Tag Archive: Kelly Kelly

  1. Raw is Boxing Day 12-26-11

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    Happy Boxing Day to you and yours. My wife made my grandmother’s recipe of macaroni and cheese tonight, so I am a very happy man. I am also coming off my post-Christmas holiday. I spent today watching the King of the Deathmatch Tournament from IWA-MidSouth II from 2011. I will simply say that I have never called anything garbage wrestling, but that was it. There were some good names there like MASADA & BJ Whitmer, but it was pretty awful. They had the stereo-typical “gay” character who set wrestling back 20 years. The announcer did nothing but imitate Joey Styles and even used insider terms. And they had no idea of the progression of matches. Every match was so hardcore, by the time you got to the main event, there was no “Holy s***, this is the main event” moment. Sometimes, you watch a promotion and think, “Hm, I’d like to see them again.” This was so bad, I don’t think I’ll be getting this year’s KOTDM Tournament.

    But enough of a retread. They opened up in Chicago (in CM Punk’s hometown) with CM Punk’s music. Out came Johnny Ace dressed in CM Punk’s outfit. He tried to make a guantlet match featuring CM Punk. Then Punk tried to get Ace to accept a match with him. Groan… Punk was just missing something. Really can’t put my finger on it.

    Booker T is wrestling Cody Rhodes. Again. I ended up not seeing TLC, but wasn’t I just supposed to pay money for this? It just seems like we’re getting the same matches over and over and over again. They are not squash matches if the loser looks like they have a chance of winning. The WWE product is so repetitive that there’s no newness to their matches. Booker T won. As glad as I am to see him win, why did we have to watch that?

    Zack Ryder is thanking John Cena. All along Zack Ryder had it in himself.

    Kelly Kelly and Big Show are hawking an app of some kind. Then Scotty Armstrong tells Big Show that Johnny Ace needs him now!

    So Big Show punched David Otunga on Smackdown. Then Show said he could beat Otunga with one hand tied behind his back. I guess they are watching old nWo footage. Now Dolph and Swagger are arguing. It was pretty fun until the Planet of the Apes comment. That just sounded so 10-year-old on the playground. Ugh, just soooooooo bad.

    Eve an Zack Ryder come out to the ring. They seemed to get pretty decent crowd reactions. Then there was Tyson Kidd and Nattie Neidhart. It was actually not too bad of a match. I think the referee fell out of the ring as he was making the 3rd count. How botchariffic.

    Cena came out and cut a really forced promo praising the city of Chicago. He called out Kane and got The Miz. Miz wanted Cena. Cena accepted. A few minutes into the match, Miz couldn’t handle that people weren’t chanting for him. So he cuts a promo on Chicago and gets counted out. Are you f***ing kidding me? As he’s done, we get the R-Truth return. I really liked his return.

    We were saved from the retro nWo match by Big Show. It was short and painless. Mark Henry came out. Daniel Bryan came out. Then it was just Big Show and David Otunga in the ring. He channeled The Giant of old and did a chokeslam like he’d just joined the nWo all over again.

    Then Alberto Del Rio came out in a wheelchair. He told us all that he had a torn groin. Then the fans laughed. Classy. Then the Bellas got to fight over who could throw a party to help him recover. Awful.

    Swagger jobbed first. Then he attacked Punk to wear him down for Ziggler. I liked Punk and Ziggler’s work. Ace stopped the match, distracted Punk and then Ziggler pinned Punk. What a good opportunity for Ziggler. No hate over getting to watch those two. Just that I watched this match not too long ago.

    AAA’s El Zorro  Kane is walking to the ring. He starts explaining and Cena’s music hit. Kane cut a very nice promo explaining why he attacked Cena. He wanted Cena to give in to the hate. I thought Kane delivered his lines very well. I just felt like I was watching Empire Strikes Back.

    Overall, I’d have to say this was an awful Raw. There was nothing that got my attention for this show. The most exciting thing was R-Truth’s return. Remember yesterday when the Mavericks stunk up their home court? Let’s say the fans start booing Dirk. Does he get on the mic and ask how dare they boo him? That’s what we got with the Miz. It was uninspired, outright insulting and nothing worth seeing.

