Hey! They’re in the U.K.! Also known as forced attempts to recreate the chants on RAW after WrestleMania 29 Land! YEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHH! Has anyone else noticed they changed Fandango’s music and added crowd noise? I did. Let’s get to “entertainment you” of a show. Hopefully Shannon Moore makes a surprise return? Only one way to find out. So step up on that stool and strap on your noose , folks…. It’s hopping time!
Ok, it can’t be THAT bad. Nobody kill yourself, it’s just fucking wrestling. Go bitch about it on the internet like everybody else. That’s how we roll, peeps.
In all seriousness, there will be a much watch match on this show, as you probably already know.
We start the show with a replay of the pay per view where we watch Bobby Roode retain the World Title after infuriating Sting by spitting on him. This causes a hoopla the results in Sting swinging and missing Roode and yet hitting Jeff Hardy with the title belt. And being forced to count the three. Welcome to iMPACT wrestling.
The Leader of the Selfish Generation comes to the ring to brag about still wearing the strap. He even has the lovely Christe Hemme announce him twice and delusionally hears the crowds jeers and boos and thinks their cheering his name. Roode sounds so much like Boo who could blame him. This is of course followed by Steve with mic in hand. He announces that Roode will have a rematch against Hardy tonight! In a No Time Limit, No Disqualification match. And it starts after the break.
Roode (c) vs Hardy: Hardy comes out strong taking out his frustrations out on the selfish one. Hardy basically owns Roode for the majority of the match. That is until Hardy goes for a whisper in the wind, which Roode counters with a ref bump into the ropes. Before unceremoniously baseball slides Hardy to the outside. After a momentary breather Roode heads outside to piledrive Hardy on the ramp which is reversed into a back toss. Hardy is getting fired up throws Roode into the ring, takes off his shirt…only to be jumped from behind by Angle. He throws Jeff into the steps before throwing him back into the ring where Roode is waiting with a spear for the three. Still your champion Bobby Roode.
We next have a somber moment about Jesse Sorenson who was injured at AAO when Zema Ion land knee first on the top of his head. Compacted C1 vertabrae which left him numb from the waist down but four days later he seems to be recovering nicely and hopefully he will soon return to wrestling.
Speaking of Zema Ion he has a X Division tag team match where the hairsprayed one teams with A Double to take on Alex Shelley and Shannon Moore? The question mark is for Moore who just seems randomly thrown in but more than likely it was supposed to be Sorenson who is injured. This as usual is a exciting match with the similar but conflicting personas of Ion and Aries attempting to co-exist with there massive egos in the ring. Spots where Shannon grabs the hairspray and using it causing Ion to baseball slide kick him in the back from inside the ring was a good show of his heel nature. Eventually Aries gets ready to put away Shelley but is unknowingly tagged from behind by Ion who sneaks in and rolls up Shelley for the win.
Yeah Gail Kim and Madison Rayne are coming to the ring next for what should be entertainment. (sigh) But what we get is them sitting ringside as a Knockouts Over the top Battle Royal takes place. We have TNT, The sitas, Mickie, Winter Love, ODB and Favorite Velvet Sky. I have to state right now that I stopped reading spoilers on Impact a couple of months ago so here I was hoping for Sarita against all hope. Well after an exhausting nail biter we have Sarita standing against..Velvet?! No words for this. Velvet tricks Sarita like Wyle E. Coyote by allowing her to charge at her before dropping down causing her to fly out of the ring. (huh) Velvet does a quick celebration before Madison charges in and dumps her over. Come to find out that Madison announced before the match while standing in the ring that everyone in this ring is wrestling for the #1 contendership. Even with Vince Russo officially gone from TNA we still get a swerve. Gail who is in shock screams at Madison who points at her signifying her crown. Thank you TNA for giving me hope before dashing it.
When overated is beaten by
Magnus and Joe comment on being Champions before the rematch is announced for next week. A Garett adn Gunner segment is played meaning the return of Eric B. triumphant. I’ll pass. But for some reason we see Chelsea, former vale for Desmond Wolfe accompany them.
