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RAW 1.24.11

January 24, 2011 11:17 pm 3 Comments

Hello everyone! I know I missed RAW last week, and I’m terribly sorry about that, but I’m back tonight! Who was that mysterious man who joined Nexus at the end of last week’s RAW? What wonderful news will we hear from the RAW General Manager tonight? I don’t know, but I did hear a rumor that it’s supposed to be the World Heavyweight Champion, Edge, against the WWE Champion, The Miz tonight. Champion vs Champion! Melina and Natalya are also going head to head for the Diva’s Championship!

Oh yeah! The Royal Rumble is this Sunday! Forty men are going to compete for the first time ever! Thank God I’m not covering it. You all know how I love multiple-party matches. Anyway, it’s bound to be good!

Tonight’s show is brought to you by:

You think you know me…

Damn! I don’t have any Edge pictures to use!

The World Heavyweight Champion makes his way to the ring to kick off RAW for us! He says that he doesn’t feel like waiting. He’s never liked waiting, he’s never had a lot of patience. He doesn’t like waiting at the DMV, for the guy at the supermarket to pay by check, he doesn’t like waiting for the guy in front of him at security at the airport to realize his metal belt is made of metal, and he’s sick of waiting in vain for Michael Cole to stop being a tool. So, why doesn’t the Miz just come out here now–?

“Edge, I know you’re very anxious to have your Champion vs Champion match against The Miz, but I have officially schedule that attraction for later tonight. Fortunately for you, I haven’t forgotten about your disrespect when you were a superstar on RAW. That’s why I’ve arranged a special exhibition for you right now. Whichever one of these men tosses you over the top rope will receive the advantageous position of Number 40 at this Sunday’s Royal Rumble. Ring the bell.”

Jack Swagger, Tyson Kidd, and Drew McIntyre make their way down to try to get the position. Tyson Kidd is quickly eliminated by Edge, and Drew McIntyre takes advantage. McIntyre almost gets Edge out, but Swagger breaks it up and Edge sends him over the top. Now, it’s just McIntyre and Edge, but Edge manages to eliminate McIntyre too!

Edge wins.

Edge takes the mic and thanks the anonymous RAW General Manager for getting his juices flowing. He says he’ll go to the back and get ready for his match with The Miz, but first, he wants to do something. He slowly climbs out of the ring, and says that it’s something he did last time on this show. Then, he asks who here wants to see a smashed laptop computer? The crowd cheers, King says he does, and Cole says he doesn’t. Cole gets up and tries to protect the laptop, trying to talk sense into Edge. But, Edge is a nonsensical, crazy man. Common sense doesn’t work.

Damn. The old Nexus theme is back. I miss Punk’s already.

Punk, Otunga, Harris, McGuillicutty, and the mystery man from last week make their way down to the ring. As they make their way into the ring, Edge stands by the laptop, watching them. McGuillicutty passes Punk a mic.

Punk takes it, saying that in this world, only the strong survive, and the strong survive just not from being strong, they don’t survive just from sheer will power, they survive because they evolve. Last week, it was announced that the Royal Rumble match will have forty Superstars, making it the biggest Royal Rumble match in the history of the Royal Rumble. So, as he sees his surroundings change, he adapts, because he is change. He sees the Royal Rumble expand, so the new Nexus evolves. Last week, we saw the new Nexus expand with the inclusion of the mystery Batista. He was hand-picked by Punk from Cardiff, Wales, and he is Mason Ryan. Funny how Punk’s hand-picked guy kicked him in the face.

Mason takes the mic and says he only has one thing to say: Faith.

Punk says that he doesn’t think he could have said it more eloquently. Faith. These men we see are bonded by faith, and unlike John Cena, and the faithless, fake, poor-man’s Nexus on Smackdown!, their faith, come Sunday, will be rewarded. Because they will unite for the common good, for one common goal, and that is for CM Punk to become the winner of the 2011 Royal Rumble Match. Nexus nods along, but will they stay faithful? Punk says that when he wins the 2011 Royal Rumble, he will not only go on to headline Wrestlemania, but the new Nexus will become the most powerful group the WWE has ever laid eyes on.

We are interrupted by the Corre, made of Wade Barrett, Heath Slater, Justin Gabriel, and Ezekiel Jackson. Barrett explained on Smackdown! That he is not the leader of this group; it is a group of equals.

Barrett says to clarify something: the only poor man’s Nexus is the new Nexus. The Corre is nothing like the Nexus. It’s not some brainwashing dictatorship, it’s about four equals. Zeke says at the Royal Rumble, they will try to win the match for themselves, they will unite to make sure to eliminate CM Punk. Mason Ryan jumps in front of Punk and gets in Zeke’s face (never a good idea), and the two have a stare down.

“If I’m going to give Smackdown! Superstars an open invitation to come to RAW, they will have to play by my rules. With Teddy Long unfortunately sidelined, I have the authority to make this very special match. Corre member and former Nexus leader Wade Barrett will face current Nexus leader CM Punk. Whoever loses will see himself, and his entire group, out of the Royal Rumble match. And gentlemen, one last thing: The special guest referee for this Barrett vs Punk match tonight will be someone you’re both extremely familiar with. The guest referee will be John Cena.”

So… Who’s more screwed?

@Niki_Sushi Yeah, Zeke scares me more than Beardtistacles. #BWF #RAW

@TKeep123 OMG.. Mason Ryan is the love child of Batista and Wade Barrett!!! #RAW #WWE #BWF

@JonHexLives I’ve finally figured it out. A computer program is the general manager. #WWE #RAW #BWF

@KeepItFiveStar The Corre looks weird without any shirts or armbands. And Ezekiel Jackson just looks scary.

@seraphalexiel We’re the Corre. We promote bad spelling and Heath Slater. Of course you should get behind us

@HitTheRopes Okay, shake the ropes violently, Mason Ryan. Go ahead. You know you want to. #WWE

@kickoutblog Well that worked out best: Swagger, Kidd or McIntyre as #40 would’ve been incredibly anticlimactic. #RAW

John Morrison and Mark Henry vs. Sheamus and Alberto del Rio

The match starts with Rio and Morrison starting it off. The two lock up, and Rio gets Morrison in the corner already. The ref separates them, but Rio kicks back quick, throwing Morrison face-first into the turnbuckle, and then staying on him. He drags Morrison over to his corner and tags in Sheamus. Sheamus takes advantage and starts to throw Morrison into the other turnbuckle, but Morrison fights back hard, putting Sheamus in a head scissors and then hitting him with a dropkick before Morrison kicks out of the quick cover. Sheamus fights back and then tags in Rio. Rio Whips Morrison cross the ring, but Morrison ducks his clothesline and fights back well. Morrison gets advantage over Rio, but Sheamus pulls him out of the ring as Morrison goes for Starship Pain.

@ThingsColeSays TOO MANY LIMES, TOO MANY LIMES!

@KeepItFiveStar IT’S A SHAMEFUL THING! LOBSTER HEAD!!!!!!!

@Niki_Sushi Is anyone surprised? I believe we’ve seen more of Smackdown than RAW for the past two weeks.. #BWF #RAW

@kickoutblog Sheamus & Alberto Del Rio are the greatest foreign tag team since The Iron Sheik & Nikolai Volkoff. #RAW

@TKeep123 That singlet does nothing to enhance Mark Henry’s …ummmm…. masculinity. #WWE #RAW #BWF

@Alexx_Raven: Morrison: Once you go black… You never go back.

@kickoutblog Pot O’Gold is the best suggestion I’ve seen so far for a Del Rio/Sheamus team.

We come back to Rio and Morrison in the ring, and Rio has Morrison in a headlock. Morrison fights out, but Rio drops him onto his head, and sends his knee repeatedly into Morrison’s spine. He goes into a quick cover, but Morrison kicks out at two. Rio drags Morrison to his corner, but Morrison fights his way back to the middle, only to get a sharp elbow to the spine. Rio tags in Sheamus, and Sheamus plays it to the crow-HOLY CRAP MICHAEL “SOUL EATER” TARVER IS WATCHING BACKSTAGE!

Anyway, Sheamus hits a clothesline on Morrison, and then stretches Morrison out. Sheamus gets Morrison into the middle of the ring, goes for a cover, but Morrison kicks out at two. Sheamus fights Morrison pretty hard, and then gets Morrison in another submission. Morrison struggles to fight out, hitting a swift kick before trying to gain momentum. Sheamus, however, plants Morrison, and goes for a cover, only for Morrison to kick out at two. Sheamus misses the Brogue Kick, but Morrison hits the flying Chuck. Both men are down in the middle of the ring and their partners reach for them.

Rio and Henry make their way in, and Henry drops his fist onto Rio’s head before head butting him a couple of times. Henry Whips Rio across the ring, and then bulldozes him, going for a cover. Sheamus breaks up the count, and Henry takes exception to this, sending Sheamus into the corner before he clotheslines Rio. Sheamus hits the Brogue Kick, but Morrison comes in and hits the flying Chuck again, before hitting a corkscrew move out of the ring. Rio runs in and gets Henry in the spinning armbar thing, and Henry taps.

Sheamus and Alberto del Rio win via submission.

Later on tonight, Wade Barrett and CM Punk will go one on one against one another, and the special guest referee will be none other than John Cena. And the loser? Their whole group is out of the Royal Rumble. But, up next, it’s the Diva’s Championship match!

@kickoutblog So sayeth the prophecy: “Upon his second coming, he shall watch a Mark Henry match.” #GuardYourSoul

@Niki_Sushi This just in. Soul Eater [Human Name: Michael Tarver] is back, and he’s hungry. #BWF #RAW #SucksToBeYou

@TKeep123 Sure looked like JOMO landed wrong on that knee… #WWE #RAW #BWF

Melina vs Natalya for the WWE Diva’s Championship

Random thought: How PG is it to promote a game that “You’re mom’s gonna hate it”?

Natalya and Melina lock up, and Melina shoves Natalya against the ropes before sending her right out to the floor. Melina throws Natalya back in, and slams her head against the mat. Melina keeps control over Natalya in the middle of the ring before going for the cover, only for Natalya to kick out. Melina puts Natalya in a viciously strange looking submission hold, but Natalya fights it and gets to her feet, running Melina into the corner. Natalya beats Melina up a little, and Melina kicks her in the head before Natalya drops her, and then does it again. Natalya went for that spinning clothesline, but Melina takes her down. Natalya takes a beating from Melina, but Natalya grabs Melina’s leg and lock sin the Sharpshooter, bending herself all the way over, and Melina is forced to tap out.

WWE Diva’s Champion Natalya wins via submission.

However, LayCool cuts Natalya’s victory celebration short.

McCool tells them to calm down, and says that they have good news. Layla says that in six days, Nattie’s going to lose some weight. McCool says that she’ll probably have to shop in the plus size division for the rest of her life. They’re not talking about actual body weight, they’re talking about their Diva’s Championship. Layla points out they never got their Championship rematch, and McCool says Sunday, they’re going to bring the Diva’s Championship back from being classless, to being flawless.

Still to come, the World Heavyweight Champion Edge takes on the WWE Champion, The Miz.

@Niki_Sushi That end was a credit to Melina’s flexibility, as she didn’t snap in half. #BWF #RAW

@HitTheRopes The way Melina can bend, it just leaves a lot to the imagination. #wwe

@kickoutblog (secretly hoping for Kong to interfere in this match and destroy them both… Sorry Natalya)

@KeepItFiveStar And here we go! The slap happy Melina vs. the awkward screaming Natalya!

@JonHexLives Best. Sharpshooter. Ever. #WWE #RAW #BWF

@KeepItFiveStar Shouldn’t Beth Phoenix be getting title shots? She’s actually been winning

Backstage, Otunga is stirring up more trouble, and is pointing out that if Punk loses, then they’re all screwed. Punk says that he’s sensing a lot of negative energy, and he doesn’t like it. Punk point sout that last week he made a sacrifice, to Mason Ryan, and took a kick in the face to beat John Cena. Come Sunday, Ryan will make his sacrifice, as will all of them, to sacrifice their spot to win the Royal Rumble match, to insure that he does. He says that when he wins, when he main events Wrestlemania, all of their lives change. Punk breaks off and looks at Husky. Harris says that there are forty people in the Royal Rumble match. What if Punk comes out first, and the Nexus doesn’t come until, say, 20^th, and he’s already eliminated? Ryan tells him CM Punk will not be eliminated. Punk tells them to maintain the Corre so he can beat Nexus. Punk says that he doesn’t expect Cena to LET him win, he’s going to win because he’s better. Besides, Barrett has been making Cena’s life hell. He then tells them to have faith, and then tells them to take a knee. He extends his fist, and the others do as well.

Backstage, Josh Matthews is interviewing Cena, who punches him, yet again. Matthews has to be sick of that. Matthews asks what his mindset will be for the main event, and Cena says that as an official he’s recognized for doing the same thing. He says that if Punk wins, he has faith that he will eliminate each and every member of the new Nexus. If Barrett wins, he has to deal with the Corre, and points out that it has an extra r, and it stands for –

He’s interrupted by Miz, who fakes a laugh. Miz says he can’t believe Cena’s attitude about the Royal Rumble match. Winning the Royal Rumble match could be the worst thing that has ever happened to them should they choose to face him. Did Cena not see how he gave Orton the worst beating of his life? Or the beating he’s going to give that second-rate Champion Edge? Cena asks him to try to give him the worst beating of his life. Cena points out that The Miz could lose to Randy Orton, and could lose his rematch, and they must-see their way to a shower. Miz asks Matthews if he thinks he’s going to lose, but Miz interrupts him before he can answer. Miz asks the crowd, and they answer yes. Miz asks Riley if it’s ready, and Riley says to roll the footage. Hey, G! Think you can get me a .gif of Miz and Riley laughing??

AWESOME!

WWE Champion The Miz with Alex Riley vs World Heavyweight Champion Edge

Before the match begins, Dolph Ziggler and Vickie Guerrero make their way out to the ring as well, and Dolph joins on commentary, with Vickie.

Miz and Edge, start to lock up, but Miz misses two kicks. Edge continues to deftly avoid all of Miz’ attempts, but catches Miz’ foot and gets the advantage, backing Miz into a corner. He Whips Miz across the ring and then sends his elbow into Miz’ face. He kicks Miz in the stomach, and then head butts him. Miz fights back, however, and elbows him. Once again, however, Miz misses his kick. Miz and Edge lock hands and Edge twists Miz’ arm behind his back. Miz tries to lift Edge, but can’t get him up. Edge fights back and sends Miz right over the top rope.

@RhymesWithPen Vickie Guerrero looks way better in tights than Jerry Lawler ever did

@kickoutblog I love Dolph Ziggler’s business casual + hoodie attire.

@Niki_Sushi Hey. GM. Do your damn job and chase away Smackdown. Gawd, such a failure turtle. #BWF #RAW

@kickoutblog The Miz has bigger fish to fry than John Cena anyway, he’s got a World Champion to beat.