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  2. Raw is Getting Me Through Caffeine Withdrawal 11-28-11

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    So last week’s Raw took some pretty big steps. I know. I was going through caffeine withdrawal a few weeks ago and decided it was time to go off of it again. Not sure why I did that. Even with everything, there is still a little bit of anticipation tonight. Piper’s Pit. John Morrison’s Future Endeavored Tour ends tonight. Punk-Del Rio.

    I liked the build-up to the title match. Cole & Lawler made it sound important.

    They introduced a skinny guy named Rowdy Roddy Piper. Piper is one of my top 5 all-time favorites (Double-A, Taker, Terry Funk, Piper & Sting). Piper brought something we haven’t seen in months. Fire and intensity. It took me a while to figure out what was going on with this promo or why it was happening. I think Piper was trying to get the people to cheer him. Cena continued being happy, smiley Cena. So Piper slapped him. Cena stopped smiling and walked off. Did we find some intensity?

    Miz was supposed to fight Morrison. Miz attacked John Morrison with a lead pipe. Welcome to the last stop of the Future Endeavored Tour. Morrison got in some offense and had lots of heart. I was actually surprised this match was as good as it was. He wasn’t even pinned. The referee called the fight.

    Psycho Miz cut a nice promo. He had good intensity and fire. He’s the one guy who does well with scripted material. The only problem was that I think he sounded just like Cody Rhodes.

    The Bellas wrestled Kelly Kelly and Alicia Fox, the new love of my life. By the time I was done typing this sentence, Alicia pinned a Bella for… why? Beth and Nattie did a run-through that didn’t involve interfering in the match.

    We got a Sheamus package. I love the video packages they do. This needs to happen more. Broadus Clay has to hold off ANOTHER week? Then Punk delivers a killer segment. Loved the Jennifer Hudson reference. Now Punk can’t get intentionally disqualified? Does this make ANY sense?

    Wade Barrett walks down to the ring nicely dressed. We get Randy Orton vs. Dolph Ziggler. I’m expecting a lot out of this. This was a really good match. The crowd was really into this. Ziggler won through a little help from Wade Barrett.

    Michael Cole introduced Daniel Bryan. Michael Cole was awful during this promo. Daniel Bryan spoke with a lot of passion and fire. This would have been a great segment with Josh Matthews instead of Cole.

    We got Swagger (without an entrance) versus Zack Ryder. It was a nice short match. Swagger needs to go to Ring of Honor and feud with Homicide. Or Eddie Edwards. Right now I’d take just about anybody. Ryder won.

    The Kane promos are awesome.

    Mick Foley is now destroying every happy memory I’ve ever had of him. Then Punk says “ass.”

    The main event was really good. Lots of near-falls. They were going to do the “heel pretends to be hit by a chair” and Punk fell down first.

    Tonight’s Raw was pretty good. Everything seemed to be a little more serious. There was some good passion and fire here. Please tell me we are going to make John Cena not hated again. I could do without “St. Mick,” but Super Dave was only featured in one scene.

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  3. Raw Is Too Long 11-14-11

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    Tonight was a 3-hour Raw with The Rock or something.

    It began with the Michael Cole challenge. There was a really awful arm wrestling. Then we got to see JR dance. Is there anything they won’t do to him? At this point, Jim Ross needs to tell the WWE to go f*** themselves. Then the final thing was a weighing contest. Then we are saved by CM Punk who rips into Michael Cole. Finally we have the sanest man in wrestling. Johnny Ace makes a match and Eddie Kingston dies inside. CM Punk is RP McMurphy in the insane asylum.

    Mick Foley came out of a limo.

    We had a pretty decent tag match. Cody Rhodes and Hunico versus Sin Cara and Kofi Kingston. It was a good solid match. The funniest part was that she had to leave the room because she was on the phone and she got distracted because she likes Sin Cara.

    The Rock arrived. My wife’s heart fluttered.

    Santino pimped the WWE new video game with Zack Ryder.

    Vickie Guerrero walked out. Dolph Ziggler would be the new member of Team Barrett.

    The Walking Wellness Violation Mason Ryan took on Dolph Ziggler. Vickie interfered and Dolph was dq’d. As Vickie and Dolph ran, John Morrison threw him back in the ring for some roid rage.

