Tag Archive: Miz

  1. RYTMANS RAW REVIEW 10/29/12

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    MATCH RESULTS

    RYBACK DEF JTG – Total Squash; JTG is for all intents and purposes a jobber.  Ryback hits the shell shock for the three-count.

    ORTON DEF BARRETT – We get a re-cap of Barrett’s win on the last Smackdown.  Hard-hitting match; ending with an RKO out of nowhere.  Orton gets the win.

    WWE TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS HELL NO DEF PRIME TIME PLAYERS – Side note; the PTP were wearing ALL Pink for this match.  I don’t know if that was for the Breast Cancer campaign, or they got heat from the front office.  Team Hell No wins despite arguing with each other.

    WWE I-C CHAMPION KOFI KINGSTON DEF WWE U.S. CHAMPION ANTONIO CESARO BY DQ – Miz joins the announce team for this one, and distracts Kofi, allowing Cesaro to get a shot in.  Kofi tosses Cesaro right on top of Miz a few seconds later.  Miz attacks Kofi, getting Cesaro DQ’d.  R-Truth runs out to save Kofi from the double team by Miz/Cesaro.

    3MB DEF CO-BRO – Santino knocks Drew McIntyre off the ring w/a flying “Cobra” shot, but this gives Heath Slater the opening to hit a swinging neck-breaker with the leg for a pin fall.

    AJ DEF BETH PHEONIX – AJ wins with a small package, but Vicki comes out, saying she demands better of her roster, so after distracting AJ long enough for Beth to hit a clothesline…

    BETH PHEONIX DEF AJ – With the Glam Slam, for a three-count.

    RHODES SCHOLARS DEF SIN-STERIO – Sandow hits the neck-breaker on Sin Cara after a three way brawl on the outside with Cara, Cody Rhodes and Mysterio.

    ALBERTO DEL RIO DEF JUSTIN GABRIEL – ADR locks in an arm-bar submission, and nothing much else to see here people.

    BACKSTAGE SEGMENTS AND PROMOS

    We opened with a recap of referee Brian Maddox screwing Ryback out of the WWE title by helping defending champ C.M. Punk w/a low blow and a fast count.

    WWE champ C.M. Punk hobbles to the ring with Paul Heyman and his belt in tow.  He denies having anything to do with Maddox and points out Maddox screwing him over with a bad call two weeks ago in a tag team match.  Punk runs down a list of enemies and victories, saying he is kryptonite to resident “superman” John Cena, and declares himself “In-erasable,” (in regards to WWE wanting to erase him from history.) Mick Foley is out next.  Punk compares Foley to Hurricane Sandy, and Foley craps on Punk making light of a tragedy.  He gets the cheap pop for Charlotte North Carolina, and tells Punk he blew the choice Foley gave him a few weeks ago.  He yells at Punk about tradition, to which Punk responds by showing Foley his bandages.

    “THIS IS WHAT YOUR TRADITION DOES.”– C.M. Punk

    Foley challenges Punk to a traditional Survivor Series match, Team Foley vs. Team Punk.  Punk accepts, and Ryback comes out for his match.  Punk and Heyman bail.

    Backstage; Vicki is interviewing AJ.  Seems the board of directors wants Vicki to consider hiring her back as a Diva.  Vicki takes the opportunity to torment AJ with the “c” word.

    After the Hell-no/PTP match, Vicki comes out to address the crowd about the Cena/AJ “scandal.” Cena comes out to confront Vicki.  Vicki says she has video proof of their “relationship.” We are shown in order…

    Recap:

    • Cena making a joke about going to “In & Out” Burger w/AJ, Cena responds that it was a joke.
    • Cena hugging AJ after she resigned last week, Cena claims he was comforting a friend.
    • Cena and AJ having dinner together, Cena claims they were discussing his condition and return.
    • Cena and AJ getting into the elevator, Cena claims he just walked her to her door.

    Vicki calls John full of excuses and starts ragging on AJ about flirting with John.  John cuts her off, and out comes Dolph Ziggler.  Ziggler says this is all because of John’s “sophomoric urges.” Cena shoves Ziggler on his posterior and we go to break.

    After the Kofi/Cesaro match, Vicki goes back to AJ (Yes, this was stretched out into three segments.) After more ragging, Vicki offers AJ back her job if she’ll just admit to thinking John is attractive.  AJ refuses to compromise Cena and tries to walk off.  Vicki calls her back, and decides to give her back her job (MAKING ALL THIS A COMPLETE WASTE OF TIME.) She gives AJ a match with Beth Phoenix (see above,) later that night and warns AJ that if she ever touches her again, she’s gone.  AJ says thanks, and skips off smiling.

    After the Divas match, we get a word from Sheamus.  He’s bummed about losing the title, but doesn’t regret anything because he was in the best fight he’s had since coming to the WWE.  He promises to bring the fight to Big Show and next time, he’ll win the war and the world’s championship.  Big Show comes out to gloat and rub the belt in Sheamus’ face.  He calls Sheamus a “Ginger Snap.” Sheamus responds…

    “Have you ever seen a Ginger Snap?” – Sheamus

    Sheamus follows that up with an EFFORTLESS “White Noise” on Big Show.  Sheamus walks off while Big Show recovers.

    After a look at Sports Business Journal’s piece on Wrestlemania, we go backstage with Cena and AJ talking about their night.  Cena leaves and AJ gives him the same stare she used to give C.M. Punk. (RUN JOHN! THIS ENDS BADLY!) Vicki spies on them from a few feet back.  She starts after AJ but is interrupted by Beth Phoenix, who thanks her for restarting the match.  Vicki resents being put in that position, and FIRES BETH!  Side Note: Sara Del Ray gets a glimpse into a possible alternate future.

