I was sick yesterday and I’m just now sitting down to watch SmackDown. So we’re gonna do things a little differently this week – I’m going to watch the show, and I’ll post my thoughts and the match results afterwards. Ready? Here we go.
WWE SmackDown Episode 533: “I Walk Alone”
Why, hello everybody. I am actually getting Superstars done on the actual night Superstars airs. No time like the present!
Match 1: Ted DiBiase vs Evan Bourne
TD2 comes out and dedicates the match to Cody Rhodes. Ted pounds on AirBourne at the start of the match. Evan kicks DiBiase out of the ring and hits a high-flying move off the top rope to the outside. Bourne goes to the well one too many times and DiBiase catches him and throws him into the barricade as Superstars goes to commercial. Back from commercial, TD2 has Bourne in a headlock on the mat. Ted continues to issue a beating on the much smaller Evan Bourne. DiBiase lands a picture perfect dropkick…ala Randy Orton. As Bourne fights back, DiBiase hits a clothesline that sends Bourne airborne into a flip…pun intended. Evan Bourne keeps fighting and hits his usual offense and as he goes for a flying kick, DiBiase ducks and hits DreamStreet for the win.
Ted DiBiase needs to figure into the title picture at some point. This guy is Randy Orton 2.0!
Ask the Divas segment. God…Jillian is so ugly!
Match 2: Sheamus vs Shelton Benjamin
Shelton comes out with his shoulder wrapped. Sheamus starts out focussing on Shelton’s injured shoulder, but Shelton forces the action outside and is baited into the ring post. As the action re-enters the ring, Sheamus rams Shelton’s shoulder into the post again and again. The match turns technical, as Sheamus applies an armbar and arm DDT. Sheamus rips off the wrapping and continues to work on the Gold Standard’s shoulder. The crowd is absolutely dead during this match. Shelton gets to the ropes and Sheamus continues the beating, resulting in a DQ and win for Benjamin. As the ref is aiding Shelton back to his feet, the Celtic Warrior nails him with a big boot.
Josh Matthews interviews the Hard Dynasty in the Locker area.
Main Event: The Hart Dynasty vs Cryme Tyme
Eve is hot but she needs to quit dancing when she comes out with Cryme Tyme…she looks really idiotic. JTG and Tyson Kidd start it off and Kidd mocks JTG. Very nice athletic chains and counters are applied until tags bring in Shad and David Hart Smith. Here come the power punches and high impact spots. DH tags in Kidd and Shad fights out of the double team and sends Tyson Kidd out to the floor. Shad jumps off the mat and hits a clothesline on both members of the Hart Dynasty, as we go to the last commercial of the evening. Back from commercial, JTG attempts a pin on Kidd and gets a twoooooooooo. DH gets the tag in, but cannot overpower the smaller JTG. With the refs back turned, Tyson Kidd comes out of nowhere to dropkick JTG into the outside ringpost. This allows DH to get his power spots in. Respective tags get Shad and Kidd into the ring and Shad gets his power spots in on Tyson Kidd. Kidd makes the tag and goes for the Hart Attack, but JTG grabs the leg and trips him. Shad then hits the Thugnificent and Cryme Tyme gets the win.
This was a rather entertaining show for a Superstars airing. Come back next week and join me again for another WWE Superstars!
William Regal demands an ECW title rematch on the basis that his mindset was thrown off at Breaking Point by Tiffany’s decision to ban Ezekiel Jackson and Vladimir Kozlov from ringside. Tiffany declines, telling him she’s decided he doesn’t get another shot. Instead, we’ll get a battle royal later on tonight to determine the number one contender. Regal is then instructed to stay in the ring, as he’s got a match, right now…
Stand back! There’s a Hurricane Coming Through!
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
William Regal def. The Hurricane
Apparently, this means that The Hurricane won’t be in the battle royal later tonight – Whasssupwitdat? Regal is forced to compete in his street clothes as this match was a complete surprise to him, and it shows, as The Hurricane controls most of it, and in fact hits the cross body from the top rope for a two. Regal decides to leave, but Hurricane catches him and tosses him back in – and gets kneed in the skull for his troubles – and a three count.
After the match, Paul Burchill attacks The Hurricane from behind and hits him with the Jackhammer.
Backstage, Goldust is apologizing to Yoshi Tatsu, who apparently just wants to continue his English lessons. He even impersonates Goldust’s tourettes. Zack Ryder wants to know if he can say loser. Goldust tells him to say loser – and he says “Zack Ryder.” Ryder says we’ll see who the loser is – Woo Woo Woo.
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
The new interview girl catches up with Burchill, who asks where Gregory Helms is, and remembers that he supposedly just left him in the ring. He says he wants to expose the Hurricane for who he is. Which makes me wonder why he didn’t unmask him when he knocked him out a few minutes ago.
The Bella Twins are here to be guest ring announcers. They introduce Yoshi Tatsu first, and considering he’s facing Zack Ryder, I hope he’s wearing an extra pair of tights. Matt Striker says that Zack Ryder has the best entrance music in ECW. I think it’s between his and Christian’s, honestly. And I still love Goldust’s theme.
Before getting into the match, however, I just found out that Mick Foley’s father, Jack, has passed away, so I’d like to take the opportunity to send condolences on behalf of the BWF staff to the Foley family.
Yoshi Tatsu def. Zack Ryder
A pretty good match, ending with Tatsu nearly kicking Ryder’s head off.
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
Battle Royal time. Shelton Benjamin, Vladimir Kozlov, Ezekiel Jackson, Tommy Dreamer, Goldust (who still has a letterbox entrance despite the fact that the show is broadcast in 16:9 widescreen), Tyler Reks, Sheamus…
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
…Yoshi Tatsu, Paul Burchill, and Zack Ryder (still holding the back of his head).
Zack Ryder wins a 10 Man Battle Royal to become the new Number One Contender for the ECW Championship.
Burchill is tossed by Shelton Benjamin. After about 5 minutes of nothing of any interest happening, Kozlov and Jackson stare each other down.
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
Reks was eliminated during the break. Jackson eliminates Tatsu. The fans are solidly behind Goldust. Seriously. Sheamus is eliminated by Benjamin, as is Jackson. Sheamus attacks Benjamin, causing him to drop to the floor, eliminating him. Ryder, Goldust, Kozlov, and Dreamer are left. Goldust accidentally eliminates himself while going after Ryder, who pulled the ropes down on him. The same thing happens to Kozlov when he goes after Dreamer, who is dumped over the top rope by the winner, Zack Ryder!
Ryder’s getting a title shot. Woo Woo Woo, you know it!
The one they call ‘Legend Killer’ here to bring you SummerSlam. Now, due to technical difficulties, I missed a portion of the event. Here’s what we’ve missed.
SUMMERSLAM PRE-SHOW: 15-DIVA BATTLE ROYAL
Chavo Guerrero is Guest referee.
YOUR WINNER: Beth Phoenix with help from Chavo Guerrero.
Post-Royale, Hornswoggle comes down to ringside, and with the Divas holding Chavo down. Hornswoggle hits the Tadpole Splash.