    Mick Foley got to do the “Woo woo woo, you know it” thing with Zack Ryder. Then he walked out before the adoring crowd. Foley wants people to cheer John Cena. Then Foley invites John Cena to the ring. They went back to This is Your Life? Foley is one of my favorite all time on the mic. (Punk, Funk, Heyman, Dusty, Flair) Why did they have to have to do something so unoriginal? It was fun seeing Bull Buchanan. Then they brought out John Cena, Sr. I will never complain about Bob Orton Sr. after seeing that travesty.

    We got Jack Swagger getting mugged by Sheamus. It wasn’t that bad of a match. Swagger now is my cue to play Civilization IV.

    The Bellas would rather have Alberto Del Rio than Zack Ryder.

    There was a video package of Kelly Kelly’s photo shoot. Due to me not being 12, I could care less.

    Kelly Kelly pinned Nattie Neidhart in record time. Alicia Fox looked really hot in her dress. But don’t worry, AJ, you’re still the center of my Divas universe.

    Super Dave and ADR argue about something. Matt Striker is standing by with R-Truth and Miz. I think Miz was just wearing random outfits that didn’t matter whether they matched or not.

    As Punk was walking out to the ring, ADR attacked him. Ugh, why is Punk walking around by himself?

    Alberto Del Rio walks out and I just gotta say Ricardo Rodriguez is one of my favorite things on WWE TV. We had ADR/Henry vs. Big Show/Punk. Punk apparently had some spinach or something. He came out and wanted ADR. This made me intrigued with this match for the first time ever. I thought they had some pretty decent things going on in this match. Big Show-Henry was no Chikara action, but I am looking forward to this match. ADR won and then put Punk in the arm breaker. Big Show came to his rescue. Decent build-up.

    Santino Marella came out and cut a cute promo. Then Kevin Nash came out; everybody died inside except Jim Cornette. At least it wasn’t a big name he destroyed.

    Michael Cole was doing the video game hard sell and my wife the nurse pointed out he wasn’t even wearing his sling right.

    Looks like they’re serious about Wade Barrett again. It was a decent match, but it was SO predictable.

    Then The Rock came out and rambled. Fortunately for us, with The Rock, it never seems like rambling. Then Miz and Truth came out and held their own against The Rock, and then John Cena came out. They forgot the TV-PG part for a minute. It was just ok for me.

    I didn’t entirely hate this Raw. The first segment made me want to close my eyes and dream of Chikara. But it went better as time went on. I’m thinking “thumbs in the middle.”

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  4. Raw Is Halloween 10-31-11

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    I may have no idea what is going on tonight during Raw. I had a hard time sleeping on Friday night and had one last hurrah for my about-to-be brother-in-law as we celebrated his bachelor party. We started out at a Dallas Stars game and then ended up somewhere at a Dick’s Last Resort in downtown Dallas. There was a fan at the Dallas Stars game dressed as John Cena. He was booed every time he walked past a group of adults.

    I am running on a lot of sleep deprivation. And random brats are going to be knocking on my door asking for free candy. If Raw gets really bad tonight, I may find myself plugging in Night of the Living Dead and blogging on that instead.

    The Rock was there in a pre-recorded statement. Yawn… I hate to say this, but it was a pretty good pre-recorded promo. I’m sure the crowd must have been happy to pay to watch a pre-recorded statement.

    Our first match was Punk and Henry. Johnny Ace came out and reminded us of who he was I guess… to see if fans would tune out earlier. Alberto del Rio sent in the Mexican Paul Bearer (Ricardo Rodriguez) to interfere and keep Punk from winning. My wife compared to Alberto del Rio to a Mexican Superman. I think she was on to something. Punk sent Rodriguez back into the ring and he got attacked by Henry. Are we building up Del Rio-Henry?

    We get the Muppets on Monday Night Raw. I just wrote that. Then we get the Human Muppet Vickie Guerrero. I gotta admit I loved Vickie and Miss Piggy. Santino came out to their rescue. The highlight was Kermit calling Vickie his mother. The other highlight was Santino was calling him John Laryngitis. Then Kelly Kelly came out and made out with Kermit. It even made my wife laugh.

    There was a Divas costume battle royal. Alicia Fox won the costume contest for me. Eve won the match.