    After the Sinsterio/Rhodes Scholars match, we’re backstage with Foley and Kaitlyn gushing about WWE 13 coming out Tuesday, when Heyman makes himself known.  They hype up their presentation on their Survivor Series teams later tonight.

    After a break, we get a video package of the WWE’s Breast Cancer Awareness Promotion with the Susan G. Komen foundation.  After a lengthy rundown of all they’ve been doing, we get a ceremony in the ring where John Cena presents SGK reps with a check for ONE MILLION DOLLARS.

    You know, I gotta admit.  This was something.  For whatever reason, WWE committed to this and did something really positive.  I give them kudos.

    After the Del Rio/Gabriel match and a break, we get our Main Event of the evening; Punk and Foley introducing their Survivor Series teams.  Heyman has assembled the Miz, Team Rhodes Scholars, and Alberto Del Rio.  Foley has Kofi, Team Hell No, Randy Orton, and RYBACK as the big surprise.  This ends in a wild brawl (of course,) and Punk bails on his team while Ryback stares at him.  After passing up the chance to end the damn show for three minutes, Ryback crushes Cody in the Shellshock, and we end.

  2. RYTMANS RAW REVIEW 10/22/12

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    SIN CARA/REY MYSTERIO VS RHODES SCHOLARS – Right off the bat, we get into the action. As Rey makes his way out, we’re told by Michael Cole that RAW GM AJ Lee has been called to an emergency meeting at WWE HQ. Sandow and Rhodes win when Sandow blocks the ref from a three count. Sandow and Cara spill outside while Cody hits the crossroads for the three.
    It could just be me, but Cara looked like he was having an off night. The double teams from the masked men seemed awkward, and not as quick or crisp as you’d expect.
    After the match, Team Hell No (Kane and Bryan) cut a promo on their new no. 1 contenders and Kane pulled Bryan behind him, grabbing him by the face, followed up by a pyro spot

    We come back from break with a “Tout” by Zack Ryder about working the first ever WWE Egyptian tour. We get a look at pics and videos.

    INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPION KOFI KINGSTON VS MICHAEL MIGILLICUTTY – The Miz joins the commentary team to scout Kofi; however Cole and J.R. put the focus on his match later tonight with Ryback, and the Egyptian tour. Kofi wins it with “Trouble in Paradise.”

    We go to a recap of last Monday’s contract signing when Cena gave Ryback the title-shot at Hell in the Cell, and Ryback gave Punk the “shell-shock.”

    Back from break and we get a shot of Super Bowl Champions the New York Giants before Cena comes out to “really NOT pro-Cena,” crowd. Cole reminds us to go to WWE.com and help the Susan G. Komen foundation fight breast cancer by buying special John Cena merchandise. (100 % goes to the charity.) He cuts a promo about Ryback and Punk at HitC, putting over Ryback as a no-nonsense ass-kicker, promising a Ryback win.
    C.M. Punk comes out w/Paul Heyman. Punk calls Cena on his predictable pandering to the Giants, saying he prefers the San Francisco brand. Punk says he’s the best in the world and promises he will win at HitC. He compliments Cena on his new role as “cheerleader” for Ryback and credits Cena for realizing he can’t beat him. Cena responds by saying he’s clear to wrestle and challenges Punk to step up/in the ring. Punk walks all the way to the edge of the apron, Heyman begging him not to do it every step, and backs out with the belt.

    We go to break with another mention of AJ Lee tweeting about her emergency meeting with WWE HQ.

    U.S. CHAMPION ANTONIO CESARO VS JUSTIN GABRIEL – Cole mentions how Cesaro said no American can beat him, and how last week he disrespected the Sun Records building, Elvis, and Jerry Lee Lewis. End of the match is Gabriel and Cesaro on the top rope, trading hits until Cesaro falls, and Gabriel hits the 450 splash FOR THE WIN! Cole and J.R. sell this as a huge upset and suggest Gabriel might be getting a shot at the U.S. title.

    Backstage; a limo rolls in and Vince McMahon himself gets out w/RAW GM A.J. Lee in tow. (It looks like a kidnapping.)
    Back from break, Vince has AJ in the ring. Vince tells us about AJ being called in by the Board of Directors, and gives the mike to AJ.  AJ officially resigns as GM based on false allegations of “fraternizing” with a WWE superstar. AJ gives an awesome speech about how grateful she is to the WWE for giving a poor girl who grew up with nothing a chance, and how she went from having nothing to being the boss. Vince gives her a hug.
    Out comes Paul Heyman, ragging on AJ for being a “Jersey Girl,” and complimenting her back-handedly for overcoming he faults. He nominates himself as new GM and gets shot down by Vince. We are introduced to new WWE “managing supervisor,” Vicki Guerro.

    What the hell is a “managing supervisor?”

    After Vicki thanks the WWE for the opportunity, Heyman tries to work his charm on her, and tries to get Punk out of his match with Ryback. Vicki shoots him down and makes tonight’s Main Event a champion vs. champion, lumberjack match with Sheamus against C.M. Punk. Heyman walks off having a conniption while Vicki cuts a promo on AJ, calling her too “immature,” for a position of authority. Vicki tells the crowd she was accused of having an “affair” with a WWE superstar. Vicki tries to dismiss her, but after a few steps, AJ decides to go after her. After a quick cat-fight, Vicki bails, and we go to break.

    So for the record, dating WWE talent is a no-no.
    Marriage, that’s a whole different thing.

    Back from break; with Ryback in the ring, followed by The Miz.

