RAW 9.27.10
4 CommentsHello, everyone! Terribly sorry about not getting a review up for last week’s RAW, but things were really hectic. Anyway, I’m back tonight, and you can bet there’s gonna be a review up this week!
If you didn’t know it by now, Randy Orton is the new WWE Champion following Night of Champions! And at Hell in a Cell this Sunday, he’s got his hands full with Sheamus in a one on one rematch for the WWE Champion. But, this week? He’s got his hands full with Chris Jericho as they compete. And if Chris wins? Well, if Chris wins, Randy Orton will give Chris a title opportunity whenever he wants it.
<VIDEO PACKAGE: The Miz didn’t tap out at Night of Champions, and Daniel Bryan pays for his win last week on RAW.>
AWESOME
Miz and Alex Riley get to the ring tonight, and Miz says that Daniel Bryan challenged him and Alex Riley to a tag team match. Didn’t Bryan learn his lesson last week? Bryan’s like the guy who wins a hundred million dollars in the lottery and thinks he’s gonna win every time he plays. What happens every Monday night? Bryan gets embarrassed by The Miz. And on tonight’s episode, he’s bringing a tag team partner to join in on the fun. So, come one, come all, and join in on the beatdown!
Daniel Bryan’s music plays, and Miz asks if that’s really his music. Then, he asks who Daniel’s tag team partner is, and if he even has any friends. Miz is interrupted in his catchphrase yet again by John Morrison’s music.
United States Champion Daniel Bryan and John Morrison vs Mr. Money in the Bank The Miz and Alex Riley
Bryan and Riley start out, with Bryan getting the momentum early. He goes for an early cover, but Riley kicks out. Bryan tags in Morrison, but Riley attacks back. Morrison gets the advantage, however, and Riley drops him into the top rope. Riley keeps the advantage over Morrison as Miz is in the ring. Miz then drops Morrison right into the bottom rope. Miz gets covered, but kicks out. Miz manhandles Morrison, then backs up to have Riley come up. Riley stomps on Morrison in the corner before the ref pulls him out. Riley then drops Morrison and goes for a cover, but Morrison kicks out. Miz gets tagged in, and hits a swinging corner clothesline on Morrison before going for a cover, only for Morrison to kick out. Morrison goes for a tag, but when he jumps up, Miz catches him. Miz misses a clothesline and dives for Bryan, but Miz grabs his leg and goes to pull him back, only to get a kick in the face. Morrison finally tags Bryan in, and Miz misses a clothesline as Bryan takes out Riley and hits a dropkick on Miz. He goes for a cover, but Miz kicks out at two. Bryan goes for the Labelle Lock but Miz counters with Skull Crushing Finale. Miz pins him for the cover.
The Miz and Alex Riley win via pinfall.
Miz attacks Bryan after the match, but Morrison comes to his rescue, and Bryan takes out both Morrison and the Miz. Morrison pulls Bryan off of Miz, but Bryan attacks Morrison. Morrison attacks Bryan, then Miz goes back to attacking Bryan, and then Morrison jumps on them both.
“I’ve decided that this Sunday, at Hell in a Cell, for the first time ever, Daniel Bryan will defend the United States Championship against both John Morrison and The Miz. But it will be defended in a match that I just invented: A Triple Threat Submissions Count Anywhere Match.”
<COMMERCIAL>
@legendkiller515 since when was hell in the cell an important pay per view #wwe #raw #bwf
@ _MFS_ Can King please read the emails? Cole already talks WAY too much #WWE #RAW #BWF
@KeepItFiveStar Damn Tamina. What’d the O-Zone Layer do to you?
@kickoutblog KILL THE WABBIT! KILL THE WABBIT! KILL THE WABBIT! #danielfudd
@bethsharae Yep, Miz and Riley will win this one. I’m already calling it. Morrison has once like once or twice against Miz since they broke up. #Raw
Divas Battle Royal for the Number One Contender for the Unified Diva’s Championship
I see Melina, the Bellas, Eve, Gail, Jillian, Maryse, Alicia, Tamina, and Natalya. Then LayCool comes on out to sit ringside. I’m not even going to try to keep up with this cluster fuck.
Natalya wins.
Good to finally see Natalya get her chance. Anywho, didn’t pay attention to the match. I hate Divas Battle Royals.
<VIDEO PACKAGE: Legendary comes out tomorrow. John Cena’s been everywhere promoting it.>
Later tonight, Edge has The General Manager on The Cutting Edge.
<COMMERCIAL>
@kickoutblog Finally, a talented female athlete challenging for the Divas Title, are my eyes deceiving me?