MATCH#1: WWE INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPIONSHIP
Rey Mysterio (c) vs. Dolph Ziggler
YOUR WINNER AND STILL INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPION: Rey Mysterio
Josh Mathews interviewed MVP and Jack Swagger before their match.
MATCH#2: MVP vs. Jack Swagger
YOUR WINNER: MVP
Spot the celebrity was next. Luke Perry, Nancy O’Dell and last week’s RAW Guest Host, Freddie Prinze Jr. are in attendance.
MATCH#3: UNIFIED TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP
Chris Jericho and Big Show (c) vs. Cryme Tyme
YOUR WINNERS AND STILL UNIFIED TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS: Chris Jericho and Big Show
An interview with CM Punk comes next. He’s going to re-write the ending of the Jeff Hardy screenplay he was handed.
That’s it for the catch-up. The Real Real-Time, begins NOW!
MATCH#4: Kane vs. Great Khali w/Runjin Singh
Kane tries to attack, but Khali counters easily. Khali sends Kane over the top, but Kane hangs him up on the top rope. Khali misses a Leg drop, and Kane takes advantage. Kane apparently has evil elbows. Kane goes foe the chokeslam, but Khali breaks it up and goes for the Punjabi Plunge, but Kane breaks that up. Great Khali tries for the pin but only gets a 2.
Kane goes up top with a Clothesline, and gets a 2. Kane applies a reverse chinlock, with half a leg scissor, but Khali powers out of the hold, and breaks it with elbows, then hits a boot to the face. Khali gets a near fall, then applies the Vice Grip. Kane escapes, and drags in Runjin Singh. Khali doesn’t attack, and receives a dropkick to the knees for his trouble. One DDT later, and Kane gets the fall.
YOUR WINNER: Kane
A shot of Vince’s star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. More celebrity sightings. Someone from the Today Show, Slash and Robert Patrick.
Promo video for DX/Legacy.
Side Note: My predictions are 2 and 2 going by my predictions on this very site, earlier in the week.
MATCH#5: D-GENERATION X (Triple H and Shawn Michaels) vs. LEGACY (Ted DiBiase and Cody Rhodes)
DX with a new opening section to their music, as the Army come out and fire guns in the air. HHH and HBK come out on a tank. After what seems like an eternity, DX finally enter the ring, say their usual, then Legacy hit the ring.
Helmsley and DiBiase start. Both men fight for early momentum, and it goes to the Game. Hunter with a suplex, into a Knee Drop for the two count. Rhodes gets the tag, and meets the High Knee of the Game. Rhodes slaps HBK, so HHH tags him in. Cody beats HBK in an upper hand battle with a slap, so Michaels takes him down with a tackle. Michaels repays one of the slaps, then starts tuning the band, but Rhodes escapes to the outside.
Shawn with a side headlock, but Cody escapes and tags in DiBiase. Michaels with hard chops in the corner, but gets sent across the ring by Teddy, and he does his traditional flip on the turnbuckle, meeting a clothesline on his way back. Rhodes back in, and he continues the assault. A near fall follows, and DiBiase gets the tag back in.DiBiase with a chin lock, but Michaels escapes, then hits a running neckbreaker. Michaels gets the tag to Hunter and he lets loose on Legacy. Triple H looks for the Pedigree on DiBiase, but Rhodes breaks it up. Michaels takes care of Rhodes, and as the referee is distracted, DiBiase gets a Low Blow in on Helmsley.
Legacy work on HHH in the corner, tagging in and out frequently to keep each man fresh. DiBiase with a chin lock on Helmsley, Trips tries to make the tag to his partner, but its inches in it, before Teddy pulls him away. Trips finally escapes the hold, and both men are down. Cody gets the tag and DDT’s Triple H. Cody with what looks like an Armbar-type hold, as Helmsley tries to make the tag to Shawn. Triple H escapes, and both men down again. DiBiase gets the tag, and he knocks down HBK before Triple H can get the tag.
DiBiase and Helmsley share punches in the corner, then Helmsley whips DiBiase across, but HHH meets a back elbow. DiBiase charges at H, but Trips side-steps, sending Teddy Jr. to the outside. Both men in, and both get the tag. Michaels fires at Cody, attacking on all cylinders, until diBiase attacks him from behind. Triple H takes care of DiBiase, as Michaels continues the attack on Rhodes. HBK heads up top for the elbow, but Rhodes counters, knocking HBK down. Cody tries a suplerplex, but HBK knocks him off the ropes and onto the mat. Michaels goes for the elbow again, but this time Cody gets his knees up. Rhodes tries a pinfall but only gets 2. Michaels locks in the Figure 4 on Rhodes, but DiBiase breaks it up. Triple H tries a Pedigree on DiBiase, but Rhodes breaks it up.
Shawn tries Sweet Chin Music again, but Rhodes counters into the Cross-Rhodes. Cody tries a pin, but Triple H breaks it up. Carnage follows, as DiBiase gets in DreamStreet on Michaels, but Triple H takes DiBiase out. Michaels and Rhodes help each other up it seems, then HBK fires Sweet Chin Music from nowhere, and gets the fall.
YOUR WINNERS: D-GENERATION X
I now go above 50% for my predictions, and after being 0-2, I’m now 3-2.
A promo for the NBC special of Wrestlemania 25.
MATCH#6: ECW CHAMPIONSHIP
Christian (c) vs. William Regal w/Ezekiel Jackson and Vladimir Kozlov
A confrontation before the match as both men argue, the bell rings, and as Regal is taking off his robe, Christian nails the Unprettier for the pinfall.
YOUR WINNER AND STILL ECW CHAMPION: Christian
Post-match, Jackson and Kozlov, begin a beatdown of the Champion, Regal applies the Regal Stretch, and the Champion is left laying. Just like that, I’m 3-3.
A video of the WWE superstars around Los Angeles for SummerSlam.
OFFICAL SONG: ‘You Gotta Move’ by Aerosmith
Recap of last week’s Main Event from RAW between Orton/Cena and Jericho/Show.
MATCH#7: WWE CHAMPIONSHIP
Randy Orton (c) vs. John Cena
Time to hear those Voices in your head. The ones the council you, that talk to you, that understand.
Champion introductions, as the bell rings.
Cena with a takedown into a Front Facelock for the early advantage. Cena tries to work on the arm of Orton, but receives right hands in the form of a fist to the face for his troubles. But these don’t last long, as Cena regains the advantage. He sends Randy to the corner, then drops him with a Bulldog for the two. Orton now with the upper hand, pummeling Cena in the corner, before sending him hard across into another corner. Orton starts dissecting Cena, stomping on everything that makes up the being of John Cena, before a jumping knee lands on the chest of the challenger, and Randy gets a near fall from it.
Cena tries to regain momentum, but Orton nails his BackBreaker for another near-fall. Randy now applies a chin lock, as the crowd is divided between the Cena haters and the ten-year old Cena fans. Randy turns the hold into a Leg Scissors as well as the chin lock, but Cena powers out. Cena with the Warrior Shoulder blocks, then the reverse powerbomb-type move. Next comes the 5-knuckle shuffle, and as Cena looks to finish him off, Orton gets a slam in and the near fall.
