Smackdown: 02/10/12… No Funkasaurus
Leave a CommentYeah, it’s Friday. Go to hell Rebecca Black. So I’m here to talk about Smackdown, and stuff. That’s how I roll. Let’s just get to it, shall we? Hey, it might be really good!
Or not…
Yeah, it’s Friday. Go to hell Rebecca Black. So I’m here to talk about Smackdown, and stuff. That’s how I roll. Let’s just get to it, shall we? Hey, it might be really good!
Or not…
Last weekend was a whirlwind of activity for this G guy. With the Royal Rumble being the highlight, or so I thought, to cap off a content filled Saturday and Sunday, expectations were high. Did the Rumble deliver? Hrmmm… not so much, but I’ll get to that this week with the BWF Radio Crew on Sunday. Until then, let’s see how the outcome of the PPV affected Smackdown this week, shall we?
I’ll even throw in the Power Poll just for fun. If anyone reading this wants to participate and write for the BWF and/or WPO, this democratic multi-site ranking position is currently available. Toss a message in the comments if you are interested.
And even though it was kind of a depressing Rumble, we did get this.
Welcome back. After having help last week from Matt B. Wrestle, I’ve decided to return and review this weeks Impact. The final impact before Genesis TNA’s opening PPV. And I’ll be happy to report I kinda didn’t like it as a lead into Genesis I was basically bored by the events but it could be that I’m an old man by wrestling fan status (27) and feel like I’ve seen it all. Lets begin.
Roode umpteenth replay of his leader of the selfish generation gimmick plays just to remind people that Roode is a bad man (again.) Steve Borden comes to the ring and calls out Jeff Hardy. This is suppose to again absolve Jeff of his victory road debacle and bring the story full circle since Steve alter ego Sting was his embarrassed opponent. But this is interrupted by Bobby Roode, the aforementioned leader of the selfish generation. Who brings tag alongs Angle and Bully Ray. Roode admonishes Steve Borden for picking favorites and how he should praise Angle for beating up rednecks and Ray for having awesome calves?! Oh and him because he is the face of the company. Then they are interrupted by James Storm and Abyss, who basically talk over the heels which prompts steve to set up a six man tag match. You know because both companies love to compact entertainment into one main event. Have a bias against six man tag matches or random tag matches in general? Yes. Yes I do.
Oh look its Madison in a bikini and a mole that may or may not be cancerous like her whole persona.
Face, back whatever it still looks suspect
Science is still out on that one. She spots Traci at a pool and proceeds to announce that they have a tag match set up for the Knockout titles. This is all before the hazing that takes place when Gail and Madison double team Traci and attempt to drown her. Thank god for Mickie who jumps in for the save. And then we have the Knockouts Tag team match.
Its basically a brawl which has a fired up Traci vehemently attacking Gail and in some instance Rayne with occasional assists from James. *Sidenote here* So the mystery woman from last week was Madison? Here I was hoping for some new talent. Gail beats Traci with her heel move “Eat Defeat” to retain the titles.
Random Eric Young segment where he’s interviewed by Wonder Years about whats he up to. He looking for ODB so they can have their match even though they already lost. But whatever.
The Wild Card Tag Team Tournament. We see the two remaining teams Joe/Magnus and Kaz/AJ go through the pre match backstage segments/interviews. Really this whole tournament was kind of one dimensional. Aside the Magnus return to the ring nothing was special about it. Too predictable with so much interference it took the joy from it. For what should be an intense match turns sour before the opening bell. Kaz who is having secret meetings with Daniels really just ruins and makes an all too predictable out come. Long story short, Kaz leaves in similar fashion to Shannon Moore, leaving AJ stranded to take a whooping aligning himself with Daniels.
Finally, Kazarian has a storyline. Look at him smile.
Crimson/Morgan or Blue Streak take on Joe and Magnus at Genesis.
Oh. Garett Bishoff returns to ref but is told by GM Borden he is a wrestler. And Eric Young invades the KO locker room looking for ODB only to throw Madison inside a locker before fleeing. Gunner takes on RVD, so since we know who wins lets just skip to the no Flair at ringside that took Steve 3 weeks to institutionalize surprisingly only when RVD is present. Because god forbid he has to take time off. RVD wins with a DQ and a save from D’lo. Al Snow and Simon Diamond. These three guys moved so slow it took 3 weeks of spiked ddt’s for them to make it ringside. Now announced is a Gunner vs RVD match which doesn’t look promising at all. Just saying.
X division tag match with RANDOM I mean the four participants who will face each other for the X divison title come Genesis. Austin Aries (c) Kid Kash, Jesse Sorenson, and Zema Ion. THree heels and a face its possible right??
