Obviously with Jack Swagger getting a DUI for smoking marijuana and driving erratically on Wednesday, the impact of said offense will not be reflected on tonight’s Smackdown. It will, however, leave one to speculate on whether this is the last time we see Jack Swagger and Zeb… potentially ever. So let’s all put on our favorite racist singlets and plop down to watch a possible Swan Song of Swaggler.
Admit it. This would be fun.
Hokay. This is WAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY late. What I’m going to do here is recap a replay of last night’s RAW. This is for two reasons, I need more practice in real-time recapping, and I owe BWF my RAW recap.
So here we go!
We open with a recap of Elimination Chamber from Sunday. Alberto Del Rio beat the Big Show, Jack Swagger won the Chamber, and C.M. Punk lost. We get a reminder that Cena’s road to Wrestlemania starts tonight.
Live in the Cajun Dome! Cena’s out to address the WWE universe, and we’re reminded that it’s Cena vs. Rock for the WWE title. John reminds everyone that it’ll be John Cena vs. The Rock, and that’s when Punk comes out.
Punk accuses Cena of taking the easy way out. Punk says Rock beat him fair and square on Sunday, if you disregard the fact that Rock hit an official, and Punk had him pinned for “an 18 count.” Cena tells him to “sit this one out,” and “for once, it’s not about C.M. Punk.” Punk disagrees, reminding Cena how he brought prestige to the WWE title, and how Cena can’t beat the Rock, and how he’s never beat Punk. Punk tells him to walk away. Cena makes it clear he will not. Cena concedes that he hasn’t beat the Rock, and if he can’t beat Punk, then he doesn’t deserve the title shot. Cena agrees to give Punk the shot at Wrestlemania if Punk can beat him in a match, right here, right now. Punk decides to do this on his terms, and since he shouldn’t even be in this position, he decides to do this next week. Cena makes it official. Punk vs. Cena, Wrestlemania headline title shot on the line, next Monday.
We get an announcement that tonight will be the Rock’s championship celebration, and The World’s Strongest Man, Mark Henry, is up next.0
We’re back. We get a picture of Thomas Jefferson and one of his quotes as part of a “president’s day” tribute.
“ONE MAN WITH COURAGE IS A MAJORITY.” – Thomas Jefferson
Backstage with Sheamus and Matt Striker. Sheamus doesn’t know what went wrong last night, they were supposed to get revenge on the Shield, but didn’t. Ryback walks into frame and Sheamus call him a neanderthall. Ryback and Sheamus get up into each others’ face, when Chris Jericho steps in. He gets them to stop fighting and offers them a chance to team up with him in a six-man against the Shield. Sheamus and Ryback agree.
“FEED ME SHIELD” – Ryback
SIN CARA VS MARK HENRY
This was an out-and-out squash. Sin Cara got in one kick to the head, but it ends with a powerslam and a “world’s strongest slam.”
WINNER: MARK HENRY
Henry bullies the ref out of the ring and turns his attention to the fallen Sin Cara. Great Khali strides out (slowly) and after a stare-down, teasing a fight, Henry bails.
“IF I WANNA DANCE, I GIVE EM’ THAT. YOU DANCE, THAT’S ALL YOU GOOD FOR ANYWAY.” – Mark Henry
We go to a recap of the U.S. title match at Elimination Chamber, between the Miz and Champion Antonio Cesaro. We see Miz drop knee first into Cesaro’s groin, and get dq’d.
Vicki Guerro announces the six-man main event for tonight – Jericho, Sheamus, and Ryback vs The Shield via Twitter.
When we come back, Miz vs. Cesaro, NO DQ!
We’re back with a promo for FANDANGO, comming soon.
Miz is in the ring w’a taped-up shoulder and arm. We get a recap of last Monday’s RAW when Cesaro swung him into the guardrail.
NO DQ MATCH-U.S. CHAMPION ANTONIO CESARO VS THE MIZ
Miz starts strong, but the match goes out to the floor and Cesaro sends the bad arm into the post. Cesaro throws Miz back in the ring with some chairs and a kendo stick. Cesaro wedges a chair between two turnbuckles in the corner, and tries to drive the Miz shoulder-first into it. Miz counters a few times and Cesaro has more luck with the Kendo stick. Cesar pins the bad shoulder of Miz between his knee and a chair, and works the arm. Cesaro sets Miz up in the corner for a charge, but Miz gets a shot to the face. Cesaro charges knee first and Miz ducks. Cesaro hits the chair in the corner. Miz drop-toe-holds him chest first into the other chair, and ends this with a figure four for the submission.
