Whelp, this will be a little different than normal. I’m whipping through Smackdown since Calgary will be going through rolling power outages tonight (or so the police scanner says), to deal with the massive flooding in this city. And let’s be honest here, there is no way Smackdown is topping either Payback or RAW which were both solid shows. Fortunately I prepared a little something something ahead of time this week, and some gifs so it feels kind of normal. But in all seriousness, I kind of need to watch the news to see what the fuck is going on in my hometown and how it affects me. Sorry.
Here’s another edition of Impact Wrestling. Where tonight cowardly heels return, Garrett Bischoff shows his skills and Karen continues to screech her way onto my television screens. Lets take a look.
Back in Georgia.
Roode comes out cuts promo on crowd and on James Storm. Taking his opportunity and becoming world champion. James Storm is seen in the back trying to fight back security eventually making to the ring which causes Roode to take off. As Roode takes a heel-like run up the ramp the Stinger shows up. Steve Borden declares that there will be a world title rematch tonight. Roode looks worried.
Segment of Ronnie and Eric Young walking into the building with each carrying a belt.
side-note: Why was there a WWE commercial being played during Impact? Come on Spike get it together. And for their PPV no less.
Another segment with Dixie Carter walking with Bellator founder,
Bjorn Rebney
Back to Impact we have a Crimson/Matt Morgan promo. Looks to be decent until the match starts with Crimson versus Pope D’angelo Dinero. The crowd has little love for Crimson and a lot of love for the Pope, who has been booked into the ground these past months. (That’s what I love about a live crowd similar to Philly they are not behind Crimson but Pope is cheered) I sense a Cena-like response for him in his future.
Anyways Pope puts up some good offense hitting a devastating DDT and following it up with a fist drop and a 2nd rope fist drop. After whooping the Red one lil brother he takes to the rope again to meet the Red Sky (Down Low) Crimson for the win. The crowd did not look happy.
Gunner takes about Garrett showing respect and how he’ll learn it.
We’re back and Gunner comes out with Eric Bischoff & Ric Flair, my spider sense is detecting a DQ. Next Garrett comes down to the ring in Wife beater and Jeans no music. What begins slow with Gunner talking to Bischoff/Flair causes the crowd to jeer leading to the former security guard to take a couple of arm drags and eventually a front slam. Gunner who rolls out of the ring confused looks on as Flair runs in as Garrett flees and the match is declared a Disqualification. (I’m psychic)
I agree Spidey
So we have a backstage comedy segment with a doorman not letting Robbie and Rob Terry into see Ronnie from the Jersey Shore. Eric Young pops his head out asking if he wants a t-shirts. Eventually Ronnie comes out and a comedy spot ensues with Robbie jumping up on Big Rob in piggy back fashion. Elsewhere James Storm is found bloody in the back. He seems unresponsive.
Its time for X-division action as….. Oh my God! Little Elian Gonzalez isn’t dead.
Your guess is as good as mine
Oh wait that is Xima Ion who I almost forgot was in the division along with Nese. This could be good. Jesse Sorenson comes out for wrestle and I think maybe a tag match against Kash and Aries? No singles match so my mind goes to interference or Ion is showing how tough Sorenson is. The latter happens, better than interference. But the match is good albeit short. After missing is top rope finisher, Sorenson hit a cross roads maneuver for the win. Kash comes out sarcastically congratulating him and tells him to sign a contract for a match against Aries for the X division title. After he signs Kash clarifies that it will be a 3 way match. Kash bashes Sorenson’s mother before getting punched. Aries runs out for the double team.
Oh god not a Knockouts segment/match involving Karen and her Posse. As all the women in the back screech back and forth with the occasional loud pitched screech at Traci for causing the title to be on Velvets waist. I blame Traci too.
A knockout tag team title match with Mickie James/Velvet Sky. When I see Gail and Mickie in the same ring I think back to Botchamania.the ending is classic
Velvet takes on Rayne first and all that goes through my mind is “Bathroom Break Eminent!” Sirens blaring everywhere. After a cluster buck in which the crowd seems to care less. Which is sad because two years ago they would be some kind of response. it mercifully ends when Gail boots to the chin Velvet for the win. (special note even Earl Hebner wasn’t interested when he made the count from outside the ring)
Next its Jersey Shore vs Jersey Shore gimmick revisited.
When Robbie E and Rob Terry come out all that comes to mind is bad images of gay porn. You know who’s the power bottom. EY and Ronnie come out, with Eric doing his best Grizzly Redwood impression. Ronnie pins Robbie and Young ends up in a leopard print undies. And the gay porn images persist.
This is to make up for last week, because I'm anything but Biased
Back in the commissary, 3 punks eat until the Barrio 4 walk in stealing peoples lunches. Fight breaks out with factions??? leading into of course Turning Point. I like Pritchard’s use of minimalism when it comes to who is on the program when it pertains to PPV’s. Personally I would rather see a Sarita versus Toxxin match instead with the Knockout title on the line, but I dream too much like MLK.dream on
The founder of Bellator comes out on commentary and commences to talk up the product similar to an infomercial while Christopher Daniels and AJ Styles finish their feud before there respective new feuds come Sunday. Good solid match with Daniels going for a screwdriver. Rob comes out and steals it away, leading to AJ finishing Daniels with a Stylez Clash.Oh and “Thanks for the Bellator moment during it”
Six man Tag match with the Founder, a Bully and Steiner Brother taking on a reformed addict, an asshole and mystery????, after commercial break we have an answer. Its the monster Abyss. After a decent match Abyss hit Steiner with a black hole slam for the win.
