Tag Archive: Team Captain

  1. Raw is Pre Wrestlemania-3-26-12

    Leave a Comment

    There are fewer bigger nights than this. Wrestlemania is the event that all events are measured by. This is the WWE’s second-to-last chance to get us to want to buy Wrestlemania.

    We begin with a tag match, Orton/Sheamus vs. Bryan/Kane. This match (shoot, this whole Raw) had one purpose-to get us to buy Wrestlemania. I like that they kept opponents separate. Heel Daniel Bryan was pretty impressive for me. I also like his commitment. There is no hesitation from him. The crowd seemed to be really hot and into a lot of the match. Commentary was also very strong. AJ got involved in the match and Bryan/Kane won. What a great first match.

    They did a really fun segment/match with Johnny Ace coming out first. Then he introduced his flag-bearer Vickie Guerrero and his team captain David Otunga. Booker T introduced Teddy Long’s flag-bearer Hornswoggle and team captain Santino Marella. As with all good David Otunga matches, it was short. As the match ended Miz did the beatdown and was announced as a member of Team Johnny.

    Eve killed Kelly Kelly. In other news, Beth Phoenix looked really hot in that dress. I was wrong. Kelly Kelly is now Super Cena with breasts.

    Christian walks out solidifying that he and Jack Swagger have a bad haircut contest. Then out comes Punk to reveal Jericho on the screen. He revealed that Punk was illegitimate. Then Christian attacked him which sent my wife into a tirade about his hair. My wife even liked the match enough to tell me. What a beatdown. Punk has snapped!

    Ah, yes. Nothing says focused for Wrestlemania quite like Brodus Clay. Curt Hawkins is on his way to your local Lions Club to put over Johnny Attitude. In his defense, Hawkins sold well.

    Big Show killed Primo. Remember when tag team champs weren’t jobbers? Cody Rhodes cut a really good promo.

    The Bellas demolish dialogue. So Zack Ryder’s gimmick is that he says stupid things to women. At least they had a focus for Wrestlemania.

    Great Khali fought Mark Henry in a match no one wanted to see. It was short and very painless. They had a face off and Booker T came to Teddy’s rescue. So Booker gets his Wrestlemania payday.

    Rock and Cena had their final stand-off. Rock sounded like he needed to work on his material in front of a live crowd. His monologue was awful. Then he was met by Cena. Rock has always put over talent. Shoot, he lost to Hurricane once. Now he has put Cena over verbally.

    It ended up being a really good Raw. They were focused and everything (except for Clay) seemed to be building towards a Wrestlemania. I’m ready for Wrestlemania. Bring it on.

    To follow me on Twitter, click here. For Facebook, click here.

  2. Smackdown: 11/11/11: You Should Watch This Episode.

    1 Comment

    In Canada, we observe Remembrance Day. I have only respect for this holiday. In the USA, they celebrate Veteran’s Day today… but I’m not American. Nonetheless, I hope people south of the border hold the same regard that I do for my Nation’s holiday.

    However, today is also Friday, which means that Smackdown is on. Tonight’s episode was taped in the United Kingdom. Rumor has it that Vince McMahon has become “too tired” to oversee Smackdown and leaves it to others lately. That might explain why it has been a very good program. Will that trend continue? Let’s hop to it, shall we?

    (more…)

  3. RAW 10.18.10

    4 Comments

    Sorry about no RAW review last week.  I originally planned to do it on Tuesday, but I completely forgot about a midterm, and real life caught up with me and bitch slapped be across the face.  Anyway, there’s one gonna be up tonight, and that’s all that matters, right?

    Tonight, John Cena will team up with WWE Champion Randy Orton against the men that got him into Nexus in the first place, Michael McGuillicutty and Husky Harris.  How will Nexus feel about this?

    RAW starts with Teddy Long, of all people, coming out.  He says he’s here tonight because he can.  Tonight, he’s going to take over RAW.

    “Get out of my ring.  Get out of my ring, now.  You have no business being here.”

    Teddy interrupts and says that Smackdown vs Raw this Sunday at Bragging Rights, and brings out the Bragging Rights trophy.  Teddy says that the trophy belongs to Smackdown, and they laid the Smackdown on RAW last year.

    “Get out of my ring, or else.”

    Teddy says he’s not threatening him?  He’ll show him, or else.  Teddy climbs out of the ring and he starts arguing with Cole.

    <YOU’VE GOT MAIL>

    Teddy shoves the mic at Cole and goes up to the podium.  He says that the Smackdown General Manager has an announcement to make.  Right now, the RAW GM is going to be disconnected.  He then introduces the Big Show and the rest of Team Smackdown.  Edge, Alberto del Rio, Kofi Kingston, Jack Swagger, Tyler Reks, and Rey Mysterio.