    Then we had a skit with Bunsen and Beaker where Christian bullied him. (Remember, Christian. Nobody likes a bully.) Then my Halloween costume Sheamus came to his rescue. They are related. Cute.

    We had AirBoom take on Cody Rhodes and Wade Barrett which made no sense. Cody Rhodes got a nice crowd reaction. They won for absolutely no reason. Then Christian comes in which calls on the mobilization of Team Pasty White.

    Then Statler and Waldorf did the “What?” stuff. Cute. I’ll just skip over the Johnny Ace segment. It looked like Weekend at Bernie’s with Punk trying to carry the deadweight.

    We got Big Show versus Alberto del Rio. The crowd had no reaction whatsoever, but it was a nice dramatic match. It made sense for Show-ADR. The crowd was dead and couldn’t care less. Big Show won like he hadn’t pinned the champ. I’ve been trying to look at this positively, but this has been a pretty awful first hour.

    Punk comes out and sits in the ring and puts him in the Anaconda Vice until he agreed to a match at Survivor Series. Then we had Fozzie and Gonzo. Swagger and Ziggler twisted Gonzo. Swagger really has no presence.

    Then it was time for the Swagger-Santino match. The work was fine. I’m tiring of Swagger. Beaker gave Santino a blue liquid he spit on Swagger. He pinned him.

    Zack Ryder had Dolph Ziggler. I think the match was well-booked. I was just so turned off by this whole night. Ryder won.

    We had no HHH tonight which was an improvement to me. I fast forwarded Michael Cole just because I refuse to watch a human being get treated that way.

    Miz and Cena were the main event. It was a pretty decent match. Cena won.

    Well, Raw was pretty awful tonight. I enjoyed a lot of the Muppet segments. While we had no HHH, it was riddled with nothing but the same tired cliches. I can name 3 people almost immediately who need off the tv NOW. Not a lot of hope after this week’s episode.

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  5. Raw Is Vacant 10-10-2011

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    Well, words escaped the end of last week’s Raw. That was one of the most surreal Raws I ever saw. Now it’s time to see how the WWE follows it up. The announcer’s seats are empty. We get a nice perspective of the back area. And we get to start with Triple H. Surprise. And after HHH’s entrance, there’s only 15 minutes left of Raw, so no worries there. The superstars are outside and waiting for HHH to step down. Then he panders worse than Hogan’s cup to the ear thing. And just when you thought it couldn’t get any worse, the Confederate Warrior himself John Cena comes to the ring. We get serious John Cena. He didn’t sound so scripted. And then comes out my Pasty White Hero, Sheamus. He’s still with HHH. Then Punk comes out. He’s still with HHH. He makes a match. Cena vs. Sheamus with Punk on commentary and HHH as ref.

    Commercial break. I have been without caffeine for 2 days. Any more Red Robin commercials, I will need to be held down.

    After the commercial Vince McMahon comes out. Everyone’s heart sunk. Vince likes watching Raw at home. Board of Directors met about this situation. HHH is no longer running Raw. The new person running Raw is Super Dave Osborne. If I was not doing this review, I would be watching 2 Broke Girls on DVR.

    Brian Wilson is on my tv. All of a sudden, Super Dave Osborne isn’t so bad.

    Now all the wrestlers are coming back in. John Morrison tells Johnny Ace he sucks. Then he continues his burial tour against Christian. My wife notices Morrison has shaved his face. She acted like I did when Nelson Cruz hit his grand slam. Morrison was squashed. Then Ziggler, Swagger & Rhodes take out Morrison.

    Then HHH threatens Super Dave.

    Then Randy Orton and Mark Henry had a match. Cody Rhodes interferes. DQ. Mark Henry beats him up a few times. Randy Orton is ridiculously stale.

    We had Kelly Kelly & Eve vs. Rosa & Tamina. We’ve still got psycho angry Kelly. Eve pins Tamina. Poor Tamina. Super Dave asks JR to come into the ring. Really? At this point in his career, what are you going to do to JR they haven’t already done? Super Dave is so awful on the mic. He just sounds like he’s reciting a script. He fired JR.

    We get Matista & AirBoom vs. Swagger, Ziggler & Otunga. This is the best match of the night so far by default. The highlight was the powerbomb Jack Swagger did on Evan Bourne. I have nothing against Matista/Mason Ryan. He just looks like he couldn’t pass a piss test.

