ROH results 9/14/13 edition
Leave a CommentHere it is, the night before we crown a new Ring Of Honor World Champion, but on TV we’re still in the first round of the tournament so here are the results:
Here it is, the night before we crown a new Ring Of Honor World Champion, but on TV we’re still in the first round of the tournament so here are the results:
This is my most hated week of the year. Don’t get me wrong, I love my country, and I love my neighbors to the north in Canada, but in the business I work in outside of BoredWrestlingFan, and in the city in which I work in said business, this is one of the most stressful weeks of the year. We’re busy early in the week for Canada Day, and then we’re busy later in the week for Independence Day. On top of that, this week marks 11 years I’ve been in said business, so I face the fact that for over a decade, I haven’t been able to find anything better than what I do. Oh well. Let’s go!
I watch 30 minutes of RAW, leave for work, give you the gist of the first 30, then review the rest of the show with semi-factual information. Except this week, because I don’t feel like it. What are you gonna do about it? Complain? To who? This is my site, I do what I want with my reviews. Plus, I play by my own rules. Screw you, G’s SmackDown Reviews!
Hopping time, you ready?
Read between the lines.
We open w/a replay of Foley facing off w/CM Punk, followed by Punk taking a lead pipe to the gut by Cena, the attack on Foley, and the stare down w/Ryback.
Out first is WWE Champion C.M. Punk w/Paul Heyman. Heyman carries the WWE title. Punk calls Cena a coward and accuses Mick Foley of shooting him a disrespectful look and muttering something under his breath, which is why Punk put him down like a dog. Punk asks (rhetorically) if Mick would’ve disrespected Cena, The Rock, or Steve Austin like that. Heyman answers “no” to each one. He did listen to one thing Foley said, about his legacy and facing John Cena in Hell in The Cell, and that’s why he’s here to announce that it still will not happen.
Heyman takes the Mike and moves on to a most relevant piece of business. We see last week when AJ responded to his marriage proposal by slapping him. He points out she never said no, but she did put her hands on him, in direct violation of an edict by the WWE B.O.D. He reads the memo handed down, and demands AJ be removed from office, and replaced with him.
Vicki Guerro comes out w/Dolph Ziggler and reminds us of AJ attacking her 2 months ago, and we get Heyman vs. Vicki on the mike, briefly. Dolph interjects saying this is all AJ’s fault and suggests Heyman and Vicki team-up to take over.
AJ skips out, and informs us all she is on probation. She calls Heyman a “slimy, shady, greasy, creepy as all hell, worm-like excuse for a man,” and mentions she now has a “coach” advising her on running the show.
And Now Daniel Bryan is out. He says he’s just out to apologize for contributing to AJ’s mental state by dumping her. He refers to himself as a handsome, former world champion with “a great beard,” and he is now the Tag Team Champions, plural.
Out comes Kane to remind us AJ Lee is a “phenomenal kisser,” and agrees with Bryan about everything, except for one item. HE is the tag team champions – plural. This breaks down into everyone hollering at each other, until AJ brings it to a halt with a freak out. She reminds us she is still in charge and makes a tag team match, Punk/Ziggler vs. Team Hell No. AJ skips off and we get a promo for a World Heavyweight Championship debate between Big Show and Sheamus. We see Sin Cara and Rey Mysterio heading towards the ring as we go to break.
Side Note: Rey’s mask is designed to look like it’s half his, Half Sin Cara’s. Cara’s mask is half his, half Rey’s.
Nice touch
REY MYSTERIO/SIN CARA DEF PRIMO/EPICO W/ROSA – The masked Mexicans dominate a fast-paced match up while the Prime Time Players look on from the stage. Rey ends it with the 619 and a drop of the dime for the 1-2-3.
We go to break with a reminder of the Sheamus/Big Show debate coming up later.
U.S. CHAMPION ANTONIO CESARO DEF BRODUS CLAY – This match starts as we come back from break. Cesaro cuts a picture-in-picture promo demanding appreciation in five different languages. Brodus looks strong until he takes a flying back elbow. Cesaro ends it with the neutralizer for the pin.
Backstage: Kaitlin is pulling up her sock over her injured ankle when AJ comes in with her executive coach Christopher J Stevenson. He’s here to evaluate her performance. She makes like she wants to make nice and asks Kaitlin for forgiveness. When Kaitlin smiles at her, AJ bursts into demonic laughter, saying she wasn’t sorry at all, and skips off, leaving CJS and Kaitlin to look confused at each other. We go to break, teasing JR appreciation night.
We come back from break with Zack Ryder in the ring and The Miz coming out. We’re told our social media ambassador for the night will be Larry King.
INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPION THE MIZ DEF ZACK RYDER – Ryder actually dominates most of the match, but Miz ends it w/a power-bomb to the corner and the Skull-Crushing-Finale.
We come back from break with Smackdown GM Booker-T making his way to the ring. He introduces the Big Show. As Show comes to the ring, we recap Show giving Randy Orton the WMD on last weeks’ Smackdown. Booker then introduces World Champion Sheamus. Both men make quick opening statements. Booker reads them questions from Twitter. Sheamus keeps reminding Show about losing the World Championship to Daniel Bryan in 45 seconds. Show gets angrier. Show collapses his podium (by accident at first.) Then we go to a Tout from Rey Mysteri-O’Sulivan.
It’s Sheamus in a Mysterio mask.
Yep.
Both men tease a throw-down, but Show just storms off. We get a promo for the main event tag, and we cut to Ryback lumbering towards the ring as we go to break.
