Fucked up news week. Toronto monkey in a suit, Manny KO’d and lifeless for minutes, Bieber murder/castration plot, Syria, Egypt, Prank call gone horribly wrong… and sadly the mass shootings in an elementary school. 🙁 I’m kind of dejected to say the least (and battling a headcold from last week, still). Maybe some Smackdown can lift my spirits.
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In honor of ThatDamnCC, this entire review will consist of one giant Youtube link to the RAW is War theme song. “Dribbel” for all! Well, maybe not so much. Our resident Kiwi is as bitter as I that the NHL can’t resolve this damn fucking lockout, he’s resumed to hating on Gretzky and denying Hull’s fluke goal. But we’re not here to talk hockey, it’s hopping time or something. I have a terrible head cold. Good times.
Hopping time, you ready?
Read between the lines.
Ahh… Black Friday Night Smackdown. There will be a ton of people not watching, even some that normally would. All six of them. So that just leaves me, the sole viewer of this program to review it for them.
Yep.
With Survivor Series only days away, this would be the WWE’s last ditch effort to squeeze the buy rate juice out of it’s viewers… too bad many people have stopped watching Smackdown. Why you may ask? Perhaps because it has lately been a rehash of RAW matches from the previous Monday, or the same ones to follow on the next Monday. And tonight we get THREE non-title matches, or so I’m led to believe. Great. Whoop dee doo. Let’s hop to it, shall we? …until the juice runs down my leg.
Smackdown on Tuesday? Hmm… WWE are you sure you want to do this? You want to go up against the US Presidential Election? You want to go up against the drop day release of Halo 4, one of the most anticipated video games of 2012? Will I even finish this review on Tuesday? All questions that even I don’t know the answer to. I’m not that inclined to review this after a 3 hour RAW, a show I might have not even finished watching at this point, let alone had enough time to mentally recover from to watch yet another 2 hours of professional wrestling. Let’s get this over with and hop to it, shall we?
Nah, that totally happened. It’s well documented.
Coming off a stinker of a PPV, the WWE has decided to try to salvage the product. In all fairness, beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and it would appear that almost every single member of the IWC is visually challenged. That’s the P.C. way to say fucking blind, right? Just kidding, most of that PPV sucked. Let’s see if Smackdown gets the same treatment. It doesn’t cost $45-55 either! Hopping time…
Best Cubito Aequet ever.
Sweet Jeebus, there is a PPV on Sunday and this is the WWE’s last ditch effort to convince you to pay for it. After battling the ratings challenge of this month, including going up against the NFL, MLB playoffs, infomercials, and the Presidential debates, you’d think they’d treat this show like it meant something. But you’d be wrong. So, let’s just get down to hopping into Ryback’s water tank and swim like a dolphin not violating the wellness policy, shall we?
Happy Halloween! Remember when choosing your costume, sometimes it’s just for the best to be yourself.
Here we are, once again. Smackdown time. What type of show will we get with a kind-of-returning Jerry Lawler? Probably one involving a robot in the main event against a concussion victim? You guessed it, let’s hop to it shall we?
Hey Meltzer! What did you think about Smackdown this week? Are you EVEN Dave Meltzer?
As clear and concise as always… 🙂
Well, I guess I better figure out what happened myself. Figured I should use the two LOLZ I made this week for something other than making people smile on facebook, no? Hopping time!