WINNER: THE MIZ
Later tonight, Jack Swagger and Zeb Coulter will make a “State of the Union” address to the WWE universe. Right now, we’re getting a look at an Internet video made by Zeb and Swagger. (youtube.com/wethepeoplezeb) It looks like a public access channel video with a “Don’t Tread On Me” flag tacked up in the back. Zeb delivers a rant against immigrants with Swagger looming menacingly in the background.
We’re reminded that Cena vs. Punk is next week and the Rock’s championship celebration is tonight.
We come back to a pic and a quote of Abraham Lincoln.
“YOU CAN FOOL SOME OF THE PEOPLE ALL OF THE TIME, YOU CAN FOOL ALL OF THE PEOPLE SOME OF THE TIME, YOU CAN’T FOOL ALL OF THE PEOPLE ALL OF THE TIME.” – Abraham Lincoln.
Backstage, WWE tag team champions Daniel Bryan and Kane are arguing over what happened between them in the Elimination chamber last Sunday. Brian has requested a singles match and doesn’t want Kane coming out with him. Kane decides he’ll request a singles match and doesn’t want Bryan coming out with him. Kane warns Bryan that he’d better be a man of his word, because he doesn’t like snakes. Randy Orton overhears this, and takes exception to it. Kane explains that if a snake gets too close to him, he squashes it with his boot. Orton compares Kane to Barney the Dinosaur and Bryan laughs. Orton disappears, and Kane sulks off.
We go to Vicki’s office where Paul Heyman has been summoned. Vicki rags on Heyman about how useless his special stipulations were in the WWE title match. Later on, she will make a big announcement concerning his career, in the ring.
Team Ziggler (Dolp, Big E. and AJ) makes their way out as we go to break.
WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION ALBERTO DEL RIO VS DOLPH ZIGGLER
Ziggler’s in the ring as we recap Del Rio’s win over the Big Show at EC. Ricardo Rodriguez comes out to introduce Del Rio. The crowd is not into it. Ziggler goes right after Del Rio. Del Rio fights back. Ziggler goes up and over the ropes, lands on the apron. Del Rio hits the enziguri as we go to break…
Ziggler in control as we come back, choking Del Rio against the ropes. Ziggler with a dropkick. Choking again, and Big E. sneaks in a cheap shot at ringside. Ziggler gets a two-count with a fame-asser and goes up top. ADR cuts him off and hits a REVERSE FACE-LOCK SUPERPLEX. Ziggler up first. They trade punches, ADR hits two clothes-line, a tilt-a-whirl back-breaker, and a thrust kick for two. ADR gets a “Si” chant going but Ziggler hits the neck-breaker for two. Ziggler whips ADR into the corner, ADR gets the boots up, ties up Ziggler, and hits several forearms to the back and a back-stabber for two. Big E up on the apron. Del Rio knocks him off. Ziggler goes for the flying DDT, but Del Rio hits the arm-breaker for the submission.
WINNER: ALBERTO DEL RIO
After the match, Big E. blindsides ADR and beas him down. Ziggler realizes this is the best time to cash in the MiTB briefcase, but Ricardo swipes it and runs off with Big E. after him. AJ recovers the case, but Ziggler eats a huge kick from ADR.
Later tonight, the Rock’s celebration, and Kane vs.Randy Orton
And we got to break…
We are back with Intercontinental champion Wade Barrett in the ring, telling all of us about his big break in a major motion picture. We then get shown the trailer for “Dead Man Down,” in theaters on March 8th. We come back to Wade but Sheamus interrupts from the Titan-Tron to point out that Wade isn’t the star, Colin Farrell is. He invites Barrett to respond, but is told we’re out of time.
SIX PERSON TAG TEAM MATCH – TENSAI/BRODUS CLAY/AND NAOMI VS PRIMO/EPICO/AND ROSA
The Funkadayctals make their entrance w/Brodus and Tensai. Rosa and team MO-CO cut the music short with their entrance. Naomi starts off with Rosa, taking charge with high-flying moves. Rosa tags in Primo who goes after Naomi but Tensai makes the save and send Primo out. Naomi hits a sliding dropkick between Tensai’s legs on Epico and Rosa. Tensai and Brodus ends this with double headbuts and a double splash.
