Wow, it’s Thursday already… And like a ritual of shame, pain and self-abuse, I will be reviewing the outlandish lack of action that is Total Nonstop Apologies. This week I hear that they installed a convex glass dome over the entire ring (now with 3 sides), and sealed 7 men inside in what had been dubbed a Suffocation match! Each wrestler will try to stay alive the longest until all participants are dead… THERE WILL BE NO WINNER!
The sad thing is, that would probably be the longest match on iMPACT in months. Let’s see what “really” happened.
Last night, Ariane Andrew became (in)famous on WWE Tough Enough when she was asked for her favorite match ever. She said Melina and Alicia Fox. Now I have been watching wrestling for over 15 years (though there were stretches where I lost interest). I’ve seen plenty of matches, too. I don’t know about this Alicia Fox-Melina match, but I’m pretty sure I’ve seen better. Just in case the proverbial gun is to my head, I wanted to come up with a list of some of my favorite matches. These are by no means the best. These are the ones I would call my favorite matches. I’m not ranking these. Some of them you will agree with. Some are special to me for one reason or another.
1. Savage-Steamboat, Wrestlemania III-I remember watching this match when I saw Wrestlemania III for the first time. I had started getting into wrestling and I wanted to watch anything and everything I could find. My local video store was The Video Library, a mom and pop store back before Blockbuster ruled everything with an iron fist. They had Survivor Series ’91, Wrestlemania III and a few others. WM3 had Hogan and Andre on the cover. How could I not rent it? And of course I fell in love with the Savage-Steamboat match. It was such a tense, dramatic match. I’m sure many people would have this in Top 5 of all time.
2. Chris Benoit-Kevin Sullivan, Falls Count Anywhere Match, Great American Bash ’96-Yes, I said the name Chris Benoit. Regardless of how you feel about him, I am talking about this match, not the person who killed his wife, son and self. There was so much intensity and hatred between these two men. And this was the first fight I’d ever seen go to the men’s restroom. The best part was Dusty Rhodes on commentary. “There’th a woman in the men’th westwoom! There’th a woman in the men’th westwoom!” And then after the match when Arn Anderson turned on Kevin Sullivan, another awesome memory. When I first heard that he had died, and before I knew he was the number one suspect in his murder-suicide, this was the match I watched.
3. Stone Cold-Bret Hart, I Quit Match Wrestlemania XIII-Ken Shamrock as guest referee, Jerry Lawler & Jim Ross on commentary. This was such a hot intense feud. Bret Hart was beginning his anti-American Hart Foundation persona, and Stone Cold was about to embark on being one of the top stars in wrestling of all time. And in this fight, there was blood. The blood flowed out of Austin’s forehead like I had never seen before. And Austin never gave up, but Ken Shamrock awarded the match to Bret Hart. This was a watershed moment in the attitude era.
4. Johnny Kashmere & Justice Pain-Jun Kazai & Nick Mondo, CZW Un-f’n-believable-I’m sure most wrestling fans would scoff at this one being in my list. But this is my list. Make your own. This match had all the drama you could ever want. They were feuding factions. This was “Fans Bring the Weapons,” and wrestling fans are very creative. This was intense and bloody, very bloody. The match was everything the title says. It really was un-f’ing-believable. This put CZW on my map, love it or hate it.
5. Vince McMahon-Shane McMahon, Wrestlemania X-7-I know. This is not the most technical match ever. But there were so many storylines that were built up here. Shane had just “bought” WCW from his dad. Linda was in the wheelchair from the meds Trish was giving her. Mick Foley was the guest referee. The moment that Linda stood up, I stood up in my Arlington home for the pure emotion of it all. And if I remember correctly, there was a Van Terminator from Shane.
6. Eddie Guerrero-Rey Misterio Jr., Halloween Havoc ’97, Mask vs. Title-This is my redemption for the above two matches. The build-up to this match was awesome. When Eddie was a heel, he had no equal. He had unmasked Rey on WCW Saturday night. As useless as Tony Schiavone was, the look of disdain on his face, covering Rey with his jacket, they were both so perfect. And in this match, you didn’t know if Rey was going to lose or not. I spent the match on pins and needles waiting for the bell to ring. Out of Eddie’s and Rey’s many matches together, this one was my favorite.
7. Randy Orton-Cactus Jack, Backlash ’04-I hated the whole Orton spitting on my hero Mick Foley. And I hated it even more when he did nothing. But I read on the Internet this was Foley’s idea, and I just decided to sit back and let Foley be Foley. But we went to the PPV at the movie theater that carried the PPV’s. The match was a thing of beauty. Now, not graceful Eddie-Rey beauty, but more like a “Terry Funk-Sabu, you’re going to be able to count the number of visible tendons” beauty. When my then-fiance and I saw the thumbtacks getting laid out, we were both saying, “Oh, Foley’s going to be diving into those.” And then Orton took the bump, and our jaws both hit the floor. I had not really respected Orton yet, but when he did that, I had a newfound respect for him that I still carry to this day.
