Tag Archive: Hypocrites

  1. Impact- A Pintnoir Review

    3 Comments

    Welcome back to Knoxville, Tennessee! Home to Impact tonight.

    We start the show off with a Kurt Angle Promo, he proceeds to call out Roode and  brags about how he will remain the champion. Amidst the boos from Knoxville. Kurt Angle goes to leave but before he completely leaves the ramp he issues another challenge to Roode, he has put him in a handicap match against the owner Jeff Jarrett and Gunner.

    We cut backstage where Jerry Lynn, RVD, AJ Styles and Christopher Daniels are fighting. Each against their perspective Bound For Glory opponent.

    After commercial we shoot back to Daniels and Lynn beating Styles on their way to the ring. Once inside the double team beating continues until a late RVD comes for the assist. Once the match is underway it becomes a back and forth with Styles flipping outside the ring on Daniels and Lynn. Eventually leading to a styles clash to Daniels which he counters and in turn leads to Lynn getting clashed while Daniel walks back up the ramp. With an irate Styles looking on.

    Next up Samoa Joe takes on Matt Morgan. He we watch as the Samoan submission machine goes from face to heel even deeper as he goes blow for blow with Morgan only to lose in the closing moments. (as far as how he lost my computer froze, so I’ll will guess in an embarrassing fashion) Joe snaps and puts Morgan in a modified ankle lock. Just when you thought you could predict the outcome, you do and Crimson comes out to save the day. Another ramp match announcement. This time it is for BFG, a triple threat match.

    Yeah a Mexican America promo! I love this almost weekly occurrence of stereotypes. The proceed to call out Ink Inc. The usual high school banter begins on both sides about MA being hypocrites because they’re from this country. Hernandez and co don’t how to respond seeing as how minus Sarah Stock aka Sarita (who is Canadian) they attack. Usual ruckus happens with all four jumping them with Sarita in her glam face mask delivers some slaps until a ray of sunshine descends down the ramp. Christina Von Eerie! Cleaning house. Until she bumps into Hernandez who her real life boyfriend Jesse Neal takes out. Jesse ends with ” Bring all the women you want, we got ours!”

    An X division tag match between the heels Austin Aries (c) and Kid Kash vs Brian Kendrick and Jesse Sorenson. A decent match with the obligatory heel turning on each other, leading to Aries going for his belt to use on Kendrick who ducks and applies sliced bread on Aries who land face first on the belt. Win for Kendrick/Sorenson.

    Karen walks backstage with Traci by her side looking hateful. Its good to know someone is having a good time, you know with Karen all smiles.

    Obviously the knockout segment is next. Velvet, Mickie, Winter and Angelina Love come out to what I assume was some kind of tag match, similar to Vinnie Mac’s biz, but shortly after out comes Karen, Traci and (ugh) Madison Rayne kicking ass as only she can. Between Rayne’s screeching ass kissing and Karen blatantly expressing how we all feel about the current Knockout division, that no one cares. She describes having to fight to put them on the card because no one wanted them. Then she verbally assaults Velvet before being shoved Vel and tripped by Traci leading to an all out knockouts cat fight. Wow how we have devolved.

    This is the best representation of the current Division

    Bully Ray talks about how Anderson better not make him made since he is the special enforcer for his match against Steiner.

    AJ talks about how his and Daniels family aren’t speaking to each other leading to their I Quit match. Daniels comes from behind and attacks AJ choking him out with a camera cord?

    Bully Ray /Steiner come out followed by Mr Anderson. Match is usual Immortal match with interference from Ray and eventually Abyss how clocks Steiner with a chain in full view of the ref  Anderson knocks down Abyss getting the pin on Steiner. Afterwards comes the Immortal beat down on Abyss with almost every available member before Anderson comes back only to get Bubba Bombed onto a table.

    Angle backstage taunting Storm accusing Roode of knowing he was interfering in his match and pinned Storm anyway. Storm looks conflicted after he throws out Angle.

    Updated BFG card is shown along with the ascension of Roode who a hardworking wrestler, when four years ago he was a rich tycoon similar to JBL but I digress. This is TNA where Velvet is a face and has had no previous attempts at the knockout title when she had like three when she was a heel. And she really believes she was a victim? But again back to Roode rich much? (Sorry for the rant it was bothering me)

    hey if she can have a double so could Velvet. but likely not.

    Roode beats Gunner with the Crossface while Jarrett wallows on the floor with Karen looking on. Afterwards (sigh) Immortal comes to the ring. Storm attempts to help until he is over whelmed. Then the former prodigal son Hardy cleans house giving Jarrett the twist of fate.

    Jarrett yells at Hardy to leave and never come back or step foot in Philadelphia. Hardy says he’s buying his ticket.

    Hogan and Joker-Sting come out to sign the contract. Hogan refuses to sign first. but eventually signs. Bischoff comes out to say he wants revenge for Sting touching him only for Hogan to bash Sting in the back with a chair. The show closes with Hogan foot on Stings throat.

    here comes the smoke and mirrors

    Here comes BFG, hopefully this means the end of Immortal and the a Bobby Roode title run.