Sorenson wins with the cross roads. Setting up the eventual Austin Aries win come Genesis. And now that I think about it where is the Ultimate X match that should be taking place here?
Eric Young finds ODB taking pics of dudes and they wrestle then kiss. AAAHH! Cody Deener part deux is on its way.
Even Charlie Sheen wouldn't come back for this Part Deux
Blue Streak and Joe and Magnus brawl.
Main Event time. Six Man tag Match! ———–The heels beat the stuffing out of the faces. Roode has Hardy in the crossface, Angle has Storm in an Ankle lock and Ray is choking out Abyss with a chain. I could go through that match it would of bored me to tears.
call the story police, please.
So hopefully until Genesis, THis is Pintnoir fading to black.
Tonight is the go-home show before the holiday weekend, and probably will be left in a holding pattern. Much to my chagrin, I work late on Friday, so I was not able to catch the ROH PPV tonight. Hopefully after the craziness of the holidays dies down next week, I’ll find a way to watch it. Until then, it’s time for Smackdown. Let’s hop to it, shall we?
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Let me level with you, there IS a PPV this Sunday. Seriously. I know what you’re thinking, but I assure the TLC PPV is this Sunday. This might seem baffling if you have been watching WWE programming lately, because you’d think they’d make you care and want to tune in to see it. But they didn’t book much, or do much, and as a result… meh. Let’s just hop to it, shall we? I’m too tired.
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And here we are… the fallout from the Survivor Series PPV on Sunday… yeah. A new Heavyweight Champion is crowned tonight? Really? Let’s hop to it, shall we?
Big props to Al Creed for sending this one my way, and what a better sentiment to represent the WWE’s current fetish?
Welcome, it’s your once regular but could now only be described as freelance writer for BWF back again, with another random column. This time, I’ve been looking back to the past as I do, and it got me thinking.. what if someone got revenge on another, by doing the same thing, that the original person done in the first place, rather than just beating them in a match?
If that intro makes no sense, it’s because I could not word the intro. The idea was there, but when it came time to write a suitable intro the the piece.. nothing. So that was the best I could come up with.. anyways, to try and explain the intro.
Big Show gets revenge on the Big Bossman for towing Big Show’s daddy’s coffin away during the funeral.
As we all know, leading up to the Survivor Series PPV of 1999, the Big Show, lost his father. This allowed the number one contender, the Big Bossman, to take advantage of the situation. After reading out a poem degrading the Big Show’s father, he then persuaded the Big Show’s mother to admit that the Big Show was an illegitimate child or bastard. But the most memorable moment of this feud, occured on the 11/11/99 edition of WWF SmackDown!, in which the Big Bossman, interrupting the funeral of the Big Show’s father, towed the casket away in his police car, with the Big Show trying to stop it. Now, these two would compete at the Survivor Series, in which the Big Show defeated the Big Bossman, Prince Albert, Mideon and Viscera in a 4-1 Survivor Series. The feud would continue to Armageddon, in which the Big Show finally got his revenge on the Big Bossman, by defeating him in a one-on-one match, even though Prince Albert tried to intefere on the Bissman’s behalf, only to be treated to a trip through the Spanish Announce table, courtesy of the Big Show.
In 2004.. the Big Bossman passed away of a heart attack at age 41.
What if the storyline read.. the Big Show wanted the ultimate revenge. Five long years after the Big Bossman towed the Big Show’s father’s casket away from the burial site to god knows where (Where did the Big Bossman take that casket.. maybe that’s another column), the Big Show gets revenge by towing the Big Bossman’s casket away from his family, during the burial process, thus finally getting revenge on the man who ruined his life five years earlier. In 2004, the Big Show wasn’t really seen on WWE television, until Septembe, when he interfered in a Kurt Angle/Eddie Guerrero Lumberjack match.
Rumour has it, that if A-Train, Prince Albert’s new persona, was not injured on the June 21, 2004 edition of WWE Raw, that the Big Show and Albert would feud, and that the Big Show would in fact tow the casket of the Big Bossman, A-Train’s running buddy at the time. However, at the time, the Big Bossman had not passed, and the Big Show returned to feud with Kurt Angle. However, when the Bossman did pass away September 22 of that year, the WWE were so angry, that they fired A-Train on November 1, and the whole revenge feud was dropped.
And that my friends, is the reason why people get revenge by winning matches in the wrestling business, and not by other means.
Wow, today was really long. Getting called back to the night job after getting home made things unnessarily longer, so getting to Smackdown so late is not bode well for my FFW button. Nonetheless, I have been enjoying this program over all other programs (barring ROH), and it is the go home show before Survivor Series… so let’s hop to it, shall we?
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Here’s another edition of Impact Wrestling. Where tonight cowardly heels return, Garrett Bischoff shows his skills and Karen continues to screech her way onto my television screens. Lets take a look.