WINNERS: BRODUS CLAY AND TENSAI
We get a dance party in the ring before going to a WWE.com press conference in the Super-dome, where we get an announcement about Wrestlemania 30 being there next year, April 2014.
Up next is the “State Of The Union” address from Jack Swagger and Zeb Coulter.
We come back with a quote from Harry S. Truman
“THE BUCK STOPS HERE.” – Harry S. Truman
Jack Swagger and Zeb Coulter are in the ring with a podium and a “don’t tread on me” flag set up. Swagger claims that he took the weight of the nation on his shoulders when he won the EC match and became #1 contender to the WHC. He turns the mike over to Zeb, who claims the state of our union is “pathetic.” In summation, he basically accuses foreigners of coming here to take our health care, jobs, and resources, and how when Jack Swagger beats ADR, he will restore our nation to greatness.
Daniel Bryan makes his entrance as we go to break.
JACK SWAGGER VS. DANIEL BRYAN
Match is basically Bryan slipping out of Swagger’s grasp with his speed/agility until Swagger gets a chance to pound on the bad ribs of Bryan. Bryan fights back with quick strikes and high-risk high-flying. Bryan misses a charging drop-kick and Swagger works his leg. Swagger ends this with the “Patriot Act,” submission.
WINNER: JACK SWAGGER
Later tonight, Jericho, Sheamus, and Ryback vs. The Shield, and Vicki’s big announcement about Heyman.
We come back to a Wrestlemania promo and Vicki in the ring demanding our attention, preparing to make an announcement that could change Heyman’s career/life. She announces Brad Maddox as “assistant to the managing supevisor.” Brad says this was his reward for blowing the whistle on Heyman.
“IS THIS MY CUE TO VOMIT?” – Paul Heyman
Heyman says goodnight and gets ready to leave, when Vince makes his appearance on the Tron, stopping him. He reminds Heyman of last week when Heyman requested the DQ/count-out stip for the WWE title match at EC, and how Heyman said he do “anything” for it. Basically Vince challenges Heyman to a fight in two weeks when he makes his return.
And Break…
CHRIS JERICHO, SHEAMUS & RYBACK VS. THE SHIELD
Jericho, Sheamus, & Ryback each make a separate entrance, the Shield come down all at once through the crowd. The faces start off strong, with each man getting a shot at a Shield member. The faces dominate as we go to break…
We come back to the Shield beating down Sheamus. Sheamus fights his way free and brings in Ryback. Ryback hits hard and fast, tossing around the Shield, but he takes a spear when the ref isn’t looking. The Shield pile on Ryback with double teaming until one of them misses a charge. Ryback brings in Jericho, who takes over on the Shield. Jericho locks in the “Walls Of Jericho” while Sheamus takes a Shield member to the outside, brawling. Ryback is down, and the Shield leader takes out Jericho with a flying knee behind the ref’s back. Jericho gets pinned for three.
WINNERS: THE SHIELD
And break…
We come back with a quote from JFK.
“ASK NOT WHAT YOUR COUNTRY CAN DO FOR YOU, ASK WHAT YOU CAN DO FOR YOUR COUNTRY.” – John F. Kennedy
DAMIEN SANDOW VS KOFI KINGSTON
Sandow comes out, berating the audience and claims his great-grandfather came up with the new deal. He attacks Kofi before the bell rings and brutalizes him, until R-Truth makes his comeback and the save. Sandow is left lying.
NO CONTEST
We go to Josh Mathews at ringside w/two of his co-stars from “G.I. JOE: RETALIATION,” and a clip from the movie.
The Rock’s celebration, up next…
We’re back with another promo for Fandango, and Randy Orton making his entrance.
RANDY ORTON VS KANE
We get a plug for the EXTREME RULES PPV as Kane makes his way to the ring. Match is back and forth until Daniel Bryan comes out to distract Kane. Kane loses focus and walks into an RKO for the three-count.
WINNER: RANDY ORTON
And break…
We come back to a local marching band making their way down to the ring. After they finish playing, the Rock makes his big entrance. First, he runs down Punk, pointing out how he beat Punk in two straight PPV’s so he could be here tonight as WWE champion. Rock says in 48 days he’s going to Wrestlemania, but not with the “spinny” belt.
