Tag Archive: Ringside

  1. RYTMANS RAW RECAP AND REVIEW 09/24/2012

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    MATCH RESULTS

     

    DOLPH ZIGGLER (w/VICKI) DEF KOFI KINGSTON (w/R-TRUTH and LITTLE JIMMY) – Before the match begins; R-Truth and “little jimmy” get into an argument with Vicki at ringside. Vicki takes a drink in the face and the referee sends her, Truth and “Jimmy” to the back. The match is a high-flying spot-fest with both men taking huge bumps back and forth. Ziggler sends Kofi head-first into the corner, and gets the three-count with the Zig-Zag.

    PRIME TIME PLAYAS DEF RYDER/SANTINO – This is a quick and simple tag match. Titus O’Neal gets a blind tag while Santino sets up the “Cobra” for Darren Young. O’Neal gets the three-count with a spine-buster.

    RYBACK DEF THE MIZ – Miz doesn’t get squashed in the true sense, but the end is a foregone conclusion with Ryback crushing him with the “meat hook.” During the match, a fan tries to run in but is taken out fast by security.

    WADE BARRETT DEF TYSON KIDD – Little more than a squash. Barrett wins with the “souvenir.”

    SHEAMUS, SIN CARA, REY MYSTERIO DEF ALBERTO DEL RIO, DAVID OTUNGA, RICARDO RODRIGUEZ – RAW GM AJ Lee made this match during a backstage segment, explaining to Del Rio and co. that this was their chance to get payback on Sheamus for injuring each of them with the “Brogue Kick.” Match ends with Ricardo taking a 619 and a Swanton from Sin Cara after Sheamus cleans house. Sheamus puts the period on this with a Brogue Kick to Ricardo.
    Side Note: At one point, it looked like Sin Cara tagged Sheamus, but Rey was allowed to come in.
    Was this a botch perhaps?

    EVE/BETH PHEONIX DEF LAYLA/ALICIA FOX – A throwaway tag, with Beth doing most of the work, Eve stealing the win with a neck-breaker, and Layla doing nothing but taking a shot to the face. After the match, Kaitlin comes out, on a crutch with a taped ankle. She says she got a hold of the security camera footage from NOC, and it shows her attacker. You can’t see her face, but you can tell she had blond hair. Eve points the finger at Beth and lays her out with the neck-breaker.

    BRODUS CLAY VS TENSAI – NO CONTEST – This match isn’t much more than trading head-butts and missing splashes until THE BIG SHOW makes his return to RAW. He walks down to the ring, clocks both men with the WMD, and just stands there until they play his music.

    SEGMENTS

    The show opens with Punk and Heyman in the ring, holding the show hostage. Punk sits while Heyman calls last week’s main event a great injustice, showing us footage of Cena getting the three-count on Punk while his foot was clearly on the ropes. Heyman calls out the referee from last week, referee Maddox. He demands an apology and that Maddox resigns on the spot. Maddox is happy to apologize but will not resign. Punk goes off on him.

    “HOW DO YOU WALK DOWN HERE AND PRETEND TO BE A MAN?”-C.M. Punk

    Punk calls him an inexperienced scab, and Heyman offers him a blindfold bearing both the NFL and WWE logos. During his rant, Punk calls AJ Lee an “idiot.”
    AJ Lee skips down to ringside. In the ring, she sends Maddox to the back. Paul assumes she is here to reverse last week’s decision.

    “When you assume, you make an ass out of you and me… but mostly you.” AJ Lee.

    AJ Lee tries to shut Punk down, but Punk responds with a demand for respect and a recap of AJ proposing to him last summer. If she agrees to forget about the match last week, he’ll forget about her sending him dirty texts and voice mails, and dares her to tell the audience about their torrid affair.

    “I’m the reason there’s a spring in your step!” – C.M. Punk

    Heyman steps in here with a MARRAGE PROPOSAL! He offers to make AJ the most powerful woman in WWE. He’ll come up with ideas and she can take the credit. AJ responds with a slap to his face.

    I gotta say, I was impressed with AJ here. She was sharing mike time w/two of the best in this business and more than held her own. She came off clever and strong, despite having the least dialogue.

    Backstage: Maddox thanks AJ for sticking up for him and apologizes to her as well. She makes it quite clear that if he messes up like that again he will NEVER work in this industry again. She goes into “evil mode” and accuses him of embarrassing her.

    After recapping the Kane/Bryan-Rhodes/Sandow issue on Smackdown, we go to a restaurant where Daniel Bryan is with his anger management therapist Dr. Shelby. The doc has arranged a role-play tonight where Kane is “Gerald” and he will be Daniel’s waiter for tonight. Kane goes into a monologue about pulling the beard off the cook’s face and deep frying it, sprinkling a little bit of it on every dish he’s served. After the bit, we’re told we can choose the official name for their tag team as part of RAW-active later tonight.

    At this point, I’m declaring this bit dead. They’ve dragged it out as long as they possibly can.

    Promo for the Susan Komen foundation and breast cancer awareness month

    Mick Foley is tonight’s special guest! He comes out to address the C.M. Punk issue. The C.M. Punk issue comes down to address Foley. In one of the best promo-duels I’ve ever heard, Foley tells Punk that he needs to disregard Heymans’s advice and think for himself, and he needs to face Cena in a Hell in the Cell match to cement his legacy. Punk takes a shot at the crowd and runs down his list of wins over Cena. He says the WWE universe turned on him, and he doesn’t need to risk his health/body/career for them. He’s held the title for over 300 days and will hold it longer. Foley held the title three times for a total of 29 days. Statistics don’t matter, it’s the moments that we show what we’re made of that counts.