@_MFS_ Okay, so they surprised me there, a Diva with actual fucking talent actually won, good job for once #WWE #RAW #BWF
@Niki_Sushi Yeah…. Officially fucking sick of LayCool. Michelle needs to go the hell away so Layla – who has talent – can shine. Skank. #BWF #RAW
<VIDEO PACKAGE: Eve Torres and R-Truth defeated Maryse and Ted DiBiase. Mystery message on the Titantron.>
Maryse is backstage with Ted, upset that Eve cost her the battle royal. Ted says he doesn’t care about the battle royal, and that she cost them the match last week. Someone knocks on the door and slips an envelope under the door. Maryse opens it and it reads, “Next week, you will be mine.”
It’s a shameful thing, lobster head!! TOO MANY LIMES, TOO MANY LIMES!
Sheamus says that we may have heard of some kind of Irish tale about two princes who had to race to get the throne of Ireland. The first prince to put his hand on the kingdom became the new king. As it came to a close, the younger of the two princes knew he was about to lose, so he cut off his hand and threw it at the castle. It made him the king of Ireland. Sheamus says he’s willing to cut off his own hand to win back the WWE Title. I don’t think that’s a good idea. Orton has underestimated Sheamus, and Sheamus should talk to Triple H because Sheamus ended Triple H’s career. In that cell, Sheamus is going to have the time of his life. But, right now, he wants to call out any WWE Superstar with a set of tires to face him. But, if they do, not only will they find out why he’s a future three-time WWE Champion, but why he’s also the fiery red hand of the WWE.
<COMMERCIAL>
@Niki_Sushi I’m waiting for i- there it was. Fella. And I quote: VINTAGE SHEAMUS!
@TKeep123 Mysterious “I WILL HAVE YOU” message….gotta be from GoldDust! #WWE #RAW
@ThingsColeSays Does “fiery red hand of WWE” mean Sheamus has herpes of the hand or something? Hide yo kids, hide yo wife!
@_MFS_ Sheamus, cutting off hands is not PG #WWE #RAW #BWF
We come back, and Sheamus says that it’s not a surprise that no one back there is man enough to take him on. Then, of course, the Great Khali comes out.
Sheamus vs The Great Khali
Khali slaps Sheamus’ chest, and Sheamus proceeds to beat Khali to the ground. Sheamus then kicks Khali in the head and out of the ring. Outside the ring, he proceeds to beat Khali up as the ref counts. He takes the top off the announce table and beats Khali with it, then stealing Jerry’s chair, and then Cole’s chair. The bell has rung at this point, but Sheamus just keeps throwing chairs.
The Great Khali wins via disqualification.
Sheamus then gets Khali up, but Khali pushes him into the turn buckle, but gets a Brogue Kick for his troubles. He goes to get up, but gets another Brogue Kick.
Up next, Edge has the RAW General Manager on the Cutting Edge!
<COMMERCIAL>
@KeepItFiveStar Every week I hope The Great Khali finally made that trip back to India. And every week I’m disappointed.
@bethsharae Dang Sheamus! One bonus of being so white, any amount of Red just glows. #Raw
@TKeep123 WOW!!! The hand print on Sheamus’ chest is amazing!!! #WWE #RAW
@kickoutblog If I had Khali’s hand tattooed on my chest, I’d be pissed too
You think you know me…
The whole podium is in the ring. If Cole reads the whole thing, I’m going to spaz… Really hard. I kind of wish Cole would get punched in the face. I’d take Josh Matthews over him.
Edge says that tonight is a first. The RAW GM is the guest. Edge does appreciate the GM agreeing to show up on the show. The computer will generate a voice (thank God), to keep this person’s identity a secret. Edge asks why he is such a spineless coward. The GM asks why Edge is such a moron. The GM remains anonymous to protect his identity. If people knew who he was, it’d change everything. Edge says that’s the worst voice ever. He thought he was Stone Cold, the Rock, Shawn Michaels, Bob Barker, or Lindsay Lohan after another bender. The only thing Edge knows is that whoever he is, he is a big fat liar. The GM says seriously, Edge, you hurt his feelings. Why do you have to hate, yo. He tried to make peace with him, but he wants confrontation. Why does Edge despise the GM? Edge asks why the GM despises him, and then asks why he’s arguing with a computer. Edge says that’s it. He’s gonna go ask Chris Jericho exactly who the GM is. The GM says Jericho is bluffing, but the GM knows a lot of things… Like Edge’s opponent. Right now.
Insert Stephen Hawking laughter.
