Tag Archive: Rayne

  1. Through a Haze of sickness…TNA Impact Review 8/30/12

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    Impact opens with the World Champion Austin Aries coming down to the ring with his hurt right arm. He hits the ring and talks up the injury and how it would have effected him if he had been right handed but he’s a southpaw and ready to fight the leader of the Ace’s and Eights. Hogan and Sting hit the stage and Hulk reasserts his presence as TNA GM. He says if Aces’ and Eights are ready for a bloodbath then they can have one tonight. The Ace’s and eights ominiously appear on screen and tell the three men that they do what they want when they want.

    Good Segment with Aries being dominant. And showing we have a fighting champion. Hogan coming back also helps set up the re-emergance of a power GM ready to make war on the faction. Best storyline all summer.

    ODB is in the back trying to contact EY about her fried chicken and thier relationship which will be through if he doesn’t call  her back.

    A stipulation has been added that the leader of the BFG Board will have his pick of opponent at the semi finals at No Surrender. So we have  the match between two of the final four in James STorm vs RVD,

    After a good match which turned a monkey flip into a Last Call super kick. Storm is the winner and remains leader. Christie Hemme interviews the Cowboy who is deadset on getting that championship.

    Madison Rayne comes out thinking she is getting a rematch with Brooke Tessmacher, when out comes ODB who crushes Rayne in seconds. Then Eric Young strolls in with a suit, sunglasses and ODB’s fried chicken and Beer. Ole D doesn’t recognize her man until he strips and she jumps into his arms.

    AJ talks up his match with Samoa Joe. Which then leads into the Gut Check judges evaluating Kris Lewie. Then segways into Daniels and Kaz walking in on Hulk Hogan and Sting who show no love to the World Tag Team CHampions of the World, telling them that they’re laying down the law.  The champs will fight and Hulk will tell them where and when.

    Samoa Joe and AJ have there match which is another example of good psychology and just a wonderful match that leads to a Samoa Joe win. Positioning him in the top four alongside Ray, Storm, RVD. And I was floored when that happened. TNA shocking the masses.

    Kurt Angle talks up his match with Hardy. And thankfully Kris Lewie was not considered for Gut check. And Joey Ryan makes his return throwing water at Al Snow causing everyone to restrain Snow. Joseph Park offers his legal services to Hulkster and the Stinger to investigate the Ace’s and Eights. Hulk agrees.

    Yes Joseph Park is back in the mix. Who is pulling the strings?

    Kurt Angle vs Jeff Hardy is a done well with Hardy going over after hitting the swanton for the win. Angle is out which leads to the final (five), James Storm, Rob Van Dam, Bully Ray, Jeff Hardy and Samoa Joe. Borash announces next week we will determine the final four excluding Storm since he is the Board Leader.

    Aries returned to the ring to get his match. The TNA locker room lead by Hulk Hogan followed for support. The Ace’s and Eight’s approach through the crowd. A big man representing the group steps in to challenge Aries. When Aries started to gain the upper hand the Group descended down on the ring only for the TNA roster to fight back. Just as Aries was going to reveal the big man’s face an unknown man dons a mask and flapjacks Aries unconscious. The show ends with The faces checking on Aries.

    Good way to end the show with the heels running the show.



  2. iMPACT Wrestling- Road to Destination X

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    [youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I92E-Cpwgh0&feature=player_detailpage[/youtube]After the recap, we jump right into Bully Ray shilling his new twitter account, @Realbully5150. He calls out Joseph Park and accepts his challenge for next week’s impact. All this will be a Anything Goes match except that Ray has a restraining order against Abyss who if he even shows up will be sent to rot in prison. Park is dumbfounded until he’s cheap shoted.

    A Double and “H Double” discuss Aries giving up the belt at the end of the night. Which leads us right into a Destination X promo, which is embedded above.

    Jason Hervey (Wonder Years for those in the know) attempts to interview Dixie Carter who is more than happy to talk about the New X-Division talent but not eager to talk about Claire Lynch. Talking of that new prospective X-Division talent err.. oh wait

  3. Impact Wrestling 04/12/12


    So TNA has their Lockdown PPV this Sunday. Do I care? No, not really. Here’s the deal, I got virtually 45 minutes of sleep last night, and have been up since 5:30AM yesterday. Tried to call in to work at the night job, and then it started fucking snowing which means there is NO ABSOLUTE WAY I’m getting out of my shift. Ugghhh… still have to get up at 5:30AM tomorrow as well. Needless to say, my patience is VERY thin right now, which doesn’t bode well for Impact from this smark’s POV. But, it is what it is… let’s just get this over with, shall we?

    Hey Warrior, want to go do some coke and bang some ringrats?


  4. TNA iMPACT PNTNR-review

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    We see Immortal tell Gunner not to come back to the Impact Zone. We then cut to clips hyping the “little engine” Garett train and matches as he talks of his perserverance. Wonder Years interview reiterates this fact. This of course leads to a Eric Bischoff promo in the middle of the ring talking of his sadness that after Flair’s warning, Garett continues to pursue his passion.  He makes a match, a tag team match between Gunner w/ partner vs Garett and a partner of his choosing.

