In honor of ThatDamnCC, this entire review will consist of one giant Youtube link to the RAW is War theme song. “Dribbel” for all! Well, maybe not so much. Our resident Kiwi is as bitter as I that the NHL can’t resolve this damn fucking lockout, he’s resumed to hating on Gretzky and denying Hull’s fluke goal. But we’re not here to talk hockey, it’s hopping time or something. I have a terrible head cold. Good times.
These guys are worse than Mahal!
This week on BWF Radio, we drop a huge bombshell by announcing that later this week, the BWF Radio crew will be interviewing 11 time World Champion Chris Jericho! And of course, we talk about professional wrestling television and news for the week. The crew discusses the possibilities for the WrestleMania 29 main event, ponder the polls as Daniel Bryan questions whether or not he actually lost to Kane in the WWE RAWactive this week on RAW, CM Punk on Talking Dead, a possible angle for Sakamoto’s eventual return from development hell, and reveal that WWE is no longer obligated to stay away from TNA’s former talent, which leads Joe on a rant about the “WWE style” of wrestling. All this, and much, much more! Tune in!
BoredWrestlingFan Radio Episode 51 (MP3, 2:12:54)
Our break song this week was “Intermission/All I Want” by The Offspring. Buy it here!
Hopping time, you ready?
Read between the lines.
Ahh… Black Friday Night Smackdown. There will be a ton of people not watching, even some that normally would. All six of them. So that just leaves me, the sole viewer of this program to review it for them.
Yep.
With Survivor Series only days away, this would be the WWE’s last ditch effort to squeeze the buy rate juice out of it’s viewers… too bad many people have stopped watching Smackdown. Why you may ask? Perhaps because it has lately been a rehash of RAW matches from the previous Monday, or the same ones to follow on the next Monday. And tonight we get THREE non-title matches, or so I’m led to believe. Great. Whoop dee doo. Let’s hop to it, shall we? …until the juice runs down my leg.
Smackdown on Tuesday? Hmm… WWE are you sure you want to do this? You want to go up against the US Presidential Election? You want to go up against the drop day release of Halo 4, one of the most anticipated video games of 2012? Will I even finish this review on Tuesday? All questions that even I don’t know the answer to. I’m not that inclined to review this after a 3 hour RAW, a show I might have not even finished watching at this point, let alone had enough time to mentally recover from to watch yet another 2 hours of professional wrestling. Let’s get this over with and hop to it, shall we?
Nah, that totally happened. It’s well documented.
Coming off a stinker of a PPV, the WWE has decided to try to salvage the product. In all fairness, beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and it would appear that almost every single member of the IWC is visually challenged. That’s the P.C. way to say fucking blind, right? Just kidding, most of that PPV sucked. Let’s see if Smackdown gets the same treatment. It doesn’t cost $45-55 either! Hopping time…
Best Cubito Aequet ever.
Sweet Jeebus, there is a PPV on Sunday and this is the WWE’s last ditch effort to convince you to pay for it. After battling the ratings challenge of this month, including going up against the NFL, MLB playoffs, infomercials, and the Presidential debates, you’d think they’d treat this show like it meant something. But you’d be wrong. So, let’s just get down to hopping into Ryback’s water tank and swim like a dolphin not violating the wellness policy, shall we?
Happy Halloween! Remember when choosing your costume, sometimes it’s just for the best to be yourself.
Here we are, once again. Smackdown time. What type of show will we get with a kind-of-returning Jerry Lawler? Probably one involving a robot in the main event against a concussion victim? You guessed it, let’s hop to it shall we?
We open with a recap of last week’s main event, Punk vs. Vince. The match ends with Punk running into the stands and Vince demanding that Punk choose either Cena or Ryback to face at Hell in the Cell, or Vince will choose for him.
The show begins with the Show – Big Show to be exact. He complains about the “joke” debate he had with Sheamus, demands we watch the recap of him blocking a Brogue Kick, (we do,) and challenges Daniel Bryan to face him in a match, to avenge his 45 second world title reign.
