Well, this was a huge night for MPX. This is by far their biggest crowd, and there were lots of new faces. So for anybody who might doubt them, Colt Cabana & Jimmy Jacobs are draws. I was somehow able to convince my lovely wife (whose favorite part about indy wrestling is I leave the house for the night) to join me for this night. As somebody who’s been with this company nearly from the beginning, it was amazing to see how far they’ve come.
Dark match: JD Kross vs. Jerome Daniels
Daniels is my wife’s favorite patient after one time he had a concussion and she was the nearest nurse. Kross needs to work on the physique. Guts are fine. They just need to look like they’re getting smaller. Ben Wylde is someone who’s spent a lot of time working on his physique, and not that he’s Chris Masters, but there’s improvement. Jerome was great in front of the live crowd. With exception given to Palmer, he is probably the best at keeping the live crowd engaged. The move of the match was this corkscrew kick. I had an Oh, wow moment when it happened. Jerome put on the hold and made Kross tap out.
Winner: Daniels
We had the introduction of the commentators. The crowd still did not react to Hawke. I wonder if it’s because his current entrance doesn’t do anything to solicit boos. Oddly enough, the one fan who boos him sat behind me.
First match: Kanoa w/ Kyle Davis vs. Gregory James w/Kyle Valo vs. Matt Palmer vs. Jimmy Jacobs
Well, one cannot accuse Jacobs of any ego issues as he worked the first match on the card. Palmer is looking a little more chiseled. If you’re reading this for the first time, and you have not ever seen a Matt Palmer match, go to www.smartmarkvideo.com & check out an Anarchy Championship Wrestling DVD. He is one of the best wrestlers in North America you’re not watching. I’m going to use a name that Kyle Davis reminds me of and I do not use this name lightly-Paul Heyman. There are so many ways that he parallels what Heyman is capable of. Palmer-Jacobs was great. These guys have worked before and were totally even. My inner smark was quite happy seeing this. During the match, Kyle received a call on his cell phone (Paul Heyman much?) and took the mic. Mike Foxx had arrived and Kanoa had to leave the match to help Foxx prepare. Looks like we might be doing a build to a Kanoa face turn. I’m not quite sure Kanoa as a heel has run its course yet. After Kanoa left, the three remaining continued their really good match. Greg was able to jump in and do the flip-floppy moves. Jimmy bumped and sold like a pro. Total class act. I wrote down that it was a good match and wanted more.
Winner: Greg
They’ve been leading towards Barrett and Greg forever. With the build-up they’ve given this, this should be one of the most anticipated matches ever. They did a pretty funny vignette where Steven Kirby was trying to explain to Frankie Fisher who his opponent was going to be. Cute.
Second match: Athena vs. Jordynne Grace
So I was really looking forward to this match. Athena is a darling of the indies, and I think with time, so could Grace. The fans were not very forgiving in this match. This is not the most perfect match I’ve ever seen the two have, and to be honest there were a few botches, but every match had one just about. I’m not sure how many times these two have worked together, but I know the chemistry can be hard until you find it. The fans were brutal and heckled some pretty awful things. There was a guy who legit weighed 3 times Grace yelling out,” Jenny Craig.” And Grace works really hard on her physique and does not deserve that from the crowd. I think this will be a full blog topic later on, because I’m still pretty steamed. Nevertheless, Athena was Athena and proved why she is one of the top talents in the world. And I thought Grace did some pretty incredible stuff in the ring. She had some nice, hard-hitting, stiff moves. They won chops of the night until Danny Saint.
Winner: Athena
I think there is enough talent in Texas/Oklahoma/Louisiana/Arkansas to have a legit women’s division. Andy Dalton then came out. I love Evil Dalton. He’s one of Texas’ best treasures. He challenged Scott Murdoch to a chop contest, which is kind of like belly-flopping onto a porcupine. Dalton got a chop in and Murdoch took it and had a pretty red chest. When it came time for Dalton to take a Murdoch chop, Dalton wanted to keep his shirt on. And then he attacked Murdoch with a cookie sheet. You want to dent a cookie sheet, hit Scott Murdoch with it. A great angle to start off the Murdoch-Dalton. I’m really looking forward to this feud.
Third match: Kristopher Haiden vs. Joe Angelo Garcia
This was a match with some nice build-up. Haiden continues to be one of the most over heels in the company. I wrote down that this match was better than the crowd reaction. The crowd didn’t seem that into it. Garcia’s mannerisms remind me a lot of another wrestler that I don’t mention often or use his name lightly-Chris Benoit. Not saying that he’s the second coming, but there are some flashes where I see him in the in-ring work.
Winner: Haiden
After the match, Franco D’Angelo came out and congratulated Garcia on a strong fight. I would like to have Franco come out to my work after I mess up and give me motivational speeches.
During the intermission, Colt Cabana, Jimmy, Athena & Grace were out and about in the crowd with doing what Cliff Compton refers to as “the hustle.” Grace did not have a lot of visitors at her table which was a shame. Were she not already adorning my Man Room Wall, I would have bought something more. I got to briefly discuss AIW and WSU with Athena, which made me mark out as always.
Fourth match: Li Fang w/Nigel Rabid vs. Jiggle-O James Johnson
Johnson came out of retirement (which lasted longer than several Terry Funk retirements) to continue his feud with Li Fang. Johnson had his own brand of intensity. He was still engaging with the crowd yet focused. There was so much intensity and anger in this story. Johnson was on fire. There were a few moments when our eyes got big. Johnson did a kick that sounded like a decapitation. There was also a springboard stunner that Li Fang somehow kicked out of. Li put Johnson in a crossface with Johnson tapping out.
Winner: Fang
Johnson really put over Li in this match.
Fifth match: Tad Wylde (Ben Wylde & Viktor Tadlock) (c) vs. 4D (Dave Dunnings & Dax Daring)
On paper, you wouldn’t think that the team of Daring and Dunnings would work, but somehow it does. Dax is Matt Palmer on a smaller scale in his underrated-ness. If I do a list of my best local wrestlers you’re not watching, Dax is going to be towards the top of that list. One of the biggest reactions of the night was Tadlock’s hair. It looked like the love child of Moe of the Three Stooges and a medieval page.
Last blog, I mocked the new “Wylde” tights for being a little too awkward. This time he had some bicycle shorts or something underneath. The match went pretty well. The newer people in the crowd really weren’t connected with either team so they weren’t lost but just not invested in this match. I love seeing Dax whenever I can. Dunnings’ work is always very solid. And Tad Wylde are becoming a tag team unit. They even had a pretty good finisher.
Winner: Tad Wylde
4D congratulated them afterward. It was nice to see that sportsmanship.
Sixth match: Frankie Fisher vs. Colt Cabana
That’s right. I just wrote Colt Cabana in a LIVE show recap. If I am correct, I remember a few years ago, when Frankie was taking a donation to bring in Colt Cabana. And here he finally was. Frankie was probably the best wrestler to go against Colt because Frankie does comedy probably better than anybody, with respect to Zero. So it was a really fun match. Frankie and Colt kept the crowd engaged. There were plenty of funny spots. My wife became a fan of Colt Cabana after that match. Kanoa came in and interfered in the match. It was ruled a no contest.
Winner: No contest
Main event: Barrett Brown (c) vs. Danny Saint w/Claudia vs. Mike Foxx w/Kyle Davis & Kanoa
It was nice to see that this was still the main event, even with the huge names on the show. The first time Danny main-evented in MPX, I don’t think anybody ever thought he had a snowball’s chance of winning the belt. Tonight he was believable. All 3 looked like they wanted it and belonged there. Saint won the award for chops of the night. Barrett took some pretty crazy chops from Saint and absorbed the blows. Kanoa distracted the referee while Foxx had Barrett pinned. Barrett took the win and retained.
Winner: Brown
After the match, the Following came in and started attacking Brown and Saint. Out to his rescue came a returning Carrion Arcane showing lots of fire and a huge crowd reaction.
All in all… Was again such an emotional experience. Dallas area is not known for getting in big indy names. To get Colt and Jimmy was a pretty big achievement. The crowd was really packed and it really was standing room only. The opener was great, Li-Johnson was really good, Colt-Frankie left me in tears, and it all ended in a strong main event.
Obviously with Jack Swagger getting a DUI for smoking marijuana and driving erratically on Wednesday, the impact of said offense will not be reflected on tonight’s Smackdown. It will, however, leave one to speculate on whether this is the last time we see Jack Swagger and Zeb… potentially ever. So let’s all put on our favorite racist singlets and plop down to watch a possible Swan Song of Swaggler.
Well, here we are. One more PPV to get through until the final stretch before WrassleMunia. Good times, good times. To be honest, the card looks pretty solid, and I expect Sunday will deliver a solid show. As for Smackdown, this probably will a whole bunch of clip packages and filler. Perhaps one or two tidbits of interest will slip through the cracks… Perhaps. But, that’s why you’re here. To see what in the blue hell happened (or what I perceived that happened).