Randy begins the dissection, but Cena rolls out of the way of the Knee Drop. Cena attacks, but Orton avoids and Cena ends up on the outside. Cena tries to get back in, but Orton gets a DDT in, and gets a near fall. Orton begins his stalking for the Scott Norwood Punt, and like Norwood, he misses as Cena gets out of the way, and nails the Throwback. Cena nails what looked like the Fame Asser for the two. Cena goes for the Attitude Adjustment, but Orton escapes, and both men down take each other down with clotheslines. The ref’s ten count begins, and both men are up at 8. Both men exchange shots, and Cena gains the advantage with the Back Body Drop. Thats enough for Orton however, as he pushes the referee down and gets the blatant DQ.
YOUR WINNER AS A RESULT OF DISQUALIFICATION: John …
Wait a minute, Lilian sends a message, on behalf of Vinnie Mac, that the match is restarted, and if Orton is DQ’ed again, then he loses the Gold.
Orton sends Cena into the ring steps, then sends him in the ring for a couple of near-falls. Orton rolls out of the ring, as I notice two BEER MONEY!!!! fans in the audience. Orton decides that he’ll deliberately get counted out this time, allowing Cena to win again.
YOUR WINNER VIA COUNTOUT: John …
Wait, wait, wait. Vinnie Mac talks psychically with Lilian and the match gets restarted again.
Cena tries to finish it, but Orton rolls him up with his feet on the ropes and gets the 3!!
YOUR WINNER AND STILL WWE CHAMPION: Randy …
Just when you thought it was all over, a second referee comes down and tells the first referee, that Orton’s feet were on the ropes. So we restart again …
Cena locks in the STF and has Orton beat, until what looked like a fan comes in and attacks the referee, causing confusion amongst everyone.
The match gets started yet again, Orton nails the RKO and finally gets the victory.
YOUR WINNER AND STILL WWE CHAMPION: Randy Orton
Promo video for the TLC match for the World Heavyweight Championship is shown.
MAIN EVENT: WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP
TABLES, LADDERS AND CHAIRS (oh my!)
Jeff Hardy (c) vs. CM Punk
Champion introductions once again, as the bell rings. Punk with the assault early in the corner on Hardy. Punk with a chair, and introduces it to Jeff Hardy. Punk with the ladder in the ring, and as he climbs, Jeff knocks him down. Now it’s Hardy with an attack in the corner. Jeff goes to climb, and Punk knocks him down. Punk goes for the GTS, but Hardy blocks it.
Jeff with the chair, sets it up, goes for Poetry In Motion and misses, and Punk catches him and hits a Back Breaker on the chair. Punk slams the Ladder on Hardy, then nails him with a low dropkick. Punk sends Hardy to the outside, then jumps out of the ring with a Suicide Dive, aniling the champion. Punk sets up a table at ringside, then grabs a chair and tries to mush Hardy’s head against the turnbuckle post, but to no avail. Hardy tries to send Punk to the ring steps, but Punk avoids the steps, only to receive a chair shot from the champion. Hardy then hits Poetry In Motion in the chair. Hardy sets Punk up on a table, and tries to put him through it with a Splash, but Punk rolls out of the way, and Hardy crashes and burns.
Punk tries for the belt again, but Hardy stops him and goes for the belt himself. Punk stops him before he can grab it and goes for the GTS, but receives a sit-down Powerbomb for his troubles. Hardy goes for the title, and just as he gets there, Punk pushes the ladder over, and Hardy crashes. Punk then puts Hardy on the top rope, and nails a Superples off it, onto a Ladder. Jeff nails a Twist of Fate, then heads up top and goes for the Swanton, but Punk gets his knees up. Punk goes for the Bulldog Headlock, but Hardy puts Punk through the table that Punk had setup earlier.
Hardy goes to climb again, but Punk springboards off the ropes and knocks Hardy off. Punk puts the chair around Hardy’s neck, and looks to send him into the turnbuckle post, but Hardy blocks it, and bashes Punk with the chair. Hardy hits Punk with a piece of the Spanish announce table, then hits him with the chair again. Hardy then grabs a super ladder, climbs to the very top, and Swanton’s CM Punk through the Spanish Announce table.
The stretchers are out, and Hardy’s being whisked away. Meanwhile, Punk has crawled in the ring, and is headed for the belt. Punk climbs, Jeff makes it to the ladder as well, and both are on the ladder. Punk kicks Hardy off the ladder, and unhooks the belt to become champion.
YOUR WINNER AND NEW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION: CM Punk
Punk towers over Hardy and just when you think it’s over, the lights go out, and Taker’s gong hits. The lights come back, and Punk isn’t towering over Hardy anymore. Taker gets up and chokeslams the new Champion.
My predictions ended at 5-3. Pretty good I think, always over 50% is a good thing.
Overall, the PPV was good. I enjoyed watching it. The opening match was a good opening, and the Main event was a good viewing, even thought the finish was a little scrappy I thought, but with Hardy leaving, the return of the Undertaker, means that Punk has his opponent for Breaking Point. This has been the one they call ‘Legend Killer’, tune in tomorrow night for RAW.
Join your Empress of “iMPACT” and cross the line! It’s time for some “Hard Justice,” and, porntastic though it sounds, it’s what we’ve got. Will Kurt Angle’s real-life arrest affect the main event title match? Will the introduction of “The Pope” D’Angelo Dinero obliterate the actual X-Division? Will the Legends title match between Mick Foley and Kevin Nash scar your soul for life? Will Samoa Joe and Homicide unleash the nine levels of hell that we all know that they can? It’s showtime, folks!
The mechanized voice of Professor Stephen Hawking opens the show, with references to DNA. The opening video package focuses on Matt Morgan, then on Kurt Angle, and finally on the Angle/Morgan in-ring dispute that ended last week’s “iMPACT.” We go to the opening pyro, and the ring.
Match #1: Steel Asylum match for the Number One Contender to the X-Division title: The Motor City Machine Guns enter together, followed by Amazing Red, Daniels, Lethal Consequences, Suicide (who enters up from the floor out of a cloud of fog), and “The Pope” D’Angelo Dinero. Dinero is a street preacher, according to Tenay and West. The Guns double-team Daniels, while Lethal, Creed, and The Pope climb the walls of the cage. Lethal Consequences double-team Red. Pope nails Lethal with a huge release suplex, but then falls victim to more Guns double-team goodness. Daniels overpowers Sabin, but Shelley stops Daniels with a top rope jawbreaker. Shelley hangs The Pope in the corner, but Suicide grabs him. Sabin kicks Suicide into The Pope to free Shelley. The Guns climb the walls, but run into trouble with Lethal and Daniels. Daniels and Lethal go at each other, and Daniels brings Lethal down to the mat. The Pope goes after Daniels, ducks a punch, and Daniels punches the cage. Both men hit the mat. Suicide goes after Shelley on the top rope, but Sabin runs up the ropes and throws Suicide over. The Guns double-team Lethal Consequences, but get attacked by Daniels and The Pope. Suicide lands a huge Tower of Doom powerbomb on Daniels, Red, and The Pope. Creed and Shelley go, and the Guns trap Lethal Consequences in submission holds, but the holds are broken. Shelley hits the Sliced Bread on Daniels, but Lethal takes down Shelley. Sabin takes down Lethal. Creed takes down Sabin. Red takes down Creed. Everyone makes it back up to climb the wall. Daniels takes The Pope down to the mat. Suicide and Creed hit the mat. The Guns take down Lethal. Red DDTs Sabin, then Shelley. Red climbs the wall, but Daniels is right behind him. Daniels hangs upside down from the roof by one leg after throwing Red to the mat. The Pope brings Suicide down, then drops to the mat to punish him further. Daniels extricates himself from the roof, and crawls through the roof to win.