    AWESOME!

    Turns out Team RAW wasn’t too happy about that, and Captain Miz comes out with a laughing Alex Riley.  Miz says this is the team that’s supposed to take over RAW? It looks like Smurf Village next to a power plant.  Miz reminds us that he was the sole RAW superstar to win at Bragging Rights last year, is the team captain this year, and will lead RAW over Team Smackdown.  The trophy and the Bragging Rights that go with it, will go over to the A-Show.  Miz then brings out the rest of Team RAW: CM Punk, John Morrison, Santino Marella, Ezekiel Jackson, and Sheamus.  Miz then tells them to get out of their ring, or they’ll make them get out.

    Team RAW starts walking down to the ring, and then the brawl starts in the ring between the two teams.  While they’re all killing each other, I wanna say that it’s really cool to see Ezekiel Jackson back.  Miz then grabs his team and exits the ring, saving that they need to save it for Sunday.  Show takes a mic and says, don’t go back there and start a ruckus.  He gets it, it’s his ring.  Smackdown will get out of the ring, willingly, if Miz will face Show one-on-one in a Captain vs Captain match.  Miz agrees to it.

    <VIDEO PACKAGE: The Miz becomes captain of Bragging Rights after defeating John Cena in a No DQ match.  Husky Harris and Michael McGuillicutty interfere, costing Cena the match.  Cena attacks them, Barrett interferes, and Cena almost hits him. More Barrett-Cena heat.  The company makes Cena look like he’s losing his damn mind.  Barrett calls Cena a coward, pathetic, and a disgrace.  Barrett then says until next week, “You Can’t See Me.”>

    Still to come, WWE Champion Randy Orton and John Cena take on Husky Harris and Michael McGuillicutty.

    <COMMERCIAL>

    @legendkiller515 will someone please smack the hell outta cole #wwe #raw #bwf

    @CawCawBang Go away Cole you ugly troll

    @Lunna1969: Smurfette! Lmao! W2g Miz #RAW #WWE

    We come back to the Tag Team Champions standing in the ring.

    WWE Tag Team Champions Drew McIntyre and “Dashing” Cody Rhodes vs The Hart Dynasty with Natalya

    Rhodes and Kidd start out, Kidd going for McIntyre before Rhodes plants him and gets the advantage.  Rhodes tags in McIntyre, who dominates Kidd.  McIntyre plants Kidd’s face into the barrier before getting him back in the ring and tagging in Rhodes.  McIntyre drops Kidd onto the ropes and holds him there for Rhodes to kick him in the ribs.  Rhodes then tags back in McIntyre and they throw Kidd into the turnbuckle.  Kidd manages to tag in Smith, who hits a drop kick on McIntyre and gets the momentum back on their side.  He then hits two big kicks on Rhodes and McIntyre.  He goes for a cover on McIntyre, but he kicks out at two.  Smith hits a running power slam and goes for a cover, but Rhodes breaks it up.  Rhodes goes to attack Smith, but Kidd attacks him.  They set up for the Hart Attack, but Smith decides to attempt a Sharpshooter last minute.  Smith gets distracted by Kidd and McIntyre hits the Future Shock DDT for the win.

    WWE Tag Team Champions Drew McIntyre and Dashing Cody Rhodes win via pinfall.

    Natalya proceeds to yell at David Hart Smith about how they’re a team.

    Backstage, Cena’s thoughtful and Randy Orton walks up.  He says that they should lay all the cards on the table.  He can tell that Cena being a part of Nexus is eating him up, but he doesn’t think that it would stop him from helping Barrett take the WWE Championship away from him.  So, if Cena helps, Orton won’t have any problem punting him in the skull.  Cena says that if he even tries, Cena will break that leg off.

    <COMMERCIAL>

    @kickoutblog We need Bret to fix these… broken Harts. YEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!

    @HitTheRopes Look, Cody Rhodes and Drew McIntyre are offering their 2 cents…. Get it? 2 cents. (tag titles look like 2 pennies) #rimshot #wwe

    <VIDEO PACKAGE: R-Truth’s new theme song. I’m still not sure these lyrics are PG-13.>

    Goldust with Aksana vs. Zack Ryder

    Damn. I hate that they won’t play Ryder’s theme song.  I jam out to it when they play it.  Anyway.

    Ted DiBiase and Maryse make their way out to the stage to watch the match as Ryder gets an early advantage over Goldust, which Goldust gets back by slapping Zack in the face.  Goldust hits the final cut, and the match is over.

    Goldust wins via pinfall.