We open the show w/a montage of the Shield beating down people, until last week when Cena, Sheamus & Ryback led the charge against them. Also, the Rock is here tonight.
Paul Heyman is in the ring, announcing that tonight is the last night we will ever see Paul Heyman. He talks about his passions and his sacrifices, and all the things he gave up – including his parents fortune – to bring us ECW, and Brock Lesnar. He talks of C.M. Punk being the man to carry WWE into the long-term future.
“You don’t have to be Nostradamus to see into the future. And I can see into the future, and I can tell you ladies and gentlemen, something bad is going to happen here. And that Sword Of Damocles is hanging straight over my head, and it is going to come down not just on me, but every single person around me, and that means it’s going to come down on C.M. Punk.” – Paul Heyman
Heyman goes on to tender his resignation, saying essentially that the McMahon’s obsession with him and his dealings make him an obstacle to Punk winning back the title, and with that, he says goodbye.
C.M. Punks’ music hits and Punk comes out. Punk asks Heyman why he’s doing this. Heyman replies that in the land of the McMahon’s, perception is reality. Vince McMahon’s perception is that Heyman was behind Brad Maddox and the Shield, and whatever happens to Heyman will happen to C.M. Punk. He claims Vince is planing to screw them over big at Elimination Chamber and Wrestlemania. Punk argues that he is a “Paul Heyman guy,” and that there are a lot of “Heyman guys” out there. Punk insists that he will resume his historic title reign as WWE champion at Elimination Chamber and that Heyman will be in his corner. Paul is so moved by this show of support, that he renounces his resignation. Punk/Heyman embrace, while ringside commentators Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler make derogatory comments comparing this to the Pope’s resignation and “the most ridiculous love-fest” Cole’s ever been a part of.
The World’s Strongest Man, Mark Henry, makes his way to the ring as we go to break…
We come back to Khali dancing in the ring w/Natalia & Hornswoggle. The dancing stops as Henry makes his way to the ring. We get a recap of Henry squashing Rey Mysterio and Sin Cara last week, and his win over Randy Orton on last Friday’s Smackdown, which qualified him for the Elimination Chamber.
MARK HENRY VS THE GREAT KHALI
This match BARELY goes five minutes, maybe less. Khali pummles Henry into the corner, and hits big slaps to the cest and head-butts. Henry fights back with kicks and gets Khali in the corner, but runs into an elbow, and a big boot to the face. Khali side-steps Henry into the corner and goes back to the big chest-slap and head butt. Henry blocks a shot, hits a few big right-hands, and gives Khali a short-splash into the corner. Henry hits a big clothes-line, then ends it with the world’s stongest slam for three.
WINNER: MARK HENRY
After the match, Henry gets back in the ring, catches Hornswoggle from behind, and crushes him w/the world’s strongest slam.
“That’s What I Do!” – Mark Henry
This Friday on Smackdown, Orton gets Henry in a re-match.
Later tonight, Cena, Sheamus & Ryback vs #MB…
And break…
We come back to Teddy Lond and Smackdown GM Booker T discussing how impressive Mark Henry is, when Chris Jericho steps up to request a spot in the Chamber. Teddy is readdy to put him in right now. Booker says “Hold up dawg,” and says Jerico has to impress him. Teddy whispers a suggestion to Booker.
“Teddy, that idea sucks.” – Booker T.
Booker suggests that Jericho earn a spot by beating someone already in the match, Daniel Bryan. Jericho agrees to face Daniel “Beard-on” and get back into the chamber and go one step closer to becoming a “seven-time, seven-time, seven-time Heavyweight Champion of the World.”
“NOW CAN YOU DIG THAT, SUKAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!?” – Chris Jericho.
Jericho walks off, leaving Booker wide-eyed in disbelief.
We shift to Vicki Guerrero in her office, on the phone. Heyman walks in, demanding her time. He requests that Vicki add a stipulation to the WWE title match at Elimination Chamber. If the Rock is counted out/disqualified, Punk will be awarded the title. Vicki refuses, then her phone rings. It’s Vince McMahon. Heyman tries to brown-nose Vinny Mac, but Vince cuts him off and demands to know what stipulation he wants. Heyman makes a sheepish request for the count-out/dq stip, and Vince agrees. Heyman thanks Vince for the stip and goes on to call him a “father figure.” Vince hangs up on him. Heyman says Vicki has a lousy phone, and Vicki laughs.
Daniel Bryan makes his way to the ring as we go to break…
We come back to a promo for “FANDANGO” coming soon, followed by Jericho making his way to the ring.
WWE TAG TEAM CHAMPION DANIEL BRYAN VS CHRIS JERICHO
The bell rings. Jericho scores two schoolboy roll-ups, two arm-drags, and an ARMBAR! Bryan reverses it into a wrist-lock and a hammer-lock. Booker T and Teddy Long watch a monitor from backstage. Jericho elbows Bryan’s face and hits the ropes. Bryan leap-frogs Jericho, drops down, Jericho goes over, and Bryan hits a knee to Jericho. Bryan kicks Jericho in the chest, the back, hits a snap-mare, a knee-drop, he gets two, and goes to work on Jericho’s arm. Bryan wrist-locks Jericho, works the arm over his shoulder, Jericho reverses the wrist-lock and scores a chop. Jericho puts the boot to him and backs Bryan into the corner with a forearm smash. Bryan reverses a whip into the ropes, Jericho hits a kick to the face, but Bryan sends him up, over, and out to the floor. Bryan tosses Jericho back in. Jericho hits a shoulder-block, but misses a second-rope ricochet body-press and lands on the floor. Bryan hits a flying tackle through the ropes, and both men are hurting as we go to break…
As we come back, Bryan slides out of a suplex attempt, and rolls Jericho up for two. Jericho kicks out and hits a clothes-line. Jericho chokes Bryan in the corner, whips him across the ring, charges into a boot, and Bryan hits the charging drop-kick in the corner on Jericho. Jericho reverses a whip, Bryan goes up the corner ropes and over Jericho, Jericho hits two shoulder-blocks, and Bryan sends him over the ropes. Jericho lands on his feet, goes up-top, misses a flying fore-arm, and Bryan hits a clothes-line. Bryan charges Jericho, Jericho catches the legs and goes for the Walls Of Jericho. Bryan flips him off but runs into an elbow. Jericho goes for a Lion-sault but hits the knees of Bryan. Bryan goes up-top but Jericho cuts him off and crotches him on the top corner. Jericho hits a chop and goes for a super-plex, but Bryan shoves him off and scores a flying head-butt for two. Bryan hits a few knees to the face, but Jericho catches a leg and hooks the Walls Of Jericho! Bryan holds on and powers out of it, twisting it into a “No-Lock” attempt, but can’t lock his hands. Jericho reverses it into another WOJ attempt, but Bryan flips him off and hits a vicious kick to the head for two. Bryan gets the crowd going “Yes!” by going “No!” and sets in with shin kicks to Jericho. Jericho tries another roll-up, Bryan kicks out, and Jericho hits the Code-breaker for a three-count.
WINNER: CHRIS JERICHO
Jericho is now in the Elimination Chamber. Later tonight, the Shield will address us. Up next, John Cena, Sheamus and Ryback face the Three Man Band.
We come back to a recap of last week, when Cena and friends ran off the Shield.
JOHN CENA, SHEAMUS, AND RYBACK VS 3MB (HEATH SLATER, JINDER MAHAL & DREW MACINTYRE)
Apparently, Jerry Lawler has taken exception to Heath Slater making comments about singing, and dancing better than Elvis Presley…
“I told him [Slater] I wish you’d go to the bathroom like Elvis Presley.” – Jerry Lawler
Slater starts off with Ryback. He shoots off his mouth, plays air guitar, takes a boot to the stomach, and gets press-slamed. Ryback tags in Sheamus, who brutalizes Drew MacIntyre. Cena tags in and faces off with Jinder Mahal. Match breaks down into a brawl and ends with the Cena-friends each hitting a finisher on a band member. (AA, Shell-shock, and White Noise.)
WINNERS: TEAM CENA
After the match, Cena and co. each take a turn calling out the Shield. We go to a recap of Alberto Del Rio sabotaging Big Show’s bus and dropping paint all over him.
We go to earlier today, with Yoshi Tatsu and Alex Riley both joking about the Show’s misfortune. It ends with Show clocking them both out.
And we go to break…
We come back to Big Show making his way to the ring for an interview. Matt Striker gets KO’d before he’s halfway through a sentence. Show grabs the mike and spends several minutes trying to say something. However he’s too angry and just drops the mike, and walks off.
We get another look at the tribute video for Bruno Samartino’s Hall Of Fame induction and we’re told there is an exclusive interview w/Bruno and Hunter Hearst Helmsley about Bruno accepting the nodd this year. We’re also reminded that the Rock will be here tonight.