Backstage, R-Truth tells “Little Jimmy” to pay close attention to the monitor. Bryan refuses to go out. RAW GM AJ Lee orders him to go, Kane-his tag team partner-laughs at the thought of having Bryan’s back. Bryan shouts “NO!” Santino and Ryder shout “YES!” Bryan shouts “NO!” R-Truth shouts “YES!” Bryan shouts “NO,” to Little Jimmy, everyone shouts “YES!” Bryan walks to the ring, and rips up a young fan’s paper “goat face” mask.
BIG SHOW VS WWE TAG TEAM CHAMPION(S) DANIEL BRYAN – Competitive match that goes more than 45 seconds. Bryan hits multiple high-spots however this ends with a choke-slam and a three-count for the Big Show. After the match, Kane comes out to gloat – at first, but when Show teases a WMD, Kane jumps in and protects Bryan.
After a break, we have Paul Heyman in the ring with a covered easel. He introduces our WWE champion for the past 330 days, C.M. Punk. Punk refers to J.R. as “good ol’ bucket head,” and makes it clear he doesn’t care who it is…
“Disrespect me, I put you down.” – C.M. Punk
Punk goes on to reference last week’s show where “typical Vince,” tried to make the show all about himself (author’s note: as opposed to?) and how Punk slapped him in the face, and how two Superstars – Cena and Ryback – had to save him. He then shows us the Hell in the Cell poster, depicting him as the Devil. Punk claims to be an angel compared to any of us, and while he feels angels and devils “don’t exist,” he is willing to play “make believe” with us “for five minutes,” and refers to Cena and Ryback as “the devil you know,” (Cena) vs. “The devil you don’t know” (Ryback.) Punk teases the reveal of his choice by going over to the easel, then decides we need to learn to be patient, and decides he needs more time. This brings out Vince McMahon to tell him he “blew it,” and by the end of the night, there will be a contract signing where Vince will choose Punk’s challenger.
“Your fate, at Hell in the Cell, is now in my hands, respect that”- Vincent Kennedy McMahon.
Now you’re probably wondering “isn’t this the same thing Punk was going to do? Make us wait for the big reveal?” You’re missing the point.
This way, we’re waiting for VINCE to make the announcement.
After all, why would we want to focus on the WWE champion all night?
We go to a promo for the Susan G. Komen foundation and breast cancer awareness month, with Layla telling us about losing her mom to breast cancer. If this is true (and I am NOT calling Layla a liar, I’m speaking in terms of work/shoot,) then I have a whole new respect for Layla.
Back from break, we have a recap of Randy Orton surprising Alberto Del Rio on Smackdown last Friday.
ALBERTO DEL RIO VS BRODUS CLAY – Del Rio’s aggressiveness completely negates any advantage Clay’s size/strength might give him. Despite some hard shots, Del Rio’s agility and attack on the left arm gets him the victory w/the arm breaker.
Backstage: Punk is NOT happy with this turn of events. He sends Heyman to challenge Vince to a rematch from last week. Heyman goes, reluctantly.
Santino Morella and Zack Ryder head to the ring as we go to break.
PRIME TIME PLAYERS VS CO-BRO (SANTINO/RYDER) – Match is in progress as we come back from break. The match breaks down into a quick spot-fest with Titus O’Neal hitting a D-Lo Brown style power-bomb/spin-buster and getting the tree-count for the PTP.
After the match, Santino gets a beat down from Heath Slater, Jinder Mahal, and Drew McIntyre, now in matching outfits, and officially known as “3MB.”
After a break, we get a recap of Vince’s ultimatum to Punk.
Vicki Guerro asks us to “EXCUSE” her, so she can introduce Dolph Ziggler. Dolph cuts a promo on Ryback and demands a shot at Punk. David Otunga comes out, cuts a promo on Ziggler and Vicki, and demands a shot at punk. AJ Lee comes out, and puts them in a handicap match against Ryback.
RYBACK VS SHO-TUNGA (DOLPH ZIGGLER/DAVID OTUNGA) – Ziggler bails on his partner, and Ryback shell-shocks Otunga for the win.
What was supposed to happen?