    Back at the restaurant, Kane and Bryan agree they can never be friends, but they sure did like beating down men with chairs last Friday on Smackdown. Kane slams the table repeatedly to bring back the feeling. Bryan responds with a growing “YES!” chant. Once the reach the… conclusion, we cut to MAE YOUNG!

    “I’ll definitely have what they’re having.” – Mae Young.

    The next segment is the Jerry Lawler interview with Michael Cole. He is recuperating just fine but doesn’t even remember the match he wrestled last week. He woke up in the hospital thinking he was in Aruba with his girlfriend. He is leaving his return date up to the doctors.

    Back at the restaurant, Dr. Shelby has convinced Kane to try a salad, and Bryan to try a meatball, as part of an “understanding” exercise. Kane tries some lettuce and responds with a huge belch. Bryan seems to like the meatball at first, but soon winds up barfing in Dr. Shelby’s lap.

    We are given our choices for naming the team.
    #Team Teamwork
    #Team Hell No
    #Team Friendship

    After the break, Kane and Bryan are in the ring waiting the official selection…
    #Team Hell No

    While Bryan/Kane fight their confusion, Cody Rhodes and Damien Sandow attack. They leave the champs lying and introduce themselves as “Team Rhodes-Scholars.”

    Recap: Heyman proposal to AJ
    Our Main Event of the evening; a John Cena Promo!

    Cena comes out to thank the WWE universe for their support of the Susan G. Komen foundation and Breast Cancer Awareness month. He apologizes for C.M. Punk’s lies and misrepresentations. Punk comes out to call Cena a lying politician. He gives Cena a choice; five seconds to leave the ring, or get hurt badly. Five seconds later, Cena nails Punk in the stomach with a lead pipe.

    Backstage, Punk staggers along the hall, passing Mick Foley. Punk walks back to kick him in the groin, and starts to walk off. He turns to give Foley a piece of his mind, and meets the stare of Ryback.

    All in all, pretty basic RAW, with the tease of a Ryback/Punk match up being the only “big” surprise.

  2. RYTMANS RAW RESULTS AND REVIEW 09/17/2012

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    First, I want to apologize for the lateness of this article. There was a death in my family this week, and it took precedent over anything else.
    MATCH RESULTS

    REY MYSTERIO AND SIN CARA DEF EPICO AND PRIMO – After the match, Rey-Cara were ambushed by the Prime Time Players, who said they were the rightful number one contenders to the tag title and wouldn’t let anyone take anything from them ever again.

    EVE TORRES (DIVAS CHAMPION) DEF BETH PHEONIX – The broadcast team spent this match speculating over whether or not Eve got her title match by injuring Kaitlin, the scheduled opponent for then champ Layla, who joined the team at ringside. Layla tried to take up the debate, but faltered.

    BRODUS CLAY DEF HEATH SLATER – U.S. Champion Antonio Cesaro joined the broadcast team to set up a potential feud with Brodus.

    DOLPH ZIGGLER DEF SANTINO MARELLA – Marella got distracted trying to get his “Cobra” back from Vicki Guerro at ringside, leaving him vulnerable to two “Zigzags.”

    WADE BARRETT DEF JUSTIN GABRIEL – Little more than a squash to build up Barrett.

    TEAM FRIENDSHIP DEF KINGSTON/R-TRUTH – Kane and Bryan constantly arguing left them vulnerable to double-teaming and high-impact spots, however Bryan brought the belts home with the “no” lock.

    RANDY ORTON DEF TENSAI – This was the basic “face takes a beating but keeps coming back,” routine. Orton wins with the RKO.

    DAMIEN SANDOW DEF ZACK RYDER – Ryder actually looked good here, even getting a close two-count with the “broski boot,” but in the end it was another win for Sandow. Prior to this match, Sandow came out to remind us that this was back-to-school season, and attempted to give the crowd a “vocabulary lesson,” by running them down with terms like “ignoramuses,” and “miscreants.” This leads to a (heated) debate by the announcers over what counts as a “big word.”

    SHEAMUS AND JOHN CENA DEF C.M. PUNK AND ALBERTO DEL RIO – We got a fast-paced back and forth, with everyone getting a piece of everyone else. Match ends with Cena getting an AA on Punk for the three-count despite Punk having a foot clearly on the ropes. Punk actually badgers the ref all the way to the back about the decision.

    Highlights of the night included both Jim Ross and John Bradshaw Layfield joining Cole on commentary, and a repeated update on Jerry Lawler. He is home in Memphis, recuperating and will be on RAW next week for a special interview.

    Overall, a solid, if uneventful RAW; at least till the end

  3. RYTMANS RAW REVIEW 08/27/2012

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    MATCH RESULTS

    RYBACK DEF. JACK SWAGGER – Swagger looks strong for about 30 seconds, but winds up just more meat on the plate. The turning point is Swagger landing ugly, face first.

    LAYLA (DIVAS CHAMPION) DEF. NATTIE NIEDHART – Before the match gets going, Vicki comes out to demand this match wrap up quickly so she can make an announcement. She actually spends the whole match on the ring apron, looking bored and rolling her eyes, great way to sell a match. One high spot is Nattie and Layla doing the old Hardy spot where the face (Layla) tries a baseball slide kick, and the heel (Nattie) traps her in the ring apron. Layla ends this with a simple kick to the head. Vick dismisses Layla in a condescending manner and Layla just goes.