Oh and a promo interview with soem dude sporting his 60 minutes (his words) style MMA show. Which by the way should have us all excited.
Eric Young is ready to redeem himself for not calling or acknowledging ODB on Valentines Day. Yeah, more filler to pad the show.But don’t worry they eventually make up after he sings her an Ode to ODB, I really wish we could have some purpose other than comedy for ODB and EY.
mediocrity
Main Event: James Storm vs Bully Ray- #1 contenders match.
We have two wonderful contenders in a predictable match. We all know the endgame for Roode, which is his partner James Storm. But this is a nice distraction. Ray really goes all old school heel getting the heat he needs to push the crowd in Storm’s favor. Stripping The Cowbow down to his bare leg goes to work on the leg. Storm who is taking a beating is finally allowed some offense when Ray brags to much take a shot in the mouth. Before you know it Storm hits the Last Call for the three and his chance at Roode. At ringside sits Brandon Jacobs of the NY Giants, Storm calls him out to celebrate. before you know it Ray comes in and belts Storm from behind. Bullying Jacobs before spitting beer in his face. This sets off Jacobs who shoves Ray leading the to the always slow D’lo, Simon D, and Al snow who dart to pull Jacobs off Ray.
Backstage Captain Obvious (Wonder Years) interviews Storm and jacobs basically detailing the entire scenario over again after just seeing the events. Jacobs who’s first lines are incoherent seems to play along. Next Steve comes out to announce when Roode will face Storm.
Calling out Roode he tells him he has no where to run because Storm will face him in Nashville, TN at Lockdown. Roode quietly and suddenly kicks STing in the balls. Then knees him in them for good measure before blasting him with the belt
The six sided ring has returned, along with Tenay and Borash on the announce team. Instead of doing a match by match review I would like to point out what worked (for me) what was okay and what didn’t.
First what did work.
The match of the night. Bar none. The contract signing 4 way. Watching these men rip each other apart for a chance at a iMPACT wrestling contract was amazing, it went so fast and so furiously with all the near falls and counters that I felt that my brain melted from all the excitement. And you know its good when the crowd is hyped. The feeling was a warm one to say the least. Even the interviews leading up to the match throughout the show got me hyped. Seeing snippets of their personalities against the interviewer So Cal Val was just icing on the cake. When it was all over and the winner was announced I know along with the audience that Impact should of signed all four competitors.
Winner Austin Aries.
The Ultimate X: Number #1 contenders match.
With the Motor city Machine Guns and Ink Inc on the shelves for the time being, we have both Shannon Moore and Alex Shelley going solo for a chance at the X division championship. The other two contenders Amazing Red and (sigh) Robbie E also came in to make an almost well rounded match. Innovative on the part of Shannon Moore toward the end on finding a way to reach the X. Amazing Red pulled a sick spot where he was tossed out the ring, corkscrewing onto Moore and Shelley on the outside. Even though I will mention him in the bad category, Robbie E pulled some decent maneuvers to keep the others away from the prize. Nothing fancy but it was better than his match against Kaz and Gen Me. But in the end Alex Shelley fulfilled his dream and won. This of course lead to Chris Sabin walking out to congratulate him to applause from the crowd.
winner Alex Shelley
*The return of Shark Boy
*Brian Kendrick winning the X championship
*Cameos by Curry Man and Suicide
Now time for the okay.
AJ Styles vs Daniels/ Jerry Lynn vs RVD
I know some fans may argue but sorry these matches reminded me of Jarrett vs Angle at Slammiversary, their earlier matches were ten times better and it just seemed to planned out ring wise. Everything seemed to paint by numbers I’m trying to say. Especially when you look at RVD vs Lynn, its as if they watched videos of their earlier ECW bouts and paste and copied it into their match. All that was missing was Bill Alphonso and a Philadelphia arena. As for the Daniels/Styles match it just seemed to plodding and not innovative enough to best their earlier encounters, specifically the Iron man match. For Nostalgia purposes and to help the buy rate of the PPV this just seemed forced and lackluster.
winner Styles/RVD
Kazarian vs Samoa Joe
This match seemed good on paper with the hopes of seeing past moves/finishers I was cheated out of the Reverse Flux Compassitor?! Joe put on some good spots with the suicide dive but everything was on his end was expected. Kaz who should of brought it for me to be convinced just seemed to do average work which resulted in a lame roll up pin after reversing the Samoan chokeout. Even the fans were chanting B.S. It was short and felt rushed.
winner Kaz
Now comes the bad. And boy was it bad.