RYBACK DEF TENSAI – Michael Cole informs us of Jerry Lawler’s improving condition as the match gets under way. It’s a pretty even trade-off of power moves, but when Ryback attempts to lift Tensai into the Meat Hook, someone botches, twice. Cole and JR try to sell it as a block by Tensai, and Ryback ends this with a hard clothesline.
We go to break with a reminder that tonight is JR appreciation night.
When we come back, we’re introduced to breast cancer survivors and their families in the crowd as part of WWE’s breast cancer awareness month promotion w/the Susan G. Komen foundation.
WWE DIVAS CHAMP EVE DEF BETH PHEONIX – Before the match, we get a recap of Eve trying to suspend Beth, getting called on it by Booker T, and throwing Teddy Long under the bus. Eve cuts a picture-in-picture promo where she hard sells the entire Diva division just a little too earnestly. This was a short back-and-forth match with Eve winning by faking an eye injury, hitting a low kick, and the neck-breaker for the three-count.
Backstage: AJ introduces her coach to Wade Barrett. Wade gives her a tongue-lashing before storming off. AJ says her coach looks intimidated.
We go to break with a promo for the main event.
When we come back, John Bradshaw Layfield gives us a Tout about his successful climb of Mount Kilimanjaro as part of a campaign to raise money for underprivileged children.
SANTINO MORELLA DEF HEATH SLATER (DQ) – Short comedy match ends with Santino hitting the “Cobra” on Slater and Slater’s friends, Drew McIntyre and Jinder Mahal jumping Santino. Drew hits the “Future Shock” DDT on Santino and they shove the Cobra sock in Sandino’s mouth. Each man introduces himself to the crowd. Drew is still “the Chosen One;” Jinder is “the Maharaja,” and Slater is “The One Man Band.”
We go to commercial with a teaser for “JR appreciation night.”
WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION SHEAMUS DEF DAMIEN SANDOW W/CODY RHODES – Earlier tonight, we had a backstage segment where Sandow and Rhodes both denied the WWE universe coming up with their name while bashing the debate segment. This was one of the most hard-fought matches on RAW in a long time. Both men were booked strong in this match and some are already considering this MOTY material. Match ends with Sheamus throwing Cody in the ring and hitting the Brogue Kick on both men.
We come back from break, with Cole in the ring re-introducing JR to the crowd. JR comes down from the stage, into the ring. Just as JR starts to speak, C.M. Punk heads out with Paul Heyman. Punk gives JR a big build up as a man who’s earned respect. He asks JR to call him “the best in the world.” JR refuses and gives Punk a dressing down. Punk stomps on JR’s hat and orders him out of the ring. JR is halfway gone when RYBACK steps into view. Ryback brings back JR and Punk decides discretion is the better part of valor and takes a hike.
ALBERTO DEL RIO DEF KOFI KINGSTON – Del Rio rides out in a $150,000 Mazarati, as Ricardo Rodriguez introduces him. We take a look back at last Friday on Smackdown as Randy Orton gets the WMD from Big Show, and gets attacked by Del Rio after the show. Kofi comes down with R-Truth and “little Jimmy,” while RR joins the announce team. Ricardo comes off a little disoriented on commentary. Kofi hits his spots but the match ends with him tapping out to the arm-breaker.
Backstage: AJ and her coach are talking. All seems well until AJ suggests that HE be the special guest ref. AJ says a coach “isn’t worth a damn unless he’s been a player,” and her coach “has never been a player.” She throws him out the building, and smirks like a Cheshire Cat.
Side Note: JR makes a boo-boo as he talks over AJ, suggesting Cole “do the reveal,” and apologizes for “talking when he should’ve been listening,” when they come back. Bryan and Kane make their entrances as we go to break.
WWE TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS TEAM HELL NO (BRYAN/KANE) DEF WWE CHAMPION C.M. PUNK (W/PAUL HEYMAN) AND DOLPH ZIGGLER (W/VICKI GUERRO) – We come back with everyone in the ring. AJ makes her way out as “special guest ref,” for the match, and nobody is happy about it. The match itself is a well-paced back and forth tag-team battle, with AJ playing it as a hard-line ref. At one point, Heyman pulls Punk’s foot over the bottom rope to break a three count, and AJ sends him to the back. Vicki protests, and gets sent to the back. Ziggler chases after her, leaving Punk alone to take a choke-slam from Kane for the three-count.
RYTMANS RANT
AJ Lee IS the star of Monday Night RAW, good and bad. The good is AJ has taken this derpy gimmick and RAN with it. She has the intensity and charisma to play this big and it’s worked. The bad is she’s not technically in-ring talent right now, so she’s basically high-jacking the show from the wrestlers.
My problem with this is there’s no point to it. She can’t make herself WWE champion, and she doesn’t seem to care who the champion is, as long as she’s the center of attention. She’s basically playing this as an insane child who sees RAW as her toy box, and if you don’t play “right” she sends you into the cornfield. (Twilight Zone Reference:”It’s a good life.”) To me, this is a waste. AJ is just playing with her “power,” and doesn’t really seem to care about accomplishing anything.
Here’s another thing, WHO THE HELL ARE THE GOOD GUYS AROUND HERE? Going back to AJ, why should I be happy about her sticking it to the heels if she’s just going to turn around and be nasty to the faces? Are Bryan and Kane supposed to be good guys? Why is Bryan still a douche? WHO AM I SUPPOSED TO ROOT FOR?
That’s all for this week boys and girls. I’ll see you next week with another Rytman recap and rant.
Impact opens with the World Champion Austin Aries coming down to the ring with his hurt right arm. He hits the ring and talks up the injury and how it would have effected him if he had been right handed but he’s a southpaw and ready to fight the leader of the Ace’s and Eights. Hogan and Sting hit the stage and Hulk reasserts his presence as TNA GM. He says if Aces’ and Eights are ready for a bloodbath then they can have one tonight. The Ace’s and eights ominiously appear on screen and tell the three men that they do what they want when they want.