We come back to Edge immediately going for a cover on Miz, but Miz kicks out at two. Miz gets the advantage, however, attacking the injured ribs of Edge before hitting him with a kick in the face. Miz goes for a cover, but Edge kicks out at two. Miz puts his knee in Edge’s back and then pulls him back, and I’ma punch this cameraman. I don’t care about Dolph and Vickie, thank you. Edge fights out, however, and Miz drops him right onto his back with his own hair. Miz keeps the advantage, and Whips Edge across the ring, but Edge hits a swinging neckbreaker on Miz. Miz starts to get up and Edge sets up for the Spear, but Miz rolls out of the ring first. Edge, however, follows, and Miz attacks the ribs again, before Whipping him, only to get it countered and for Miz to be sent to the barrier. Riley’s on the outside, keeping an eye on things. Edge throws Miz back into the ring. Edge climbs up to the top rope, and Miz fights him up there, going for a suplex, but Edge holds on, fighting to get Miz back to the mat. Edge gets ready, and hits a cross body on Miz, but Miz kicks out of the cover on two. Edge throws Miz into the corner, and then across the ring into the corner. Edge goes to do it again, but Riley helps Miz get out of the way. Miz gets Edge up and slams him, ribs first, into the top rope.

@RhymesWithPen The World Champion is currently wrestling the WWE Champion and all Lawler cares about is making Vickie fat jokes … #IWantWrestling

@JonHexLives Why is Alex Riley wearing Sheamus-tinted boots? #WWE #RAW #BWF

@KeepItFiveStar TWO COMMERCIAL BREAKS?! *Monocle drops* UNHEARD OF!

@kickoutblog THEY JUST WENT TO COMMERCIAL! COME ON!

Jesus, we come back to Miz going for a cover, Edge kicking out, Miz beating Edge then going for a cover, then Edge kicks out, then Miz starts beating on Edge again. Miz is doing something with the bandage for a minute there, and then wraps his legs around Edge’s ribs. Dolph needs to shut the fuck up. Edge did something and dropped Miz almost literally onto his head. Edge hits something else, but I didn’t see it. Edge is fighting back hard, and this a clothesline on Miz. Edge drops Miz, and then goes for a cover, but Miz kicks out at two. Miz drives his shoulder into Edge’s ribs repeatedly for a minute, before running across the ring, missing the swinging corner clothesline. Edge goes for a cover, but Miz kicks out at two, and Alex Riley distracts Edge. Edge climbs back into the ring, and Miz grabs him, going for a quick cover, but Edge kicks out at two. Miz Whips Edge, misses a clothesline, but manages to hit Riley with the baseball slide, before Edge drops Miz back to the mat. Edge crawls back and sets up the Spear, and I think I just heard Dolph drop the headset. I did.

WWE Champion The Miz wins via disqualification.

Ziggler grabs Edge as Edge goes for the Spear, and hits the Zig Zag on Edge. However, Orton is out next, and Ziggler attacks Orton, as well as Riley. Orton hits a vicious scoop slam on Ziggler, and Miz tries to take off, but Orton grabs him and beats him up. Miz runs into the ring, and Orton hits an RKO on Riley, then on Ziggler. Miz comes in and hits Orton in the knees with Riley’s briefcase before he grabs the WWE Championship and heads on out.

@KeepItFiveStar Oh no! It’s never a good day when Miz misses the clothesline

@Lunna1969 i love when Randy does the scoop slam! it always looks so smooth! #WWE #RAW #BWF

@kickoutblog Also, if this whole wrestling this doesn’t work out, Miz should totally sell a licorice candy called Mizzlers.

We come back to Matthews asking Barrett what the difference is between nexus and The Corre. Barrett says that when he first formed Nexus, he got too close to the WWE Championship and lost sight of his original goal, and lost the Nexus. But, every cloud has a silver lining, and he’s a member of The Corre. The Corre doesn’t have leadership issues or against John Cena being the special guest referee. Matthews says that people are pointing fingers at The Corre as being responsible for the attack on Teddy Long. Barrett stops him and says that he wishes Long a speedy recovery. Their goal for today is to make sure that Punk and Nexus are out of the Royal Rumble. As for Cena, Barrett hopes that Cena can respect him as he respects Cena.

United States Champion Daniel Bryan and the Bella Twins vs Ted DiBiase, Maryse, and Alicia Fox

Bryan and DiBiase are going to start it out, and Bryan fights out of DiBiase’s headlock quickly, and Bryan sends DiBiase to the mat. As the men are getting ready to work, Maryse tags herself in, and one of the Bellas and Maryse starts out. Bella 1 sends Maryse to the mat, and Bella 2 distracts Bella 1 from the whole thing, and Maryse takes advantage with a quick pinfall.

Ted DiBiase, Alicia Fox and Maryse win via pinfall.

The Bellas are fighting, and Daniel doesn’t look like he knows what the fuck to do. Get used to it, Bryan.

Still to come, Punk v Barrett.

@KeepItFiveStar Ted DiBiase, Maryse and Knuckles from Sonic The Hedgehog vs Darling Nikki, that other twin and Daniel Bryan!

@HitTheRopes Wow, two matches involving Divas on one Raw. #Shocked

@Niki_Sushi Aaaaaaaaand there goes the good mood. Nastiness Personified vs Sexy People. Sigh. #BWF #RAW

At the Royal Rumble, Randy Orton and The Miz will go head to head for the WWE Championship! Dolph Ziggler and Edge will duke it out for the World Heavyweight Championship! LayCool will meet Natalya for the WWE Diva’s Championship, and it is a first-ever Forty Man Royal Rumble Match!

Backstage, the Bellas are fighting each other about who is better for Bryan, or whatever is important to them. Tarver watches them argue for a moment before he walks away, and both are ridiculously unaware of how lucky they are to have not gotten their souls stolen. However, They enter Daniel Bryan’s locker room to see him and Gail Kim kissing. Haha, you whores. Bryan says that he and Gail have been dating for six months. Gail says that with no guest stars around they have nothing to do. Gail gets up in their faces and slaps one, and then is sent in the corner by the other one. Referees have to break them apart, because Gail is gonna break her heel off in their asses.

The new Nexus, without Punk, makes their way to the ring.

@HitTheRopes Michael Tarver continues to pop up in random spots. #wwe

@Niki_Sushi So. Gail kinda just went up about 100% on the ‘DAMN’ meter, ya think? Such a shame that she has bad taste in men. #BWF #RAW

@divadirt “Because there’s no guest stars around, you guys really have nothing to do?” says Gail re. the Bellas. Oh snap! #WWE

@seraphalexiel IF THIS MEANS GAIL KIM WRESTLING, THEN I FORGIVE THAT LAST MATCH

@HitTheRopes Holy hell, something for Gail Kim, yay! #wwe

@KeepItFiveStar OHHHH SHIT! GAIL KIM WITH THE SHOOT COMMENT

This Sunday, Edge and Randy Orton will come together as a tag team once again to take on The Miz and Dolph Ziggler!

Michael McGuillicutty and Husky Harris with Mason Ryan and David Otunga vs WWE Tag Team Champions Vladimir Kozlov and Santino Marella with Tamina

McGuillicutty and Kozlov start things off with McGuillicutty losing his mind all over Kozlov. Kozlov fights back, however, and tags in Marella, who drops McGuillicutty to the mat and puts him in a headlock. McGuillicutty fights out of it, however, and sends Santino into the corner. Santino tries to jump up on McGuillicutty, who isn’t there, and McGuillicutty takes advantage, sending Santino to his corner. Harris is tagged in and stops on Santino before picking him up and dropping him real fucking fast. Harris goes for a quick pinfall, but Santino kicks out at two. Harris keeps him in the middle of the ring in a headlock, and then Santino flips Harris over him. Harris takes exception to this, and drops Santino, before going for a cover, but Santino kicks out. Santino continues to take abuse from Harris, who has him in a headlock in the middle of the ring. Santino fights to his feet, and both men are down. Santino manages to make it over to Kozlov, but before he can tag, Harris sends Kozlov off the apron. Santino starts to get momentum, and avoids his moves. He starts to flip Harris, but instead hits Harris’ knee. Santino sets up the Cobra, and McGuillicutty starts to get in, distracting Santino, while Harris takes advantage. Harris hits some kind of harsh-looking move and pins Santino for the win.

Michael McGuillicutty and Husky Harris win via pinfall.

Otunga takes the mic and asks for a hand for the new Nexus, but gets boos. He says that he wants everybody to give a warm welcome to the man who has sacrificed so much for them, a man who they will sacrifice for this Sunday and help propel to victory at the 2011 Royal Rumble match. Ladies and gentlemen, please put your hands together for their leader, CM Punk. As CM Punk makes his way to the ring, Cena is backstage and is handed a referee shirt. He tosses his dog tags to the guy that gave him the shirt and makes his way to the ring.

@kickoutblog Michael Tarver should’ve handed John Cena his ref shirtt.

@TKeep123 All HAIL…..SANTINO !!!! Can Nexus handle The Cobra? #WWE #RAW #BWF

@KeepItFiveStar Wow. That belt has sucked out all of Tamina’s muscle. And for those keeping count, she’s wearing shoes.

CM Punk with New Nexus vs Wade Barrett with the Corre with Special Guest Referee John Cena

Haven’t done this in a while, so:

BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR SCRAP YER POO!!!

Wait, where’s the ref shirt he was just handed? Oh, it’s under. Okay.

Cena, before the match is even started, sends the New Nexus backstage and away from ringside. The Corre is clapping, but that shit won’t last. Punk looks greatly upset. Cena seems to be distracted by the Cena chants, and sends The Corre backstage next. Told ya so.

Cena finally calls for the damn bell… and then steps between them, and shoves Punk backwards. Punk goes to attack him, and points out that he’s the ref. Then, he slaps Barrett, and points out he’s the ref. So, Punk attacks Barrett instead. Cena stands across the ring and just stands there so that Punk can attack Barrett as he wants. Punk sends Barrett out of the ring and gets in Cena’s face and yells at him, but Cena doesn’t seem fazed. He then sends Punk over the top rope, and Punk runs in, pissed, but stops himself before he hits Cena. Barrett, however, comes back in and attacks Punk, hitting a hard sidewalk slam. Cena then ignores the cover and goes out to the side and signs a few autographs, pretending that he forgot there was a match going on. Punk and Barrett are trying to wrestle, and knock each other down. Cena calls for the bell.

Cena then says that both teams are disqualified for excessive use of profanity on a PG show, and neither team is going to the Royal Rumble. And then Cena laughs. And Punk and Barrett are pissed.

“What we have just witnessed was a blatant abuse of power. Now, I can’t change the referee’s decision of this double disqualification, but I can change the consequences. Therefore, CM Punk, Wade Barrett, and their respective teams, will all compete in the Royal Rumble match Sunday. And in addition, if John Cena does not go into the ring and apologize to both Wade Barrett and CM Punk, right now, John Cena, you will be the one out of the Royal Rumble match.”

Cena’s pissed about this, and Punk and Barrett like this way too damn much. Cena pulls off his ref shirt and walks back to the ring. He slides in and stands between the two of them. He apologizes to Punk, then to Barrett, and then attacks them both. And then The Corre makes their way back down to the ring before the New Nexus follows. Cena watches both teams, but the teams seem more weary of each other than they do Cena. McGuillicutty stars to attack, and then Big Show, Bryan, Morrison, Tatsu, Henry, Kozlov, Marella, and some other people, I’m sure, start coming out. Oh, there’s Truth too.

Anyway, there’s RAW for ya. Decent build up for the Royal Rumble, though I think everyone was busier talking about Gail Kim and Daniel Bryan. Anyway, hope you all enjoy your week.

RAW 1.10.11

January 10, 2011 11:27 pm 3 Comments

Hello everyone! Terribly sorry about my absence the last two weeks, but things were crazy. Huge thank you to G for taking over the RAW review when my brother came in, and sorry about no RAW review being up last week. Turns out, the boss man, ThinkSoJoE, is having some computer problems, so no one was able to cover. BUT THAT’S OKAY! We’re here now! Or, at least, I am.

Tonight, Punk takes over as leader of the Nexus, and John Cena’s going to confront him for the first time since Punk showed interest two weeks ago! And I’ve been hearing rumors about a Hall of Fame nomination!

Strangely enough, we start out Monday Night RAW with a tag team title match! … No opening promo?!

WWE Tag Team Champions Santino Marella and Vladimir Kozlov with Tamina vs ??? for the WWE Tag Team Championship

Before their opponents can even be announced, Nexus comes out and demolishes the tag team championships. Tamina is nowhere to be seen, and Punk enters the ring rather calmly, watching the chaos. Nexus clears the ring of the champs, thus answering my question about an opening promo. Turns out we’re gonna get one.

Punk says that he’s sorry and I notice he’s wearing black and yellow shoes. He says that the tag team title match is rescheduled for a later date. Ever since Nexus has made its impact on RAW, it’s been the most dominant force the WWE has ever seen. And, as scary as it sounds, they are even stronger now. He tells Nexus that each and every single one of them has the ability and chance to shine brighter than any other Superstar in history. He can give them the chance to succeed, and says that Barrett consistently failed at setting any kind of example. Two weeks ago, Punk single-handedly put Cena out of the equation. That’s right, their hero in all of his broken down hero will appear tonight. Cena will, he’s hoping, deliver a tear-jerking encore farewell speech tonight. Cena’s days of Hustle, Loyalty, and Respect are over, while Punk’s are just beginning. And then, the coup de gras later tonight, in an act of selfless leadership, Punk will make the ultimate sacrifice when he initiates himself the new leader of the new Nexus. But, he’s getting ahead of himself. His won’t be the only initiation tonight. Each one of the Nexus must prove to themselves, the group, to Punk, to these ‘worthless people’ that they have what it takes to belong in the new Nexus. If they all pass, the Nexus will be at the apex of their power, and they will not only take over RAW, but the WWE entirely.

Otunga takes the mic, damn it, and Otunga says that he speaks for all of Nexus and they would be honored to be initiated into the new Nexus tonight. Punk says that the honor will all be his. Punk starts with McGuillicutty, and says that he’s up first. He knows, Punk knows, the people knows, that Nexus is famous for these group attacks. They’ve beaten down Hall of Famers, the Chairman, and John Cena too. McGuillicutty’s initiation is to be on the receiving end of a beat down. Husky’s name is called and he’s told to start it. Husky looks at McG for a minute, Otunga takes the initiative and starts it, dropping him. Slater asks what the hell he just did, and Punk goads Slater into action. Husky looks at him again, and then drops himself onto McGuillicutty. Husky and Otunga move McGuillicutty to the corner, and Punk leads Gabriel up to the corner, where the Axe Murderer of Nexus Gabriel stands up and hits the 450 Splash. Punk kneels in front of McGuillicutty, and Nexus puts him on Punk’s shoulders, and Punk finishes it off with the Go to Sleep. Punk leaves, and Nexus carries the unmoving McGuillicutty off.

@Niki_Sushi ‘It wasn’t your turn! >:O’ ‘YOU TOOK TOO LONG!’ #BWF #RAW

@HitTheRopes David Otunga speaks for no one. Not even for himself. We all know, J-Hudson speaks for him.

@kickoutblog CM Punk is the only one with the right to wear pants though.

@StrikerSays Is The Nexus going to be CM Punk’s new SES? Are they all going to shave their heads?

@CMPunkSays Screw your tag team titles, it’s NEXUS TIME! #WWE

@Lunna1969 Isn’t that how gangs do their initiations? #WWE #RAW #BWF

@JonHexLives Nexus CM Punk shirts! #WWE #RAW #BWF

DAMN IT! R-TRUTH IS BACK!

R-Truth vs Alberto del Rio

If del Rio honks that horn one more time, I’m bitch slapping his face off.