Back in Georgia.
Roode comes out cuts promo on crowd and on James Storm. Taking his opportunity and becoming world champion. James Storm is seen in the back trying to fight back security eventually making to the ring which causes Roode to take off. As Roode takes a heel-like run up the ramp the Stinger shows up. Steve Borden declares that there will be a world title rematch tonight. Roode looks worried.
Segment of Ronnie and Eric Young walking into the building with each carrying a belt.
side-note: Why was there a WWE commercial being played during Impact? Come on Spike get it together. And for their PPV no less.
Another segment with Dixie Carter walking with Bellator founder,
Back to Impact we have a Crimson/Matt Morgan promo. Looks to be decent until the match starts with Crimson versus Pope D’angelo Dinero. The crowd has little love for Crimson and a lot of love for the Pope, who has been booked into the ground these past months. (That’s what I love about a live crowd similar to Philly they are not behind Crimson but Pope is cheered) I sense a Cena-like response for him in his future.
Anyways Pope puts up some good offense hitting a devastating DDT and following it up with a fist drop and a 2nd rope fist drop. After whooping the Red one lil brother he takes to the rope again to meet the Red Sky (Down Low) Crimson for the win. The crowd did not look happy.
Gunner takes about Garrett showing respect and how he’ll learn it.
We’re back and Gunner comes out with Eric Bischoff & Ric Flair, my spider sense is detecting a DQ. Next Garrett comes down to the ring in Wife beater and Jeans no music. What begins slow with Gunner talking to Bischoff/Flair causes the crowd to jeer leading to the former security guard to take a couple of arm drags and eventually a front slam. Gunner who rolls out of the ring confused looks on as Flair runs in as Garrett flees and the match is declared a Disqualification. (I’m psychic)
I agree Spidey
So we have a backstage comedy segment with a doorman not letting Robbie and Rob Terry into see Ronnie from the Jersey Shore. Eric Young pops his head out asking if he wants a t-shirts. Eventually Ronnie comes out and a comedy spot ensues with Robbie jumping up on Big Rob in piggy back fashion. Elsewhere James Storm is found bloody in the back. He seems unresponsive.
Its time for X-division action as….. Oh my God! Little Elian Gonzalez isn’t dead.
Your guess is as good as mine
Oh wait that is Xima Ion who I almost forgot was in the division along with Nese. This could be good. Jesse Sorenson comes out for wrestle and I think maybe a tag match against Kash and Aries? No singles match so my mind goes to interference or Ion is showing how tough Sorenson is. The latter happens, better than interference. But the match is good albeit short. After missing is top rope finisher, Sorenson hit a cross roads maneuver for the win. Kash comes out sarcastically congratulating him and tells him to sign a contract for a match against Aries for the X division title. After he signs Kash clarifies that it will be a 3 way match. Kash bashes Sorenson’s mother before getting punched. Aries runs out for the double team.
Oh god not a Knockouts segment/match involving Karen and her Posse. As all the women in the back screech back and forth with the occasional loud pitched screech at Traci for causing the title to be on Velvets waist. I blame Traci too.
A knockout tag team title match with Mickie James/Velvet Sky. When I see Gail and Mickie in the same ring I think back to Botchamania.the ending is classic
Velvet takes on Rayne first and all that goes through my mind is “Bathroom Break Eminent!” Sirens blaring everywhere. After a cluster buck in which the crowd seems to care less. Which is sad because two years ago they would be some kind of response. it mercifully ends when Gail boots to the chin Velvet for the win. (special note even Earl Hebner wasn’t interested when he made the count from outside the ring)
Next its Jersey Shore vs Jersey Shore gimmick revisited.
When Robbie E and Rob Terry come out all that comes to mind is bad images of gay porn. You know who’s the power bottom. EY and Ronnie come out, with Eric doing his best Grizzly Redwood impression. Ronnie pins Robbie and Young ends up in a leopard print undies. And the gay porn images persist.
This is to make up for last week, because I'm anything but Biased
Back in the commissary, 3 punks eat until the Barrio 4 walk in stealing peoples lunches. Fight breaks out with factions??? leading into of course Turning Point. I like Pritchard’s use of minimalism when it comes to who is on the program when it pertains to PPV’s. Personally I would rather see a Sarita versus Toxxin match instead with the Knockout title on the line, but I dream too much like MLK.dream on
The founder of Bellator comes out on commentary and commences to talk up the product similar to an infomercial while Christopher Daniels and AJ Styles finish their feud before there respective new feuds come Sunday. Good solid match with Daniels going for a screwdriver. Rob comes out and steals it away, leading to AJ finishing Daniels with a Stylez Clash.Oh and “Thanks for the Bellator moment during it”
Six man Tag match with the Founder, a Bully and Steiner Brother taking on a reformed addict, an asshole and mystery????, after commercial break we have an answer. Its the monster Abyss. After a decent match Abyss hit Steiner with a black hole slam for the win.
