Well here’s the results from this week’s Main Event or should I say Mark Henry’s Main Event:

(more…)

Let’s start with…

MATCH RESULTS

1.) R-TRUTH DEF. ANTONIO CESARO – This was kind of a weird match.  Cesaro dominates using his strength and wear-down holds on Truth, until Cesaro misses a clothesline.  Truth takes over with fast-strikes, (mostly kicks,) and gets the win with the face-drop.

Rytman Remark: What is with the R-Truth winning streak?  Are they building him up to challenge Ziggler?  And why R-Truth as opposed to…anybody else?

Side Note: The less said about Cesaro yodeling the better.

2.) DAMIEN SANDOW (w/Cody Rhodes) DEF. BRODUS CLAY (w/”Sweet T” and the Funkadactyls) – Team Rhodes Scholars (Sandow/Cody Rhodes,) come out without the Bellas for the second time this month.  Clay tosses Sandow around with ease, until Sandow takes control with a combo of short-range strikes and mat-wrestling.  Match ends with Cody distracting Brodus and Sandow getting a roll-up with a handful of tights for the three-count.

Rytman Remark: Without a Bellas/Funkadactyls cat-fight, this feud really has no point.

3.) ZIGGLER (w/AJ and Big E.) DEF. CHRIS JERICHO – First really good, solid match of the night.  The first high point is Dolph faking out Jericho and sliding out to score a kiss from AJ, and Jericho responding w/a drop-kick to the back of the head.  Ziggler dominates until he gets cocky, and Jericho uses his agility and high-flying moves to make a come-back.  Jericho locks in the “Walls of Jericho,” and just when it looks like Ziggler will tap…

#DADA-DA-DA-DA-DADA…

Yup, Fandango’s music hits, and a distracted Jericho takes a Zig-Zag from Ziggler, who gets the pin.

Rytman Remark: Sorry to see a loss for Jericho, but Ziggy needed the win here.

4.) “SWEET T” (w/Brodus Clay & the Funkadactyls) DEF. CODY RHODES (w/Damian Sandow)– Pretty much the same match we saw earlier (see Brodus/Sandow,) with the exception of “Sweet T” holding Cody up in the air for a long time (ala Davy Boy Smith’s standing vertical suplex.) Brodus and the Funkadactyls try to get the crowd going with mixed results.  Sandow interferes but Brodus takes him down with a head-butt charge, and “T” catches Cody’s attempted “Beautiful Disaster” kick.  “T” gets a three-count, and we get a dance party.

Rytman Remark:

…

…

What do you wanna hear?  It was what it was.

5.) BIG E. DEF. ZACK RYDER – Ryder got in some offense, but this ended with the “Big Ending” by Langston for a three-count.

Rytman Remark: Let’s face it people, this is the best possible use for Ryder.  At least he’s getting TV time.

6.) THE SHIELD DEF. THE UNDERTAKER/WWE TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS TEAM HELL NO (KANE/DANIEL BRYAN) – The big match of the night.  Crowd was into this one before it even got started.  Taker makes his entrance alone, and is soon surrounded by the Shield. (See “Angles” below.) Team Hell No run-in just in time and the match gets going.

Taker’s team took control early w/quick and frequent tags and getting an “old school” spot on Ambrose (second attempt.) They double-teamed Ambrose, then Reigns.  The Shield took over on Kane when Reigns held him for a clothesline/running kick combo from Ambrose/Rollins.  Shield takes turns beating down Kane, but Kane gets Daniel Bryan in, and Bryan has huge crowd support.  He gets the “YES” chants going with every shot he lands until he misses a charging dropkick to Rollins in the corner.

Shield works over Bryan until Taker gets the hot tag.  Taker is in charge until Reigns gets a spear in.  Kane comes back in and takes over, bringing Bryan back in.  Taker/Kane get into a brawl w/Rollins & Reigns while D-Bry misses the flying head-butt.  Ambrose wraps him up and gets a three-count.

Rytman Remark: Sorry to see Taker get a loss, but putting over the Shield was the right thing to do.