JACK SWAGGER VS ZACK RYDER
Ryder’s in the ring and Swagger makes his way to the ring with a man referred to as “Jebadiah Coulter,” (who I believe might be Dutch Mantel.) Ryder gets in some offense, but Swagger wrestles more viciously then ever, and after bouncing Ryder’s head and back off the turn-buckles, he ends this with the “Patriot Act.” (Ankle Lock Submission.)
WINNER: JACK SWAGGER
After the match, Jeb Coulter is given the mike and delivers a vaguely racist diatribe about “getting rid of” people who aren’t “real Americans.”
Backstage, Booket and Teddy are discussing Swagger and Jeb, when Dolph Ziggler steps in w/AJ and Big E. Angered that Jericho is back with a spot in the Elimination Chamber match, he demands a chance at the last spot. Booker agrees, and puts him in a qualifying match… with Kane.
We get a recap of Brock Lesnar destroying Miz TV and the Miz last week.
Miz makes his entrance as we go to Break. He faces Cody Rhodes next.
THE MIZ VS CODY RHODES
U.S. Champion Antonio Cesaro is at ringside, making refrences to his brawl with Miz last week. Cesaro says he caries the American Flag to “rub it in everybody’s face,” how much better he is than us. Match is a by-the-numbers back-and-forth until it goes to the outside. Cesaro gets up in Miz’s face, Miz boots him down and goes to work on Cody, until Cesaro shoves him into the ringpost. Cesaro swings Miz into the guardrail as officals try to break it up.
WINNER BY DQ: THE MIZ
We then get a feature about the WWE Wrestlemania Reading Challenge, where WWE talent go to schools to talk about the importance of reading and children are rewarded for good literacy w/a chance to go to Wrestlemania.
Later tonight, we hear from the Rock and The Shield.
We go to break…
We come back to Rosa Mendes shakin’ her thing in the ring, with Epico and Primo. Brodus Clay makes his entrance w/Tesai and the Pom-Pom waving Funkadactyls.
BRODUS CLAY/TENSAI VS PRIMO/EPICO
Team Mo/Co are straight up jobbed out to the Funkasaurus and the “hip-hop-hippo.” Tensai wins it w/a splash.
WINNERS: TENSAI/BRODUS CLAY
After the match, Rosa gets up in Tensai’s face, but is sent packing by some nifty double-teaming by Naomi/Cameron.
And we go to break…
After the break, the Shield make their way to the ring. They answer the challenge of Cena, Sheamus, and Ryback by calling them out. They cut a promo about Cena failing everyday and how Cena will fail again at Elimination Chamber. Their problem is “The John Cena Problem.” He lives in a bubble with no consequences. That’s not the real world. And he’s laid the groundwork for an entire generation of superstars to be just like him. The Shield will undo a decade of injustice, and invite their opponents to “breath as much fresh air as possible.” They stand around in defiance for a few moments… then the lights go out. When they come back on, Cena and company are each fighting a member of the Shield. After a wild brawl, the Shield take a powder, and Cena’s team smile and slap hands w/the fans.
We get a recap of Heyman’s resignation and Punk talking him out of it. The Rock will be here later tonight, and Alberto Del Rio makes his way to ringside w/Ricardo Rodriguez.
And break…
WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION ALBERTO DEL RIO VS DAMIEN SANDOW
Sandow comes out to berate Nashville (the sight of tonight’s show) for listening to Country Music. Ricardo introduces ADR with the full support of the crowd. Sandow starts off strong with kicks, knees, and a Russian leg-sweep/”elbow of disdain” combo, but misses a charge and Del Rio takes over with clothes-lines, a tilt-a-whirl back-breaker, and a thrust-kick for two. Del Rio gets the “Si” chant going and ens this surprisingly quickly w/the arm-breaker.
WINNER: ALBERTO DEL RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRIO!
Alberto cuts a promo, inviting Big Show to pack up his bus and go to Mexico, while he goes to Wrestlemania after their match at Elimination Chamber.
WWE Intercontinental Champion Wade Barrett makes his way to the ring for a match w/Kofi Kingston, but is jumped from behind by Bo Dallas. Barrett is down as we go to break.
WWE INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPION WADE BARRETT VS KOFI KINGSTON
The match is basically Kofi’s speed and striking ability vs Wade’s muscle and brawling tactics. Recurring theme in the match is both men ducking each others high-spots. Kofi dives after Wade. Wade catches Kofi’s head in the ring apron and gets the three with the bull-hammer elbow.
WINNER: WADE BARRETT
And break…
WWE TAG TEAM CHAMPION KANE VS DOLPH ZIGGLER
Kane starts off in control with big right hands and tossing Ziggler around as we go to break…
We come back and Kane in still in control, until it spills outside. Big E distracts Kane and Ziggler sends him into the guardrail. Kane beats the ten count. The match quickly goes back/forth with each man hitting one big spot after another, until Kane goes up top. AJ jumps on the ring to get a distraction, Kane misses the clothesline, Ziggler sends AJ into Big E’s arms, and his distraction allows Kane to hit the choke-slam for three and the last spot in the Chamber.
WINNER: KANE
When we come back, our main event… a promo by The Rock.
We’re back with a look at the Elimination Chamber match itself and…FINALLY, THE ROCK HAS COME OUT TO DO A PROMO!
Story Time! The Rock regales us all with a story about how, when he was 15, his family moved to Tennessee. He was already 6’4′ and 220 lbs. and not getting any action because girls thought he was a undercover cop. One night, he’s in a bar, and buys a car from a crackhead for $40. After driving for a while, he finds a second crackhead in the car and kicks him out, then abandons the car in a Burger King parking lot at 2 a.m. because he suspected it was stolen. The moral of the story…
1. Don’t buy a car from a crackhead.
2. Don’t be like the Rock at 15, doing all the stuff you shouldn’t.
Rock then talks about being 25 and wrestling at used car dealerships for $40 a night, and dreaming of someday being WWE champion, just like he will be, after Elimination Chamber.
Punk’s music hits, and he’s out with Paul Heyman. Rock compares them to characters form “Twilight,” (Fat werewolf/Homeless Vampire,) and challenges Punk to “just bring it.” Punk strolls down to the ring, fakes changing his mind, and storms the ring. Punk actually had Rock on the defensive, until Rock hit the “Smackdown” (Spine-buster) on him. Rock goes for the “Peoples’ Elbow,” but Heyman trips him up. Punk hits the GTS on Rock, and leaves with the belt.
“Whenever you Bring it, Because it’s mine, I’ll just take it.” – C.M. Punk
I’ve read the matches (non-spoiler version) ahead of time, and kill… me… now. This does not look good, people. There’s one or two on the card that look passable. But I must warn you, there will be much FFW content on this debacle. Unless you like immobile big guys that can’t really do anything in the ring. If that’s the case, enjoy! Not me, though. Ugghhh… It is hopping time… more like skipping time. Oh well, maybe they’ll make up for it with a whimsical Hornswoggle and Natalya cover of “Dueling Banjos” using flatulance instead of the five string percussive chording hybrid of an instrument? Fuck.
We start with the recap of last week. Cena announces his challenge for the WWE title and gets beat down by the Shield, along with Ryback and Sheamus. Vince catches Paul Heyman in his lie and gets F5’d by Brock Lesnar before he can fire Heyman.
We open with C.M. Punk walking down to the ring, he walks up to a young fan and fakes giving him a “High-five” so he can snatch his “it’s my birthday” sign, and wreck it. Punk commanders a mike and orders Justin Roberts into the ring, forcing him to announce Punk as “The Peoples Champion.” He then denies over-reacting to his situation, clamming he acted the way anyone else would act…
“If you think I over-reacted… it’s clear to me you’ve never held anything as special as the WWE championship… in fact I doubt anyone in this building has ever done anything great in their entire life.” – C.M. Punk
Punk claims he was “screwed” and the title in its “physical form” stolen from him. He then addresses the video of Heyman with Maddox and the Shield from last week. He goes to fans in the front row, calling one “four eyes,” another “sweet-heart,” and asking Michael Cole if any of them saw him in the video. They each say no. Back in the ring, Punk compares Heymans claim that he wasn’t in the video, against Vince McMahon, who put HIS video on HIS Titan-tron on HIS television show…
“He is going to Doctor a video and he is going to play it on his television show, and all of you mindless, no-good, low down, fat, stupid, lazy people are gonna eat it up.” – C.M. Punk
Punk goes on to say Vince “deserved” to have his hip broken by Brock Lesnar, claiming it was Karma. Punk invites anyone to step up and try shut him up, promising to punch their face and toss them back on the side of the railing they belong. Punk continues his tirade until Smackdown GM Booker T, interrupts him. Booker has a miserable time trying to call Vicki “managing supervisor,” and informs him she allowed him to come out and decide Punk’s fate. Booker decides we can decide Punk’s opponent for tonight. We have to download the WWE app and vote for a “Wrestlemania Rematch.”