    Vicki demands that the board of directors take action against the “mentally unstable” child and put Raw in the hands of an adult, like her. AJ Lee responds by skipping out to the ring, and cracking Vicki in the face. (And the Reason Layla couldn’t do that?) Vicki high-tails it out of there while AJ Lee smiles.

    JOHN CENA DEF. THE MIZ (I-C CHAMPION) – Josh Mathews joins us at ringside. The match is slow, dull, and by the numbers. Miz focuses on striking John in the head/face with strikes and kicks, Cena makes his superman comebacks. The match ends when Cena hits four out of five moves of doom and gets the three.

    SANTINO DEF. HEATH SLATER – Heath Slater gets the upper hand with a cheap shot after an “air guitar” duel, and then goes all out with punching, stomping, knees, and choking. Slater goes up on the ropes, Santino rolls away. Slater goes to the other corner, Santino rolls out again. Slater gets caught in a cradle for a two-count, and Santino takes over. Santino sets the Cobra, but the sax music hits and Aksana is out to distract the cobra. Not Santino, just the cobra. The cobra breaks his trance long enough to strike Slater and Santino gets a three-count, while the cobra stares at Aksana. Yes I did just write that.

    BRODUS CLAY/SIN CARA DEF. DAMIAN SANDOW/CODY RHODES – Sin Cara comes out to NO reaction. Cody takes control by pulling Sin Cara down hard off the ropes. The heels take turns stomping on Sin Cara until he hits the head scissors and makes the tag to Brodus, who squashes Cody until Sandow makes the save. Sandow goes after Cara but goes over and out. Cara hits a flying body-press while Cody goes sternum first into Clay’s cranium. Clay hits the splash and gets a three-count. Match ends in a dance party with the kids at ringside.

    R-TRUTH DEF. DANIEL BRYAN BY COUNT-OUT – The crowd starts in with the “goat-face” chants and Bryan responds with deep breathing. Highlight of the match is Bryan giving “little jimmy” a fist bump. Match ends when Truth tricks Bryan into a round of “dueling crazy” outside the ring. Truth gets the crowd going with the “yes” chant and Bryan gets counted out while going “no” up in some fans’ face.

    SHEAMUS/RANDY ORTON DEF. DOLPH ZIGGLER/ALBERTO DEL RIO – Faces start out strong, but it’s soon Del Rio and Ziggler pounding on Orton. Orton finally tags Sheamus who goes all out on Ziggler. While the ref is distracted, Roberto Rodriguez – Del Rio’s personal announcer – tosses Ziggler his MiTB briefcase. Orton catches him with the chin-lock backbreaker and Sheamus hits the Brogue Kick for the win.

    ZACK RYDER DEF. DAVID OTUNGA – The highlight here is Kane coming out to ringside and Josh Mathews running for his life. Cole gives Kane plenty of room as Kane takes a seat at the table. Otunga actually dominates this match with clubbing forearms and neck-locks, but it ends when Ryder ducks a clothesline and hits the Rough-Ryder for the three-count. Kane rushes the ring and grabs Ryder by the neck, then lets him go. He decides to choke-slam Otunga instead.

    C.M. PUNK DEF. JERRY LAWLER (CAGE MATCH: AS CHOSEN BY WWE UNIVERSE VIA TWITTER POLL) – The brilliance of this match is Punk revisiting Lawler’s feud with Andy Kaufman and playing BOTH roles. As Punk enters the cage, Cole reads his Twitter feed, which has Punk quoting Kaufman’s legendary “New King of Memphis,” promo almost verbatim. Then, in a nod to the king, Punk allows Lawler the first shot. Lawler plays nervous, but eventually lets it go on Punk’s kisser. Punk sells it BIG, even cowering in the corner. However Punk takes control with kicks to Lawler’s shins, backing him into the corner, then he scores a neck-breaker. From then on, the match is mostly Punk bullying Lawler; stomping on him and literally kicking him while he’s down. Punk goes up on the ropes, but Lawler knocks his feet out from under him, and Punk takes a crotch-shot to the turn-buckle. Punk stops Lawler from escaping but Lawler sends Punk face-first into the cage. Lawler takes over with the big right hands and hits his fist-drop for a two count. Punk is bleeding, but stops Lawler from escaping the cage. Punk finishes this with a ROCK-BOTTOM into the Anaconda vice. Lawler taps out.

    After the match, Punk grabs a lock and chain from under the ring and locks himself in w/Lawler and a mike, demanding Lawler call him the best in the world. Lawler refuses, and Punk pummels him with elbow shots. Cena tries to make the save, but can’t get in the cage. He yells for someone to get the cage up. When they finally do, Cena dives for Punk, who heads for higher ground, while Cena checks on Jerry.
    RAW ends with Punk walking out with his belt, and Cena hunched over a battered Lawler.

    HIGHLIGHTS

    The build-up for the main event started with Lawler calling out Punk and demanding an apology for last week. Punk responds by throwing Lawler’s whole career under a bus. From beating up no-names in Memphis, to a slap fight with a comedian, (Kaufman) to losing at Wrestlemania. Punk challenges Lawler to a fight later tonight. Lawler will think about it. A few segments later, Lawler agrees, saying he’s not the best in the world… and neither is Punk.