  2. RAW results, 9/28/09

    Leave a Comment

    RAW is in the capital city of mine and JT’s home state, Albany, NY.

    We’re kicking things off with the VIP Lounge with your host MVP, and his tag team partner, The World’s Strongest Man, Mark Henry. That means, big things poppin’, little things stoppin’. Whatever that means. MVP gets ready to introduce tonight’s guest host…

    WELLL… BREAK THE WALLS DOWN!

    The World Tag Team Champions are here, and the VIP Lounge security doesn’t stop them. Jericho says shame on MVP for giving an introduction like that to a man like Reverent Al Sharpton. He shouldn’t call him a guest host. He should call him the greatest civil rights leader of all time. MVP and Jericho go back and forth over Sharpton’s accolades. MVP goes for the introduction again, but Jericho steals his thunder.

    Reverend Al Sharpton comes to the VIP Lounge to “Living In America.” He says it’s the most elaborate introduction he’s ever gotten in his life – and the fans boo. He says it’s a tough crowd, and that tomorrow in Philadelphia, he’ll be embarking on a tour to promote education reform. MVP says we need reform on RAW in the form of the Unified Tag Team Champions. He suggests that Mark Henry and himself should face Beauty And The Beast, JeriShow, here tonight. Sharpton asks Jericho what he thinks. Jericho says he’s surrounded by hypocrites and parasites, liars and people with no morals. Jericho says they can’t have another match tonight because they’re already competing against John Cena in a gauntlet match, and they’ve already beaten MVP and Mark Henry. Jericho says the people don’t deserve to be educated, because they’re too far gone already. They shouldn’t have the right to vote and their opinions do not matter. Sharpton says everybody deserves and opportunity. He asks the fans if they want to see a championship match tonight. The fans cheer, and Sharpton says that we’re going to have a championship match, next! Jericho says it’s discrimination.

    <COMMERCIAL BREAK>

    Chris Jericho & The Big Show def. MVP & Mark Henry

    This must be some new record for RAW – we’ve got a match just 13 minutes into the show!  I can’t honestly remember when the last time that happened was, though I’m sure there was probably one recently that I’m forgetting.  In the end, despite the momentum built up by MVP, Jericho managed to hit the CodeBreaker for the victory!

    <COMMERCIAL BREAK>

    Primo says that Reverend Sharpton is an inspiration to all minorities.  Hornswoggle runs in, being chased by Chavo, who calms things down and introduces himself and his partner, Chris Masters.  Santino comes in and calls Chavo and Masters the Geico Cavemen.  He then confuses Sharpton with Don King and Issac Hayes.  Sharpton tells Primo he’s not sure what he’s gotten himself into.  Primo says it gets a little loco around here, and welcomes him to Monday Night RAW.

    Josh Matthews is standing by with Randy Orton.  Orton says that Cena doesn’t stand a chance to survive tonight, let alone compete.  Then he goes on the usual spiel about having been in a Hell In A Cell match before and he says he’ll win the WWE Championship.

    Alicia Fox and Rosa Mendez are walking backstage.  I was hoping they were walking towards the exit, but The King says we’ve got Diva action, NEXT!

    <COMMERCIAL BREAK>

    Ugh.  I don’t even feel like covering the entrances for this match, let alone the match.  Let’s just get this over with.

    Mickie James def. Rosa Mendez

    The Carolina Panthers scored a touchdown and are up 7-0 over the Cowboys during this match.  Mickie won.  That’s all I know.

    <COMMERCIAL BREAK>

    We get a glimpse of a Hell In A Cell hanging above the ring for no apparent reason.  Hey look, Legacy are here!

    DiBiase says that they get it.  Nobody expects them to win on Sunday.  Nobody expects them to beat DX in the Cell.  But you should, because of what they’ve done to them over the past few weeks.  For those with short attention spans, Legacy have put together a video for you.  I got a phone call and missed a bunch of what Legacy said, but HBK said they were boring.  DX is up in the stands and making fun of them.  Legacy get mad and DX make fun of them some more.  Cody interrupts, and HBK interrupts Cody to tell him that Triple H wasn’t finished.  Essentially it comes down to, “why wait ’til Sunday?”  DX head down the stairs and to the ring.  Legacy bail, and Triple H says there’s no hiding on Sunday and that for Legacy, it’s going to be pure Hell.

    <COMMERCIAL BREAK>

    The All American American Jack Swagger has a flag on his belt.  That’s because it’s the United States Championship he stole from The Miz, who stole it from Kofi Kingston last week.  The three of them will be in a triple threat match at Hell In A Cell for the title.  Swagger’s jobber to the stars opponent tonight is Evan Bourne.

    Jack Swagger vs. Evan Bourne

    Bourne looks like a dwarf next to Swagger.  Swagger picks up the win in a short match.