Our choices are…
Randy Orton
Rey Mysterio
Chris Jericho
Booker is out, and we go to Michael Cole giving us a tutorial on using the app. We’re promised an “epic announcement” about the hall of fame later tonight, and Ryback makes his entrance as we go to break.
Back from break, we get Randy Orton on WWE RAW-active, mentioning how perfect it would be to shut Punk up with an RKO, right here in Atlanta, the sight of his Wrestlemania victory over Punk.
WWE U.S. CHAMPION ANTONIO CESARO VS. RYBACK
Cesaro makes his way to the ring waving the U.S. flag, as Cole makes a quick mention of his Wrestlemania “streak.”
Cesaro starts off with an amateur style go-behind, Ryback muscles out and tosses Cesaro w/a fireman’s carry-like lift. Ryback pummels Cesaro in the corner, Cesaro fights back with a head-butt. Ryback gets a hip-toss, drops the leg across the face of Cesaro, and gets a two-count. Ryback scoops him up and hangs him in a “tree-of-woe” position in the corner. Ryback stomps him for a few moments until the ref orders a break, and Cesaro rolls outside the ring. Ryback goes out and tosses Cesaro back in. Cesaro catches Ryback with a stomp to the head, and continues stomping. Cesaro picks Ryback up and hits a short-knee, European upper-cut, and a whip into the ropes. Ryback reverses it and hits a Thez-press. Ryback bounces Cesaro off the mat a few times and hoists him up by the head, tossing him into a corner. Ryback charges, Cesaro moves, Ryback hits the corner and Cesaro hits a clothesline to the back. Both men are down as we go to break.
Back from break, Cesaro has a headlock but Ryback shoots him into the ropes and takes him down hard just by standing there. He hits a few clotheslines then hoists Cesaro up, and plants him down (D-Lo Brown style.) Cesaro rolls out and walks off. Ryback goes after him, hits a clothesline to the back. Shot to the face by Ryback, and he rolls Cesaro into the ring. Cesaro catches Ryback by the head and drops down, pulling Ryback neck-first into the rope. Sliding kick to the leg by Cesaro and Ryback meets the edge of the ring with his face. Cesaro, on the outside sends Ryback into the post, then into the stairs. Ryback just beats the ten-count back into the ring. Cesaro pummels Ryback in the corner, the holding Ryback by the head, goes up on the top rope, plants his knee on Ryback’s shoulder, and shoves off, driving Ryback backwards into the matt with his knee on Ryback’s face. Cesaro gets a one-count. Cesaro charges in, but meets a knee-lift, an elbow, and takes a huge back-body drop, followed by a “Meat-hook” clothesline. Cesaro tries to escape through the crowd. Ryback catches him and puts him back in the ring. Cesaro hits a huge boot to the face, but Ryback catches him by the leg when he tries a second time. Ryback hits a Power-bomb and the “Shell-shock” for the pin.
WINNER: RYBACK
We get another plug for the app as we’re reminded we can choose Punk’s opponent for his Wrestlemania rematch. We go back to last week to see John Cena challenge for the WWE championship, and get beat down by the Shield. Sheamus runs in, and gets beat down. Ryback runs in, and gets beat down. We take a special look at the Shield, when we come back.
Back from break, we see Chilli from hip hop R&B group TLC in the crowd tonight. We then see Rey Mysterio on “WWE Active” doing a promo w/Matt Stryker, saying he should face Punk because he’s the only one who’s ever taken his hair. We then get a video package on the Shield, including a montage of beat downs on WWE superstars. We go backstage where Vicki Guerro is with Cena. She’s heard about his plan to confront the Shield tonight, and compares it to the movie “Death Wish.” Cena reminds her he won the Royal Rumble, he’s going to Wrestlemania, and the Shield needs to be stopped tonight.
We get another look at the video package for Trish Stratus, going into the HOF, and are reminded of the “epic announcement” later tonight, as we go to break.
We’re back, and this time it’s Jericho on WWE Active, saying it’s our second chance to see who the best in the world is.
Santino Morella hits the ring and Booker T joins Cole and Lawler at ringside, followed by the “Real American” Jack Swagger.
JACK SWAGGER VS SANTINO MORELLA
We start with a lock up, and Swagger puts Morella down hard. Swagger takes him back into the ropes and hits a knee. Swagger whips Santino into the ropes and Santino starts his “power-walking” bit, but Swagger kills it with a knee, followed by a tackle to the leg. Swagger pummels Santino in the corner but misses a charge. Morella ducks a big right and hits some punches. Swagger blocks a hip toss, but Morella ducks the clothesline and hits a few rights. Santino tries a whip, but Swagger no-sells, knees Santino, hits the Swagger-Bomb, and the “Patriot Act,” for the win. (Patriot Act = Ankle lock.)
We’re reminded of our chance to vote for Punk’s opponent as we go to break.
We come back with a promo for Wrestlemania, and we get an apology from the WWE. Apparently, so many people voted, the system crashed.
WHC Alberto Del Rio makes his entrance as we get a recap of his feud w/Big Show, starting with the attack on RAW and ending with the attack on Ricardo Rodriguez on Smackdown
WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION ALBERTO DEL RIO VS CODY RHODES
Cody comes in strong with a flurry of punches and an Irish whip into the corner, Del Rio meets him with an elbow, and goes up top in the corner, catches Cody behind the head w/his feet and takes him down w/a Lucha style head-scissors, followed by body-drop and a kick to the back. Cody slaps Del Rio in the face, Del Rio responds by pummeling him in the corner and with an Inziguri to the shoulder for two. Cody throws a wide-kick to the leg that stops Del Rio. Cody gives Del Rio the knee-breaker, and takes over, stomping Del Rio into the corner. Cody hits a head-butt but misses a charge. Del Rio hits a clothesline, a tilt-a-whirl back-breaker, and a thrust-kick to the face for a two-count. Del Rio gets a “Si” chant going; signaling for the arm-breaker, but Cody shoves him off and hits the “Beautiful Disaster” kick off the second rope for two. Cody charges in, Del Rio hooks the arm-breaker, (not smoothly,) and gets the submission.
WINNER: WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION ALBERTO DEL RIO
Alberto gets the mike and apologizes for all the time he spent looking down on us. He calls Big Show a “bully” and a “Monster,” and promises the Big Show will pay for what he did to Ricardo Rodriguez, and he will be a champion for everyone who works to put food on the table.
Big Show comes up on the Tron, challenging Del Rio for a rematch for the title, from a hotel room in an undisclosed location. He says he’s staying away to protect Del Rio from his rage, and has Booker sending him the contract. Show warns Del Rio that if he tries to find him, or shows up here, Show will give him a worse beating than the one he gave Ricardo.
Jerry Lawler overcomes a few flubbed lines to announce Chris Jericho as the winner of the RAW Active poll, and C.M. Punk’s opponent tonight.
And we go to break.
We come back with a recap of team Rey/Cara defeating team Hell No (Bryan/Kane) in a non-title match on the last Smackdown.
Backstage, we see Daniel Bryan up in Kane’s face, blaming him for the loss. Kane accuses Bryan of not being able to take care of himself. Bryan says he’ll do just that in his match tonight, and tells Kane to stay backstage, so as not to ruin his chances at getting a spot in the Elimination Chamber. Kane says “fine.”
REY MYSTERIO VS WWE TAG TEAM CHAMPION DANIEL BRYAN
They lock up. Bryan hits a knee, a snap-mare, and a kick to the back. Bryan hits another kick and gets three consecutive one-counts. Mysterio bridges up, catches Bryan on his feet. Bryan pulls him up, Mysterio hooks a body-scissors, into an arm-drag, hits a dropkick, and knees to Bryan’s face. Bryan pushes him off, Mysterio ducks a clothesline and goes for a head scissors, but Bryan drops Mysterio chest-first into his knees. Bryan gets a two-count, a stomp, and a wrist-lock/arm-bar. Mysterio grabs the top rope and flips out. Mysterio hits some fore-arm shots, Bryan hits an elbow. Bryan sends Mysterio up over the top rope, but Mysterio holds on, and hits a shoulder-block to the stomach. Mysterio goes to the top rope but Bryan takes out the leg, and Mysterio is in the “tree of woe” position. Bryan hits some short shoulder-blocks, but misses a charge and goes shoulder first into the post. Bryan on the outside and both men down as we go to break.
We come back with Bryan controlling the arm of Mysterio. Mysterio hits a few fore-arms, but Bryan takes him down in a German suplex, bends the arm, pinning the palm to the matt, and stomping the up-raised elbow. Bryan works the arm and tosses Rey out of the ring. Rey rolls up on his feet, but Bryan meets him with the dropkick. Bryan tries to dive into Mysterio but meets a fore-arm. Mysterio hits a dive off the top rope, hits two head-scissors, rolling through a sunset-flip attempt on the second, and hits a kick to the head for a two-count. Bryan blocks a “619” attempt, Mysterio rolls out of an imperfect “No-lock” and hits it on the second attempt. Bryan dodges a “drop of the dime” and locks in the “No-Lock” for the tap.