    “Surprisingly” Kurt Angle comes down and cuts a promo on Garett about listening to his father and how he listened to his father and he became an olympic gold medalist. Garett looks on backstage with disgust.

    Sting is in the bathroom talking to himself in the mirror. EY walks up on him as Sting’s cracking up. Asks to do something special for ODB, Sting after finally getting Roode’s name and Eric’s separate decides to treat ODB to a Knockouts Tag team title match. EY walks away baffled.

    Knockout Tag Team Title match: Gail Kim/Madison Rayne vs ODB/EY- Match starts with EY and Gail in the ring and when EY won’t hit Gail, ODB tags herself in. ODB does most of the heavy lifting throughout the match. Rayne and Gail trade tags after getting the upper hand on ODB. What happens next is a comedy of weird lewd situations. EY’s in the match and immediately grapples with Earl Hebner (ref) placing him in the corner. Gail runs up from behind only to hit the turn buckle. Eric props up Gail only to have Madison run at slam face first into Kim’s crotch. He sets them up for double airplane spins and attempts to pin Gail only to have Madison kick him. The girls getting the upper hand try to clothesline EY over the top rope only to run into ODB, who takes Madison with her outside. After Madison reverses a toss into the ring steps she grabs one of the belts and goes back in and hits EY with the belt. Eric lands on Gail in the missionary position with Earl counting the three making ODB and EY the new Knockout Tag Team champs.

    After the match EY proposes to ODB who reverses the question and Eric says “yes!” To the roar of the crowd.

    A man by the name of Joseph Parks talks with a sercurity guard about talking to iMPACT officials, Bully Ray cuts a promo on Storm backstage . And Austin Aries gets some disturbing news. Sting emailed him about taking on Zema Ion tonight. Aries goes on his internet smark routine about throwing hard earned money down the toilet by showing the X division title match on free television.

    X Division Title Match: What can I say but this is a good match performed by superior athletes who aren’t given enough to do beats the Garett Bischoff saga by a mile. And then it ends when Austin Aries ducks hair spray to the face, turning the tables and spraying Ion in the face to get disqualified. Zema Ion wins so we still have the Victory Road PPV match. Take that Internet Smarks?!

    We see Mary Sue, I mean Velvet Sky getting her hair did, when the mysterious Joseph Parks walks past questioning her. He asks about his brother Chris Parks better known as Abyss who’s been missing for some months. Velvet having no clue and surprised Abyss had a brother can’t help help Joseph. We get a jump cut to Bully Ray.

    He wants a title shot since he has taken out James Storm. Calls out Sting to make the match. Sting who has paint coating his fingers, comes down. Sting won’t allow the match with causes Ray to demand a match for the world title. Sting gives Ray a shot at Bobby Roode. But. It will be after the break.

    World Title Match: Bully Ray vs Bobby Roode (C) Roode has an argument with Sting in the back about defending the title, which Sting says “Who’s says its for the World Title?” prompting Bobby to head to the ring. Roode tries to talk down Ray who wants none of it and wants to fight. After calling Roode a punk the match starts to pick up steam. Ray and Roode trade blows with Bobby at one point bitch slapping the bully. Soon Roode gets the upper hand beating down Ray and taunting him with the trademark Ray horns. Eventually leading to Ray to power slap Bobby until he picks up momentum hitting rights and lefts and back body dropping the champ. Setting him him for the Bully bottom getting the two. Roode getting desparate goes for a spear and heads out of the ring to grab Rays wallet chain. He charges the Bully who meets him with a big boot. And just when Ray’s had enough he grabs his chain and is ready to beat Roode with it when out of the crowd comes James Storm , chasing off Ray. This all before he super kicks Roode and leaves him draped with the title unconscious.

    Garett Bischoff is talking to Wonder Years Jason Hervey about being confident about tonight but won’t divulge who his partner is.

    Crimson and Morgan are getting ready in the locker room when Joseph Park walks back asking about Abyss. Asks if they can point him in the right direction. Of course no one watches their own product and points them toward Ray but whatever. The slow heel turn of Crimson is still brewing as I assume creative really doesn’t have anyone to take on Joe/Morgan. Well besides Morgan/Crimson. They take on Robbie T and Robbie E for a #1’s contender’s match. Which is next.

    Robbie T comes out looking uncomfortable with a pink and white striped sweater. Escorting slash accompanying Robbie E to the ring. Crimson and Morgan come out to a more comfortable attire ready to go to war. Robbie E comes in first to take a beating at the hands of Crimson as he goofs to the crowd.  Realizing he can’t hand E tags in Robbie T who takes it to Crimson. Crimson starts to fight back as he reverses a choke slam, he heads back to charge T but E smacks him with the trademark clip board to the back. Allowing Robbie T to tag in Little Robbie for a double team maneuver. The talk of the undefeated streak is brought up as Robbie E flies from the top rope with a fist. He gets a one count. Then its Robbie E’s turn to get a chance at the streak as he takes a beating to Crimson finishing up with a front slam for two.  Rob Terry soon breaks out in a pose down which back fires when Crimson slams him to the canvas. Both men are down as there tag partners anxiously wait on the apron. Each tags his respective partner leading to Morgan cleaning house. Morgan stacks up the challengers in the corner and splashes them. Matt clothesline Terry outside the ring and Carbon Footprints Robbie E leading to Crimson to tag himself in and pin Robbie for the win. Morgan is visibly upset.