    After the match, Swagger says he’s going to be the next US Champion.  The Miz thinks otherwise.  He says he’s been the most impressive draft pick for RAW this year, and that he’ll be the next US Champion.  Swagger and The Miz start brawling, and Kofi Kingston shows up and steals his belt back.

    <COMMERCIAL BREAK>

    Santino Marella and Hornswoggle make their way out to the ring, followed by Chavo Guerrero and Chris Masters, and we’re underway.

    Santino & Hornswoggle def. Chavo Guerrero & Chris Masters

    Masters gets the blind tag and locks Santino in the Master Lock, passing out and losing for his team without Hornswoggle ever even getting in the ring.

    After the match, Masters grabs Hornswoggle, and hooks him in the Master Lock, much to the surprise of Chavo, who decks Masters and takes off.  Masters gives Chavo a “WTF” look as he leaves.

    Lynyrd Skynyrd’s new album comes out tomorrow

    Big Show, Chris Jericho, and Randy Orton are discussing strategy in the back.

    <COMMERCIAL BREAK>

    Ben Roethlisberger is the guest host of RAW next Monday, and is bringing the entire Steelers offensive line with him, apparently.  The King and Cole run down the card.

    On that note, I’m going to turn things over to this week’s guest hostess for BWF’s RAW review, the Empress of iMPACT, Drowgoddess!

    Alicia Fox and Rosa Mendez are walking backstage.  I was hoping they were walking towards the exit, but The King says we’ve got Diva action, NEXT!

    Hey, all!

    Reverend Al Sharpton is backstage. He still receives tremendous boos. He thanks everyone for the fun time that he has had. Jillian comes running up and interrupts him. She, fortunately, is not allowed to hang around and sing for extended lengths of time. Reverend Al dances with the Bella twins instead. We see John Cena backstage before we go to a commercial break.

    When we return, John Cena enters first for the three-on-one gauntlet match. Whether Cena wins or loses, he must fight all three opponents, one at a time. Chris Jericho is up first.

    John Cena vs. Chris Jericho: Cena tries to pin Jericho quickly, but Jericho squirms out repeatedly. Massive “Cena!” chants. Jericho lays into Cena with kicks to the midsection. Jericho attempts to wear down Cena with holds. Cena goes for the Attitude Adjustment, but Jericho rolls through and counters, continuing to punch Cena. In the face. Jericho is in control. Cena flattens Jericho with a shoulder tackle off the ropes. Cena takes Jericho down, and we can’t see him! Cena hits the Five Knuckle Shuffle, but Jericho fights out of the Attitude Adjustment. Walls of Jericho on Cena! Cena makes it to the bottom rope. Jericho refuses to release the hold. The referee counts to five. Jericho refuses to release the hold. Jericho is disqualified for refusing to break the hold, and Cena gets the win. Jericho only releases the hold when the Big Show reaches ringside.

    Winner by DQ: John Cena

    John Cena vs. the Big Show: Jericho remains at ringside to comment and encourage Show. Show pounds on Cena as we go to commercial break. When we return, Show drives Cena into the corner, and targets Cena’s lower back. Jericho shouts at Show and bangs his hand on the mat. Show catches Cena in a bear hug. Show drops Cena with a kick to the gut. Show goes for a chokeslam, but Cena counters with a DDT (By DDT, I mean a gently rolling summersault). Cena picks up Show for an Attitude Adjustment, but Jericho rushes the ring and knocks Cena down. Jericho and Show beat Cena down. Show is disqualified due to Jericho’s interference, and Cena gets a second victory.

    Winner by DQ: John Cena

    John Cena vs. Randy Orton: Orton enters slowly, staring unblinkingly at Cena. Cena gestures, “come get some.” No, King, Delirious doesn’t work for WWE. Cena is not Delirious. Sorry, I had to go there. 🙂 Orton slowly circles Cena, every inch the predator. They stand almost nose-to-nose. Cena raises one finger, and the Hell in a Cell cage lowers over them. Orton tries to escape, but Cena grabs him around the waist, and drags him back in as the cage lowers. Randy Orton has been outsmarted! The massive “Cena!” chants continue. Cena looks at the opened cage door. He looks at Orton. Orton must get past Cena to get out the door. They fight outside the cage door. Cena gets Orton up for an Attitude Adjustment, but Orton leaps up on the cage wall and climbs like Spiderman to the top. Cena follows. Cena and Orton square off on top of the Hell in a Cell cage. Which has lighting equipment sitting on it. For some reason. Cena hits Orton with an Attitude Adjustment on the roof of the cage. Cena stands tall over Orton, then drops down and talks trash. Cena appears to have won this match, though precisely how, is unclear.

    Winner: John Cena

    That’s it for RAW, everybody! Join us here at BWF for a staff round table for the Hell in a Cell pay-per-view, along with all the usual wrestling goodness!

    Peace out,

    Drowgoddess (for ThinkSoJoE)