Winner and #1 Contender to the X-Division title: Daniels
Jeremy Borash interviews Daniels about facing either Samoa Joe or Homicide at the next ppv. He has history with both of them, and whoever doesn’t lose tonight will lose to him next month. Daniels tells AJ Styles not to question himself, that he and the TNA fans are thinking of him. Tenay and West run down the rest of the card.
Lauren interviews Matt Morgan about his friction with Kurt Angle. Morgan wants to be in the MEM, but Angle is the one who jerked him around for weeks, getting him to do Angle’s dirty work. Tonight, Morgan rewards himself with the title that’s destined to be his.
Match #2: “$50,000 Bounty Challenge” match, Abyss vs. Jethro Holiday (w/ Dr. Stevie): Weapons are legal. Basically, no DQ. Holiday shows no fear, and lays into Abyss with shoulder blocks and chops. Abyss has none of it, and clotheslines Holiday to the floor. Holiday ducks and Abyss punches a ringpost. Holiday throws Abyss into the railing, and follows him around the floor. Abyss is rolled into the ring, and Holiday attempts a middle rope elbow drop, but misses. Abyss punches down Holiday, then leaves the ring to get a chair. Dr. Stevie tosses a police baton to Holiday, who uses it on Abyss. Dr. Stevie directs traffic, and Holiday knocks Abyss from the apron onto the railing. Abyss places the chair over Holiday and goes for a splash, but Holiday turns the chair sideways, and Abyss crotches himself on it. Holiday hits Abyss with the chair, and goes for the pin, but Abyss kicks out at two. Abyss throws Holiday head-first into the chair wedged into the corner, follows up with a chokeslam, but Holiday kicks out at two. Dr. Stevie interferes, and Abyss drags him in the ring by his hair. Holiday hits Abyss with a bulldog. Dr. Stevie tosses brass knuckles to Holiday. Holiday charges Abyss with the brass knuckles, but Abyss counters with a perfectly-timed Black Hole Slam. Abyss gets the pin and three-count. Post-match, Dr. Stevie gets in Holiday’s face, and Holiday lays out Dr. Stevie.
Winner: Abyss
JB interviews Kurt Angle, who is completely clean-shaven. Hmm. Angle claims that nothing Morgan has said or done has surprised him. Morgan is young, excited, and green. By the end of the night, after Angle talks to him, he’ll be thinking differently.
Match #3: Rob Terry vs. Hernandez: This match was for posession of the “Feast or Fired” briefcase containing the World Heavyweight title shot. Hernandez grabs a mic and says that the fans are his family, and the ring is his house. The British Invasion can either return his briefcase, or he’ll take it and walk out over all three of them. All three Brits rush the ring, and the match is on. Hernandez pins Rob Terry in about four seconds.
Winner and possessor of a World title shot: Hernandez
Lauren interviews Beer Money. James Storm says that they let Booker T and Scott Steiner beat them at their own game, which is winning at all costs. Robert Roode agrees, and says that they got soft by having emotions. Tonight, they go back to what they’re good at. Kicking ass and doing anything necessary to win.
Match #4: IWGP Tag Team title match, The British Invasion vs. Beer Money: Eric Young comes to the announce table wearing a suit to join the commentary team for the match. Beer Money enters first, and they have new music. The British Invasion enters without Big Rob Terry, as he has likely been forced to commit seppuku for shaming his people. Don West and Eric Young make nice while chatting. Loud crowd chants of “Wanker!” Funny. Storm and Magnus start off, and Storm dominates with punches. Magnus gets thrown to the outside, and Roode tags in. Roode lays into Magnus for a bit, then Doug Williams tags in. Williams and Roode trade punches and headlocks, showing off their respective power. Beer Money double-teams Williams. Storm gets a two-count on Williams. The Brits double-team Storm, but Storm clotheslines both guys at once. Magnus is thrown into Williams. Williams is hung in the Tree of Woe, and Magnus’s legs are pulled into the ring post. A new take on the “69” spot. The Brits recover, and work over Storm, particularly on the ankle. The Brits use quick tags to maintain the double-team on Storm. Magnus and Storm go. Magnus repeatedly slaps Storm, but gets knocked to the mat for his trouble. Storm tags in Roode, who lays out Williams and Magnus. Beer Money dominates again. Eric Young tosses one of the title belts into the ring, and while the ref threw the belt out, Magnus low blowed Roode, allowing The British Invasion to get the win. Post-match, Beer Money tries to attack Eric Young, but the Brits pull them off.
Lauren interviews ODB and Cody Deaner. She tries to ask what would happen if Cody Deaner gets the pin, and wins the Knockouts title. Lots of yelling and foolishness.
Match #5: ODB and Cody Deaner vs. The Beautiful People: This was a tag team match for the Knockouts championship. Don West’s commentary here was absolutely gold! Love and ODB start, exchanging pushes. ODB overpowers Love and slams her back-first into the ringpost. Love hits a bulldog on ODB for a two-count. Love tags in Sky, who kicks at ODB while screaming a lot. ODB tags in Deaner, who spanks Sky over the tope rope for a ten-count. Deaner tags in ODB and Sky runs to the other side of the ring and tags in Love. ODB misses a splash, and a red-assed Sky tags in and TBP double-team ODB. Love gets ODB in a sleeper hold, but ODB fights out and throws Love over in a suplex. ODB tags in Deaner, who faces off against Sky. Sky hits Deaner. Deaner kisses Sky. Sky hits Deaner. Deaner kisses Skye. Skye hits Deaner. Deaner kisses Skye. Love attacks Deaner. Deaner kisses Love. Madison Rayne yells at Deaner, who grabs her over the ropes and kisses her too. Sky mule kicks Deaner in the groin. Love superkicks Deaner. ODB and Love scrap on the apron. Deaner pins Sky after Rayne tries to spray Deaner in the eyes, but misses and sprays Sky instead. Post-match, Love and Sky turn on Rayne for her mistake, and Deaner takes the title from ODB, claiming that it’s his.
Winners (and new Knockouts Champion) : ODB and Cody Deaner
Lauren interviews Samoa Joe and Taz. Taz says that Joe is taking the X-Division title from Homicide, starting now.