    We had a series of skits with Bryan in Anger Management classes, building up to his match with R-Truth, that managed to be funnier than you would expect. In the first one, Bryan calmly states his objections to being in these classes, when a small boy in a goat mask walks in. Bryan goes off on the kid, reducing him to tears. The “doctor” running the class explains this was his son, in costume for a school play. The doc tells his son that Bryan is “a very sick man.” Some guy named “Harold” tries to console Bryan.

    “Don’t touch me, Harold.” – Daniel Bryan

    In the second, Bryan responds to Harold whining about his boss with a brief recap of his program with AJ and Kane – who just happens to be the late patient. (Saw THAT coming)

    The last segment has Kane going over (almost) his entire back-story, briefly mentioning Katie Vick even. The shrink sends everyone home assigning them to work on an “anger collage.” Bryan chases him out, berating him the whole time. Harold thanks Kane for sharing, Kane responds by throttling him and snarling “You’re welcome.” Kane made this segment work better than it should have.

    We took a look back at Triple H’s career, leading up to his big promo where he would let us know if he was going to retire or not. He managed to kill over ten minutes without confirming anything, but he was gracious to the fans…

    “Thank you, for letting me, play the game.” – Triple H.

    RYTMANS RANT

    Is there a reason every other person is working a crazy gimmick? We got R-Truth with “little Jimmy,” Daniel Bryan with anger management issues, Kane…duh, and AJ going nuts anytime someone suggest she’s… going nuts. I’m sorry but this comes off as lazy. You can’t come up with anything else? Is Josh going to go nuts because he doesn’t want wrestlers to attack him? Is Cole going to explain the last year or so of douchey behavior was temporary insanity?

    It seems “crazy” is the default whenever WWE can’t figure out what to do with someone. AJ was supposed to be a “manic pixie dream girl next door.” Apparently that didn’t fly, so she’s crazy. R-Truth was angry about WWE putting no faith in him and tried to imply that they didn’t want a black champion. That hit too close to home, so he went “crazy.” Daniel Bryan wants respect for what he can do in the ring? He must be crazy. Kane…
    Well that worked out, still…

    You know, mental illness is a serious, real problem. Some of the fans out there might have someone in their family who suffers from this. You could potentially alienate a huge percentage of the fan base, or maybe just make a whole lot of casual fans uncomfortable with your product.

  4. pintnoir review: TNA iMPACT 8/2/12

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    So Impact opens with the TNA World Champion and X Division Champion respectably on opposing sides against the former World title holder and the X division number #1 contender.

    Austin Aries/Kenny King vs Zema Ion/Bobby Roode:

    This match was an awesome way to open the show and get the blood pumping. Back and forth pin attempts and Aries diving out of the ring over Ion to get to Roode was excellent of course King gets the pin when he drops Ion with the Coronation.

    We get the Aces and Eights video detailing the groups attacks. I find this group interesting and hope that it heralds a return for a certain Guitar swinging co-founder.  This also prompts Sting to come out and want to talk to a certain person he believes is behind the group. Storm is the man he wants to talk to and in typical cowboy fashion James points out how 9 months ago he was jumped by Angle and didn’t whine about it and came out and whooped Kurt’s butt. He doesn’t need anyone to fight his battles. Angle comes out tells Storm that he will make Storm tap out.

    The Phenomenal One tweets from Australia home of displaced British people who owed money to the king. Then from that we get a recap of one of the most ridiculous stories since Eddie Guerrero’s and Rey Mysterio’s who’s your daddy angle, Claire LynchGate. A new twist to the story is that Daniels and Kazarian are throwing her a baby shower. Yeah please take this plot from C list to B list Daniels you are a god send.

    THANKS GEE!

    Taz and Tenay announce the matches for the Hardcore Justice 2012 PPV. First we have a Ladder Match between AJ Styles vs Angle vs Daniels vs Samoa Joe. Then we have a Falls count Anywhere match where Anderson vs RVD vs The Pope vs Magnus and finally a Tables Match with Jeff Hardy vs Bully Ray vs Storm vs Robbie E. I’ll stream that.

    Bully Ray comes out for his match where he announces that he never trusted Storm and will be at Ringside tonight. All this right before Robbie E and Ray have a squash match in most strict of definitions.

    Bully Ray vs Robbie E:

    Robbie T jumps Ray from behind and Robbie E takes advantage reminding me of the Joker during The Dark Knight always attacking when he’s down. Ray battles back and drops a neckbreaker to gain 7 points . Have to love the job squadder in this tournament.

    Then we show the continuing hotness of Madison Rayne and her pull over Earl Hebner. (Yes I may not like her wrestling but well….You know.) Gail confronts the two and brings into question Hebner’s call last week. Then we get Tara and Mickie stretching in the locker room. Nuff said.

    Knockouts Number#1 contenders match : Tara vs Mickie vs Madison vs Gail

    And to cut it short..After another roll up pin this time Madison and Tara, Hebner grants the win to Rayne. This of course will be the Knockout Match for Hardcore Justice.

    Well after a James Storm recap leads into Roode and Aries promising to bring drinks and themselves to the picnic which is the main event of Storm vs Angle.

    Brooke Hogan is backstage with Sting. He wants to know about condition her father. After some “are you sure you can handle the knockouts” talk Brooke gets an envelope with Aces and Eights and promptly tears off her mic and leaves.

    The Greatest Guerrero currently wrestling Chavo is shown warming up backstage for his first Impact match. Creative realizes that the KO Tag titles still exist and show ODB and EY talking about them and his new show.

