Well, I ignored iMPACT, slept through SmackDown, and wrote off RAW, so I guess that makes me perfectly qualified to vote in this week’s Power Poll. We have a new number one this week, and he is….
1. The Miz (3)
He may still have his Money In The Bank briefcase despite another attempt to cash it in, but The Miz impressed voters enough this week to catapult himself up two spots to number one – because he’s The Miz, and he’s AWESOME! (My vote: 5)
2. Randy Orton (4)
A take no prisoners week for the WWE’s Apex Predator, Orton defeated Jey Uso, RKO’d Sheamus, and then for good measure RKO’d The Miz as well. (My vote: 1)
3. Sheamus (2)
The WWE Champion caught an RKO earlier on in the night, but picked up a tag team victory later in the night when his reluctant partner The Miz pinned John Cena. (My vote: 3)
4. Kane (1)
After RAW dominates the top three, SmackDown’s World Heavyweight Champion, Kane, takes his place on the Power Poll at number four. A promo to kick off the show and a no-sell of a Mysterio 619 keeps the Big Red World Champion from dropping any further. (My vote: 4)
5. Rey Mysterio (8)
Speaking of Mysterio, he climbs up the Power Poll after a victory over Jack Swagger in a two out of three falls match to become the number one contender for the World Heavyweight Championship at SummerSlam. (My vote: NR)
6. Rob Van Dam (5)
Despite not doing anything of note (seriously – he’s not even mentioned in Drow’s iMPACT review), Rob Van Dam only drops one spot, and is in fact the only member of the TNA roster to be featured in this week’s poll. (My vote: 2)
7. John Cena (6)
Cena has been strong on the mic the last few weeks, including his show opening promo with Chris Jericho this week on RAW. Had Jericho not hit him with the Codebreaker and cost him their tag match, the former WWE Champion’s ranking would likely be much higher. (My vote: 6)
8. Chris Jericho (10)
Chris Jericho continues to climb the ranks of the Power Poll this week, having been an awesome foil to John Cena in both the opening segment and the closing matchup of RAW. (My vote: 7)
9. Big Show (NR)
Having fun at the expense of the Straight Edge Society, Big Show unmasked Joey Mercury, and unmasks his ability to be a top 10 player in sports entertainment after a couple weeks off the Poll. (My vote: 9)
10. Wade Barrett (7)
Evan Bourne is not even half the size of Mark Henry, so slamming him to the canvas is not nearly as impressive a feat. Barrett makes the top ten on the sheer fact that he’s the leader of The Nexus. (My vote: 10)
We open with the rookies in the ring. Daniel Bryan is growing a beard. Skip Sheffield has added spikes to his jacket. We’re down to two weeks till an elimination.
This weeks challenge is testing likability. Go out to the crowd and try to sell merchandise in 60 seconds. WHoever has the most cash wins and gets a shot at at a WWE superstar of their choosing.
Skip is given a bag of programs and some changes and asked to sell. Suggested retail price 15 bucks. He gets 60 bucks, selling four programs.
The first match is a tag team match. Christian and Heath Slater vs Chris Jericho and Wade Barrett.
Start off with Slater knocking Jericho down and he instantly tags out. Christian gets a forearm and a second rope missle dropkick. He decks Christian, then Barrett gets a boot. Stomps away then Jericho comes in and pummels him. Back suplex. Jericho pounds Christian down in the corner. Christian gets a reverse DDT and tags out.
Slater with a flying forearm, then one in the corner. Eats a kick as he ducks his head but comes back with a neckbreaker. Barrett breaks up a cover. Christian comes off the top, then tosses Barrett. Dive over the top.
Jericho attempts a Walls of Jericho. Rollup gets two, but Jericho gets the Codebreaker for the win.
Some good stuff during the match. Cole refers to the faces as the team of Christian Slater, and Jericho is just nuts. He gets in the ref’s face and tears up the announce table.
Daniel Bryan just tosses the books away for free. Cole calls him a tool, and Matthews says Cole is the definition of a tool.
Replay of the triple threat last week. Carlito is giving some advice, pay attention to the little things. Details matter. He then walks away, telling Tarver to get their stuff. When Tarver asks if Carlito wants him to carry bags Carlito congratulates him for getitng the little things.
Justin Gabriel is up next. He asks the fans for help. He wants to fight a pro and show them that he’s good at WRESTLING. He says all the American money looks the same to him. He sells 22 progams.
Michael Tarver has the next match. We get the pros talking about him. Most see nothing him. Punk says he’s saddled with a poor pro. Regal calls him a sleeper. Truth calls him a character. Miz sees nothing in him.
His opponent is Darren Young, who’s accompanied by Serena and Gallows. Punch to the gut and a hard whip to the corner by Tarver. Powerslam. Stomp to the gut. Punches to the gut. Keylock, of some sort. Young fights out.