“THE WWE TITLE SHOULD NEVER LOOK LIKE A TOY, AND IT SHOULD NEVER, EVER, SPIN” – The Rock
The Rock retires the WWE “spinner” belt, and talks about how the belt should “inspire” the people watching and respect the legacy of champions past. He then unveils the “New” WWE championship. It looks like a big ring, with the WWE logo taking up most of the face-plate over the word “champion,” and the Rock’s Brahma-Bull logo on each side. Rock asks the question “Who will the Rock face at Wrestlemania? John Cena, or C.M. Punk?” Rock is about to name his preference, when Cena’s music hits and he comes out. He’s facing down the Rock when Punk nails him from behind with the spinny belt. He tosses it aside, and says “I want that one,” while pointing at Rock. The show ends with Punk staring down the Rock and walking out, while the Rock paces around the ring in confuion and Cena tries to pull himself up.
MATCH RESULTS
RYBACK DEF. JACK SWAGGER – Swagger looks strong for about 30 seconds, but winds up just more meat on the plate. The turning point is Swagger landing ugly, face first.
LAYLA (DIVAS CHAMPION) DEF. NATTIE NIEDHART – Before the match gets going, Vicki comes out to demand this match wrap up quickly so she can make an announcement. She actually spends the whole match on the ring apron, looking bored and rolling her eyes, great way to sell a match. One high spot is Nattie and Layla doing the old Hardy spot where the face (Layla) tries a baseball slide kick, and the heel (Nattie) traps her in the ring apron. Layla ends this with a simple kick to the head. Vick dismisses Layla in a condescending manner and Layla just goes.
Vicki demands that the board of directors take action against the “mentally unstable” child and put Raw in the hands of an adult, like her. AJ Lee responds by skipping out to the ring, and cracking Vicki in the face. (And the Reason Layla couldn’t do that?) Vicki high-tails it out of there while AJ Lee smiles.
JOHN CENA DEF. THE MIZ (I-C CHAMPION) – Josh Mathews joins us at ringside. The match is slow, dull, and by the numbers. Miz focuses on striking John in the head/face with strikes and kicks, Cena makes his superman comebacks. The match ends when Cena hits four out of five moves of doom and gets the three.
SANTINO DEF. HEATH SLATER – Heath Slater gets the upper hand with a cheap shot after an “air guitar” duel, and then goes all out with punching, stomping, knees, and choking. Slater goes up on the ropes, Santino rolls away. Slater goes to the other corner, Santino rolls out again. Slater gets caught in a cradle for a two-count, and Santino takes over. Santino sets the Cobra, but the sax music hits and Aksana is out to distract the cobra. Not Santino, just the cobra. The cobra breaks his trance long enough to strike Slater and Santino gets a three-count, while the cobra stares at Aksana. Yes I did just write that.
BRODUS CLAY/SIN CARA DEF. DAMIAN SANDOW/CODY RHODES – Sin Cara comes out to NO reaction. Cody takes control by pulling Sin Cara down hard off the ropes. The heels take turns stomping on Sin Cara until he hits the head scissors and makes the tag to Brodus, who squashes Cody until Sandow makes the save. Sandow goes after Cara but goes over and out. Cara hits a flying body-press while Cody goes sternum first into Clay’s cranium. Clay hits the splash and gets a three-count. Match ends in a dance party with the kids at ringside.
R-TRUTH DEF. DANIEL BRYAN BY COUNT-OUT – The crowd starts in with the “goat-face” chants and Bryan responds with deep breathing. Highlight of the match is Bryan giving “little jimmy” a fist bump. Match ends when Truth tricks Bryan into a round of “dueling crazy” outside the ring. Truth gets the crowd going with the “yes” chant and Bryan gets counted out while going “no” up in some fans’ face.
SHEAMUS/RANDY ORTON DEF. DOLPH ZIGGLER/ALBERTO DEL RIO – Faces start out strong, but it’s soon Del Rio and Ziggler pounding on Orton. Orton finally tags Sheamus who goes all out on Ziggler. While the ref is distracted, Roberto Rodriguez – Del Rio’s personal announcer – tosses Ziggler his MiTB briefcase. Orton catches him with the chin-lock backbreaker and Sheamus hits the Brogue Kick for the win.