Roode comes out for the main event. Commercial break. We’re back as James Storm’s music plays. No one shows. Theme song comes again. Slowly Storm comes out still covered in blood. He rushes the ring and puts the hurt to Roode before collapsing. After chants from the crowd to “Get up Cowboy” The Doctor comes out to get him to the back. Roode offers to assist. When he finds out that the match wasn’t ended he rolls up Storm for the three before Fortune hits the ring. Sting walks past Roode into the ring. AJ gets a microphone and challenges Roode at Turning Point. Sting makes it official.
Styles is wrestlng bum ankle be damned
Vengeance is in the books. Off the top of my head, it was a really good pay-per-view. If I had spent my money (I saw it in a bar where I do a pre-game show, so I was not charged for it.), I would have been pleased with the purchase. The worst part of the night was our service, but that is not typical, so you take it as it comes. Vengeance had some really good matches. Cena-ADR was a total (good) brawl. Henry-Show was a pretty good match (Even though the ring collapsing will never touch Taz-Bam Bam Bigelow in ECW). Sheamus-Christian, Orton-Rhodes, were pretty good matches for the hype behind them. Even Eve-Beth wasn’t painful.
So coming next is Survivor Series. Now begins the build-up. They begin to recap the PPV. The ring collapsing was of course the first thing mentioned. And the second was Kevin Nash. Eve Torres had more people talking than Kevin Nash. HHH comes out to the ring likes it’s still 2004 and gets to be the center of attention. Why not? The ring collapsed back then, too. HHH does the same promo he’s done since ’04. He calls out Kevin Nash and is interrupted by the only guy I want to see less, Super Dave Osborne. HHH follows Super Dave up to the ramp and is attacked by Kevin Nash holding a sledgehammer. They did a nice job of selling the sledgehammer. If you get hit with one, your only television appearances for the next two weeks should be in a hospital bed.
No matter how bad Raw is, it can be as bad as the Adam Sandler in drag movie.
Cole and Lawler sold the sledgehammer hit very well. They are trying to make these mean something again.
Our first match is Orton & Sheamus vs. Christian & Rhodes. Sheamus is really catapulting upwards. I think he might replace Kofi as my favorite wrestler in the WWE. These four know each other well in the ring and worked very well together. Sheamus got the pin and looks like he gets Mark Henry next. Good bout for the first match.
Backstage, Super Dave is talking to Stephanie. This is how bad it is. I would rather see Stephanie on tv than Johnny Ace. John Cena sees Otunga and makes a Carlton Fresh Prince joke. If it didn’t sound scripted, I would forgive him for at least one poop joke.
Santino got squashed by Dolph Ziggler. After Jack Swagger put him in the Ankle Lock Submission, the Walking Wellness Violation Mason Ryan comes out to his rescue. In case you were curious about what roid rage looks like, go back and watch this segment.
After the commercial break, we have the younger Gomez Addams in the ring introducing Alberto Del Rio. Alberto Del Rio will be champ for a long time. Then CM Punk’s music hits. Then Super Dave interfered. Punk went over his mic skills. Then he mocked Ace’s “majestic voice” and asked him if he needed a new skateboard. Punk wants a title shot. All he had to do is say is he respected Ace.
“I respect you, Funk-man.”
-CM Punk in a deep Brian Pillman-like voice making reference to this
Punk said that he respected Ace for doing more with less. Ace doesn’t want Punk as champion. 1997 called. They wanted their angle back.
We got Nattie-Alicia Fox. Alicia actually beat Nattie. That was unpredictable.
The John Morrison Future Endeavored Tour continued against Wade Barrett. John Morrison will have a nice career in AAA. It was just kind of a formality. I have no emotional investment in any more of Morrison’s matches. I’m just biding time until the next match. At least the Divas match had a surprise.
Does Vince believe Jim Ross deserves ANY dignity? Michael Cole will quit if he loses the announcer’s challenge. Well, I guess we know who’ll win it.
Miz & Truth attacked Zack Ryder and then cut a really good promo. After the commercial, we find out it’ll be a handicap match. I still have Walking Dead on DVR that needs to be watched. Hell, I’d rather watch Dirty Soap with my wife than this main event. I paid no attention to this match because the WWE Creative Team didn’t either.
You want good wrestling? Go here if you’re in the Dallas/Fort Worth area. Go here to get a good cross-section of indy wrestling no matter where you are. And no matter who you are or where you are, go here. Cause you’re not getting it here with the WWE.
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