Match #6: Samoa Joe vs. Homicide for the X-Division title: Even back-and-forth action for the opening minute. Joe rolls out to the floor, where Taz tells him to get his head on straight and play his own game. Joe blocks a hurricanrana attempt by Homicide, and follows up with a suicide dive between the ropes. Joe is all strikes and knees, but only gets a two-count. Joe works on Homicide’s neck, and follows up with a snap power slam. Joe chokes Homicide in the ropes with his leg for a four-count. Both men trade chops. Joe power bombs Homicide, but Homicide kicks out at two. Joe locks in the STF ( a real one, not a John Cena one). Homicide gets a foot on the ropes. Joe kicks Homicide repeatedly. Loud chants of “187!” They trade punches. Homicide lands a top rope missile drop kick, followed by the tope con hilo to the floor. Homicide and Taz talk trash. Homicide hits a hangman’s neckbreaker back in the ring for a two-count. Homicide hits the Gringo Cutter for a count of two and three-fourths. Homicide attempts the Gringo Killer, but Joe pushes him away. Joe locks in a sleeper hold, but knocks Homicide down and cinches in the Kokina Clutch. Homicide taps, and Joe wins.
Winner and NEW X-Division Champion: Samoa Joe.
JB is with Kurt Angle, who goes to talk to Matt Morgan. Morgan yells at Angle for not knocking, and takes him to task for the way that Angle has treated him. Angle partially apologizes, and tells Morgan that if either he or Morgan win, Morgan is in the Main Event Mafia, and all is good. Morgan shakes on it.
Match #7: TNA Tag Team Championship titles match, Team 3D vs. Booker T (w/ Sharmell) and Scott Steiner: Two referees have been assigned to this match, with falls counting anywhere and no DQs. No, this is not awesome. I’m walking out. Be back later. Slow and plodding for the most part. Steiner pinned Ray, but Ray’s arms were under the ropes. The two referees came to conflicting decisions regarding the winners, and consulted the video tape. Booker T and Scott Steiner are declared the winners. Loud chants of “Bullshit!” Agreed, peoples. Agreed.
Winners and still Tag Team Champions: Booker T and Scott Steiner
JB interviews Mick Foley, who says that it isn’t about the number of zeros at the end of your paycheck, but the number of fans you bring to your feet.
Match #8: Legends Championship match, Mick Foley vs. Kevin Nash: Nash dominates early with knees and elbows. Foley fights back with headbutts and punches. Once the action spills onto the floor, Foley hits Nash with a chair. Foley goes for a top rope elbow drop onto Nash, but Nash pulls the chair inthe way at the last second and Foley hits it. Foley’s head is busted open. Blood splatters onto the camera, which is really weird. Nash punches the bloodied mess that is Foley’s face repeatedly, grinning as he does so. Elbows follow punches, and Foley starts to laugh through the crimson mask. Foley fights back and knocks down Nash. Foley pulls out pieces of his own hair, and goes after Nash. Nash is soon busted wide open as well from the steps. Nash rolls up Foley and gets the pin. Post-match, Nash uses Foley’s barbed-wire baseball bat against him. Abyss runs down with his own barbed-wire baseball bat, and makes the save. Foley grins and gives Abyss the thumbs-up. Abyss claps like a little kid, and leaves the ring.
Winner and NEW Legends Champion: Kevin Nash
Lauren interviews Sting. Sting says that you can only trust yourself. Matt Morgan will learn from his mistakes, just like Sting did. Kurt Angle is, well, Kurt Angle, and will walk over anyone in order to preserve himself. There is a third man in the match, however, and it’s Sting.
Match #9: World Heavyweight Championship match, Kurt Angle vs. Matt Morgan vs. Sting: Matt Morgan enters first, then Sting, then Kurt Angle. Morgan and Angle work together to throw Sting around. Angle misses a running shoulder to the gut when Sting dodges, and hits the ringpost shoulder-first. The action spills onto the floor. Back in the ring, Sting punches Morgan for a ten-count in the corner. Morgan is thrown to the outside, and Sting focuses on Angle. Crowd chants of “You got arrested!” at Angle at points. Angle throws Sting to the outside, where Morgan punches the Icon, and follows him around the ring. Angle leaps off the apron in a cross body, but Sting dodges and Morgan catches Angle instead. Sting kicks Angle as Morgan tries to handle Angle. Back in the ring, Sting gets Angle in the Scorpion Death Lock, but Angle counters it into the Angle Slam for a two-count. Angle attempts the Angle Lock on Sting, but it isn’t cinched in, and Sting escapes. Sting and Morgan now mix it up. Morgan physically dominates Sting, but only gets two-counts. Morgan hits a leg drop on the apron on Sting, but Sting kicks out at two. As Morgan runs into the ropes, Angle pulls down the top rope, and Morgan hits the floor. Angle and Morgan stare down. Crowd chants of “Fuck him up, Morgan!” Morgan throws sweat at Angle and turns his back to him. Angle attacks Morgan from behind. Morgan nails a Carbon Footprint on Angle on the floor. Morgan pins Sting for more than three counts, but the ref is outside checking on Angle. Sting pins Morgan, but Morgan kicks out at two. Morgan plants Sting with a stiff Carbon Footprint, but as the ref counts to three, Angle pulls him out of the ring. Angle hits Morgan with a chair, pins him, and gets the win.
Winner and STILL World Heavyweight Champion: Kurt Angle
So, the Main Event Mafia has all the gold in TNA except for the Knockouts title. The main title is still on Kurt Angle, despite all the legal craziness revolving around him at the moment. They have tv tapings tomorrow and Tuesday, at which Angle may or may not be allowed to be present. That Morgan should have won was clear, which made him look good. That we get Daniels/Joe for the X-Division title at the next ppv is also good. If AJ Styles’s announcement on “iMPACT” is that he’s a loser and he’s going home, I will shout “Turnip!” in a very loud voice. Join us back here at BWF for RAW tomorrow night, and assorted wrestling goodness for the rest of the week.
Peace out,
Drowgoddess
Ok… Raw sucked (read the results, didn’t watch) and ECW was very mediocre this week, so let’s see what Superstars has in store for us.
Match 1: John Morrison vs David Hart Smith
WWE is Canada is always ass backwards. David Hart Smith and Natalya get the huge pops in their home country. John Morrison is one of the few bright spots in WWE right now. Hell of a main event for Smackdown as Morrison takes on CM Punk. Little Bulldog is massive! He pounds on the Shaman of Sexy for a lot of the match. He hit a terrific suplex off the top rope. Morrison eventually hit all of his spots (Pele kick, standing moonsault, spinning kick, etc.) The Guru of Greatness gets the win with Starship Pain.
Match 2: Goldust vs Sheamus
The Celtic Warrior is huge, but looks smaller than he is because of his almost transparent skin. Dude is ghostly. How many times in a row are they going to do this match? Shouldn’t Sheamus be taking on other people to gain experience? This is just another example of WWE’s lazy booking. Anyway, Goldust wins with a rollup for some reason. Sheamus didn’t look weak, but shouldn’t they be booking him better than to lose to Goldust?