    RYBACK VS THE MIZ – Do you expect me to end this in ANY OTHER WAY than clothesline, followed by Shellshock, Ryback gets the pin?

    After the match, we get a promo of the WWE talking to kids about bullying as part of the “Be a Star” campaign AND I’M THE ONLY ONE WHOS GOING TO POINT OUT THE IRONY OF EVE TORRESS DOING THIS AIN’T I?

    We come back from break with Eve backstage dogging AJ on her phone, implying AJ hooked up with Zack Ryder and Primo. Kaitlyn confronts her with a picture taken off her I-pad, and it breaks down into a brawl with Layla getting into it.

    If I knew how, I’d post video of Peter Griffin going “WHO THE HELL CARES?” on constant loop.

    After that, we go to a interview backstage with Josh Mathews and Sheamus, playing with a WWE brawling buddy. Big Show comes in, knocks it away, and warns Sheamus to get serious.

    Daniel Bryan comes out to the ring as we go to break.

    When we come back, we get a pop for WWE.com and a story about Cena getting a special award from the “Make a Wish,” foundation.

    DOLPH ZIGGLER VS WWE TAG TEAM CHAMPION(S) DANIEL BRYAN – J.R. and Cole speculate about Vicki dropping Dolph and the future of RAW management while Ziggler and Bryan wrestle one of the best matches I’ve seen this year. There’s a LOT of high-spots and big-impact maneuvers, and a scary spot with Ziggler hitting the ring-post head first. Match ends with Kane (Bryan’s partner) distracting Bryan with a “YES!” chant and Ziggler hitting the Zig-Zag.

    Side Note: CAN WE PLEASE JUST GET TO THE PART WHERE THEY LOSE THE TITLES AND FUED FOR A MONTH ALREADY?

    After the match, Team Hell No argues until Matt Stryker comes out to announce that Kane and Bryan have been ordered by Vicki Guerro to compete in a “therapeutic game show,” against Rhodes Scholars.

    They ain’t thrilled about it either.

    After the break, we get a recap of AJ resigning, Vicki being made “managing supervisor,” and AJ going off on her ass.

    Bryan and Kane are seated for “the Newly Tag” game, and act like they plan to play along. Damien Sandow and Cody Rhodes come out, crap all over the segment, and walk. Stryker declares them the winners by forfeit as Bryan has a win-gasim. Bryan and Kane look at Stryker with murderous intent. Stryker bails and from the safety of the stage, smiles villainously and makes it clear he can’t wish them luck in their match on Sunday. Big Show walks up behind him and tosses him across the stage like a bowling ball.

    So anybody gonna explain to me what Stryker did to deserve this bitch-booking? Or whatever happened to that whole “no touching announcers,” rule?

    Back from break, Kane and Big Show have a match in progress.

    BIG SHOW VS WWE TAG TEAM CHAMPION(S) KANE – Slow back and forth brawl; with lots of punching and choking with a few high spots. Show wins with the big right hand after Rhodes Scholars comes out with the distraction and double team Bryan into unconsciousness.

    Backstage; Santino tries to comfort AJ. Cena enters the picture and Santino walks. Cena tries to get AJ fight this, AJ reveals Cena was the one they accused her of “fraternizing” with, and she took the hit to protect him. Cena hugs AJ and promises to take care of this.

    Back from break, Miz is Touting about Cairo Egypt, being awesome as part of the world tour.

    Backstage: Cena confronts Vince about the decision to replace AJ with Vick – sort of. Apparently Vince has no say in how his own company is run.

    ALBERTO DEL RIO VS ZACK RYDER – Okay, what is J.R.’s problem tonight? First he and Cole gripe about Roberto Rodriguez introducing Del Rio, then he says something about hearing people complaining about losing their “spot” for years, then he dumps on Ryder’s “internet champion” gimmick. Del Rio wins with the Arm-breaker, and then cuts a promo on Ryder as if he were Randy Orton while continuing to brutalize him. Del Rio mocks Orton’s posing.

    Backstage; Vicki Guerro is cleaning out AJ’s office when Cena gets all up in her face, Vicki points out Cena asked her out on TV, and they were seen having dinner together. He claims it was a business dinner as friends. Vicki says it doesn’t matter; Cena is still the one who cost her, her job.

    Back from break, we have an interview with Dolph Ziggler. He blames John Cena for the whole mess, and implies AJ should’ve had “better taste.”

    We get a Ryback Video Package showing him destroy people and how much the crowd loves him.

    Someone WILL have to explain this to me.

    Backstage; Heyman tries to comfort C.M. Punk who’s upset about the lumberjack match with Sheamus. Heyman tries to keep his spirits up; reassuring him he will be Champion after this Sunday.

    Back from break; we have a TON of WWE superstars around the ring and C.M. Punk in the ring. Sheamus is out next, and you can hear a faint C.M. Punk chant.

    WWE CHAMPION C.M. PUNK VS WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION SHEAMUS – As Sheamus makes his way to the ring, Cole quotes a tweet from “Stone Cold” Steve Austin, wishing him luck. Early in the match, Sheamus is tossed out and the lumberjacks give him a huge berth. When Punk is tossed out a minute later, the “jacks” swarm him. We get a solid, if basic match that builds its pace slowly but gets the crowd into it. Two of the lumberjacks run into the ring and each eats a big boot from Sheamus. Sheamus goes for Punk but takes a chokeslam from Big Show allowing Punk to get the pin.

    And no; I don’t know why Punk wasn’t DQ’d when the two guys ran in.

    After the match, Ryback comes out to get a piece of Punk. Whenever Punk tries to run, the face lumberjacks toss him back to Ryback. Ryback tosses punk like a pizza and drops him on a bunch of heels. Punk whimpers in pain as Ryback stands tall.