8. Kurt Angle-Rey Misterio Jr., some Smackdown-I have no idea what it was, but Angle and Misterio had the greatest chemistry together. Misterio beat him out of nowhere. And the best part of the match was the post-match interview with Angle. “I just got pinned by a 12-year-old. Some kid barely old enough to mow my lawn beat me.” Angle and Misterio had some great matches. This was just the beginning.
9. Mr. Pogo & Terry Funk-Hayabusa & Masato Tanaka, FMW 5-5-96-Yes, this match is pretty much bloody stumps galore. There was barb wire, explosives, pretty much everything you’ve always heard about wrestling but didn’t know it existed. The drama of the guys about to go into the barb wire and then stopping is so gripping. You get Mr. Pogo and his knives. Hayabusa nearly had his mask ripped off. After the match, you can hear Terry Funk repeating, “I don’t need no f***ing stitches” and insults at Atsushi Onita.
10. Kristopher Haiden, Carrion Arcane, Frankie Fisher & Matt Andrews vs. WASP, Gregory James, Seph Annunaki & James Hawke, ladder match, MPX All on the Line- This match is unique as this is the only one I’ve ever seen live. It is also important that this was the day I met the guy now dating my sister-in-law (and the way these kids talk, he might be the brother-in-law before too long), so you know there are some emotional attachments this has for me. This is what I wrote about this the morning after:
“What can you say about this match? I’m not sure that I’ve ever seen a better match than this live. All ten guys gave everything live. I always praise this company for the little things. The wrestlers came out of the dressing room to watch. It reminded me a lot of old ECW when the boys all used to watch from the aisle. The only negative is that at the beginning of the fight, there was too much action going on.
“I counted the number of “Holy s***” moments for me. I had 9. There were a few that happened on the other side from where I was sitting, so I think there were a few more. At one point, we had dueling Van Terminators with ladders. There was a different spot where the two Kyles were climbing up the ladder at the same time, made it to the top and both threw baby powder at each other. It was awesome. We had Gregory James do the lucha libre plancha spot onto the 5 or 6 guys. He also did a conchairto on top of the ladder to Frankie Fisher. Haiden was already bleeding and took an insane bump onto two tables. Being that we know him outside of the business, it was difficult for my wife and some other people who knew him. It’s one thing to watch the Dudleys on Monday Night Raw back in the day; it’s another thing to watch our friend go through the tables. All I know is that my buddy took a table bump that would have made Sabu smile in approval.
“There are very few things in this business that surprise me still. I will admit I got worked when Bryan Danielson was the 7th member of Team WWE. That’s probably the last time somebody worked me that I never saw coming. Matt Andrews took the belt and the briefcase. He asked for the mic and thanked Genesis for getting him to where he was, but now that he was the champion, he was done with them. He fired all of them, climbed down the ladder, threw the briefcase on Seph and said, ‘I don’t care about this. You can have it.’
“What an insane, breath-taking main event. I guess one of the best compliments we can give the night is that my sister-in-law took her new boyfriend to wrestling for the first time last night. On the way home, he asked, ‘Do they do that all the time?’ I’ve said my peace about everything else that night. Great main event made for a great night.”
11. El Hijo del Santo & Octagon-Art Barr & Eddie Guerrero, Mask vs. Hair, WCW When Worlds Collide-I’m a total El Santo mark, so the importance of El Santo, El Hijo del Santo and his mask are so important to me. There was no greater heel faction in Mexico than the Gringos Locos (Barr, Guerrero, Konnan & Louie Spicolli). Oh, yeah, and Octagon is one of those guys I ALWAYS mark out for. There was such intensity in that match. And Eddie lost his mullet.
12. Ice Train-Scott Norton, Some episode of WCW Worldwide (I think)-Again, this is no Ring of Honor 5-star match. Nobody else probably remembers this match, but I do. The story of it was so awesome. Scott Norton & Ice Train were very similar wrestlers, and they mirrored each other. They couldn’t beat the other. Since both were on the same level on the card, you had no idea who was going to win. It even went to a time limit draw, and thus was born the tag team of Fire & Ice.
13. Chris Benoit-Dean Malenko, WCW Hog Wild ’96-Again, if you are offended by me using Chris Benoit’s name, I apologize. Benoit and Malenko had such an amazing chemistry. They were awesome together in the ring. First the match went 15 minutes. Then it was given 5 more minutes. Then it was given 5 more minutes. Finally Nancy “Woman” Benoit interfered and won the match for Benoit.