Good Segment with Aries being dominant. And showing we have a fighting champion. Hogan coming back also helps set up the re-emergance of a power GM ready to make war on the faction. Best storyline all summer.
ODB is in the back trying to contact EY about her fried chicken and thier relationship which will be through if he doesn’t call her back.
A stipulation has been added that the leader of the BFG Board will have his pick of opponent at the semi finals at No Surrender. So we have the match between two of the final four in James STorm vs RVD,
After a good match which turned a monkey flip into a Last Call super kick. Storm is the winner and remains leader. Christie Hemme interviews the Cowboy who is deadset on getting that championship.
Madison Rayne comes out thinking she is getting a rematch with Brooke Tessmacher, when out comes ODB who crushes Rayne in seconds. Then Eric Young strolls in with a suit, sunglasses and ODB’s fried chicken and Beer. Ole D doesn’t recognize her man until he strips and she jumps into his arms.
AJ talks up his match with Samoa Joe. Which then leads into the Gut Check judges evaluating Kris Lewie. Then segways into Daniels and Kaz walking in on Hulk Hogan and Sting who show no love to the World Tag Team CHampions of the World, telling them that they’re laying down the law. The champs will fight and Hulk will tell them where and when.
Samoa Joe and AJ have there match which is another example of good psychology and just a wonderful match that leads to a Samoa Joe win. Positioning him in the top four alongside Ray, Storm, RVD. And I was floored when that happened. TNA shocking the masses.
Kurt Angle talks up his match with Hardy. And thankfully Kris Lewie was not considered for Gut check. And Joey Ryan makes his return throwing water at Al Snow causing everyone to restrain Snow. Joseph Park offers his legal services to Hulkster and the Stinger to investigate the Ace’s and Eights. Hulk agrees.
Yes Joseph Park is back in the mix. Who is pulling the strings?
Kurt Angle vs Jeff Hardy is a done well with Hardy going over after hitting the swanton for the win. Angle is out which leads to the final (five), James Storm, Rob Van Dam, Bully Ray, Jeff Hardy and Samoa Joe. Borash announces next week we will determine the final four excluding Storm since he is the Board Leader.
Aries returned to the ring to get his match. The TNA locker room lead by Hulk Hogan followed for support. The Ace’s and Eight’s approach through the crowd. A big man representing the group steps in to challenge Aries. When Aries started to gain the upper hand the Group descended down on the ring only for the TNA roster to fight back. Just as Aries was going to reveal the big man’s face an unknown man dons a mask and flapjacks Aries unconscious. The show ends with The faces checking on Aries.
Good way to end the show with the heels running the show.
World Champion Austin Aries comes to the ring.
He spells FLUKE and gives its definition. He makes a joke about erasing the “e” in fluke and telling all the doubters to go fluk themselves. He directs his next comment to Aces and 8’s and tells them that he is walking out of Bound for Glory the World Champion.
Jeff Hardy’s music hits. Hardy says he is going to win the BFG Series and they will “tear it up” at the PPV. Aries agrees. Hardy calls out Aces & 8’s because they cost him 20 points. Bully Ray’s music hits and comes to the ring and calls Hardy stupid. He says James Storm is behind Aces & 8’s. He makes his case and reasons through what transpired at Hardcore Justice. Aries calls attention back to himself and accuses Bully of maybe being behind it.
Aces & 8’s appear on the big screen. They main guy says sometimes when you roll the dice, you get the dead man’s hand. He says tonight they will make their presence felt in a big way.
BFG series Storm is 1st with 66, followed by RVD with 55, and Samoa Joe with 54
Backstage: Magnus talks about his match with Samoa Joe. He puts Joe over and says he knows everything about him.
Samoa Joe vs. Magnus
They trade some nice moves and counters. Magnus goes out to regroup. Joe knocks him down with a big forearm. Magnus answers back with a big boot to the head which drops Joe. Magnus sends him in but Joe kicks him in the chest. Magnus connects with a powerful clothesline and he gets 2. He drops Joe again and Joe kicks out. Joe sends him in the corner and follows in with a reverse elbow and an Enzuigiri.
Joe puts him up top, Magnus fights him off, Magnus comes off with an elbow, Joe moves out of the way. Joe applies a rear naked choke but Magnus kicks off the ropes to get free. Joe rolls through and pins him with a cradle.
Samoa Joe gains 7 points to 61 points to 2nd place. Joe offers his hand to a seated Magnus but he just stares ahead. Joe pats him on the back and leaves up the ramp. Magnus grabs a chair and clocks Joe on his arm when he puts his arms up to protect his face.
Madison Rayne says her win on Sunday righted an injustice. She is told by a producer that Brooke Hogan wants to see her in the ring. (And by injustice she means the injustice she is going to rain down on us with her subpar matches and complete stagnation of an already stagnant division.)
Madison comes to the ring. She thinks Brooke is going to throw her a party. He says behind every strong woman stands a great referee. She calls Earl Hebner to the ring. We get a small “You screwed Brooke” chant.
Brooke Hogan comes out and says Earl will not be the referee in any more Knockouts matches. She tells Madison that Tessmacher gets her rematch tonight and she has a special referee that she will announce later. Madison cuts a promo on her and challenges her to get in the ring. Brooke charges the ring and Madison and Earl bail. Brooke gets in the ring and tells Madison to come back. She says, “I’m a Hogan, I don’t go anywhere.”
If the real Glamazon (because damn she is tall) can actually wrestle that would be nice to see. Since her brother is a never was.