Tornado punch. Dropkick. Flying shoulderblock. Runs into a kick, but nails Tarver in the gut. Tarver with a knee on the outside. Shoulder to the gut and pulls his shoulder to the corner. Serena distracts the ref and Gallows nails Tarver, allowing Young to hit his finish. Gallows separates Serena and Young.
Justin Gabriel only got 210. Otunga is up next. he says celebrities don’t do manual labor, so he picks a couple of kis to carry the stuff as he hawks the programs. “Money Otunga” like Money Mayweather.
The pros talk Justin Gabriel. He’s got some moves, but doesn’t really have a lot of personality basically. Replay of Otunga/Gabriel and R-Truth not helping him. Truth is giving his some advise backstage and tells him if he can’t run with the big dogs stay on the porch.
Heath Slater has to get over 315 dollars worth of merchadise. He encourages the fans to buy by saying that he’s beaten two pros so lets make it three. He falls a little short.
Darren Young wants to face CM Punk but he fails to get enough.
Michael Tarver refuses to sell, saying the WWE should sell him. He is thr product.
Wade Barrett says he’s proved he’s the number 1 rookie. He takes the money given to give change and walks out.
Pros on Daniel Bryan. Punk, Jericho, Regal and Christian all praise him. Miz says if he’s listened to him he’d be a winner. Matt Hardys says he needs more personality but if he gets that he says nothing but good things.
Otunga won the challenge. And he wants to face R-Truth. It’s time the student beats the teacher.
The main even is the Miz vs Skip Sheffield. Miz has a big ass bruise on his face.
Regal gets in Miz’s face. He has a mike. It’s very painful to talk. He can’t compete due to the Big Show’s suckerpunch. Taking his place will be Daniel Bryan.
Fireman’s carry but Bryan escapes. Kicks and then a dropkick in the corner. Punches to the gut. Leglock. Skip gets the ropes. Kicks to the chest, But he grabs a kick then knocks him down.
Clothesline. Skip gets his finish, a backpack stunner.
Overall an excellent show, but three out of five people choosing not to compete is a bit much. Breaking it up the way they did actually made it a bit better this week.
Hey everybody. I’m back with another invigorating review (and by review I mean my rants about how these guys should be used instead of how they are being used) of WWE Superstars. Let’s get this thing started shall we?
Kofi Kingston def. Chavo Guerrero
This match is for two guys who can’t get on TV anymore. Somehow, Kofi got lost in the RAW shuffle and is not even in the Money in the Bank Match at Wrestlemania. How does this kind of oversight happen? One minute the guy is on fire in a very hot feud with Randy Orton and then the next he is delegated to random matches against Chavo Guerrero on Superstars without even a hint he will be on the biggest show of the year. Is it just me or does Kofi seem like another Elijah Burke, destined to be in TNA? Anyways, Kofi wins with the Trouble in Paradise.
Evan Bourne def. William Regal
This is the type of match that should get some time. It’s really hard to explain a comeback from a beatdown in a short period of time. William Regal dominates this match and then out of nowhere, Bourne hits a knee and the Shooting Star Press for the win.
Kane def. Mike Knox
Ok. Kane is in the MITB match at Wrestlemania. Mike Knox is on his way to the unemployment line. Who do you think won this? Kane wins with the Chokeslam.
Chris Jericho vs Goldust
This was a highly entertaining match. Jericho even praised the Bizzare One on his Twitter account after this match was recorded on Tuesday night. With Goldust being in good shape and still being able to perform on a high level, maybe he can hang around for a little while and do for Drew McIntyre what he did for Sheamus on ECW. Jericho wins with the Codebreaker.
Alright, it’s 8PM as I type this, so screw it, let’s get started!
Last Sunday: Chris Jericho won the World Heavyweight Championship, with a little help from, of all people, Shawn Michaels.
The World Heavyweight Champion, Chris Jericho is here, and this past Monday, Edge speared him and confirmed that the Rated R Superstar would be his opponent on the Grandest Stage of them All. In case the big belt over his shoulder doesn’t give it away, he tells us he’s the World Heavyweight Champion. He even reads the belt. “Chris Jericho – World Heavyweight Wrestling Champion.” Last Monday was his inauguration ball, a chance for us to bask in his successes, but it was taken away from him by Edge, and he didn’t deserve it.
You think you know me…
For the second time this week, Edge interrupts Jericho. He hates to do this, but he’s got to congratulate Jericho. He walked into the Elimination Chamber and walked out the World Heavyweight Champion. Jericho says it’s because he’s the best in the world at what he does. Edge says he’s the best in the world at getting speared by Edge. Edge lists Jericho’s achievements with the word “spear” attached at the end of each. Edge feels the spears aren’t just getting to Jericho physically, they’re getting to him mentally as well. He see’s doubt in Jericho’s eyes. Jericho doesn’t think he can beat him. Jericho says of course he can beat Edge. Edge says he’s in Jericho’s head all nightmare long – hooray for a Metallica reference from Edge! He wants Jericho to live up to what he says, that he’s the best in the world at what he does. If he doesn’t, guess what’s going to happen. The crowd chants “spear.” Edge says they’re right. One more spear, and it’s all over. Jericho says Edge will never spear him again, and suckerpunches him. Edge sells it, and Jericho goes for the Codebreaker, but Edge holds on to the ropes – then spears Jericho once again.