    AJ is talking about the ongoing feud with him and the rest of Fortune. Gunner cuts a promo with Kurt bragging about Olympic gold medalist.

    AJ comes out and talks of the importance of the 10th anniversary of Impact Wrestling. And all the allies and enemies he made. Speaking of enemies Daniels and Kaz come to the ring. After a lengthy back and forth about friendship and how AJ is to blame for his friendlessness, Styles decides to only associate with — Assholes as Mr. Anderson makes his return. Together they beat on the heels.

    Garett Bischoff heads to the back to talk to his tag team partner. Advertisement for Fan interaction at TNA.

    Main Event time, Kurt and Gunner head down to the ring. Garett heads down followed by—Jeff Hardy wearing one of the most disturbing makeup he can find. Painting veins and eyes on your eyelids makes Sting’s make up look tame in comparison. The match gets under way when Gunner and Angle charge the faces from behind, tossing Bisch Jr. outside the ring and double teaming Jeff Hardy. Jeff is taking most of the beat down as the heels tag in and out. Garett wants pacing on the apron. Finally Hardy gets the hot tag, Garett comes in and clothesline’s Angle and then smacks Gunner off the apron. Garett is on fire as he goes to work on Angle and drop kicks Gunner off the apron again. Even hitting a neckbreaker variation on Angle. Soon the heels get the upper hand as they double team Garett, as the heels throw Garett into the ropes Jeff tags himself in. Garett hits a double clothesline allowing Hardy to hit the swanton bomb on Angle for the win.

    What we have now in light of Russo’s release is a more focused show with as Eric Bischoff said has story that is planed way more in advance. Tonight wasn’t too bad and it seems Garett is getting a bigger push than ever so we’ll see coming to Lockdown.



  5. Impact Review- 12/29/2011 A Special Matt B. Wrestle Review

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    Hi folks this is Matt B. here to go over Impact for Thursday. Why? You say. We’ll tonight features a Knockout Title Match..wait for it…as the Main Event of the show. So I got down and dirty and beat Pintnoir to the punch since he’s busy with family and what not. So not only will we see The Women’s Sufferage Movement move forward to the 21th century, (because well there still behind Chikara when it comes to featuring powerhouse female talent.) JoshiMania anyone. Welcome to Impact Dec. 29th

    We recap with the firing of the Jarretts and the ascension of Madison Rayne as Karen Jarretts successor. Cutting back to the Impact Zone in struts Rayne and her co tag team partner and current Knockout title holder Gail Kim. She quickly calls out Tara and Tessmacher.

    “Lets get this over with before we catch any diseases that you two have.”-Rayne

    “I’ll take the diseases.”-Random fan

    Touche sir, Touche.

    Madison fires TNT for what happened last week (For a peek look at pintnoirs review from last week.) Sting’s music hits and Madison looks to be sweating bullets until out steps Steve Borden. The slightly off kilter alter ego of Sting. With Rayne’s assurance that she has everything under control, Steve chimes in that she has no power.

    “Madison, it ain’t over till I say its over.” -Steve

    “(screeching) “Its over”-Madison Rayne

    Steve proceeds to mock Madison and her screeching ways. And informs Gail Kim that she has a match tonight against Mickie James. Roll the obligatory walk on the ramp from the challenger.

    Steiner and Abyss have a pep talk in the back. Abyss tells Scott that they are partners.

    Wild Card Tag Team Tournament is next. AJ and Kazarian (The Man on the Back of the Milk Carton) vs Steiner and Abyss

    A really well worked match. Especially from Where’s waldo Kazarian who proceeds to hit Abyss with a barrage of back elbow, drop kicks and finishes with a swinging ddt to take the monster down. Eventually all is revealed when Abyss calls in Steiner and Black hole slams him. Making sure to pull Kaz on top for the win. Afterwards Bully Ray comes down to the ring accusing Abyss of being a bully.

    “Your the bully, Abyss” – Bully Ray

    Abyss wants Ray at Genesis in a Monsters Ball match. If Ray wins Abyss will rejoin Immortal no questions asked.

    You have to love Immortal’s recruitment practices. Speaking of Immortal, Ric Flair is backstage with Gunner both are in front of an ambulance. Flair proceeds to sell Gunner as a badass and Gunner quotes himself “killer”

    Best of Three series Zema Ion vs Tony Nese w/ Austin Aries on guest commentary

    Did I forget that its a contract on a pole match. Yes its a contract on a pole match. King of the Mountain, Steel Asylum, and Destination X matches are too confusing for audiences so lets dumb it down to a contract on a pole match? Thank you Vince Russo, Hogan, and Bischoff. That was for Pintnoir.

    This time Zema doesn’t come out with a spray can but a knitted scarf? while Nese comes out looking rather propless again for the second week in a row.

    Maybe when its your turn.

    I wonder who is going to win.

    Zema Ion pulls off the victory after dumping Nese out of the ring onto the railing. Lack of commentary from Aries makes me wonder what he thinks.

