Tag Archive: James Storm

  1. Smackdown 02/08/13: This Card Looks “Turrible”

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    I’ve read the matches (non-spoiler version) ahead of time, and kill… me… now. This does not look good, people. There’s one or two on the card that look passable. But I must warn you, there will be much FFW content on this debacle. Unless you like immobile big guys that can’t really do anything in the ring. If that’s the case, enjoy! Not me, though. Ugghhh… It is hopping time… more like skipping time. Oh well, maybe they’ll make up for it with a whimsical Hornswoggle and Natalya cover of “Dueling Banjos” using flatulance instead of the five string percussive chording hybrid of an instrument? Fuck.


    Hopping time, folks….

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  2. Smackdown 02/01/13: For the IWC That Didn’t Commit Suicide On Sunday

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    OH NO! THE ROYAL RUMBLE WAS PREDICTABLE!!?!? THE FUCK?!?!? IT’S ALMOST AS IF THE WWE HAS BEEN BUILDING UP STORIES FOR OVER A YEAR?!?!?!? Seriously, if you can’t accept the outcome, I have to call you out as not having watched wrestling during the Hogan/Macho Man Rock and Roll Wrestling era of the WWF. Just because the IWC is up in arms and joining in the Culture of Outrage, doesn’t mean shit to the WWE. Most of you steal their PPV’s anyways. They are trying to tell a long story, and most of you shit on them for fast-tracking their story-telling. And then you get off on whining about it being predictable? WTF? Think about how awesome The Lord of the Rings would have been if Frodo failed? OF COURSE HE TAKES THE RING TO MORDOR AND DESTROYS IT. Fuck. And many of these are the same people who complain about Vince Russo swerving the story all the time. GET OVER IT.

    I enjoyed the 2013 Royal Rumble. With that rant out of the way, let’s see what the “E” serves up for Smackdown this week. Now this is generally a show you can take a massive dump on… but perhaps not tonight? Only one way to find out. Go Go Gadget Hopping Shoes!


    Who gets buried… tonight?

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  3. Smackdown 01/25/13: Dat Rumble Go Away Show

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    No need for some long drawn out intro to this review. This Sunday is the Royal Rumble, and everything of significance is well established. This episode should serve to do little else to maintain a holding pattern and replay all the build from previous episodes of RAW. But, hey, you never know. I might be wrong. It happened once.

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  4. Smackdown 01/18/12

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    Did you buy the replay? Yes? Why? This shit’s free. Now armed with a functional PVR, I can resume my normal routine watching while I review without stumbling around looking for the streams. Don’t cross the streams. If you slip, you might get wet. Why would you try and anger water flowing, anyways? You’re just crazy. Oh wait… that’s me. So pretend you’re playing Frogger, because it’s hopping time, folks.
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  5. Smackdown 1/11/13: WWE Once Again Spoils Their Own Show

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    What could happen on Smackdown tonight? Best to keep everyone in the dark, right? I mean, god forbit the outcome of a title match would be leaked on the dirt sheets, let alone on the WWE.com website itself. Seriously, right? That would be completely self-defeating and retarded. So clearly Alberto Del Rio didn’t win the title,. there’s no way! So grab your favorite burlap sack, ’cause it’s hoppin’ time!


    Let’s see if the WWE can suspend my disbelief.

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  6. Smackdown 01/04/13

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    The Muppets episode in which Chewie is granted the powers of invisibility.

    What could it mean? Why is Chewie even here? How could this be the first Smackdown of 2013? Is there a monkey behind me eating alphabet soup? What is his motive? All this and so much more! Join me, shall you, on this magic epic adventure I like to call… “The Fuck?” It’s hopping time, grab your pogo stick playah.
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  7. Smackdown 12/18/12: Live, Commercial Free, Not in Canada. Dicks.

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    So the WWE thought it would be funny to make me work on a Tuesday. Bastards. Ha ha ha. You happy now, Vince? Jerk. Anyways, the last time we did this Halo 4 came out and a new president was elected. Something tells me that won’t happen tonight. But what did happen TODAY was that I made an appearance on Rational Wrestling Review representing the BWF. We spoke about the awesome TLC PPV last Sunday and the Slammy themed RAW last night. Let’s see what the hell happens on Smackdown tonight. Thank you Sky TV for being streamed illegally for my viewing pleasure.


    So that’s where Christian has been. Drinking beer in the woods. Now I get it.

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  8. Smackdown 12/14/12

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    Fucked up news week. Toronto monkey in a suit, Manny KO’d and lifeless for minutes, Bieber murder/castration plot, Syria, Egypt, Prank call gone horribly wrong… and sadly the mass shootings in an elementary school. šŸ™ I’m kind of dejected to say the least (and battling a headcold from last week, still). Maybe some Smackdown can lift my spirits.
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  9. Through a Haze of sickness…TNA Impact Review 8/30/12

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    Impact opens with the World Champion Austin Aries coming down to the ring with his hurt right arm. He hits the ring and talks up the injury and how it would have effected him if he had been right handed but he’s a southpaw and ready to fight the leader of the Ace’s and Eights. Hogan and Sting hit the stage and Hulk reasserts his presence as TNA GM. He says if Aces’ and Eights are ready for a bloodbath then they can have one tonight. The Ace’s and eights ominiously appear on screen and tell the three men that they do what they want when they want.

    Good Segment with Aries being dominant. And showing we have a fighting champion. Hogan coming back also helps set up the re-emergance of a power GM ready to make war on the faction. Best storyline all summer.