Random main event time: Mickie James and Kofi Kingston vs Rosa Mendez and Carlito in a Mixed Tag match
Alrighty then. This does nothing to enhance any feud. What’s up with Carlito’s hair? He look’s like a shi tzu who hasn’t been groomed in a while. I guess its part of his new dark and gloomy persona. This match was dominated in time by Kofi and Carlito. I think Mickie and Rosa were in the ring for about 15 seconds. Carlito gets the win after a backstabber off the top rope.
Random Random Random. I get that Carlito should be in the mix for the US title, but shouldn’t he also be dealing with his brother? Isn’t Gail Kim the number one contender for the Diva title? Why wasn’t she in that match? Sheamus should be booked to be taking people out…not losing to Goldust. John Morrison is great…nuf said.
Remember to check out Smackdown, which is obviously the best show WWE has to offer right now. See you next week.
Cross the line!
Match #1: Christy Hemme defeats Sojo Bolt: We open going straight into the match, which is awesome. Christy looks great, and is better in the ring than she has ever been. Not top-of-the-card Knockouts action, by any means, but she certainly didn’t embarrass herself.
Tenay and West run down tonight’s card, and a split screen shows AJ Styles and Matt Morgan entering the arena.
Lauren interviews Taz about Samoa Joe’s loss to Hernandez. Taz says that Joe let himself down. Joe beat Joe. Taz will motivate Joe, and turn a negative into a positive. Homicide will be the one to suffer, and Joe will put him out. Solid promo with excellent delivery by Taz.
Match #2: Hernandez defeats Doug Williams: I still don’t like Hernandez’s new music. Hernandez holds Williams up in a suplex for an eternity before landing a backbreaker over his shoulder. Brutus Magnus distracts Hernandez, and Williams takes control. Williams targets the neck and shoulders. Williams goes to the top turnbuckle, but misses a back senton. Don West is awesome! He says that the TNA fans aren’t the smartest of people, are the chants of “USA! USA!” for the Mexican or the Brit? Williams goes for a top rope cross body, but Hernandez catches him and plants him with a sit-down powerbomb for the win. Brutus magnus attacks hernandez post-match, but Hernandez disposes of him. Rob Terry attacks Hernandez with the “Feast or Fired” briefcase, and knocks him down. The British Invasion bails, and Hernandez gives chase once he regains his footing.
To the back! Hernandez grabs the mic from Lauren and yells something in Spanich. He leaves.
To the Mike Tenay sit-down interview! It’s with Bobby Lashley. Tenay says that he has followed every second of Lashley’s WWE career, and that professional wrestling wasn’t enough for him. Way to insult everyone, Mike. Is it possible to be successful in pro wrestling and MMA at the same time? Lashley says that he can. Tenay brings up the Main Event Mafia and Kurt Angle’s desire to be the greatest wrestler ever. Who would win between the greatest wrestler ever and the greatest MMA fighter ever? Lashley says that the fans will.
Jeremy Borash interviews Dr. Stevie (with a smokin’ hot Daffney) about his bounty on the head of Abyss. Dr. Stevie talks about defeating and destroying “Chris.” Abyss rushes in, grabs Dr. Stevie by the throat, and tells him to finish the job himself. Abyss is attacked by a chair-wielding “Outlaw” Jethro Holiday. For some reason.
To the back! Lauren interviews Tara, who has Poison crawling over her arm. Tara talks about Awesome Kong, and Lauren talks up the four-way Knockouts match. Tara is in creepy mode, and I likes it.
Match #3: Eric Young and Sheik Abdul Bashir (w/ Kiyoshi) defeat Rhino and Jesse Neal: Jesse Neal has the same haircut and ring gear that he had for his first match, which is appalling. Neal and Young (Ha! See what I did there?) start out. Rhino tags in and works over Young’s midsection. Neal tags back in. Tenay and West talk up the problems between Neal and Rhino. Young drives Neal into his corner, and Bashir tags in. Bashir tags in Young. Young levels Neal with a clothesline. Tenay and West talk up the “Steel Asylum” match that will take place at “Hard Justice.” The winner will be the Number One Contender to the X-Division title. Alex Shelley, Chris Sabin, Consequences Creed, Jay Lethal, Amazing Red, Suicide, and a debuting “Pope” D’Angelo Dinero (formerly known as Elijah Burke) are in it. Why am I afraid that Dinero/Burke is going to be handed the win and a shot at the X-Division title for his debut match that happens to be on a ppv, and the true X-Division guys will get shoved aside yet again? I hope that I’m wrong. Young and Bashir isolate Neal, and quickly tag each other in and out. Rhino is not happy. Neal has a chance to tag in Rhino, but attacks Bashir instead. Young grabs his trunks and rolls Neal up for the pin. Post-match, Rhino yells at Neal and slaps him. When Neal turns away, Rhino sets up and Gores him. Tenay and West play Rhino up as the face.
To the back! Lauren interviews Rhino about his treatment of Jesse Neal, actually getting some bass in her voice and challenging Rhino about it. “What do you think this is, the Lifetime Channel?” Awesome! Rhino delivers a strong promo about respecting what Neal has done in the military, but doubting that Neal can handle wrestling.
Match #4: Tara defeats ODB (w/ Cody Deaner), Angelina Love (w/ Madison Rayne and Velvet Sky), andAwesome Kong (w/ Raisha Saeed): Kong and Tara go after each other, while The Beautiful People bail and hide from Cody Deaner. ODB drinks from her flask, and shares it with Tara. Tara “Hulks up” and smacks her own boobs. ODB climbs to the top and leaps off onto Kong, Raisha Saeed, and Cody Deaner. Tara climbs to the top and leaps off on The Beautiful People. Tara smashes her head on the floor. Kong and Tara fight to the outside. Angelina Love takes out ODB with the Botox Injection bicycle kick. Kong broke up the count. ODB and Kong go. Kong womanhandles ODB, but ODB kicks out twice. Tara and Angelina Love fight outside the ring. Kong chokeslams ODB. Deaner hops up on the apron and screams at Kong. Deaner acts like he wants to fight Kong, but grabs her by the head and kisses her instead. Kong stares at Deaner, then pulls him into the ring and plants him with the Awesome Bomb. Tara runs in and rolls up Kong for the win.
To the back! Lauren talks to AJ Styles about his upcoming match against Matt Morgan. With the “Best of Three” series tied at one win each, AJ’s loss will put Sting at a huge disadvantage.
To the back! Jeremy Borash talks with Team 3D. I hate that Brother Devon talks respectfully about Booker T and Scott Steiner. More kissing up to Harlem Heat and the Steiner Brothers, neither of which are current teams. Talking up the Team 3D versus Booker T and Scott Steiner tag team title match.
Match #5: Scott Steiner (w/ Booker T and Sharmell) defeats Brother Ray (w/ Brother Devon): This was a “No DQ” match. Steiner gets the mic and blah blah blah. Brother Ray takes a mic and kisses up to Harlem Heat and the Steiner Brothers, before pointing out that garbage is also a household name, and, like them, it’s getting old and stinking. Slow, plodding, power game. Sharmell and Booker interfere. Ray takes Steiner’s chain mail headdress and puts it on. The British Invasion come down and distract, allowing Booker and Steiner to put Ray through a table and get the win. This was barely a match, and far too short for this sort of thing. With interference almost right away, it was pointless.
