobby Roode vs Kurt Angle at Bound for Glory. Beer Money comes to the ring to tell the fans in Knoxville, TN (Yes in a actual arena!) that they will get a show tonight that neither man will bring nothing less than 100%, which Roode makes Storm promise is exactly what is going to be done. Here’s to another actual good closing match.
Promo: Sting see’s a wall picture of a clown and kicks into joker mode. (God, I hope after BFG, the insane icon goes back to being just “the icon”)
If only we could.
Gunner comes out to the ring to face Kazarian after his attack on him last week. A decent match which ends in Gunner putting Kaz in the hospital with an arm bar submission maneuver. Essential Gunner wins the match but since he wouldn’t release the hold the victory went to Kaz.
Anderson comes out to shoot an in ring promo about how his “assholes” have his back. This talk prompts Bully Ray to come out and in typical heel fashion leads to Ray saying that he has beaten Anderson enough and will not give him another chance. Anderson entices Ray like a dog being given a treat with the prospect of a falls counts anywhere match. Game on.
A shout out to Community and Anderson's fanbase
“Let the Pigeon’s loose!” A knockout tag team match is coming up. Bischoff comments on Hulk Hogan’s retirement. Kendrick babbles on while Kid Kash walks behind and decides to kick his ass because he mentioned his name.
why does he beat on little people? Because he can.
The Pigeons are on their mark...and getting ready
Mickie James/Velvet Sky vs Winter (c)/Madison Rayne w/Angelina Love…take on the Sitas and you would have bulk of the entire knockout roster.
Match is decent when its going. In heelish fashion Angelina interferes not once but twice and on the second try almost costs Winter the match only for Madison to roll in and pin Velvet while holding the trunks. *sidebar* when is this whole roll-up pin from a smaller wrestler on a larger wrestler going to stop being taken a gospel with the knockouts, it really is just embarrassing.
Kurt Angle and Eric Bischoff are in the back talking about the screw-up Jeff Hardy and how Angle stepping out again to tell him to leave. Eric tells Angle that he’ll handle it. Cut to the ring Eric calls out Jeff. He calls him on coming out pilled out of his gourd at Victory Road tells him to get gone, in which Hardy responds with a twist o’ fate and a screw you before running into the crowd. Ah, have to love redemption.
Samoa Joe vs Crimson. Again. What starts as a pretty decent match with Joe dominating and Crimson getting the occasional offense leads to Joe putting Crimson in a modified ankle lock. Which Crimson reverses into a roll up pin. Crimson’s streak continues and Joe is fuming.
Another Bobby Roode highlight promo where they talk to his mother this time about how he always wanted to be champion. It was good seeing his team Canada days with Scott D’Amore. Here’s to Roode winning. But first he still has to face Storm.
Roode vs Storm, a good back and forth with each wrestler scouting the other. Even having a stare off right before a commercial interrupts. (damn commercials with their making money and all.) Superplexes, top rope neckbreakers a missed Last Call from Storm eventually lead to a ref bump with caused Roode to be laid out and Storm on the outside which caused Angle to run in and throw Storm head first into the ring steps, then rolling him into the ring. Roode goes for the pin only getting a two count. This is before he pulls off the Fishermen suplex for the win.
Hogan’s retirement was its usual cheese that he used over in Vince’s country only this time with a swerve when Sting comes to the ring all crack jokered out and shows footage of Hogan dissing the fans and admitting to snowballing them into buying merchandise and ducking Sting. Hogan is so mad that he challenges Sting not to a match but to a fight with the company on the line. Which of course Hogan regrets.
It starts with Kurt Angle calling out Crimson who is now wearing a knee brace. Angle compliments Crimson for his courage for standing up for him but then insults him. Promises to end his career. Heel turns always make sense in TNA. Yeah the jobber squad oh I mean Immortal come out for the weekly promo. Bully Ray proceeds to <suck> Kurt Angle’s ego with his accomplishments. Kurt tells them no interference on the part of Immortal and especially from Jeff Jarrett. <Mexican endorses Jarrett?> And a promo backstage from Jackie, ODB and Velvet they’re working together in a match against Angelina, Winter and Madison Rayne. Do I see a swerve coming on the part of ODB? Yes I do.