Edge says that he doesn’t have an opponent, and he’s done talking to an overgrown Speak ‘N Spell, and he’s out. The GM says that he does have a match tonight, because the GM has scheduled a match between Edge and this man…
BRRRRRRRRRRRR RUBBER POO!
<COMMERCIAL>
@HitTheRopes Edge, when you start arguing with a computer, you know it’s time to leave Raw. Come back to Smackdown, yo
@ThingsColeSays Edge is right. The state of Raw these days.
@KeepItFiveStar Is the GM JTG? JTGM?
@Grotessk The RAW GM is T-Pain.
@_MFS_ It’s okay Edge, I argue with my computer at work all day too #WWE #RAW #BWF
John Cena vs Edge
Nexus is watching backstage. Big surprise.
Anyway, Cena gets the early advantage, but Edge punches that out of him. Cena hits Edge with a drop toe-hold, but Edge kicks him out of the ring. Cena starts to try to get back in the ring, but Edge hits a baseball slide and kicks him right back out. Edge Irish whips Cena into the steel steps, then rolls into the ring to break the count. I missed what happened, but I saw Cena go for an Attitude Adjustment, and Edge counter. Edge goes for a cover, but Cena kicks out. Edge keeps the advantage, punching his face as the ref tries to get him to back up. Cena begins to fight back, ducking a clothesline, hitting a flying shoulder tackle before Edge stops him. Edge goes for a cover, but Cena kicks out at two. Edge gets Cena in a corner, then Irish whips him across the ring. Edge goes for a suplex, but Cena counters it with one of his own. Cena gets up and goes for the Attitude Adjustment, but Edge counters again and goes for a cover, only for Cena to kick out again. The crowd starts a “Let’s Go Cena, Let’s Go Edge” chant as Cena wakes up and starts fighting back a little more. Cena gets up on the second rope and tries to get an Attitude Adjustment again, but Edge jumps down and hits a spear on Cena by the ropes, covering him. Cena’s leg was under the rope, however, and Edge thinks he just won cleanly. But, the GM hates him, so here’s the email!
Edge wins via pinfall.
“You need to play by the rules. John Cena’s foot was clearly under the bottom rope. See for yourself. Therefore, this match will continue.”
Told ya.
Edge then runs back and starts punching Cena in the head. Edge goes for the Spear again, but Cena counters with the STF. Edge almost gets to the rope, but Cena pulls him back to the center of the ring. Edge taps.
John Cena wins via submission.
Edge climbs out of the ring and starts slowly toward the computer.
“Edge, you lost fair and square. Don’t look at me like that. Just walk away.”
Edge stops, and looks at the computer again, only for the computer to ask him what he’s doing. The computer says that Edge has the crazy eyes and he’s warning him. Then, Edge knocks over the podium, and breaks the laptop in half, then beats it with a chair, then with his head. Obviously, Edge is pissed.
<COMMERCIAL>
@ThingsColeSays THAT’S WHY YOU HOOK BOTH LEGS, BOYS AND GIRLS. There’s a lesson to be learned here.
@bethsharae ….There is not instant replay in wrestling! Go away General Manager! #WWE #Raw
@HitTheRopes LOL, the Raw GM was injured. The #WWE had to find a way to write him out of the storyline.
@kickoutblog “Edge… you have the crazy eyes” might be my favorite WWE line since “malignant fist.”
@KeepItFiveStar OH NO! CHAIRSHOTS TO THE GM’S HEAD!
@TKeep123 Edge lays the RAW SMACKDOWN on the computer GM laptop. Edge 1 : GM 0 #WWE #RAW
@_MFS_ Yay! Dead computer! Man I wish I could do that to the crappy computers where I work! #WWE #RAW #BWF
@TeamNakedBaby Edge just killed Stephen Hawking 😀
Justin Gabriel and Heath Slater vs Mark Henry and Evan Bourne
Evan and Heath start out, Heath getting a good grip on Bourne pretty early. He already tags in Gabriel, who goes for a cover only for Bourne to kick out. Gabriel tags Slater back in and Slater hits a knee drop on Bourne and goes for a cover. Slater keeps momentum over Bourne, until he misses a clothesline and Bourne hits a high knee to Slater’s face. Slater tags in Gabriel, and Henry comes in off the tag too. Henry proceeds to deliver some hard hits to Gabriel, and downs Slater when he tries to help, then drops Gabriel on his stomach. Henry tags in Bourne, who is then taken out by Gabriel, after Slater takes out Henry. Gabriel climbs to the top rope now, and attempts the 450 Splash on Bourne, who manages to avoid it. Bourne goes to the top, and hits Air Bourne. He goes for the cover and Slater rolls them over so Gabriel pins Bourne.