WINNER: DANIEL BRYAN
As Bryan celebrates, MARK HENRY MAKES HIS COMEBACK! Henry meets Bryan on the way to the ring and takes him out with no problem. Henry hits a “spine-buster” on Rey. Sin Cara tries to save Rey, but takes “the World’s Strongest Slam.” Rey is up and fights back, but ends up taking a WSS and a splash off the middle rope. Henry walks off, jaw-jacking with the crowd.
Punk vs. Jericho, after the break
We come back to Bryan demanding an apology from Kane, for not helping him out with Henry.
“Daniel, I’m hurt by your tone. Word’s hurt, and there’s nothing more powerful than our friendship.” – Kane
“Do you mean that?” – Daniel Bryan
“HELL NO!” – KANE
After that, we get a recap of Vince busting Heyman, and Brock busting Vince’s hip.
(It goes on a LOT longer than it needs to.)
Later tonight, Heyman is on MizTV.
We go live to Big Show’s hotel room where he’s on the phone, waiting for the contract. He answers the door for room service and the waiter stands there waiting for a tip.
“Get a better job.” – Big Show
Sheamus makes his entrance and his match is up next, after the break.
We’re back, getting another recap of the Shield attack on Cena, Ryback, and Sheamus, as well as a reminder Cena calls them out later tonight.
SHEAMUS VS WWE TAG TEAM CHAMPION KANE
As the match begins, we’re told Daniel Bryan will be joining Randy Orton and Mysterio in the elimination chamber. The big men lock up, and force each other into the corner. Sheamus beats on Kane with fists, whips him into the corner. Kane hits a clothesline. Kane beats Sheamus down in the corner, whips him into the ropes. Sheamus hits a kick to the face but runs into a side-slam. Kane pounds and stomps on Sheamus, then tries to pull him out of the ring. Sheamus kicks him into the guardrail. They brawl a little on the outside. Sheamus tosses Kane back in the ring, but walks into a big right hand. Sheamus fights back and hits the “Irish Curse” back-breaker. Kane is back up first, but Sheamus takes him into the corner with a shoulder tackle, followed by a knee-lift, and a double axe-handle takes Kane over the ropes. Kane lands on his feet. Sheamus ties Kane up in the ropes and starts the fore-arm pummeling. Kane escapes and puts Sheamus down. Bryan runs out and gets into an argument with Kane. Kane shoves him off the ring by the neck, tells him to stay out of this, and walks into a Brogue-Kick, giving Sheamus the three-count.
WINNER: SHEAMUS
Bryan apologizes while smiling as we go to break.
RAW slam of the week: GUESS! (Lesnar killing Vince)
Welcome to Miz TV! Miz is trying to recap the attack on Vince (again) but Heyman interrupts, not wanting someone like Miz to soil his reputation. Heyman attempts to give Vince his “best wishes” on his hip surgery, but Miz interrupts him. Heyman denies having anything to do with Brock’s attack on Vince. Miz brings up the tape with him, Maddox, and the Shield. Miz calls him the biggest liar he’s met in his life, Heyman starts asking questions about Punk getting screwed and winning back the belt. Miz and Heyman are up in each other’s face, when Managing Supervisor Vicki Guerro decides to interrupt. She admits to signing back Brock Lesnar, and expresses her grief over what happened to Vince. As she starts to cry, Paul asks for a moment of silence, Vicki suggests they share a prayer, and Miz calls BS on the whole thing. Lesnar comes out, kills Miz, wrecks the set, he and Heyman walk off.
And we go to break…
We come back to a replay of the Miz TV chaos and a confirmation that Brock is under contract to WWE. Randy Orton makes his entrance, followed by Wade Barrett. As Barrett makes his way to the ring, we get a picture-in-picture promo from Bo Dallas and a recap of their feud, including Bo’s upset win and the attack on Smackdown.
WWE INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPION WADE BARRETT VS RANDY ORTON
Barrett beats down Orton in the corner. Orton reverses an Irish Whip and hits the Thez-press. Orton pummels Barrett in the head and hits two fore-arm uppercuts. Barrett reverses a whip but Orton hits the clothesline, and Barrett rolls out the ring. Outside the ring, Orton bounces Barrett’s head twice on the apron, and drops him back-first into the top of the guard rail. Orton rolls him back into the ring for a two-count. Orton stomps away on Barrett. Barrett tries catching Orton with the clothesline but it gets botched. Barrett recovers with a knee, a suplex, and a “do-over,” clothes lining Orton over the ropes to the floor. Barrett goes outside, kicks Orton in the head, and bounces Orton’s head on the apron. Barrett rolls Orton back in the ring for two, drops a couple elbows on him, and hooks the chin-lock. Orton fights out of it, hits two clothes-lines, ducks one by Wade, and hits the scoop-power-slam. Orton hits the second rope DDT and teases an RKO, but Barrett rolls outside. Orton rolls him back in, but Barrett hits the spiraling side-slam for two. Barrett tries to hit the waste-land, Orton elbows out. Orton tries an RKO, Barrett shoves him off. Orton dodges a charging kick in the corner, and hits the RKO for three.
WINNER: RANDY ORTON
After the break, Punk vs. Jericho (for really realz this time)
We come back from break to a quick promo for “Fandango” coming soon to WWE.
C.M. PUNK VS CHRIS JERICHO
After playing to the crowd, the two men lock up and Punk gets in a knee followed by a chop. Punk mocks the crowd, letting Jericho take over with three big chops, an elbow, another chop, and a big suplex. Jericho hits a fist-drop and goes for a cover. Punk grabs a leg and trips Jericho down, taking over with vicious stomps. Punk gets a chop and a knee to the gut for two. Punk locks the arm, Jericho gets to his feet and pushes Punk back into the corner. Jericho fights his way free, Punk reverses a whip and meets the boot of Jericho. Jericho charges Punk and takes a kick to the stomach. Punk tries a tornado DDT, But Jericho shoves him off. Jericho takes Punk over the ropes and out to the floor with a clothesline. Punk hits the announcers table. Jericho hits a baseball-slide drop-kick, sending Punk back into the table. Jericho goes for the “ricochet-off –the-second-rope-in-the-corner” drop-kick, but Punk catches him, and pulls him neck-first into the ropes. Jericho is down and Punk laughs as we go to break
Back to the action, Punk hits a belly-to-back suplex, and three leg-drops to the back of Jericho’s head, for a two count. Punk locks an under-hook face-lock on Jericho. Jericho gets to his feet, Punk whips him into the corner, Jericho back-body-drops him over the ropes, Punk lands on the apron and tries for a flying clothesline, but eats the mat as Jericho side-steps him. Jericho hits two shoulder-blocks, gets sent over the top rope by Punk, but lands on his feet, climbs to the top, and connects with a fist off the top rope. Jericho hits a boot to the gut and the face-plant bulldog on Punk. Jericho tries a Lion-Sault, Punk gets the knees up, but Jericho grabs the legs and tries for the walls of Jericho. Punk kicks him off, into the corner. Punk misses a running knee, and Jericho hits some head-shots before taking Punk off the top rope with the “hurriconrana.” Jericho gets a two-count, goes for another Lion-Sault but Punk gets a shot to the back. Punk has Jericho up on his shoulders and tries for the GTS, but Jericho rolls out of it and schoolboys Punk into a “Walls of Jericho,” attempt. Punk hooks his head for a small package, Jericho reverses it, Punk kicks out, Jericho tries a clothesline, but Punk catches the arm and twists it into a neck-breaker for two. Punk hits the knee-lift in the corner, a short clothes-line, but takes too much time up top and misses the “Macho Man” elbow-drop. Jericho’s Lion-Sault connects for two. Punk hits a SICK kick to the head for another two. Punk locks in the “Anaconda-Vice” but Jericho makes the ropes.
“THIS IS AWESOME!” – The Crowd
Jericho hits two shoulder blocks from the outside and goes up top, but Punk kicks his leg out from under him and goes for the GTS. Jericho catches Punk’s leg on the way down and hooks the “Walls of Jericho!” Punk makes it to the ropes. Punk tries to lift Jericho, he can’t. Jericho goes for the legs; Punk twists him into the middle turnbuckle. Punk sends Jericho shoulder first into the post; and hits the GTS for a three count.
WINNER: C.M. PUNK
After the match, we get the huge Hall of Fame announcement. Our next inductee is BRUNO SAMARTINO! We get a package of Bruno’s career highlights, including winning the WWWF title in 48 seconds, coming back from a broken neck after three months, and meeting the Pope.
And we go to break..
We come back to Matt Striker interviewing Punk backstage. Punk calls The Rock a thief and says the title of champion belongs to him. He’s the best in the world, and he proves it every night.
From that, we go to a video package about Rock winning the WWE championship after ten long years, featuring a montage of headlines and TV spots about the Rock.
