I do this for you, dear readers. All two of you. I’m here on Christmas eve reviewing WWE RAW. I don’t have to worry about missing out on Santa Claus, because he’s hosting RAW tonight. When he should be flying all over the world delivering toys to boys and girls everywhere. Also, Santa Claus is G from BWF Radio.
I watch 30 minutes of the show, leave for work, and then watch the entire 3 hour show in it’s entirety at work. You’re welcome. That’s how ThinkSoJoE’s RAW reviews work.
One day after we gave out our own awards for the year in wrestling, the WWE copies us by giving out their annual Slammy Awards. I, for one, think the BWF Awards are more prestigious. After all, you can’t buy a BWF Award. Anyway, let’s get started so I can finish this by 3AM.
I watch 30 minutes of RAW. I leave for work. I obtain a copy of RAW when I get to work. And since I don’t have the foresight to start my review while I’m watching the first half hour, I have to sit through it again. That’s how ThinkSoJoE’s RAW reviews work.
Welcome friends, it is I, ThinkSoJoE, returning to review the flagship show of the WWE while RYTMAN attends to some family issues. Before I get started, I’d like to send my well wishes to RYTMAN and his family in these trying times. Your job is waiting for you when you get back, bud.
I watch 30 minutes of RAW, leave for work, and avoid spoilers like the plague. Not the character BWF Radio’s Jorge played in the band Dead Before Dawn, the one that killed a bunch of people in the middle ages. Then I watch the show while I’m sitting around doing nothing else of note at work. That’s how ThinkSoJoE’s RAW reviews work.
NO! I don’t wanna review RAW! You can’t make me! Nooooooooo!
Last night at Over The Limit, a bunch of crap happened, CM Punk retained his title, and John Laurinaitis beat John Cena with help from the Big Show. Let’s see what kind of horrible stuff they make us sit through tonight in one of the last two hour RAWs.
Another week, another RAW review. I DID have somebody volunteer, but that somebody’s e-mail address they gave me bounced back to me. So, if you’re interested in being our BWF RAW Blogger, please e-mail contact@boredwrestlingfan.com.
I don’t remember what happened last week even though I wrote about it and we talked about it on yesterday’s podcast. Well, I remember Paul Heyman. THIS IS EXTREME!
What’s up, fellow Bored Wrestling Fans, it is I, the Vince McMahon to BWF’s WWE, the one and only ThinkSoJoE! And I’m here at work watching RAW and providing you with a review of this week’s RAW, because, well, I haven’t found anybody to cover this show since Justin Ruff stepped down last week. If you’re interested, the comments section is your friend! Oh well, let’s roll!
The following is a repost of A Celebration of Professional Wrestling: Thank you!. We are about to kick things off again this year in celebration of WrestleMania 28, which occurs on April 1st, 2012… unless of course Vince McMahon is secretly planning on the biggest April Fool’s Day joke ever played on wrestling fans.
This post includes all of the content posted at both BoredWrestlingFan.com and Wonderpodonline.com for the week leading up to WrestleMania 27. Click below for all of last year’s content before we begin our online barrage of wrestling-themed content! (more…)
Well, Justin Ruff may not be an awards show kind of guy, but I absolutely LOVE the Slammys! Luckily, I happened to have written a half-assed recap of RAW to use as reference for next Sunday’s episode of BWF Radio, so I’ll add to it a little and use it as this week’s RAW review!
We kick things off with the “Tell Me I Didn’t Just See That Moment of the Year” award, presented by Booker T and Hornswoggle. The nominees are:
Jim Ross winning the dance contest portion of the “Michael Cole Challenge.”
Santino Marella nearly winning the Royal Rumble
The Miz disguised as The Rock attacking John Cena
R-Truth getting okie-doked by Little Jimmy
The Slammy goes to: Jim Ross! Michael Cole interrupts JR’s acceptance speech, which leads to a battle rap between the two. JR flubs his lines but still manages to win. Before he leaves, Booker T convinces him to do a “JR-Roonie.”
This is Jim Ross’s first Slammy!
Mick Foley and “The Million Dollar Man” Ted DiBiase present the “Holy !@#$ Moment of the Year” award. Mick wonders why Ted DiBiase is presenting the award with him. DiBiase says it’s because he’s an ordained minister. So he’s the “Holy” part. The nominees are:
Sheamus puts Sin Cara through a ladder at Money In The Bank
Randy Orton RKO’s Christian out of the air and onto the steps at SummerSlam
Evan Bourne hits “Air Bourne” on all of the other Money In The Bank participants at Money In The Bank
Mark Henry and The Big Show break the ring at Vengeance
And the winner is: The Big Show and Mark Henry. Big Show accepts the award, then heads down to the ring for his match.