Douglas Williams vs Matt Haskins (who?)
This was so out of place it was sickening watching Williams trying to hype up Haskins as a fellow Brit to which the crowd chanted (Who are You) was hysterically bad. The kid was nervous albeit he had some good spots but it didn’t excuse his slip up on the turnbuckle delaying the finish. This was essentially a dark match inserted into the PPV. No one cared to see it and the finish which came after the Kaz vs Joe match was an insult. Another roll up pin following a botched finisher?
winner Douglas Williams
Generation Me vs Shark boy/Eric Young
Shark Boy’s return aside everyone could tell that due to the sidelining of MCMG this was just thrown together to give Gen Me an opponent. Failed opportunities all around. EY was still EY even though he did put his talented all in the ring. Gen Me shown brightly even though every time I watched the match (excitement of Shark Boy withstanding) I really wanted to see a rematch with the Guns. In the end EY and Shark Boy win with a double chummer/wheelbarrow.
winner EY and Shark boy
Oh wait I forgot, why is Eric Young looking like a rip off of Ring of Honor gimmick wrestler Grizzly Redwood? Championship beard my ass. I just thought about it why not just have the television title defended where Eric Young took on Douglas Williams saving us sans Shark Boy of two unnecessary matches?
The over booking of the Kendrick vs Abyss Championship match.
I knew something was up when this match preempted the Styles/Daniels. Again like Slammiversary when the championship match is before a non title match you know overbooking is looming. That aside the match was the definition of ignominious, Kendrick bounced around off Abyss like a bird hitting a sliding glass door. And when the match finally went from degrading to interesting what happens, a ref bump! And who should come out but Eric Bischoff. The man who the spotlight can never dodge, even Hogan missed it. One dress down later, Kendrick blasts Bischoff only to be attacked by Immortal, who are then attacked by the X division roster, Immortal after clearing the ring go to finish Kendrick only to be met with more X division wrestlers making them clear the ring. Then I’m treated to a repeat of the notoriously horrid Knockouts tag match finish from Victory Road where Rosita some how sat on Winter and held her down for 3 count. We see again this time with Kendrick playing the part of Rosita with Abyss as Winter just lying there while a little man pins him. This chimerical display of booking took me completely out of the match. Follow that with carnations? roses? falling from the rafters was the movie equivalent of a sappy teen romance ending.
winner Brian Kendrick
*Robbie E needs to stop selling like he’s having an epileptic seizure. It was distracting and you could even tell Amazing Red was bothered by it when he looked at him with a “are you serious” look after dropping him with a kick.
There is no scintilla of a doubt that the X division will continue, with the additions of Haskins,Aries and Shelley now the number one contender we should see where this botched opportunity leads iMPACT Wrestling. Hopefully this is the sign that Dixie and Co have plans to furnish the Division with well rounded competitors who will wow us with their personalities and dare I say mic skills non gimmicky talk withstanding-looking at you, Kendrick-But we will have to wait. Until then I have to say Destination X was a “C” effort at best and C- at worst. Just average. Considering all the misused talent we could of seen better.
*And the commentary was average, we needed Don West. West and Tenay would have elevated this to a B. Just saying.
No disrespect to the fans with the title. I’m a fan myself but this show with all this innuendo of changes lacked any. The ring and outside arena still had TNA posted everywhere with a hue of blue and added rows of seats which another reviewer on TNAsylum pointed out. Was that the change? I doubt it. But here’s to Thursday on finding out. Well lets get into what TNA Impact Wrestling is all about. Impact Wrestling presents Sacrifice.