Heath Slater and Justin Gabriel win via pinfall.
Nexus launches Mark Henry into the steel steps and then climb into the ring to get Evan. Otunga delivers a clothesline to Bourne, Tarver punches him hard, Slater just takes him down with some move (his trunks are sparkly and distracting), and then Barrett lifts him up, hitting Wasteland on Bourne. Tarver and Barrett move Bourne, and Gabriel hits a successful 450 Splash.
Barrett gets a mic and says that Nexus has said from the very beginning that you’re either Nexus, or you’re against us. After Hell in a Cell, Cena will no longer be “against us”, because when Barrett beats him, he will become property of Nexus. It’s not like they need him, but Cena’s going to serve a purpose. Cena’s going to take them to the upper something, and help them demoralize the entire WWE. Just to show Cena that being a part of the Nexus isn’t all bad, they’ve decided that they’re going to take a little trip. Otunga takes the mic and says that they’re invading Smackdown Friday. Unlike RAW, they’re giving all the superstars on Smackdown a fair warning. Tarver takes the mic and says the bad news is that they are the bad news. None of you can stop them.
<COMMERCIAL>
@kickoutblog Please, please, please let us get some high flying insanity with Bourne and Gabriel.
@TKeep123 Mark Henry becomes the World’s Strongest Yard Dart at the hands of Nexus! #WWE #RAW #BWF
@HitTheRopes Anybody else find Wade Barrett’s face eerily similar to that of a rat?
Next week, Johnny Knoxville is the guest star. Remembering how bad it was last time, this’ll be fun.
The Hart Dynasty with Natalya vs The WWE Tag Team Champions Drew McIntyre and Dashing Cody Rhodes for the WWE Tag Team Championship
I admit that I like typing Dashing in front of Cody Rhodes’ name. And that’s all I’ll say about that. Promise.
Tyson and Rhodes start out. Rhodes sends Kidd out to the apron, but Kidd jumps right back in and goes for a cover, only for Rhodes to kick out. Rhodes tags in McIntyre, and they hurl Kidd into the turnbuckle. McIntyre gets Kidd up by his head and tags in Rhodes. Rhodes hits Kidd, tags in McIntyre, and then Irish whips him right into McIntyre’s clothesline. McIntyre goes for a move, but Kidd kicks him in the head. McIntyre tags in Rhodes and Smith is tagged in too. Smith hits Rhodes with some hard this, and then knees him in the face. Rhodes is then dominated to the ground, Smith going for a cover only for McIntyre to interfere and then get knocked out of the ring. The Hart Dynasty go for the Hart Attack, but McIntyre pushes Kidd off early. Rhodes hits the Cross Rhodes for the win.
Drew McIntyre and Dashing Cody Rhodes win via pinfall.
Smith asks why Kidd hit him from behind, and the two argue with Natalya trying to get them to stop. Smith walks away after shoving Kidd.
Up next, Chris Jericho will take on WWE Champion Randy Orton.
<COMMERCIAL>
@kickoutblog Uh Cole, all wrestlers shave their legs.
@seraphalexiel Everytime they play Cody’s song instead of Drew’s, someone kicks a puppy around. Stop puppy violence
@TKeep123 I wonder if Cody and Drew take turns shaving each other!…. Those boys be smooth! #WWE #RAW
@HitTheRopes Just what #WWE needs to do: break up an ACTUAL tag team. smh
@Niki_Sushi You know you hit hard when Drew McIntyre does a Gollum Crawl to the ropes. #BWF #RAW
Cena and Truth backstage. Truth says no matter what happens on Sunday, truth is, he always has Cena’s back. Cena says he knows what’s at stake, and he’s going to take Nexus out one by one. Truth tells him to be careful, and Cena says that he’s always careful. Truth says he’s one of the most reckless people he knows. Cena says he is, but Nexus, since they’re going to the premiere of Smackdown on Friday, maybe he should be there, and if they run into each other, then Hell in a Cell starts early.
Break the walls down!
Chris says that when he wins this match tonight, he will be the number one contender, and will go on to win the WWE Championship, do you understand what he is saying to you right now? He’ll be the first to admit that Orton is a dangerous man, but he’s not scared. He’s changed from the fresh upstart he was when he first started to a deranged lunatic who has done whatever he could to become champion. He is a viper. He thinks, strikes, and acts like a snake, whenever he wants when he hits the RKO. But, much like Randy used to call himself the Legend Killer, Chris is going to call himself the Viper Killer, and will strike the head of the snake right here, and Orton will join the ranks of Hall of Famers and Legends who have been beaten by him. The list starts and continues, but a commercial interrupts.