7.) FANDANGO DEF. WILLIAM REGAL – Here’s a fun little surprise bonus.  Regal matches Fandango’s hip action w/a little step or two of his own.  The match ends quickly when Fandango catches Regal in the “Dip-DT,” (Copyright, Robert Rytman,) and gets the three-count.

Rytman Remark: Good to see Regal here in action.  Just now (sadly) realizing how awesome a Regal/Jericho tag team would’ve been.

8.) DIVA ROYAL – AJ, Layla, Naomi, Aksana, and Tamina.  Diva’s Champ Kaitlyn joins the announce team to scout this match.  The Bellas (according to the announce team) where disqualified from competing in this because of their illegal double team on Kaitlyn last week. (Author’s note: Dafuq?) AJ teases a kissing spot on Tamina, who responds with a kick to the face.  AJ spends the whole match out on her back (Author’s note: SHUT UP PERVS!) while the other ladies eliminate each other.

Layla is the last girl standing.  She tries to get AJ up and through the ropes while AJ sandbags her.  AJ ‘comes to” and kicks Layla out of the ring to win.

Rytman Remark: Okay, I get what they’re doing.  They don’t trust AJ to wrestle a whole match, so they book her to win, by making one smart move at the right time.  Not a horrible idea, but they will run out of ways for her to pull it off quick.

Side Note: The Bellas were “disqualified” from being in the battle royal for their illegal double team last week?  I could go into a dissertation about all the ways that doesn’t work and all the plot-holes it opens, but I wanna get this over with, you wanna get back to your lives, let’s just call it stupid and leave it at that.

Side-Side Note: I’d be wasting the effort it would take to point out Layla could’ve just rolled AJ over the bottom rope to the floor, right?

Okay, moving on to…

MAJOR STORYLINES/ANGLES

1.) BROCK/TRIPLE H: THE SAGA CONTINUES…WEITHER WE LIKE IT OR NOT – RAW opens with a fade-in on a close-up of Paul Heyman.  Heyman introduces himself as a representative for Brock Lesnar, and recaps his decimation of 3MB last week, as well as his subsequent challenge to Triple H to a cage match at “Extreme Rules.” He announces that Triple H is not at RAW, and reads an e-mail from him, saying his injuries have kept him from flying and he will answer Heyman next week.  Heyman knows how let-down we all are.  He feels the same…

“I have been let down by this gutless coward who didn’t have the manhood to appear tonight… “- Paul Heyman

At that moment, the music hits and Triple H is out!  He explains the e-mail simply, he lied.

He asks Paul for a favor…

“I want you to go back home to Brock Lesnar and tell him I ACCEPT!” – Triple H

Triple H ends this w/a pedigree on Heyman to the cheers of the crowd.

Rytman Remark: This has got to be a record, SHORTEST TRIPLE H PROMO EVER!

2.) ZIGGLER/DEL-RIO/SWAGGER: HEY THIS MIGHT GET INTERES-NEVERMIND – We backstage as Ziggler is making kissy-kissy w/the World Heavyweight Championship.  AJ shows up and jokes about being jealous.  Ziggler remarks how good she’d look with a title of her own, when we notice Big E. looking on…

  “E! This is Dolph-and-AJ time. Please no creeping!” – Dolph Ziggler.

Big E. walks off as RAW managing supervisor Vicki Guerro and her assistant Brad Maddox enter, informing Ziggler if he loses to Jericho tonight, Jericho gets a spot in the title match w/Swagger & Alberto Del Rio, making it a four-way at extreme rules.  Ziggler wins, (see Match Results, above,) and everyone gets disappointed.

Rytman Remark: Nice tease job WWE, however I argue that Jericho would’ve brought some BADLY needed heat to a lukewarm angle.

3.) JERICHO/FANDANGO: SPECIAL GUEST DIVA, SUMMER RAE – Fandango comes out for his match with Regal, with NXT developmental diva Summer Rae as his new dance partner.  After his win (see Match Results, above,) he gets jumped from behind by Jericho, who rubs salt in the wound by offering Summer a dance.  She accepts and Jericho gives her a whirl.  Summer looks flustered (in the good way) as Fandango rolls around in pain.