Mexican America vs Ink Inc.
I wasn’t expecting much from this match. I mean Anarquia has shown a total disregard to impress and Hernandez just doesn’t seem to care anymore. But then you have Jesse Neal and his infectious energy makes me smile. Oh and Shannon Moore and his book make me shake my head. But then seeing as how Moore had one of the best spots of the evening. Sailing off the ring onto Hernandez with a moonsault. The match was sub par besides with predictable interference by Rosita and Sarita. And a botched over the top rope clothesline by Moore on Anarquia. Shockingly due to a miscommunication involving Moore attempting to hit Rosita and Neal objecting. Hernandez was able to hit his modified border toss on Neal giving the win to Mex America. Why was I shocked? Ink Inc is the number one contender for the tag titles leading into Slammiversary. I’m adamant that Christina Von Eerie should be there as well but that is probably wishful thinking. So naturally, Ink Inc getting the win would make them look strong going in. But we still have 3 weeks to make amends.
Hopefully with it now being iMPACT Wrestling we can stop having Promos in our PPV’s. We get one here as Jeff and Karen come out to announce that they can not compete in the mixed tag match. Foley comes out again the announcement “wrestling matters” is uttered. He tells the Jarretts that the next time they bring X rays make sure it doesn’t belong to a 6’6 African American male. Karen shrieks throws off boot in a temper tantrum leading to Mick exiting. Match on. The crowd is amp to have Chyna.
Brian Kendrick…shoots a promo on the X Division. I wish I knew what he was saying since he is all mystical and what not. All I caught was the word molested. I don’t now in what context. But it was said. To sum up he just promises to show how important the X division is.
Brian Kendrick vs Robbie E w/ Cookie.
Robbie comes out as Cookie walks out messing with he phone/camera? Anyway the crowd seems to be nonchalant. Mr. Gym Tan Wrestling, fist pumps for Cookie while she takes a picture. Again the crowd could care less. Kendrick steps out in his white robe to a good crowd pop. Kendrick 1, Robbie 0. Once in he puts on his gimmick meditating dead center in the ring. Cookie, trying to win a screeching contest against Karen shouts that “you’re a freak!” As Robbie holds her back. Exit Cookie. And we have Kendrick alive and booting E in the face. Kendrick 2, Robbie 0. Then the junior banshee interferes. Distracted Robbie takes control beating Kendrick ragged even getting him outside of the ring. Where Cook’s proceeds to choke him with her boot. Robbie setting up for his signature neck-breaker (god forbid I have no idea what’s its called. And I refuse to call it “Rude Awakening” in fear that Rick would haunt me) Reversed. Kendrick beats Rob with a dropkick into a pin. Huh?! I knew he sucked but really. Kendrick acts all crazy holding Earl Hebner’s hand. He even weirds out Rob when he tries to shake his hand. Your winner: Kendrick.
Promo time again folks. But this time its hot cougarish Tara. Trust me I’ve seen this woman without make-up Vickie has nothing on her. Tara’s unhappy with Madison. The bossiness and in general being a lackey. Then Madison appears to remind Tara about how she has a job because of her. Folks I won’t lie when she came on all that kept going through my mind was “Why is she here?” “She should of stayed in a shimmer tag team” and my favorite thought “God, please severe her vocal cords. please I’ll go to church,eventually”. Time for the match.
Mickie James (c) vs Madison Rayne (With Tara’s freedom on the line)
Here comes the Queen Bee (seriously she has a sash with the title) and the gaudiest oversized crown I’ve ever seen. That better be from the dollar general. In full royal mode, the crowd is dead. Canned heat where are you? In the words of another TNA watcher, The Rayne Experiment has failed. No one and I do mean no one cared when she came out. Then Mickie came out. The roof exploded. She could do no wrong. I seriously believe that she could of killed a puppy and folks would still cheer for her. Lets get ready to… Tara’s theme music hits. The crowd breaks into further excitement. Again the Rayne Experiment elicits no response. A faceoff between Rayne and Tara distracts long enough for Mickie to get on the offensive. Tara seems conflicted. Should she hit Mickie. Only a minute in and I’m already sensing an overbook coming on.