Roode comes out for the main event. Commercial break. We’re back as James Storm’s music plays. No one shows. Theme song comes again. Slowly Storm comes out still covered in blood. He rushes the ring and puts the hurt to Roode before collapsing. After chants from the crowd to “Get up Cowboy” The Doctor comes out to get him to the back. Roode offers to assist. When he finds out that the match wasn’t ended he rolls up Storm for the three before Fortune hits the ring. Sting walks past Roode into the ring. AJ gets a microphone and challenges Roode at Turning Point. Sting makes it official.
Welcome to a late edition of Impact review. Pintnoir always comes to Impacts rescue today we come from Macon, Georgia.
Look Ma, I can use google to find Macon rhymes with bacon, Georgia
James Storm cuts a promo about how The South is full of respectful people
where everyone is treated with respect and understanding.
who treat everyone equally and use manners and how if any one disrespects the good ole USA they’re going to get their butts kicked. He calls out Roode. Together the tag partners schmooze about Beer Money giving each other compliments about how there career wouldn’t be where it was if it wasn’t for tagging together. They promise to steal the show.
Sad but true
So what do you get when you have a pair of lipstick lesbians, a bitter defector, a shrieking harpy, and a good digger?
Give up? its the knockout Tag Team match featuring T_N_T (Tara & Tessmacher) versus Gail Kim & Madison Rayne w/ Knockout Law Karen Jarrett followed by Chyna’s little sister Traci Brooks.
Who loves to watch Shite? I do!!!
Long story short after interference from Karen, and a sneak attack by Gail on Tara we have new Knockout Tag Team champions?!?! They were defended so well these past…weeks.
Garrett Bischoff cuts a promo. Is he planning on offering an apology to his egotistical father? We’ll find out.
Garrett comes out and gives a sincere apology with just a hint of snide sprinkled in just before he begins to beat the tar off his gray haired papa. While fun it comes to an end when Flair and Gunner run out for the save.
Later Bischoff finds Sting telling him that the stinger can rewrite his iron clad contract any way he likes if he can deliver Garrett in the ring for an opponent of Eric’s choosing. (They effectively explain that Bischoff and Hogan have contracts that allow them to stay on Impact no matter the outcome of the BFG match) Sting thinks it over.
Christopher Daniels is seen next talking about his greatness and how he didn’t use a screwdriver on RVD “it isn’t my fault if the ring crew forget their tools.” This is all right before RVD shows up behind him to beat on him. Daniels, after taking an extended beating runs away only for Rob to proclaim “see you at Turning Point.”
Austin Aries vs Jesse Sorenson (again) in a non title match, so who is going to win this one? (I dunno) with special condescending commentary from Kid Kash. I love Kash and hearing him rip into Sorenson for not respecting the vets while at the same time telling everyone he was the best X division champion in history. Sorenson reverses a brainbuster into a small package for the win. Afterwards Aries and Kash diss the rookie right before Kash asks Aries if he should get his knife. Classic.
Robbie E and Rob Terry get ready for their showdown with (sigh) Ronnie of the Jersey Shore and Eric Young (sigh) Television Champion. This is an asinine challenge considering EY has had the belt for god knows how long and is finally defending against an opponent who should not be there. Ronnie comes out and gets dissed right before he spears Robbie E leading to Terry beating on both Ronnie and EY. Afterwords EY challenges the two Robs to a tag match next week. (Later on tonight in Macon, Georgia time)
Immortal’s music hits and were treated to Bully Ray/Jeff Jarrett vs Jeff Hardy/Mr. Anderson in a tag match decent match that ends a disqualification when Steiner comes to the ring to interrupt a double Kenton/Swanton bomb attempt on the two heels. Later a beat down commences.
Garrett and Sting meet and talk about the challenge sent by his father after Sting rethinks it Garrett accepts and tells him to go along with his dad’s demands. Promo showing the Roode vs Storm match that so sets up a heel turn its not even funny.
Crimson gets called out by Matt Morgan who issues a challenge. Morgan goes on about how he’s the best 7 footer in the business. I guess he hasn’t heard of the Undertaker. Crimson accepts and we have a match… At Turning Point.
Roode vs Storm for the TNA World Title. After a lengthy bout and a ref bump which results in Roode telegraphing his heel turn by staring at James Storm’s beer bottle for 30 seconds hits him from the outside and rolls in for the pin and is proclaimed champion in front of a booing Georgia crowd. He ends the show with his foot on the former champion.
It’s Thursday, and that means it’s time for Impact Wrestling! But not just any episode, no. This one will feature footage and matches from the BaseBrawl event held in Buffalo on June 18th in which Bored Wrestling Fan founder ThinkSoJoE was present for. You can check out his breakdown here, and I’ll do my best to keep a look out for him as I delve into this episode. With the preamble out of the way, let’s hop to it, shall we?
Last week TNA shot their proverbial load all over my television screen like they’d been free-basing Charlie Sheen all night. What will they have in store for us this week? Did they actually have anything planned for the show other than the Jersey Shore’s Angelina having a match? Do they even remember they have a PPV on Sunday? Doubtful. But there’s only one terrible way to find out. (more…)
