It’s Thursday, and that means it’s time for Impact Wrestling! But not just any episode, no. This one will feature footage and matches from the BaseBrawl event held in Buffalo on June 18th in which Bored Wrestling Fan founder ThinkSoJoE was present for. You can check out his breakdown here, and I’ll do my best to keep a look out for him as I delve into this episode. With the preamble out of the way, let’s hop to it, shall we?
After a break from the Thursday product, I’m back to review another episode of Impact Wrestling. I won’t lie to you, I’m a wee bit tired having stayed up late watching a bunch of idiots in Vancouver riot after the Boston Bruins won game 7 to capture the Stanley Cup. As a hockey fan, and a possibly former supporter of the Canucks, it’s embarrassing. So before I get to reviewing the show, I want to let any non-hockey fan out there know that this is not a normal activity or outcome… albeit some argue that the riots were going to happen regardless of who won that game.
Wrong show… the Saint’s do no go marching in… just the SWAT.
It’s the fallout (New Vegas?) from the Slammiversary IX PPV last Sunday are more or less smarks the 9th anniversary of the TNA/Impact Wrestling’s debut on June 19, 2003. Coincidentally enough, my birthday it that day. Check out Pintnoir’s fantastic review of the event here. Pintnoir covered Impact for the last two weeks and will be resurfacing on Friday for Smackdown! Be sure to check back for all things wrestling on the other blue show.
Now, onto the wrestling! I hope!
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Welcome again to another wonderful Pintnoir Impact review. No declaration of struggling to watch the show, just plain old ‘noir coming to terms with this new direction good and bad.
Bad- Bischoff and Hogan come to the ring, cocky as always as they proclaim that iMPACT Wrestling is now back in better hands minus a “Network Stooge” calling the shots. Bischoff promises to better represent the X Division (sarcasm seeps from his every pore) They then proceed to call out the number one contender, Mr Anderson proceeded by the TNA champion Sting.
Hogan reminds the fans that “Wrestling Matters”. He also promises no run ins or interference on the part of anyone. Do I smell a swerve?
Anderson digs into Sting, that everything he stands for is a joke.
Sting rebuttals that the only thing standing between the complete corruption of TNA is him as champion. Borden (Sting) pleads with Hogan to change his evil ways and cut away the cancer that is Eric Bischoff.
Sting walks away.
Coming up next is the announcement for the Knockout Tag. Tara/Mickie vs Winter/Love
Let this match begin- Tara controls the early minutes of the match with Winter. Then tags in James who still keeps the good T.T Lesbian under wraps. Winter finally tags in Xxxombie Love, who puts the hurt on Mickie. Funny side note* Taz mentions that the reason Angelina doesn’t have a lot more in her moveset is because she is a Zombie.
Eventually Madison comes down to the ring and pulls down Tara. This distraction leads to Angelina getting the DDT/Lung-blower finisher on Mickie for the 3 count. Afterwards Love punishes Mickie with a Sleeper while Winter looks on.
Mexican America Promo: Hernandez mumbles, Anarquia talks like a helium Chavo. Nothing is accomplished. Other than getting on my nerves.
Card for the main event tonight: EY/Sting vs Gunner/Anderson
-British Invasion on commentary?!
Mexican America vs Gun Money/Beer Guns.
Taz during commentary points out the poor record of British Invasion, Magnus is not amused.
Shelley and Anarquia start out the match. After a series of moves Storm is tagged in setting up what looks like the Guns kick in the face double team with instead is turned into a finger poke. Hernandez charges Shelley with a shoulder tackle, which in Hernandez’s hands could cause injury. Shelley dives on Hernandez on the outside. The Sitas jump up on the apron getting the ref’s attention as Storm has Anarquia pinned. Storm spits beer in there face. Turns around just in time for Anarquia to duck a super kick by Shelley into Storm’s face. Shelley out of the ring. MA gets the victory, to the displeasure of Roode.
Promo: Gunner and Anderson talk about taking out Sting.
Followed by a wrestling matters promo. I really convinced that management enjoys shoving this down our throats.