Truth goes for del Rio, but del Rio moves, and Truth chases him, throwing him into a corner and then yelling WHAT’S UP at the crowd. Del Rio is sick of Truth’s shit and gets the momentum before going for a cover, but Truth kicks out at two. Is it just me, or does the arena look smoky? Anyway, del Rio Whips Truth, then misses a clothesline. Truth counters with a head scissors and then clothesline. Truth runs back at del Rio, and clotheslines him out of the ring, sending them both to the floor. The ref starts a count, and it takes a few minutes before either man moves. Del Rio attacks Truth, who attacks back. But, Ricardo Rodriguez starts yelling at Truth, and Truth gets counted out thanks to that.

Alberto del Rio wins via count out.

Del Rio takes the mic and says that’s another victory for him! But we already know that. We also know that his destiny is to win the Royal Rumble, and headline Wrestlemania. Okay, he knows that’s a different story, because tonight they’re in Nashville! The music city? Oh, you silly, silly, Americans. You don’t know anything about music. You don’t know anything about culture. Oh, del Rio, these people will kill you outside the arena. All they know is about their Justin Biebers, Idols, hip-hop, and that horrible and boring country music. This is a bad place to diss country music… In Mexico, they know about music. They know about culture. He says to allow a man with many attributes to show them real music, mariachi music! He motions to Ricardo and asks him to sing. Ricardo says that he can’t sing, probably thanks to that hit he just took to the face, and del Rio asks nicely. Ricardo takes the mic and sings La Cucaracha. Which I learned in Spanish. He’s really not that great at it, but I can’t blame him.

Two weeks ago, Punk gave Cena a Go to Sleep, and tonight, Cena is going to confront him. Holy crap, Ricardo is jamming. Tonight, we have to watch yet another John Morrison and King Sheamus match. Goodie. Why am I always covering RAW when people who can’t sing try to? Anyone remember Mark Henry rapping?

@KeepItFiveStar “And I haven’t even started yet!” You have started! You’ve been doin this shitty song for like 5 years!

@Niki_Sushi DAMMIT! Just when I thought I escaped it! Truth, how bout you go to TNA too? CAROLINA CONNECTION! :B #BWF #RAW

@kickoutblog Okay, if Del Rio starts winning every match by count-out, he’s going to become the world’s greatest asshole.

@typicalROHfan CAN DEL RIO RUN OVER R TRUTH WITH HIS CAR?

@JonHexLives I’m hoping Alberto Del Rio does at least one promo where he warms up like Ramses from NACHO LIBRE. #WWE #RAW #BWF

Jerry says that he’d be lying if he said he was fully recovered. Cole says that Randy will be sorely disappointed when he can’t take the WWE Championship from The Miz. Cole tells Jerry to apologize, but we have an email.

“Recently, Michael Cole has been on the receiving end of a lot of criticism. However, I support Michael Cole in every conceivable way. Even though, he’s a conceited, pompous, arrogant, self-centered, pretentious jerk. Okay, just kidding. The reality is that Michael Cole has done a phenomenal job and is the epitome of manhood. I wish we had more people like him, with the guts to stand up against popular opinion. Michael is an award winning journalist, a two-time Slammy award winner. He is witty, highly intelligent, and not to mention, handsome. Ladies and gentlemen, the highest honor one can achieve is to refer to themselves as a Cole Miner!”

Jerry finally interrupts, and my dinner stays in my stomach. Jerry says that he’s just received a message from the entire WWE Universe, and he quotes: “Will you please SHUT UP?” Really, Cole, nobody in their right mind would ever even think, say, or much less type, that Cole is handsome. What he really is is a coward. Cole says that Jerry can’t touch him or he’ll be ordered, but Jerry slams the laptop shut.

Cole says it still works.

“I assure you that Michael Cole is not a coward. And King, neither are you. That’s why I know that even though your body hasn’t fully recovered, you can’t wait to exact revenge. Therefore, tonight, WWE Champion The Miz and Alex Riley will take on the team of Jerry “The King” Lawler, and Randy Orton.”

Punk is backstage and says that McGuillicutty’s in and passed with flying colors. Husky’s next. His initiation, if he chooses to accept, is in his left hand. He will willingly, without reprisal, take three lashes from everybody, with… a strap? A belt? Something. Husky says he accepts. Punk tells him to take the shirt off. Husky takes the shirt off, and Otunga starts. Justin’s next, and doesn’t seem as anxious as Otunga was. Slater comes up, and seems more discontent with the belt than with Husky. Punk tells them to get Husky up and hold his arms. Then, Punk delivers eight quick snaps with the belt.

@RhymesWithPen CM Punk is treating Nexus like a frat, but lets be serious, no frat would ever allow Heath Slater to be a brother …

@KeepItFiveStar This is payback for the last week’s RAW/Smackdown with all that wrestling

@Niki_Sushi I have officially gotten to the point that until I see Cole, I literally can NOT hear him. I’ve blocked him out. #BWF #RAW

@kickoutblog Just when you thought it couldn’t get creepier than the opening segment, New Nexus turns to S&M

@jaded_prinz Ugh Raw has now turned into mini Bondage bear porn featuring a submissive Husky Harris lol

@dasharpshooters I guess Husky couldn’t remember the safe word. #wwe #raw

United States Champion Daniel Bryan and Mark Henry with The Bella Twins vs Ted DiBiase and Tyson Kidd with Maryse

Bryan and DiBiase start out the match with Bryan dominating. However, Bryan gets distracted and goes to take Kidd out of the match, but DiBiase throws him out of the ring. Kidd sneaks in a hit real quick and then DiBiase brings Bryan back in. DiBiase tags in Kidd, who keeps Bryan in the corner. Kidd distracts the ref, and DiBiase chokes Bryan. Kidd tags in DiBiase, and DiBiase gets Bryan in the center of the ring with a headlock. Bryan fights out and bounces off the ropes, hitting a hard clothesline on DiBiase. Bryan tags in Henry, and DiBiase tags in Kidd. Kidd runs face first into a clothesline, and then is head butted to the ground. Twice. Kidd crawls away and Henry runs toward him in the corner, but Kidd dives over and tags DiBiase in. They hit a double dropkick, but Ted is hit by a clothesline and Kidd is hit by Bryan. Then, Henry hits the World’s Strongest Slam for the win.

Mark Henry and the United States Champion win via pinfall.

Later tonight, WWE Champion The Miz and Alex Riley will take on Jerry “The King” Lawler (again) and Randy Orton. We have The Big Show here tonight and we find out why next.

@kickoutblog No Jackson Andrews with Tyson Kidd, I’m sure that tells you all you need to know about his WWE future.

@TheMizMagnet: GODDAMN IT! JERRY! STOP FIGHTING MIZ! I HATE THESE MATCHES! *storms off* #BWF
@TKeep123 This whole RAW is from a bad parallel world.

@Niki_Sushi I’m not going to be happy with the Diva’s division until A) Bellas are fired for being stupid or B) Awesome Kong comes n eats them #BWF #RAW

@HitTheRopes A couple years ago Mark Henry would have been ALL over them twins. #wwe

@KeepItFiveStar Mark Henry continues to be a threat for the Royal Rumble

On NXT, that guy with the giant nose was eliminated, and Dolph Ziggler said that he was terrible, and basically sucked. Not like anyone cares about NXT.

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeell, it’s a big show!

Between Alberto del Rio and The Big Show, we have been invaded by Smackdown. Awesome. And Show just wiggled his ass. I’m so sorry to that guy in the front row.

Show says thank you very much, and it’s great to be back on RAWR…er… RAW. He is here to discuss some issues. Number one is Wade Barrett. He finds it funny that last week Barrett is knocked out of Nexus, and this coming up Smackdown, he wants to knock Barrett out! Number two, the Royal Rumble. He’s letting every superstar know that they’re on notice. The Big Show is coming to the Royal Rumble and he’s not playing games, go on and main event Wrestlemania-

We walk alone…

Punk, Gabriel, Slater, and Otunga make their way out to the stage, and Punk looks at Otunga, as do the rest of Nexus. Otunga makes his way down to the ring, and this is apparently his initiation. He looks back at Punk, who merely stares at him, and then makes his way into the ring.

Show holds up a finger, and Otunga pushes it down and smacks Show’s ear. Show looks at him, and Otunga looks like he’s just offering himself up for a smack, but then Show kicks him and then throws him out of the ring. Show follows Otunga and chucks him over the announce table. Punk rips his shirt (DAMN IT!), and then delivers that massive slap on the announce table. Show yells at him, and then drops him right on the floor. Show slams Otunga into the steel steps, and then shoves him into the ring. He then choke slams Otunga. Show then delivers the knockout punch to Otunga. Punk, Slater, and Gabriel don’t move, except to raise their fists up. I guess Otunga passed.

Later, Cena will address Punk, and next up, John Morrison will take on King Sheamus.

@seraphalexiel I think you can get arrested for this type of hazing

@kickoutblog Seriously, if someone told me I could take 25 lashes from a leather belt or a 25% punch from Big Show, I’d ask for 50 lashes.

@KeepItFiveStar And now the WWE, and Jack Link’s present: Messin With Sasquatch

@RobMcNichol If Henry is Sexual Chocolate, Bryan Danielson must be Erotic Marshmallow.

John Morrison vs King Sheamus

Sheamus gets a good start in this match, but Morrison fights back, only to eat Sheamus’ knee with his stomach. Sheamus stomps on Morrison, and then continues to methodically pick Morrison apart before bouncing him off his knee. Sheamus goes for a cover, but Morrison kicks out at two. Sheamus puts his foot in Morrison’s throat and then steps off, dominating Morrison. Morrison tries to fight back, but Sheamus puts a stop to that with his elbow in Morrison’s face. Sheamus goes for a cover, but Morrison kicks out. Sheamus puts Morrison into a vicious looking hold that my brain refuses to give me a name for, but Morrison fights out, climbing up to his feet only to take a hit from Sheamus. Sheamus goes to knee Morrison in the stomach again, but Morrison goes for a cover. Morrison kicks out and picks up speed, getting the momentum. He this a heel kick to the jaw before Sheamus crawls into the corner. Sheamus, however, has none of that, and Morrison ends up on his stomach before kicking him again. Morrison plants his feet in Sheamus’ face, and then pulls himself up with a very on-PG pelvic thrust, but Sheamus shoves him out of the ring instead of facing up against Starship Pain.

Nobody tweeted anything that I could really use here, so here’s a picture for your entertainment.

We come back to Sheamus dominating Morrison again, but Morrison fights out of the headlock. He goes to Whip Sheamus, but Sheamus drops him onto his back and goes for the cover, only for Morrison to kick out at two. Sheamus holds Morrison’s head off the apron, and drops hard elbows onto Morrison before letting him roll back into the ring and going for another cover. Morrison kicks out at two again, and Sheamus puts him in another submission. Morrison fights to his feet, and then out of the hold, fighting back against Sheamus with quick punches and kicks. Morrison pulls Sheamus out of the corner, and then goes for the flash kick, but Sheamus ducks it. Sheamus runs across the ring at Morrison, but Morrison pulls down the top rope and sends Sheamus out. Morrison then jumps out of the ring, attempting a suicide dive, but Sheamus plants his knees into Morrison’s ribs. Sheamus then plants Morrison onto the steel steps, ribs-first, and rolls him into the ring. Sheamus gets ready to use the Brogue kick, but Morrison fell onto his ass, and Sheamus just kicks him in the back. Sheamus then puts Morrison on the top of the turnbuckle and climbs up after him, because this always ends well, , but Morrison drops onto the steps and puts Sheamus’ face into the steel post before hitting something I missed and winning.

John Morrison wins via pinfall.

Now we’re reminded of McGuillicutty’s initiation into Nexus, then Husky’s initiation, and then Otunga’s demise at the hands of The Big Show.

Punk is holding onto two Singapore canes, and says that Otunga did well and is in. Punk says that Slater and Gabriel’s initiations… He’s not going to beat them with the kendo sticks, my bad, and Punk says that they’re going to beat each other with the kendo sticks until he tells them to stop. Punk says he’s serious, and neither one looks like they want to do it, and this is going to be an EPIC LIGHTSABER DUEL! Neither one moves to do anything, and Punk just watches like, “you fucking babies” before he stops them. Punk says that if they’re not in, they’re out. He expects home runs from all his soldiers, so swing for the fences. Slater and Gabriel look at the frustrated Punk, weapons in hand, and Punk asks them if they’re going to hit him, then tells them to do it. They both drop the Kendo sticks, and then walk out of the locker room.

@TKeep123 Please…PLEASE hit Punk with those sticks! Get some balls! #WWE #RAW #BWF

@HitTheRopes It’s a light sabers duel. #StarWarsMeetsWWE

@Niki_Sushi Awwww! I’m so proud of Justin! Punk kinda looked like he was gonna eat their faces, though. #RUNFORTHEHILLS #BWF #RAW

@stephensonmc @JustinG_Nexus twirled his kendo stick like he was Obi-Wan #Raw

@YourBoyDrew So is anyone else convinced CM Punk runs a BDSM dungeon somewhere?

The first inductee into the Hall of Fame class of 2011 is about to be announced!

Jerry Lawler is in the ring and says that the greatest accomplishment of his career was being inducted into the Hall of Fame. So many individuals, even in childhood, dream of competing in the ring, and less that 100 of them have been inducted into the Hall of Fame. Hall of Famers share qualities like skill, drive, determination, charisma, and the respect of the WWE Universe, and the inductee he’s about to name, has earned the respect of the WWE Universe. He deserves, more than any other, to be a first ballot nominee. And it is the Heart Break Kid Shawn Michaels.

I think I’m cute… I know I’m sexy…

Holy shit, Shawn is there. I hate them right now. But it’s a personal thing. Just ignore me now.

Shawn takes the mic and motions for silence, but a one more match chant start-

Del Rio walks out, obviously not even caring. HE says his name is Alberto del Rio, and Shawn stares at him. Del Rio says that we already know that, and he, he is Shawn Michaels, the Heart Break Kid, the Legend, the Icon, the Showstopper. These people used to cheer Shawn. An HBK chant starts. Del Rio says but now, they cheer him. Which is greeted by a giant boo. It’s simple, del Rio says, that he’s the present and the future of the WWE. And Shawn is just history. After del Rio wins the Royal Rumble match, he’s going to win the Heavyweight or the WWE title, and after that, he will be known as the New Mr. Wrestlemania. And Shawn says nothing, just gives him a good dose of Sweet Chin Music. He then pockets his microphone like a gun, and makes sure his shoe isn’t scuffed up. Shawn then takes the scarf and dances his way back up the stage.

@FrankWWEClown Congratulations to @ShawnMichaels_ Can’t wait to be there live to see one of my childhood heros get inducted. #HBK #WWE #RAW

@Lunna1969 Omg I’m actually crying cause I’m so happy! Congrats @ShawnMichaels_

@TKeep123 HBK into the #WWE Hall of Fame! Works for me! Well deserved! #WWE #RAW #BWF

@CMPunkSays I am grinning my face off. #HBK #WWE

@Niki_Sushi I just joygasm’d right here. Very few people have done everything Shawn did and incited the same love and adoration he has. #ThankYouShawn

@Niki_Sushi Shawn, keep that scarf. You’ll need it for the weather down there. #BWF #RAW

@HitTheRopes Shawn Michaels didn’t plan on going hunting but he just bagged himself a wild Del Rio.