    John Cena’s movie looks awful. And I like Ethan Embry.

    Punk and Del Rio were fighting until Super Dave stopped it and reinstated Awesome Truth. I stopped caring during this match. I was impressed by what I saw from ADR. The work in this match was really good. I just felt like I was watching House-no show is ever new; I just watch out of habit. Miz/Truth were disqualified and then HHH came to Punk’s rescue.

    This is without a doubt the worst Raw I have seen in a long time. This is just as bad as Katie Vick era or the night the nWo started demolishing the Nitro set. The first 15 minutes were brilliant and then it was just like a fart in church from there. They most likely killed drawing in Oklahoma and I would be surprised to see their ratings higher than 2.5. Not saying all hope is lost. But something needs to change.

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  6. Raw Is Dedicated to Mr. Peppermint 9-26-11

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    For those of you who have no idea who Mr. Peppermint is, click here. His show, Peppermint Palace, was on every Saturday morning on ABC at 6 (or 5, I don’t remember). His show meant Saturday morning cartoons were going to start. And that was back when you didn’t have Nick Jr. or Cartoon Network. This was the highlight of your week. So a moment of silence and respect to Mr. Peppermint.

     

    We have some questions from last week’s Raw. What will come of “on-fire” Alberto del Rio? What of Miz and Truth being fired? What injury will Tony Romo suffer? What indy promotion do I want to get next and do a review on? (I’m thinking Chikara.)

     

    We start off with Triple H. I look at upcoming Chikara and AAW shows. My AIW show is on its way. Triple H was interrupted by Vickie Guerrero. And yet, people still booed her. Ziggler sounded really good. Ziggler and Triple H played off each other really well. Then Cody Rhodes interrupted. And then Christian interrupted. Christian gets lots of matches. Ziggler fights Zack Ryder. Cody Rhodes gets a Battle Royal.

     

    This was a pretty good fast Battle Royal. Cody Rhodes retained.

     

    After the break, Super Dave Osborne is talking to “Not-so-Super” David Otunga. Apparently, he is still a lawyer even if he’s not practicing. Oh, the stupid… It burns.

     

    We got a tag match. Nattie/Beth vs. Eve/Kelly. We got a Kelly Kelly video package. We need more of these. The crowd actually seemed to care about this match. Beth pinned the champion. Hopefully we get Beth winning more. Her and Nattie are a really good duo.

     

    Mark Henry took apart Great Khali. It was an awesome image and added credibility to his tear of destruction.

     

    John Cena cut a promo. Kansas City thought he was the Chiefs because there were some cheers, but a lot more boos. Then Del Rio came out ringside. Del Rio was doing commentary with his wrestling tights on. Then Punk came out with his announcer’s jacket. This match ended in a DQ. This was the best way to do this. Christian didn’t lose.

     

    We got Zack Ryder vs. Dolph Ziggler. We got to plug Hugh Jackman’s film. Ziggler looked really good in this match. Due to some outside interference by Jack Swagger, we got a tainted Ziggler victory. Air Boom came to Ryder’s rescue.

     

    Teddy Long made a match: AirBoom/Ryder vs. Swagger/Ziggler in a handicap match. This was a fun match. The crowd was really into it. Vickie went out and found a soon-to-be-suspended Mason Ryan, affectionately known as “Matista.” He’s a heel still. As soon as Mason Ryan was tagged it, he was a heel no more. He took out Team Vickie. Why did he do that? Interesting question.

     

    Not-so-Super David Otunga is talking to the boys in the locker room. He’s creating a lawsuit. I like this. It’s creating an interesting storyline.

     

    Our main event was ADR vs. CM Punk. This was a really decent match. Punk won. Then the cage lowered. Punk and Cena destroyed Ricardo Rodriguez and then ADR destroyed the other two with a chair.

     

    This was a pretty good Raw, but then again, I DVR’d it so I didn’t have to sit through the stuff I didn’t want to see. But a lot of questions are raised. And I’m really digging the build-up for Hell in a Cell.

     

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  7. John Cena talk Divas and their importance in the grand scheme of WWE

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    Welcome again folks, its your host Matt B. Wrestle and with me today is WWE former champion and current money maker of Vince’s Empire, John Cena.

