WWE SmackDown Review – 3/13/09By thinksojoe · · 1 Comment
It’s time for the second Friday The Thirteenth episode of SmackDown this year – with one more to go, being mine and JT’s birthday in November! I have no idea what’s booked for tonight, so we’ll find out as we go along!
SmackDown review after the jump!
Last Monday on RAW, John Cena got himself added to the World Heavyweight Championship match at WrestleMania, and revealed security tapes showing Vickie Guerrero making out with The Big Show while Edge was in the shower.
The SmackDown theme plays – but oddly enough, the show-opening bumper (yes sir, we promised you a great main event) didn’t air. Random observation. Anyways, the pyro goes off, and according to the HD entrance, we’re 30 days away from WrestleMania – when we’re only 23 days away. Anyways, Undertaker takes on Vladimir Kozlov, and Matt Hardy tells all, later on tonight. But first…
You think you know me…
The World Heavyweight Champion is here and dressed for competition. Justin Roberts informs us that this match is scheduled for one fall, confirming that Edge is here to wrestle. His opponent is from RAW, and his name is Kofi Kingston!
Edge def. Kofi Kingston
Brand extension? What brand extension? DeeJay from Super Street Fighter II is here from RAW and wrestling SmackDown’s World Heavyweight Champion. The announcers talk about how Edge may not have had time to train with everything that must be on his mind from this past Monday. They also make a mention of Edge taking Kofi out before the Elimination Chamber at No Way Out. In the end, Kofi leapfrogs out of a spear, rolling Edge up in a Sunset Flip for a two count. He goes for Trouble In Paradise, but Edge catches him and locks him in the Sharpshooter! Nowhere near the ropes, Kofi has no choice but to tap out!
Later tonight, we’ll revisit what happened this past Monday at Randy Orton’s house. But up next, The Miz and John Morrison put their World Tag Team Championships on the line against the WWE Tag Team Champions, Primo and Carlito!
The Two Time Slammy Award Winning World Tag Team Champions are out to defend their titles. Their opponents tonight already have a set of belts. They’re the WWE Tag Team Champions, Primo and Carlito, and they’re accompanied by the Bella Twins.
The Miz and John Morrison def. Primo and Carlito to retain the World Tag Team Championship.
Carlito tries for an early victory, utilizing backslides and rollups in an attempt to catch the Guru of Greatness, John Morrison off guard. Primo tries to utilize the same strategy when he and The Miz become the legal men. When they swing things back into their favor, the World Tag Team Champions utilize their unique double team offense while cutting Carlito off from Primo. In the end, it’s John Morrison connecting with the Moonlight Drive to put Carlito down for the count.
After the match, The Miz and John Morrison approach the Bella Twins, who leave with the Dirt Sheet Duo. The one with Morrison doesn’t look too thrilled, but the one with The Miz seems happy.
Later on tonight, The Undertaker takes on Vladimir Kozlov, but up next, we’ll relive the horrible acting that was the end of Monday Night RAW.
“War Machine” by AC/DC is one of several theme songs for WrestleMania 25. Why do they keep calling it the 25th Anniversary? It’s really the 24th Anniversary – it’s the 25th Annual.
Anyways, I digress. We’re treated to the horribly edited Randy Orton segments from this past Monday on RAW. It was edited down to just a couple of minutes, and it still went on way too long.
R-Truth apparently finally figured out where the backstage area is, because he actually came through the entrance instead of through the crowd. It doesn’t matter – he’s cut off for a…
The on screen graphic confirms that I was correct in my calculation that WrestleMania is only 23 days away.
MVP is on his way to the ring, he’s teaming with R-Truth. Their opponents, Shelton Benjamin and Chavo Guerrero are in the ring.
Shelton Benjamin & Chavo Guerrero def. MVP & R-Truth
When did Shelton Benjamin qualify for Money In The Bank? I apparently missed it, because I thought he was still doing the feud with Chavito and R-Truth over the US Championship. Sad part is, I probably reviewed his qualifying match. In the end, it’s The Gold Standard dropping MVP with Pay Dirt to earn his team the victory.
Matt Hardy is ready to tell all – NEXT!
WWE SMACK OF THE WEEK: Matt Hardy attacked Shelton Benjamin, getting his brother Jeff disqualified and leading to The Gold Standard qualifying for Money In The Bank. See, I did review it, just a week ago!
OH YEAH! WOO!
Matt Hardy can slap a tornato, but apparently can’t escape male pattern baldness. The elder Hardy is here to “tell all.” He’s already got a microphone, and he tells us that the black cloud continues to loom over Jeff Hardy’s head, and will continue to do so until Jeff sucks it up and decides to fight Matt. Matt wants to get some things off his chest. He tried to tell these things to Jeff, but of course, he wouldn’t listen. Jeff’s been through a lot of ups and downs, highs and lows. He couldnt’ compete in WrestleMania last year because he was suspended. Matt, on the other hand, couldn’t compete because he was injured. Nobody cared though, they were all too worried about Jeff. Is he getting the help he needs? Will he come back? What is he thinking? Jeff didn’t have a care in the world, he went about business as usual – he recorded songs, he painted pictures, and everybody expected Matt to come in and pick up the pieces. Jeff suffered a very unfortunate amount of accidents – he was attacked in a stairwell, his car was run off the road, the pyro. Who could’ve done these things? A group of people? Maybe it was just one person. There’s one day that Matt remembers very strongly, shortly after Jeff’d been suspended. His music blasting, dog barking, and Jeff and Beth decided to leave the house. While they were gone, Matt called and told them that their house was on fire. Matt couldn’t go outside and watch it, he could only picture it in his mind, Jeff losing everything he’d worked so hard for. Jeff asked him, Matt, what about my dog? What about Jack? Is he ok? We all know what happened to poor little Jack. He didn’t make it. Sometimes, accidents turn into tragedies that are incredibly hard to believe. Matt pulls out a piece of a dog collar from his pocket. Remember this, Jeff? What’s left of it, anyway? Matt found it the day after everything Jeff owned went down in flames, it was in a heap of ashes, and Matt’s been hanging on to it ever since. He thought he’d give it to him when the time is right. The time is right now. He wants to give it to Jeff as a token of his love. His love for his brother, Jeff Hardy.