Mexican America confronts Hogan in his office, asking for a title shot since they beat Gun Mone/Beer Guns. Things get ugly when Lil Chavo accuses Hogan of being a racist. HH takes offense to being called a racist so he instead provokes sexual harassment against Sarita/Rosita. ( I don’t blame him, I’d do it too) Which causes Helium and Blackhole of Charisma to tell Hogan to watch his back.
Promo for Jarrett vs Angle finally match. Thank God.
Quickly followed by a Jarrett promo were he calls out Angle and lays out there history. How he brought in Angle, wasn’t given respect and he believes Angle is trying to erase his memory from TNA. He brags about taking away everything Angle holds dear, from his wife and kids to finally on Sunday his gold medal.
Angle retorts that he wants to thank Jeff for getting Karen out of his life. He promises to destroy Jarrett in the ring.
ODB promo talking trash about velvet sky and her nasty ways. Right before slapping her own breast.
Velvet Sky vs ODB later tonight
Ad for Bully Ray’s Open Challenge
Promo: Kendrick/Kazarian w/Janice are looking for Abyss.
Bully Ray comes to the ring, he starts to bully Hemme out of the ring while also insulting her Playboy cover. He challenges any single competitor to come out and face him. Except Devon.
What do we get? Rob Van Dam!@
To start Bully Ray sneaks up on RVD to do a modified powerbomb from the corner. Ray pretty much controls the match throughout with the occasional comeback from RVD. Out comes AJ. When Ray notices Styles while in the mist of a piledriver is countered. Van Dam is able to pull off a five star frog splash for the win.
Velvet Sky does her own shoot on ODB. Is really disgusted by her implants and patting of her “area” as she puts it “there’s a cream for it” Not to lose topic but didn’t Sky also have a boob job?
Anywho, Angle was in England talking about his 2012 Olympic qualification. Even at 43 he plans on entering. I wish him luck.
Kendrick/Kaz run into Abyss in the back who spouts philosophy about Sun Tzu. And proclaims the X division dead (again) and he’s renamed the belt the Xtreme title? (whatever, TNA with your multiple named belts) He challenges them to a 3way at Slammiversary. *yeah so saw that coming last week.* Kazarian calls the Sun Tzu babbling Abyss an idiot while Kendrick tries to convince Frankie (Kaz’s first name) about the dangers of not winning the belt on Sunday.
ODB vs Velvet Sky- ODB comes out to no theme music since she is not signed to a contract. *Which by the way is funny considering she is having a match with you know a ref and all* Velvet gets the upper hand with a sneak attack (because obviously she knows she can’t win) And has control until the dirty one throws her into some steel stairs. After that it turns into a brawl with ODB dominating. Until while choking Sky and taunting her Velvet pulls out an impact ddt for the win. (against a competitor who is not on contract?) Lawsuit?
Pointless promo for Pope vs Devon, showing footage from Xplosion where D is being ambushed by Mexican America and Pope makes the save.
Main Event Time
Sting/Eric Young vs Anderson/Gunner- The match starts off with Anderson vs Sting before Anderson tags in Gunner, after some back and forth and two stinger splashes to the back of Gunner, Ken clotheslines Sting from behind. Anderson is tagged in. He stomps a mud hole into Sting. An Irish into the corner from Anderson which counters into an explosive clothesline later, EY is tagged where he proceeds to clean house. Fakes out Anderson with a Great Muta Mist spit but then while distracted is knock into Sting (which some how counts as a tag) Which allows Gunner to put away Sting with an F5. After the match Sting is angry and shoves down EY.
Reaction Bonus: Young chasing down Sting who tells him to stop being a comedy act.
AJ shoots a promo on Ray about getting in his head. Which causes the Bully to confront him to only be separated by security or as I call him Simon Diamond.
Sting grabs some war paint to chase down Anderson. Beating him up in a trailer and smears red paint all over his face before choking him out for all to see. Sting is vicious.
Fade out.
Sorry no gifs tonight.