    Chavo/Hernandez vs Kid Kash/Gunner:

    the unofficial reboot of Mexican America talking on those good ole Southern boys is sure to help reinvigorate and not irratate the tag division. After a decent match Chavo hits the three amigos (triple suplex’s) and a frog splash on Kash for the win. Now if only Daniels and Kazarian can get involved.

    So not only have creative remembered the KO Tag titles but the Television title when Devon and (shudder) Garett come out to tell Angle they want a piece of the Ace’s and Eights. Angle tells them to watch his back. Oh and Wes Brisco of FCW asks Angle for a good word to get his foot in the door.

    Daniels and Kazarian come to the ring to congratulate Claire with a baby shower bringing gifts and a baby doll dressed as AJ. Then the so to be chain smoking mother of one looks into the camera and tells AJ to do the right thing.

    Kurt Angle vs James Storm:

    A good match with many near falls, during the course of the match Garett and Devon, Bully Ray, Roode and Aries come down to the ring. After James Storm hits the Last Call for the win and 7 points, he takes the mic and calls out Aces and Eights only for Roode to counter that because he won they weren’t needed. Bully and Storm battle as Aries and Roode have at it (this is more than likely setting up a Ray vs Storm match after HJ) while Angle looks on.

    I’m likely the unpredictablity of this program especially since its live so please TNA keep iMPACT LIVE!

    Until next week, PNTnoir out.

     

     

  5. RYTMAN RAW REVIEW 06/18/2012

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    We open with a recap of No Way Out, showing John Cena victorious over Big Show and Vince McMahon firing Johnny Laurenitis as Cena puts him through a table. Also, Cyndi Lauper guest stars tonight. (Why?)

    Mick Foley is here as special guest GM for tonight and Smackdown this Friday! His first official act is booking a tag team match between Kane and Daniel Bryan vs. Sheamus and C.M. Punk. Also, we get the farewell address from Johnny Ace.

    Big Johnny comes out in a neck brace, a sling, and on a crutch. As he enters the ring, Foley goes in for a hug or pat on the back, which aggravates Johnny’s injuries. Johnny demands the crowd be quiet, they refuse, Johnny ask Mick for help. Mick asks the crowd to quiet down. Mick then claims Johnny said “Long Island Sucks.” Johnny gets fed up and decides to do the speech later, but announces in his last official act as GM of both RAW and Smackdown, he has booked a handicap match with John Cena against Him, David Otunga, and Big Show.

    As Johnny leaves, Sheamus makes way to the ring for his big match. He locks eyes with Johnny and smirks. Punk is out next. With the kicking of dirt and the big thumb to the back, he mimics a baseball umpire and tells Johnny “you’re outta here.”

    COMMERCIAL

    We come back to see a recap of last week when AJ locked lips with Kane, taking him out of the match and giving her and Punk the win.

    Kane comes out to the pyro and scary Halloween music, followed by “The Flight of the Valkeries,” and Daniel Bryan. The crowd starts in with the “Yes! Yes! Yes!” chant.

    WWE CHAMPION C.M. PUNK / WORLD’S CHAMPION SHEAMUS VS. DANIEL BRYAN / KANE

    This is a fast paced brawl with a lot of high-impact spots. Both Sheamus and Punk play the face in peril, as Kane and Bryan do the most double teaming. The big tide changer is when AJ runs to ringside DRESSED UP EXACTLY LIKE KANE! MASK AND ALL! AJ skips around the ring and back up the stage. Kane follows her while Bryan takes a GTS/Brogue Kick combo from the champions and goes down for a three count.

    WINNERS: C.M. PUNK AND SHEAMUS

    Later tonight, we find out if Brock Lesnar will accept Triple H’s challenge for a match at Summer Slam.

    COMMERCIAL

    We come back to see Dolph Ziggler and Jack Swagger arguing over who the weak link in their team is. Vicki comes in with an “EXCUSE ME!” and demands they settle this in the ring. The men walk off and Vicki smiles.

    Fade in to Johnny and David Otunga sharing a laugh. Show comes in and wants to know what’s so funny. Johnny explains they were laughing at Cena and how bad he’s gonna get hurt tonight in the three on one handicap match, and how the WWE universe doesn’t deserve him. Johnny promises he’s going to leave a lasting impression tonight. Show doesn’t find anything funny anymore.

    COMMERCIAL

    We’re back with Ziggler and Swagger in the ring.

    DOLPH ZIGGLER VS JACK SWAGGER

    This was kind of a slow paced match until Ziggler tweaked his leg. From then on it was Swagger working the leg until Ziggler hit the Zig-Zag and scored a three count. Ziggler gets a kiss from Vicki and struts off into the sunset.

    WINNER: DOLPH ZIGGLER

    COMMERCIAL

    We’re back, and Lawler is reminiscing about the night we got the debut of Mr. Socko and a Stone Cold beat down in Vince’s hospital room. Lawler’s favorite part is Vince taking a bedpan to the head.

    Paul Heyman is here on behalf of Brock Lesnar to respond to Triple H’s challenge.
    •No, Lesnar will not drop his suit against WWE
    •No, Heyman will not drop his suit against Triple H
    •No, Brock Lesnar will not face Triple H at Summerslam
    Thank you for your time, good night.