    Douglas Williams former  TV Title Holder and two time tag team champion. Now he is jobbing for Gunner who is now a “Killer”. Match is short to prove a point. Gunner pushes referee young Hebner resulting in his disqualifacation. Gunner redoes his greatest hits when he DDT’s Williams whom I assume is going to Ohio Valley Wrestling on the bare concrete.

    Robert Roode and his family comments play out. Roode struts to the ring and calls out his best friend from the tapes. Tracy Kalesky former Lacrosse player, wrestling plant, confronts Roode and says that he doesnt’ recognize his best friend. You know because six years ago when he was part of team (heel) Canada and later Robert Roode, money man with secertary Ms Brooks he was a nice guy. Even when Beer Money first formed they were a heel team. But I digress, he attacks his friend until Jeff Hardy runs out for the rescue.

    ODB and EY have a meeting backstage about strategy. Which should of went something like this, “I leave you in the ring OD and since Spike TV doesn’t allow male on female violence we can just stall until you can kick whoever in the balls like last week.” “Good plan Eric, I love you and that Canadian redbeard”

    But instead Eric says rapid tags to stay fresh while the other team tires out. So what we end up having is a unimpressive match where Samoa Joe looks ready to walk. Magnus attempts at flirting or as I call it sexual harassment which ODB returns in kind. This is before she socks him one. And they start some mock makeout slash wrestling. This of course infuriates Eric who disrobes and wrestles Magnus. After some stilted wrestling Magnus runs in and throws ODB into the ring post that Eric is standing on causing him to ball bust. Joe runs in with the muscle buster for the win.

    So much for Male on Female violence huh Spike.

    Kurt Angle vs RVD-a cautious match turns into a real good set up until you realise it will advance story and Kurt is super kicked leaving RVD disqualified so Rob loses but still looks good and then it cuts to a promo that seemed to be taped sometime later that is played immediatedly after where Kurt and RVD seem disappointed their match ended the way it did. This plays even though Kurt is layed out in the ring.

    On to the Main Event. Jeremy Borash does the announcing. The best part is where Jeremy says. “This is for the Knockouts “Ladies” Championship”

    he couldn't let progress ride.

    Just incase you didn’t know. The man event is fast and furious between Gail Kim and Mickie James. Reversals and top rope manuevers, even the filtering in of crowd noise contrasted with no reaction from crowd. Mickie no sold the noise when she did her “come on” scream to get the crowd back into the match. Then after what appears to almost be a clear finish a women in a goblin mask runs in and does the Rayne drop to Mickie, allowing Gail to pin her for he win.

    Next week Pintnoir will be back but for now I’m Matt B. Wrestle, signing off.

  6. Impact Wrestling–Promodown to Final Resolution


    Promo starts the program, it details the events leading to Final Resolution.

    Steve Borden enters the ring and calls out Bobby Roode. Explains to Roode that there will be consequences for his actions and that last week was just one punishment the next is coming up. Out comes Dixie Carter. Borden tells Roode to apologize to her. Roode rants about how Dixie sucks at her job and that she needs him as their champion. He figuratively and physically spitting on authority. Dixie is in shock, Steve chases him from the ring. So much for the age of Selfishness.

    Backstage continuation where Styles throws Roode up against a wall. Steve then comes to the back to confront Roode only to be held back by Styles and Hardy.

    First Match. Samoa Joe vs Abyss–

    Short match that seems to be the way for Joe. Steiner distracts the referee leading to Ray hitting the Samoan with a chain. Winner Abyss. Afterword with Steiner and Ray in the ring, Abyss blackhole slams Scott leaving Ray to run from the ring.

    Backstage with Karen Jarrett. She instructs Madison to take out James. Yep inept assassin #2 will so put away Super Mickie.

    More Backstage with Gunner and Borden–Gunner wants a third try against Garett Bischoff. He promises no Bischoff Sr. or Flair at ringside.

    Devon and the Pope call out Matt Morgan and Crimson. Devon shoots a mutual respect in ring promo but promises to take home the titles. Pope grabs the mike and shoots a heel promo…Elijah Burke all over again TNA? After saying he’ll do whatever it takes stooping to any lengths to attain it. He bumps Morgan who grabs him and beats him down. Crimson and Devon scuffle to the back. Leaving Pope alone to low blow Morgan and calls in Devon’s kids. All three beat down on him until Morgan hulks out and they flee.

    Madison Rayne vs Mickie James–

    Yeah a four minute filler where Rayne puts on some offense before Mickie overcomes laying out Rayne with a DDT for the win. Rocky and Bullwinkle villain extinguished. Gail comes out to show off the belts. Because its setting up for Final Resolution. You know.

    Gunner and Garett pt III, and still no one cares. The people in the back care so little that Bischoff Jr. still comes out in dress pants, belt and converse all stars. Even poorly dressed Gunner who whoops on Garett until Bisch Junior pulls off a single leg pin. Beatdown after the match leading to a spiked piledriver on the concrete. Afterwords Flair and Bischoff mock an unconscious Garett who is being loaded into an ambulance.

    *Special notice* When Taz and Tenay talk about fatherhood and Tenay looks annoyed by Taz and his non announcing ability. I guess it really is what you know.

    James Storm confronts Angle spew some good dialogue which first seems like ass kissing. Gay reference. Storm turns his back to hit him from behind again. Mocks Angle’s catchphrase.