To the contract signing! Mike Tenay oversees as Mick Foley and Kevin Nash sign contracts for the Legends title match on Sunday at teh “Hard Justice” ppv. Both guys have final pre-match comments. Foley says that he doesn’t think that he’s ever had a conversation with Nash that didn’t revolve around money. Doesn’t a sense of pride or accomplishment meananything to Nash? Nash tells Foley that he could have made $20,000 at the past weekend’s authograph session, which he thinks that Foley cost him. Why doesn’t Foley take the easy way out, like Nash always has? Foley says that Nash may look down on him, but he loves wrestling with the sort of passion that would allow him to do it for free. Nash strips down and calls himself an athlete and a businessman, while Foley is a pathetic wrestler. Foley says that he’ll bring his set of skills on Sunday, and Nash can bring his, and they’ll see what happens. Foley says that they’re on a wrestling show, in a wrestling ring, with a title contract for a wrestling match, and nobody’s going through that table? Nash says that he doesn’t get paid for that, so he won’t go through it or put Mick through it for free. Mick says that he would put Nash through the table for free, and then announces that he thinks that he will go through the table for free. Foley runs off the ropes and hurls himself through the table. People cheer.
To the video package for the “Steel Asylum” match!
To the back! Lauren interviews Matt Morgan. Morgan feels no pressure, and is completely confident that he will win. He guarantees victory, in fact.
Match #6: Matt Morgan (w/ Kurt Angle) defeats AJ Styles (w/ Sting): This was the rubber match to determine the third man in the three-way dance at “Hard Justice” for the World Heavyweight title. AJ takes the match to Morgan by running the ropes and landing a flip dive over the top rope. AJ and Morgan fight on the floor, and AJ takes Morgan down with a flying forearm. Morgan is finally rolled into the ring and the bell rings to start the match. AJ puts Morgan in the Figure Four leg lock for a long time. Morgan screams, but won’t tap. Morganmakes it to the ropes, and AJ breaks the hold. Morgan gets his wind back, and uses his power against AJ. Morgan dominates AJ. Don West says that Angle has announced that this is Morgan’s last test for MEM membership. If Morgan wins this match, and helps him retain the title, he’ll be in. AJ kicks out several times, but Morgan continues to toy with him, and won’t allow AJ a chance to get in any offense. Morgan goes for the Carbon Footprint in the corner, but AJ dodges and lands a few punches. AJ hits a missile dropkick, but Morgan kicks out at two. Morgan catches AJ in a side slam, but AJ kicks out at two. AJ hits a Pele out of nowhere, but Morgan kicks out just in time. Morgan takes AJ’s head off with a Carbon Footprint, and gets the pin. Matt Morgan, Kurt Angle, and Sting will fight in the “Hard Justice” main event. Post-match, the entire MEM comes to the ring, applauding. Angle gets a mic.
Angle praises Morgan, and claims that the MEM was scouting him to recruit him all along. Morgan says that he thought that he was selling himself to the MEM, not the other way around. Angle says that Morgan has one last little thing to do before getting in to the MEM. Morgan says that Angle can’t possibly be asking him to help Angle retain the title. Angle says that he’s not asking it, he’s demanding it. Morgan calls Angle “little man,” and tells him that no one demands anything of “The Blueprint.” He isn’t passing up this opportunity, and he will be walking out of the match as the new World Heavyweight Champion. Angle is furious, and has to be restrained by the MEM as Morgan exits up the ramp. Morgan’s face turn is here.
“Hard Justice” Predictions:
Bounty Match: Abyss vs. Jethro Holiday
Abyss needs the win here.
Winner gets World Heavyweight title shot from the “Feast or Fired” briefcase: Hernandez vs. Big Rob Terry
Hernandez has got to get the win here.
New Japan IWGP Tag Team Championship match: The British Invasion (champs) vs. Beer Money
The British Invasion retains, if only because New Japan already issued one statement (later retracted) that they didn’t recognize the title change, and it can’t possibly happen again.
“Steel Asylum” match (winner is #1 Contender for the X-Division title): Alex Shelley vs. Chris Sabin vs. Jay Lethal vs. Consequences Creed vs. Daniels vs. Suicide vs. Amazing Red
If there were a god, Chris Sabin would win. That being said, Jay Lethal won the last one. I’m picking Daniels to win. This is all null and void if Don West was right, and Elijah Burke debuts as “The Pope” D’Angelo Dinero in this match. If he does, you can just hand him the win, as that’s the track record here.
Knockouts Championship title match: Angelina Love (w/ Madison Rayne and Velvet Sky) vs. ODB (w/ Cody Deaner)
Angelina retains. Please.
X-Division title match: Homicide vs. Samoa Joe (w/ Taz)
Homicide retains. He hasn’t had the title long, and there’s been no focus on it since he won it. He shouldn’t lose it yet.
Tag Team Championship match: Booker T and Scott Steiner (champs) vs. Team 3D
Team 3D should win here. I doubt that they will, but they should.
Legends Championship match: Mick Foley (champ) vs. Kevin Nash
Foley retains. Why let him win it if he’s going to lose it right away?
World Heavyweight title match: Kurt Angle (champ) vs. Matt Morgan vs. Sting
Angle retains. It’s Angle, duh.
That’s it for the real-time. Check back Sunday for a review of “Hard Justice!”
Peace out,
Drowgoddess
Two hundred episodes of “Impact.” And I’ve watched them all.
The main event for WWE Superstars is John Morrison vs Kane. Let the randomness begin.
Match 1: Christian (the next ECW champ) vs the man who despises foreigners William Regal
Continuous lockup to start the match, into a reversal of headlocks. This match has shown alot of flexibilitly and technical skill. William Regal pushes Christian off the top rope and to the outside, in a dangerous bump. You Suck chants aimed towards Regal start in the crowd. Back in the ring after the commercial break, Regal controls Christian’s head and neck in a series of blows and torque moves. After being sent back outside the ring, Christian re-enters and connects on two missile dropkicks from the top rope, but misses on the flying headbutt. Regal gets a near fall after a reverse t-bone suplex. Christian gets thrown into the corner and hits the springboard sunset flip on Regal for the win.
Match 2: Evan Bourne vs Jamie Noble
Jamie Noble has gotten slow. This match was a pretty good back and forth contest. Evan Bourne is amazing in the air. At one point, he came off the ropes and connected on a head scissors take down from a standing position. Bourne gets the win after the prettiest move in professional wrestling. His Shooting Star Press is what makes him a superstar.
Main Event: Kane vs The Friday Night Delight, The Shaman of Sexy, The Guru of Greatness John Morrison
Morrison is a future World Champion. Hopefully sooner rather than later too. This match was really good. Any time you have the best athlete in the company going up against one of the greatest big men to ever step foot in the ring, you have a great mix. John Morrison gets the win after Kane threw a chair in his face. As Kane looks to do more damage, Khali comes out and Morrison hits Kane in the back with a chair. Kane then runs off as Khali enters the ring.