ZACK RYDER DEF. DAVID OTUNGA – The highlight here is Kane coming out to ringside and Josh Mathews running for his life. Cole gives Kane plenty of room as Kane takes a seat at the table. Otunga actually dominates this match with clubbing forearms and neck-locks, but it ends when Ryder ducks a clothesline and hits the Rough-Ryder for the three-count. Kane rushes the ring and grabs Ryder by the neck, then lets him go. He decides to choke-slam Otunga instead.
C.M. PUNK DEF. JERRY LAWLER (CAGE MATCH: AS CHOSEN BY WWE UNIVERSE VIA TWITTER POLL) – The brilliance of this match is Punk revisiting Lawler’s feud with Andy Kaufman and playing BOTH roles. As Punk enters the cage, Cole reads his Twitter feed, which has Punk quoting Kaufman’s legendary “New King of Memphis,” promo almost verbatim. Then, in a nod to the king, Punk allows Lawler the first shot. Lawler plays nervous, but eventually lets it go on Punk’s kisser. Punk sells it BIG, even cowering in the corner. However Punk takes control with kicks to Lawler’s shins, backing him into the corner, then he scores a neck-breaker. From then on, the match is mostly Punk bullying Lawler; stomping on him and literally kicking him while he’s down. Punk goes up on the ropes, but Lawler knocks his feet out from under him, and Punk takes a crotch-shot to the turn-buckle. Punk stops Lawler from escaping but Lawler sends Punk face-first into the cage. Lawler takes over with the big right hands and hits his fist-drop for a two count. Punk is bleeding, but stops Lawler from escaping the cage. Punk finishes this with a ROCK-BOTTOM into the Anaconda vice. Lawler taps out.
After the match, Punk grabs a lock and chain from under the ring and locks himself in w/Lawler and a mike, demanding Lawler call him the best in the world. Lawler refuses, and Punk pummels him with elbow shots. Cena tries to make the save, but can’t get in the cage. He yells for someone to get the cage up. When they finally do, Cena dives for Punk, who heads for higher ground, while Cena checks on Jerry.
RAW ends with Punk walking out with his belt, and Cena hunched over a battered Lawler.
HIGHLIGHTS
The build-up for the main event started with Lawler calling out Punk and demanding an apology for last week. Punk responds by throwing Lawler’s whole career under a bus. From beating up no-names in Memphis, to a slap fight with a comedian, (Kaufman) to losing at Wrestlemania. Punk challenges Lawler to a fight later tonight. Lawler will think about it. A few segments later, Lawler agrees, saying he’s not the best in the world… and neither is Punk.
We had a series of skits with Bryan in Anger Management classes, building up to his match with R-Truth, that managed to be funnier than you would expect. In the first one, Bryan calmly states his objections to being in these classes, when a small boy in a goat mask walks in. Bryan goes off on the kid, reducing him to tears. The “doctor” running the class explains this was his son, in costume for a school play. The doc tells his son that Bryan is “a very sick man.” Some guy named “Harold” tries to console Bryan.
“Don’t touch me, Harold.” – Daniel Bryan
In the second, Bryan responds to Harold whining about his boss with a brief recap of his program with AJ and Kane – who just happens to be the late patient. (Saw THAT coming)
The last segment has Kane going over (almost) his entire back-story, briefly mentioning Katie Vick even. The shrink sends everyone home assigning them to work on an “anger collage.” Bryan chases him out, berating him the whole time. Harold thanks Kane for sharing, Kane responds by throttling him and snarling “You’re welcome.” Kane made this segment work better than it should have.
We took a look back at Triple H’s career, leading up to his big promo where he would let us know if he was going to retire or not. He managed to kill over ten minutes without confirming anything, but he was gracious to the fans…
“Thank you, for letting me, play the game.” – Triple H.
RYTMANS RANT
Is there a reason every other person is working a crazy gimmick? We got R-Truth with “little Jimmy,” Daniel Bryan with anger management issues, Kane…duh, and AJ going nuts anytime someone suggest she’s… going nuts. I’m sorry but this comes off as lazy. You can’t come up with anything else? Is Josh going to go nuts because he doesn’t want wrestlers to attack him? Is Cole going to explain the last year or so of douchey behavior was temporary insanity?