Two members of Aces & 8’s get in the ring behind Brooke and she turns around and they back her into the corner. Bully, Aries, Hardy, and Angle run out to her rescue and the masked men retreat. James Storm comes out.
Sting is in the ring and he says Aces & 8’s crossed the line but showed their true colors. Borden says TNA has its own pack standing tall in the ring. He challenges them to Open Fight Night next week.
Daniels & Kazarian talk backstage about being on the back-cover of the new Spiderman comic. They make fun of AJ’s “baby” and Claire’s looks. AJ comes out and says he was drugged and he’s tired of it. He tells Daniels that in their match tonight, if Daniels wins, AJ will accept he’s the father (Huh?) and if AJ wins, he gets the points and is taking a paternity test.
AJ Styles vs. Daniels w/ Kazarian
The ref bars Kazarian from ringside. AJ hits a quick knockdown and he chases Daniels around the ring. They go back and forth. AJ hits a bodyslam and drops a flying knee. AJ puts the boots to Daniels in the corner. Daniels goes out to get a breath but AJ gives chase. AJ hits a high back body-drop in the ring and Daniels begs-off. AJ hits a nice clothesline and covers him but Daniels kicks out.Daniels controls a side headlock. AJ connects with a dropkick and gets 2. AJ applies a Deathlock with a bridge, then a single-leg Boston Crab, then back to a Deathlock. Daniels bites his fingers to escape. Daniels drops his throat across the ropes and gets 2. Daniels kicks AJ out under the ropes. AJ gets in before the count.
Daniels sends AJ in the corner and slowly picks him apart. Daniels hits a suplex but AJ kicks out at 1. Daniels tosses him out again and tries to get AJ counted out. AJ gets on the apron but is again kicked off to the floor. AJ sunset flips in and goes for his finisher but Daniels counters with a crucifix chokehold. AJ drops to the mat. AJ bites his way out. Daniels hits a textbook suplex and gets 2. Daniels hits punches in the corner but AJ hits a running powerbomb. AJ hits a springboard forearm and a flurry of clotheslines for 2. AJ hits a suplex into a neckbreaker for 2.
Daniels pulls the ropes down and AJ crashes to the floor. AJ goes back in the ring and hits a front flip dive onto Daniels on the outside. Kazarian sneaks down to the ring and holds AJ’s foot allowing Daniels to fall on top of him and get the pin. The ref sees Kazarian and doesn’t call the fall. AJ hits the Pele for the win.
AJ hits a Styles Clash on Daniels.
-Sting is in his office talking to Hogan on speakerphone. Hogan says he is going to be there next week. They are going “old-school.”
-Hardy approaches Storm in the locker room. He says he’s got his eye on him. Storm sounds hurt by it and denies it. Storm says he will be out there during Hardy’s match tonight to watch his back.
Title controversy video from Sunday
Roode comes to the ring. The fans chant, “You suck.” Roode says he had the opportunity to prove Aries was a fluke and he did. Roode says he defeated Aries in the middle of the ring. He says he should be champ and now he gets no rematch. He says we don’t understand what that championship meant to him. He says Bobby Roode is synonymous with champion. He says Aries, Sting, the referees, and the fans are the only ones to blame. They chant, “You’re a loser.” He starts to say what he’s going to do but he stutters, pauses, ponders, and drops the mic and leaves.
Miss Tessmacher vs. Madison Rayne
Brooke comes out after the women make their entrances and says she has a phenomenal ref: Taryn Terrell. Madison and Tessmacher lock-up and Taryn has to separate them. Madison drives her head in the corner. She chokes Tessmacher with her boot and takes advantage of Taryn’s full count. Madison hits a suplex into a bridge for 2. Tessmacher gets two near-falls. Madison grabs the tights but Taryn sees it. Tessmacher hits a spear and they struggle to get up.
Tessmacher hits a combination of clotheslines and gets 2. Madison avoids a crossbody out of the corner and pins Tessmacher with her feet on the ropes. Taryn has to physically remove them as Madison gives her a look of death. Madison argues with Taryn and Tessmacher comes up from behind with a faceplant for the win.
Aces & 8’s appear in a video and say they accept Sting’s invitation for 8pm next week. One guy asks the main guy if they have unfinished business tonight; he says yes.
Bully Ray vs. Jeff Hardy
Storm comes to the ring and Bully asks where his boys are. Bully takes control of Hardy and goes out to shove Storm. Hardy hits a dropkick to Bully through the ropes, then comes flying off the apron.Bully gets 2 in the ring. Storm looks around his back for Aces & 8’s. Bully drops an elbow and gets 2. Bully applies a calf lock but Hardy reaches the ropes. Bully hits a suplex for another 2. Hardy fights back but gets caught with an elbow. Bully lands hard after Hardy avoids a splash. They trade shots. Hardy hits a flurry. He hits a front dropkick after an inverted atomic drop for 2. Bully hits a Rock Bottom for 2. Hardy counters a Full Nelson and hits a Swanton for 2.
Bully rolls outside in front of Storm. Hardy slingshots over the top but Bully pulls Storm in the way and Hardy lands on him. Back in the ring, Bully sends Hardy in but gets caught with a boot. Hardy hits a corkscrew out of the corner. Two members of Aces & 8’s get in the ring with and grab Bully’s chain. AJ, Aries, Sting, and Angle come down to chase them off. Hardy hits a Twist of Fate for the pin. Hardy gains 7.
Bully Ray immediately hits a clothesline to take Hardy out. He seems conflicted and grabs the chain. Storm gets in the ring and they argue. Bully shoves Storm. Storm accidentally hits the Last Call on Hardy. Bully leaves and Storm checks on Hardy. Aces & 8’s get in the ring behind Storm and begin clapping. Taz and Tenay are convinced. Storm turns around and they pounce on him and give him a beating.
