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Apparently there was something huge that happened at the SmackDown tapings this week.  I wonder what it was?  I guess we’ll find out as WWE presents Friday Night SmackDown!

Episode #554 – “Jackpot.”

Jackpot, eh?  I wonder what that could mean.

“Do you really wanna cross the line?” Apparently not – TNA only did a .6 rating this week.

We’re live on tape in Sin City, Las Vegas Nevada, and it’s going to be an amazing night on SmackDown, according to Todd Grisham.

Chris Jericho must think so too, because the World Heavyweight Champion is the first person out tonight.  Dressed to the nines and still carrying his Championship after WrestleMania.  After his match, Edge speared him through a barricade.

Jericho reminds us that he’s still the World Heavyweight Champion, and the best in the world at what he does.  Last week, he was right when he said that Edge had inferior genetics.  At WrestleMania, Jericho wrestled a perfect match.  He dismantled Edge piece by piece, and beat him to retain the World Heavyweight Championship.  After the match, Edge tried to permanently injure Jericho by spearing him through the dasher boards.  Jericho wondered what he did to deserve that, and all he could hear was people cheering for Edge and chanting “spear.”  He realizes why – the fans and Edge are all the same.  They’ve never been successes, they’ve never reached their potential, and they’re losers.  Edge is a loser and Jericho is the Champion, because he’s an honest man.  He’s not saying he told you so, he’s saying that it is so.

You Think You Know Me…

The Rated R Superstar makes his way to the ring.  He says Jericho makes a valid point.  He and the fans do have a lot in common.  They all love watching Jericho get speared.  Edge thinks they’d love to see Edge spear Jericho again tonight, because Edge wants a rematch for the title, and he wants it right now.  Jericho asks if that’s what everybody wants.  They agree, but he says he doesn’t care what they want.  Edge had his shot at WrestleMania and he lost, which puts Edge at the back of the line because he’s a loser.  Nothing he says or does will change that.  Before Jericho tears Edge’s Achilles one more time, he’s telling Edge to get out of his ring right now.  Edge decks Jericho and rips his jacket off, revealing Jericho’s ribs to be taped up.  Edge nails the Impaler DDT and follows it up with a spear!

As Edge is backing up the ramp, he’s run over by Jack Swagger and the Money In The Bank briefcase.  Swagger grabs the mic and calls for a referee.  M-m-m-Mike Chioda heads to the ring and Swagger hands over the briefcase.  Chioda clears out the microphones and other debris from the Edge/Jericho altercation.  Jericho gets to his feet and Chioda calls for the bell.

Jack Swagger def. Chris Jericho to become the New World Heavyweight Champion!

Swagger drops Jericho with a pumphandle slam and pins him to win the World Heavyweight Championship.  Let me repeat that – JACK SWAGGER IS THE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION!

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

R-Truth is in the hizzouse, and even he seems like he’s tired of singing that stupid song.  Apparently, their 3 minute loss to ShoMiz at WrestleMania hasn’t deterred Truth and John Morrison from teaming, since that’s what we’ve got going on here.  Their opponents?

Yep.  Cryme Tyme.

John Morrison and R-Truth def. Cryme Tyme

This didn’t last long.  Truth did the work, Morrison nailed Starship Pain, and JTG didn’t even wind up in the match.

JTG looks stunned by how badly his team sucks.  He gets in the ring to check on Shad.  Shad wonders why JTG didn’t have his back, then shoves him.  He nails him with a big boot.  Shad drives his knees into the ribs of JTG, then punches him in the face.  An STO from Shad, and it looks like Cryme Tyme is no more.

Jack Swagger is walking backstage.  He stops to get congratulations from Tony Atlas, Slam Master J, and Mickie James.  He sees Sisqo in the hall and says that they should call him the gold standard now.  What?  That was Shelton Benjamin?  Are you sure?  I could’ve sworn it was Sisqo…

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

That tool, Josh Matthews is standing by with Shad Gaspard.  Shad says that there’s no more time.  No more Cryme Tyme.  It’s Shad’s time.

Drew McIntyre is here with his awesome entrance.  The Intercontinental Champion is set for action against one of his Money In The Bank opponents from this past Sunday, Matt Hardy.

Before Hardy can get into the ring, however, McIntyre attacks him.  He tosses Hardy shoulder first into the ringpost, then nails him with the FutureShock.  He gets his belt and stands tall over Hardy.

John Cena is going to be on True Jackson, V.P. tomorrow.  The funny thing is, I checked my local listings – Cena’s episode doesn’t appear to be on.

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

Earlier Tonight: Jack Swagger cashed in Money In The Bank and won the World Heavyweight Championship.  Jericho threw a temper tantrum afterward.