4.) SHIELD/TAKER/TEAM HELL NO: AN UNDERTAKING OF TAKING ON, THE TAKING-OUT OF UNDERTAKER – The Shield make their first on-camera appearance of the night, by helicopter, transferring to a black Range Rover to the arena.

Backstage, Bryan is upset that the Taker hasn’t shown up to go over strategy.  He asks Kane why he doesn’t just call his brother…

“Give him a call? He doesn’t exactly carry a cell phone!” – Kane

Bryan insists that Kane look at his diagrams, and asks if Kane is upset about them not hugging in a while.  Kane asks Bryan for a favor when Taker shows up.

“Do NOT try to give him a hug!” – Kane

Suddenly, Kane and Bryan go down hard as the camera shakes.  The tag champs are on the floor as three sets of black boots stroll off.

Later in the night, it looked like the Taker would have to face Shield all by himself, but Hell No made the match in time.

Rytman Remark: Waste of effort seeing how Shield won anyway.

5.) CENA/RYBACK: I HAVE NOTHING – We take a look back at the recent bad-blood between Cena/Ryback, and how it’s lead to a match at Extreme Rules.  Mick Foley is interviewed about Ryback’s recent actions.  Foley mentions how it’s not in human nature to look in the mirror and see your own shortcomings.  Ryback responds in his interview later that night…

“I look in the mirror and don’t see shortcomings. I look in the mirror, and see the next WWE Champion!” – Ryback

It’s revealed that Foley will confront Ryback later on the show.  A little later, we see Foley talking w/Cena backstage…

“In a career full of mistakes, this might be my biggest!” – Mick Foley

I’m just gonna sum this up, Foley calls out Ryback and gives him the speech about character, about how he can have all the tools, but needs heart and guts to get it done, and how letting Cena get beat-down by other people makes it a cheap-win.  Ryback snaps back with how Foley is old and his message is archaic.  It looks like Ryback will kill Foley, but Cena runs out to make the save, much to the disappointment of a crowd that wanted to see Foley die apparently.

The Shield makes an appearance and Cena teases leaving Ryback at their mercy.  But when Shield attacks, Cena makes the save with a chair and runs the Shield off.  Cena gives the AA to a confused Ryback, and RAW ends w/Cena standing tall.

Rytman Remark: Why can’t Mark Henry be the #1 contender and just spare us all this?

Side Note: Why didn’t Ryback and the Shield join forces?  It was the perfect moment and would’ve been easy to explain.  Ryback wants Cena, Shield wants to get rid of Cena, done and done.

Rytman’s Review: I liked this RAW up until the ending.  It kept things moving and set up the stories nicely, but this FRIGGIN’ ending made no damn sense.  My only guess is the save at the end was an attempted “make good” to Ryback in order to protect Cena’s image.

Yup. Just like the Thursday show is called “Superstars”

This week, G’s ass has ripples and JT’s been pretty clogged, while Jorge laughs maniacally and Joe eats brains.  Or something like that.  Then we put the whole thing through Gizoogle, biatch.  RAW recap, Main Event mania, and SmackDown synopsis, followed by some Iron Sheik goodness and the news!  When will we see Punk again?  Which WWE Hall of Famer almost backed out of the induction ceremony?  Who were the WWE Eurocontinental Champions?  Why am I asking you?  We obviously know the answers, and you can hear us stumble over them by clicking the link below!

BoredWrestlingFan Radio Episode 70 (MP3, 2:01:31)

This week’s break song was “Beer” by Psychostick.  Buy it here!  

Here’s the recap of this week’s Ring Of Honor TV program: (more…)

YAY!!!

Stuff goes here. Hopping time!

(more…)

As the wind whips around outside my house I figure I should take the time and give you the results of this weeks edition of Main Event featuring a 11 man Battle Royal to become #1 contender for the Intercontinental Championship. (more…)

[youtube]U4SQVgDDDAk[/youtube]

In this episode the team weigh up potential new signings from around the world, celebrate the success of WWE’s film The Call and come up with new movie ideas that will probably end up costing the company a small fortune in losses.

Card Subject To Change.