    Devon’s Kids —- skip

    Traci Brooks versus Gail Kim what was supposed to be a reenactment of the Madison Rayne/Tara match except Traci kicks out after 2. Leads to a decent match where Ms Brooks unleashes her frustrations on Gail. That is until Karen comes out distracts the referee causing Traci to be knocked out by Madison’s ill earned KO’s belt. Gail wins.

    *Daniels is snarky funny, comparing RVD’s singlet to a colostomy bag was inventive.

    Jeff Jarrett w Karen Jarrett/Bobby Roode versus AJ Styles/ Jeff Hardy—-Disconnected—-

    Which I feel was a warning from the god’s to not spoil the ending of the pay per view. Who know but this Sunday is Final Resolution and here is too a decent 3 hr Impact.


  7. Impact Review 11/3 – A Heel is Lurking


    Welcome to a late edition of Impact review.  Pintnoir always comes to Impacts rescue today we come from Macon, Georgia.

    Look Ma, I can use google to find Macon rhymes with bacon, Georgia

    James Storm cuts a promo about how The South is full of respectful people

    where everyone is treated with respect and understanding.


    who treat everyone equally and use manners and how if any one disrespects the good ole USA they’re going to get their butts kicked. He calls out Roode. Together the tag partners schmooze about Beer Money giving each other compliments about how there career wouldn’t be where it was if it wasn’t for tagging together. They promise to steal the show.

    Sad but true

    So what do you get when you have a pair of lipstick lesbians, a bitter defector, a shrieking harpy, and a good digger?

    Give up? its the knockout Tag Team match featuring T_N_T (Tara & Tessmacher) versus Gail Kim & Madison Rayne w/ Knockout Law Karen Jarrett followed by Chyna’s little sister Traci Brooks.

    Who loves to watch Shite? I do!!!

    Long story short after interference from Karen, and a sneak attack by Gail on Tara we have new Knockout Tag Team champions?!?! They were defended so well these past…weeks.

    Garrett Bischoff cuts a promo. Is he planning on offering an apology to his egotistical father? We’ll find out.

    Garrett comes out and gives a sincere apology with just a hint of snide sprinkled in just before he begins to beat the tar off his gray haired papa. While fun it comes to an end when Flair and Gunner run out for the save.

    Later Bischoff finds Sting telling him that the stinger can rewrite his iron clad contract any way he likes if he can deliver Garrett in the ring for an opponent of Eric’s choosing. (They effectively explain that Bischoff and Hogan have contracts that allow them to stay on Impact no matter the outcome of the BFG match) Sting thinks it over.

    Christopher Daniels is seen next talking about his greatness and how he didn’t use a screwdriver on RVD “it isn’t my fault if the ring crew forget their tools.” This is all right before RVD shows up behind him to beat on him. Daniels, after taking an extended beating runs away only for Rob to proclaim “see you at Turning Point.”

    Austin Aries vs Jesse Sorenson (again) in a non title match, so who is going to win this one? (I dunno) with special condescending commentary from Kid Kash. I love Kash and hearing him rip into Sorenson for not respecting the vets while at the same time telling everyone he was the best X division champion in history. Sorenson reverses a brainbuster into a small package for the win. Afterwards Aries and Kash diss the rookie right before Kash asks Aries if he should get his knife. Classic.

    Robbie E and Rob Terry get ready for their showdown with (sigh) Ronnie of the Jersey Shore and Eric Young (sigh) Television Champion. This is an asinine challenge considering EY has had the belt for god knows how long and is finally defending against an opponent who should not be there. Ronnie comes out and gets dissed right before he spears Robbie E leading to Terry beating on both Ronnie and EY. Afterwords EY challenges the two Robs to a tag match next week. (Later on tonight in Macon, Georgia time)

    Immortal’s music hits and were treated to Bully Ray/Jeff Jarrett vs Jeff Hardy/Mr. Anderson in a tag match decent match that ends a disqualification when Steiner comes to the ring to interrupt a double Kenton/Swanton bomb attempt on the two heels. Later a beat down commences.

    Garrett and Sting meet and talk about the challenge sent by his father after Sting rethinks it Garrett accepts and tells him to go along with his dad’s demands. Promo showing the Roode vs Storm match that so sets up a heel turn its not even funny.

    Crimson gets called out by Matt Morgan who issues a challenge. Morgan goes on about how he’s the best 7 footer in the business. I guess he hasn’t heard of the Undertaker. Crimson accepts and we have a match… At Turning Point.

    Roode vs Storm for the TNA World Title. After a lengthy bout and a ref bump which results in Roode telegraphing his heel turn by staring at James Storm’s beer bottle for 30 seconds hits him from the outside and rolls in for the pin and is proclaimed champion in front of a booing Georgia crowd. He ends the show with his foot on the former champion.

    the bottle made him do it!

  8. iMPACT 10/27- Pintnoir Review

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    AH Welcome to another Pintnoir review of iMPACT Wrestling.