Night of Champions predictions
Dolph Ziggler (challenger) vs Rey Mysterio (Intercontinental Champion)
Winner- Rey Mysterio
Christian (challenger) vs Tommy Dreamer (ECW Champion)
Winner- Christian
6-pack Challenge: Kofi Kingston (US Champion) vs The Miz vs The Big Show vs Carlito vs MVP vs Jack Swagger
Winner- Jack Swagger
Maryse (Diva Champion) vs Mickie James
Winner- Maryse
Ted DiBiase and Cody Rhodes (challengers) vs Chris Jericho and mystery partner (Tag Champs)
Mystery Partner- Brett DiBiase (why not right)
Winners- Jericho and DiBiase
Jeff Hardy (challenger) vs CM Punk (World Heavyweight champ)
Winner- CM Punk
HHH vs John Cena vs Randy Orton (WWE Champ)
Winner- John Cena
I remembered to watch ECW this week! We’re gonna do this in real-time, so refresh every 10 minutes or so if you’re reading while the show is on!
ECW is coming to us from Miami Florida, where the fans are chanting ECW to kick off the show. Speaking of kicking off the show, the number one contender for the ECW Championship at Night of Champions, Christian, is the first superstar out this evening. His opponent is the guy who got his revenge on Yoshi Tatsu last week, Shelton Benjamin.
Shelton Benjamin def. Christian
Christian was in control of this match, but he climbed to the top rope and Vladimir Kozlov’s music played and the Moscow Mauler made his way down to the ring, allowing Benjamin to dropkick Christian to the outside, and allowing us to take a quick…
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
Kozlov has joined in on commentary, and Shelton Benjamin has taken control of this match. Christian shows some signs of life but The Gold Standard keeps on him. Christian manages some separation and hits a missile dropkick. At one point, Christian gets Benjamin draped over the ropes, and some little kid starts chanting “619, 619.” Christian didn’t oblige, however, instead standing on the back of Benjamin and choking him across the ropes. Benjamin hit an armbreaker from the top rope on Christian, but only scored a two count. Christian goes for the Killswitch, but Benjamin manages to escape. He tosses Christian shoulder first into the ringpost and hits Paydirt for the win.
Kozlov smiles at the announce table after the match and says that Christian is “nothing.”
Last week on ECW, Ezekiel Jackson, who is a part of the new superstar initiative despite the fact we used to see him on SmackDown every week, beat the hell out of some jobber. This week, he’s here with Gregory Helms. He’s very happy to be on ECW, and he’s only got one chance to make a good first impression. Helms asks if he felt he needed to break out of The Brian Kendrick’s shadow. Jackson says Kendrick hired him because he needed him.
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
Paul Burchill is already in the ring. Know what that means? That means he’s doing the job. His opponent was impressive the last couple of weeks in matches with Shelton Benjamin, Yoshi Tatsu.
Yoshi Tatsu def. Paul Burchill
Burchill is aggressive to kick things off, which should be expected from The Ripper. Tatsu fights back, but not for long, Burchill locks in a camel clutch. Tatsu fights out of it and starts throwing kicks. Tatsu goes for a springboard missile dropkick but he slips (and much to Drowgoddess’s delight, there’s no “you f*&#ed up” chant). Burchill takes advantage, but Tatsu manages to hit a “buzzsaw-like” kick to the head of Burchill (to which Matt Striker exclaims, “you’ve got to be Karate Kidding me!”) and picks up the victory.
Still to come, Tommy Dreamer takes on Vladimir Kozlov
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
ZZ Top will be the guest hosts of RAW next Monday.
Tiffany is in her office, and Tyler Rekes enters her office and asks about actually wrestling on ECW instead of on Superstars. She says she’ll book him for next week.
This week, however, she’s booked somebody else. You might know him. If you do, you will remember the name… Goldust. Can you guess who his opponent is? Did you guess Zack Ryder? Woo Woo Woo, you know it!
Zack Ryder def. Goldust
Good to see Goldust actually getting to wrestle instead of being stuck in stupid backstage skits. It’s not like the guy can’t wrestle. Realistically, this should be a showcase for Ryder with Goldust getting his offense in, and thusfar, that’s what it’s been. I just noticed – there’s a new referee! I have no idea what his name is, and we’ll probably never find out. Goldust hits a Bionic Elbow from the middle rope, but he didn’t do the little dance that Dusty used to do, so he only got a two count. Ryder winds up hitting the Zack Attack moments later and picking up the win.
RAW REBOUND: Guest Host Seth Green got himself involved in the main event. As in, he wrestled as the tag team partner of John Cena and Triple H as they took on Legacy. His team lost by disqualification.
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
Strange things have been happening in ECW, involving a mysterious superhero in green who “blew in and saved the day.” Hahaha, blew in. Matt Striker, you’re so punny.
Sheamus is set for action against some jobber. Sheamus tells him that he’s come to plant his flag as the most dominant superstar in ECW.
Sheamus def. Roman Cornell
If you’re over 15 years of age, you’ll recall the original WWF Superstars of Wrestling television program. You’ll also recall the matches – the established star beats the crap out of the newcomer. That’s what this felt like, despite the fact that Sheamus is a new guy himself. Sheamus picks up the easy win.
Up next, Tommy Dreamer takes on Vladimir Kozlov
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
Next week, Christian and Tommy Dreamer will be guests on the Abraham Washington show.
Vladimir Kozlov is smiling on his way to the ring. I don’t want to see this guy smile, I want to see this guy kick ass, because that’s what he does, he kicks ass. Speaking of guys that kick ass, Tommy Dreamer is Kozlov’s opponent. I’m looking forward to a good fight here, that will probably get interrupted by Christian.
Tommy Dreamer vs. Vladimir Kozlov
You know, I was looking for a fight, and I got a wrestling match early on here. The thing is, even though these are two very tough guys who could easily kick your ass, they’re also capable of wrestling. The action spills to the outside, and Dreamer ducked a kick from Kozlov, who kicked the steel post instead. Very good match here. Not a match of the year contender by any means, but it’s entertaining. Kozlov catches Dreamer coming off the top rope with a headbutt to the chest, and drops the ECW Champion with a modified spinebuster for the victory.
Kozlov locks in a submission hold on Dreamer after the match, prompting Christian to come out for the save. Kozlov ducks Christian, who inadvertently hits Tommy Dreamer instead, then Kozlov nails a headbutt to the chest of Christian, leaving both the ECW Champion and his number one contender lying in the ring as the show goes off the air.
My Thoughts: Both the ECW Champion and his number one contender lost their matches tonight, and were both left lying by Vladimir Kozlov at the end of the show. I enjoyed tonight’s show, and I’m glad that Yoshi Tatsu and Sheamus were part of it. Out of the new Superstars they’ve debuted on this show over the last couple of weeks, those are the guys I think have what it takes to make it. I’m not sure about Tyler Rekes yet, and Abraham Washington hasn’t really done anything. It was an enjoyable show tonight for sure. I’ll see you guys Friday for SmackDown!