John Cena is backstage being interviewed about calling out the Shield. Cena talks about how the time to laugh and joke and smile comes to an end when you get picked on and pushed around. Tonight, he pushes back.
And break…
We come back to Big Show, eating, live from his hotel, and complaining on the phone about how long it’s taking to get the contract over to him. Show answers the door for a guy with the contract. While Show reads it over and signs it, the guy keeps trying to tell him something. Show refuses to listen. Show opens the door to let the guy out, and comes face to face with Alberto Del Rio. They have a vicious fight in the hallway that ends with Del Rio blinding/knocking out the Big Show with a fire extinguisher. Two men get out of the elevator, looking confused…
“It’s okay; my friend just had some bad Mexican food.” – Alberto Del Rio
Del Rio assures them he will get Show some help, and leaves Big Show with a wink.
Back in the ring, Brad Maddox is here, asking for a mike. He claims Heyman took advantage of him, and claims he is an “innocent.” He takes credit for giving McMahon the video of him with Heyman and the Shield, and calls himself the “hero,” of this story. He says it’s gonna be him and NOT Cena who dishes out justice to the Shield, and calls them out. They come down, admitting they took money from Heyman and that they they’re gonna enjoy beating him down. After Maddox is decimated, Cena makes his way to the ring through the crowd, followed by Ryback and Sheamus. The Shield attempt to flee, but the entire WWE locker room cut them off. The Shield is trapped, back to back in the ring. Cena and friends move in and the fight breaks out, for two and a half minutes. The Shield retreat as the show closes.
RYBACK DEF. TITUS O’NEIL – Total domination by Ryback, until Darien Young interfered by grabbing Ryback’s ankle. O’Neil hit one inverted Power Bomb for a brief one-count. Still, the match ended the same way all Ryback matches end; power-bomb, shell-shock, three-count.
After the match, Ryback refused to leave the ring until he got his hands on WWE Heavyweight Champion C.M. Punk, Paul Heyman, or the three men who jumped him two days in a row. A line of security guards come-out, but Ryback tossed the biggest one first, and the rest scattered.
RAW Supervisor Vicki Guerro came out to order him out of the ring, Ryback told her to shut up (which won him a ton of new fans,) and demanded revenge. Vicki gave him a match against Punk at TLC. Ryback demanded that it be made a TLC match (Tables, Ladders, and Chairs.) Vicki agreed, and Ryback left the ring.
ALBERTO DEL RIO DEF. THE GREAT KAHLI – This match was set up with a pre-recorded backstage segment, where Rosa Mendes demanded an apology from Hornswoggle, for squirting water in her face, with trick flowers last week. Hornswoggle called her conceited, and Alberto Del Rio stepped in, offering to beat him up. Kahli stepped in to scare him off. Kahli actually dominates most of the match, but a distraction by Roberto Rodriguez (Del Rio’s personal ring announcer,) sets up Kahli for an attack from behind. Del Rio hits the arm-bar for a win by submission.
TAMINA DEF. ALICIA FOX – Basically, Tamina slaps Alicia around and ends this with a splash of the top, for a three-count.
INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPION KOFI KINGSTON DEF. TENSAI – Wade Barrett, Kofi’s next challenger, Wade Barrett joins the commentary team at ringside. Tensai’s size advantage gives him an edge for a good amount of time, but Kofi hits a big kick and a flying body press for the three-count.
After the match, Barrett walked into the ring, gave Kofi the title belt, and then walked off without incident.
REY MYSTERIO DEF. WWE TAG-TEAM CHAMPION DANIEL BRYAN – One of the best matches on TV this year. Both men relied on their agility and quick last-second escapes and counters to keep the tide turning back and forth. Bryan focused on beat-downs and wearing down the arm, Mysterio countered with bursts of fast-paced offense. Match ends with a 619/Dropping a Dime combo by Mysterio for a pin on Bryan.
JOHN CENA DEF. DOLPH ZIGGLER – This match was set up after a segment with Vicki Guerro offering Cena and AJ matching bathrobes (see below.) People, who criticize Cena for his “five moves of doom,” need to acknowledge Ziggler does the same thing (if not everybody in WWE,). That said, this was a good, solid match. One point of contention is Cena NO-SELLING the “bad knee,” until a specific spot at the end. Going for the “five knuckle shuffle,” Cena stumbles out of the ring, the ref and another WWE official check to see if he can continue, while Ziggler exposes a turnbuckle. AJ runs out to stop him and Vicki runs out to pull AJ off the ring. The ladies have a stare-down while Ziggler goes after Cena with his MiTB briefcase. Cena ducks Ziggler’s swing and hooks the “AA,” for a three-count. Cena celebrates with AJ, FORGETTING ALL ABOUT THE BAD KNEE.
SHEAMUS DEF. U.S. CHAMPION ANTONIO CESARO – This was a straight up brawl between two big workhorses. Highlight of the match is Cesaro catching Sheamus and hoisting him up, and dropping him hard. Picture a combo of Lex Luger’s “torture rack” and Ryback’s “Shell-Shock.” Match ends with Sheamus escaping the “neutralizer” with a back-drop and a Brogue-kick to Cesaro. Cesaro goes out to the floor and gets counted out.
World Heavyweight Champion Big Show comes out with a chair. Sheamus grabs the mike and tells Big Show he will be happy to retire him at TLC, and just how barbaric he can be. Show responds by destroying the chair with his bare hands.
DAMIEN SANDOW DEF. ZACK RYDER – Not much more than filler. Ryder had a decent showing here, but the match ends with Sandow using his neck-breaker variant to get the three-count.
Side Note: Ring announcer Justin Roberts waited for Zack Ryder to get in the ring before announcing him, Michael Cole slipped back into “heel” mode to give him grief about it.
WWE HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION C.M. PUNK DEF. KANE – Our Main Event for the evening. And yes, this did take the show over three hours, again. There is a weird spot in the match when Punk slides to the outside, and starts favoring his right knee. Kane was as close to Punk as THESEWORDSARETOEACHOTHER but did NOTHING to him. Kane let Punk slide back in and pull him neck first into the top rope. Now here’s the weird thing, the announcers (Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler,) never acknowledged ANY of this, even though Punk was right in front of the camera, limping and acting like he was hurt for real the whole time. It’s weird because this is, to my understanding, standard procedure when someone gets legit hurt during a match, gloss over it, don’t call it, and keep the show going. So, I have to wonder if Punk really was hurt. The match ended when the three NXT talents, Dean Ambrose, Seth Rollins, and Reigns (now called “The Shield”) came out to distract Kane. Punk hit the GTS and got the three.
After the match, the Shield teased going for Punk, but pilled on Kane. Daniel Bryan tried to make the save, but got beat down. Ryback charged down and took over on the Shield. Punk took a cheap shot at Ryback, but Ryback caught him. Ryback went for a power-bomb, but Reigns took him down with a spear. Monday Night RAW ends with C.M. Punk holding his belt in the air; and his foot on Ryback’s chest; for the second time in a week.
ANGLES AND SEGMENTS
1.) RYBACK/VICKI – Our first interview segment would have to be Vicki Guerro trying to talk Ryback out of the ring after his match (setting up his match w/Punk at TLC.) Not a shining moment for either one of them. Huge gaps between the dialogue and you could tell they didn’t talk over each other when they were supposed to. Seriously, don’t give Ryback more lines than he needs.
2.) Backstage: Hornswoggle, Rosa, Del Rio, and KHALI – Basic segment just to set up their match, seemed pretty damn elaborate for a match that wasn’t anything special.
3.) GM’S OFFICE: VICKI, HEYMAN, PUNK – Punk came in to complain about having to face Ryback, Heyman suggested Vicki was trying to compensate for her bias against Cena and AJ, and Vicki flat out accused Punk of calling in the “Shield” to cover his ass. Vicki sets up a match between Punk and the winner of a RAW-active Twitter Poll, #WWEKane or #WWEBryan (see above.) Interesting to see Punk get the shaft from a “fellow” heel; it gives Vicki an extra character dimension, and it makes you wonder what it is EVERYBODY hates about Punk.
4.) THE SHEILD SPEAKS – We see a pre-recorded interview with Michael Cole and the three NXT talents who’ve taken it on themselves to attack Ryback twice, (Ambrose, Rollin, and Reigns.) They deny any affiliation with C.M. Punk, and claim they were acting against injustice. They accused WWE of being an elaborate popularity contest, and stated that C.M. Punk had every right to celebrate his One Year anniversary as champion, arguing they would’ve done the same thing if Ryback or Cena had been champion and Punk tried to disrupt them. They declared themselves The Shield and cut the interview short. Interesting aspect; as the Shield’s mission statement seems to have themes in common with the IWC’s constant complaints about WWE.