Video: Shawn Michaels’ farewell to the WWE Universe.  Once again, thank you, Shawn Michaels.  Tell me a lie, and say that you won’t go…

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

Vickie Guerrero is complaining to LayCool about how everybody’s calling her finisher the Hog Splash.  Jack Swagger walks in and asks where Teddy Long is.  Vickie says she can help him.  He wants to give a “State of the Championship Address” tonight.  Vickie says he can have all the time he wants.  He turns to leave, but stops to give Vickie a kiss on the cheek.  Vickie tells LayCool that he’ll make a great champion.

The Great Khali is still employed, and so is his brother Ranjin Singh.  I know this because they’re walking to the ring.  Khali is in action, NEXT!

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

I am perfection…

WrestleCrap just turned ten, if you haven’t heard.  The first induction of their double digits years happens to include Dolph Ziggler from back when he was Nicky in the Spirit Squad.

Dolph Ziggler def. The Great Khali

Khali starts off on the offense.  Ziggler rolls out of the ring to buy himself a second to regroup.  Khali pulls him back in by the hair – or at least tries to.  Ziggler hotshots Khali over the top rope.  He gets back in and puts Khali in the sleeper.  Khali fights out of it, but drops to a knee, allowing Ziggler to lock the hold back in.  Khali tries to get to the ropes, and gets a foot on the bottom rope but the referee doesn’t notice it, despite Ranjin’s attempts to get his attention. Khali fades to sleep and the referee calls for the bell.

After the match, Khali announces, through Ranjin, that he’s going to return to India to spend time with his family and rebuild his strength and stamina, and when he returns he’ll become World Champion.

The Straight Edge Society are walking backstage, which means we’ll see them – NEXT!

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

This past Sunday: Avatar beat G.I. Joe at WrestleMania.

The Straight Edge society make their way to the ring, and they’ve got a special challenge for Rey Mysterio.  Luke Gallows praises CM Punk for saving him, and says he can save you too.  Look at the transformation he’s gone through since CM Punk saved him.  Punk takes the microphone, but the crowd boos him, so he hands it to Serena.  She asks for everybody to show some respect.  Punk is perfect in every way.  He’s selfless and he’s remarkable.  He’s a healer.  If we’d look into his beautiful eyes, we’d see that he is not blinded by a world of sin and addiction.  CM Punk can save you, just like he did Serena and Luke Gallows.  If it weren’t for Punk, they’d be like the fans.  Serena sees a sea of demons in the crowd, and when she looks at Punk, she sees an angel.  Punk says that if there ever was a city that needed to be saved, Las Vegas is it.  He envies those of us at home, simply because we’re not there.  If we’ve never been there, he explains that you can get an alcoholic beverage 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year.  You can smoke in any public place without fear of reprisal (really?  Count me out).  And the people cheer for these things in support of an inexplicable theory that what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.  Punk says it’s a lie.  Vegas is filled with people lying to themselves, just like Rey Mysterio.  What happened at ‘Mania wasn’t supposed to happen.  Punk was supposed to save Mysterio on the grandest stage of them all.  Mysterio needs straight edge.  Like all the people in Vegas, he needs CM Punk.  Mysterio would be Punk’s crown jewel to show that anybody can be saved by Straight Edge.  Punk won’t give up though.  Punk wants a rematch, and he knows that Mysterio thinks there’s nothing in it for him, but Punk will sacrifice something very important.  Something free of foreign chemicals, something that represents Punk’s eternal purity, his position as leader of the Straight Edge Society.  If Mysterio grants him the match and Punk loses, he’ll sacrifice his hair.  That’s how much Punk cares about Mysterio.  He’s willing to sacrifice a piece of himself just to save Mysterio.

Still to come tonight, it’s Jack Swagger’s State of the Championship address.

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

WrestleMania 27: 366 Days Away!

Team LayCool are accompanied by Vickie Guerrero, and they’ll be in tag team action.  Tiffany is out first for her team.  Her tag team partner is the hometown WWE hero of yours truly, Beth Phoenix.

Tiffany & Beth Phoenix def. Team LayCool

Ugh. I don’t care anymore.  Not that I cared before.  The heels cheat and the inexperienced member of the face team gets caught in their corner.  Then the face gets the tag in to her more experienced tag team partner, who beats the crap out of the heels.  Phoenix nails the Glam Slam on Layla, and picks up the win.

Teddy Long is watching the show on a monitor backstage when Chris Jericho comes in.  He tells T-Lo that he demands his World Championship back.  Long tells him he won’t do that, but he’ll give Jericho a rematch.  Jericho declines because of his injured ribs.  Long says if he doesn’t want his rematch tonight, he’s got nothing to talk to him about.  Jericho says Swagger won’t get away with this.  Jericho’s the champ, not Swagger.