    Time to Play the Game…

    Triple H is in the ring and this becomes a trade off of two of the best mike workers in this business. I’d fail at trying to quote this verbatim, so please try to find this on line. Basically, both men take shots at each other with winks to the smart marks, but the highlight is Heyman dressing down the game, taking shots at his new position in life. Of course it ends with Heyman out on his back, but it’s still an example of why the WWE needs him back on the stick.

    Up next, U.S. Champion Santino Morella vs. Alberto Del Rio

    COMMERCIAL

    We come back and Ricardo Rodriguez introduces Alberto Del Rio. Del Rio enters in a 150 thousand dollar Audi-T1000 as we get a promo for the Night of Champions PPV. Santino is out next and power-walks quickly to the ring.

    U.S. CHAMPION SANTINO MORELLA VS ALBERTO DEL RIO

    This is a quick match that has Del Rio working particularly vicious, as he’s taking out his frustration over being pulled from No Way Out on the arm of Santino. Santino gets in some offense but it amounts to little as he takes an inziguri to the head while setting up the Cobra. Del Rio hits the arm-bar and Santino taps.

    WINNER: ALBERTO DEL RIO

    Roberto actually gets some payback on Santino with a shoulder-drop as Alberto walks off.

    Promo for Cyndi Lauper making an appearance, featuring her “girls just wanna have fun,” video

    COMMERCIAL

    The lovely Layla, Divas champion, is in the ring introducing Cyndi Lauper AND WENDI RICHTER! She credits both women with setting the foundation for the Divas division. Cyndi looks “influenced,” Wendi has looked better, and the crowd does not love this.

    Heath Slater comes out to call this the train wreck it is. He gets in the ring, makes some snide remarks, and demands the chance to debut HIS NEW SINGLE.

    Slater wants to sing.

    Slater-haters gonna Slater-hate.

    And they do.

    Cue the bagpipes and its ROWDY RODDY PIPER out to make the save. He looks like he had some of what Cyndi had. He’s in the ring with a gold record, making reference to Capt. Lou Albano.

    CROWD: LOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

    He mentions having “a bad day,” all those years ago when he bashed Lou in the head with Cyndi’s gold record in Madison Square Garden, and wants to present her with a new one. They kiss and make-up, when Slater demands he get to finish his song. The segment ends with Lauper bashing Slater with the record. (Might’ve been a botch there as she did it twice, and left Slater with a cut on his head)

    COMMERCIAL

    We come back to a recap of the four way tag team match at No Way Out, featuring AW helping the Prime Time Players win the no.1 contenders spot for the tag team title, at the expense of Primo/Epico, the team he originally expressed interest in managing.

    AW comes out to introduce himself as the owner of All World productions and the new manager of The Prime Time Players.

    COMMERCIAL

    PRIMO/EPICO VS THE PRIME TIME PLAYERS

    It’s a very basic tag team match, with the bruisers (PTP) trying to out-muscle the high-flyers (P/E.) The match is cut short when AW simply pushes his team out of range and they take a count-out loss, explaining that his team already has the no.1 contender spot and doesn’t need this.

    WINNERS: EPICO/PRIMO

    Side Note: The crowd is DEAD for this match. No real faces to root for.

    COMMERCIAL

    We’re back with a promo for the upcoming 1000th show, July 23rd. We OFFICALLY go three hours on that night. (Question: didn’t we do that already?) DEGENERATION X will make a special appearance. That should kill the first two hours.

    Back in the ring, we have Johnny Ace, in a neck brace, arm-sling, and a crutch, cutting a promo, calling the WWE universe losers, (one by one,) because we’ve lost the era of “people power.” Next time we’ll see him is his hall of fame induction. This is the darkest day in WWE history, and he promises Cena will get an epic beat down. He introduces his tag team partner David Otunga, who comes to the ring making his usual pose-down, and next, the Big Show.

    COMMERCIAL

    We come back with Teddy joining the announce team and ripping up the name tag Johnny made him wear. Michael Cole gives him an epic ass-kissing. Big Show has the mike. He thanks Johnny for his Iron clad contract, his huge bonus, the chance to be a real giant, says he has nothing to prove, AND WALKS OUT ON THE MATCH!

    The music hits and John Cena is out.

    HANDICAP MATCH: JOHN CENA VS JOHNNY ACE/DAVID OTUNGA
    The crowd is really split tonight with the “Let’s go Cena/Cena Sucks” chant. The match begins with Cena dominating Otunga and Johnny Ace backing off every time Otunga tries for a tag. Johnny changes his mind once Otunga gets back in control. Once tagged in, Johnny ditches his wrappings and stomps away on Cena. Cena kicks out of a pin, Johnny tries for a tag AND OTUNGA WALKS OUT ON ACE!

    Johnny, in disbelief, turns around slowly. Cena unloads big on Johnny Ace with the “five moves of doom.” Three AA’s and an STF later, Johnny Ace taps out.

    WINNER: JOHN CENA

  7. MPX 2-11-12

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    MPX had a really nice show tonight. I took Mother Ruff since Mrs. Ruff bailed on me at the last minute (something about a Ryan Gosling movie I DVR’d for her). It was cold outside but not so cold inside. The crowd took a while to warm up. MPX had some debuts and returns and continued with some storylines.

    First match: Zach T. w/BC & Viktor Tadlock w/Claudia vs. Li Fang & Seph Annunaki w/James Hawke

    As you can tell, this thing was totally on sensory overload. Seph had a much improved ring presence and was a lot more polished in the ring this week. To me, the highlight of the match was Machiko walking out to ringside (*swoon*) and observing yet again. I like Li Fang’s style. He incorporates a certain martial arts style that makes him unique. Unfortunately for the wrestlers the crowd was dead. There was a lot going on outside the ring that I think took away from the match inside the ring. Seph lost when he got CLOCKED by Zach T.