5.) VICKI, CENA, AJ, AND ZIGGLER – Basically, Cena comes out to address the “kiss” from last week. Vicki comes out to trash AJ and present Cena with a “gift,” of matching bathrobes and to warn Cena about the inevitable implosion. She points out AJ’s relationship drama with Punk/Bryan and Kane. AJ comes out to tell off Vicki and blatantly shoves her attraction to Cena in everyone’s face. Ziggler comes out to remind everyone that he took out Cena last week in the locker room, and Cena jumped him from behind on Smackdown. Cena tries to go after him, but Vicki orders him to stop and makes a match between Ziggler and Cena later that night. The match ends with Cena getting the win. CAN WE END THIS NOW!? I am PRAYING that this is the end of the AJ “scandal,” and I will spend the rest of my life wondering WTF this was supposed to accomplish.
On paper, this was a good RAW, with a lot more actual wrestling and a lot of solid match-ups, however the angle segments really weighted down the show.
It was a festive mood in the BoredWrestlingFan studio this afternoon as the crew celebrates 1 year on the air! ThinkSoJoE, JT,
Tom Lawlor shocks the world!
G, Jorge, and former regular co-host Drowgoddess are joined by Empire State Wrestling’s Brian DeVille and Frankie Feathers to talk this week in pro wrestling. We pose the question of who was offended by the CM Punk/Paul Heyman heart attack angle on RAW. We give our thoughts on the Survivor Series – in 1992 – as well as our predictions for this year’s show. Hall of Fame candidates are discussed, and our resident RAW reviewer, Rytman, chimes in via the mixlr comments toward the end of the show. Tune in!
RYBACK DEF JTG – Total Squash; JTG is for all intents and purposes a jobber. Ryback hits the shell shock for the three-count.
ORTON DEF BARRETT – We get a re-cap of Barrett’s win on the last Smackdown. Hard-hitting match; ending with an RKO out of nowhere. Orton gets the win.
WWE TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS HELL NO DEF PRIME TIME PLAYERS – Side note; the PTP were wearing ALL Pink for this match. I don’t know if that was for the Breast Cancer campaign, or they got heat from the front office. Team Hell No wins despite arguing with each other.
WWE I-C CHAMPION KOFI KINGSTON DEF WWE U.S. CHAMPION ANTONIO CESARO BY DQ – Miz joins the announce team for this one, and distracts Kofi, allowing Cesaro to get a shot in. Kofi tosses Cesaro right on top of Miz a few seconds later. Miz attacks Kofi, getting Cesaro DQ’d. R-Truth runs out to save Kofi from the double team by Miz/Cesaro.
3MB DEF CO-BRO – Santino knocks Drew McIntyre off the ring w/a flying “Cobra” shot, but this gives Heath Slater the opening to hit a swinging neck-breaker with the leg for a pin fall.
AJ DEF BETH PHEONIX – AJ wins with a small package, but Vicki comes out, saying she demands better of her roster, so after distracting AJ long enough for Beth to hit a clothesline…
BETH PHEONIX DEF AJ – With the Glam Slam, for a three-count.
RHODES SCHOLARS DEF SIN-STERIO – Sandow hits the neck-breaker on Sin Cara after a three way brawl on the outside with Cara, Cody Rhodes and Mysterio.
ALBERTO DEL RIO DEF JUSTIN GABRIEL – ADR locks in an arm-bar submission, and nothing much else to see here people.
BACKSTAGE SEGMENTS AND PROMOS
We opened with a recap of referee Brian Maddox screwing Ryback out of the WWE title by helping defending champ C.M. Punk w/a low blow and a fast count.
WWE champ C.M. Punk hobbles to the ring with Paul Heyman and his belt in tow. He denies having anything to do with Maddox and points out Maddox screwing him over with a bad call two weeks ago in a tag team match. Punk runs down a list of enemies and victories, saying he is kryptonite to resident “superman” John Cena, and declares himself “In-erasable,” (in regards to WWE wanting to erase him from history.) Mick Foley is out next. Punk compares Foley to Hurricane Sandy, and Foley craps on Punk making light of a tragedy. He gets the cheap pop for Charlotte North Carolina, and tells Punk he blew the choice Foley gave him a few weeks ago. He yells at Punk about tradition, to which Punk responds by showing Foley his bandages.
“THIS IS WHAT YOUR TRADITION DOES.”– C.M. Punk
Foley challenges Punk to a traditional Survivor Series match, Team Foley vs. Team Punk. Punk accepts, and Ryback comes out for his match. Punk and Heyman bail.
Backstage; Vicki is interviewing AJ. Seems the board of directors wants Vicki to consider hiring her back as a Diva. Vicki takes the opportunity to torment AJ with the “c” word.
After the Hell-no/PTP match, Vicki comes out to address the crowd about the Cena/AJ “scandal.” Cena comes out to confront Vicki. Vicki says she has video proof of their “relationship.” We are shown in order…
Recap:
Cena making a joke about going to “In & Out” Burger w/AJ, Cena responds that it was a joke.
Cena hugging AJ after she resigned last week, Cena claims he was comforting a friend.
Cena and AJ having dinner together, Cena claims they were discussing his condition and return.
Cena and AJ getting into the elevator, Cena claims he just walked her to her door.
Vicki calls John full of excuses and starts ragging on AJ about flirting with John. John cuts her off, and out comes Dolph Ziggler. Ziggler says this is all because of John’s “sophomoric urges.” Cena shoves Ziggler on his posterior and we go to break.
After the Kofi/Cesaro match, Vicki goes back to AJ (Yes, this was stretched out into three segments.) After more ragging, Vicki offers AJ back her job if she’ll just admit to thinking John is attractive. AJ refuses to compromise Cena and tries to walk off. Vicki calls her back, and decides to give her back her job (MAKING ALL THIS A COMPLETE WASTE OF TIME.) She gives AJ a match with Beth Phoenix (see above,) later that night and warns AJ that if she ever touches her again, she’s gone. AJ says thanks, and skips off smiling.
After the Divas match, we get a word from Sheamus. He’s bummed about losing the title, but doesn’t regret anything because he was in the best fight he’s had since coming to the WWE. He promises to bring the fight to Big Show and next time, he’ll win the war and the world’s championship. Big Show comes out to gloat and rub the belt in Sheamus’ face. He calls Sheamus a “Ginger Snap.” Sheamus responds…
“Have you ever seen a Ginger Snap?” – Sheamus
Sheamus follows that up with an EFFORTLESS “White Noise” on Big Show. Sheamus walks off while Big Show recovers.
After a look at Sports Business Journal’s piece on Wrestlemania, we go backstage with Cena and AJ talking about their night. Cena leaves and AJ gives him the same stare she used to give C.M. Punk. (RUN JOHN! THIS ENDS BADLY!) Vicki spies on them from a few feet back. She starts after AJ but is interrupted by Beth Phoenix, who thanks her for restarting the match. Vicki resents being put in that position, and FIRES BETH! Side Note: Sara Del Ray gets a glimpse into a possible alternate future.
After the Sinsterio/Rhodes Scholars match, we’re backstage with Foley and Kaitlyn gushing about WWE 13 coming out Tuesday, when Heyman makes himself known. They hype up their presentation on their Survivor Series teams later tonight.
After a break, we get a video package of the WWE’s Breast Cancer Awareness Promotion with the Susan G. Komen foundation. After a lengthy rundown of all they’ve been doing, we get a ceremony in the ring where John Cena presents SGK reps with a check for ONE MILLION DOLLARS.
You know, I gotta admit. This was something. For whatever reason, WWE committed to this and did something really positive. I give them kudos.
After the Del Rio/Gabriel match and a break, we get our Main Event of the evening; Punk and Foley introducing their Survivor Series teams. Heyman has assembled the Miz, Team Rhodes Scholars, and Alberto Del Rio. Foley has Kofi, Team Hell No, Randy Orton, and RYBACK as the big surprise. This ends in a wild brawl (of course,) and Punk bails on his team while Ryback stares at him. After passing up the chance to end the damn show for three minutes, Ryback crushes Cody in the Shellshock, and we end.
SIN CARA/REY MYSTERIO VS RHODES SCHOLARS – Right off the bat, we get into the action. As Rey makes his way out, we’re told by Michael Cole that RAW GM AJ Lee has been called to an emergency meeting at WWE HQ. Sandow and Rhodes win when Sandow blocks the ref from a three count. Sandow and Cara spill outside while Cody hits the crossroads for the three.
It could just be me, but Cara looked like he was having an off night. The double teams from the masked men seemed awkward, and not as quick or crisp as you’d expect.
After the match, Team Hell No (Kane and Bryan) cut a promo on their new no. 1 contenders and Kane pulled Bryan behind him, grabbing him by the face, followed up by a pyro spot
We come back from break with a “Tout” by Zack Ryder about working the first ever WWE Egyptian tour. We get a look at pics and videos.
INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPION KOFI KINGSTON VS MICHAEL MIGILLICUTTY – The Miz joins the commentary team to scout Kofi; however Cole and J.R. put the focus on his match later tonight with Ryback, and the Egyptian tour. Kofi wins it with “Trouble in Paradise.”