     

  3. RYTMANS RAW RECAP AND REVIEW 09/24/2012

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    MATCH RESULTS

     

    DOLPH ZIGGLER (w/VICKI) DEF KOFI KINGSTON (w/R-TRUTH and LITTLE JIMMY) – Before the match begins; R-Truth and “little jimmy” get into an argument with Vicki at ringside. Vicki takes a drink in the face and the referee sends her, Truth and “Jimmy” to the back. The match is a high-flying spot-fest with both men taking huge bumps back and forth. Ziggler sends Kofi head-first into the corner, and gets the three-count with the Zig-Zag.

    PRIME TIME PLAYAS DEF RYDER/SANTINO – This is a quick and simple tag match. Titus O’Neal gets a blind tag while Santino sets up the “Cobra” for Darren Young. O’Neal gets the three-count with a spine-buster.

    RYBACK DEF THE MIZ – Miz doesn’t get squashed in the true sense, but the end is a foregone conclusion with Ryback crushing him with the “meat hook.” During the match, a fan tries to run in but is taken out fast by security.

    WADE BARRETT DEF TYSON KIDD – Little more than a squash. Barrett wins with the “souvenir.”

    SHEAMUS, SIN CARA, REY MYSTERIO DEF ALBERTO DEL RIO, DAVID OTUNGA, RICARDO RODRIGUEZ – RAW GM AJ Lee made this match during a backstage segment, explaining to Del Rio and co. that this was their chance to get payback on Sheamus for injuring each of them with the “Brogue Kick.” Match ends with Ricardo taking a 619 and a Swanton from Sin Cara after Sheamus cleans house. Sheamus puts the period on this with a Brogue Kick to Ricardo.
    Side Note: At one point, it looked like Sin Cara tagged Sheamus, but Rey was allowed to come in.
    Was this a botch perhaps?

    EVE/BETH PHEONIX DEF LAYLA/ALICIA FOX – A throwaway tag, with Beth doing most of the work, Eve stealing the win with a neck-breaker, and Layla doing nothing but taking a shot to the face. After the match, Kaitlin comes out, on a crutch with a taped ankle. She says she got a hold of the security camera footage from NOC, and it shows her attacker. You can’t see her face, but you can tell she had blond hair. Eve points the finger at Beth and lays her out with the neck-breaker.

    BRODUS CLAY VS TENSAI – NO CONTEST – This match isn’t much more than trading head-butts and missing splashes until THE BIG SHOW makes his return to RAW. He walks down to the ring, clocks both men with the WMD, and just stands there until they play his music.

    SEGMENTS

    The show opens with Punk and Heyman in the ring, holding the show hostage. Punk sits while Heyman calls last week’s main event a great injustice, showing us footage of Cena getting the three-count on Punk while his foot was clearly on the ropes. Heyman calls out the referee from last week, referee Maddox. He demands an apology and that Maddox resigns on the spot. Maddox is happy to apologize but will not resign. Punk goes off on him.

    “HOW DO YOU WALK DOWN HERE AND PRETEND TO BE A MAN?”-C.M. Punk

    Punk calls him an inexperienced scab, and Heyman offers him a blindfold bearing both the NFL and WWE logos. During his rant, Punk calls AJ Lee an “idiot.”
    AJ Lee skips down to ringside. In the ring, she sends Maddox to the back. Paul assumes she is here to reverse last week’s decision.

    “When you assume, you make an ass out of you and me… but mostly you.” AJ Lee.

    AJ Lee tries to shut Punk down, but Punk responds with a demand for respect and a recap of AJ proposing to him last summer. If she agrees to forget about the match last week, he’ll forget about her sending him dirty texts and voice mails, and dares her to tell the audience about their torrid affair.

    “I’m the reason there’s a spring in your step!” – C.M. Punk

    Heyman steps in here with a MARRAGE PROPOSAL! He offers to make AJ the most powerful woman in WWE. He’ll come up with ideas and she can take the credit. AJ responds with a slap to his face.

    I gotta say, I was impressed with AJ here. She was sharing mike time w/two of the best in this business and more than held her own. She came off clever and strong, despite having the least dialogue.

    Backstage: Maddox thanks AJ for sticking up for him and apologizes to her as well. She makes it quite clear that if he messes up like that again he will NEVER work in this industry again. She goes into “evil mode” and accuses him of embarrassing her.

    After recapping the Kane/Bryan-Rhodes/Sandow issue on Smackdown, we go to a restaurant where Daniel Bryan is with his anger management therapist Dr. Shelby. The doc has arranged a role-play tonight where Kane is “Gerald” and he will be Daniel’s waiter for tonight. Kane goes into a monologue about pulling the beard off the cook’s face and deep frying it, sprinkling a little bit of it on every dish he’s served. After the bit, we’re told we can choose the official name for their tag team as part of RAW-active later tonight.

    At this point, I’m declaring this bit dead. They’ve dragged it out as long as they possibly can.

    Promo for the Susan Komen foundation and breast cancer awareness month

    Mick Foley is tonight’s special guest! He comes out to address the C.M. Punk issue. The C.M. Punk issue comes down to address Foley. In one of the best promo-duels I’ve ever heard, Foley tells Punk that he needs to disregard Heymans’s advice and think for himself, and he needs to face Cena in a Hell in the Cell match to cement his legacy. Punk takes a shot at the crowd and runs down his list of wins over Cena. He says the WWE universe turned on him, and he doesn’t need to risk his health/body/career for them. He’s held the title for over 300 days and will hold it longer. Foley held the title three times for a total of 29 days. Statistics don’t matter, it’s the moments that we show what we’re made of that counts.