It seems “crazy” is the default whenever WWE can’t figure out what to do with someone. AJ was supposed to be a “manic pixie dream girl next door.” Apparently that didn’t fly, so she’s crazy. R-Truth was angry about WWE putting no faith in him and tried to imply that they didn’t want a black champion. That hit too close to home, so he went “crazy.” Daniel Bryan wants respect for what he can do in the ring? He must be crazy. Kane…
Well that worked out, still…
You know, mental illness is a serious, real problem. Some of the fans out there might have someone in their family who suffers from this. You could potentially alienate a huge percentage of the fan base, or maybe just make a whole lot of casual fans uncomfortable with your product.
It’s our first Smackdown back after WrestleMania 28! We wrapped our Celebration of Professional Wrestling 2012. Be sure to click that link to check out any of the fantastic podcasts and articles we saw during our marathon.
But things changed in some massive ways on RAW to kick off the unofficial start of the new “season” of the WWE. John Laurinitaus took over the reigns of Smackdown from Theodore Long, for example. Jack “The San Jose Shark” Swagger debuted his new look and showed distention with Dolph Ziggler. John Cena questioned his inner being. Brodus finally got elevated. The Rock made allusions to being World Champion one more time. Some oddly familiar, non-Asian looking guy debuted. Oh yeah… and….
Let’s hop to it, shall we?
The night after Wrestlemania. The debut of Mankind, Brock Lesnar. The season premiere that will begin the story that will climax at Wrestlemania 29. It begins tonight.
Johnny Ace begins begins with a new era. He sets up a match for Santino vs. Ziggler vs. Swagger. Punk smarts off to him and heckles Ace. Ace puts him in a match against Mark Henry. The new theme in his era is Power People.
Rock came out. The crowd was electric chanting “Boots to Asses” & “You still have it.” Rock came out and did his thing. It was everything it needed to be.
The first match was Ziggler vs. Swagger vs. Santino. This match was just kind of there for me. But Santino beat both. As Swagger and Ziggler beat on Santino after the match, Santino ran up the ramp and was saved by Brodus Clay. Ziggler charged Brodus Clay and took a crazy bump on the ramp. Ziggler is the most underrated wrestler in the business.
We had the debut of Lord Tensai. The crowd chanted A-Train at the top of their lungs. I was hoping they would chant “Hip Hop Hippo.” Alex Riley began his Future Endeavored Tour. I liked the debut of the Tensai character. And of course, Larry Stanley died when he saw “The Claw.” It reminded me of a early 90’s monster. Let’s see where they go with him.
So Punk-Henry was not the same match he had with Daniel Bryan. It was as good a match as Mark Henry is capable of having. This was such a good match. Both guys really brought it. It ended in a countout. I love the booking as this sets up Mark Henry as credible again. Jericho comes out of the crowd and says that after that beating, he and Punk need a drink. What happened to them has to be seen to be believed.
Sheamus came out to celebrate and then Alberto del Rio’s music hit. Ricardo Rodriguez started up and the crowd went nuts. For Daniel Bryan. Sheamus and Alberto del Rio delivered their lines and went through their motions all the while ignoring that the crowd was cheering someone else. Rock, Austin, Foley, Flair, Piper, those men would have never let a crowd get away with that.
We came back to get Cody vs. Kofi. Big Show came out to show Cody losing. I thought the story they told was very entertaining. Kofi got a nice win.
Abraham Washington gave Mark Henry his card. I’m not sure it was him or Teddy Long in a timewarp.
Eve cut a promo that was not horrible.
The main event was Miz vs. Ryder.
John Cena came out cut a promo on The Rock. The crowd was chanting for Lesnar at the top of their lungs. And then they got him. F5 on John Cena.
I have been watching Raw for the past year pretty much consecutively. This has been the best Raw in ages. 90% of that was the crowd. But the work was great. Lesnar coming back was perhaps one of the most electric things I’ve ever seen.
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There are fewer bigger nights than this. Wrestlemania is the event that all events are measured by. This is the WWE’s second-to-last chance to get us to want to buy Wrestlemania.