@KeepItFiveStar Alberto Del Rio and his scarf just got Sweet Chin Music! That’s unfair. The scarf had nothing to do with this!

@TKeep123 Is there anyone that doesn’t see Sweet Chin Music in ADR’s future? #WWE #RAW #BWF

@Saiyavenger Sweet Chin Music. Still epic in ways even complex flippy-dippy finishers only wish they could be.

@RingsideRants ADR had time to shower and put a suit on after his match, but Otunga couldn’t even change his shirt?

Riley is excited about Lawler and Orton being in the ring at the same time, but Miz doesn’t seem excited, and asks what’s wrong with Miz. Miz says that in two week’s time, he’s attacked a Hall of Famer and defended his title in a match that people should be talking about. But no, people are talking about Randy Orton. People are saying that it’s a fact that Randy will win The Miz’ championship at the Royal Rumble. NO matter what he does, people won’t give him the respect that he has earned. Tonight, in their match, he doesn’t just want to beat them, he wants to demoralize, embarrass, and hurt them, so they can show the world that the only fact is that he’s going to be the WWE Champion for a very, very long time. Alex starts to say his catchphrase, but Miz stops him and says that catchphrases are for closers, and he won’t’ say it until after he finishes Randy Orton tonight

Cole is in the ring and says that they are about to be joined by John Cena. Two weeks ago, John Cena was assaulted by the new Nexus and their soon-to-be new leader, CM Punk. Punk interrupts from on top of the tron, which is pretty badass. Punk says that they are through talking about John Cena, and this is the CM Punk show now. What he wants to talk about is the new Nexus. What tonight has shown is that McGuillicutty, Harris, and Otunga have proven themselves strong enough to be in the new Nexus. They sacrificed themselves through their initiations, and now he is prepared to do the same. His initiation will be the ultimate sacrifice, and it is his hope and dream that through his sacrifice, it will prove that not only was he a member of Nexus, but he was their leader. Should he dive off this tro- Jesus Christ Nashville wants death. Fucking hell. Punk asks if he should break every bone in his body, rupture every muscle, and Matthews says no. So do I. Punk spreads his arms, and pauses. He says there’s one question he needs to ask: How gullible are all of you people? He’s wearing a bright yellow harness. He has two guys spotting him. He’s safer there than anyone in their seats. He then says what kind of an idiot jumps off the tron? Consider themselves initiated, Nashville, they are all the biggest, mindless, group of sheep – JERICHO! – he has ever seen in his entire life. The injured, but members, of Nexus make their way out to the ring, short Gabriel and Slater.

Punk is in the ring now and says that if anyone watching actually thought he was going to jump off the tron, they are stupid. He takes off his shirt, and says that as we can see, he’s wearing a safety harness, and then says that someone who would consider doing such a rash thing, is mentally challenged (still hating on Jeff Hardy! =D), and he is mentally superior. There’s never been a thought in his mind to jump off the tron, he doesn’t need their approval or initiations, and he is the leader of the new Nexus. Punk says that Cena is no longer there. He got rid of Cena.

Cena’s voice comes and Cena says that he’s there, on that big screen you were gonna jump off of. Cena proceeds to insult him and that kind of thing, and says that he is wasting everyone’s time. Why would he bother to give the new Nexus a physical imitation? He’s already given them one. He said he would get his hands on each and every member of the Nexus, and he di-wait. There’s a new member he hasn’t managed to initiate, and that’s CM Sucks. Punk says he’s not afraid of John, and he will not stand in his ring on his show and be intimidated by John. John says prove it. Next week, CM Sucks faces John Cena in a match. Punk says that he accepts. Cena says he was hoping that Punk would. All those things Punk has been saying about Punk, they’re right. If you provoke him, he’s the most animalistic, brutal, violent, physical man on the planet. That means, next week, Punk gets dealt with. As sure as Cena wears purple and the sun rises in the morning, Punk gets dealt with. Next week, it’s not about t-shirts and armbands, it’s about him whooping Punk’s ass.

Up next, the WWE Champion The Miz and Alex Riley will take on Jerry “The King” Lawler and Randy Orton.

@Niki_Sushi What kind of idiot jumps off the Tron?! Me: Jeff Hardy? #BWF #RAW

@KeepItFiveStar “What kind of an idiot jumps off the tron?!” Jeff Hardy

@kickoutblog Punk is gonna Shane-O-Mac it up there.

@CMPunkSays I really wish John Cena wouldn’t bury the best thing in the WWE. That’s just… it’s just wrong.

@ThingsColeSays “CM Sucks” has to stop.

@kickoutblog John Cena’s been watching George Carlin.

@JonHexLives It’s like indie Punk has come back. #WWE #RAW #BWF

AWESOME!

The WWE Champion The Miz and Alex Riley vs Jerry “The King” Lawler and Randy Orton

Alex Riley and Jerry Lawler start the match, and Lawler goes for Miz, who jumps off the edge of the ring. Riley takes advantage and knocks Lawler down. Riley tags Miz in and Miz knocks Lawler across the ring. Lawler gets Miz down on the mat and begins to pound him. Miz runs out of the ring, but Lawler follows closely. Lawler then bounces Miz’ head off the announce table before sending him into the apron, and then into the steel steps. Miz rolls into the ring off a punch in the face, and then Miz sends his elbow into Lawler’s face and tags in Riley. Lawler sends Riley to the ground and tags in Orton. Riley backs away from Orton who follows, upper cutting him in the corner. The ref has to forcibly remove Orton from Riley, and Orton goes back, Whipping Riley across the ring, only to get a kick to the stomach. Miz is tagged in and hit with a clothesline before Orton stomps on Miz’ face once, then again. Orton then stomps on his stomach and steps on him, tagging in Lawler. Lawler gets Miz to his feet and punches Miz to his knees, twice, three times. King proceeds to unload on Miz in the corner, the referee having to force Lawler off. Miz retaliates with a kick to the face, and then goes over Lawler and punches him repeatedly, having to be forced off by the ref. Miz then sends Lawler to the mat before putting him in a headlock. Lawler fights up to his feet, but gets a knee to the midsection for his troubles. Miz then hits his swinging corner clothesline, sending Lawler face first into the mat.

@KeepItFiveStar C’mon Randy Orton. How you gonna wipe your mouth before coming out to wrestle? Didn’t wash your hands or anything.

We come back to Riley dominating over Lawler, and Riley runs shoulder first into the turnbuckle as Lawler rolls over, and nearly goes to tag in Miz. Riley runs to Lawler, and gets punched in the face for his troubles. Lawler reaches for Orton, but Riley tries to get Miz. Riley manages to tag Miz in, and Lawler technically tags in Orton, but Orton never saw it. Miz sets up the Skull Crushing Finale, but Orton gets in and manages to hit the RKO. Lawler goes for the cover as Orton hides behind the apron, and Riley breaks it up. Riley makes Miz tag him in, but Lawler manages to tag in Orton. Orton hits the scoop slam, and then the back breaker on Riley, all the while, keeping an eye on Miz too. Riley rolls under the ropes, but Orton grabs him and hits that DDT. He then hits the mat and sets up for the RKO. Miz tries to sneak in, but Orton sees him, and Miz slips back out. Riley stands up and tries for something, but Orton hits the RKO. Orton keeps his focus on Miz. Orton moves back and tags in Lawler while Orton stares at Miz. Lawler then drops his right hand on Riley for the win.

Randy Orton and Jerry “The King” Lawler win via pinfall.

Next week, CM Punk and John Cena will finally face off!!

Tonight’s RAW was made up for by the fact that del Rio got Sweet Chin Music’d by Shawn Michaels. And… I wasn’t fond of the main event, but I’m starting to get sick of Jerry wrestling. It’s a personal thing, I suppose. Anyway. We’ll see what happens next week! Later!

RAW 12.20.10

December 21, 2010 9:16 am 5 Comments

Hello everyone! Sorry this is up late, but I had a headache last night, and my throat hurt… Not that I need to tell you wall that. Anyway! Make sure to check out this link: http://boredwrestlingfan.com/2010/12/14/raw-tweeter-year-contest/ and vote for who you think deserves to be RAW Tweeter of the Year!! You have until December 31^st to cast your votes. Now, if your name isn’t there, don’t be upset. These are just the people who I mentioned repeatedly in the review because of their tweets. Use the #BWF hash tag (just like that) on Twitter and maybe you can get mentioned! We’ll see what happens for next year, but let’s finish up this year first.

Anyway, last night was Tables, Ladders, and Chairs! Who walked out victorious with the WWE Championship? Did John Cena defeat Nexus leader Wade Barrett? Did I eat those cookies…? I didn’t eat the cookies. I remember now.

AWESOME!

We start out with WWE Champion The Miz coming out all by his lonesome! Where’s Alex Riley?! And no Michael Cole?! Thank God!! RAW’s starting out amazing!!

Miz says that he is STILL the WWE Champion. We better get used to hearing ‘and still WWE Champion, The Miz’. Doesn’t it have a nice ring to it? He knows it’s tough for everyone to digest. They were all expecting an announcement of “the NEW WWE Champion, Randy Orton”, but that didn’t happen, now did it? The Miz beat Randy Orton, put him through a table and now… Miz is interrupted by some ghostly music and Alex Riley comes out.

Riley says that he is the Ghost of Christmas Past. He’s here to show Miz the error of his ways before it is too late. Behold, his first ever WWE Title Defense, which was, of course, against Jerry “The King” Lawler, three weeks ago. Miz says the error of his ways? He’s actually proud of what he did. He beat a WWE Hall of Famer and made sure that he will never be WWE Champion. He doesn’t regret that moment, and he doesn’t regret any actions he’s ever done in the past. He starts to go on, but is interrupted again by Cole, dressed up as the Ghost of Christmas Present.

Cole says “And I Quote…” Miz needs to change. His actions from last night, in the tables match vs. Randy Orton were, although vintage, unacceptable. He retained his championship through nefarious means, and he should be ashamed. Miz says no, that’s where Cole’s wrong. The actions of a true champion are defined by one sentence and one sentence only: Are they still WWE Champion after the match? And yes, he was. That is all that matters. Randy Orton underestimated Miz, and Miz beat him. So, here’s an image to put on your Christmas cards: Happy Holidays from The Miz!

Miz is interrupted again, but this time by a still image of Angry Miz girl, who tells Miz that she is the Ghost of Christmas Future, and she is very angry.

Miz needs to see the light and change his ways, or the new Number One Contender, John Morrison, will beat him. Miz says that he is the future. He is the face of this company, the most must-see champion in WWE history. Charles Dickens himself couldn’t write a better story, because he’s The Miz, and he’s AWESOME!

Now listen, this ain’t no make believe…

John Morrison makes his way out, and ruins CM Punk’s night. He says he’s surprised. That was really stupid, even for Miz. But, Morrison’s actually happy for his success, because last night, he beat Sheamus. He climbed a ladder, grabbed a contract, and he’s the new Number One Contender. That means that sometime soon, they will fight for that title. And Morrison has news for Miz: He’s beat him in the past, in the present, and he knows he can beat him in the future. And when he does, he will become the new WWE Champion. Miz asks really? And has kind of a really-off with the audience. Miz says he’s always been better than Morrison, and Morrison couldn’t… Before Miz can continue, Riley jumps in front of him, between Miz and Morrison, and shoves Morrison. Miz exits the ring and Morrison goes after Riley. While he’s pummeling away on Riley, King Sheamus runs down the ramp and decides he’s going to join in the fun! He attacks Morrison, but misses, and Morrison unloads on Sheamus. Riley gets out of the ring as Sheamus attacks Morrison’s injured leg. Riley moved over to King, for some reason, and King punches him right in the face. Miz walks up the ramp.

And I Quote: “Miz, tonight, you will collide with your ghosts from the past, present, and future, in a six-man tag team match. You, Alex Riley, and King Sheamus vs. John Morrison, Jerry Lawler, and Randy Orton.”

Miz is up on the stage now, holding up his championship and yelling about how he’s the champion, when he turns to go backstage, and Randy comes out. Orton clotheslines Miz to the ground,

Coming up later, John Cena will address the WWE Universe.

@Niki_Sushi Miz, you need to change and fall in love with me so we can get married and have butt-babies. #WhatColeIsSaying #BWF #RAW

@kickoutblog When was the last time John Morrison showered?

@kellylynndobson Backwards Bizarro set!!! This is not good. #RAW #BWF

@FrankWWEClown Did someone put drugs into my dinner tonight? Or am I really witnessing what I am watching on #RAW right now? #WWE

@Lunna1969 My 8 year old Niece just groaned and said that she wished CM Punk would read the GM messages! #RAW #WWE #BWF

Later on tonight, the WWE Champion The Miz, Alex Riley, and King Sheamus will face off against the team of John Morrison, Randy Orton, and Jerry “The King” Lawler. The Diva’s Champion, Natalya joins Punk, King, and Cole ringside.

Melina vs Alicia Fox vs Eve Torres to determine the Number One Contender for the WWE Diva’s Championship

Natalya says that she’s feeling quite dreamy sitting next to King, and then ends up telling him to settle his tea kettle.

The match starts out, and Alicia Fox goes to town on both Eve Torres and Melina. She switches back and forth between Eve and Melina for a while, throwing Eve out of the ring and concentrating on Melina. Melina starts to fight back against Alicia, and then fends off Eve too. All of them go for quick pins on one another, but none of them get further than two. Then Melina gets Eve on the top turnbuckle. Alicia grabs Melina onto her shoulders and holds her there, and then Eve goes to hit a flying cross body on the both of them, but Melina ducks under it, bringing Alicia with her, for a quick pin.

Melina wins via pinfall.

Natalya says it was impressive, and goes to congratulate her. Punk tells her to waffle Melina upside the head, and Natalya ignores him. She gets in the ring and goes to shake Melina’s hand, but Melina slaps the taste out of Natalya’s mouth and then walks out, her serious face on.

Nikki and Brie are arguing over Daniel Bryan, over which one is going to win his affections or something. I have no idea, but it’s nasty. Anyway, up next, Daniel Bryan has a match!

@kickoutblog “These Divas are so hot.” CM Punk channeling Jerry Lawler circa 1999?

@HitTheRopes Why isn’t Gail Kim involved in this match?

@JonHexLives CM Punk: Small package. There’s a joke in there somewhere. #WWE #RAW #BWF

@KeepItFiveStar Oh shit! Melina heel turn! Follow her lead Heel Nikki! Follow her lead!

@Niki_Sushi As sick as I am of Melina being the only one getting title shots, it’s better than the Bellas getting a shot. #BWF #RAW

@kellylynndobson What did the five fingers say to the face……. SLAP! #BWF

It’s WWE week on USA! Tonight, technically, Smackdown will be live on USA at 9/8 Central, and WWE Tribute to the Troops is on Wednesday night! Also, Nexus probably won’t be here tonight. Crying shame, that.

United States Daniel Bryan with the Bella Twins vs. William Regal

I marked out when I saw that his opponent was Regal. I adore Regal.