To break it down simply this match is a TNA haters dream. Overbooking. check. horrible in ring competitor. check. A last minute reintroduction of the loaded glove. check. Tara makes the save for Mickie after 2!! Ref bumps. Tara finally makes the decision to cold cock Rayne with the loaded glove letting Mickie get the 3count. Crap match over.
Sorry about that but I was a big fan of the Knock out division. In 2009. This was a bad match indeed. But it will get better in the future, right? No. Chances are we will see Velvet Sky vs Mickie for the title. At least she’s over?!
Fortune promo. Line remembered. Kaz- Max Buck you wouldn’t be a star even if thrown by a ninja. Or something to that effect. Other smack talk by Beer Money and AJ. Next.
Max Buck vs Kazarian(c)
Good mat wrestling. (I swore when this was going on someone yelled “boring”) Buck plays the egotistical heel to perfection. Slapping and name calling. Some really cool spots with a over the ropes leg drop. Buck reversed 3 fade to blacks by Kaz. Kaz follows up with a powerbomb to the outside. Buck comes in with a top rope cutter and a 450 degree splash for a two count. Kaz goes old school (shout out to Allison Danger) and beats Buck with a shining wizard. Good. Now if only it was hyped.
Promo. A 6’6 360lb homeless man talks about pain and breaking a undefeated streak. Then I realize that its Abyss. Next up its TNA’s John Cena taking on Crimson.
With Crimson’s imaginary 5 month winning streak on the line (I now I’m being harsh but times have changed from Samoa Joe) he takes on Abyss strong only slowing down when he spears a turnbuckle. After that the Cena of TNA controls the majority of the match. Crimson resumes control with one double clothesline and a seven count. Abyss reverses with a chokeslam. then comes Janice. Crimson spears Abyss, Abyss loses Janice. Crimson goes to the well once too often and is big booted. Abyss pulls out a Vader Bomb from the corner. 2 count. Crimson hits Cena with the Red Sky Powerbomb (D’lo Brown’s Sky High) keeping his streak intact. After some posturing Abyss goes back to lick his wounds. Now please can we have Joe vs Crimson now?
Promo. Its like deja vu. No. Its a vignette. Beer Money vs Hardy/Harris
I’ll keep it short. Harris plays a heel and won’t fight Storm one on one. He’ll only sneak attack. So no big showdown between the two. Which would of made sense. Remember 2006 when the team of AMW split? Storm was the one who attacked Harris. Almost taking out an eye. Leading to that hilarious blindfold match. Well now its Harris’ turn to play heel as he and Matt lose after Beer Money hits Harris with the AMW finisher Death Sentence. Mind Games no avail. Next.
Oh its Bully Ray being interviewed by Jeremy Borash. And he is being a bully threatening to beat on Borash and making lewd comments about AJ’s wife. I hope she isn’t watching. So we will see Ray vs Styles? Nope.
Dreamer vs Styles
Lets keep it real short. Ray interferes in this No DQ bout this sets Styles up for a piledriver on a table. Dreamer wins. Next.
Another vignette. Not complaining as long as its not a promo.
The Jarret’s vs Angle/Chyna
Kurt is an undiscovered comedian. His smirk during the entire match was classic. It brought back memories of the axe wielding incident at the wedding. Chyna is over big time. Fans are chanting for her to kick Karen’s butt. After a good back and forth between Jarret and Angle, Chyna is finally tagged in. The fans erupt. false alarm. Jarret stays in the ring and continues the fight with Kurt. Angle goes for his exploding triple Germans then an Angle slam. 2count. Chyna comes in and body slams then vertical suplexe’s Jarret. Eventually chasing Karen back into the ring Chyna splashes Karen in the corner. Karen dazed is hit with the double under hook DDT. (pedigree for wwe fans). Chyna locks in the ankle lock followed by Kurt on Jarret. Karen taps. Angle/Chyna victorious.
Main Event Vignette.-Then Anderson comes out to blog and commentate.