    Ted DiBiase makes his way to the ring and attacks Goldust from behind.  Maryse went to grab the Million Dollar Belt, but Aksana got it.  Maryse then chases Maryse out of the ring to try to get the belt back.  Goldust gets up in the ring and hits the Final Cut on DiBiase too.  I admit, I’m loving the weird Goldust’s return.

    Still to come, Smackdown vs RAW starts early as the Big Show takes on The Miz.

    <COMMERCIAL>

    @kickoutblog I kinda wish they would’ve done that video like those old Disney sing-a-longs with a bouncing R-Truth thread.

    @WWEsAngel_Nef Bwahahahahahahahaha <—-My reaction to R-Truth’s video package. #WWE

    @HitTheRopes Maryse and Aksana face to face. It’s as if Maryse was looking in a mirror…. a mirror that is worn, dusty, and doesn’t show sexy #wwe

    Barrett is standing with Nexus and Cena walks in.  Barrett says that he wants Cena to test Harris and McGuillicutty, to see if they’re good enough to join the Nexus.  Cena said that Barrett just told him to go out there and give it everything he’s got, and those are his orders?  He asks what the catch is, and Barrett says that there’s no catch: tonight he has the opportunity to show the WWE Universe the Cena they know and love, then orders him to get him a glass of water.

    The kid from Role Models and the new Knucklehead movie, Bobbie Thompson, is playing Smackdown vs RAW with Show vs Miz, and Show wins.  Miz then picks him up and to tell him that Miz has a surprise for him.  Show then takes Bobbie, and puts him down.  Bobbie then says that Show has to knock Miz out for him.

    Cena comes back with a glass of water and hands it to Barrett, who says it wasn’t difficult.  Barrett wants Cena to know that he’s really enjoying it, then splashes the water in Cena’s face.

    <COMMERCIAL>

    @kickoutblog Miz is assaulting children now? #favoritewrestlerever

    @FrankWWEClown Heath Slater, stop smirking, you little creep. #WWE #RAW

    @CawCawBang When did little chris rock come in?

    <VIDEO PACKAGE: Harris and McGuillicutty cost Cena the Team RAW Captain match.>

    BRRRRRRRRRRRRRR WATER BOY!

    John Cena and WWE Champion Randy Orton vs Michael McGuillicutty and Husky Harris

    Is it just me, or does Husky look like a pedobear remake? Hmm…

    Nexus come up to the stage to watch the match.  Cena and McGuillicutty start, and Cena starts unleashing on McGuillicutty.  Cena hurls McGuillicutty around the ring before throwing McGuillicutty after a vicious looking fisherman suplex.

    <COMMERCIAL>

    @redsandman99 I think it should be illegal for Husky Harris to not wear a shirt

    @kickoutblog Should be interesting to see what Husky & Imperfect can do when they don’t have to carry a keg.

    Now Randy and McGuillicutty are in the ring, and McGuillicutty kicks out of a cover as Orton tags in Cena.  Cena hits McGuillicutty, then goes to take Harris off the apron, then running into a dropkick.  Harris gets his chance at retribution and beats up on Cena in the corner.  Harris goes for a cover, and Cena kicks out.  Harris tags in McGuillicutty who beats up on Cena and goes for a cover, only for Cena to kick out.  Harris tags himself in and seems to get stuck for a minute between the ropes, throwing himself into Cena’s face.  He goes for a cover, and Cena kicks out.  Harris has Cena in the middle of the ring in a headlock, but Cena fights to his feet before Harris puts his knee in Cena’s spine.  Cena’s flat on the ring floor, but rolls out of the way before Harris squishes him flatter than a pancake hits him.  Orton gets in the ring with McGuillicutty and hits a scoop slam.  McGuillicutty rolled out to the apron, hoping it would save him, and Orton pulls him between the top and middle rope before hitting the DDT.  He points to Barrett, getting ready for the RKO, pushing Harris into Cena for an Attitude Adjustment.  Orton then hits the RKO on McGuillicutty and pins him for the win.

    WWE Champion Randy Orton and John Cena win via pinfall.

    Cena seems content that he, for once, was able to fight in his own way and won, again.  He offers Orton a hand, but Barrett tells him to hold it right there, and tells him not to shake Orton’s hand, and then tells him to get out of the ring, and it’s an order.  Cena looks at Orton for a minute, then climbs out of the ring.  Barrett says that Cena has the best spot in the house to witness the demise of the Viper, as Nexus surrounds the ring.  Orton looks at Cena and then hits Barrett before throwing Slater out of the ring and then is ambushed by Nexus outside the ring.  Nexus gets Orton back in the ring, but Orton manages to fight back for a minute before getting overwhelmed again.  The crowd is cheering for Cena, but he hasn’t moved.  Slater hits his finisher, for the first time since NXT, then Otunga does, then Gabriel.  Barrett tells Cena to get in the ring, and Cena does so.  Barrett says that he wants Cena to give Orton an Attitude Adjustment, and Cena says that that’s enough.  Barrett says do it, or Cena’s fired.  Cena gets Randy up to his feet, then on his shoulders.  Barrett then tells Cena to give Randy to him.  Barrett then hits the Wasteland on Orton.  Cena walks out of the ring and starts walking up the ramp, shaking his head.

