Hey, Everybody! It’s time for WWE Superstars again.
Match 1: Tiffany vs Co-Women’s Champion Layla (non-title match)
Somehow Tiffany is the number one contender. This is your standard Diva’s match. Michelle McCool interferes behind the referees back. Layla wins with the Lay-Out.
Match 2: Vance Archer and Kurt Hawkins vs The Dudebusters
Wasn’t Kurt Hawkins a Dudebuster in FCW? He gets the win over his former team with the flying elbow off the top rope. After the match, Archer and Hawkins tell the Hart Dynasty to pay attention and they will find them. I guess they are next in line for a tag title shot now.
Main Event: Zack Ryder vs Evan Bourne
Evan Bourne is the most exciting guy to watch in the WWE right now. He’s just spectacular. Bourne gets the win with the Shooting Star Press.
Hey everybody. It’s your favorite WWE Superstars reviewer. I am here this week with actual thoughts this week instead of the generic results. Enjoy!
Match 1: Santino Marella and Vladimir Kozlov vs William Regal and Primo Colon
In the opening minutes of the match, Santino pulled off a Primo cartwheel and started power-walking off the ropes as William Regal just watched in confusion. Fear the Cobra! If he wasn’t funny, he would have been released a long time ago. I think this might be a last ditch effort to do something with Kozlov. Everything else has failed, so why not put him in a tag team. Primo has seemingly found a home on Superstars and lucky to still have a job. Regal is being underutilized. He was perfect as the GM on RAW.
As far as the match goes, the end comes when Primo goes for high flying cross body off the top rope and Kozlov catches him and drops him with the Iron Curtain. The winners of the match are Vladimir Kozlov and Santino Marella.
Match 2: Chris Masters vs Caylen Croft of the Dudebusters
Why haven’t they done more with Chris Masters? He’s the type of guy who should be in the Mark Henry role or chasing the US Title. I can’t stand the Dudebusters. They suck hard! Croft spends the majority of the match getting beat down like the jobber he should be, but he gets the victory after hitting a chop block and a DDT. The world is in complete disaray now as Caylen Croft picks up the victory over Chris Masters.
Main Event: MVP w/Percy “Oh Yeah” Watson vs Chavo Guerrero
Once upon a time there was a heavily hyped new superstar on Smackdown. He was pushed and eventually became a multiple time US Champion. He then was moved to RAW and is now lost on Superstars most weeks. That superstar is MVP.
Once upon a time there was another superstar who was part of a great wrestling family. He was a very good Cruiserweight, but then he became Kerwin White. After tragedy struck, he re-adopted his God given name and became the WWECW Champion. He lost in 8 seconds to a Big Red Monster, became a forgotten member of another family (La Familia), and then became a forgotten member of the WWE roster. He is now a staple of Superstars too. His name is Chavo Guerrero.
MVP picks up the win with the Play of the Day. Let this be a lesson; If you have a heavily hyped debut on Smackdown, you will probably end up on Superstars eventually. This means you, Alberto Del Rio. I’m sure I’ll be seeing you soon enough on WWE Superstars. And I’m hoping to see all of you again next week for another exhilirating show.
Match 1: Chris Masters and MVP w/Percy Watson vs The Dudebusters
MVP picks up the win for his team after he hit the 305 on Caylen Croft.
Match 2: Chavo Guerrero vs JTG
Chavo gets a rare win with the Frog Splash.
Match 3: Yoshi Tatsu vs Primo Colon
Primo gets the win after he stole his brother’s finisher.
Main Event: The Hart Dynasty vs The Uso’s
The Hart Dynasty gets the win with the Hart Attack. It was kinda cool looking. The Hart Attack was on Jay, but Tyson Kidd saw Jimmy coming and drop kicked him at the same time.
Match 1: Primo Colon and Jillian vs Yoshi Tatsu and Gail Kim (Bella Twins are Special Guest Referees)
Gail Kim rolls up Jillian with a very quick count by one of the Bella’s.
Match 2: Zack Ryder vs Goldust
Zack Ryder doesn’t wear the half pants tonight, but instead just goes with the trunks. Ryder gets the win with the Ruff Ryder.