The Ace’s and 8’s story is heating up and there is no telling where TNA is going next. I can’t wait. Got to love stream of consciousness typing while watching on the interwebs
PNTnoir OUT!
So Impact opens with the TNA World Champion and X Division Champion respectably on opposing sides against the former World title holder and the X division number #1 contender.
Austin Aries/Kenny King vs Zema Ion/Bobby Roode:
This match was an awesome way to open the show and get the blood pumping. Back and forth pin attempts and Aries diving out of the ring over Ion to get to Roode was excellent of course King gets the pin when he drops Ion with the Coronation.
We get the Aces and Eights video detailing the groups attacks. I find this group interesting and hope that it heralds a return for a certain Guitar swinging co-founder. This also prompts Sting to come out and want to talk to a certain person he believes is behind the group. Storm is the man he wants to talk to and in typical cowboy fashion James points out how 9 months ago he was jumped by Angle and didn’t whine about it and came out and whooped Kurt’s butt. He doesn’t need anyone to fight his battles. Angle comes out tells Storm that he will make Storm tap out.
The Phenomenal One tweets from Australia home of displaced British people who owed money to the king. Then from that we get a recap of one of the most ridiculous stories since Eddie Guerrero’s and Rey Mysterio’s who’s your daddy angle, Claire LynchGate. A new twist to the story is that Daniels and Kazarian are throwing her a baby shower. Yeah please take this plot from C list to B list Daniels you are a god send.
THANKS GEE!
Taz and Tenay announce the matches for the Hardcore Justice 2012 PPV. First we have a Ladder Match between AJ Styles vs Angle vs Daniels vs Samoa Joe. Then we have a Falls count Anywhere match where Anderson vs RVD vs The Pope vs Magnus and finally a Tables Match with Jeff Hardy vs Bully Ray vs Storm vs Robbie E. I’ll stream that.
Bully Ray comes out for his match where he announces that he never trusted Storm and will be at Ringside tonight. All this right before Robbie E and Ray have a squash match in most strict of definitions.
Bully Ray vs Robbie E:
Robbie T jumps Ray from behind and Robbie E takes advantage reminding me of the Joker during The Dark Knight always attacking when he’s down. Ray battles back and drops a neckbreaker to gain 7 points . Have to love the job squadder in this tournament.
Then we show the continuing hotness of Madison Rayne and her pull over Earl Hebner. (Yes I may not like her wrestling but well….You know.) Gail confronts the two and brings into question Hebner’s call last week. Then we get Tara and Mickie stretching in the locker room. Nuff said.
Knockouts Number#1 contenders match : Tara vs Mickie vs Madison vs Gail
And to cut it short..After another roll up pin this time Madison and Tara, Hebner grants the win to Rayne. This of course will be the Knockout Match for Hardcore Justice.
Well after a James Storm recap leads into Roode and Aries promising to bring drinks and themselves to the picnic which is the main event of Storm vs Angle.
Brooke Hogan is backstage with Sting. He wants to know about condition her father. After some “are you sure you can handle the knockouts” talk Brooke gets an envelope with Aces and Eights and promptly tears off her mic and leaves.
The Greatest Guerrero currently wrestling Chavo is shown warming up backstage for his first Impact match. Creative realizes that the KO Tag titles still exist and show ODB and EY talking about them and his new show.
Chavo/Hernandez vs Kid Kash/Gunner:
the unofficial reboot of Mexican America talking on those good ole Southern boys is sure to help reinvigorate and not irratate the tag division. After a decent match Chavo hits the three amigos (triple suplex’s) and a frog splash on Kash for the win. Now if only Daniels and Kazarian can get involved.
So not only have creative remembered the KO Tag titles but the Television title when Devon and (shudder) Garett come out to tell Angle they want a piece of the Ace’s and Eights. Angle tells them to watch his back. Oh and Wes Brisco of FCW asks Angle for a good word to get his foot in the door.
Daniels and Kazarian come to the ring to congratulate Claire with a baby shower bringing gifts and a baby doll dressed as AJ. Then the so to be chain smoking mother of one looks into the camera and tells AJ to do the right thing.
Kurt Angle vs James Storm:
A good match with many near falls, during the course of the match Garett and Devon, Bully Ray, Roode and Aries come down to the ring. After James Storm hits the Last Call for the win and 7 points, he takes the mic and calls out Aces and Eights only for Roode to counter that because he won they weren’t needed. Bully and Storm battle as Aries and Roode have at it (this is more than likely setting up a Ray vs Storm match after HJ) while Angle looks on.
I’m likely the unpredictablity of this program especially since its live so please TNA keep iMPACT LIVE!
Until next week, PNTnoir out.
YES! YES! YES! ThinkSoJoE and G are back with yet another episode of BoredWrestlingFan Radio! The usual chat about the televised shows ensues, followed by this week in wrestling news. What can you expect this Monday on the 1000th episode of RAW? Who does CM Punk want calling his match tomorrow night? Will Kurt Angle get his PWHOF plaque? Will Michael McGillicutty ever get his real name back? Does Paul Heyman really give a crap who owns the ECW trademark? When was Tyler Reks the ROH World Champion? Did Sin Cara nearly injure Dolph Ziggler? What is Mick Foley tweeting about? Where’s Wade? All this and much more, on BWF Radio, Episode number 32!
Open Call Out
Hulk Hogan puts over the Open Fight Night/Open Call Out and the Bound for Glory series tournament before moving on to A Double for his answer. (which has something to do with Plan C-check twitter for his response) Option A would have him hand over the title and challenge Roode at Destination X but if he lost he would have nothing. Option B he would decline and walk away still X Division champion and not be in the main event. And it appears Option C is where starting this year the current X Division champion will be allowed to turn in the belt for the chance at the World Title holder. Hogan is pleased. (So does that mean that if the X division champion loses he keeps the belt and if he wins we have an X division tournament for the title after the PPV? Um-okay.