RVD vs Sting
The match is decent. Rob shows off. Sting pulls out some moves. They fight in the crowd. RVD pulls an impressive cross body onto Sting from the second stands. Sting blocks Rolling Thunder. A Stinger Splash is countered by a spin kick. One botched deathdrop then a rinse and repeat Deathdrop closes the match with the win for Sting. Afterwards Anderson has a stare down with Sting. Slammiversary IX promo
And that is the end of Sacrifice. Wasn’t great but I didn’t pay for it so decent. Here’s hoping for the iMPACT arena changes come Thursday.
Welcome everybody to a special Tuesday edition of ThinkSoJoE’s Thoughts. This column usually comes to you on Saturdays, but it’s a special occasion. Last night was the night – TNA finally tried to battle RAW with a head to head live show. Both shows had their high points – but in my opinion, WWE won the battle.
Eric Bischoff knows television. Eric Bischoff will tell you that’s his business. He’ll tell you that he was the one who put Nitro on three minutes earlier than RAW and he was the one who knew enough to beat RAW back from commercial breaks to get the viewers watching and hooked. It didn’t quite work out for TNA last night, and here’s why. TNA aired the first hour unopposed by WWE, and in the first 30 minutes had Jeff Hardy, Shannon Moore, and Ric Flair pop up on their program – but they also had a match that is unique to TNA and it’s X-Division end in a no-contest and fan chants of “This-Is-Bull-Shit.” Tara and ODB managed to change the word “bullshit” to “awesome” before Scott Hall and Sean Waltman showed up and TNA aired nearly 10 minutes in commercials. Credit to TNA where it’s due – they did what any of us would’ve done and had Hulk Hogan debut at 9:57 EST.
Many of us didn’t care and switched to RAW anyway, knowing full well that Bret Hart would kick off the show. Those who continued to watch TNA got to hear Hall, Waltman, Hogan, Kevin Nash, and Bischoff repeat themselves for 10 minutes. The moment TNA went to commercial – which would likely be the moment that fans changed the channel to see what was going on over on RAW, Bret Hart shook Shawn Michaels’ hand, and the duo hugged. This is the point for me when WWE won the battle – hands down.
TNA’s show continued to put on good wrestling matches in between the myriad of talk segments, including an awesome match for the TNA Knockouts Tag Team Championships in which Hamada and Awesome Kong defeated Taylor Wilde and Sarita for the titles, and a short but good match between Pope D’Angelo Dinero and Desmond Wolfe. RAW had an excellent tag title match pitting DX against JeriShow, and the WWE Champion Sheamus in action against “Little Evan Bourne.”
WWE’s main match of the night pit Randy Orton against recent rival Kofi Kingston, but anybody who didn’t tune in to iMPACT for the TNA Championship match featuring the Champion, The Phenomenal AJ Styles, defending his title against Kurt Angle missed an early Match of the Year candidate. Throughout this match, fan chants ranged from the usual “Let’s Go AJ/Let’s Go Angle” to “This Is Epic” and the hilarious considering Earl Hebner was the referee “Who needs Bret?” Styles won this match, which was so amazing that Ric Flair watched from the top of the aisle and Hulk Hogan came out to commend the duo after the match. iMPACT ended with an old school nWo beat down as Hall, Nash, and Waltman beat down Mick Foley, much to the apparent surprise of Hulk Hogan.
As soon as the show went off the air, the Chairman made his way to the ring. With the knowledge that Bret Hart was on the show, fans probably knew, no matter which show they watched, that a confrontation was eminent. Indeed, Hart confronted McMahon, the duo seemingly made up, and McMahon kicked Hart square in the grapefruits to end the show.
I haven’t seen the ratings. Given that they were the number 3 Trending Topic on Twitter for most of the night, TNA likely popped a higher rating than normal. Going head to head with WWE on a historic night for the company, however, probably didn’t allow them to maintain it. Time will tell if last night was good or bad for TNA, but for the first time in nearly nine years, it was just awesome to be a wrestling fan on Monday nights.