    Mr. U Can't C Me

     

    M Wrestle: Hey John, so you stated in the wrestling press that the Divas are very important and how you want the fans to start a “Divas Matter” Initiative. How have you progressed?

    Cena: Well, Matt for everyone out there who knows I strongly support the division and the women bust their a$$ every day to make their matches work. I believe the fans just haven’t seen how hard they work.

    M Wrestle: I think the current trend of thinking is that they are a glorified bathroom break. There a mini intermission as it were.

    Cena: Nothing can be further from the truth. We have plenty of new divas coming in who just need to be broken in. You don’t just come in to this business already knowing how to wrestle. They have to have a look that is marketable then the real training can begin.

    M Wrestle: Because you’re in the entertainment business not the wrestling business? right?

    Cena: Kinda. We still are wrestlers just look at my boy Daniel Bryan, he walks around with a shirt that says “wrestler” on it. Just go to shopWWe. com

    M Wrestle: Okay. But before we go off topic your saying they have to have model bodies before being considered a viable option?

    Cena: Not really true for all cases but its a start. Just look at Kharma, Beth Phoenix, Natalya, Gail and Melina.

    M. Wrestle: You are aware that Kharma is preggers, Melina has been fired, Natalya is pretty non existant, Gail quit in protest and Beth is jobbing to Kelly Kelly who has an inate fear of the ring ropes.

    Cena: Well, I don’t know where you get your information but Kelly Kelly is not afraid of the ropes. And Beth is a heel. (rubs nose)

    M. Wrestle: Problem John? Have a Pinocchio complex?

    Cena: What? I’m not a wooden boy!

    M Wrestle: (underbreath) So missed the point.

    Cena: Huh?

    M Wrestle: Nothing. Had to catch a sneeze. So should we look out for Alicia Fox, the Bella Twins and AJ to be the future of the division?

    Cena: These are very talented ladies who should help bring WWe to the forefront. To one day even surpass the formers Divas of old.

    M Wrestle: You mean Luna, Sable, Trish, Lita, Ivory, Jacqueline and Alundra Blaze?

    Cena: Yeah, and who’s Alundra Blaze I think you’re misinformed.

    M Wrestle: Yeah. I probably absently inserted a Joshi wrestler.

    Cena: Joshi, what?

    M. Wrestle: (rolls eyes) Moving on, what is Vince’s grand scheme for the Division?

    Cena: He hoping to use them as role models for the young female fans . To be a source of pride. We have many women of different sizes in our division. (rubs his nose) Who all love one another. And respect each other.

    M Wrestle: It makes sense look at the Bella Twins and former LayCool between the two they had nothing but love for Mickie James and Kharma.

    Cena: Yeah?

    M Wrestle: (rolls eyes in an almost Undertaker fashion)

    Cena: Matt, you may want to get that checked out.

    M Wrestle: Thanks John. Maybe we can go together me for my eyes and you for your nose?

    Cena: Okay?

    M Wrestle: Hope to see you again soon as Champion.

    Next week: On the road with John Morrison.

    My Name is Matt B. Wrestle, but you already know that.

  9. Smackdown: 08/05/11. Very Good Episode… sorta.

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    Well first off, before we get down to the wrestling… unless you’ve missed it… there are five wrestlers who you will not see on Smackdown tonight (or any other WWE broadcasting) as they’ve been future endeavored. These would be Melina Perez, Gail Kim, Vladimir Kozlov, Chris Masters, and Harry “DH” Smith. Of the lot, I wouldn’t be shocked to see at least on of these people show up in TNA at some point.

    Let’s get onto Smackdown then, shall we? Looks like we’ve got seven matches on the slate, which is fine by me.

    (more…)

  10. Raw is Hunter 7-25-11

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    Last week, we saw one of the weirdest, most bizarre changes in wrestling history. Tonight, there seems to be a new era, the real-life McMahon-Helmsley era, if you will. Questions abound. Who will become champion? Will Alberto del Rio cash in Money in the Bank? Will we see Zack Ryder? Who will Mark Henry sideline? Will we ever see Sin Cara again? Will my wife bring me home my drink from Sonic? (She did, btw.)