We go to a recap of last Monday’s contract signing when Cena gave Ryback the title-shot at Hell in the Cell, and Ryback gave Punk the “shell-shock.”
Back from break and we get a shot of Super Bowl Champions the New York Giants before Cena comes out to “really NOT pro-Cena,” crowd. Cole reminds us to go to WWE.com and help the Susan G. Komen foundation fight breast cancer by buying special John Cena merchandise. (100 % goes to the charity.) He cuts a promo about Ryback and Punk at HitC, putting over Ryback as a no-nonsense ass-kicker, promising a Ryback win.
C.M. Punk comes out w/Paul Heyman. Punk calls Cena on his predictable pandering to the Giants, saying he prefers the San Francisco brand. Punk says he’s the best in the world and promises he will win at HitC. He compliments Cena on his new role as “cheerleader” for Ryback and credits Cena for realizing he can’t beat him. Cena responds by saying he’s clear to wrestle and challenges Punk to step up/in the ring. Punk walks all the way to the edge of the apron, Heyman begging him not to do it every step, and backs out with the belt.
We go to break with another mention of AJ Lee tweeting about her emergency meeting with WWE HQ.
U.S. CHAMPION ANTONIO CESARO VS JUSTIN GABRIEL – Cole mentions how Cesaro said no American can beat him, and how last week he disrespected the Sun Records building, Elvis, and Jerry Lee Lewis. End of the match is Gabriel and Cesaro on the top rope, trading hits until Cesaro falls, and Gabriel hits the 450 splash FOR THE WIN! Cole and J.R. sell this as a huge upset and suggest Gabriel might be getting a shot at the U.S. title.
Backstage; a limo rolls in and Vince McMahon himself gets out w/RAW GM A.J. Lee in tow. (It looks like a kidnapping.)
Back from break, Vince has AJ in the ring. Vince tells us about AJ being called in by the Board of Directors, and gives the mike to AJ. AJ officially resigns as GM based on false allegations of “fraternizing” with a WWE superstar. AJ gives an awesome speech about how grateful she is to the WWE for giving a poor girl who grew up with nothing a chance, and how she went from having nothing to being the boss. Vince gives her a hug.
Out comes Paul Heyman, ragging on AJ for being a “Jersey Girl,” and complimenting her back-handedly for overcoming he faults. He nominates himself as new GM and gets shot down by Vince. We are introduced to new WWE “managing supervisor,” Vicki Guerro.
What the hell is a “managing supervisor?”
After Vicki thanks the WWE for the opportunity, Heyman tries to work his charm on her, and tries to get Punk out of his match with Ryback. Vicki shoots him down and makes tonight’s Main Event a champion vs. champion, lumberjack match with Sheamus against C.M. Punk. Heyman walks off having a conniption while Vicki cuts a promo on AJ, calling her too “immature,” for a position of authority. Vicki tells the crowd she was accused of having an “affair” with a WWE superstar. Vicki tries to dismiss her, but after a few steps, AJ decides to go after her. After a quick cat-fight, Vicki bails, and we go to break.
So for the record, dating WWE talent is a no-no.
Marriage, that’s a whole different thing.
Back from break; with Ryback in the ring, followed by The Miz.
RYBACK VS THE MIZ – Do you expect me to end this in ANY OTHER WAY than clothesline, followed by Shellshock, Ryback gets the pin?
After the match, we get a promo of the WWE talking to kids about bullying as part of the “Be a Star” campaign AND I’M THE ONLY ONE WHOS GOING TO POINT OUT THE IRONY OF EVE TORRESS DOING THIS AIN’T I?
We come back from break with Eve backstage dogging AJ on her phone, implying AJ hooked up with Zack Ryder and Primo. Kaitlyn confronts her with a picture taken off her I-pad, and it breaks down into a brawl with Layla getting into it.
If I knew how, I’d post video of Peter Griffin going “WHO THE HELL CARES?” on constant loop.
After that, we go to a interview backstage with Josh Mathews and Sheamus, playing with a WWE brawling buddy. Big Show comes in, knocks it away, and warns Sheamus to get serious.
Daniel Bryan comes out to the ring as we go to break.
When we come back, we get a pop for WWE.com and a story about Cena getting a special award from the “Make a Wish,” foundation.
DOLPH ZIGGLER VS WWE TAG TEAM CHAMPION(S) DANIEL BRYAN – J.R. and Cole speculate about Vicki dropping Dolph and the future of RAW management while Ziggler and Bryan wrestle one of the best matches I’ve seen this year. There’s a LOT of high-spots and big-impact maneuvers, and a scary spot with Ziggler hitting the ring-post head first. Match ends with Kane (Bryan’s partner) distracting Bryan with a “YES!” chant and Ziggler hitting the Zig-Zag.
Side Note: CAN WE PLEASE JUST GET TO THE PART WHERE THEY LOSE THE TITLES AND FUED FOR A MONTH ALREADY?
After the match, Team Hell No argues until Matt Stryker comes out to announce that Kane and Bryan have been ordered by Vicki Guerro to compete in a “therapeutic game show,” against Rhodes Scholars.
They ain’t thrilled about it either.
After the break, we get a recap of AJ resigning, Vicki being made “managing supervisor,” and AJ going off on her ass.
Bryan and Kane are seated for “the Newly Tag” game, and act like they plan to play along. Damien Sandow and Cody Rhodes come out, crap all over the segment, and walk. Stryker declares them the winners by forfeit as Bryan has a win-gasim. Bryan and Kane look at Stryker with murderous intent. Stryker bails and from the safety of the stage, smiles villainously and makes it clear he can’t wish them luck in their match on Sunday. Big Show walks up behind him and tosses him across the stage like a bowling ball.
So anybody gonna explain to me what Stryker did to deserve this bitch-booking? Or whatever happened to that whole “no touching announcers,” rule?
Back from break, Kane and Big Show have a match in progress.
BIG SHOW VS WWE TAG TEAM CHAMPION(S) KANE – Slow back and forth brawl; with lots of punching and choking with a few high spots. Show wins with the big right hand after Rhodes Scholars comes out with the distraction and double team Bryan into unconsciousness.
Backstage; Santino tries to comfort AJ. Cena enters the picture and Santino walks. Cena tries to get AJ fight this, AJ reveals Cena was the one they accused her of “fraternizing” with, and she took the hit to protect him. Cena hugs AJ and promises to take care of this.
Back from break, Miz is Touting about Cairo Egypt, being awesome as part of the world tour.
Backstage: Cena confronts Vince about the decision to replace AJ with Vick – sort of. Apparently Vince has no say in how his own company is run.
ALBERTO DEL RIO VS ZACK RYDER – Okay, what is J.R.’s problem tonight? First he and Cole gripe about Roberto Rodriguez introducing Del Rio, then he says something about hearing people complaining about losing their “spot” for years, then he dumps on Ryder’s “internet champion” gimmick. Del Rio wins with the Arm-breaker, and then cuts a promo on Ryder as if he were Randy Orton while continuing to brutalize him. Del Rio mocks Orton’s posing.
Backstage; Vicki Guerro is cleaning out AJ’s office when Cena gets all up in her face, Vicki points out Cena asked her out on TV, and they were seen having dinner together. He claims it was a business dinner as friends. Vicki says it doesn’t matter; Cena is still the one who cost her, her job.
Back from break, we have an interview with Dolph Ziggler. He blames John Cena for the whole mess, and implies AJ should’ve had “better taste.”
We get a Ryback Video Package showing him destroy people and how much the crowd loves him.
Someone WILL have to explain this to me.
Backstage; Heyman tries to comfort C.M. Punk who’s upset about the lumberjack match with Sheamus. Heyman tries to keep his spirits up; reassuring him he will be Champion after this Sunday.
Back from break; we have a TON of WWE superstars around the ring and C.M. Punk in the ring. Sheamus is out next, and you can hear a faint C.M. Punk chant.
WWE CHAMPION C.M. PUNK VS WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION SHEAMUS – As Sheamus makes his way to the ring, Cole quotes a tweet from “Stone Cold” Steve Austin, wishing him luck. Early in the match, Sheamus is tossed out and the lumberjacks give him a huge berth. When Punk is tossed out a minute later, the “jacks” swarm him. We get a solid, if basic match that builds its pace slowly but gets the crowd into it. Two of the lumberjacks run into the ring and each eats a big boot from Sheamus. Sheamus goes for Punk but takes a chokeslam from Big Show allowing Punk to get the pin.
And no; I don’t know why Punk wasn’t DQ’d when the two guys ran in.
After the match, Ryback comes out to get a piece of Punk. Whenever Punk tries to run, the face lumberjacks toss him back to Ryback. Ryback tosses punk like a pizza and drops him on a bunch of heels. Punk whimpers in pain as Ryback stands tall.