    <COMMERCIAL>

    @kickoutblog Even better joke: Husky Harris is only heavier because he’s being weighed on the metric system. #Canada

    @HitTheRopes Slater and Otunga need to go back to the lab and come up with a better finishing move. #wwe

    Vickie comes out, just when everyone thought that it couldn’t get worse, but guess what!  This is RAW!!  Vickie says that she is happy to take credit for the Smackdown superstars appearing on RAW tonight, and there is one special superstar who has a special twinkle in his eyes, because his eyes are only on her: The Intercontinental Champion, Dolph Ziggler.

    Dolph says that people confuse his cockiness when it’s really just confidence.  He can’t blame them, he’s got it all: The looks, the shredded physique, gorgeous head of hair, and that’s not the best part.  The most beautiful, intelligent woman on the face of this earth is with him.  She’s the ray of sunshine when his skies are gray, she makes his heart go pitter-patter—

    Daniel Bryan interrupts and says that he may not be a lady’s man (to which Dolph replies with, “I noticed”), and says that even he could do better than Vickie.  Bryan says that he doesn’t have the movie star looks, peroxide infested hair, but he does have the ability to capitalize on any mistake in that ring, and the ability to make Dolph tap out.  So, he proposes the United States Champion vs the Intercontinental Champion at Bragging Rights.  Vickie seems to be encouraging this.  Dolph says that he accepts, but why wait until Sunday?  Why don’t they do this right- and then slaps Bryan.  Dolph then steps behind Vickie, who steps in front of Dolph.  Bryan then side-steps Vickie and tackles Dolph, preventing him from leaving.  Bryan then locks in the LaBell Lock, making Dolph tap.  Then, the Divas randomly come out and make their way into the ring with Vickie.  The Divas surround Vickie and tell her to leave the ring.  Gail throws a bucket of glitter at her, then Eve pours it on her.  The Divas then seem to be paying way too much attention to Daniel, and they all start to dance with him… and it’s painful.

    Anyway, hopefully Captain vs Captain can save RAW… because my head is already spinning.

    <COMMERCIAL>

    @bethsharae Oh no! Not glitter!!! #WWE #Raw I guess I should scream all the time at crafts time.

    @TKeep123 How can Dolph say this crap with a straight face? (Better check the Wellness policy again!) #WWE #RAW #BWF

    @kickoutblog Vickie Guerrero is amazing, why does she need that many zippers? Because fuck you, that’s why!

    @Niki_Sushi I don’t know which is more obnoxious – ‘EXCUSE ME!’ or ‘AND I QUOTE!’… #BWF #RAW

    @HitTheRopes: Oh, @WWEDanielBryan, in wrestling you might be best in the world…. at dancing, not so much. LOL

    Natalya vs Alicia Fox

    Let’s see how short this match is! I’m going to time it!

    Alicia slaps Nat a few good times and then tries to shout out to Calgary.  Natalya then throws Alicia into the turnbuckle, twice, and then throws her across the ring.  Nat tries to go for the Sharpshooter, but Alicia grabs the ropes.  Natalya pulls her back, and locks in the Sharpshooter, making Alicia tap.

    Natalya wins via submission.

    LayCool interferes and says it’s a beautiful moment in a NOT beautiful hometown.  LayCool says they would love Canada, but it’s so cold and they have watered down beer, and they say ‘eh’ all the time.  And they see Harts everywhere.  They say the Harts don’t belong in the Hall of Fame, but in the loony bin.  LayCool then starts to go into the ring, but Natalya’s ready.  Nat gets Layla, but Michelle comes in.  Michelle then puts Natalya in the Sharpshooter, Layla takes a picture, and Natalya counters.  Lay tries to help Michelle, and nearly gets put in the Sharpshooter herself. LayCool runs off.

    Oh, overall Diva MATCH time, about a minute and fifteen seconds.

    <VIDEO PACAKGE: CM Punk debuts on RAW again and Evan Bourne is out due to injury.>

    Teddy, Show, and Hornswoggle are talking backstage, and Josh Matthews says that it’s rather brazen of them to show up on RAW with Team Smackdown.  Hornswoggle grabs a Team Smackdown flag and the entire Smackdown Roster starts heading out.