    Winner: Zach & Tadlock

    Second match: Danny Saint w/Kristopher Haiden vs. Regrub w/Team Kyle

    I liked the build-up they are giving the Haiden/Saint vs. Team Kyle tag match. Saint has a great look and, especially with the head shaved, he looks like a wrestler you would see on Raw (hint, hint, WWE). I have seen these two have some not-so-good matches. I thought this one was pretty decent. Regrub had a botch, but I thought the wrestlers played it off pretty well. Choice went over and told him to focus. Then he botched again and Saint put him in a submission hold and Regrub tapped out.

    Winner: Saint

    There was a brief vignette where Murdoch threatened Barrett Brown in the back. Short and painless.

    Third match: $Payday$ vs. Kenny Steele

    It has been fun to watch $Payday$ & Kenny Steele grow as workers over the past year or so. This was a fun match. $Payday$ played a great face and Kenny played a great heel. It was everything wrestling should be. This was also the match that the crowd awoke. I also liked the story they told here. I wrote down that I think this is the best match I have seen either have. Kenny cheated by using the ropes.

    Winner: Steele

    Fourth match: Barrett Brown vs. “Headbanger” Gregory James

    I think I can very confidently say that this is Top 5 for best matches in MPX history. They both came out wearing each others’ t-shirts. I liked the little story there of mutual respect. Headbanger is getting so much better in the ring. He is taking every opportunity to wrestle everywhere he can and work on his experience. That’s what is keeping a few other wrestlers in MPX from making it to the next level. You can tell the difference in between where he is now and where he was a year ago. Barrett also took some really sickening bumps. He has so much committed-ness to his work. This was also the best work I have seen come from Barrett. The finish was Frankie coming out and whallopping Barrett Brown in the head with a chair.

    Winner by dq: Brown

    Really good match. During the intermission, we had the lovely Ms. Valentine (wearing an awful blond wig) handing out Valentines and candy. (Psst… Ms. Valentine is very naturally pretty and doesn’t need a blond wig.) Then Claudia came out and was going to give her a very special gift. She was going to kiss her and moments before we went to Hot Lesbian Action, Claudia attacked her. I liked the attack angle, but Ms. Valentine came out looking like a combination between 1990 Sting and Al Wilson. But I like them having women’s wrestling so I’m looking forward to their feud.

    “Just” James Johnson came out after the intermission with “Killer” Kody Kox. He announced that he got a contract for a title shot. All he had to do was beat anybody he chose. So Jason Silver came out (which how is it I’ve still never seen him wrestle?) and accepted Johnson’s challenge. The thing was that Johnson wasn’t going to wrestle Silver. He was going to choose someone randomly out of the crowd a la Andy Kaufman. He played around with the crowd for a little bit before choosing someone.

    Fifth match: “Just” James Johnson vs. “Jennifer”

    He found this woman om the crowd he chose. She looked annoyed but got in the ring with him. They sized each other up and he swung, she ducked and then did a spinning heel kick. He was out for the count.

    Winner: Jennifer

    Kate interviewed the mysterious woman in the ring who revealed she had studied martial arts all his life. Fun story, and Mr. Johnson made the rest of us husbands look bad.

    Sixth match: Scott Murdoch & Billy Club vs. BC w/Zach T & Zero the Antihero

    This was Billy Club’s MPX debut. I was happy to see him since I like what I’ve seen out of him before. Scott Murdoch does not wrestle. He destroys (in a good way). He knows how to use the ring as a weapon and it offers a realistic looking match. BC was upset to be partnered up with Zero. Zero makes the Payton-less Colts look like the ’72 Dolphins. Murdoch started off the match by saying “Say it with your chest.” Then he did the Scott Murdoch chops of doom. Zero did a nice job of putting over his opponent. BC did the heel thing of not wanting to get in there. Murdoch and Club worked really well and then out of nowhere Murdoch turned on him. BC & Zero got the win.

    Winner: BC & Zero

    Zero won a match, even if it were as part of a tag team. After the match, there was the Arcane-Wylde standoff. Ben had a very funny monologue but he didn’t quite have the crowd hanging on his words. He hasn’t cut many promos before the crowd so it wasn’t bad for a first promo. Gauging the crowd is something that takes time. If Arcane wins, Wylde goes over to his side. If Wylde wins, Arcane goes over to the “Wylde” side. Then Viktor Tadlock took the mic, said Claudia messed up everything and split from Arcane. Tadlock is such a natural heel; I hope he’s not face too long.

    Seventh match: Kristopher Haiden w/Danny Saint vs. The Choice Matt Andrews & Ryan Gauge w/Team Kyle

    So this was supposed to be Choice-Haiden but it became a handicap match. I hate handicap matches, but I digress. The work was just fine in this match. Haiden has been working on losing that extra holiday weight. The story was pretty fun in that Choice wanted to keep Gauge in the ring and not him. This was good build-up for the tag title match. Andrews won by pulling the tights.

    Winner: Andrews & Gauge

    Main event: WASP vs. Frankie Fisher

    I really liked the feel to this. This match was about revenge. WASP came out with $Payday$ and told him he was serious and to go to the back. He cut a really nice promo about how Frankie had attacked Andy Dalton and he considered Andy Dalton a close friend. And he was going to soften Frankie up for the Headbanger. What is interesting is that I have seen these two wrestle before and they had a completely different match than they did this night. This was a brutal match (but not to watch). The Headbanger distracted Frankie long enough for WASP to take the win.