Regal and Bryan lock up as Punk, King, and Cole try to figure out why Regal’s smiling. Regal automatically throws Bryan to the ground, but Bryan jumps back on his feet and throws Regal down instead. Regal bounces back up to his feet, and then shakes his finger at Bryan, which makes me laugh. Regal drops Bryan to the ground, holding onto his arm, and then when Bryan gets up, Regal’s not letting go. Bryan rolls over to get his arm untwisted, and then goes into this bridge thing for no reason, and then hits a dropkick on Regal. They lock up again, and Bryan twists Regal’s arm this time. Regal gets loose and proceeds to kick Bryan’s spine with the toe of his boot. It apparently pisses Bryan off, because he shoots to his feet and punches Regal, then kicks him hard in the back repeatedly. Bryan gets Regal in the corner and continues to kick him. Bryan goes to whip Regal across the ring, but Regal counters and whips Bryan across. Bryan runs up the ropes and flips over Regal, and then bounces off the ropes and right into Regal’s clothesline. Regal goes for a quick pin, but Bryan kicks out at two. Regal holds Bryan in a rather vicious looking headlock, but Bryan fights to his feet. He lifts Regal out of the air and goes to drop him, but Regal takes him down with him. Regal keeps the headlock applied, and Bryan fights to his feet, but Regal drops him back on the mat. Regal finally lets go and punches Bryan in the head a few times, then goes for a cover, but Bryan kicks out at two. Regal puts his knees in Bryan’s face, then hurls him across the ring. Bryan bounces off the turnbuckle and then slams right into another clothesline from Regal. Regal goes for a cover, but Bryan kicks out at two. Regal then puts Bryan in a full nelson, holding him there as Bryan tries to fight out. Bryan fights to his feet and then slams his ass against Regal, or at least that’s what it looks like. Regal and Bryan exchange uppercuts for a while, and then Bryan gets the momentum, only to get punched in the stomach by Regal. Regal goes for another uppercut, but Bryan catches him, going for a backslide. Regal fights out of it, and then hits Bryan in the back of the head. Regal now sets up for the Regal Stretch, but Bryan fights out of it and locks in the LaBell Lock, which Regal fights hard, for the win.

United States Champion Daniel Bryan wins via submission.

Regal applauds Bryan, and then the Bellas get in the ring and kiss Bryan. Bryan looks confused, and I would be too.

Still to come, the WWE Champion The Miz teams up with Alex Riley and King Sheamus to take on John Morrison, Randy Orton, and Jerry “The King” Lawler!

@Niki_Sushi Ugh. Fucking Daniel. All we need is ‘What’s up?’ and… shit, I dunno. OMGREGAL! Guess I’ll watch the match now. xD #BWF #RAW

@HitTheRopes Please give this match time #WWE

@KeepItFiveStar Please WWE, don’t make this 3 minutes long

@TKeep123 William Regal is making a Daniel Bryon match almost watchable! Alas, the Labell lock wins out. #WWE #RAW #BWF

@5CornersxSmootx #RAW #BWF Hide your kids, hide your wife, and call your friends because William Regal and Daniel Bryan is going on. IWC just creamed.

We come back to John Morrison preparing for this match backstage. Randy Orton joins him and says that it looks like Morrison’s the new Number One Contender. Morrison says that the match last night was bogus. Orton says that if Morrison wins the Championship match against Miz, he’s going after Morrison. Morrison says if that happens, he’ll be ready. He trusts Randy will be ready. Randy says that’s his first mistake: Do not trust him.

We flash to Santino laying on a towel, and Tamina standing on his back, apparently trying to work out some kink or something. He asks if she knows what she’s doing, and she says not really. Maryse walks up and says that it’s cute, ugly takes care of ugly. It’s good to know after she and Ted beat them tonight, Tamina has a plan B. Tamina calls her cupcake, and Maryse stands on Santino’s back too. The two get in each other’s faces, but security carries them off, leaving Santino face down on the floor.

Mark Henry and Gail Kim are backstage talking about how the air is much fresher because for the first time in six months, the Nexus isn’t on RAW. They continue to talk, but then are interrupted by Vickie Guerrero, who barks out an ‘excuse me!’ with Dolph Ziggler in tow. Henry says he takes that back: The air is not as fresh as he thought it was.

@KeepItFiveStar They finally found Tamina some shoes.

@Niki_Sushi Dude. It’s Christmas, not fucking Valentine’s Day. Stop humping each other and WRESTLE!!! #BWF #RAW

@5CornersxSmootx #RAW #BWF What a terrible response from Morrison. “Well uh, alright…..I’ll be ready.”

@HitTheRopes Creative meeting note: “How about we put Gail Kim in a match for #1 Contender for Diva Title…nah, a segment with Mark Henry is better.”

Santino Marella and Tamina vs Ted DiBiase and Maryse

Santino walks out, all bent over. When they get to the ring, Tamina lifts Santino, cracking his back or something, and making it all better. Santino looks like he’s going to hug her, but seems to remember that he has a match to participate in. Santino and DiBiase start out, locking up. Santino makes the Cobra with his hand, and then drops DiBiase to the ground. DiBiase retaliates by punching Santino in the face. DiBiase controls the match for a while, hitting a standing dropkick right to Santino’s chin. DiBiase gets Santino in a headlock and holds him there, Santino reaching and grabbing for the ropes. Santino fights to his feet and manages to duck the clothesline from DiBiase, and then hits a hip toss on DiBiase. DiBiase rolls over to the corner, tagging Maryse in as Santino sets up for the Cobra. Maryse stands behind Santino until he turns around, and Santino forcibly stops himself from hitting the Cobra on her, saying ‘It’s a girl’. While he fights it, Maryse turns it around on him and he hits himself with the Cobra. Tamina then comes in and super kicks Maryse right in the face. She drags her to a corner, pulls her pigtails out, and then climbs up to the top rope. She’s about to jump off, when Ted goes to get her, but Santino goes to hit the Cobra, only for Ted to send him to the mat. Tamina hits the Superfly Splash for the win.

Tamina and Santino Marella win via pinfall.

Tamina glomps Santino, for that was exactly what that was, and Santino seems to have back problems again. Then again, after taking that chair from Barrett last night and the beat down from Nexus, I’d have back problems too. Tamina then carries a celebrating Santino up the ramp.

Backstage, John Cena makes his way to the ring, regifting some flowers and then drinking someone else’s coffee, I think.

@KeepItFiveStar Tamina used health. Santino restored to 100 HP

@Niki_Sushi …. Did Tamina just Sweet Chin Music Maryse?! THAT’S COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT! #BWF #RAW

@HitTheRopes Tamina is wondering: How the heck did @TheBethPhoenix carry Santino around? Dude is NOT light.

@5CornersxSmootx #RAW #BWF WHY IS JOHN CENA STEALING FLOWERS AND DRINKING OTHER PEOPLE’S COFFEE? #HideYourFlowersHideYourCoffee #IhatePG

BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR MISTLETOE!!!

Cena says that they’re extra fired up tonight, and he knows why. Because tonight is epic, monumental. He feels good about tonight, he’s gonna do something he should have done a long time ago. He hugs the guy in the We Hate Cena guy, who looks ashamed. Cena says that tonight, for the first time in six months, Monday Night RAW is Nexus-free!! It makes him wanna dance, so he does the dougie. He even says that they hit rock bottom. He says it makes him wanna sing. So, he sings to make Texas happy, of course. He says that he’s so happy to be there that he has a treat. He’s commandeered some footage from last night’s TLC. It Is the footage describing the demise of Wade Barrett.

Cena plays it again, from another camera angle. Then again, from another camera angle, and yet again in slow motion. Punk is still aghast over this, by the way, and continues to call Cena a monster. Cena says that he feels good when he gets a bargain, especially close to the holiday season. Six months ago, he promised he would get to each and every member of the Nexus, and it took some time, but last night at TLC, he got to each and every member of the Nexus. That means the winds have finally changed for Barrett and his group of turd burglars, and he can now focus on the more important things, like winning the Royal Rumble and going to Wrestlemania.

Then, it’s all ruined by Vickie’s screeching. I MEAN, asking them to excuse her.

She and Intercontinental champion Dolph Ziggler come out. Vickie says pardon the interruption, but no one hears her over the crowd. Pardon the interruption, but John wasn’t the only one who won a match last night. Cena says that there’s so much hatred in the air, he can’t hear her. Every time she goes to talk now, the crowd won’t let her speak. John’s dying as they completely swallow whatever she’s trying to say. She continues to screech, and he continues to laugh. Cena tells them to give her the floor, but they won’t do it. Cena finally has to stand right in front of her to hear her, and finally tells everyone that she said he wasn’t the only one who won last night. Vickie continues, and says that despite competing in a Triple Threat match, Dolph is still Intercontinental Champion. And since Cena can show footage, Vickie can show her own footage.

Vickie says that she has come to demand an apology, and if King doesn’t give her one, her boyfriend is going to beat him up. Jerry asks if it was about her weight. HE can’t help it if she’s the only Diva in the WWE whose bathtub has stretch marks. Cena says that Vickie is so fat she wakes up in sections. Jerry responds with when God said ‘let there be light’, he had to ask Vickie to step out of the way first. John responds with ‘Vickie’s so fat, her baby pictures had to be taken via satellite.” Dolph defends Vickie, and Cena stops Dolph, and says that Dolph called Vickie a double bagger, meaning Dolph has to put a bag over his head in case the one over her head breaks. Dolph used to be afraid of the dark, but then he saw Vickie naked, and was afraid of the light. It’s about here that Vickie slaps Cena.

And I Quote: “Since Vickie Guerrero is threatening that her boyfriend, Dolph Ziggler, will beat people up, let’s try it in a match tonight. Dolph Ziggler vs. John Cena. And that match will take place right now.”

@KeepItFiveStar “If You Can’t See Me, GivE Me A Hell Yeah” If they can’t see you, how are they gonna know to give the hell yeah? Worst sign ever

@kickoutblog JOHN CENA IS BACK… from not leaving!

@HitTheRopes I’m wondering if Cena handled getting dumped the same way he handled being fired. #wwe

@Niki_Sushi All I want for Christmas is my Hunter back… is that too much to ask for?! Enough! GIMME A KILLER! #BWF #RAW

@TKeep123 Vickie, give it up, it’s only a 2 hour show! #WWE #RAW #BWF

@KeepItFiveStar Boy Jerry Lawler’s all over this RAW tonight

@kickoutblog Ziggler vs. Cena = good. Vickie fat jokes when she’s no longer fat = lame.

@5CornersxSmootx #RAW #BWF King is all “Why u mad tho!?” and Punk is facepalming at the table.

Intercontinental Champion Dolph Ziggler vs John Cena

Ziggler and Cena circle one another before locking up, and Ziggler wraps his arms around Cena and takes Cena down. Ziggler goes for an early pin, but Cena gets out before Ziggler can even keep his shoulders down. Cena and Ziggler lock up again, and Cena gets Ziggler in a headlock, but Ziggler gets to the ropes. Cena backs off and watches Ziggler. Ziggler holds his hand up and Cena goes to grab it, but Ziggler kicks him in the stomach and then attacks Cena in the corner. Ziggler keeps his momentum, whipping Cena across the ring, but Cena counters and then hits the running bulldog on Ziggler, who rolls under the ropes. Cena catches Ziggler’s foot that time, kicking Ziggler before hitting a fisherman suplex and going for the cover. Ziggler kicks out, but Cena flings him across the ring, only to run right into the turnbuckle himself. Ziggler gets up and attacks Cena. Ziggler whips Cena across the ring, and Cena bounces off the turnbuckle. Ziggler goes for a cover, but Cena kicks out. Ziggler then this some hard kicks out Cena before punching him right in the face. He does it again, knocking Cena down, and goes for a cover, but Cena kicks out. Ziggler kicks Cena hard, but Cena drops Ziggler. Cena goes for a cover, but Ziggler kicks out at two. Cena whips Ziggler, who bounces off the ropes and kicks Cena before going for a cover, but Cena kicks out at two. Ziggler locks in a hold of some kind, but Cena fights to his feet. Cena then worms his way up and puts Ziggler up for the Attitude Adjustment, but Ziggler counters by dropping Cena face-first to the mat and then going for the cover, but Cena kicks out at two.

@KeepItFiveStar Oh boy Dolph Ziggler is gonna job out like the guards did to Austin Power’s Dad in Goldmember.

@CMPunkSays If the #WWE ran Twitter, the Fail Whale would be replaced by the Failure Turtle.

@Niki_Sushi WWE made a bad move by having their money-maker act like a 10 year old bully. The guys may love it, but Mom’s gonna be pissed. #BWF #RAW

We come back to Cena gaining momentum, side slamming Ziggler to the mat. Ziggler and Cena then take each other out with clotheslines. The ref begins the count, and both men reach their feet, Ziggler first. Ziggler then drops Cena back to the ground, going for a cover, but Cena kicks out at two. Ziggler hits a dropkick to the jaw and goes for a cover, but Cena kicks out at two. Ziggler went for another dropkick, but Cena avoids it. Cena then comes back with a couple shoulder take downs and sets up for the Five Knuckle Shuffle, which he hits. Ziggler gets to his feet, and Cena gets Ziggler on his shoulders. Ziggler fights out and then tries for the sleeper, but Cena counters and locks in the STF. Vickie stands on the edge, distracting the ref, as Ziggler taps out. Cena starts to celebrate when he realizes that the ref never saw it. Ziggler hits the Zig Zag, but Cena kicks out of the following cover at two. Ziggler then undoes the cover on the turnbuckle, and the ref gets him away from it. Ziggler grabs the Intercontinental Championship and goes to hit Cena with it, but Cena ducks it and hits the Attitude Adjustment for the win.

John Cena wins via pinfall.

Cena gets his arm raised in victory, and then CM Punk gets in the ring and beats Cena with a chair. Punk then calmly walks away as Cena stands up and glares after Punk.

Coming up, the six man tag team match.

@KeepItFiveStar C’mon Ziggler! First you do the Fame-asser, then you do a cocky pin?

@TKeep123 Poor Dolph…having to defend Vickie’s honor! Could be a long night! #WWE #RAW #BWF

@Niki_Sushi On the off-chance Nexus IS gone, I hope people realize the members still have contracts… #BWF #RAW

@FrankWWEClown I’M MARKING OUT. I’M MARKING OUT. I’m a Cena fan, but I can’t stop marking out!!! My hometown boy @CMPunk just made a statement! #WWE

@dasharpshooters Never mess with a man and his Diet Soda Cena. CM PUNK IS BACK IN ACTION! #wwe #raw

@StrikerSays I’m expecting him to turn green and lose all his clothes except for his purple shorts.

@HitTheRopes CM Punk has just made a bunch of folks happy and even more pissed off. #WIN

@ThingsColeSays The Feud That Diet Soda Built: CM Punk vs. John Cena

@kickoutblog Kick my cat, I kill your dog. Spill my diet soda, I hit you with a steel chair. #PhilosophyofPunk

Moments ago, Josh Matthews asked CM Punk why he attacked Cena. Punk responded with the only thing Cena understands is aggression. Last night, he brutalized Barrett with a steel chair, and tonight, Punk just gave him a dose of his own medicine.

Backstage, King’s getting ready for his match and is met by Sheamus. Sheamus says that he sees King still carries around his old crown. Unlike King, Sheamus earned his crown. As far as Sheamus is concerned, there’s only room for one king around here. They’ve been calling King King since 1974. Sheamus says to spare him the history lesson, because as far as tonight is concerned, the King is dead. Long live the King.

Vickie says that she went out there looking for an apology, and Dolph didn’t get her one. Dolph responds that he’s challenging Cena to a rematch tomorrow night. Vickie says that it’s going to be a handicapped match: John Cena vs. Dolph Ziggler and her.