Only in the Russoverse
Eric B. Hogan and Flair talk about the craziness that is the joke…er Sting. I can’t wait for Bound for Glory.
He could so sue. Why so nervous Sting
So yeah I was wrong it was Sarita and Rosita. Anywho.
five minutes later and I am still screaming what the —– It was like watching some surreal dream where everyone knew how to wrestle except the one who scored the pin. Velvet appears to be struggling to look relevant surrounded by vets and better experienced wrestlers. So instead of a double cross swerve we are treated to a face turn from Jackie and ODB, who double team suplex Angelina and drag Velvet over for the win.
nuff said
The X division. We have Kid Kash coming out to face Jesse Sorensen. In the beginning of an obvious feud. So the bad boy of the original X division is now going to be jobbing out to the varsity wrestler? We will have to wait and see. So after holding the tights of Sorensen he heelishly wins. After a wonderful heel promo we have personality. I like. By putting in Aries and Kash they have brought in wonderful talents who can work a crowd. So waiting to see these guys in a live event again.
Bound for Glory series. Love the vignettes of the house shows. Crimson, Bully Ray Bobby Roode tied for 2nd, James Storm and Gunner round out the top four.
the Pope vs RvD, the crowd is behind Rob. Oh do I miss the days when Pope would have brought the house down. what a difference a feud makes. First Samoa now this inane drama with Devon’s family. Watching Pope get beat on is as enjoyable as watching Lavar Burton getting whipped in Roots.<its okay I’m black> And surprising like Akunta Kinta he taps out and agrees to be called Toby. Rob Van Dam beats Pope with a surfboard. RvD is now tied with Gunner for fourth. OH here comes sore loser Samoa Joe. Devon take his sweet time walking out to slowly scare away Joe. Can’t wait for the Pope vs Devon match that is so coming for Bound for Glory. <sarcasm>
Even after all he sacrificed Levar shakes his head as the Pope has set us back 400 years.
Robbie E. and Rob Terry have a promo were he asked him to be his bodyguard. Immortal backstage working out there arms and have a semi comic unscripted confrontation. Rosita and Sarita jump Love until Winter shows up and chokes out Rosita Hogan and Flair waddle out the ring.
Traci Brooks and a Eric B promo, who is trying <sarcasm> his hardest not to look down her shirt.
The two stooges come out to call out Sting. Its akin to watching Grumpy Old Men 3: The wrestling Years. Well they call out the Clown Prince of wrestling.
Flair says tit and I think yeah, family show. So watching these men quack enough crazy to make the Robert Young Clinic call for more beds. And its official Sting vs Hogan at BFG.
If you’re over 50, yeah get a crazy gimmick. Good to Know.
Thank God A.J. Styles, I have never been so happy to see a redneck in my life. He calls out Daniels. Can we say sore loser. Can he never give up is he like the Vegeta to A.J’s Goku? Of course inquiring minds want to know. Daniels questions does he have what it takes to be in TNA? The fallen Angel is crying and the crowd boos and shouts the Brisco Brothers infamous “man-up” Pity something this audience could care less about. After Days of our Lives we now return to
yep had the same reaction when Daniels was crying.
Immortal versus Fortune….a special BFG event. No rules. Gunner, Steiner and Ray come out only to get attacked by Storm, Styles and Roode, can we say brawl. After a series of spots, Ray pins A.J Styles for the win. Bully Ray picks up 7 points.
Mr Anderson shows up in a hummer. And comes to the ring. takes out Steiner and Gunner, Ray and Abyss wonder to the back in confusion.
Mickie James is angry, and can’t get into words what the hell Russo’s booking has caused her. Because evil lesbian witches are not cool. And neither is the TV title being worn by Young who is on the hunt for D lister Scott Baio. <God> Young pins Baio after jumping from a tree for the three. Next.
Crimson vs Angle.
This match was decent, it does include Angle who could have a match with a corpse and make it believable. But just when we might have a decision Samoa Joe comes to attack Crimson after a mini beat down Crimson comes back and clears the ring of Joe, since Angle left a minute ago.
Will Tracy become the knockout Law? Will Mickie beat Winter? Will Daniels finally overcome A.J tune in next week and see. In a post match segment Joe beats and cripples Crimson.
Here is to next week in front of hopeful a live crowd.