    Winner: WASP

    GM Mike Dolenz came out and since Frankie had laid his hands on Headbanger the last show, Headbanger would be able to choose the stipulation. He chose First Blood.

    All in all… A good showing from MPX. The main event was good, $Payday$-Steele was good, Brown-Headbanger is equal to anything you might see on an ROH iPPV. The build-up is going pretty good for this “Fight to Survive” show.

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  8. Smackdown 01/20/12: Sin City Smackdown, Actually.

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    So much to talk about in the world of professional wrestling this week… but tonight, I’ll just focus on the Blue Brand, Smackdown. Be sure to tune in for BWF Radio this Sunday as we run down the week’s news and results. Until then, let’s get ourselves immersed in the gambling culture pages like Ted is Real with some good reviews from www.boomtownbingo.com/good-day-bingo-review. Let’s not forget the grapplers that do battle there, shall we?

    Logo
    Somehow this happens…

    (more…)

  9. Raw Is Perez Hilton? 1-16-12

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    For some reason Perez Hilton is polluting my Monday Night Raw. I personally think he has no place on our planet or in our species. Last week Kane laid out Zack Ryder because he couldn’t change a flat tire. Maybe Hilton can show Ryder how to change a flat tire. Things could be a lot worse though. We had the Funkasaurus debut last Monday and I’m curious to see where that goes. I’m also curious to see what Jericho does tonight. If you are looking for some great tires check out these Tire Shops for great deals.

    We start off with Mick Foley. The great part about Mick Foley is that he can laugh at himself. Foley will be in the Royal Rumble. I will only be happy if he takes Jinder Mahal’s spot. Then he is interrupted by Vickie Guerrero and Dolph Ziggler berating him for taking a wrestler’s spot. And then CM Punk comes out they have a nice face off. And then Johnny Ace comes out. He says he will be impartial. True story. My wife was passed out on the couch. When Johnny Ace came out, she groaned in her sleep.

    We get footage of the tag belts changing hands. We had a nice match between the Colons &  (6 if you count Rosa Mendes. Some of you may have to think about this a little).

    Chris Jericho will be in the main event. He turns out the light and lets his jacket sparkle.

    Then we do a recap of Zack Ryder being unable to change a flat tire. Eve will accompany him to ringside. Ryder must have a member the size of Long Island cause I can’t think of any reason for Eve to still be with him after the “unable to change a flat tire” thing. Swagger destroyed Ryder and won the title.

    In the back, Johnny Ace apologizes to Zack Ryder because he wasn’t medically cleared. Then Eve gets in his face and Ace tells her to respect authority. Huh?

    R-Truth comes out and Wade Barrett interrupts him. Then after Barrett is done with his monologue, R-Truth begins his comments with ” ‘Allo, Govnuh.” Then there was a silly look at R-Truth’s trip to Disney. I hate to admit it, but I liked it. Then Miz came out followed by Sheamus. Teddy made a 4-man Over the Top Battle Royal match. R-Truth won. Nice match.

    Then Jack Swagger comes out and he’s going to face John Cena? This was never a match. It was just a beatdown. This John Cena had some fire. Then Kane told Cena he was embracing the hate. Interesting.

    We then had Brodus Clay kill JTG. Next to him is the chick whose second favorite match is Clay-Hawkins. I don’t know if this is right, but Funkasaurus is probably the best thing on Raw tonight.

    Daniel Bryan cut a nice promo about why Big Show is a horrible person. The great part is that Bryan was a heel who told the truth. I really liked that.

    The main event was really good. Jericho got tagged in, soaked up the adoration of the crowd and then walked off. Mark Henry chased Daniel Bryan to the back. And to make up for the missing person, Mick Foley came out. After the faces won, Johnny Ace came out and reversed the decision. Punk laid in to Ace about being pathetic and then walked off. Then Foley had a great face-off with Ace where Ace snapped. I had never seen Ace show that much fire before.

    This turned out to be a really good Raw. I need more like these.

  10. PatMan Picks Stampede Classics. Bret Hart vs Animal Hamaguchi

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    Welcome back to another trip in the Stampede time machine, were we will yet again look back at some classic old school wrestling from some of the legends of the past. This time around , young Bret Hart who is very early in his career gets involved in yet another great inter promotional wrestling match that Stampede was famous for having from time to time. This time its not against any World Champion from one of the big American federations such as the AWA, but a match against an opponent from Japan named Animal Hamaguchi. Animal also went by the name Higo Hamaguchi and was a wrestler in many of the great Japanese wrestling promotions of the time such as Japan Pro, All-Japan and New Japan Wrestling. While most people know that Stampede Wrestling was broadcasting across Canada and also into the northern United States, the show was also syndicated in many other countries across the globe, including Japan. Heck, some middle eastern nations at this time did not have any WWF or NWA wrestling at all on their T.V., yet they were watching Stampede for years. This could  help explain Bret’s ultra popularity over there. Worth noting this week is that this is actually a Japanese syndicated version of Stampede Wrestling, so its a pretty unique video to watch. Also worth noting are all the photographers at ringside.  Check out www.wonderpodonline.com for more  PatMan picks and for episode 90 of our Video Game Podcast!  See you all next time!

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