AWESOME!

Alex Riley and the WWE Champion The Miz make their way to the ring for their tag team match.

@Niki_Sushi For all that talk about keeping yourself healthy… why isn’t CM Punk wearing a seat belt? #BWF #RAW

@kickoutblog Vickie is gonna kick Cena’s ass.

@KeepItFiveStar Dolph, last time you did this, Daniel Bryan beat you three times.

@TKeep123 “FELLA” in Lawler’s face…. “…I actually eRRRRNed this crown!” King vs King tonight! Hey, wheres the King of Kings? #WWE #RAW #BWF

WWE Champion The Miz, Alex Riley, and King Sheamus vs John Morrison, Jerry “The King” Lawler, and Randy Orton

The match starts out with Alex Riley and Randy Orton. Orton doesn’t seem happy that Miz tagged in Riley right away, and he takes his rage out on Riley. Orton drags Riley into the middle of the ring and jumps on him, his knees hitting his face. Orton tags in Morrison, who hits Riley and sends him into the corner. Morrison whips him into the other corner and then slams into him. Riley is in Morrison’s corner, but tries to fight out. Lawler is tagged in and fights against Riley before hitting a dropkick on Riley. Riley fights back, slamming Lawler into his corner. Riley tags Miz in and Lawler knocks Miz right off his feet. Lawler tags in Orton, and Miz flees the ring, running in and tagging Sheamus in. Sheamus looks like he’s not completely sure what the hell just happened, but climbs in the ring anyway.

@kickoutblog Miz should be using The Roots version of his theme.

@Niki_Sushi Yes, Miz is awesome. Just because you’re screaming it into the mic doesn’t mean he’s going to be waiting in your hotel room, Cole. #BWF #RAW

@CMPunkSays You know what’s sad? Alex Riley has gained more notoriety than the guy who actually WON Season 2 of NXT.

@TKeep123 One last time to see Jerry “drop the strap”……. I”m hopeful! #RAW #WWE #BWF

We come back to Lawler being the one in the ring against Sheamus. Sheamus distracts the ref and Riley gets in a cheap shot. Sheamus goes for a cover, but Lawler kicks out at two. Sheamus gets Lawler in an armbar, I believe, and holds him there. Lawler fights to his feet and is met with a knee to this midsection by Sheamus. Sheamus runs at Lawler, who moves last second and sends Sheamus shoulder first into the turnbuckle. Morrison comes in off the tag, and starts to get a good momentum, but seems to hurt his already-injured leg and Sheamus tries to take advantage. Morrison hits his flying chuck, and goes to set up Starship Pain, but Riley distracts him. He gets up to do it again, but Sheamus knocks him down, bouncing his head off the mat. Miz comes in off the tag from Sheamus and immediately attacks the injured leg of Morrison. He slams Morrison down on his knee, tagging Sheamus back in. Sheamus locks himself around Morrison’s leg, applying pressure, before planting his knees into Morrison’s. Morrison manages to swing Sheamus around, and Sheamus tags in Riley, who prevents Morrison from reaching his teammates. Riley continues to go after the injured leg, slamming it against the mat. Riley gets Morrison in the corner and delivers some hard hits. Riley tries to get Morrison into his corner and finally gets him off the rope to do so. Riley tags in Miz, who continues on the injured leg. Miz goes to jump on Morrison’s leg again, but Morrison kicks Miz out of the ring. Miz runs back in and stops Morrison before he can tag in a teammate. Miz tags in Sheamus, who goes right back to the injured leg. Sheamus delivers hard forearms to Morrison’s chest before going to the cover, but Morrison kicks out at two. Sheamus gets Morrison in a hold using his leg, but Morrison uses his good leg to get out of it. Sheamus is having none of it, however, and drops his elbow onto Morrison’s spine. Sheamus mocks Morrison as he reaches for his teammates before dropping Morrison to the mat.

Breaking up that huge wall of text, Sheamus gets Morrison in a half Boston crab, and Morrison tries to drag Sheamus to his corner. Lawler distracts the ref, and Orton runs in, hitting Sheamus to get him to let go of Morrison. Sheamus recovers quickly, however, and attacks Morrison. Sheamus tags in Miz, and Miz misses at stopping Morrison, and Morrison tags in Orton. Orton this a quick flurry of attacks before hitting the scoop slam. Then, he pulls Miz into the ring and this the DDT. He goes for a cover, but Sheamus comes in and breaks up the pin. Morrison takes Sheamus out over the top rope, and Orton drops to his knees. Miz has his back to Orton, but Riley comes in, taking the RKO meant for Miz. Miz puts his boot in Orton’s face, and Orton is tagged by Lawler. Lawler takes down the strap, and Miz goes for the Skull Crushing Finale, but Orton comes in and hits the RKO, leaving Lawler to pin The Miz.

Randy Orton, John Morrison, and Jerry “The King” Lawler win via pinfall.

And I Quote: “The television show, Smackdown, will be live tomorrow night at 9/8 central here on the USA Network from San Antonio, Texas. In addition to all the Smackdown superstars, RAW’s contribution will be a handicapped match. As we heard earlier tonight, it’ll be Dolph Ziggler and Vickie Guerrero vs John Cena. Also, just added to tomorrow night’s event, the WWE Champion, The Miz, will take on Randy Orton, live on Smackdown.”

Miz comes in and attacks Lawler from behind. Orton goes to set Miz up for the powerbomb, but Riley interferes and Miz flees again. Randy flat out calls Miz a son of a bitch, by the way. I heard it clear just now.

Anywho. Next Monday, I may not be watching RAW. My brother, who has been in the Army for the past few months, is going to be here for Christmas, so I may be spending time with him. I should be able to let you know by Monday.

Don’t forget to vote for the RAW Tweeter of the Year!!! I’ll see you all later!!

RAW 12.6.10

December 6, 2010 11:24 pm 10 Comments

It’s been a couple weeks since I last made a review, and I’d like to thank the boss man himself, ThinkSoJoE for covering the past two weeks for me! Now, next week is a special three-hour RAW (Jeez, these things are popping up everywhere! Old School, then King of the Ring, and now this!) that is dedicated to the Slammy Awards! But, we’re not there yet!

Tonight on Monday Night RAW, Randy Orton returns to the ring, Michael Cole must answer for his actions last week during the TLC match between Jerry “The King” Lawler and WWE Champion The Miz, and there’s supposed to be a Fatal Four Way match for the WWE Tag Team Championships?! Only way this can get better is if Jerry Lawler knocks Michael Cole out again!

Jerry Lawler and CM Punk are sitting together without Michael Cole!! The crowd chants for him, and Punk says that he thinks Lawler would have done it if it hadn’t been for Michael Cole.

Cole interrupts and comes out from the stage with a mic. He says that it is with the deepest remorse that he comes out tonight to try to explain his actions last week. He’s been wrestling with it all week long, and he doesn’t know why he did what he did. These people don’t understand how traumatic last week was for him. The hate mail that he received, how could everyone write those hurtful things about him? But, the one thing he won’t’ do is apologize for the way he feels about the Miz, because when The Miz started in this company, Cole was the only one who supported him. And when The Miz won the WWE Championship, it was like his own son had won the championship. So, Jerry, last week, when all this was going on in the ring, and Miz was down, and Jerry was climbing… Cole got caught up in the emotion of the moment. Jerry, because of that, that’s what he deeply regrets.

King picks up a mic and says that he really expected Cole to apologize, because Cole cost him the WWE Championship. Cole says he regrets his actions last week and asks if King has ever made a mistake, and says he made a mistake. King says that it may be a mistake, but he may have to go up there and finish what he started last week. He stands up, but Cole tells him to wait. Punk says he’s not going to stop King. Cole says they should talk about this like adults. The way he just acted, it rang a bell in Cole’s head. Cole believes the way that King just acted, King is as much to blame for last week as Cole is. Cole and King are supposed to report on the news, not make it. Last week, King made the news, King was the headline. King had to be Jerry “The King” Lawler one more time. He had to steal the spotlight, he couldn’t let The Miz have his one moment. King had to steal it from him. So, the more Cole thinks about this, he doesn’t think he owes King an apology. He thinks King owes him an apology. King says he’s going to come and give Cole what he thinks he owes Cole.

<YOU’VE GOT MAIL>

Punk says that he’ll handle it, since Cole’s scared to get out of the ring. Punk steps up to the podium and tells everyone hello. He says he’s always wanted to do it, then mocks Cole, much to everyone’s amusement.

“I am ordering a cease and desist on any physicality between Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler. Violation of this order will result in termination. What I would like right now is for Jerry to get in the ring and shake hands with Michael.”

Jerry starts toward the ring, and Punk says this isn’t worth King’s job. King gets in the ring, and shakes Cole’s hand. Cole walks away, but Jerry didn’t let go. King says no physicality. But, he thinks there’s someone in the back who may want to say something to him.

I hear voices in my head…

Randy walks out, Cole tries to leave again, but Lawler holds him there. Lawler finally lets Cole’s hand go, but keeps him in the ring anyway. Randy stands there, and Cole goes to leave, but Lawler makes him stay.

Orton says that he wants Cole to send a message to The Miz: Randy doesn’t blame him for cashing in when he did, because if the roles were reversed, he would have done the exact same thing. As a matter of fact, Randy and The Miz are a lot alike. The only difference is that Randy has proven that he has the ability to back up what he says in the ring. So, Cole, keep rooting for the Miz, Randy doesn’t care, because injured knee or not, he’s going to take back the WWE Championship from The Miz tonight.

AWESOME!

The Miz and Alex Riley walk out, with Lawler still keeping Cole in the ring, and Miz says that Randy used to be so original, so willing to stand on his own, but now he sounds like everyone else who is underestimating Miz. This past summer, they were both in the same Money in the Bank match. The only difference is Miz won and Randy lost. Now, Randy’s left standing there in the middle of that ring with nothing more than tough talk and an injured knee. Well, Miz stands on that stage, the new WWE Champion, and as far as Randy winning back his title tonight, yeeeah, that’s not gonna happen. Because, the RAW Gm already informed him that he successfully defended his title last week, he doesn’t have to defend it again until TLC in two weeks, against Randy. T he good news is that Randy’s knee is going to be all better, but it doesn’t make a difference, because Randy’s going to lose again. Randy says that it’s a great plan, but where are the seven guys who are going to beat him down before he faces him. Randy tells him not to look at Alex, because Riley doesn’t count as one. Riley says that that’s pretty funny coming from a guy on one leg. And even though The Miz doesn’t have to lower himself by facing Randy, Alex has five minutes to kill, and he’d like to challenge Randy Orton to a match. Randy says he doesn’t know what it is Alex just said, but he accepts. Miz says there’s one more thing Miz has to tell Randy, and that’s the stipulation for TLC. So, he’s going to think long and hard, because his decision is going to be just like him: Awesome. Randy says he’s looking forward to Miz’s decision, and for anyone out there who thinks he may be too injured to compete, there is one thing, injured knee or not, that he can still do very well. He then RKOs Michael Cole.

@kickoutblog Is CM Punk wearing a Charles Manson shirt? Brilliant. Take any concerns over last week’s wardrobe and crank it up to 11.

@JCenadotcom The announce table without Michael Cole? My God! You can tell Christmas is near. 🙂

@RingsideRants I will mark out so hard if Jim Ross comes out to announce tonight. #Raw

@WWEUniverse COLE SLAW, courtesy of @RandyOrton! #WWE

@Niki_Sushi Ah, Jerry. You’re a sneaky one, arentcha? RKO to the FACE! x3 #BWF #RAW

@Lunna1969 OMG!!! STFU COLE!!! #WWE #RAW #BWF

@TKeep123 Probably the biggest “YOU SUCK!” chant I’ve heard in many years…and all well deserved for… Michael Cole! #RAW #WWE #BWF

They play the video replay back, and Punk says that Cole tripped on his clown shoes right into an RKO. During the commercial, referees and staff had to help Michael Cole out of the ring. Josh Matthews joins Jerry Lawler and CM Punk ringside for commentary.

Ted DiBiase and Maryse vs United States Champion Daniel Bryan and Brie or Nikki Bella

Before the match one of the Bellas is already on Daniel’s arm, and the other one isn’t happy about it. But no one cares, because Maryse is in the ring.

DiBiase and Bryan start up, locking up for DiBiase to push him away. The other Bella heads down to the ring, and DiBiase keeps control of Daniel. Punk hopes another Maryse comes down, and so do I. Bryan gets control over DiBiase now, and Matthews calls Punk Miz. In the ring, the Divas are in, and Brie, I guess, gets advantage over Maryse, who goes for a cover, but Maryse kicks out. Maryse fights back, dropping Brie hard. Maryse seems to have hurt herself, and yells at DiBiase, then at Brie. She goes for a clothesline, but misses, only for Brie to go for a cover. DiBiase breaks it up, and Nikki switches while Maryse yells at Bryan, who is distracting the ref. Nikki goes for a small package and gets it for the win. Shit match, gonna be honest.

United States Champion Daniel Bryan and Nikki Bella win via pinfall.

Brie and Nikki seem to be working together again, and in the ring, Maryse and DiBiase fight, but Maryse puts her hand in his face, and walks away. He glares after her.

Coming up, Gabriel and Slater take on the Usos, Kozlov and Marella, and Henry and Tatsu for the WWE Tag Team Championships, and an exclusive interview with Wade Barrett.

Next week is a special three-hour RAW for the Slammy Awards!

@MattWRoberts I didn’t know Daniel Bryan was the guest host of Raw tonight!!! So cool!!

@RingsideRants Where is the anonymous GM for this Bella switch bullshit that happens every week? #LogicIsOverrated

@kickoutblog Good news: Daniel Bryan match without Michael Cole commentating. Bad news: it’s also a Bella match.

@seraphalexiel This is why Ted should’ve stuck with Virgil.

Now, the Wade Barrett interview, via satellite. Otunga, however, tells us that Barrett’s on his way to the arena for Slater and Gabriel’s title match. Matthews asks what they’re strategy is for taking out Cena, but Otunga says he’s not going to tell him that. They do have a plan, and Cena’s going to pick them off one by one, but the Nexus is going to stay united. Someone knocks, and Otunga says that the interview is over. He jerks the door open, and Otunga gets onto him for taking forever, and then says that he’s not paying for cold food. Someone knocks on the door again, and Otunga answers, only for it to be Cena. Harris, I believe, attacks Cena, but Otunga gets away. Cena proceeds to rip Harris apart, and then chases after Otunga.

@KeepItFiveStar Oh David Otunga, didn’t you learn anything from Edge and Lita?

@Niki_Sushi My poor Justin. :< I’ll play nurse for you. :3 #BWF #RAW

@TKeep123 Thanks, David, you stay in the hotel room….Room Service for you! Bet You Can’t SEE Housekeeping! #RAW #WWE #BWF

@HitTheRopes Yo, Nexus gets a new shirt like every other week now. #wwe

@kickoutblog Dear WWE Superstars: never invite a camera crew to your home or hotel room… it’s a guaranteed ass kicking.

We get back, and David Hart Smith is in the ring! Josh Matthews says he’s been waiting for this match for quite some time, but… they just fought on Superstars!