    Back at the restaurant, Kane and Bryan agree they can never be friends, but they sure did like beating down men with chairs last Friday on Smackdown. Kane slams the table repeatedly to bring back the feeling. Bryan responds with a growing “YES!” chant. Once the reach the… conclusion, we cut to MAE YOUNG!

    “I’ll definitely have what they’re having.” – Mae Young.

    The next segment is the Jerry Lawler interview with Michael Cole. He is recuperating just fine but doesn’t even remember the match he wrestled last week. He woke up in the hospital thinking he was in Aruba with his girlfriend. He is leaving his return date up to the doctors.

    Back at the restaurant, Dr. Shelby has convinced Kane to try a salad, and Bryan to try a meatball, as part of an “understanding” exercise. Kane tries some lettuce and responds with a huge belch. Bryan seems to like the meatball at first, but soon winds up barfing in Dr. Shelby’s lap.

    We are given our choices for naming the team.
    #Team Teamwork
    #Team Hell No
    #Team Friendship

    After the break, Kane and Bryan are in the ring waiting the official selection…
    #Team Hell No

    While Bryan/Kane fight their confusion, Cody Rhodes and Damien Sandow attack. They leave the champs lying and introduce themselves as “Team Rhodes-Scholars.”

    Recap: Heyman proposal to AJ
    Our Main Event of the evening; a John Cena Promo!

    Cena comes out to thank the WWE universe for their support of the Susan G. Komen foundation and Breast Cancer Awareness month. He apologizes for C.M. Punk’s lies and misrepresentations. Punk comes out to call Cena a lying politician. He gives Cena a choice; five seconds to leave the ring, or get hurt badly. Five seconds later, Cena nails Punk in the stomach with a lead pipe.

    Backstage, Punk staggers along the hall, passing Mick Foley. Punk walks back to kick him in the groin, and starts to walk off. He turns to give Foley a piece of his mind, and meets the stare of Ryback.

    All in all, pretty basic RAW, with the tease of a Ryback/Punk match up being the only “big” surprise.

  4. Smackdown 09/07/12

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    We briefly see ADR and David Otunga (AAL) helping a neck-brace wearing Ricardo out of GM Booker T’s office. That’s right folks another law suit angle in professional Matlock… err…. L.A. Law… no that’s not it…. hmm…. Law and Order? Nah…. how about Kojak? Yeah, that’s the one. Savalas and shit.


    What’s up mother fucker? I’m bald. And dead. How do you like them apples……bitches?

    (more…)

  5. RYTMANS RAW REVIEW 08/27/2012

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    MATCH RESULTS

    RYBACK DEF. JACK SWAGGER – Swagger looks strong for about 30 seconds, but winds up just more meat on the plate. The turning point is Swagger landing ugly, face first.

    LAYLA (DIVAS CHAMPION) DEF. NATTIE NIEDHART – Before the match gets going, Vicki comes out to demand this match wrap up quickly so she can make an announcement. She actually spends the whole match on the ring apron, looking bored and rolling her eyes, great way to sell a match. One high spot is Nattie and Layla doing the old Hardy spot where the face (Layla) tries a baseball slide kick, and the heel (Nattie) traps her in the ring apron. Layla ends this with a simple kick to the head. Vick dismisses Layla in a condescending manner and Layla just goes.

    Vicki demands that the board of directors take action against the “mentally unstable” child and put Raw in the hands of an adult, like her. AJ Lee responds by skipping out to the ring, and cracking Vicki in the face. (And the Reason Layla couldn’t do that?) Vicki high-tails it out of there while AJ Lee smiles.

    JOHN CENA DEF. THE MIZ (I-C CHAMPION) – Josh Mathews joins us at ringside. The match is slow, dull, and by the numbers. Miz focuses on striking John in the head/face with strikes and kicks, Cena makes his superman comebacks. The match ends when Cena hits four out of five moves of doom and gets the three.

    SANTINO DEF. HEATH SLATER – Heath Slater gets the upper hand with a cheap shot after an “air guitar” duel, and then goes all out with punching, stomping, knees, and choking. Slater goes up on the ropes, Santino rolls away. Slater goes to the other corner, Santino rolls out again. Slater gets caught in a cradle for a two-count, and Santino takes over. Santino sets the Cobra, but the sax music hits and Aksana is out to distract the cobra. Not Santino, just the cobra. The cobra breaks his trance long enough to strike Slater and Santino gets a three-count, while the cobra stares at Aksana. Yes I did just write that.

    BRODUS CLAY/SIN CARA DEF. DAMIAN SANDOW/CODY RHODES – Sin Cara comes out to NO reaction. Cody takes control by pulling Sin Cara down hard off the ropes. The heels take turns stomping on Sin Cara until he hits the head scissors and makes the tag to Brodus, who squashes Cody until Sandow makes the save. Sandow goes after Cara but goes over and out. Cara hits a flying body-press while Cody goes sternum first into Clay’s cranium. Clay hits the splash and gets a three-count. Match ends in a dance party with the kids at ringside.

    R-TRUTH DEF. DANIEL BRYAN BY COUNT-OUT – The crowd starts in with the “goat-face” chants and Bryan responds with deep breathing. Highlight of the match is Bryan giving “little jimmy” a fist bump. Match ends when Truth tricks Bryan into a round of “dueling crazy” outside the ring. Truth gets the crowd going with the “yes” chant and Bryan gets counted out while going “no” up in some fans’ face.