We begin with a tag match, Orton/Sheamus vs. Bryan/Kane. This match (shoot, this whole Raw) had one purpose-to get us to buy Wrestlemania. I like that they kept opponents separate. Heel Daniel Bryan was pretty impressive for me. I also like his commitment. There is no hesitation from him. The crowd seemed to be really hot and into a lot of the match. Commentary was also very strong. AJ got involved in the match and Bryan/Kane won. What a great first match.
They did a really fun segment/match with Johnny Ace coming out first. Then he introduced his flag-bearer Vickie Guerrero and his team captain David Otunga. Booker T introduced Teddy Long’s flag-bearer Hornswoggle and team captain Santino Marella. As with all good David Otunga matches, it was short. As the match ended Miz did the beatdown and was announced as a member of Team Johnny.
Eve killed Kelly Kelly. In other news, Beth Phoenix looked really hot in that dress. I was wrong. Kelly Kelly is now Super Cena with breasts.
Christian walks out solidifying that he and Jack Swagger have a bad haircut contest. Then out comes Punk to reveal Jericho on the screen. He revealed that Punk was illegitimate. Then Christian attacked him which sent my wife into a tirade about his hair. My wife even liked the match enough to tell me. What a beatdown. Punk has snapped!
Ah, yes. Nothing says focused for Wrestlemania quite like Brodus Clay. Curt Hawkins is on his way to your local Lions Club to put over Johnny Attitude. In his defense, Hawkins sold well.
Big Show killed Primo. Remember when tag team champs weren’t jobbers? Cody Rhodes cut a really good promo.
The Bellas demolish dialogue. So Zack Ryder’s gimmick is that he says stupid things to women. At least they had a focus for Wrestlemania.
Great Khali fought Mark Henry in a match no one wanted to see. It was short and very painless. They had a face off and Booker T came to Teddy’s rescue. So Booker gets his Wrestlemania payday.
Rock and Cena had their final stand-off. Rock sounded like he needed to work on his material in front of a live crowd. His monologue was awful. Then he was met by Cena. Rock has always put over talent. Shoot, he lost to Hurricane once. Now he has put Cena over verbally.
It ended up being a really good Raw. They were focused and everything (except for Clay) seemed to be building towards a Wrestlemania. I’m ready for Wrestlemania. Bring it on.
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Well, I’d like to write some introduction but for some reason I got home late and it just didn’t quite happen. So I will get right in to Raw.
CM Punk opened it up talking about his dad being an alcoholic and how his dad had worked really hard to overcome and recover. Chris Jericho appeared on the screen and apologized for bringing up Punk’s father. Now his sister on the other hand… Punk fed off him and they had a really strong build-up.
Big Show and Kane had a match or something. It was a back drop for Cody Rhodes to build up his and Big Show’s match. As the ambush happened, Cody handcuffed Big Show and went after him. Really strong build-up.
They continued the build-up of Teddy Long-Johnny Ace by David Otunga facing Santino Marella. They started with a posedown. I gotta admit I popped for the Santino posedown.
Rock talked a long time.
Daniel Bryan squashed Zack Ryder.
John Cena took quite the beating at the hands of Mark Henry. But he won and The Rock did his move on Henry.
Miz cuts a great promo. He puts out an open challenge and gets Sheamus. I really like how they are pointing out the way they’re not putting over Miz’ lack of Wrestlemania match.
I still think that Randy Orton and Kane seem last-minute, but I like that they’re giving it meaning.
We go from anti-bullying to Vickie Guerrero getting booed out of the building for having an annoying voice.
We get Swagger and Ziggler vs. Truth & Kofi. It was pretty good build-up. Though I believe all 4 of those should have singles runs, I’m happy they have spots and places. Though I hate Swagger’s character, the guy is a natural athlete and would kill in a world like Ring of Honor or Japan.
Then we had the 3-way confrontation. Shawn Michaels was the first. Then out came the Undertaker. Then out came HHH. They had a nice exchange, but it just wasn’t quite there.
Tonight’s Raw was pretty decent. You had a lot of really good buildup and it made me want to see Wrestlemania a bit more.
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Raw may not be tired and cranky, but I sure am. Time changes, days at work and being accused (wrongly) of stealing by one of my heroes.
A lot of the AIW people I follow on Twitter are saying that Cleveland is a packed house.
John Cena opens up in a Mark Price jersey channeling old John Cena that we fell in love with.
