Tag Archive: Tag Belts

  1. Raw Is Perez Hilton? 1-16-12

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    For some reason Perez Hilton is polluting my Monday Night Raw. I personally think he has no place on our planet or in our species. Last week Kane laid out Zack Ryder because he couldn’t change a flat tire. Maybe Hilton can show Ryder how to change a flat tire. Things could be a lot worse though. We had the Funkasaurus debut last Monday and I’m curious to see where that goes. I’m also curious to see what Jericho does tonight. If you are looking for some great tires check out these Tire Shops for great deals.

    We start off with Mick Foley. The great part about Mick Foley is that he can laugh at himself. Foley will be in the Royal Rumble. I will only be happy if he takes Jinder Mahal’s spot. Then he is interrupted by Vickie Guerrero and Dolph Ziggler berating him for taking a wrestler’s spot. And then CM Punk comes out they have a nice face off. And then Johnny Ace comes out. He says he will be impartial. True story. My wife was passed out on the couch. When Johnny Ace came out, she groaned in her sleep.

    We get footage of the tag belts changing hands. We had a nice match between the Colons &  (6 if you count Rosa Mendes. Some of you may have to think about this a little).

    Chris Jericho will be in the main event. He turns out the light and lets his jacket sparkle.

    Then we do a recap of Zack Ryder being unable to change a flat tire. Eve will accompany him to ringside. Ryder must have a member the size of Long Island cause I can’t think of any reason for Eve to still be with him after the “unable to change a flat tire” thing. Swagger destroyed Ryder and won the title.

    In the back, Johnny Ace apologizes to Zack Ryder because he wasn’t medically cleared. Then Eve gets in his face and Ace tells her to respect authority. Huh?

    R-Truth comes out and Wade Barrett interrupts him. Then after Barrett is done with his monologue, R-Truth begins his comments with ” ‘Allo, Govnuh.” Then there was a silly look at R-Truth’s trip to Disney. I hate to admit it, but I liked it. Then Miz came out followed by Sheamus. Teddy made a 4-man Over the Top Battle Royal match. R-Truth won. Nice match.

    Then Jack Swagger comes out and he’s going to face John Cena? This was never a match. It was just a beatdown. This John Cena had some fire. Then Kane told Cena he was embracing the hate. Interesting.

    We then had Brodus Clay kill JTG. Next to him is the chick whose second favorite match is Clay-Hawkins. I don’t know if this is right, but Funkasaurus is probably the best thing on Raw tonight.

    Daniel Bryan cut a nice promo about why Big Show is a horrible person. The great part is that Bryan was a heel who told the truth. I really liked that.

    The main event was really good. Jericho got tagged in, soaked up the adoration of the crowd and then walked off. Mark Henry chased Daniel Bryan to the back. And to make up for the missing person, Mick Foley came out. After the faces won, Johnny Ace came out and reversed the decision. Punk laid in to Ace about being pathetic and then walked off. Then Foley had a great face-off with Ace where Ace snapped. I had never seen Ace show that much fire before.

    This turned out to be a really good Raw. I need more like these.

  2. Pintnoir’s Impact Review 9-29

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    Here I am to take over the Impact Wrestling review. Boy do I have my work cut out for me. No Barkley or Daffney to assist.

    Sorry Daff, but the drunk tank you will stay

    We open on Impact and the continuing story of Bobby Roode’s rise to the top. Kurt Angle and Roode exchange words. Is it me or do I see a swerve coming with this whole Roode as champion pursuit?

    I know. I know I will regret this later.

    We now have the 5-man ladder match for the number one contenders match against Austin Aries for the X division gold. After a somewhat cluttered affair, where Aladdin (Kendrick) in all his Disney glory and steals a victory out from under Kid Kash.

    Go Make the street rat proud, Kendrick

    Kaz and Tracy get called out to the ring by The Jarretts, where JJ badmouths Kaz about leaving the company multiple times and how Jarrett kept taking him back despite his flip flopping. He then targets his venom on Ms Brooks for being disrespectful to his wife.  Calling her a “10 cent whore” which causes Kaz to punch Jeff. Soon security or the retired wrestlers brigade come out to separate them. It all comes to a head when Gunner comes out and F5’s Kaz. (Where’s Fourtune?)

    She slept with the owner of the company,

    Ink Inc comes out and gets jumped by Mexican America before a singles match between Hernandez and Jesse Neal could take place. After a swift beating and two big splashes by SuperMex, The Sitas spray paint NWO style on there backs the groups initials.

    Promo Flair argues with Hogan about his announcement and tells him not to do it. (Why again, would Flair care?) Next Promo is the pre match hype for Tara vs Madison for the Queen’s Qualifier’s Match. The winner taking on Velvet, Mickie and Knockout Champion Winter for the title.  Crimson returns.

    Knockouts Queen’s Qualifier Match, Madison Rayne comes out in camo wrestling gear and Tara follows with one half of the now pointless tag belts. “Accessories anyone?” What starts out to be a very promising match….sorry I couldn’t keep a straight face. Soon turns to farce when Earl Hebner gets involve and starts choosing sides. Madison uses her charms to get Earl to make calls on her behalf which leads to an eventual reveal and her luck turns for the worse only for her to win with

    She "slept" with a higher up for her old position, So tell me who is the better hoe?

    her feet on the ropes sealing Tara’s fate as her bitch.

    Even though she won't win they still show that she is an asset, and not a hinderance

    Christopher Daniels brags about his victory over Styles.

    Crimson comes out and calls out Joe. After some back in forth in which Joe calls Crimson his “bitch” a fight ensues which leads to Crimson to be put in the figure four leglock while still suffering from a fractured ankle. But don’t worry Morgan shows to save the day. After a quick clearing of the ring we have the two big men stare each other down until Morgan gives Crimson a friendly man pat on the chest.

    Next we have two underrated superstars Dinero versus Anderson. Let us make it quick. Devon’s kids interfere which causes Devon to come out. While that whole mess is going on we have Anderson in the ring at which point Ray hits him with the Singapore cane which Pope slyly picks up the victory.

    Sappy Roode promo in which I get early vibes of a wrestler’s version of Rocky. Roode makes the usual promises of training and going into BFG and winning the world title.

    Will he have what it takes to beat Apollo Angle for the World Title?

    Main Event: AJ Styles versus Bobby Roode. A really good match leading to Roode winning with a cross-face.

    Hogan comes out to announce his retirement. Or more correctly tease it for next week. Good way to try to boost ratings with a fake RETIREMENT promo. Sting listens back stage calling Hogan a academy award winning actor, Sting closes the show promising to be in Knoxville, Tennessee for the announcement.

    You know your announcement is on thin ice when even the Joker calls you on it.

    So that is all for Impact for this week. See you next week when we witness a Knoxville audience.

  3. Booking WWE Elimination Chamber

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    For a while now I’ve been doing the ECW Reviews. I’m pretty sure this is my first non review so check out how I’d book the WWE’s next stop on the Road to Wrestlemania. (more…)