    SHEAMUS/RANDY ORTON DEF. DOLPH ZIGGLER/ALBERTO DEL RIO – Faces start out strong, but it’s soon Del Rio and Ziggler pounding on Orton. Orton finally tags Sheamus who goes all out on Ziggler. While the ref is distracted, Roberto Rodriguez – Del Rio’s personal announcer – tosses Ziggler his MiTB briefcase. Orton catches him with the chin-lock backbreaker and Sheamus hits the Brogue Kick for the win.

    ZACK RYDER DEF. DAVID OTUNGA – The highlight here is Kane coming out to ringside and Josh Mathews running for his life. Cole gives Kane plenty of room as Kane takes a seat at the table. Otunga actually dominates this match with clubbing forearms and neck-locks, but it ends when Ryder ducks a clothesline and hits the Rough-Ryder for the three-count. Kane rushes the ring and grabs Ryder by the neck, then lets him go. He decides to choke-slam Otunga instead.

    C.M. PUNK DEF. JERRY LAWLER (CAGE MATCH: AS CHOSEN BY WWE UNIVERSE VIA TWITTER POLL) – The brilliance of this match is Punk revisiting Lawler’s feud with Andy Kaufman and playing BOTH roles. As Punk enters the cage, Cole reads his Twitter feed, which has Punk quoting Kaufman’s legendary “New King of Memphis,” promo almost verbatim. Then, in a nod to the king, Punk allows Lawler the first shot. Lawler plays nervous, but eventually lets it go on Punk’s kisser. Punk sells it BIG, even cowering in the corner. However Punk takes control with kicks to Lawler’s shins, backing him into the corner, then he scores a neck-breaker. From then on, the match is mostly Punk bullying Lawler; stomping on him and literally kicking him while he’s down. Punk goes up on the ropes, but Lawler knocks his feet out from under him, and Punk takes a crotch-shot to the turn-buckle. Punk stops Lawler from escaping but Lawler sends Punk face-first into the cage. Lawler takes over with the big right hands and hits his fist-drop for a two count. Punk is bleeding, but stops Lawler from escaping the cage. Punk finishes this with a ROCK-BOTTOM into the Anaconda vice. Lawler taps out.

    After the match, Punk grabs a lock and chain from under the ring and locks himself in w/Lawler and a mike, demanding Lawler call him the best in the world. Lawler refuses, and Punk pummels him with elbow shots. Cena tries to make the save, but can’t get in the cage. He yells for someone to get the cage up. When they finally do, Cena dives for Punk, who heads for higher ground, while Cena checks on Jerry.
    RAW ends with Punk walking out with his belt, and Cena hunched over a battered Lawler.

    HIGHLIGHTS

    The build-up for the main event started with Lawler calling out Punk and demanding an apology for last week. Punk responds by throwing Lawler’s whole career under a bus. From beating up no-names in Memphis, to a slap fight with a comedian, (Kaufman) to losing at Wrestlemania. Punk challenges Lawler to a fight later tonight. Lawler will think about it. A few segments later, Lawler agrees, saying he’s not the best in the world… and neither is Punk.

    We had a series of skits with Bryan in Anger Management classes, building up to his match with R-Truth, that managed to be funnier than you would expect. In the first one, Bryan calmly states his objections to being in these classes, when a small boy in a goat mask walks in. Bryan goes off on the kid, reducing him to tears. The “doctor” running the class explains this was his son, in costume for a school play. The doc tells his son that Bryan is “a very sick man.” Some guy named “Harold” tries to console Bryan.

    “Don’t touch me, Harold.” – Daniel Bryan

    In the second, Bryan responds to Harold whining about his boss with a brief recap of his program with AJ and Kane – who just happens to be the late patient. (Saw THAT coming)

    The last segment has Kane going over (almost) his entire back-story, briefly mentioning Katie Vick even. The shrink sends everyone home assigning them to work on an “anger collage.” Bryan chases him out, berating him the whole time. Harold thanks Kane for sharing, Kane responds by throttling him and snarling “You’re welcome.” Kane made this segment work better than it should have.

    We took a look back at Triple H’s career, leading up to his big promo where he would let us know if he was going to retire or not. He managed to kill over ten minutes without confirming anything, but he was gracious to the fans…

    “Thank you, for letting me, play the game.” – Triple H.

    RYTMANS RANT

    Is there a reason every other person is working a crazy gimmick? We got R-Truth with “little Jimmy,” Daniel Bryan with anger management issues, Kane…duh, and AJ going nuts anytime someone suggest she’s… going nuts. I’m sorry but this comes off as lazy. You can’t come up with anything else? Is Josh going to go nuts because he doesn’t want wrestlers to attack him? Is Cole going to explain the last year or so of douchey behavior was temporary insanity?

    It seems “crazy” is the default whenever WWE can’t figure out what to do with someone. AJ was supposed to be a “manic pixie dream girl next door.” Apparently that didn’t fly, so she’s crazy. R-Truth was angry about WWE putting no faith in him and tried to imply that they didn’t want a black champion. That hit too close to home, so he went “crazy.” Daniel Bryan wants respect for what he can do in the ring? He must be crazy. Kane…
    Well that worked out, still…

    You know, mental illness is a serious, real problem. Some of the fans out there might have someone in their family who suffers from this. You could potentially alienate a huge percentage of the fan base, or maybe just make a whole lot of casual fans uncomfortable with your product.

  6. Smackdown 08/17/12: A Better Go Home Show Than RAW

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    It’s Summerslam weekend (well, close enough). We’ll be running down the Summerslam card on BWF Radio this Sunday with some special guests. I’m announcing no one yet, because it’s going to be huge… and awesome. Tune in to “www.boredwrestlingfan.com or www.wonderpodonline.com on Sunday to check it out with plenty of time before the PPV.