Backstage; Vince is on the phone when he’s interrupted by “a plague of locusts.” Paul Heyman – plague in question – proposes a rematch with Punk where, if Punk “should happen” to win, he gets to pick his opponent for HitC. Vince counter-offers with the idea of HEYMAN facing Vince in the ring for Punk’s option to choose. Heyman starts whining and Vince shouts him out of the office, because that wouldn’t have been interesting.
Elsewhere backstage; Matt Stryker requests an apology from team “Hell No,” for their attack on him last Friday on Smackdown, he makes the mistake of using the word “crazy,” and AJ puts him in a match w/Kane.
After the break, we see video of Cena being named honorary captain of the NY Jets football team. I’m sure that won’t come back to haunt anyone.
U.S. CHAMPION ANTONIO CESARO VS JUSTIN GABRIEL – Cesaro is getting the reverse booking of Ryback, getting hard fought wins while making his opponents look good. Gabriel gets in a lot of offense, including a sic 450 off the top, but it ends with Cesaro hitting the “Neutralizer” for the three-count.
After the break, we see Matt Stryker in the ring, and Kane makes his entrance w/pyro.
WWE TAG TEAM CHAMPION(S) KANE VS MATT STRYKER – Stryker tries to talk his way out of this match, Kane agrees to “hug it out” w/him. Kan doesn’t let go however, and after a vicious shaking, Stryker takes a choke-slam. Kane decides to “interview” an unconscious Stryker and loudly declares “I AM THE TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS!”
We get a recap of the lousy Larry King segment from last week and a promo for “MizTV” after the break.
We come back to the MizTV segment. I’ll cut to the chase. Miz insults Kofi, Kofi challenges him to a match, Miz says Kofi will never be more than his catch phrase, Kofi jumps Miz and trashes the set. According to the announce team, AJ has confirmed the match.
Back from break, we get a recap of the Big Show catching Sheamus by the foot and tossing him out of the ring last week.
WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION SHEAMUS VS WADE BARRETT – Hard fought brawl with the pace slowly building while the tide turns back and forth. After the first few minutes, Big Show comes out to ringside as we go to commercial.
Back from the break, Sheamus and Barrett trade heavy shots and take turns tossing each other around, until Show pulls down the top rope, and Sheamus goes over and out to the floor. Sheamus gets the DQ, and gets in a Brogue kick to Barrett before sending Show out the ring w/a clothesline.
After a recap of the Vince/Punk face off, we get Vince in the back with Cena. Vince asks Cena about what his doctor said, Cena says it doesn’t matter, and tells Vince it’s up to him.
Divas Champion Eve comes out to the ring as we go to break.
DIVAS CHAMPION EVE TORRES VS LAYLA (DIVAS CHAMPIONSHIP) – We get a quick recap of how Eve got the title shot at Night Of Champions after Kaitlyn (who Layla was supposed to face) was injured by a “mysterious attacker.” Match is better than you’d expect with the exception of a few unconvincing kicks by Layla, and ends with the ref counting three on Layla despite her foot being on the ropes. Eve knocks it off after the three-count but before the ref sees it.
We go to a spot with Stephanie McMahon speaking about the WWE’s partnership with NothingButNets.com, a charity for underprivileged youth.
Backstage; Kane is laughing at Bryan’s misfortune after facing Big Show. Bryan dares Kane to face Big Show next week.
Rhodes Scholars come out for their tag match, after the break.
We come back with 3MB rushing the stage at a nearby bar. They act like they’re going to play but security throws them out.
RHODES SCHOLARS (CODY RHODES/DAMIEN SANDOW) VS PRIMO/EPICO W/ROSA – We are told the tag team tournament finals will be next week, when Cody and Damien face Rey Mysterio and Sin Cara. This is a solid but standard tag with Rhodes and Sandow getting the win.
INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPION THE MIZ VS KOFI KINGSTON – Quick hard fought match ends with Miz taking a SCARY “trouble in paradise” kick to the face. Kofi gets a three-count and Miz gets an open head wound.
We get an announcement of the Rolling Stones PPV concert sponsored by WWE.
The show ends with the HitC contract signing. Punk goes off on Vince but Cena interrupts him, and actually hypes the crow into a “FEED ME MORE” chant. The show ends with Vince giving Ryback the shot and Ryback giving Punk the shell-shock.