David Hart Smith vs Tyson Kidd

Tyson walks down to the ring with some tall ass- OMG! This is the guy that beat Goldust in the pre-RAW match when I was in Orlando! He’s a good wrestler, guys, very strong. Did beat Goldust… Don’t remember his name. EDIT: Apparently, it’s Jackson Andrews

ANYWAY!

Kidd and Smith start out, and Smith keeps a quick advantage until Kidd kicks him in the jaw, but it doesn’t last and Smith throws him back in the ring. Kidd gets a great advantage using his speed and attacks with hard kicks before throwing him into the middle of the ring. He puts his knee in smith’s back and pulls his arms back, but Smith fights to his feet, only for Kidd to kick him. Smith hits a clothesline, then a flying shoulder, then a belly to belly throw across the ring. Kidd gets to his feet, but Smith runs into an elbow. Kidd goes up top, but Smith hits him hard. Smith climbs up too, and hits a superplex, going for the cover. Kidd kicks out at two, and then counters an Irish Whip into the clothesline. Kidd counters to a roll through and pins him.

Tyson Kidd wins via pinfall.

Smith runs out and attacks Kidd, but the big guy slams Smith into the barrier, then throws him into the ring and joins him. The new guy then clotheslines Smith to hell. Kidd climbs in, looking like friggin Hornswoggle next to this guy.

Axe Murderer Gabriel is backstage with Slater and Barrett, and says that they aren’t safe anywhere. Gabriel says that he’s not sure how well he can defend the title, but Barrett says not to be afraid, and in the long run, everything is going to work itself off. Otunga apparently ran all the way to the arena and says that Barrett’s plan didn’t work. Barrett says it was Otunga’s execution of the plan. Slater and Gabriel need to focus on defending the titles. Barrett looks at Otunga and says that he’s going to go to the ring and call out Cena, and tells him to watch, because then he’ll learn something about taking care of business. Otunga says that Barrett better, because if he doesn’t, he may have a mutiny on his hands.

@KeepItFiveStar LMAO. Otunga with his Kenyan 600 like speed.

@Niki_Sushi ‘It’d be hard to kidnap this guy!’ Naw…. you think? #BWF #RAW

@TKeep123 Damn, that hotel must be close by! Looks like Otunga ran the whole way! #RAW #WWE #BWF

@Lunna1969 Dude looks like he has roid rage! #WWE #RAW #BWF

Fatal Four Way Tag Team Elimination Match for the WWE Tag Team Championships
Santino Marella and Vladimir Kozlov vs. Jimmy and Jey Uso with Tamina vs. Yoshi Tatsu and Mark Henry vs. The WWE Tag Team Champions Justin Gabriel and Heath Slater

Wonder how Tamina will affect Santino’s chances… But, at least with this, we all know who will win.

Justin and Tatsu start out, locking up with Gabriel getting an advantage. Tatsu puts him in a headlock, no doubt causing a problem for Gabriel’s sore neck, but Tatsu ducks every move Gabriel throws at him. Tatsu hits a spinning heel kick and goes for a cover, but Gabriel kicks out. Gabriel fights back with a kick to the gut and tags in Slater, who is thrown to the ground. Tatsu then puts him in a submission (arm bar? I missed it), and Mark Henry is tagged in. Heath quickly tags in one of the Usos, who won’t get in, until Henry drags him in by his hair. Henry then punches Jey, apparently, in the head and drops him to the ground. Henry tags Tatsu back in and holds Jey as Tatsu plants his feet in Jey’s chest. Jey runs Tatsu into the corner and tags in Jimmy. Tatsu is being abused in the corner, and Jey is tagged in, and they hit their team finisher thing, and take Henry off the apron with a double baseball slide. Heath tags himself in through whichever Uso is in, and then goes for a cover on Tatsu, who cannot kick out.

Mark Henry and Yoshi Tatsu are eliminated.

The Usos come back in and really give it to Slater, who kicks out of the cover. Slater fights back, however, and the other Uso tags himself in, both of them dropping Slater. Gabriel breaks up the cover with a kick to the head. Uso then drops Slater to the mat, but Slater gets up, fighting back. Vladimir tags himself in using Heath to do so and proceeds to man handle everyone, knocking Slater and Gabriel and the other Uso off the apron, and then pinning him.

Jimmy and Jey Uso are eliminated.

So, it’s now Santino Marella and Vladimir Kozlov vs. Justin Gabriel and Heath Slater. Tamina stays with Santino, interestingly enough, and Gabriel works on weakening Kozlov’s leg. Gabriel goes for the cover, but Kozlov kicks out at two. Gabriel tags in Slater, who goes to town on Kozlov. The ref pushes him away, and Gabriel works on Kozlov. Kozlov whips Slater away and then head butts him. Santino comes in and suplexes Slater, who doesn’t like it much and lays Santino down. Gabriel is tagged in, and kicks Santino right in the face. Gabriel goes for a cover, but Santino kicks out. Tamina is still in the corner of Santino and Kozlov. Slater yells at the crowd to shut up, but in the ring, Santino’s fighting his way out of Gabriel’s headlock thing, and then flips Gabriel over him. Gabriel kicks him in the head, but Santino kicks out of the following cover at two. Nexus continues to tag in and out, keeping Santino in his corner, . Once again, Slater distracts the ref and Gabriel takes the time to attack Santino.

@HitTheRopes LOL, my brother is enamored by Tamina. Is contemplating how it must be to be with a woman that muscular

@Lunna1969: I like Yoshi but seeing him with Mark Henry is making me miss @findevan (Evan Bourne) a lot! #WWE #RAW #BWF

@KeepItFiveStar What kind of “Dogpile on the rabbit” move was that, Heath Slater?!

@kickoutblog If the ring blew up right now, WWE would no longer have a tag team division.

@Niki_Sushi I would rather hear Santino sing to his theme song than R Truth…. rap? his. #BWF #RAW

We come back to Gabriel trying to keep Kozlov out of his own corner. It doesn’t work, however, and Santino gets in to fight Gabriel. I see @FrankWWEClown’s wing. Santino gets Gabriel on his back with a hip toss, and then a head butt. Santino then punches Gabriel in the stomach and when he goes for a cover, Slater comes in to break it, and Kozlov goes out of the ring to get Slater away. Cena distracts Gabriel, who is hit with the Cobra for the win.

Santino Marella and Vladimir Kozlov win via pinfall and are the new WWE Tag Team Champions.

Tamina gives Santino a congratulatory kiss, and the three of them do the trumpet thing in the middle of the ring.

Still to come, Randy Orton is going to decimate Alex Riley, but up next is King Sheamus’ Coronation Ceremony!

@TKeep123 I told ya!!!!!! FEAR THE COBRA!! FEAR THE COBRA!! FEAR THE COBRA!! FEAR THE COBRA!! FEAR THE COBRA!! New Tag Champs! #WWE #RAW #BWF

@LadySwagger6 John Cena, you wore that outfit to RAW last week.

@KeepItFiveStar Tamina is definitely Snuka’s daughter. She hates shoes.

@kickoutblog DID SANTINO JUST THROW A STUNNER?!

By the way, everyone, in two weeks is WWE’s Tribute to the Troops featuring Diddy’s Dirty Money, Trace Adkins, Sherri Shepard, and whoever Miss USA was from last week. Because I didn’t care enough to pay attention to her name…

It’s a shameful thing, lobster head… Too many limes, too many limes…

Sheamus comes out with a wicked looking crown. I want it.

Sheamus says it’s good to be king. He says when he won King of the Ring least week, he didn’t just win the tournament, he restored credibility to the crown. He’s far superior to all of the peasants in the arena, and he’s a better fighter than anyone across the universe, he’s the man who ended Triple H’s career, the King of Kings. He kicked him off this throne, and became the new high king. The last high king of Ireland was a guy named Bryan something, and he fought for Ireland. He was feared and respected all across the land, but in the end, at the battle of some place, he fell and was defeated, and that will never happen to him, because his reign will live forever. He’s better than the best, and will not be remembered as Ronald McDonald or Conon O’Brien, but as the greatest high king in history.

Now listen, this ain’t no make believe…

Morrison says that if Sheamus was going to go this route, why not go all the way? Get some goblins, elves, gnomes, a satyr, even (the half-man, half-goat thing). Morrison says it could escort him to the ring and afterward, they could hang out. Sheamus says that he knows why Morrison is out there, Morrison is jealous. Morrison is jealous that Sheamus is a two-time WWE Champion, and that he’s the King of the Ring, and Morrison isn’t and never will be. Morrison is jealous that Sheamus has achieved more in the past two years than in his whole career, and that Sheamus is simply the better man. Morrison says that Sheamus is right: he’s achieved more and has more accolades. He’s a former WWE Champion, the King of the Ring, and last time Morrison checked, Morrison won at Survivor Series, and Sheamus beat him last week, but the score is tied and Morrison is the better man. Sheamus laughs and says that Morrison is a funny man. If Morrison’s sense of humor matched his in ring ability, he’d be wearing the crown, but he isn’t and he isn’t. And, from now on, Sheamus wants Morrison to refer to him either as ‘Your Highness’ or the High King of the WWE. But, what Sheamus wants most, is to send an example to his loyal subjects across the WWE Universe. He wants Morrison to get down on his hands and knees and bow to his king. Morrison says that he’s not going to do that, and that in this business there are no guarantees, but Morrison has one for him: Morrison will never bow down to King Sheamus.

Sheamus attacks Morrison and demands he get down, and Morrison punches him and attacks. Morrison just keeps going after Sheamus, and Morrison uses Sheamus’ own scepter and throne against Sheamus.

Tonight, Wade Barrett is going to call out John Cena and end things once and for all.

@kickoutblog King Sheamus will have the last laugh when he orders John Morrison to be beheaded

@TrueKofi what in the hell is sheamus wearing?!

@HitTheRopes Cut the jokes? Was that what Morrison was attempting to make there?

@Niki_Sushi Oh god. He called himself Ronald McDonald. My life is complete. #BWF #RAW

@KeepItFiveStar Story time with King Lobster Head

@JonHexLives: Is he a king or a wizard? #WWE #RAW #Sheamus

@TKeep123 Sheamus looks like Adam Savage on sterioids! ( #MythBusters ) #WWE #RAW #BWF

Diva’s Champion Natalya vs. Melina

Lay-Cool are ringside, invited by Michael Cole. Lawler sums up my thoughts: Why don’t you slip into something more comfortable? Like a coma?

Natalya starts dominating Melina, lifting Melina up and holding her up, and Punk tells everyone to shut up. Natalya goes for a cover, but Melina gets out and attacks Natalya back, slamming Natalya down onto her knees. Melina wraps her legs around Natalya’s middle, but Natalya gets Melina’s shoulder’s down. Natalya hits the spinning clothesline thing on Melina and gets her in a corner, attacking her, only to run into both of Melina’s feet. Natalya drops Melina into a split, and then locks in the Sharpshooter. Melina fights not to tap, but she finally does.

Natalya wins via submission.

LayCool get up and head into the ring, attacking Natalya. Melina, however, keeps walking away.

Still to come, Randy Orton is going to destroy Alex Riley, and Wade Barrett calls out John Cena!

@KeepItFiveStar Nattie just clotheslined Melina’s Vocal Chords out! She will never shriek again.

@TKeep123 hmm..Melina vs. Natalya. I’m torn here…how about just lots of close wrestling, lots of pin attempts, then kiss & make up. #WWE #RAW #BWF

@RingsideRants Screaming before you do every move is a dead giveaway, Melina.

@kickoutblog LayCool vs. Natalya won’t end until LayCool get the belt back. It’s not like there are any other heel Divas for Natalya to work with.

@ThingsColeSays Is CM Punk gonna have to choke a bitch?

Don’t forget! Next Monday, RAW starts at 8/7 Central for the Slammy Awards!

Alex Riley and The Miz are backstage, and Alex Riley says that he won’t let Miz down. Miz says that Riley is representing The Miz and everyone’s talking about how he won. Not to mention, they’re treating it as the turning point of this company, and Riley needs to beat Randy Orton. Riley says that the only way Orton will leave Louisville on his hands and knees. The Miz says after that, he won’t tell Randy what match they’ll have at the pay-per-view, he’ll show him.

I hear voices in my head…

Randy Orton vs Alex Riley is up next.

@Niki_Sushi Mm-mm-mm. I love me some sexy man, and the sexiest just came on out. I’z happeh. Now I want him to slaughter an idiot… OH WAIT! #BWF #RAW

@ThingsColeSays Did Miz just quote HBK? “Look in my eye!” bwhahahahahahaahahhahha

@kickoutblog This week’s Miz suit < last week’s Miz suit.

@kickoutblog At least Dennis Miller won’t be anywhere near this year’s Slammy Awards.

@Lunna1969 I so volunteer to be the person that oils Randy up!!! #WWE #RAW #BWF

@TKeep123 Amazing how entertaining this night has been WITHOUT Michael Cole on commentary! #WWE please take note! #RAW #BWF

AWESOME!

Randy Orton vs. Alex Riley with WWE Champion The Miz

The Miz is standing in Riley’s corner as this match begins, and Orton gets distracted by him right away, allowing Riley to focus on the knee again. Orton fights back, however, and throws Riley in the corner, getting forcibly moved away from the corner by the ref. Orton’s down, and Riley goes for a cover, but Orton kicks out. Riley stays focused on the injured knee. Randy gets back up and hits a suplex on Riley. Orton gets up again and hits Riley a few times, getting his momentum back. He hits an inverted atomic drop followed by a clothesline, and then his scoop slam. Riley rolls around the ring in pain for a minute, and manages to roll under the bottom rope, like an idiot. Orton hits that second rope DDT that we all love and then glares at Miz before flipping around and slamming onto the mat, pounding down. He gets up to hit it, but The Miz comes in and hits the Skull Crushing Finale.

Randy Orton wins via disqualification.

The Miz demands a microphone and says that he is going to show Orton what stipulation they are going to have at the pay per view. He goes under the ring and pulls out a table. He sets it up, scares the ref away (earning a laugh from me), and then lifts Randy up by his ears. Randy fights back, however, and goes to throw Miz into the table, but Miz gets out of it and flees the ring, leaving his rookie in the ring. Orton realizes this and turns his gaze to Riley. He picks Riley up, and then Batista Bombs power bombs Riley right through the table.

Barrett makes his way to the ring, and tells Otunga to make sure the rest of the guys are ready.

@KeepItFiveStar That might be the first time I’ve seen Randy Orton do a powerbomb…EVER!

@TKeep123 MIZ declares, It’s a BEVERAGE MATCH! OOPS, wrong side of the ring…. It’s a Tables Match! #WWE #RAW #BWF

@Niki_Sushi I love how there’s a refreshment box under the ring. #BWF #RAW

@Fullmetal_Ninja: #WWE #RAW A-Ri is gonna get his A-Hole ripped.

Another reminder of the Slammy’s. Seriously, just scroll up.

Barrett makes his way to the ring, hopefully with Otunga already having prepped Nexus to come out. Barrett says that he’s about to admit to something he’s never admitted to in his life: he got it wrong. He assumed that Cena was a man of his word, but we all know the stipulation from Survivor Series: it was free or fired, not free or turn up at RAW and attack the Nexus at will. It was free or fired and Cena was fired. If Cena had one ounce of integrity in his body, he’d never show his face here again. Barrett says that Cena can attack the rest of Nexus as much as he wants, but Nexus can’t get him hired, only Barrett can. With that being said, Barrett wants to invite Cena out to the ring now, from wherever it is he’s hiding, because there’s something he wants to get off his chest. Barrett tells Cena not to be shy, and Cena appears in the audience, high fiving people and making his way to the ring. Punk tells security they have a jumper, and I laugh.