Vickie took the mic and cut a great promo. But then again, I’ve never heard a bad Vickie Guerrero promo. Sheamus took on Dolph Ziggler. I’ve used the Mr. Perfect comparison before for Ziggler and I stand by it. It was a long good match.
I am going to rip the WWE in a future blog several new ones for the abusive storyline. It has no place in wrestling.
Johnny Ace is doing commentary. It was going to be Santino vs. David Otunga. Then it became Mark Henry. Now we have a squash of the US Champ.
WWE got publicity. And Eve has large fake breasts. And Zack Ryder is more stupid than anyone I’ve ever met. Beth Phoenix wants to attack Maria M. on Extra. I’m too lazy to google her name to get it right. Miz is on Psych. James Roday is on Raw. Is Psych that much in the toilet?
We get the return of Brodus Clay. This is the greatest Jinder Mahal match I’ve ever seen. Even WCW’s The Gambler got in more offense.
HBK comes out to talk to Undertaker. Undertaker takes longer to walk to the ring than Jinder Mahal’s match. They had a really nice exchange, but neither really said anything.
James Roday made an ass out of himself, but he looked like he was living a life-long dream. Punk and Miz fought a pretty decent match. Then Chris Jericho took the mic and proved why he’s Chris Mother-effin’ Jericho.
Do you remember that Seinfeld episode when Jerry couldn’t quit going to his current barber and had a little boy’s hair cut? That’s what Jack Swagger looks like. However, he and Orton had a pretty good match.
Then Rock sang. He looks like he enjoys himself out there. And you had to love the Vanilla Ice + Teletubbies reference. Honestly this was one of the most entertaining things I’ve ever seen on wrestling tv in a long time.
All in all, a good Raw. I would say most things should be watched.
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As the road to WrestleMania continues, tonight John Laurinaitis is taking over control of Smackdown. And with that, we can only expect madness, chaos, and certainly not Drew McIntyre… because he was fired. Or was he? Only time will tell, so let’s hop to it… shall we?
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Yes, we have finally made it to the 21st century with an HD DirecTV receiver. I have no doubt my world will be forever changed, at least wrestling wise.
We open up the night with Shawn Michaels. I’m torn on this one. I don’t mind Shawn on my tv, but on the other hand, can we let the guy retire? The crowd responded well to him and made him seem important. He asks for Triple H to come to the ring. Shawn went for way too long. What Triple H has perfected very well over the past few years is the art of the focused glare. He does that glare better than most guys cut promos. Then HBK let everybody know he was going to be the guest referee. Here’s to a 5-minute entrance at Wrestlemania.
Santino was supposed to fight Jack Swagger. Swagger looked like a 9-year-old who needs a haircut. This wasn’t a match so much as a backdrop for the Teddy Long-Johnny Ace feud. However, Santino pinned Jack Swagger and won the belt. Best I can figure out, Swagger has failed a wellness test. Then Teddy Long had security escort Johnny Ace and his crew out. I believe this is like Vic Mackey suspending Det. McNulty on The Wire. (If you got that reference, you are my favorite person.)
Rock talked a lot. My wife was happy. Kelly Kelly was nominated for Best Butt-Kicker. And? Eve beat Alicia Fox.
Eve then tried to kiss Zack Ryder. They are booking Zack Ryder to look stupider than 1990 Sting.
John Cena did a very solid promo, but it just went too long and sounded way too scripted.
CM Punk & Sheamus took on Jericho & Bryan. The match was really good. I don’t like the fact the main events laid hands on each other before Wrestlemania. But let’s be honest. Punk and Jericho aren’t going to have the same exact match at Wrestlemania. I liked the finish and the match had nice build-up.
Rock rambled about Paul Revere.
Miz was supposed to fight Big Show. I really like how Big Show has evolved as a worker since his days of The Giant in WCW. Cody Rhodes showed footage of WM 18. #$^%@$#$@ That was the last WWE PPV I ever bought.
Rock rambled more.
R-Truth came out while talking to Little Jimmy. Kane came out and killed him. I guess Randy Orton is going to fight Kane at Wrestlemania.
John Cena came out and cut another scripted promo. And then Rock came out. The two had a very nice interaction.
So this ended up being a decent Raw. I liked the Punk-Sheamus/Bryan-Jericho segment match and the Cena-Rock stuff was good. If you watched it, you don’t feel your time was wasted. If you don’t, you probably didn’t miss anything.