    <COMMERCIAL>

    @kickoutblog If I were The Undertaker and had to listen Michelle McCool talk all the time, I’d want to be buried alive too

    @CawCawBang Nattie don’t play along with Laycool’s bullshit

    @bethsharae Alicia is gonna throw a hip out if she swings them any harder. #WWE #Raw

    @WWEsAngel_Nef God I hate Alicia Fox’s walk. I can’t stand it. She’s gonna break a freaking hip. #WWE

    So, the longest part of this show is the Stand Up For WWE video package.  So… Yeah.

    Oh, we’re back.  Cena’s walking away and Barrett stops him, saying he’s not finished with him or Orton yet.  There we go.  Next up, Team RAW’s captain The Miz will take on Team Smackdown’s captain, The Big Show… and all of Smackdown?

    <COMMERCIAL>

    @Niki_Sushi So.. I’m loving this video. Because it’s showing where the WWE goes, and not just on land and the airwaves. They reach hearts-who else does?

    @CawCawBang I’m so happy and proud to be a WWE fan

    @kickoutblog And “Do you smell what Barack is cookin?” is still amazing. #TheRockObama

    @WWEsAngel_Nef LOL God Vince McMahon is good at what he does. Way to do some quick damage control. Nice video package. #WWE

    We’re finally going to introduce the guest star, Bobbie J Thompson.  Sweet.  He says he loves the boos and to keep them coming.  He says that he’s there to introduce the man who’s going to leave Team Smackdown to a victory over Team RAW: The Big Show.  No, but seriously.  Where’s the muzzle on that kid?

    Show comes out with Hornswoggle behind him, waving the flag, and Team Smackdown follows him out.  Actually, all of Smackdown follows him out.

    Miz comes out, but tells Alex Riley to stay behind and walks down to the ring alone.  He pauses though, grinning and motioning for everyone else to come out.  Team RAW comes out, followed by the RAW roster.

    The Big Show vs The Miz

    Show closes in on Miz, rips his shirt, and slaps his chest.  Show continues to rip up the RAW shirt and slaps his chest again.  Show then Irish Whips Miz into a corner, and Show throws him out of the ring.  Smackdown closes in, and RAW starts to close in too.  Show attacks RAW, and when Smackdown comes in, Show rolls in the ring.

    Teddy Long comes out and says that since Bragging Rights is only six days away and everyone from both rosters is out there, he says that they have themselves a Smackdown vs RAW battle royal, and they’re going to do it right now.

    Now, I hate reviewing battle royals.  So, I hope you watched RAW to figure out what happens, because I’m only going to tell you the winner.

    <COMMERCIAL>

    @TKeep123 Ok, I’m old, but the Red and Blue is reminding me of “Rock’em Sock’em Robots!” #WWE #RAW #BWF

    Hornswoggle beats Cole up and takes his spot as an announcer, and no one knows what the fuck is going on in the ring.  I can’t tell you what’s going on, but Swagger loses his mind and puts Edge in an ankle lock.  Toward the end here, a bunch of RAW guys got eliminated and Smackdown is doing a good job holding their own.  The last Smackdown guy ends up as The Big Show against Sheamus, Bryan, Jackson, and Miz.  Down goes Bryan, then Jackson.  Miz and Sheamus work together to get Show over the top rope, and no one remembered Edge wasn’t technically eliminated.  So, Edge and Show are the only two left in the ring.

    Team Smackdown wins.

    Nexus is watching backstage, and Barrett says that all of them, and Cena, are going to witness what’s going to happen Sunday when he’s crowned WWE Champion.  Barrett tells Cena to raise his hand as a token of victory.  Cena shoves Slater and Gabriel out of the way and raises Barrett’s hand before walking away.

    And that’s all she wrote, folks.  Daniel Bryan dancing is burned behind my retina, so I’m going to go watch… something to get the image out of my head.  Good night.

  4. RAW review 10/12/09

    1 Comment

    To quote the underrated band Unwritten Law, “I’m sick of my sickness.”  I feel like crap right now, so my goal tonight is to do as little as possible to get through this review before I turn it over to whomever tonight’s BWF guest host will be.

    Chris Jericho kicks things off, explaining WWE Bragging Rights, explaining that the main event will be a 7 on 7 tag match between RAW and SmackDown.  Jericho says he can choose whichever side he wants since he’s a Unified Tag Team Champion, but he’s been named the SmackDown team captain and plans to put together a great team.  Guest Host Nancy O’Dell interrupts and tells him that we don’t start RAW with him, we start it with DX.

    BREAK IT DOWN!

    Shawn Michaels and Triple H make their way out to the ring.  Or at least, Triple H does. Mark Eaton, the timekeeper, gets in the ring and does the running around Triple H bit.  The Game says we’re doing things differently tonight.  Are you ready?