Before I take off, I’d like to take a moment to thank chjpacheco for his iMPACT coverage and Legend Killer for stepping in to cover RAW so that I could sit back and be a fan rather than a critic on this spectacular night.
This was the ppv show from Saturday afternoon at the George R. Brown Convention Center. Bell time was 2 pm, in order to avoid any conflict with the WWE Hall of Fame ceremony. THIS, Vince, is how a classy person in charge of a wrestling company behaves. Generally speaking, the Friday night show is the weaker of the two on an ROH weekend. This was absolutely not true this time. By no means was the Saturday show weak, not even a little bit. It just had quite a lot to live up to after the Friday night show set the bar so high. Saturday’s show did not disappoint.
Pre-show matches:
“The Mind of Wrestling” J.T. Lamotta and Darin Childs vs. “Mean” Mike Dell and Vexx (didn’t catch his first name): Lamotta reverses a fallaway suplex into a roll-up on Dell for the win.
Dirty Ernie Osiris vs. Grizzly Redwood: More chants of “Mini Necro” for Osiris. Osiris gets the pin on Grizzly after hitting him with Redwood’s own log behind the referee’s back.
Andy Ridge, Alex “Sugarfoot” Payne, & Bobby Dempsey vs. Don Juan, Andy Duncan, & Spiro: Between Dempsey and Sugarfoot, there was much chanting from the audience. More “Shannon Moore” heckling for Andy Duncan. Bobby Dempsey scores the win for his team by hitting the reviled Andy Duncan with a Death Valley Driver.
Main Show Matches:
Ace Steel vs. Colt Cabana: Steel entered first. When Cabana came out, the place went berserk. I still want Colt Cabana’s new entrance music, if anyone can help with that. Ace tries to shake hands, and the audience starts yelling, “Brothers don’t shake hands, brothers hug!” We got our way, and they hugged. Chants of “Check the top rope!” kick in (see the review of the Friday night show for an explanation), and they actually did! They went to all four corners and checked the top rope on all sides. Ace asked if that was all, did they need to check anything else. We said no. Ace took a camera from a ringside photographer and looked it over before giving it back and continuing with the match. Awesome! The match was really good, with Cabana goofing it up and Steel getting progressively more annoyed with him because of it, and finally exploding and hitting him. It got serious for a bit, and Colt got the win with a reverse Boston Crab. They made up afterwards. Sort of.
Rhett Titus vs. Bushwhacker Luke: Titus gave away TWO room keys during his entrance this time. It would be funny if they were to different rooms, and he had to go back and forth. I smell a Video Wire! Titus scores the win by grabbing the tights, and bails before Bushwhacker Luke can come after him.
Kevin Steen, El Generico, Jay Briscoe, & Magno vs. Davey Richards, Eddie Edwards, Chris Hero, & Incognito (8-man Tag Team Grudge Match): Eddie Edwards kind of looks like Alex Shelley. Part of it might be the hair. Outstanding match, with no technical difficulties this time. Tremendous action, with Jay Briscoe hitting an assisted spike Jay Driller (with help from Magno) on Chris Hero to score the win for his team. For a heel, Chris Hero is insanely over, with chants of “Chris is awesome!” throughout.
Jimmy Jacobs vs. Necro Butcher (No Disqualification War): I don’t care how cynical and smarky you are. If you have any legitimate concern in your soul for the well-being of another person, this was a scary match to watch. It told a great story, and was the epitome of what a No Disqualification War should be. It also scared the hell out of me. It’s all well and good to tell yourself that “it’s only a wrestling match” and that “it’s not real,” but when you’re there watching it unfold in front of you, you know better. In a way, this is a good thing, because that’s precisely the kind of reaction a match of this sort should get. The action went to the very top of the stadium-style general admission seating, with Necro teasing throwing Jacobs over the very top down to the floor behind it. Jacobs opened up Necro with a screwdriver. Necro nailed Jacobs with several stiff chair shots to the head. As much of a bloody mess as Necro was by the end, Jacobs was even worse. Necro gets the win with a Tiger Driver, and the ending sequence really has to be seen to be appreciated. I really like Jimmy Jacobs, and I hope he’s ok for real.