    We open on a Storm montage going over his win at last weeks ppv. Then out comes the cowboy Storm with new theme music, he talks about his father and how he told him when watching Wrestlemania 3 that he wanted to be a wrestler. Fortune proceeds to the ring congratulating but Samoa Joe’s music hits he comes out and insults Storm and Roode wants his shot at the title. (*didn’t BFG have a stipulation where whoever won the three-way between Joe, Morgan and Crimson would get a title shot and didn’t Joe lose to Crimson?) ANYWAY! Sting comes down exerting his authority and makes a number one contenders match between Joe and Roode. Winner faces James Storm in Macon, Georgia.

    Daniels does a promo claiming AJ doctored audio to make it sound like he said “I Quit”, you know because this is WWF circa 1999. He ready to prove how dominate he is when he takes on “Bob” Van Dam.

    Rob Van Dam vs Daniels is a okay match there seems to be communication problems between Van Dam and Daniels during the match but Rob probably high on the cush. AJ joins on commentary. Match ends when Daniels hits Van Dam with a tool box, then he proceeds to pull out a screw driver. Styles runs off Daniels.

    Karen Jarrett and entourage come down to the ring. Gail cuts promo. She talks about all the emails and tweets about why she gave Velvet a concussion, and simply states it’s “none of your damn business”. This promo seems to imply her actions against her former employer more than Velvet but that’s just me. Then out comes Tara for her scheduled squash match against Gail. After a commercial break Gail is beating the tar out of Tara which leads to a new finisher. A drop down boot to the chin manuever. OH yeah I forgot to mention that Karen calls Velvet a prostitute and gives Gail a title shot. While Madison Rayne looks on and cheers? plot holes your honor?

    Jeff Hardy Promo

    TV Title defense where we have the weaker Jersey shore wrestler taking on Eric Young (c). Rob Terry is outside when the match begins. For what its worth EY can still go, but the match lasts a minute ending in a roll up pin for Young. Rob Terry jumps in a lays the smack down which prompts EY to bring out his hollywood heavies, Ronnie from the Jersey Shore. God how I hate Viacom. Not only do they run MTV but also Spike.

    Two promos one shows Eric Bischoff walking out to the ring and the other follows Daniels making a phone call and being approached by Kazarian about burying the hatchet between him and Styles.

    Replay of the whole Garrett Bischoff/Jackson James set up going back to Turning Point 2010, and Final Resolution. Showing how he screwed Matt Morgan out of two title defenses. Easy E comes out and calls out his son tells he has to the end  of the night to apologize or he’ll “beat his ass”

    Afterwards Flair confronts him. Tells Lil Bisch to call him “GOD” not Mr. Flair. Calls him a punk and slaps him around while traditional slurring his words.

    Jeff Jarrett comes out. Calls out Hardy again for the third time in two weeks (this includes a PPV). Fight ensues. This of course leads to an attack from behind by Bully Ray. Hardy showing little ring rust. Leads to a good match where Ray takes his bumps for the team. Hardy wins with a twist of fate. After Jarrett jumps him, throws him back into the ring where Ray busts him with a chain. Jarrett grabs a table to put Hardy through but Anderson comes out for the save.

    Roode vs Samoa Joe is good. Roode wins leading to Storm coming out and lifting a beer to him. Roode responds with a thumbs up.

    EB and Ric GOD Flair confront Garrett in the ring about his behavior which leads Bischoff (JR) to punch GOD in the face before being low blowed by his father and then Flair. Show ends with Garrett on the floor and Bischoff senior and Flair hugging.

    See you next week in Macon, Georgia.

  9. Bound For Glory- A Rant


    Sorry no pics to entertain. Just a very disappointed feeling. BFG was mediocre to say the least. I watched in quick succession as (this includes a preshow) where two titles are forever tarnished. A bi polar face change. And a good match from two men. One who is known for phoning it in and the other who was with the company before but left. The continued embarrassment of Samoa Joe, which now includes Matt Morgan. This folks was Bound For Glory.

    Lets start with the bad please.

    (bleep) it. The worst abomination known to humanity. If you’re a female this should set you back 200 years, when you ancestors wore corsets and stood quietly by as they had no voting rights. THIS MATCH ALMOST MADE ME UTTER THE MOST HATED (American)TERM THAT BEGINS WITH A “C” AT MY MONITOR.

    We watch Karen Jarrett officiate a debacle of a match. So bad that the Philly crowd was chanting “BORING”! Wheres Mickie James stood in the middle of the ring and shouted with irritated conviction “Come On” Which got a momentary acknowledgement from the crowd. This match is the classically stated overbooking everyone talks about, you have 4 competitors, a special guest referee, Outside interference, and a heel ref bump that leads to a babyface ref coming out to count the three! With all of this the match was still a horrid mess. I honestly believe the crowd only cheered because it was finally over. It would be akin to be a Vietnam war prisoner with the bamboo beneath the finger nails and when they finally finished you congratulated your captors.

    Lets just look at the players.

    Madison Rayne- One of the worst heels in the business, and not in a good way a heel should be bad. Even as she descended the ramp I heard no crowd reaction other than crickets and people getting around to their bathroom breaks. The Killer Queen title fits seeing as how she killed the crowd.

    Velvet Sky- Miss Retcon herself. Who is now a baby-face for no reason other than they had no other popular female “wrestlers” and I use that term loosely. She gets a good pop but that is because she is the lesser of two evils. Men supposedly according to Taz “Let the pigeons loose” in her presence. That is no different than watching your favorite porn star, but you watch her in a non wrestling element, not in a wrestling ring!