This is Big Show’s second Slammy. He won the award for Tag Team of the Year in 2009 as part of Jeri-Show. This is Mark Henry’s first Slammy.
The Big Show def. Wade Barrett via Disqualification – Barrett cut a promo on the way to the ring. He tried to use a chair, but Big Show punched it out of his hand.
The Road Dogg Jesse James (yes, you read that right) presents the award for “Pipe Bomb of the Year.” Instead of actual nominees in the category, various sound clips (mostly bloopers) are played. The winner, of course, is CM Punk, who comes to the podium with a mannequin in a Dynamic Dudes t-shirt and dedicates the win to John Laurinaitis. Punk then plays a video package of Laurinaitis’ career that says “Lifetime Achievement Award” at the end. It was set to “The Touch,” which, if you’re a dork like me, you’ll remember as the theme song from the 1986 animated classic, “Transformers The Movie.”
This is Punk’s fourth Slammy – he’s previously won the 2008 OMG Moment award for cashing in his Money In The Bank contract on Edge, the 2009 Shocker of the Year award for forcing Jeff Hardy to leave WWE, and the 2010 Despicable Me award for singing Happy Birthday to Rey Mysterio’s daughter.
Here to present our next award… it’s LITA! She’s here to present the “Divalicious Moment of the Year” award. The nominees are:
Natalya puts Layla and Eve in the Sharpshooter at the same time
Kelly Kelly wins the Divas Championship
Kharma debuts at Extreme Rules
Beth Phoenix gives Eve a Glam Slam from the top rope at Survivor Series
And the winner is: Kelly Kelly. Beth Phoenix comes out, steals the Slammy, and proclaims herself Diva of the Year, but Kelly slaps her and takes it back.
This is Kelly Kelly’s first Slammy!
Santino Marella and the Bella Twins present the award for “OMG Moment of the Year.” The nominees are:
Triple H tombstones The Undertaker at WrestleMania XXVII
The Rock Rock Bottoms John Cena at WrestleMania XXVII
The WWE Superstars walk out on Triple H
CM Punk wins the WWE Championship and walks out on WWE
And the winner is: Triple H! Hunter heads straight to the ring and cuts a promo on Kevin Nash. He scares Santino away at the top of the ramp.
This is Triple H’s second Slammy. He won the award for “Best Hair” in 1997.
David Otunga and Tony Atlas present the award for “Trending Superstar of the Year.” Otunga explains, while Tony Atlas laughs the whole time, that the four nominees will wrestle in a Fatal Four Way Match. While the match is going on, the first one of the four to trend on Twitter will win the award, which will be presented after the match. The nominees – and participants in the next match – are:
Cody Rhodes
Zack Ryder
Daniel Bryan
Dolph Ziggler
Dolph Ziggler def. Daniel Bryan, Cody Rhodes, and Zack Ryder in a Fatal Four Way Match. This match is a must-watch. Hell of a battle between these four, and they gave it a lot of time. In the end it was Ziggler hitting a Zig Zag on Daniel Bryan to pick up the hard fought victory. However…
Jerry “The King” Lawler enters the ring and announces that the winner of “Trending Superstar of the Year” is, of course, Zack Ryder. Ryder gets his Slammy, but Ziggler hits him with a Zig Zag and walked away with the trophy.
This is Zack Ryder’s second Slammy. He won the 2010 “Most Annoying Catchphrase” Slammy for “Woo Woo Woo, You Know It.” My how times have changed.
Christian, on crutches and wearing a neck brace, presents the award for “Game Changer of the Year,” but not before calling himself the “Courageous Superstar of the Year” and blaming the WWE Universe for him not being in the running for “Superstar of the Year” later on tonight. The nominees are:
Vince McMahon removed from power
Edge retires
The Rock and John Cena set a date for WrestleMania 28
Kevin Nash returns at SummerSlam
And the winner is: The Rock and John Cena. Cena accepts the award and says it’s a two person award. He introduces The Rock, who doesn’t come out. Cena says that we have him via satellite. We don’t. Cena says he’s saying these things to make the Rock that much more motivated to put boots to asses.
This is John Cena’s 4th Slammy. He’s won the 2009 and 2010 Superstar Of The Year awards, and the 2010 Holy !@#$ Moment for putting Batista through the stage with an Attitude Adjustment.