    For the thousands in attendance, the millions watching at home, and Shawn Michaels who’s not here.  He says he got a call from HBK, with whom he was going to set up the RAW team for Bragging Rights.  He could go ahead and make the team, but instead he’s going to be a true friend and call HBK at home and badger him.  HBK’s voicemail is a parody of his theme music.  HBK picks up.  Triple H and the DX Army want to know where he is.  He says his daughter got sick and he had to stay home.  He just put her to sleep and finished reading her a bedtime story.  Triple H asks if it was from the Unauthorized History of DX that’s on sale now, would he?  He says he wouldn’t read his daughter that crap… um… he means… he means that of course he read it!  Triple H says he reads it to his kids all the time.  HBK says goodbye to Indianapolis, and Triple H is then interrupted by Chris Jericho and The Big Show.  Jericho puts over SmackDown.  Triple H says SmackDown is a good show.  A very good show with a spineless GM that does whatever Vince says, it features a grumpy little troll who runs his mouth all the time (that’s Jericho), and it features great, great, wrestling.  Y’know, like The Great Khali.  Triple H says it’s nowhere near the league of RAW (Editor Note: He’s right.  It’s in a much much better league).  Jericho says that he’s going to take The Big Show for the SmackDown team despite the fact that he’s a RAW Superstar.  Triple H says that Jericho’s the boss, then makes a couple of gay jokes.  Show says that he and Jericho are equals, and Big Show carries the team.  Jericho asks him what he just said.  Show says he’s not the one who got pinned last week.  Jericho says he’s not the one who was the laughing stock of Sportscenter after being humiliated by Shaquille O’Neil.  Show says that at least he didn’t get punked out by a 200 Year Old fossil named Bob Barker.  Jericho says he’d face Barker anywhere in the world.  Jericho says he’s the best in the world at what he does, and he’s made The Big Show a champion.  He’s no longer known as the guy who got knocked out at WrlestleMania 24 by Floyd Mayweather.  Big Show tells Triple H he’s changed his mind and wants to be on the RAW team at Bragging Rights.  Triple H says it’s the greatest news he’s heard, but unfortunately they don’t have any spaces open.  He says he’ll do him a favor though.  He’s been given the authority to earn his slot on the RAW team.  All he’s got to do is win his match tonight.  Show says he can do it.  His opponent tonight is Chris Jericho.  Oh yeah, and that match is now.  The Tag Team Champions don’t look happy as Triple H leaves.

    <COMMERCIAL BREAK>

    From some of our friends on Twitter:

    @fozzyfan: They ruined a perfect opening of Raw by interrupting @IAmJericho for Triple Nose? Thumbs DOWN

    @IAmJHPunk: How did HHH already talk to the guest host & get permission 2 make the match when he barely found out that Show wants 2 switch? #wwerawfail

    The Big Show def. Chris Jericho

    Big Show tries to calm Jericho down, but Jericho keeps slapping him.  Show slaps him off the top rope, and Jericho falls to the floor clutching his knee.  Show goes to help him up, and Jericho tries to sneak back into the ring before the 10 count.  Show prevents that from happening and gets back in the ring himself for the count out victory.

    Maria Menudos is standing by with Legacy.  She asks how they’re doing and if they should be on team RAW at Bragging Rights.  They both think they should be.  There will be a triple threat match later tonight, and the winner will be on Team RAW.  It’s Rhodes vs. DiBiase vs. Cena.

    <COMMERCIAL BREAK>

    From the Twitterverse:

    @leomc2: what a waste of 30 minutes that was #wwe #raw

    @dasharpshooters: John Cena wants to qualify? dude is in a IRON MAN MATCH. #supercena #wwe #raw

    The Indiana Pacers are in the house.  And The Diva’s Champion is here – out first for a title defense.  Tradition be damned.  Apparently, Mickie James’ challenger is Jillian.  How the hell did that happen?

    Jillian Hall def. Mickie James to become the new WWE Diva’s Champion?!?

    Um.  What?  Jillian just beat Mickie James to become the Diva’s Champion?  Mickie had her foot on the ropes, but I guess it counts.

    From Twitter:  @SanzJohnson: since jill the new champ, hopefully she can get a new theme, outfit, and face! #WWE #RAW

    Jillian decides to sing Lady GuyGuy’s song “Paparazzi.”  She’s interrupted by the sounds of Lenny Kravitz’ version of “American Woman,” which brings out Nancy O’Dell.  She made a major Diva’s trade over the weekend.  Jillian is still on RAW.  The bad news for her is that she has to defend her Diva’s Championship against RAW’s newest Diva right now.  She knows a thing or two about paparazzi… MELINA IS BACK ON RAW!  Jillian scrambles to put her belt around her waist before Melina gets to the ring.