Nexus comes out when Cena gets to the ring, with an apparently much better Harris. Barrett says that he’s allowed Cena out to the ring, but if Cena puts a foot out of line, or threatens him, Nexus will beat Cena within an inch of his life. Cena says okay. Barrett tells Cena that the WWE Universe can cheer as much as they want, but it doesn’t help. He knows that Cena has problems understanding him, so he’s going to say it slowly, and Cena can read his lips: This is not going to work. Barrett will never rehire him. Cena laughs before talking. He tells Barrett that he’s stupid, then mocks him. Cena says that being fired actually isn’t that bad. Technically, he’s not a WWE Superstar, but he’s part of the WWE Universe, and he still has a lot of friends, and he can tailgate with the WWE Universe, and they’re crazy. And best of all is that he has so much time on his hands that he can think of making the Nexus’ lives hell. Cena says at least Heat and Justin didn’t lose to Santino and the Cobra (oh wait), and then asks how the beatdowns last week were. And he asks how David and ‘Hasky’s’ room service was. Cena says that he’s perfectly content with staying fired, buying a ticket to ever RAW, and making the lives of every Nexus member miserable. So, Mr. Barrett, he doesn’t want to rehire Cena? Cena could care less. Cena asks fi they’re done, because he has to go party. Barrett says that he may be out to intimidate the rest of the Nexus, but he can’t intimidate Barrett. Barrett asks what insurances that the attacks are going to stop. Cena sys that if he was rehired, he’d have so much room for activities, compete in matches, have his own talk show, or he could compete for the WWE Championship. Cena says the reason he never thought of it is because he doesn’t have the WWE Championship. If Barrett keeps him fired, and all he has to do is buy a ticket and ruin his life. Cena says that if Barrett has the guts to hire him back, the attacks on Nexus may stop, but his attacks on Barrett will not. He deserves payback, and payback is what he will get. If Barrett was a man of honor and integrity, he’d rehire Cena on the spot, and they’d end it tonight. And if Barrett doesn’t, Cena’s going to get him, but Barrett will never know when or where, but it will happen. And it’s not just going to be once, he won’t stop. Every single day that Barrett is in the WWE, Cena makes it his promise that his life will be a nightmare. Barrett says that that sounded like a threat and tells Nexus to extinguish this man.

Nexus doesn’t move.

Barrett continues to tell them to come down to the ring, but Harris walks backstage, followed by Slater, Gabriel, and finally, Otunga, who all ignore repeated orders to return to the ring. Cena then tackles Barrett and chases him, hurling him into the steel steps. Cena pulls them away from the ring, and Punk tries to protect his diet soda. Punk says flat out that he’s moving. Cena gives Punk his soda this time, but Punk doesn’t seem to care. Barrett is lifted onto Cena’s shoulders, and climbs the steps, but Barrett takes off running, managing to make it out of the ring and up the ramp. The sound guys didn’t get the memo, and play Cena’s music. Cena offers Punk one of his wristbands, but Punk throws it away.

Barrett moves backstage and sees Nexus, and yells at all of them. Otunga stands there and says that Barrett may not be giving them orders anymore. Next week, Barrett either hires Cena back, or he’s kicked out of Nexus. Barrett says they have to be kidding, but the other members of Nexus gang up on him.

I’m sorry everyone, but the only image the website would let me post was the Blinded by Nexus one. xP I’ll try to get more of them up next week!!

This Cena angle is so much better than the Juan Cena angle and I’m happy I did not have to see that. So, next week, RAW starts at 8/7 Central and is the Slammy Awards!! Maybe I can talk ThinkSoJoE into helping me with our very own awards (that may come a few weeks later). Who knows? Stay tuned!

And I’m ending with a random thought: If Alex Riley can be called A-Ri, can I be called A-Kat?? Ahaha. Ignore that.

WWE RAW results 11/29/10

November 30, 2010 6:05 am 3 Comments

It is I, the King of the BoredWrestlingFan crew, and I have returned for a second straight week with a review of wWE RAW! I took over writing duties for tonight after the show ended, so I won’t be using tweets in tonight’s review (sorry, @TKeep123, @WWEsAngel_Nef, among others). AlyKat should be back next week. She would have been back this week, but she’s spent the last week popping open bottles of champagne due to The Miz’s WWE Championship victory and her wrists hurt too badly to type. Are you ready? Because tonight’s show is simply this: RAWWWWWESOME!

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WWE RAW results 11/22/10

November 23, 2010 4:05 am 8 Comments

Hey folks, the man the BWF staff call “Boss” is here to fill in for AlyKat tonight as she is in attendance at the Amway Arena in Orlando, FL for tonight’s edition of RAW. I’ve actually been to a WWE event in that very venue – the 2008 WWE Hall of Fame Induction Ceremony. Tonight, however, I’m on my couch in Niagara Falls, NY watching USA HD and bringing you my thoughts on this post-Survivor Series edition of RAW. Will we see John Cena tonight? What kind of mood will Wade Barrett be in? Will Aly have a heart attack in the Amway Arena as The Miz cashes in Money In The Bank? Who knows! It’s uncooked, uncut, uncensored, it’s RAW!

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ThinkSoJoE’s Thoughts: How to get over…

November 13, 2010 1:12 am 4 Comments

I haven’t done an original column here on bWf in a while, but with it being my (and JT’s) birthday today, I thought I’d write a column I’d thought up yesterday afternoon, entitled “How to get over…”

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Power Poll 10/7/10

October 9, 2010 1:35 am Leave a Comment

1. Randy Orton (Last week: 1)

The Viper continues to dominate the Power Poll with a victory over Sheamus in a grueling Hell In A Cell match to retain the WWE Championship (My vote: 1)

2. Kane (2)

The Devil’s Favorite Demon is also the Father of Destruction’s favorite son, as proven by Paul Bearer’s assistance in Kane’s victory over his half brother The Undertaker at Hell In A Cell. (My vote: 5)

3. Wade Barrett (8)

The leader of Nexus finds himself up five spots this week following a victory over John Cena that forced Cena to be a part of the Nexus. Using his new authority over Cena’s career to help himself win the battle royal and become number one contender for Randy Orton’s WWE Championship didn’t hurt, either. (My vote: 2)

4. John Cena (4)

Even I ranked John Cena high on my ballot this week, despite his loss to Wade Barrett at Hell In A Cell. Cena played his role as the conflicted hero forced to join the enemy better than anybody thought he could. Legendary is available on DVD and BluRay at Walmart, I saw it, I enjoyed it, so I’ll plug it here! (My vote: 3)

5. Daniel Bryan (5)

The WWE United States Champion successfully defended his title in a triple threat, submissions count anywhere match at Hell In A Cell against John Morrison and The Miz, in what I consider a Match of the Year candidate. One would have to think that if he hadn’t been beaten so handily by Sheamus this past Monday night on RAW, Bryan’s rank would have gone up. (My vote: 8)

6. Edge (10)

Edge’s war on stupidity ran over three of the nights that this week’s poll covers. On SmackDown he ruined Jack Swagger’s celebration, spearing his eagle mascot. At Hell In A Cell, he interrupted Alberto Del Rio and then defeated Swagger in an impromptu match. His momentum came crashing to a halt on RAW, after being traded to SmackDown and then receiving a beatdown from The Miz and Alex Riley. (My vote: 4)

7. The Miz (6)

Mr. Money in the Bank tapped out at Hell In A Cell, but redeemed himself with the destruction of Edge, while saving Michael Cole, on RAW. (My vote: 9)

8. Sheamus (7)

Sheamus may have lost at Hell in a Cell, but his impressive showing in his match with Randy Orton and his subsequent decimation of Daniel Bryan the following night on RAW allow the Celtic Warrior to stay in the top 10. (My vote: 7)

9. Undertaker (3)

With Paul Bearer by his side last week, The Undertaker rose from the depths of wherever anybody that doesn’t make the Power Poll goes to hit number three, but drops to number nine as Paul Bearer has now aligned himself with Kane and cost The Undertaker the World Heavyweight Championship. (My vote: 10)

10. Alberto Del Rio (NR)

His name is Alberto Del Rio! But you, you already knew that. After mocking Rey Mysterio with an actual chihuahua on SmackDown, Del Rio attacked The Rated R Superstar from behind at Hell In A Cell, putting Edge at a distinct disadvantage in his match with Jack Swagger. (My vote: N/A)

Dropped out: C.M. Punk

Also voted on by me: John Morrison (6)

The Power Poll is a weekly top 10 ranking of wrestlers as voted by members of these wondeful sites: BoredWrestlingFan.com, Future Endeavors, Hit the Ropes, NoVaWPodcast, Oh My WrestleBlog, Online World of Wrestling, PIZZABODYSLAM, Pro Wrestling Ponderings, Project Wonderboy, Ringside Rants, Smark Out Moment, The Superplex, The Wrestling Blog, WrestlingAdikt.com,WrestleRage.com and Wrestlespective. If you have a wrestling site and are interested in becoming a voter, e-mail wrestlespective (at)gmail.com.

Power Poll 8/18/10: He’s Unstoppable

August 19, 2010 2:16 am Leave a Comment

“Some of you aren’t going to be thrilled about who is at the top of the rankings this week (at least as much as you might be emotionally involved in the results of the Power Poll). “ – Jason Mann, WrestlePerspective

1. John Cena (2)

By comparison, I ranked Cena 6th on my Power Poll ballot, and oddly enough he was still the top WWE guy on there. But, apparently, The Nexus is a bigger threat to the WWE than I thought, and Cena defeating them at SummerSlam and then defeating Darren Young and having him exiled from the group is enough to put him at the top of this week’s rankings.

2. Kane (6)

By virtue of his win over Rey Mysterio at SummerSlam, I ranked Kane number 10 on my ballot. He makes number two overall this week, however, after a surprisingly clean win at SummerSlam and easy dominance over his brother following the match.

3. Randy Orton (5)

The Viper earned a win in his WWE Championship match at SummerSlam, but since it was by disqualification, he didn’t earn the title. An impressive showing against Justin Gabriel of The Nexus on RAW before being distracted into a countout loss by Sheamus helps Orton climb the ranks. (My vote: N/A)

4. The Miz (1)

The United States Champion was snubbed by Team WWE at SummerSlam in favor of his former NXT rookie Daniel Bryan, but that doesn’t take the Miz down too far this week, since he caused Bryan to be eliminated, then cost him a match against Michael Tarver of The Nexus the following night along with current NXT rookie Alex Riley. (My vote: N/A)

5. Daniel Bryan (NR)

In his surprise return at SummerSlam, Daniel Bryan single handedly eliminated at least two members of The Nexus before being taken out by his former mentor The Miz and his Money In The Bank briefcase. The following night, he impressed against Michael Tarver, but once again the United States Champion stopped him from attaining victory. (My vote: 7)

6. Sheamus (4)

The WWE Champion drops in the rankings again after failing to earn a victory over Randy Orton at SummerSlam. Eating an RKO on RAW doesn’t help stop him from falling either. (My vote: N/A)

7. Alex Shelley (NR)

Despite the entire top 5 of my ballot being TNA wrestlers, Alex Shelley is the first representative of that company to appear on the official Power Poll for this week. If you’re going to pick a top guy for TNA, this is one of the four men that deserve that honor after the impressive match in which the Motor City Machine Guns retained the TNA Tag Team Championships on the Whole F’N Show. (My vote: 3)

8. Chris Sabin (NR)

See Shelley, Alex. (My vote: 2)

9. Wade Barrett (NR)

The Leader of The Nexus was the last member of team to be eliminated at SummerSlam, and he redeemed himself enough to gain a spot in this week’s Power Poll by defeating Chris Jericho cleanly on RAW. (My vote: N/A)

10. Rob Van Dam (3)

The TNA World Champion, what’s left of him anyway, earns the last spot on this week’s Power Poll after an impressive showing against Abyss in a Stairway to Janice match on The Whole F’N Show. (My vote: 5)

I also voted for: James Storm (1), Robert Roode (4), Abyss (8), and The Undertaker (9).
The Power Poll is a weekly top 10 ranking of wrestlers as voted by members of these sites: BoredWrestlingFan.com, Hit the Ropes,NoVaWPodcast, Oh My WrestleBlog. Online World of Wrestling, PIZZABODYSLAM, Pro Wrestling Ponderings, Project Wonderboy,Ringside Rants, The Superplex, The Wrestling Blog, WrestlingAdikt.com, WrestleRage.com and Wrestlespective. If you have a wrestling site and are interested in becoming a voter, e-mail wrestlespective (at) gmail.com.

Power Poll 8/4/10: O, here he comes.

August 4, 2010 1:13 am Leave a Comment

I missed the deadline to submit this week, but I’ll still give my insight into the rankings, since they don’t vary too drastically from what I submitted.

The No. 1 contender for the WWE Championship has ridden a wave of recent success to become No. 1 in the Power Poll as well.

1. Randy Orton (2)

Orton’s first face turn didn’t go over too well, but this time around the fans love him, and so do the voters in the Power Poll, as the number one contender to the WWE Championship at Summerslam overtakes the number one spot this week.

2. Kane (4)

The World Heavyweight Champion follows Orton in climbing up the charts via a cool promo to kick off SmackDown, and a chokeslam into the Gulf of Mexico on Rey Mysterio to end the show.

3. Sheamus (3)

The WWE Champion stays put on our charts after defeating an old nemesis in Goldust this week on RAW.

4. John Cena (7)

The leader of Team WWE at SummerSlam can’t manage to hold his team together, but he’s managed to climb up the charts with a victory over now former teammate Chris Jericho on RAW.

5. The Miz (1)

With a loss to Randy Orton and no attempt to cash in his Money In The Bank briefcase this week, The Miz drops four spots to number five.

6. Chris Jericho (8)

Despite a bizarre loss to John Cena on RAW, tapping out before Cena could even get his STF locked in, Chris Jericho manages to climb the rankings of the Power Poll.

7. Rey Mysterio (5)

Kane must have gotten lonely being the only non-RAW wrestler so far on the chart, but that changes with the addition of Rey Mysterio at number 7. Tossing Jack Swagger into the Gulf of Mexico helps Rey stay afloat in the top 10.

8. Rob Van Dam (6)

The TNA World Champion saved Eric Bischoff’s hide from Abyss’s girl Janice, and that saves him from disappearing from the Power Poll.

9. Wade Barrett (10)

Barrett held his own in a match with Edge, even avoiding a Spear attempt before trying to sick the Nexus on his opponent to no avail.

10. C.M. Punk (NR)

The Straight Edge Savior reveals that his arm is just fine before attempting to destroy the right hand of The Big Show on SmackDown, and that catapults him into the Power Poll.

The Power Poll is a weekly top 10 ranking of wrestlers as voted by members of these sites: BoredWrestlingFan.com, Hit the Ropes,NoVaWPodcast, Online World of Wrestling, PIZZABODYSLAM, Pro Wrestling Ponderings, Project Wonderboy, Ringside Rants, The Superplex, The Wrestling Blog, WrestlingAdikt.com, WrestleRage.com and Wrestlespective. If you have a wrestling site and are interested in becoming a voter, e-mail wrestlespective (at) gmail.com.

Tag Archive: Wwe Championship

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