Roode of course comes out and throws a tantrum saying that the X Division title is a paper championship and that he is the real world champion Austin Aries calls him out and the two battle it out. Security/Referees come out to break it up. Anderson comes down out and announces that basically when they’re done with each other Anderson will be waiting.
(more…)
We open with Mr. John Laurenitis coming to the ring. Cole says there are rumors that Vince is very satisfied w/Johnny Ace’s job. Lawler says the rumor is Vince is very unhappy w/Johnny Ace.
Vince comes out just as Johnny introduces himself. He gives the duck-walk as the crowd pops huge. Johnny offers a handshake.
“I’m not gonna shake your hand, I don’t know where that hands’ been!” – Vince McMahon
Vince wants one reason not to fire Johnny’s pencil-neck butt. Johnny responds “people power,” and botches a line-referring to RAW’s”100th” episode coming up. Johnny empowers the people, and they love him for it. Johnny lists the things he and Vince have in common, while the crowd chants “FIRE JOHNNY!”
Vince rings up Brock Lesnar and the two separate lawsuits that followed his signing (Author’s Note: CONTINUITY! Boom) Vince also brings up Johnny – true story – hiring the WRONG one legged wrestler.
Johnny puts the Brock debacle on Triple H, and Vince changes the subject. He calls resigning the Big Show a “horrible investment” that “hasn’t performed,” up to expectations “since 1998.” Johnny argues that the show will deliver at NO Way Out, and claims the entire locker room sees him as a friend.
Cue Sheamus
Vince intros Sheamus to Johnny; Johnny congratulates Sheamus on being World Champion (?) Sheamus says it sounds sincere. He says Johnny is the kind of friend who fines you half a million dollars because he can, and then begs Vince…
“On behalf of the entire WWE, kick Johnny out on his arse!” – Sheamus
(Side Note: “Fire Johnny,” trending worldwide)
Johnny is insulted, and demands Sheamus stay in the ring and wait for Johnny to send out someone to kick his ass. Vince adds that this and every match made tonight better impress him or Johnny will be fired. Johnny storms off and Vince rides Johnny’s motorized wheel chair up the ramp, and shoves it off the stage.
COMMERCIAL
We’re back with Sheamus in the ring. We recap last Smackdown showing how Del Rio suffered a concussion in his match with the great Kahli, explaining why Del Rio won’t be wrestling Sheamus at No Way Out.
SHEAMUS VS TENSAI
I’ll give you a blow by blow in my next post. Here I’ll just say it’s a quick brawl with lots of Knees, forearms, head butts, and a few high spots. They take turns overpowering each other and Tensai hits his double choke-slam finisher for a two count. Sheamus brings the Brogue-kick out of nowhere for the three-count.
WINNER: SHEAMUS
We go backstage w/Vince, Jonny, and Teddy. Vince refers to Tensai’s loss as “strike one,” and asks Johnny what his great idea is to replace Del Rio at the PPV. Vicki Guerrero enters and mentions that there are two former champions on the roster, Dolph Ziggler and Jack Swagger, who could face Sheamus in a triple threat. Vince says it’s a great idea and Johnny will take it under advisement… unless he has a better idea. Johnny passes the buck to Teddy Long. Teddy mentions there are actually four former champions on the roster – including Kahli and Christian. Teddy suggests a four way with the winner being named number one contender. Vince thinks it a great idea. Johnny says that’s just what he was gonna suggest, and sends Teddy to get some coffee. Johnny offers Vince a fist bump, but Vince refuses.
“You’ve got small hands.”- Vince McMahon
COMMERCIAL
We come back to Tensai beating the hell out of his second, Sakamoto. Sakamoto is battered and tossed all over the ringside area. I’m guessing Sakamoto won’t be coming back anytime soon.
Cole and King hype the 1000th episode coming up. We get a look back at July 13, 2009. Seth Green guest stars on RAW, teaming w/Cena and Triple H in the main event. Seth remembers the night fondly and hopes for another shot.
We go to Matt Striker interviewing R-Truth. Truth talks about how “Little Jimmy,” was traumatized by last week’s fight w/Big Show and drove him crazy with the crying all night. He tells Jimmy to “straighten up.” He gives Cena a vote of confidence at the PPV, but gets clocked out of nowhere by the Big Show.
COMMERCIAL
We’re back with a recap of the KO.
Our next match is a mixed tag team match. Santino Morella is out first, and we recap Santino beating Ricardo Rodriguez on Smackdown three weeks ago.
Back to the ring, Divas Champ Layla is out next, followed by Beth Phoenix dragging Ricardo to ringside.
SANTINO/LAYLA VS BETH PHOENIX/RICARDO RODRIGUEZ
The girls handle the serious action, but Ricardo is the star here, playing the goof role as well as Santino ever did, even going so far as to run himself into the ring-post trying to escape Santino. Beth wins with the glam-slam, and Ricardo mocks Santino. Santino rips off Ricardo’s shirt, revealing a JUSTIN BIEBER t-shirt underneath. Ricardo runs off with Santino/Layla laughing at him.
WINNERS: SANTINO/LAYLA
Backstage, David Otunga tries to weasel his way into Johnny’s spot, should he get fired. Vince shoots him down with a few choice words about brown-nosers, back-stabbers, and lawyers. Kofi comes in and gets up in Otunga’s face, wanting payback on Show. Johnny comes in saying R-Truth is hurt badly. Kofi gets in Johnny’s face demanding a fight with Show. Johnny makes it a cage match. Vince is impressed.