    Melina def. Jillian Hall to become the new WWE Diva’s Champion

    Well, thanks for coming, Jillian.  I wonder why Mickie dropped the title?

    <COMMERCIAL BREAK>

    From Twitter: @BigD923: Thank you Melina, Jillian as Divas Champions would of sucked!!! #WWE #RAW

    @steverechtman: Between Nancy O’Dell and Maria Menunos, this is some of the best mic work that the #WWE had had in a very long time. #Raw

    Snoop Dogg is the guest host for next week’s RAW.

    Triple H is talking to a cardboard cutout of HBK.  Actually, he’s talking to him on speaker phone.  Shawn’s music starts playing, and Hornswoggle comes out dressed like HBK!  Shawn says he’s not watching and he’s going into the living room to see what’s going on.  Triple H says it’s gimmick infringement, and Hornswoggle hits sweet shin music on the HBK cutout.  Triple H tries to save him, but Hornswoggle knocks The Game down and gives him a crotch chop.

    Full details of the Diva trade will be available on WWE.com after RAW tonight

    Santino is with Nancy O’Dell, who is the Sexy Superfan of the Month from WWE Magazine.  Santino does his best anchor work when Beth Phoenix comes in and shoves him out of the way.  She says that she heard she’s been traded to SmackDown.  Phoenix pretty much says she’ll kick O’Dell and Menoudos’ asses.  Santino says that Maria isn’t scared, she’d compete against Phoenix in some kind of match tonight.  Santino says it’s official while O’Dell tries to tell him it’s a bad idea.  Santino says he faked every “organism” with Beth Phoenix in the past.

    Last Week: An Iron Man Match was made for Bragging Rights

    From Twitter:  @DCsPeoplesChamp: Why do they keep Hornswaggle around?  #midgetfail

    @WellYoureWrong: Okay, how drunk and or high do you have to be to sit through Cena Vs Orton for an Hour? #wwe

    @ANDaniloTheRef: Beth to SD!? I can only imagine the Matches she could have against Natalya but, the Matches ain’t gonna happen. Damn Bikini Models! #WWE

    WrestleMania 26 Tickets go on sale in 26 days.

    Legacy make their way out for their triple threat match.  John Cena comes out and we’re ready for action.

    John Cena vs. Cody Rhodes vs. Ted DiBiase

    The idea here is that Legacy are going to try and soften up Cena for his Iron Man Match at Bragging Rights, but they still want to win and get onto team RAW for Bragging Rights.  Orton came out and distracted Cena while he had DiBiase in an STF, and Rhodes rolled DiBiase up for the pinfall.

    DiBiase isn’t thrilled with being pinned, and Orton tries to get them to calm down, and Nancy O’Dell makes a match for later tonight – Legacy vs. John Cena and Randy Orton.

    <COMMERCIAL BREAK>

    From Twitter:

    @HandsomeGenius: #Raw – The they could team Rhodes with Chavo Geurrero and keep the Legacy gimmick alive.  (This tweet is far-fetched.)

    @johnnyz4282: So that was our first real match of the evening. Time, 10:13pm #wwe

    @WellYoureWrong: I’m not a big Legacy fan but Cena didn’t win so, I approve.

    The Indianapolis Colts are here, and we’ve got a Bragging Rights qualifying match set for one fall.  First, it’s the All-American American Jack Swagger, who has guaranteed he won’t lose a match for the rest of the year.  His opponent tonight is a former United States Champion, MVP!

    Jack Swagger vs. MVP

    Swagger actually won this one pretty easily.  Impressive victory for the All-American American.

    So far, team RAW is DX, Big Show, Cody Rhodes, and Jack Swagger.

    Legacy are still arguing backstage.  Orton says he won’t team with Cena and he won’t let O’Dell tell him what to do.  He’s not going to let himself get tagged in, so it’ll be a handicapped match.  DiBiase says that Rhodes is thinking what it would mean to pin both DiBiase and Orton in one night.  Rhodes says that DiBiase is thinking that he can redeem himself by pinning Orton tonight.  Orton says if that’s what they’re thinking, they’d better keep thinking.

    Kofi Kingston makes his way out for a Bragging Rights qualifier.  His opponent tonight is the high flying Evan Bourne.

    Kofi Kingston vs. Evan Bourne

    <COMMERCIAL BREAK>

    From the Twitterverse:

    @aemckay: Kofi Kingston vs Evan Bourne? Wow. This is going to be awesome.

    @NekoEyes: Evan Bourne’s theme music is KA!