Intermission. A crew guy cleaned up all the blood with spray cans of Lysol.
Nigel McGuinness comes out in street clothes to address the audience. The man was clearly hurting. He spoke about his injuries, and how he had first thought to come out and apologize for losing the title and not being in the ring tonight, but after thinking about the past 17 months, he knew that he didn’t owe anybody anything. The cheers were deafening. Claudio Castagnoli came out, with his full entrance. He tells Nigel that it was supposed to be Europe versus America. Nigel promises that it will be Europe versus America, just not tonight, and that he knows that Claudio will do great in the match tonight. Claudio attacks Nigel when the former champ’s back is turned, and Nigel writhes in pain on the floor. Brent Albright rushes out to make the save and attacks Claudio. The scheduled tag team match between these guys and Blue Demon Jr. is now a three-way dance.
Claudio Castagnoli vs. Brent Albright vs. Blue Demon Jr. : Solid action, with Albright focusing on Claudio the whole time. Nigel interferes against Claudio at one point, but eventually makes his way to the back. Brent Albright scores the win with a half-Nelson suplex on Claudio.
Alex Koslov vs. Roderick Strong: Again, I repeat. Roderick Strong is the Messiah of the Backbreaker and God of the Chop. Ric Flair has been replaced in that respect. Some people who apparently like to ruin shows and show off what they read on the internet started a chant of “You’re not Russian!” at Koslov, but, thankfully, it did not catch on. Great action and very high impact stuff from both guys. Koslov tapped out to the Strong Hold, and Roddy got the win. Koslov was rewarded with loud chants of “Please come back!”
D-Lo Brown vs. Bryan Danielson vs. Erick Stevens vs. Jerry Lynn (Four Corner Survival Match for the ROH World Title): Danielson and Lynn were the favorites here. Chants of “Anyone but D-Lo!” were pretty funny. Good action from everyone, but good kicked up to great when Danielson and Lynn got in the ring. Lynn hit Stevens with a Cradle Piledriver to retain the ROH World Title.
Austin Aries and Katsuhiko Nakajima vs. Tyler Black and KENTA (Dream Partner Tag Team Match): Wow! All that can be said about this match is WOW!!! Aries was in full chickenshit heel mode, covering up Nakajima’s ears when the audience chanted “Nakajima!” He covered his own ears when anyone chanted “Austin Aries!” He also dodged getting in the ring with KENTA even more than getting in the ring with Tyler Black. KENTA is revered with god-like adoration, and rightly so. When KENTA and Nakajima got to kicking the living hell out of each other, I think I hurt something. Tyler Black scores the win for his team by pinning Austin Aries with God’s Last Gift.
Now that I’ve been completely spoiled on the greatest wrestling on the planet, I’m off to Wrestlemania to soak in some sports entertainment. I’ll have something up for that tomorrow early, and be sure to check back in with us here at boredwrestlingfan.com for other Wrestlemania-related musings today and tomorrow.
The 2008 Summer Olympics began earlier today and are going on as we speak – but nobody cares about that, it’s Friday night, it’s 8PM, it’s time for SmackDown! You guys know the drill by now, so here we go!
Tazz is filling in for Mick Foley
Natalya, Maryse, and Victoria def. Maria, Michelle McCool, and Cherry via submission.
Backstage, Bam Neely is found unconscious with a black rose on him.
Hawkins and Ryder def. Jimmy Wang Yang and Shannon Moore by pinfall.
MVP announces that he’ll be wrestling Jeff Hardy at SummerSlam.
Jeff Hardy def. Shelton Benjamin via disqualification.
The Great Khali left Triple H lying in the ring via the vice grip.
Curt Hawkins is found unconscious with a black rose on top of him. Apparently Ryder was found with one earlier too.
Vladimir Kozlov def. Jesse via pinfall.
The Brian Kendrick def. Super Crazy via pinfall.
Edge takes out Chavo with a Con-chair-to, and tells Vickie that he’s taking her to hell with him.