    ODB is in the back trying to contact EY about her fried chicken and thier relationship which will be through if he doesn’t callĀ  her back.

    A stipulation has been added that the leader of the BFG Board will have his pick of opponent at the semi finals at No Surrender. So we haveĀ  the match between two of the final four in James STorm vs RVD,

    After a good match which turned a monkey flip into a Last Call super kick. Storm is the winner and remains leader. Christie Hemme interviews the Cowboy who is deadset on getting that championship.

    Madison Rayne comes out thinking she is getting a rematch with Brooke Tessmacher, when out comes ODB who crushes Rayne in seconds. Then Eric Young strolls in with a suit, sunglasses and ODB’s fried chicken and Beer. Ole D doesn’t recognize her man until he strips and she jumps into his arms.

    AJ talks up his match with Samoa Joe. Which then leads into the Gut Check judges evaluating Kris Lewie. Then segways into Daniels and Kaz walking in on Hulk Hogan and Sting who show no love to the World Tag Team CHampions of the World, telling them that they’re laying down the law.Ā  The champs will fight and Hulk will tell them where and when.

    Samoa Joe and AJ have there match which is another example of good psychology and just a wonderful match that leads to a Samoa Joe win. Positioning him in the top four alongside Ray, Storm, RVD. And I was floored when that happened. TNA shocking the masses.

    Kurt Angle talks up his match with Hardy. And thankfully Kris Lewie was not considered for Gut check. And Joey Ryan makes his return throwing water at Al Snow causing everyone to restrain Snow. Joseph Park offers his legal services to Hulkster and the Stinger to investigate the Ace’s and Eights. Hulk agrees.

    Yes Joseph Park is back in the mix. Who is pulling the strings?

    Kurt Angle vs Jeff Hardy is a done well with Hardy going over after hitting the swanton for the win. Angle is out which leads to the final (five), James Storm, Rob Van Dam, Bully Ray, Jeff Hardy and Samoa Joe. Borash announces next week we will determine the final four excluding Storm since he is the Board Leader.

    Aries returned to the ring to get his match. The TNA locker room lead by Hulk Hogan followed for support. The Ace’s and Eight’s approach through the crowd. A big man representing the group steps in to challenge Aries. When Aries started to gain the upper hand the Group descended down on the ring only for the TNA roster to fight back. Just as Aries was going to reveal the big man’s face an unknown man dons a mask and flapjacks Aries unconscious. The show ends with The faces checking on Aries.

    Good way to end the show with the heels running the show.

     

     

  10. iMPACT REVIEW 08-23-12 pintnoir

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    This week TNA goes SOA on us and for those not in the patch club should know that i talk of Sons of Anarchy:

    Aces and 8’s ride up on thier hogs and infiltrate the arena. And on Open Fight Night to take on Sting. And his friends. All this and James Storm after last week has been cleared of all the suspicision after taking a beating from the group last week.

    After renaming the show Ass-whooping Show, the show began. Oh and they mention that Hogan is pissed and in the building.

    Two members of the group show up and are let into the ring only to walk into a gang style initiation by the TNA roster. After taking a beating one member smiling through his blood pack tells them “:Thank You” and he was just patched in due to this. Sting hits him again.

    So Ms Tessmacher calls out Tara so she can beat her teacher and prove herself. I should of been impressed but it was short and sloppy and I smell a tessmacher heel turn in the works, after Tara beats her with a superplex from the top. Oh and Tif–Taryn Terrell was there to officate.

    The Camera Crew reshow The Pope getting beat down and show his twitter shoulder injury. Which sets up a triple threat match between AJ, Robbie and RVD since these are the men Pope was supposed to face. But first we have to get that pesky paternity situation outĀ  the way with AJ and Claire.

    Why is it out of order? Because I’m just happy that the story is finally over and we can move on. Claire is not present according to Daniels because she ruptured a placenta and AJ should be ashamed of himself for being a “Bastard” All this before a female attorney comes out and reveals this whole sorted affair of Daniels and Kazarian approached Lynch back in January and hatched the whole plan of getting AJ Drunk and spiking his drink and taking pics. But she isn’t even pregnant and wants the local authorities contacted and apologizes for the whole scheme. AJ goes off and kicks Daniels in the head and misses Kaz to proudly announce he is not the father.

    Moving on….

    RVD vs AJ Styles vs Robbie E

    He we have the perpetual Jobber taking on two formidable opponent and Robbie E manages to pin RVD for the seven points. Maybe Hardy wasn’t a fluke.

    Kris Lewie vs Gunner

    Short, bad and he better not get a yes. I swear to God that he had a good story. But once in the ring he sucked worse than a jamacian bobsled team. Lets just hope that even though Gut check winners only go to developmental he should be passed on.

    Oh Gunner won by the way. I guess this beats wrestling Garett Bischoff.

    Not by much though.

    Jeff Hardy gets revenge on Rob Terry in short fashion and we move on to..

    Mr Anderson vs Bully Ray.

    Good Match between two charismatic guys that end when Anderson hits the mic check for the win. While this is going on Aces and 8’s are being fought backstage and when we think its done they call out in 3:30 they will unleash the Deadman’s hand. Sting and the TNA locker room come out in full force to face them. Aces and 8’s come through the crowd in vast numbers attacking the wrestlers. Aries gets his hand smashed between two chairs and when the original six stand tall in the ring Bully Ray of all people come out and clean house as Aces head back on thier bikes and high tail out of the arena.

    Good show that kept the pace quick and thankfully ended the Lynch saga. Here’s to the next month before Bound For Glory.

    -PNTnoir_ out