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

Josh Matthews, that tool, is standing by with The Hart Dynasty.  Natalya is excited.  David Hart Smith is honored and privileged to be a part of Uncle Bret’s match.  Tyson is ready to carry on the tradition of excellence in the Hart family – then Jack Swagger walks in and holds up his title.

Kane is here, and after setting off his pyro, the Big Red Monster gets a microphone.  He says he’s bored.  When he’s bored, he gets frustrated.  A frustrated monster isn’t healthy for anybody, so he wants to take his frustration out on somebody.  So, he’s going to face the entire NXT roster, right now.

The NXT rookies head towards the ring, and this match is NEXT!

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

Kane def. The NXT Rookies

Daniel Bryan starts off things for the rookies in this elimination match.  Darren Young comes in off of the tag, but he doesn’t fare much better than Bryan did.  Young tags in Justin Gabriel, but he opts to let Wade Barrett come in instead.  Barrett holds his own, much like he did this past Tuesday on NXT, but unlike on NXT, Barrett gets eliminated.

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

Skip Sheffield is in the ring with Kane when we get back, but he’s not faring any better than any of his teammates.  Heath Slater tags himself in, but I’m betting he wishes he hadn’t.  Kane chokeslams Slater and pins him, bringing us down to a six on two.  Michael Tarver comes in next and is tossed over the top rope.  David Otunga gets in the ring, but thinks better of it.  The rookies huddle on the outside, then decide to surround the ring.  The six of them get in the ring and all try to gang up on Kane.  Bryan locks a sleeper in on Kane, who continues to fight off the other rookies.  The rookies finally take down Kane, but the referee calls for the bell, disqualifying the remaining rookies.

After the match, Bryan nails a top rope dropkick, Sheffield hits a splash, and Gabriel nails a picture perfect 450 splash.  Kane sits up, but the rookies escape.

In case you missed it the first four times: Jack Swagger cashed in his Money In The Bank contract and defeated Chris Jericho to win the World Heavyweight Champion.

Up next, Jack Swagger’s State of the Championship address.

<COMMERCIAL BREAK>

Jack Swagger is all business as he heads to the ring as the World Heavyweight Champion for the very first time.  He says this is the first of many State of the Championship addresses that he will give.  He’s prepared a few statements.  He congratulates the fans on being a part of history as witnesses to Jack Swagger winning the World Heavyweight Championship.  He says he’ll be champion for a long time, so the fans should show respect by giving him absolute silence until his speech is over.  He’s always been the odds on favorite in everything he’s set out to do.  He’s got the NCAA record for most pinfall victories.  He won the ECW Championship in 4 months.  He could’ve beaten 100 people in Money In The Bank.  This championship reign couldn’t come at a better time for all of us – we’ve now got our replacement for Shawn Michaels as the greatest living wrestler on the planet.  As his career progresses, he will…

BREAK THE WALLS DOWN!!!

Chris Jericho, the former World Heavyweight Champion, heads to the ring, and he tells Swagger to give him back his belt.  Swagger tells him that it’s his belt and Jericho can’t do anything about it.  Jericho says he’s the champion, not Swagger.  Swagger committed the biggest crime in WWE history tonight.  He stole the belt from Jericho, and Jericho wants it back.  Swagger’s lucky Jericho’s injured, but not so lucky because Jericho heals quickly.  Jericho wants this travesty righted right now.

You think you know me…

Edge heads down to the ring to join in the conversation.  Swagger steps outside to allow Edge to take up his issues with Jericho.  Edge says that if Swagger wants to show what kind of champion he’d be, he should face Edge.  Edge says that Swagger wouldn’t be champion right now if it weren’t for him.  Edge appreciates Swagger cashing in Money In The Bank – he calls it “well played.”  He can face somebody that’s not injured and not afraid to face him.  Jericho says Edge has no right to request the match.  Edge says that he’s the one that hit Jericho with two spears that caused him to be an ex champion.

You know it’s the Mack Militant…

Teddy Long says we’ve got a little “situration” here.  Jericho has a rematch but doesn’t want to take it.  Edge wants to take it, but he doesn’t have a rematch.  So, next week, Chris Jericho faces Edge, and the winner faces Jack Swagger for the World Heavyweight Championship.

Jericho nails Edge with the Codebreaker as Edge looks at Swagger.  Swagger nails Jericho with a Gutwrench Powerbomb, followed by one for Edge.  The World Heavyweight Champion stands tall with his belt held high as SmackDown goes off the air.

My Thoughts: Holy freakin’ crap.  I knew about it.  I read the spoilers, I knew it was coming – but there was still a part of me that thought “hell, they could just edit that out – it’s a huge April Fool’s joke from the WWE.”  And much like JT’s prediction that this would be the year of the first Money In The Bank loss, that thought was WRONG!  WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG!  Holy crap.  Jack Swagger – Your World Heavyweight Champion!

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