14. Undertaker-Mankind, Hell in a Cell, King of the Ring ‘98-I know. No points for originality. This is very well-documented. And if you’ve never read his account of it, read “Have a Nice Day” by Mick Foley. There were two major bumps: first was where Mick was thrown onto the table. That was planned. The second one was when the Undertaker choke-slammed Foley and the cage gave way and Foley fell to the ring. And then the chair fell on top of him. The amount of punishment that Foley took was insane.
15. Tommy Dreamer-Brian Lee, ECW Scaffold match-The Tommy Dreamer-Raven feud could not have been any hotter. With respect to Sabu-Taz, it was quite possibly ECW’s biggest feud. Brian Lee was part of Raven’s group in ECW and had made it his goal to end Tommy Dreamer’s career. There was a rickety scaffold built over a ring piled up in tables 3-deep. There was so much drama over who was going to be the first to fall. And Brian Lee went through the tables in an incredible moment.
So, just in case Stone Cold ever asks me, I have it all written down. What are your favorites?
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Author note:I, unfortunately, have to leave my house at 8PM on weeknights, and therefore miss RAW live as it happens. As AlyKat was unable to cover the show tonight, I offered to do so and keep the Tweets going in the review. I reviewed the show first, and added in Tweets later. Thank you to all of you who used the #BWF hashtag to make it easier on me!
Let the fallout from WrestleMania XXVII begin! I know for a fact that Steve Austin and The Rock are confirmed for the show, and that Daniel Bryan will challenge Sheamus for the WWE United States Championship, unless they decide to bump it again. I hear we’re supposed to go until 11:15 or later, so let’s get this review on the road – the road to WrestleMania XXVIII!
First of all, before I get any further into this, I want to thank everybody that’s joined us and our friends at Wonderpod Online this past week for our Celebration of Professional Wrestling. Anyways, I, like always, watched WrestleMania amongst friends, and as such, I didn’t want to sit there with a computer on my lap writing about what I’m watching on television. So as such, this will be a quick recap with my thoughts on this year’s Granddaddy of ’em All!
Wrestlemania 27 is in the books. My initial thoughts were it was pretty bad. Considering the fact it was Wrestlemania, that makes it pretty awful. It was like a double-stuffed Raw. And it wouldn’t have even been a good Raw. It conjures up a lot of comparisons to what most people consider to be the worst Wrestlemania – #9.
First of all, I loved the pageantry and the excess of it all. This is their spectacle. The WWE knows how to do big at Wrestlemania, and I think they should get the credit they deserve. The pyro, the big-ness of everything, the video packages (especially the Miz’), it had the feel of a big event, production values-wise.
I love The Rock. I really do (though nowhere near as much as my wife does). But having him there was completely pointless. When I think that Sheamus and Daniel Bryan had to cut their match short so The Rock could do his nonsensical promo, it makes me mad. Relax. I’m not one of those “You sold out” fans that think wrestlers should do nothing but wrestle all their lives. Dwayne Johnson has made a nice name for himself in Hollywood. I have moved on. He is not a wrestler anymore. I don’t want to see him in the ring, unless he’s talking. He showed up at the arena 2 times in a 6-week period. What in the Blue Hell has The Rock done to deserve that lengthy promo at the beginning? Recently? I think that is the biggest slap in the face to the Daniel Bryans and Sheamuses and the other wrestlers who have given everything. Hell, even The Great Khali did more to earn that promo than The Rock did. Instead of giving that time to The Rock, they should have been giving time to wrestlers who will become the next Rock. The focal point of this Pay-Per-View was somebody who hasn’t been in a wrestling ring since Ric Flair was active (Wait…).
Relax. I’m not a hater. I’m happy to see The Rock. I loved the Mae Young skit, and I loved the PeeWee Herman thing. How do you not? What I have a problem with is making a person who should no longer be the focus being the focus. Roy Halladay may retire as one of the greatest pitchers in baseball history. But if every time he is supposed to pitch, he is replaced by Steve Carlton, he will never be able to take the spotlight he deserves. Rock, you are the Great One. But somewhere in that WWE locker room could be the next “Great One.” WWE, get him out of the way.
(I would like to say in his defense that The Rock never held another wrestler “down.” The dude put over The Hurricane. I don’t see him holding a wrestler down here. I just see him being over-utilized.)
The first match had some really nice drama. I love the submission hold and the drama of “Is he going to tap?” I was waiting for the Christian heel turn that never came. It was fun watching them destroy the car, but really, shouldn’t that have been done on Smackdown!?
Cody-Rey was a decently done match. I wanted to see Dusty (but it makes sense that he not appear in Atlanta, as there is no way that Atlanta crowd would boo “The American Dream”).