COMMERCIAL
“Daniel Bryan, C.M. Punk, Kane, clearly one of these superstars is not like the other, and I am the first to admit it. I am nothing like C.M. Punk and Kane. You see, C.M. Punk and Kane both have a weakness, in the form of a 95 lbs. distraction named AJ. Now in Punk’s case, it’s all about Jealousy. Punk is jealous because I proved I am a superior wrestler when I made him tap out. So now, he’s trying to get with my ex girlfriend, in an attempt to make me jealous. It’s pathetic. And Kane… thinks it’s getting to second base, when a woman looks him in the eyes, and doesn’t vomit. You see, C.M. Punk and Kane are both obsessed with a woman who, let’s face it, is still in love with Daniel Bryan.” – Daniel Bryan
“And quite frankly, how can you blame her? I mean, she had the opportunity, for a split second of her life, to be with something as great, as all of this.” –Daniel Bryan
Huge yes chant.
“Once you go Bryan, there’s no sense in tryin’.” – Daniel Bryan.
Bryan ends with a quick Q&A session, will he win the WWE title at No Way Out? YES! YES! YES!
Cue C.M. Punk.
Punk comes down the ramp and sticks up for AJ. He says AJ is actually pretty cool, and WAY out of Bryan’s league outside the ring. Inside, Bryan’s nowhere near Punk’s league. Punk sums up the Kane situation, saying its all come down to a match with everything on the line, just how he likes it.
“One of two things is gonna happen, either I’m gonna beat the deranged, out of his mind freak, or I’m gonna beat Kane.” – C.M. Punk.
Bryan says he used to respect Punk, but he changed, pandering to everybody, calling himself the voice of the voiceless…
“There’s a reason these people are voiceless, they have nothing intelligent to say.” – Daniel Bryan
Bryan calls Punk a sellout. Punk mentions Bryan’s new t-shirt. Punk says he got to the top without compromising himself, and calls Bryan a “goat-faced moron.”
The crowd responds with the Goat-Face chant.
Punk says he’ll give Bryan a wake-up call, at No Way Out, with the Go to Sleep.
Cue Kane.
Kane reminds us he’s set fire to J.R., electrocuted Shane McMahon’s testicles, and Tomb stoned a priest.
Cue AJ.
AJ gets the mike. She says she’s looked into Kane’s eyes and seen he really has a heart.
“You gotta looove crazy chicks.” – C.M. Punk.
(Side Note: Goat face trending worldwide)
She says she hasn’t gotten over Daniel, and Punk’s the coolest guy she ever met. She says she knows the best man will win at No Way Out.
Cue Johnny
Johnny, from the tron, makes a tag team match, Bryan and Kane vs. C.M. Punk… and AJ.
Recap of Vince/Johnny face off at the start
COMMERCIAL
We’re back, watching Jerry Lawler try out the new Domino’s Pizza Tracker App for the I-pod.
Yeah
Christian comes out for the four-way. Kahli comes out next. Cole and King credit him with Del Rio’s concussion, setting up this match. Vicki Guerrero introduces Dolph Ziggler and Jack Swagger next.
CHRISTIAN VS KAHLI VS DOLPH ZIGGLER VS JACK SWAGGER
Cole and King argue over who gets credit for this match – Teddy or Johnny – while Kahli dominates the match with head butts and slaps to Ziggler’s chest. Swagger clips the leg, Ziggler gets a drop kick, and Christian hits a frog splash. All three men pin/eliminate Kahli.
COMMERCIAL
We come back with Christian in control, until Ziggler gets a drop-kick. Ziggler/Swagger get in some double-teaming; until Ziggler gets tossed out. It’s Christian vs. Swagger for a few moments, with Swagger working Christian’s ankle, until Christian hits the kill-switch, and Ziggler steals the pin on Swagger.
Ziggler and Christian trade near-falls and highspots, until Christian lands on his bad ankle and Dolph hits a Zig-Zag for a three count.
WINNER: DOLPH ZIGGLER
Ziggler walks up the ramp, meeting face to face with Sheamus. They trade some jaw-jacking as we go backstage.
Nattie Neidhart reminisces with Vince about his Wrestlemania match with Brett Hart, and tries to get her whole family a spot on the show. Vince gives her the slip. The Funk-a-dactyls come up to Vince and try to get Brodus Clay back on RAW. Vince refuses, but the girls get him to dance with them.
“Somebody Call My Mama!” – Vince McMahon
Back to the ring, Ryback has two more jobbers to kill.
RYBACK VS WILLARD FILLMORE/RUTHERFORD P.S. HAYES
BEST JOBBER NAMES EVER!
Fillmore and Hayes turn the tables on Ryback by making him wait for them to get to the ring. Ryback power-bombs Rutherford a few times, while Fillmore makes a run for it. Ryback cuts him off with the clothesline and tosses him back in. He ends this with his finisher while the crowd chants “Goldberg.”
WINNER: RYBACK
COMMERCIAL
We come back to see Vinnie Mac in da back with Hornswoggle, watching his JR impression on last Friday’s Smackdown. He does one too, and sends Horny off.
Cue John Cena; Vince brings up Cenas Wrestlemania loss. Cena brings up Vince’s loss to Hogan, Shane, Brett, Vince changes the subject and asks him not to help Kofi against Big Show. Cena agrees, and urges Vince to fire Johnny Ace. Cena leaves and Otunga comes back in. Vince tells him no one likes a kiss ass, then turns to say “no offense,” to someone behind him, camera pans to Steven Regal.
STEEL CAGE MATCH: KOFI KINGSTON VS BIG SHOW
Kofi comes out and enters the cage.