Written, Edited & Created by Lev Myskin (please visit http://www.whyalltheanger.co.uk)

Dave…Lev Myskin @WhyAllTheAnger, Brian…Colm Ahern @Colm_Ahern, Allison…Alice Arrington @AliceSArrington, Intern Joe…G @Goftheinternet, John Laurinaitis…Bad News Ramen @BadNewsRamen, Fan…Art Reese @TheAtomicGrande

Music Credits:
Opening Theme Music…Peter John Ross of Sonnyboo.com

Closing Theme…Theme for Harold var3 Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/

So just a basic recap today, rough morning.

Let’s start with…

MATCH RESULTS

ORTON/SHEAMUS DEF. BIG SHOW (HANDICAP MATCH) – A pointless rematch from Friday.  Brogue Kick + RKO = Three count.

Rytman Remark: You know, neither Orton or Sheamus are THAT much smaller than the big show.  The two of them beating him, is like either of them losing to two normal sized guys.

KOFI KINGSTON DEF. ANTONIO CESARO (NEW U.S. CHAMPION) – Match wastes no time in going into a spot-fest.  Kingston rolls out of a sun-set flip, rolls Cesaro backwards into a standing position and hits “Trouble In Paradise” for the three-count and the title.

Rytman Remark: Remember when WWE first ventured out into video games? And how they followed the normal 2-D, side-scrolling fighter format? (I’m thinking Street Fighter, Mortal Combat.) This match was like that, entertaining, but no real story.

WWE TAG CHAMPIONS TEAM HELL NO (KANE/DANIEL BRYAN) DEF. THE PRIME TIME PLAYERS – The PTP’s are almost completely jobbed out here.  Choke-slam/flying head-butt combo wins this for the champs.

Rytman Remark: The commentator spent this match making jokes about goats in reference to Bryan’s beard, because there was nothing else really to talk about.

R-TRUTH DEF. WWE INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPION WADE BARRETT (NON-TITLE) R-Truth wins it by grabbing Barrett by the head and dropping him face-first to the mat.  (The Little Jimmy?) After the match, Truth looks just as surprised as the rest of us.

Rytman Remark: There MIGHT be a point to this loss.  WWE has a Battle Royal set up for Main Event this Wednesday, to name a #1 contender to Barrett’s belt.  If R-Truth wins, it’ll cement the seed planted here.

RHODES SCHOLLARS (Sandow/Cody) DEF. SANTINO MORELLA/GREAT KAHLI (w/Natalya & Hornswoggle)– Santino gets the Cobra on Sandow and chases off Cody.  Horny-dawg (yes, I am going to call him that if I want to,) tries to “cobra” Cody.  Cody gets rough with him.  Khalil comes to the rescue, and Santino gets pinned because he’s not watching Sandow.  School-boy, for the three.

Rytman Remark: ( face-palm..)

…

…

…

JACK SWAGGER (w/Zeb Coulter) DEF. WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION DOLPH ZIGGLER (w/AJ Lee & Big E.) – A hard fought match with Ziggler picking up some fan support, but Swagger getting the three-count out of nowhere by dropping Ziggler throat-first into the top rope.

NIKKI BELLA (W/BRE) DEF. WWE DIVA’S CHAMPION KAITLYN – Nikki’s game-plan is to keep taking Kaitlyn’s legs out from under her.  Kaitlyn hits the stomach-breaker, but Bree switches w/sis to steal a three count.

Rytman Remark: In order…

1. So, we’re just dropping that whole thing w/Laya wanting a title shot? After like more than a month of slow build? And Tamina? Just nothing? Cena & Bryan’s girlfriends to the front of the line?
2. Twin Magic? With two girls that look NOTHING ALIKE ANYMORE?
3. In fairness, this match did not suck anywhere near as much as it should’ve.

Okay, now we look at…

STORYLINES/ANGLES

1.) BROCK/TRIPLE H: LET’S JUST GET IT OVER WITH – 3MB (Heath Slater, Drew McIntyre, Jinder Mahal,) came out first, calling out the Shield, demanding an apology for the beating on Smackdown.  Instead, they got another beating, from BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRROCK LESNARRRRRRRR!  It ends w/Slater takes two F-5’s to the barricade.

Crowd: One more time!  One more time!  One more time!