<COMMERCIAL>
@bethsharae Did R-Truth just call Cena “Crunk”? #raw
@KeepItFiveStar “U da moss reckless. Moss gettin crunk person. I KNOW!” – R-Truth (What??)
@kickoutblog I write the most gettin’ crunk Raw reviews. And that’s the truth
@HitTheRopes Every time R-Truth sets foot in front of a #WWE camera I feel the black race is set back decades “Most getting crunk person…” #facepalm
@seraphalexiel DID THEY JUST CUT OFF JERICHO???? SOMEONE NEED TO GET FIRED
@CawCawBang Word of the day is Crunk
@_MFS_ Ummm interrupting someone who can actually cut a promo with commercials? Not cool #WWE, not cool at all #RAW #BWF
We come back to Jericho’s list continuing, still. By the way, gonna plug here. Got Jericho’s DVD in the mail today, and it is amazing. Worth every penny. Trust me. Get it!
I hear voices in my head…
Anyway, the list is interrupted by Randy’s entrance.
Chris Jericho vs WWE Champion Randy Orton
Jericho starts off the match with a strong kick to Orton’s stomach. He gets Orton in the corner and delivers some solid hits before Irish whipping Orton across the ring only to run into a clothesline. Orton hits back at Jericho, however, dropping his knee into Jericho’s face. He hits an uppercut on Jericho, who’s hanging out of the ring on the apron, and then climbs back in. Jericho hits a slap on Orton to get him out of his face, and then kicks Orton right in the shoulder. He taunts Orton, calling him a stupid man, his new favorite insult, before Orton starts hitting back again. Orton Irish whips Jericho, who holds onto the ropes, and then is clotheslined out of the ring. Orton walks out with him and Irish whips Jericho, who reverses, and whips Orton into the barrier.
<COMMERCIAL>
@HitTheRopes ARMBAR!!!!! #wwe
@Niki_Sushi Wow…. was @IAmJericho seriously listing people off that whole time? Elephant memory he has. #BWF #RAW
@Lagana Has WWE mentioned and promoted more TNA people tonight then TNA usually does?
@WellYoureWrong …MOSS COVERED THREE HANDLED FAMILY GREDUNZA #1004opponents #wwe
@legendkiller515 damn jericho is naming everyone he beat. #classic #wwe #raw #bwf
We come back to Orton stomping on Jericho, and Sheamus walks out from behind the curtain to watch the match. Orton sees him and pauses his methodical beat down of Jericho’s legs to stare at him. Jericho gets to his feet and goes for a clothesline, but Orton ducks and Jericho hits and insagari before hitting Orton’s neck against the bottom rope after a failed cover. Orton gets up and attempts the RKO, but Jericho counters into a backslide, only for Orton to kick out. Jericho goes for another cover after a dropkick, but Orton kicks out. Jericho gets Orton in a headlock. Orton fights out of it, and runs right into a dropkick. Jericho goes for a cover, but Orton kicks out at two again. Jericho drops his knee in Orton’s face, and then goes for another cover, only for Orton to kick out again. Jericho gets Orton in a submission, but Orton fights out, delivering a back breaker to Jericho. Orton gets up and watches Jericho, taking him down with clotheslines, and a scoop slam. He then backs Jericho into the corner and Irish whips him. Jericho puts his foot in Orton’s face when Orton runs at him, and then misses a Lionsault. Orton hits the backbreaker and goes for the RKO, only for Jericho to drop him. Jericho hits the Lionsault this time and goes for a cover, only for Orton to kick out. Jericho gets up and kicks Orton in the stomach, but Orton goes for the DDT from the second rope. Jericho counters it and locks in the Walls of Jericho. Orton reaches for the bottom rope, however, but Jericho pulls him back to the center of the ring. Orton reverses it and knocks Jericho out of the ring. Jericho goes right back in, and then this the DDT from the second rope.
Block of test is huge, so here’s a break.
Orton drops down to his knees, and Sheamus misses a clothesline on Orton and the ref calls for the bell. Orton then hits the DDT from the second rope on Sheamus. Orton starts to go for a punt, but Jericho hits the Code Breaker on Orton instead. Jericho grabs a chair and climbs back in the ring, telling Orton to get up. Jericho says he’s gonna knock Orton’s head off, but Jericho misses with the chair and Orton hits the RKO on Jericho. Orton then punts Jericho in the head. Sheamus looks terrified that he actually did it, however.
Well, there you have it, ladies and gentlemen. One wild RAW. Decent lead up to Hell in a Cell, I think, so we’ll see what happens! ‘Til next week!