Masterlock Challenge: The Dudebusters
First, Masters locked it on Croft, then he invited Baretta to take the challenge. As Masters was about to lock it in on Baretta, Croft jumped in and The Dudebusters inflicted a little double team punishment on him.
Main Event: LayCool vs Tiffany and Kelly Kelly
Really??? This is the main event? Absolutely pathetic. Layla gets the pin when Michelle McCool kicked Kelly Kelly in the face with the referee distracted by Tiffany.
Hola! Como estas? That’s the extent of my Spanish. Let’s delve into this thing.
Match 1: JTG vs Caylen Croft of Dudebuster fame w/Trent Baretta
I hate JTG’s straight hair. It’s time for him to go back to the braids. Speaking of JTG, has anyone seen Shad Gaspard lately? The Dudebusters suck…plain and simple. They won’t last long. Speaking of not lasting long, has anyone seen Shad Gaspard lately? JTG hits the Shout Out for the victory. He grabs some kiddies and celebrates in the ring with them.
Match 2: Luke Gallows w/ Serena vs Chris Masters
I like Masters, but he will never rise above being a lower mid-card performer. It’s rather unfortunate, because he is better than what most people think. Gallows should be further along than he is. Wrestling at house shows and every so often on Superstars is not indicative of progress. It’s almost time to break up the S.E.S if the only one getting over is CM Punk. He can do what he’s doing on his own. I digress. Luke Gallows gets the win with the Gallows Pole.
Match 3: Jillian vs Brie Bella
I HATE Diva’s wrestling! I will say that the Bella’s are smoking hot though. Nikki and Brie switch places at the end of the match when the referee was distracted. Nikki rolls up Jillian for the win. The official winner of the match is Brie Bella.
Main Event: R-Truth vs William Regal
The WWE really dropped the ball with R-Truth. He held the US Title for about 3 weeks and then drops it and is sent directly to Superstars duty. The guy is super over and super talented, but he just can’t catch a break. Regal should find a tag team partner (Kozlov doesn’t count) and go after the Unified Tag Titles. RTruth gets the win with the Lie Detector.
What’s up, my peeps?! Are you ready for another stellar WWE Superstars? (I hope you caught on to the sarcasm)
Match 1: Alicia Fox vs Gail Kim
This was your standard, crappy Diva’s match. Alicia Fox wins after she knocks Gail Kim off the top rope and hit her scissor kick. Oh, Scissor me!
Match 2: Zack Ryder and Primo Colon vs Yoshi Tatsu and Goldust
The only one worth caring about here is Zack Ryder. I’m super glad that he is a “Pro” on season 2 of NXT. Ryder got the win for his team when he hit the Rough Ryder on the Golden One.
Replay of the NXT season 1 cast’s attack on John Cena, CM Punk, Justin Roberts, the WWE crew, and the WWE ringside area from RAW.
Main Event: Kofi Kingston w/ Joe Hennig (I refuse to call him Michael McGillicutty) vs Luke Gallows w/ Serena
At least we get one Upper Mid Card guy tonight. Kofi gets the win with the S.O.S.
That’s it for tonight. Check back next week for another outstanding episode of WWE Superstars.
It looks like we will get a look at what happened on NXT according to my DVR description.
But first…
Match 1: Maryse and Jillian Hall vs The Bella Twins
Meh…standard Diva’s match. While the Bella’s and Maryse are hot, I HATE Diva wrestling. Maryse hits the French Kiss for the win. After the match, Maryse and Jillian harrass the Bella’s a little bit more until Eve Torres comes to the rescue.
Match 2: Vladimir Kozlov vs Random Jobber A
If I have to tell you who wins, then there is something wrong with you.
NXT Lookback
In case you missed it, Michael Tarver and Daniel Bryan (who is now known by his real name of Brian Danielson) were eliminated due to their comments last week and Skip Sheffield was eliminated by the pros.