The Miz & Alberto Del Rio def. CM Punk & Randy Orton – The Miz and Alberto Del Rio won by keeping Punk away from Orton. Orton was eventually pulled off the apron by Wade Barrett, leaving Punk alone, and the numbers game caught up with him. After the match, Orton took off looking for Barrett, while The Miz and Del Rio assaulted Punk with a ladder. Del Rio locked the Cross Armbreaker in on Punk through the rungs of the ladder while Miz stated that no matter what happens, Punk won’t walk out of TLC with the WWE Championship.
We get another “Kane Resurrected” Promo
Vickie Guerrero and Goldust present “WWE A-Lister Of The Year.” The nominees are:
The Muppets
Snooki
Cee-Lo Green
Hugh Jackman
And the winner is: Snooki, who accepts via pre-recorded message. She wishes Zack Ryder luck at TLC and gives a “Woo Woo Woo, You Know It.”
I’m sure it goes without saying that this is Snooki’s first, and probably only, Slammy.
Matt Striker interviews Mark Henry backstage, who is looking to induct John Cena into the Hall of Pain tonight.
Sheamus heads to the ring for action. His opponent is scheduled to be Jinder Mahal, but as he’s talking trash when he gets in the ring, Sheamus nails the Brogue Kick and leaves.
Rey Mysterio presents “Superstar of the Year.” The nominees are:
John Cena
Alberto Del Rio
Mark Henry
CM Punk
Randy Orton
The Miz
And the winner is: CM Punk, with his second victory of the night. John Laurinaitis says Punk is in no condition to accept, so he accepts on Punk’s behalf.
This is Punk’s 2nd Slammy tonight and his 5th overall win.
Mark Henry walking backstage is cut off by the newest cryptic video.
John Cena vs. Mark Henry ends in a no contest when Kane returns! Wearing a hard black mask when he gets to the ring, he chokeslams John Cena! He sets off his pyro and removes the black mask, only to reveal that he’s returned to wearing a half mask and having long hair.
My thoughts: Quick thoughts, of course. I need stuff for the podcast, after all. I’m glad to see Kane back, and back to his old look. Maybe we’ll get the Big Red Monster back! And yes folks, all the stats I added in about the Slammys are 100% correct. I did my research!
It wasn’t that long ago. Just a few weeks, actually. I jumped right on this very website right after WWE RAW SuperShow to rant about how they ruined a perfectly entertaining show with the introduction of John Laurinaitis as the interim RAW General Manager. Now, I’m right back here after what many are saying was a terrible episode of RAW, and finding myself in a less than familiar situation – one where I’m not a cynical asshole.
Personally, I went on Twitter immediately after I watched last night’s show and mentioned that I felt like last night’s show was solid from top to bottom, and after re-watching it today with my wife I’m standing by that tweet. The fact is, the internet wrestling community (IWC) doesn’t know what they want. The same people who tune in to TNA and time the matches so they can jump on the internet and point out that there was only 10 minutes of wrestling in a two hour program are the same ones that I see right now saying that this episode of RAW, where the talking was kept to a minimum, was terrible.
Every performer on last night’s show put on a solid performance. The IWC doesn’t seem to think so, and I’d like to think that it’s because they’re so jaded about everything that the WWE does nowadays. John Cena has proven time and time again – despite the fact that I boo the hell out of his character – that he’s a solid performer and can have a good match with most of the guys on the roster, yet no matter how good of a match he has, you’ll still hear about the “five moves of doom.” The Divas have all been working very hard on their in-ring work, but as soon as they’re on television, the IWC collectively says “piss break!”
The biggest criticism I’ve seen of last night’s show was the ending. Oh no, “Super Cena” just beat Awesome Truth all by himself, why does he even need to bother with The Rock at Survivor Series? What show are you watching? Cena beat The Miz, then while Miz was incapacitated, R-Truth tried to attack him, but got caught and ate an AA for his trouble. That’s not Cena beating up two guys at once, that’s Cena beating two guys back to back. If it were Awesome Truth against Cena by himself, Cena gets beat down. See last week’s RAW for proof.
What bugs me is that if ROH did the exact same finish – let’s say with Davey Richards in the John Cena role, and members of The House of Truth in Awesome Truth’s place – these same people who are criticizing Cena would be praising Richards for outsmarting the opposition. You know I’m right.
This is what I want. I want all of my fellow members of the IWC to get off of their little cloud, and watch RAW back as a FAN and not as a cynical asshole desensitized to the business by the internet, and tell me what the hell was so wrong with last night’s show.