    Pretty much the whole card has been announced. There’s even some last minute matches likely to be teased tonight and then cut for time on Sunday. I expect a holding pattern, and a whole bunch of clip packages. Maybe I’ll get through this in record time? Only one way to find out, let’s hop to it, shall we?

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  7. Smackdown 07/27/12

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    Well, here we are… hot off the heels of the 1000th episode of RAW. How am I supposed to be excited for Smackdown? The reality is that I can’t get excited. I mean consider all the awesomeness we saw!


    Just one of many things you and I forgot happened on the 1000th episode of RAW.

    I think I’m going to need a hand “getting to it, shall we?” this week…

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  8. Metroplex Wrestling 4-14-12 “WASP is Gonna Kill You”

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    I’m going to be honest. They did not draw as well as they usually did. So I think I wasn’t expecting that great of a show. But I learned it’s not the size of the crowd. It’s how “on-fire” that crowd is. Less than two weeks ago, we saw how one crowd could carry an entire show at a WWE Monday Night Raw. Tonight, the MPX crowd made the show.

    We began with Kyle Davis and Kody Kox who introduced Kate. She was called the “heart and soul” of MPX. Even MPX’s naysayers say she’s great.

    Kate introduced Frankie Fisher who walked out and looked intimidating and jaw-jacked with the fans. And then Jerome Daniels’ music hit. He walked out with a purpose carrying a kendo stick. He has a nice voice and cuts a nice promo. But the promo he cut tonight… I would have to put this up at the top of MPX’s greatest promos: “Just” James Johnson’s heel turn, the Haiden-LaMotta back-and-forth, the promo I cut on Kenny Steele (ok, so I threw that one in there for the fun of it). The promo centered around how he and Frankie were going to have “a moment.” It reminded me of the promo R-Truth cut on Miz on Raw in December. (“I’m going beat you up every night and unwrap this present cause Little Jimmy said it’s okay.”) But this promo was coherent and did not set black people back 20 years.

    First match: Matt Palmer vs. Gregory James

    Now you’re probably wondering (as was I) how in the Blue Hell this was the first match. So I spent some time thinking about this. The MPX crowd is one boring match away from dying. I believe this match was put here to wake the crowd up. Palmer has some nice new ring gear. He is also looking a little bulkier. I’m not exactly sure what I was expecting. But the match I got was very story-centered. You can’t fight the same match here that you would at Anarchy down in Austin. Palmer had some huge chops. The crowd took a while to get there but they were engaged in this match. I wrote down that there was lots of emotion in this match. And the best part about the emotion was the crescendo it took to get there. Palmer is so expressive that he carries every emotion on his sleeve.

    Winner: Headbanger

    After the match, they shook hands. I liked the sportsmanship. They had a cute vignette with Viktor Tadlock and Ben Wylde playing putt putt. I love them introducing different characters.

    Second match: Dave Dunnings vs. Regrub w/The Following

    My main goal as this match started was to not gouge out my eyes. I do like the work of Dunnings plus I get to chant “Double-D.” He’s country and I love the country element. Plus, he’s such a good character. The crowd loved him. The crowd also loved to hate The Following. Regrub did the forearm to the chest. The only problem with that is that Sheamus does it very well and very loud. At first I was expecting a squash and then it wasn’t. It kept going on a little more.

    Winner: Dunnings

    If Dunnings and Regrub are having a feud, that’s fine. But he’s a tag champ. I’m a stickler for protecting champs. Kyle Valo was well-received with a “Shut up, Kyle” chant.

    Scott Murdoch came out to say there was no competition. He worked the live crowd well. You can always tell when somebody has experience with live crowds because he had quite the fun with them in a sadistic “kid torturing an ant with a magnifying glass” kinda way. He sat down in the chair and waited for competition. His back was turned and James Hawke snuck an attack but he did attack him from the front. It was a brutal brawl. Security had a hard time separating them. Hawke was ON FIRE. I’ve done my share of mocking him for being John Cena. This was not John Cena. One angle and MPX fixed him. WWE, why can’t you fix your Cena?

    Third match: Kristopher Haiden vs. Danny Saint

    One of my favorite guys to watch in wrestling is PAC. I love his high-flying, aerial moves. There were no PAC moves in this match. This was a hot feud. They weren’t fighting from the get-go. Saint crouched in the corner as Haiden walked out. Then when the bell hit, Saint was on fire. I hate it when guys have feuds and they start off with a side headlock. There was none of that here. This was a good feud match. This was simply violent. Two guys who hate each other beat the s*** out of each other. Haiden won with a clothesline from Hell.

    Winner: Haiden

    After the match, Haiden took the microphone and set up Haiden vs. Headbanger for the next show. During the intermission, the faces came out and mingled with the crowd. It was a good family atmosphere.

    Fourth match: Viktor Tadlock vs. Ryan Gauge w/The Following

    I’ve never seen Tadlock as a face and I was kinda blown away. He is quite versatile. He can do the angry heel but he can do that monster babyface too. The comparison that comes to mind is Batista, except Tadlock wants to be there and will not injure himself walking to the ring. At first Tadlock was supposed to get Arcane, but Arcane decided that Tadlock wasn’t fighting him. He was going to get Ryan Gauge. Poor Ryan. Tadlock started telling him he wanted no part of him. Gauge slapped him. So Tadlock took him to the turnbuckles and slapped his chest a little. And by little, I mean hard. He got squashed.

    Winner: Tadlock

    After the match, Arcane told Gauge he was out and then The Following beat on him until he was saved by Tadlock & Wylde. Do I smell a 6-man?