Last week, wrestling mattered. Or so we were told. Did it? Are you sure? I’m not convinced. While I liked the facelift of the iMPACT zone… Then sadly, the next day we found out that Randy Savage had tragically passed away. He will be missed. I don’t know if iMPACT matters, but there is no doubt that to wrestling, Savage mattered. They taped this episode last week, so I am unsure if there will be much mention of the Madness’ legacy although he appeared there briefly in 2004. I’m more interested in tonight, to see if they do anything about that. (more…)
Last Sunday’s PPV, Sacrifice, merited little results of significance… except that Chyna might be back for more and Brayden Walker stole Matt Hardy’s fat gimmick. You can read more about the PPV at Pintnoir’s recap here. Pretty good review!
However, this week on the newly branded “iMPACT Wrestling,” where apparently wrestling matters, we will be treated to a new look iMPACT zone. As a result, the former TNA has made an effort to make the place look snazzy and showcase the change. Sure, this should have been done for the PPV, but realistically their buyrates have been so poor as of late, I’d imagine they didn’t bat an eyelash at the concept of rebranding the building in time.
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The news has been hitting the fan for weeks and now it was finally confirmed on May 12th. TNA is now Impact Wrestling. Watching the event unfold before my eyes as The Network, Mick Foley proclaimed “Impact is wrestling” telling Hogan and his cohorts that the politics have ended. I smiled as I thought of a happier time in TNA history. The year was 2006, as I was streaming through all the on demand selections skimming the porn and sport selections, I was stopped in my tracks by a wrestling event called TNA: No Surrender. What could this be? And better yet how much would this cost?
Well folks for $24.99, I watched a company impress. Jackass antics aside TNA gave me some intriguing matches. LAX w/ Konnan vs AJ Styles/Christopher Daniels, Senshi vs Chris Sabin and the wrestler who left a impressive mark…Eric Young. Wearing his white tights with a censorship bar over the word “Fire”. It would continue to impress next month when I watched Bound for Glory. Eric Young was there so was Daniels/AJ, LAX and the match of the night Chris Sabin vs Senshi. A four star match that left both men forever immortalized in my brain.
I became a fanatic. I bought “The Best of the X Division” 2 pack, watched TNA Impact on Spike, where Christian was speared through a steel cage by Rhyno. Mouth dropped as I watched the end of a feud that left Christian victorious albeit Rhyno was avenged. Then after a year I went away every once in a while I’d stop in to see how the program was progressing. And then 2010 happened and I see Hogan on my screen in a four sided ring telling the audience that big changes are about to unfold. I was unimpressed. All I saw was old dudes (ea friends of Hogan collecting a paycheck) I lost faith and didn’t look back for about six months or so. When I returned all was the same except some of the old dudes remained. Namely Hogan and a Silver haired Bischoff. Now TNA had become WCW: 2010 with endless promos to open the show followed by two minute matches then right behind that would be more promos and another five minute match. The endless cycle was monotonous. That is also when I became a devotee to the Internet Wrestling Community. Reading how much folks would argue with one another over what was the definition of TNA or how whether or not the veterans were either hurting or bettering the product was astonishing. I didn’t know how to respond, depending on what site you’re on it could be the difference from being called a troll or mark. People attitudes were as intense as the old comic book argument of who was faster Superman or the Flash.
Now here we are in May, TNA has decided to push wrestling over promos. What went through my head was all the talent that are on the roster and all the epic matches and smaller lead ins using the reaction cam could bring to the overall product. Taking the best of 2002-2009 and mixing it with what was decent or innovative about 2010-2011(so far).
Here’s where my wrestling theory kicks in.
After Sacrifice and Slammiversary, iMPACT Wrestling should start building up the future while deconstructing the past year and change. First should come the end of Immortal. Not right away but with Hogan’s power null in void we can watch as the group slowly implodes. Leading to either Hogan or Flair taking on Impact caretaker Sting. In a loser leaves Impact Wrestling at Bound for Glory.
That is the end result of Bischoff/ Hogan regime, but before that in the three months leading up to that landmark moment we should see the X division wrestlers get their revenge on Bischoff. July 10th is Destination X. We should see the division rise from the ashes like a phoenix. Led in part by Max Buck and Brian Kendrick, who documented performance in the ring and outside of it has shown that they could definitely steer the course of the next generation of talent. This of course could allow Kaz to get back into heel territory were he does his best work.