    @MigotoShiShi: Evan Bourne looks like Cody Rhodes and The Miz’s love child…

    Back from break, the match is underway.  A hard fought match, but Bourne gets caught with a Trouble In Paradise kick, giving Kofi the victory, and qualifiying him for Bragging Rights.

    The RAW team is now Big Show, Triple H, Shawn Michaels, Cody Rhodes, Jack Swagger, and Kofi Kingston.  Mark Henry and Chris Masters will have the final qualifier this Thursday on Superstars.

    Triple H is still talking to Shawn Michaels when Nancy O’Dell and Maria Menoudos come in, shill the book, and ask if Maria is ready for her match tonight.  Chavo comes in and asks what’s up with Triple H and Hornswoggle.  He thinks it’s a conspiracy.  Triple H says he doesn’t like the troll anymore than Chavo does.  Chavo says he should be the captain of the RAW team.  Triple H has Menoudos kick him in the balls.  HBK says if you’re not down with that, they’ve got two words for you.

    <COMMERCIAL BREAK>

    From twitter:

    @SanzJohnson: chavo isnt a stuntman anymore..he’s on crash test dummy level #WWE #RAW

    @WellYoureWrong: If you wearing the PPV T-Shirt, You’re not going to be on said PPV. #wwe

    @BradMilner: Poor Chavo … he’d give anything to be opening on Nitro again

    It’s time for 6 Diva tag team action.  Beth Phoenix and her team (Alicia Fox and Roza Mendez) are already in the ring.  Their opponents are Kelly Kelly, Gail Kim, and Maria Menoudos.  Before the match we get a sneak peek at Menoudos’ new movie, “Serial Buddies.”

    Maria Menoudos, Kelly Kell, and Gail Kim def. Beth Phoenix, Alica Fox, and Rosa Mendez.

    I stopped paying attention for a second and I missed the end of the match, but I know the faces won.

    Later tonight, it’s Cody Rhodes and Ted DiBiase against Randy Orton and John Cena!

    <COMMERCIAL BREAK>

    As is customary on Monday Nights, I’ve got to take off and won’t be able to watch the RAW main event.  I’ll turn it over to this week’s BWF guest host, Drowgoddess.  Take it away, Drow!

    Hi!

    We get a recap of The Miz (and he’s awesome!) winning the US title from Kofi Kingston. Then we actually get The Miz, title and mic in hand. He tells us to show some respect to the new United States Champion. He asks if he’s bragging too much, and says to get used to it. At “Bragging Rights,” The US Champ from RAW faces the Intercontinental Champ from Smackdown, John Morrison. John Morrison was nothing more than a hairdo with abs. The Miz was the talent of their tag team. Morrison is the new Richard Simmons, who will wear bedazzled tank tops and hang out with 400-pound women while the Miz is the face of the biggest company in the world. Any promo by The Miz is, of course, AWESOME!

    Cole and Lawler run down the matches from Smackdown that will be on the ppv card, then push the Cena/Orton 60-minute Iron man match.

    Randy Orton & John Cena vs. Legacy: Orton enters first. We go to commercial. When we return, Legacy is already in the ring. Orton has the mic, and says that he just got off the phone with Snoop Dogg, next week’s guest host. Snoop agreed that since it may be Cena’s last RAW, Cena will compete in one of the biggest matches of his career next Monday night. Cena enters, and the roof is blown off. Orton jumps down off the apron and stares at Cena. Legacy bicker in their corner before DiBiase and Cena lock up. Actual mat grappling for a bit. DiBiase drives Cena into the corner with kicks and punches, and Rhodes wrenches Cena’s neck. Legacy double-teams Cena. DiBiase and Cena again. Punches fly. Rhodes locks in a variation of the Camel Clutch on Cena. After this match, we will learn who Cena’s opponent next week is. Rhodes works the submission holds, but Cena stands and plants Rhodes. Cena tags Orton in when Orton glances down, and Cena stays far away from Orton. Orton has to wrestle Rhodes, and Rhodes tries to pin Orton! Cena loves it, and Orton is surprised. DiBiase tags in and tries to pin Orton repeatedly. Orton tags Cena in, and they make constipated faces at each other. Cena lays out DiBiase, and prepares for the Attitude Adjustment, but Orton tags in right then. DiBiase tags in, and pins Orton! Orton is livid and stunned. Cena waits for Orton, and hits him with the Attitude Adjustment when he finally turns around.

    Winners: Legacy (Ted DiBiase Jr. pinned Randy Orton)

    The huge announcement of John Cena’s opponent for his possible last match ever on RAW? Triple H. No, really, it is.

    Peace out!

    (P.S. from ThinkSoJoE – thanks to all of you from the Twitterverse who kept me entertained through this show!)