    Mickie James- Someone who at least no matter how awkwardly she looks attempts to put on a show. The former stripper attempted to keep the show grounded but was overshadowed by her protege Velvet.

    Finally the Champion Winter, the batshit crazy Lesbian Vampire Brit who spits blood. That would be a long title for a movie. Who came out to confusion. Someone who if she wasn’t saddled with a crap gimmick would be a perfect snobbish heel. But I digress, In all this mess I was actually rooting for Winter! The booking for this match is simple Velvet (shudder) vs Winter w/Angelina. If Sky wins she gets her friend back, and sadly a title. But no we get padding for an already sad match.

    Someone on another site posted how two of the best female wrestlers in the company Tara and Sarita were otherwise pre disposed. Sadly that is the state of the division if you have talent you get buried for looks. Velvet Sky namesake aside is a glorified valet who was given a devalued trinket to a once promising division. A belt I might add two years ago wouldn’t even be considered an option for heel jobber Sky. Amazingly a regime change and a massive exodus later she now has no barrier to the title.

    Anderson and Ray was excellent even with the missed spot. Ray has experience never mined in WWE. The way he turned that crowd against him was gold. He essentially sold Anderson as the fan favorite in a town he helped put on the map.

    Bi-Polar moments astound me in wrestling. First we have Sting go all crazy then we have Hogan after losing to Sting listening to the Hulkamaniacs and changing allegiances taking out all of jobber Immortal? They’ve signed new contracts, Hogan and Bischoff, so now what we have two more years of Hogan now face running around in the Red and Yellow fighting Immortal and Eric Bischoff? So much for the youth movement. Sadly it was quoted that the Hogan change was similar to Return of Jedi, as Luke (Sting) pleaded with Vader (Hogan) to help him in his fight with Immortal (Emperor) yes it was a blatant rip off that even with the crowd reaction Hogan had already ruined it in interviews prior to BFG answering that we (fans) would see the red and yellow soon. Yippee.

    Joe jobbing is enough said for me. Even the fans booed when the winner was declared.

    RVD tried and I mean actually attempted to put on a good match. He won which still shows that back stage politics still work when it comes to Rob.

    The never ending Daniels vs AJ feud is still continuing. The theme music that played during their feud video even made no sense when it came to the lyrics. Title winning before one dies? There was no belt on the line. If that is the case then why not give either one the Television title because god forbid Eric Young isn’t using it. Weak finish ruined this match.

    Preshow on Facebook came across as  one would expect. No title change. Christina Von Eerie or as she is known in TNA as Toxin was ehh. She did her job of awkwardly (there’s that word again) taking out two women motioned to the crowd turned scratched Anarquia’s eyes and depantsed him. Still this tomfoolery is better suited for RAW not for TNA Impact “Where Wrestling Matters, Again”. Bush league at best. Hence why we got it for Free.

    All I can say about the Bobby Roode title match is Bullshit!!!!!!!!! A sad month of hype. A retconned back story (remember Bobby was a JBL style wrestler with money who had Traci Brooks and Eric Young in his back pocket?) I don’t either because he is Rocky Balboa. He is built up and then after a 15 minute match where similar moves were repeated over and over ended with Apollo Creed (Angle) winning in questionable fashion because you know the referee is blind. This is a crazy epidemic in TNA, this blind referee syndrome. At first I thought it was just Earl Hebner but I guess it is hereditary because Brian Hebner let Kurt rob Bobby. Don’t get me wrong Roode was booked all wrong.

    First we have the Bound for Glory Series where we are treated to various contenders who all are given the wink wink of moving forward. Crimson with his undefeated streak looked like a winner but was kayfabe taken out. RVD was screwed by Lynn. Bully Ray just couldn’t get the job done. Gunner tapped. Storm choked. Pope and Joe didn’t stand a chance after their lackluster feud. But there was one man who was waiting for his chance to become the champion, a man that had promised by the end of the year to be TNA World Champion. His name was……Matt Morgan! He was in prime condition to be the next big main event guy. He had paid his dues in the company and was basically homegrown. A WWE Jobber who was stuck with a gimmick no one would want. Who after coming to TNA grew into a fan favorite even when he was a heel. Then an injury happened and he was shelved then taken off the shelf to feud with Joe the perennial wrestler a man creative must love to torment with all the different reinventions they’ve attempted since his loss to Angle. And while they were at it they threw in the “Undefeated” Crimson, Philly and fans were not amused. So what do we have instead? Kurt wins the title from Sting. Aligns with Hogan after some asinine plot point about Dixie knowing Jarrett and Karen were a couple before he did. He turns around and puts down the young talent. A complete U turn from a couple years ago. Roode default wins BFG series and we get a month of Rocky vignettes. And a screw finish that would make Bret Hart blush. Thank you TNA.