Paul Heyman gets control of Lesnar, gets him in the ring, and gets the mike.  He gives Triple H credit for knocking out Lesnar, calling him a “Warrior, worthy of admiration.” Heyman says the score is “one and one,” and it’s “time to get extreme.” He challenges Trips to meet Lesnar in a steel cage match at Extreme Rules and has “two words,” for Trips…

“Challenge, Issued.” – Paul Heyman

2.) ZIGGLER/DEL RIO: WHY WASTE TIME BUILDING THE CHAMP? – Dolph Ziggler comes out with the “Dolph-tourage,” (Copyright: Robert Rytman,) to brag about his title win.  Alberto Del Rio comes out with a still hurt Roberto Rodriguez and his left leg taped up.  He gets in the ring and demands his rematch now!  Before the match begins, Jack Swagger and Zeb Coulter come out, claiming Swagger deserves the credit for Dolph’s win and deserves the shot more than Del Rio.  Swagger gets on the apron and ADR gets in a shot to Swagger’s face.  Big E. gets between Del Rio and Ziggler, but Swagger grabs ADR’s leg and works it over in the corner, wrapping it around the ring post and pounding away on it.

Later in the show, we’re in Vicki Guerro’s office.  She and her assistant, Brad Maddox are discussing things, when Teddy Long comes in.  Apparently he’s taken it on himself to book Ziggler vs. Swagger and he’s given Swagger some “extra incentive,” to compete.  Vicki likes the idea.  Maddox tells Teddy to go tell someone.  Teddy says it’s not his job.  Vicki tells Brad to do it.

After Swagger’s win, (see above,) Del Rio attacks Swagger and goes after the arm.  Officials break it up and Del Rio stands tall.

Rytman Remark: Okay, I’m thinking this angle is the one getting rushed.  Having Del Rio demand a rematch while he’s still hurt makes him look more like a fool then a fighter.  Why not do a Ziggler/Swagger program and save Del Rio for next month?

3.) FAHHHN-DAHHHN-GOING-GOING-GONE! – FANDANGO comes out to be interviewed by Lawler.  When Fandango asks Lawler about moving his hips, Lawler decides to move his hips back to the announcers table.  Fandango tries to get the crowd “Fandangoing,” with mixed results.  A few minutes of this and Fandango tells the crowd to go “Fandango” themselves.

Rytman Remark: PLEASE TELL ME THIS IS THE END OF “FANDANGOING!”

4.)  SHEAMUS/HENRY: IRISH CREAMED! (NOT THAT WAY YOU SICKOS!) – Matt Striker is backstage interviewing Sheamus when Henry bull-rushes him down for the second time since last Friday.

Later in the show, we get an announcement for Smack-Down this Friday.  Team White-snake (Sheamus/Orton) vs. Big Show and Mark Henry.

Rytman Remark: And we couldn’t do this match tonight because?…

5.) C.M. PUNK: PUNK OUT? – C.M. Punk came out with Heyman.  Punk talks about how he could never enjoy what he has at the time, because he’s always looking “around the corner” for the next hurdle, how after holding the title for more than 400 days, he went right after the Undertaker’s streak.  In the middle of the promo, the crowd starts a dueling chant for him and the Taker.  Punk goes flat.  His eyes, his posture, it becomes that of a man crushed.  Punk hugs Paul, gives him the mike, and limps off, bypassing the stage and going right for the exit.

Rytman Remark: I am aware that Punk is taking the time off to heal up.  However, I’m giving him credit for his performance.  He came off like he really did “lose his smile,” and if you wanted to start retirement rumors (or an angle,) you could easily use this promo.  I’m predicting a HUGE comeback for Punk – maybe even a face turn – when WWE realizes how much they miss him.

6.) BOOKER T/TEDDY LONG: CLASH OF THE TITANS (KINDA) – Backstage, Booker T is NOT happy with Teddy Long going over his head.  He makes the match at Extreme Rules a three-way for the title and tells Teddy to “handle his business.”

Rytman Remark: I’m glad Teddy’s getting to assert himself, as opposed to being a constantly put-upon errand boy, but do we need ANOTHER POWER STRUGGLE ANGLE!? GOOD GRIEF!