All the skits were pretty funny. I loved Regal rapping. I marked out like a 13-year-old girl when I saw Rowdy Roddy Piper (There are 3 wrestlers I mark out for: Piper, Undertaker & Arn Anderson). I loved Mae Young pinching the Rock’s “candy ass” and wanting the “People’s Strudel.” And of course, Pee Wee Herman and Mean Gene were great. I like the Rock/Stone cold face-off, but as I said previously, I’ve moved on.
The 8-man with the Corre was insulting to those 8 wrestlers who have given everything.
Orton-Punk stole the show, in-ring wise. I hope this feud is over. There were some incredible athletic things that happened here. Neither person lost anything in this match.
The Cole-Lawler… “whatever you want to call it” was fine and had some entertaining moments. I loved Swagger throwing in the towel and Austin looking at it clueless and then wiping his head with it. The image of Cole against the glass was great, too. Loved how there were 3 stunners. And the best part was JR-King calling the rest of the night.
The Undertaker-Triple H match was everything we had hoped it would be. The entrances were phenomenal. The drama was sensational. There was no announce table still left standing. Nobody interfered (and goodness knows, between the two’s sins, anybody could have attacked either one and be justified). The drama of HHH grabbing the sledgehammer and Taker putting him in the rear naked choke. (Young wrestlers, you take a look at the drama that can be created through a submission hold like ADR’s or Undertaker’s. You don’t need to do a 1260 splash onto plates of glass to get a crowd going.) Triple-H tapped out at Wrestlemania. The cart was a nice touch. The people I was there with and my timeline on Twitter couldn’t tell whether Taker was ok or not.
The Snooki match was everything it should have been. The former cheerleader did her backspring thing and then pinned Michelle McCool. A lot of people were complaining about this match going on next-to-last. This was the best possible match they could have placed there. I remember a very wise blogger saying “There are going to be some very emotional matches at Wrestlemania. Triple H-Undertaker is going to be a very emotional match, as will Edge-Del Rio and whatever else they come across. There needs to be a moment the crowd gets to unwind from the tension and emotion. Whether we like it or not, this is going to be one of those matches.” Somebody had to follow HHH-Taker. Would you rather it be a legitimate match or the Snooki “match?” They got their TMZ moment.
The main event was really disappointing. The best part about those was the video packages before-hand. The Miz video package, for lack of a better word, was awesome. The John Cena package was well-done, but the music was way too religious for his character. I’m sure nothing screams religious connotations nothing more than the “5-Knuckle Shuffle” or the “STFU.” (<-heavy sarcasm) I loved the choir, though I really couldn’t figure out their purpose. Maybe I’m just being paranoid, but I think his background kinda looked like a Confederate flag. John Cena just cannot win. First he becomes the target for GLAAD after dropping some homophobic slurs which we know he did not write. Now he gets to walk out to the ring with a Confederate flag-like logo while a predominantly-Black choir sings. Next, I think for an encore, he will kick puppies. The match wasn’t mind-blowing, but the two did a very good job with their intensity. I did pop for Rock reading the email from the Raw GM. I have no idea where they’re going with The Rock’s interference. Right now, I don’t really want to know.
As we sit on the doorstep of the showcase of the Immortals, WrestleMania 27, I’d like to thank everyone involved in this project, especially you noble websurfer. We’re one hour away from the event itself, and we shall consider this the closing ceremonies, if you will. (more…)
Our Celebration of Professional Wrestling continues!
This weekend is very special for Professional Wrestling. See, friends, we’re approaching a very special WrestleMania. What makes this one so special, you ask? Well, on its own merit, it’s a fantastically-booked card, one of the best WrestleManias, on paper, in YEARS. A decade, in fact. A decade since WrestleMania X-Seven, the closest rival WrestleMania III has had to date, for the crown of “Best WrestleMania of all time.” A decade since WrestleMania X-Seven, the Last Hurrah of the Attitude Era, and the last great wrestling boom.
The following comes to us courtesy of Al Creed from Wonderpod-Online.com AND The Cultural Revolution
Our Celebration of Professional Wrestling continues!
I always enjoy watching wrestling with a good, chatty crowd. When I saw this Wrestlemania, the running commentary was pretty enjoyable. The show was a little less so; with the exception of a few matches the show felt a little “meh” – nothing downright terrible, just not terribly exciting. Won’t go into a lot of detail on each match, just some thoughts on each.
The following comes to us courtesy of Jonkind from Wonderpod-Online.com
Given that we are celebrating all things pro wrestling this week, and particularly this weekend, the timing on this tidbit was too good to not share. Making its way ’round the Interwebs is this little gem: (more…)