Match 3: Vance Archer and Curt Hawkins vs Random Jobbers B and C
While we haven’t seen Vance Archer in a few months on WWE TV, Curt Hawkins hasn’t been for alot longer than that. Hawkins and Archer get the win here. I guess this is a last ditch effort for these two guys. Very random tag team. After the match, Archer tells everybody to pay attention. Hawkins says it couldn’t have been that easy to forget about him. He says they have been given contract for 30 days to make an impact. Whatever…
Main Event: Dolph Ziggler vs Chris Masters
At least this match sort of makes sense. These are two guys looking to get in the Intercontinental Title picture. Ziggler wins with the Zig Zag. This was a pretty good match…too bad nobody cares about them.
I think I have a great idea for Superstars. The show should just feature diva’s and contenders for the US and IC titles. At least then, the show would make some type of sense. Instead, we are forced to see random matches that make no sense except to give some of the talent a little bit of exposure. Anyways…Gail wins with her jaw breaker finisher.
Match 2: Zack Ryder w/Rosa Mendez vs Primo
I guess this will be the last time we see Ryder and Rosa together, as she was drafted to Smackdown in the supplemental draft on Tuesday. Ryder should be pushed into the US title race soon. Maybe with Edge on RAW, we can get some type of storyline between them. Ryder wins with the Zack Attack.
Match 3: The new Unified Tag Team Champions The Hart Dynasty vs The Dudebusters
Those title look natural with the Hart Dynasty. David Hart Smith is looking a little less pudgy these days and has gotten a lot better in the ring. For some reason, Matt Striker called Natalya “Lady Gaga”…ok??? The Hart Dynasty wins with the Hart Attack.
Hey, my peeps! It’s time for another random Superstars review. I’ve been lazy lately and haven’t posted, so let’s get started.
Match 1: Shad Gaspard vs Goldust
Unfamiliar, generic music (kinda sounds like a hip-hop gospel music beat) hits and Stevie Ray…I mean Shad Gaspard comes out sporting some new Harlem Heat looking short trunks. Shad has the serious character going, but the look doesn’t quite fit. Shad pretty much dominates this match throughout, which is a good sign for him considering all of the releases yesterday. Another good sign for him and JTG is there strap match at Extreme Rules on Sunday. Goldust got in minimal offense in a quick spurt, but Shad picked up the win with the STO.
Video package showing NXT and their version of Rock em Sock em Robots. Skip Sheffield won this and his face was plastered all over WWE.com on Wednesday.
Match 2: Yoshi Tatsu vs Zack Ryder
With Kung Funaki released, Yoshi is now the resident Japanese guy in WWE. Ryder has dodged a bullet so far, but how long can he hang on to a job? I like the guy, but WWE writers don’t have anything for him minus the occasional Superstars match. I think a stable with him and the Dudebusters would be great. Yoshi wins with a Spinning Heel Kick from the top rope.
Main Event: Carlito w/Michael Tarver vs John Morrison
Carlito says despite being one of the few RAW superstars that actually made it to RAW this past week, he was disrespected and not put in a match. Out comes the Shaman of Sexy, the Friday Night Delight, the White Shadow John Morrison. Morrison is really getting a push on Smackdown…or so it seems. He had an outstanding match with Jack Swagger recently on Smackdown. Morrison gets the win with a Flying Chuck as Carlito was distracted by Michael Tarver.
Hey, everybody! I hope you enjoyed Wrestlemania 26, but now its time for the WWE’s D show (maybe F show…I’m not sure if AM RAW beats Superstars in ratings or not. I haven’t checked on that.)
Match 1: Kofi Kingston and MVP vs Zack Ryder and Carlito
Kofi and MVP get the win after Kofi hits Carlito with the Trouble in Paradise.
Match 2: William Regal vs Yoshi Tatsu
Yoshi gets the win with a kick to the head.
Match 3: Hart Dynasty vs Caylon Croft and Trent Baretta (The Dudebusters)
Tyson Kidd forces Baretta to tap out with the Sharpshooter after hitting the Hart Attack. Hopefully this will be the build for them to become Tag Champs
Alright, Peeps. That’s it for this week. It’s another random Superstars and thus another random results column.