Side Note: I heard Michael Cole on one of the shows, talking about Booker T letting the HOF honor go to his head, and how that may be contributing to his problems with Teddy.  Guys, Booker is NOT the one coming off as a heel in this.

7.) CENA/RYBACK: CONTINUITY! (BOOM) PART 2– All night we’re teased with Ryback speaking out tonight about his actions.  Striker has Cena backstage, where he comes out to almost NO reaction.  Cena says he’ll be in the ring with a yellow shirt and his WWE title and he will confront Ryback tonight.

Ryback has his say in a pre-taped promo.  Ryback starts by comparing his spot with Cena’s after Mania.  Cena was on top, Ryback was on the bottom.  Only one place each for them to go.  Ryback goes over his past few months in WWE.  He credits Cena as a friend and mentor, even mentioning last October when Cena nominated him for a shot at the WWE title.  Ryback then goes over his feud with the Shield and Mark Henry, pointing out how Cena never came to help him out when he was jumped by the Shield, but he almost always had Cena’s back when he was jumped.

“I am not an afterthought. I am not a sidekick. … If you were Superman, say hello to Kryptonite!” – Ryback

He says being Cena’s “friend” meant staying in his shadow, and he’s not staying there anymore.

Our “main event” for the evening is Cena calling out Ryback.

“This week, I say you make a move, and see if you have what it takes to EARN a championship!” – John Cena

Ryback backs down and walks away.

SIERRA,HOTEL/INDIA/ECHO/LIMA/DELTA, BELIVE IN THE SHIELD!

The Shield come down to the ring and surround Cena.  They hold back, waiting to see what Ryback will do.

Ryback walks off, and RAW ends with a Shield beat-down on Cena.

Side Note: We caught a second of the Shield in the “Gorilla” position by accident, which kinda gave it away.

So, you know someone lost a job.

Rytman Remark: Best Ryback Promo Ever.  The guy knocked it out of the park, in regards to setting himself up as bitter/jealous.  I commend whoever it was, that figured out how to string Ryback’s past booking together into a cohesive narrative.  If you entertain the notion that this was the game plan all along, it explains why WWE booked him as a choke-artist.  It gives him motive to turn bitter and blame Cena.

Here’s the problem…

If you want to call out Cena for not doing a run-in, you’re going to have to call out the ENTIRE WWE for not running in and helping out their “friends.” In the past year, building to Mania, the only person I’ve seen run-in to save someone from a beating was R-Truth helping out Kofi Kingston when he came back.  I’m aware that Orton/Sheamus/and Big Show did run-ins w/each other during their feud w/the Shield, but that was under the premise of a common enemy, not “friendship.”

Rytman’s Review: Okay, not an earth-shattering RAW by any means, but an effective place-holder-episode. “Auto-pilot” isn’t always a bad idea, if it keeps things moving.  This RAW did it’s job, setting up the next PPV.  And speaking for myself, I appreciate keeping the drama brief.

Big E, Big E, Big E, can’t you see, sometimes your fists accidentally hit me?

Fandangoing spills over into BWF Radio, as our own ThinkSoJoE was in the crowd at the IZOD Center this past Monday.  Joe, along with JT, G, and Jorge discuss the poor quality of this year’s WrestleMania, leading Joe to make an interesting offer to World Wrestling Entertainment, Inc.  It’s explained why Mike Chioda got the first chant during the Sheamus/Orton match on RAW.  We ponder who was controlling the temperature on Thursday’s IMPACT, and do away with Sign Guy during the reading of G’s SmackDown review, for some reason.  Rick is still very much alive and well, as far as we know.  Iron Sheik tweets are handled by JT, and we find out why Rock, Brock, and Punk were all missing from RAW in the news.  Plus, for episode 69, That Damn Double C brings us some Bloodhound Gang in our musical break.   All this and MUCH more, on BWF Radio!

BoredWrestlingFan Radio Episode 69 (MP3, 2:01:14)

Our break song this week was “Three Point One Four” by The Bloodhound Gang.  Buy it here!

Here is the results from this weeks episode of Ring Of Honor TV: (more…)