    The signature opens up. How do they have time for Ultimate Warrior? Are they proud of him? Really? (<—— Miz voice) No wonder CM Punk wants to quit.

    Whyyyyy in the blue hellllllllll (<——– Rock voice) is the championship match kicking off a Raw? I liked the wrestlers watching in the back. These two had a really good match. Rey and Miz had really nice chemistry together. And then, in a move that surprised absolutely no one, Alberto del Rio came in to cash in his Money in the Bank. Rey let ADR know that he was ready when he did a plancha onto ADR. ADR changed his mind and took his briefcase and went to the back. We all saw ADR cashing it in, but not cowering out.

    Vince McMahon on commentary used to drive “Anything can happen in the WWF” down our throats worse than Rocky Maivia. I feel like we’re getting to that place again.

    Then we get a nice recap featuring a champagne bath featuring Zack Ryder. And then they cut to John Cena who shook his hand. Don’t worry, John. You’ll get it back in no time.

    Then we have Dolph Ziggler versus Evan Bourne. (My wife likes Evan Bourne, so she stayed awake during this match.) Commentary was strong during this match. Lawler made Bourne seem important. This was a really strong match. It got over Ziggler and the sleeper hold. And I don’t think Bourne lost anything by losing here.

    Keith Stone is once again on my tv. This is not acceptable. Maryse & Melina vs. Kelly Kelly & Eve Torres. I am liking Eve more and more. And Maryse is sexy. This is quite possibly the worst match on Raw I have seen in some time. I’m just happier that this match got longer than the Keith Stone segment.

    R-Truth is talking to Triple-H. Back from the commercial break, Triple-H is in the ring. This feels important. This monologue gives me what I need to browse some Ring of Honor and WWE and MPX (Buy a $Payday$ t-shirt. Just because I said so.) t-shirts. I loved the swerve of us thinking CM Punk was coming out and getting Jim Ross instead. Though I gotta admit. The moment I hear the snare drums, I think of Roddy Piper. Then Cole cut a promo. HHH gave him the rest of the night off as an announcer. But not as a wrestler. Cole had a match next. Then R-Truth got the hottest segment of the night. HHH got to channel his old DX self. “Are you talking to me or are you talking to these other guys?” R-Truth does the psycho eyes better than anybody else. HHH watches R-Truth walk away and lets him know HHH re-signed somebody else-John Morrison.

    Then Michael Cole came out to the ring in Triple-H’s music. And his opponent… Zack Ryder. In the span of a minute, my Twitter timeline had 16 comments about Zack Ryder. It was worse than the diva match, but in Cole’s defense, he’s not a wrestler. The crowd went nuts. It was nice. Please tell me they are going to use him.

    We had a Kofi-Alberto del Rio match. Kofi is such an incredible athlete. Aside from Rey, I don’t think I’ve ever seen a luchador adjust to the WWE in-ring style as well as del Rio. The finish was really strong. Kofi almost had del Rio down for the pin. Kofi had an injured arm and tapped out because of the injury and looked pretty strong even after a loss.

    HHH will be on Smackdown! The exclamation point is there because it’s on the name, not because I’m enthused.

    My tv does not need to be adjusted. Jim Ross is supposed to be there. Who has an “Add Jim Ross” on their settings? Maybe he can do commentary on General Hospital. “Stone Cold! Stone Cold!” regarding Jason. (I’m married. Don’t judge me.)

    Miz is not happy. A champion needs a face. And, in a cheap plug worthy of DX, Miz will be on The George Lopez Show on Wednesday. Something tells me Miz may NOT be the focal point of that show, as it most likely will be crashed. Then Rey comes out to face the Confederate Warrior. The crowd really is in to John Cena. Maybe they’re in Charleston, SC. I heard the Confederacy was big there. While I can mock them all I want, this was a hot crowd. Cena and Rey fought a really good match. I really had no idea who was going to win this one. Watching Cena win made me a little sick, but then Punk’s music hit and he has new music. They had a nice stare-down with their belts.

    All in all, this was such a good Raw. There are things I didn’t like. I didn’t like Cena winning the belt. I didn’t like the divas segment/match. But all the rest of the matches were great.  (I’m not counting Ryder-Cole as a match.) It was undpredictable, fun, and it sounds like they are listening to us.

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