COMMERCIAL
We come back to watch the Big Show come out. Cole recaps the Big Shows’ path of destruction and blames John Cena for the Shows’ attitude.
Kofi jumps show but from that point on, it’s little more than a glorified squash as Show smashes Kofi into the cage, tosses him like a ragdoll, and crushes him under foot. Show shifts his focus to glaring at the crowd and taunting them. At one point, Show tosses Kofi into the cage; Kofi springs up and goes for the top. Show charges the cage and Kofi leaps over him, following up with “trouble in paradise,” spin kick that gets Show down. Kofi goes for the door twice but gets dragged back in by the ankle. Show blocks a kick and puts Kofi out with the WMD punch.
While the ref checks to see if Kofi can continue, Show gingerly exits the cage, taking long pauses to emphasize how easily he could have left at anytime.
WINNER: BIG SHOW
In the back, Johnny smiles.
COMMERCIAL
We’re back with Sin Cara making his entrance.
SIN CARA VS CURTIS HAWKINS
Sin Cara dominates with high-flying take-downs and a spinning body press over the top to the outside. Hawkins takes over with a baseball slide out the ring, hooking Cara by the ankle and dragging him to the floor. Hawkins in control briefly, but Sin Cara hits his springing elbow, and plants Hawkins face first to the mat with his head-scissors take down.
WINNER: SIN CARA
Commercial
We come back to a rundown of the No Way Out card. Then we go back stage where Daniel Bryan is stretching. Vince comes in to ask his opinion about something. He goes into an analogy about judging a book by its cover, and Bryan buying groceries; I have no idea where he was going with it. Bryan mentions he was fired once before, then came back to prove Vince wrong. He compares himself to Vince, saying they’re both self-made success stories. Vince reminds Bryan he lost his title at Wrestlemania in 18 seconds.
“I don’t think I’ve ever finished anything in 18 seconds.” – Vince McMahon
COMMERCIAL
We come back to Dolph Ziggler’s favorite RAW memory, the very first show.
Back in the ring, we’re told Johnny invited a former RAW main event talent to compete in this next match. Heath Slater in the ring says we’ve got a current superstar right in front of our face. He starts shouting that it’s “Slater Time.”
No; “IT”S VADER TIME!”
HEATH SLATER VS VADER!
Out comes Big Van Vader! The crowd comes alive, chanting for Vader every damn minute!
“Welcome Back!”
“You Still Got It!”
“VADER BOMB!”
Slater gets in a few shots but the match is never in doubt. Vader ends it with the Splash off the second rope.
WINNER: VADER
We take a look at a recent “Be a Star,” event featuring Stephanie McMahon and David Otunga speaking to school kids against bullying.
We go to Punk/AJ getting set for their match. Punk says this will be a glorified handicap match, and tells AJ to hold back and “don’t do anything crazy.” He says their advantage is they trust each other. AJ adds they “really like each other.” AJ sneaks in a kiss before leaving.
COMMERCIAL
We’re back to see Kane make his entrance. We get a recap of Kane vs. Sheamus last Friday on Smackdown, where AJ made eyes at Kane, setting him up for a boot to the face.
Bryan comes out, followed by Punk and AJ.
C.M. PUNK/AJ VS DANIEL BRYAN/KANE
It’s a surprisingly brief match, starting off with Punk fighting Kane and Bryan. The highlight is AJ getting tagged in by accident, facing off with Kane. She seems worried at first, and then she gives Kane the smile. Then she skips-literally-SKIPS around Kane a few times, JUMPS IN HIS ARMS LIKE A GIRLFRIEND WELCOMING HIM HOME AND KISSES HIM LONG AND HARD! Kane is confused – join the club – and tags in Bryan. He leaves. AJ tags in Punk, Bryan runs right into a kick and forearm shot. Bryan goes down and Punk scores the flying elbow for a three count. After the match, Kane, Punk, and Bryan all look confused, while AJ sits Indian style in the ring, smiling at Punk.
WINNERS: C.M. PUNK/AJ
COMMERCIAL
We’re back, and Vince is heading for the ring with security in tow. Vinnie opens up pandering to the Hartford crowd and calls out Johnny.
Johnny Ace comes out. He doesn’t appreciate Vince destroying his scooter, but promises he wouldn’t think of putting his hands on Vince.
“These Security aren’t for me, they’re for you.” – Vince McMahon
Vince says the security detail will march someone right out of his business. Johnny argues the WWE universe needs him. Vince is just about ready to make his decision when the Big Show comes out.
Show admits Johnny made mistakes, but the one thing he did right was give Show an Iron Clad contract with a “no cut” clause. Show can do or say whatever he wants and if he gets fired, Vince has to pay him millions of dollars to do nothing for many years. Show says Johnny isn’t the one to blame for all this, Vince is. Show blames Vince for all the years of being part of a “dog and pony show,” and tells him he needs to worry about his golden boy, John Cena.
The music hits, and Cena comes out. Cena runs down the list of everyone Show blames for making him an “entertainer,” and how the one guy he should blame is Johnny Ace. Cena admits Show’s got everything he could want, but, he asks, what will he do if he loses? What will he do knowing that he has to show up every night and admit to everybody they were right about him?
Vince chimes in here, saying he’ll be sitting next to Johnny at No Way Out and if Show loses, Johnny is fired.
Show goes after Cena, security tries to pull them apart, but they get tossed. Cena unloads on Big Show, Johnny Ace grabs Cena. Vince grabs Ace. Big Show clocks Vince.
Johnny sends Show to the back, while Cena tries to get help for Vince; and RAW ends with a trainer calling in emergency help, for an unconscious Vince.