    Fifth match: “Just” James Johnson vs. Jerome Daniels

    This match had a nice enough premise. Johnson wanted the belt and why should Daniels come in and get a title shot? You can tell these two are veterans who have wrestled each other many times. There were so many “little things” and nuances these guys got right. Johnson spit or something thereby prompting a “That’s disgusting” chant. I told you it was a pretty awesome crowd. The two guys really brought it. Nigel Rabid came out and interfered in full British mode.

    Winner by dq: Daniels

    Li Fang came out to the rescue. Both Daniels and Johnson were laying down in the ring. Li Fang went up to the top rope. Fang should come to the rescue of Daniels, right? But he attacked Daniels, turning heel. And thus was introduced “The Asian Nation.” I’m not seeing Nigel in it yet, but I will see how it transpires.

    Main event: Bling & Sting vs. Kenny Steele & Frankie Fisher

    Bling and Sting ($Payday$ and WASP respectively) had matching tights so they looked like a tag team. $Payday$ tried some new moves out. While they did not come out as smoothly or fluidly as he probably would have liked, I like that he’s working on finding himself a wider repertoire. The big knock on John Cena is the “5 Moves of Doom” (or as I say about Davey Richards, the “25 Moves of Doom”). $Payday$ is not content to do the same moves in every match. And the more opportunities to try his moves in front of different crowds, the more successful he will become. One spot I think he nailed was the suplex into the Stunner. WASP was pretty strong with the crowd reaction. He kept them engaged. Somebody in the crowd (or security) started chanting “WASP is gonna kill you.” It caught on. The high moment of the match (and the night, quite frankly) was when Frankie and WASP were fighting over by the merchandise table. I couldn’t see what the move was exactly from where I was sitting but Frankie went through the table. It was a total “Holy s***” moment. It wasn’t like the Spanish announcers table at a PPV where you take bets on which match destroys the table. It was the sacred merchandise table, which is the only table MPX uses. It got a “That was awesome” chant. With those two doing that on the outside it was between Kenny and $Payday$. $Payday$ made the pin.

    Winner: Bling & Sting

    Frankie sold his table bump like a pro. All the fans had to walk past him on his way out.

    All in all… This show was perhaps the best I have seen from MPX. Top to bottom, this was a really good show. There were about 4 good matches. Even the ones that didn’t knock my socks off weren’t bad. There was a really great promo, decent heel turn and a really awesome table spot. While still not perfect, I’m really looking forward to the major show in two weeks.

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  9. An American Dragon Moment: Daniel Bryan heel champion

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    An American Dragon moment is brought to you by Matt B. Wrestle.

    What we have witnessed since this December is Daniel Bryan breaking through the glass ceiling and becoming a main eventer. This has to be a proud moment. Even as a heel how do you stop the train that is Bryan? Sadly this Sunday that might be Sheamus. Why is this sad?

    We watched through tie-gate as Daniel Bryan was released and returned to the independent scene but was so valuable that he was brought back to the fold in no time. This has to mean he was meant for better things.

    We have already seen Sheamus as a heel champion no less and their wasn’t much to be impressed by. He a muscle factory churned out by HHH/MacMahon that has  improved but still doesn’t excuse putting him over Daniel Bryan. Who by far is the better “wrestler’

    Uh oh I’ve said the naughty word that no one in the Universe should say. What I should of said was “entertainer” Daniel Bryan entertains me. He could give the WWE better mileage out of him then say a Sheamus run which would be Hoganesque. Which in this time period is just not worth its salt like it was in the 80’s and 90’s. We like the heels and tweeners of the ring they add to the excitement of the sport.

    I would compare Daniels to Rick Rude and Curt Hennig, when you would watch thier matches you wanted them to lose because they were heel but they wore so “entertaining” that when they went over you were upset but not for their lack of ability in comparison to the faces. With Bryan you have that. He can “entertain” and leaving the belt on him post Wrestlemania would be a better choice.

    He has pulled the best out of Mark Henry, the Miz and has fought Sheamus previously for the United States title. Which by the way he lost while a bland face. And when the rematch was pushed back into a dark match it ended in a no contest due to outside fighting from the lumberjacks around the ring. And to add further insult his resulting rematch on Raw he lost and had to be saved by Sin Cara. So yeah Daniel Bryan the heel needs to be pushed to win in similar fashion to Cody Rhodes who just makes the show more fun.

    King and Queen of the Ring

    And let’s not forget his storyline with AJ Lee and what could quite possibly turn into one of the most entertaining slow burning heel turns in the recent memory. Right now AJ is the video game playing every women that guys wish was more common. Daniel Bryan is slowly molding her into his queen. And seeing as how the Diva division could use a good Glamazon versus SexyNerd feud just to make it interesting I’m all for it. But if Daniel Bryan loses the championship what would be the point of a king and queen of Smackdown when one is titleless.

    I believe like Mark Henry before him he’s a champion that makes the show more fun to watch and could quite possibly be the key to an entertaining Wrestlemania and many others for years to come.

    Bryan! Bryan! Go Bryan, Go.

    This has been an American Dragon moment

     

  10. WrestleMania XXVII

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    Finally, the day is upon us.  April 1, 2012.  John Cena vs. The Rock in the main event of WrestleMania XXVIII in Miami, Florida.  But, how did we get to this monumental main event?  We’ll set the DeLorean for April 3, 2011 in Atlanta, Georgia, where The Rock was the guest host for WrestleMania XXVII. Sure, I know it started before that, but you can dig through our archives and do your own damned research.  This is WrestleMania week, so we’re going to talk about WrestleMania.  That’s how it works.  Anyways, let’s sit back, relax, and remember a time when The Miz was in the main event instead of being lost in a sea of people in an overbooked tag team match.

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