Kaz as a man surrounded, relentlessly holding on to the X gold . Kendrick, The Bucks, Sangrieto and Suicide all jockeying for his title. By giving these characters personalities the fans will care. Bring in Traci Brooks as his right hand woman snagging him victories against them. Use the Reaction Cam in short (and by short i mean two to three minutes) explaining their reasons for participating in the X division using each wrestlers personality to showcase how they differ from each other. This would add to the importance of the belt. More could be added with the World X Cup. More on that on another article. This of course is a small sample of the thoughts running through my mind. But then it jumped to Orlando Jordan.
Orlando Jordan. Yes, that Orlando Jordan. When he first debuted he represented someone different than the stereotypical “black” wrestler, he wasn’t a gang banger,pimp or extremist militant. He was instead a bi-sexual male who wanted to wrestler and be accepted by his peers. At first he was entertaining and then became a joke of epic proportions. With his brain damaged partner/lover? Eric Young he has become one half of a dreaded jobber team. There for simple entertainment. Nothing much else. I’m more offended by this then by John Cena’s playful middle school comments. Here is someone who came in with an original idea for a wrestler and has been given squat. Instead what they should do is put him in singles territory with a female valet. What has So Cal Val been up to in the past two plus years? Secondly have Bully Ray make Orlando Jordan’s life miserable which leads to a feud for acceptance. The simplest promoter could conceive this.
And then it touched on Eric Young. Again. Here is a man who when presented with a gimmick he takes it and runs with it. No matter how asinine. He is a good little soldier and follows orders. But where has that positioned him? Earlier in 2009-2010 he was being pushed as a leader. A heel leader in charge of World Elite. You couldn’t help but think of a man who would of brought great feuds to the forefront. Especially against former tag partner Robert Roode. Then he fell off the turnbuckle onto the floor below and now we have “Idiot Savant” Eric Young. The dream had been crushed. Where can he go from here? Simple. Last Thursday, Eric Young stole Gunner’s Television title. I could see a swift kick in the head would straighten Eric out to fight for the former Global title. Maybe even a three way between him, Gunner and Daniels. The thoughts ceased for a bit.
What was presented was this somewhat garbled article that I hope to continue in a serial format. Giving you sneak peeks into my brain in regards to the Television, tag team and World title picture. Even the Knockouts brought something to mind. But for now I better slow down before I have a novella on my hands.
Part 2 should be on its way soon.
Time to watch the little promotion in Florida that couldn’t, right?
The build to TNA Sacrifice continues… or so I’m told. I’m not sure how many people order the PPV’s, after all. Nonetheless, this is the first taped episode since we saw Obama use Hogan’s Real American theme song on Saturday’s event, and the declaration that Osama is dead. Theoretically, TNA iMPACT has lots of news worthy stuff they can use to stroke Hogan’s ego. I hear they are also no longer called TNA either…. or so they say… let’s find out, shall we?
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Hockey Night in Canada! Playoffs round 2!! Just paused and started recording the Vancouver Canucks versus the Nashville Predators to “watch” iMPACT. Had to catch Coach’s Corner first.
Don Cherry is kind of like the the Ric Flair of professional. He’s been around forever, and when you hand him a microphone, he can shoot out promos like no other.
I worked a bunch over the last while and am tired. Also, some scathing things about TNA’s handling of their talent’s health and wellness has bounced around the interweb dirtsheets that have me pissed off at the company. At this point, I don’t think I could convince any other contributor to our site to fill in.
So you are getting Angry Man G, Disinterested Man G (NHL playoffs!), and Tired Man G… which combined as a mathematical addition problem, equals “FFW Through Everything G…. with a slight chance of Barkley Man G.”
Here goes… I guess…
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We’re hot off the heels of last Sunday’s Lockdown PPV, one that featured some decent matches (and Kurt Angle almost killing himself, again). What will Wayne Arnold and the crew serve up tonight?
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