Jeff makes his way down to the ring, no music, no pyro, no flash or flare. He steps into the ring, circles his brother. He snatches the microphone from Matt’s hand, and says that it’s hard to believe. Matt’s behind all this – the stairwell, the car crash, the pyro. He never thought his own brother could be capable of something so horrible. Why does he have to bring up his house and his dog? Matt wants to hurt him, doesn’t he? Matt hates him, doesn’t he? Matt doesn’t love him, he hates him. But Matt hates himself more than he could ever know. He’s sick, twisted, demented… and so is Jeff! Jeff hauls off on his brother, wailing away on him until Matt can escape under the bottom rope. Matt sits on the ground, pleading with Jeff, apologizing and telling him he loves him. A distraught Jeff sits in the ring as Matt walks up the aisle. Matt stops momentarily and smiles before continuing on to the back.
Before the break, Jeff Hardy attacked Matt Hardy after weeks – nay, months – of torment from his older brother.
WWE Divas Champion Maryse and Michelle McCool are in the ring. We see highlights from this past Monday where what started off as a brawl between SmackDown and RAW Divas ended with the face Divas standing tall after sending the heel Divas scattering. Maria makes her way out, and her tag team partner is the WWE Women’s Champion, Melina. So much for brand loyalty.
Melina & Maria def. Maryse & Michelle
I cared so much about this match that I spent the entire time using the Compare Friends app on Facebook. Melina scored the win with a rollup on Maryse.
After the match, the losing team start brawling with one another.
Edge is freaking out backstage about the security camera footage and his triple threat match at WrestleMania. How could Vickie cheat on him? He’s a loyal, devoted husband! Chavo talks about hooking up with Vickie. She’s only his aunt by marriage, after all. Edge goes nuts and says that nobody will take his title away from him!
Up next: Finlay vs. The Brian Kendrick in a Money In The Bank qualifier!
WrestleMania Moment: WrestleMania XX. This should be interesting. John Cena won his first championship in the WWE, and Eddie Guerrero scammed Kurt Angle out of a victory, retaining his WWE Championship in the process. Not surprisingly, the World Heavyweight Championship changing hands didn’t get mentioned…
Finlay makes his way to the ring with Hornswoggle. The Brian Kendrick follows, accompanied by Ezikiel Jackson. Zeke decks Finlay before the bell, and referee Charles Robinson checks to make sure Finlay still wants to compete.
Finlay def. The Brian Kendrick to qualify for the Money In The Bank Ladder Match
Big Zeke plays a huge role in this match, distracting Finlay at one point and allowing The Brian Kendrick to hit a high flying move and take control. It doesn’t matter in the end though, as Finlay drops Kendrick with the Celtic Cross for the victory.
Up next: The Undertaker battles Vladimir Kozlov!
“So Hott” by Kid Rock is apparently one of the theme songs for WrestleMania 25. Why?!?
Guess who doesn’t give a crap about John Cena’ s new movie.
We get a rundown of the WrestleMania card – which includes the newly announced Jeff Hardy vs. Matt Hardy!
The bell tolls, and The Undertaker makes his entrance. His match is NEXT!
WWE REWIND: Two weeks ago, Vladimir Kozlov defeated The Undertaker on SmackDown.
Vladimir Kozlov heads to the ring as JR mentions that he’s never lost on Friday Night SmackDown.
The Undertaker def. Vladimir Kozlov
This match is a brawl, but the Undertaker manages to pick up the victory after scoring with Old School, a Chokeslam, and the Tombstone.
After the match, The Undertaker stands in the ring for a moment and looks up at the WrestleMania 25 sign. He then kneels and does his trademark pose as SmackDown goes off the air.
My Thoughts: Well, first off I should point out that by the end of the show it indeed said “23 Days Away” on the entrance. I assume they just used last week’s intro, since the show was taped at the same place.
The best segment of this week’s show had to be the promo between the Hardys. The facial expressions alone sold the raw emotion going in to their WrestleMania matchup.
I’m surprised the WWE didn’t re-air the Hall of Fame piece on Koko B. Ware. I had this video cued up all night:
Overall it was a pretty good show, but by the second half I just didn’t really care anymore. I played around on facebook during the Divas match, and was solving a Rubik’s Cube (yes, folks, I can do it!) during the Undertaker/Kozlov match.
That’s it for me this week, JT will likely have an early edition of Random Randomness this weekend, and Drowgoddess will be along with TNA Destination zzz X on Monday before I rejoin you for RAW Monday night (or more likely, Tuesday morning). Have a great weekend, everybody!
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The Hardys part was grand! Honestly, their feud never would have worked before, but now, it's just about perfect.