    Finally we have Aries vs Kendrick, a match that was first on the show and easily outshined most. The crowd was thoroughly behind Aries who proves once again what kind of presence he brings to any company. Dejected by ROH, WWE and if I remember correctly Chikara but when he returned to Impact Wrestling he cut one simple promo and was a “star” once more. Him having that belt gives more credence to it than a thousand Brian Kendricks. The man who in July saved the division from the Monster Abyss sank into oblivion once Austin Aries came on the scene. Kendrick may be talented but he always came across as a better tag partner than a full fledged solo star. A Marty Jannety who needed his Michaels (Paul London)  Because to make matters worse he is the basic definition of a “vanilla midget” not much of a personality. They give him the Wizard of Odd gimmick the same they gave Amazing Red the color red as his. Coat him in any guise and he is still just vanilla. You have a division that includes Kid Kash, Zima Ion, Alex Shelley,Jesse Sorenson (who needs a better gimmick than a “Alex Riley” FCW run) and if they’re smart Eric Young.  All these guys albeit Sorenson look to be able to run with the ball against Aries. To but asses in seats as it were. Now that the feud is over we can get an Alex Shelley feud with Aries. They have a shared history in the company and beyond.

    Hopefully BFG is an eye opener for management to get their ducks in a row and move past this sub par PPV. This is the Starrcade of TNA make it mean as much. You can’t cheer home grown talent if you don’t push them properly. Look at Hogan for instance for a good year or so in WWF he was the man who worked his way with the crowd to a good build up against a credible heel before winning and defending against Andre and so forth. Meaning he was built up a winner someone the fans could cheer and love. Simple booking where the heels were the heels and the faces were the faces. No retcons. Especially in this internet savvy century.


  10. Pintnoir’s Impact Review 9-29


    Here I am to take over the Impact Wrestling review. Boy do I have my work cut out for me. No Barkley or Daffney to assist.

    Sorry Daff, but the drunk tank you will stay

    We open on Impact and the continuing story of Bobby Roode’s rise to the top. Kurt Angle and Roode exchange words. Is it me or do I see a swerve coming with this whole Roode as champion pursuit?

    I know. I know I will regret this later.

    We now have the 5-man ladder match for the number one contenders match against Austin Aries for the X division gold. After a somewhat cluttered affair, where Aladdin (Kendrick) in all his Disney glory and steals a victory out from under Kid Kash.

    Go Make the street rat proud, Kendrick

    Kaz and Tracy get called out to the ring by The Jarretts, where JJ badmouths Kaz about leaving the company multiple times and how Jarrett kept taking him back despite his flip flopping. He then targets his venom on Ms Brooks for being disrespectful to his wife.  Calling her a “10 cent whore” which causes Kaz to punch Jeff. Soon security or the retired wrestlers brigade come out to separate them. It all comes to a head when Gunner comes out and F5’s Kaz. (Where’s Fourtune?)

    She slept with the owner of the company,

    Ink Inc comes out and gets jumped by Mexican America before a singles match between Hernandez and Jesse Neal could take place. After a swift beating and two big splashes by SuperMex, The Sitas spray paint NWO style on there backs the groups initials.

    Promo Flair argues with Hogan about his announcement and tells him not to do it. (Why again, would Flair care?) Next Promo is the pre match hype for Tara vs Madison for the Queen’s Qualifier’s Match. The winner taking on Velvet, Mickie and Knockout Champion Winter for the title.  Crimson returns.

    Knockouts Queen’s Qualifier Match, Madison Rayne comes out in camo wrestling gear and Tara follows with one half of the now pointless tag belts. “Accessories anyone?” What starts out to be a very promising match….sorry I couldn’t keep a straight face. Soon turns to farce when Earl Hebner gets involve and starts choosing sides. Madison uses her charms to get Earl to make calls on her behalf which leads to an eventual reveal and her luck turns for the worse only for her to win with

    She "slept" with a higher up for her old position, So tell me who is the better hoe?

    her feet on the ropes sealing Tara’s fate as her bitch.

    Even though she won't win they still show that she is an asset, and not a hinderance

    Christopher Daniels brags about his victory over Styles.

    Crimson comes out and calls out Joe. After some back in forth in which Joe calls Crimson his “bitch” a fight ensues which leads to Crimson to be put in the figure four leglock while still suffering from a fractured ankle. But don’t worry Morgan shows to save the day. After a quick clearing of the ring we have the two big men stare each other down until Morgan gives Crimson a friendly man pat on the chest.

    Next we have two underrated superstars Dinero versus Anderson. Let us make it quick. Devon’s kids interfere which causes Devon to come out. While that whole mess is going on we have Anderson in the ring at which point Ray hits him with the Singapore cane which Pope slyly picks up the victory.

    Sappy Roode promo in which I get early vibes of a wrestler’s version of Rocky. Roode makes the usual promises of training and going into BFG and winning the world title.

    Will he have what it takes to beat Apollo Angle for the World Title?

    Main Event: AJ Styles versus Bobby Roode. A really good match leading to Roode winning with a cross-face.

    Hogan comes out to announce his retirement. Or more correctly tease it for next week. Good way to try to boost ratings with a fake RETIREMENT promo. Sting listens back stage calling Hogan a academy award winning actor, Sting closes the show promising to be in Knoxville, Tennessee for the announcement.

    You know your announcement is on thin ice when even the Joker calls you on it.

    So that is all for Impact for this week. See you next week when we witness a Knoxville audience.