@xSmootx #Smackdown Definitely looking forward between Edge/Jericho at mania, great segment. #SpearisthenextGOREGOREGORE
WRESTLEMANIA XXVI: 30 Days Away!
We’ve got a Money In The Bank qualifier about to take place as the sounds of AC/DC’s “Thunderstruck” ring out through the arena. Who’s participating?
Now listen, this ain’t no make believe…
The Shaman Of Sexy, John Morrison, had an impressive showing his past Sunday in the Elimination Chamber, and now has a chance to go to WrestleMania as part of the Money In The Bank ladder match. Standing in his way?
I am perfection…
Dolph Ziggler has an opportunity to make his mark on WrestleMania, but we’re not done with the participants in this match…
What’s up… if you feel me, stand up and say what’s up…
R-Truth is accompanied by his NXT rookie, David Otunga, and we’re set for triple threat action, the winner going on to WrestleMania XXVI as part of the Money In The Bank Ladder Match.
Dolph Ziggler def. John Morrison and R-Truth to qualify for the Money In The Bank Ladder Match
Ziggler’s strategy is to let Morrison and Truth beat each other up, but they’re not having any of that. They go out after him, beat him up a bit, and toss him back out. R-Truth gets to show off his athleticism, but Ziggler breaks up the first pin attempt and bails. Morrison gets a two count as well with Ziggler breaking up the pin once again. He eats a clothesline for his trouble. Morrison gets dumped to the outside, and then Truth dumps Ziggler to the floor right by the feet of David Otunga. Truth hits a suicide dive, then rolls Ziggler back in the ring. Morrison keeps Truth on the outside, and scores a two count on Ziggler, then we go to a…
@Lucks4Losers Totally wanna see Truth’s rookie do Truth’s entrance lol #WWE #Smackdown
@jenrae73 #BWF #Smackdown Which one will win? Larry,Curly or JoMo? Ha!
@JamesLovely #wwe am i the only person that cannot stand R truths theme song or catchphrase? I wish he would just hurry up and turn heel already
@TheKingOfImpact So now that David Otunga is in #WWE I betta not see Jennifer Hudson in no storylines. The only thing she needs to do is sing at Wrestlemania
Ziggler is surprisingly in control when we come back, managing to fight off both Truth and Morrison. Both Truth and Morrison at different points score with a rollup on Ziggler but have their pin broken up by the other. Ziggler breaks up a pin attempt by Truth on Morrison. Truth goes for the Lie Detector on Ziggler, who ducks, and it’s Morrison who takes the move, but Truth only scores a two count. Ziggler gets rid of Truth and tries to cover Morrison but still only scores a two. All three men start battling on the top rope, and Ziggler crash lands on the outside. Truth goes for a Superplex on Morrison, who blocks and counters with a sunset flip powerbomb, and follows it up with Starship Pain, but Ziggler pulls Morrison out and picks up the pinfall on Truth – Dolph Ziggler is going to WrestleMania!
Christian and Dolph Ziggler are the only qualifiers thusfar for the Money In The Bank ladder match at WrestleMania XXVI
Promo: Please DO NOT Try this at home.
@jaydubshow Dolph Ziggler is going to WrestleMania! Money in the bank baby! #MITB #WWE Hope Morrison gets another shot though
@thumbscrews Just saw #HulkHogan in a Rent-a-Center commercial. How the mighty have fallen. #WWE #TNA
@Jason_Sherman I wonder what kind of shampoo JoMo uses…his hair is always looking shiny. #wwe #smackdown
Editor’s note: I actually saw that Hogan/Rent-a-Center commercial earlier. Surprised the hell out of me to see him in that – but it’s great promotion for TNA for fans who may not realize what he’s been up to and may think to look him up on the internet.
Video: Shawn Michaels challenges The Undertaker and ultimately convinces him to accept.
It’s Career vs. Streak at WrestleMania, but up next, it’s the WWE Women’s Championship on the line, with special guest referee Vickie Guerrero!
@ivanpek009 This video package is pretty awesome #WWE #Smackdown
@Stythis1788 Brilliant video of Michaels and Taker #wwe. Sheer brilliance
@BrookCallaway This HBK/Taker match is driving me nuts…I dont know who to cheer for. Damn them.
Vickie Guerrero gets the Jeff Jarrett treatment – no music as she makes her entrance. She’s our guest referee in this WWE Women’s Championship match. The challenger is out first, which shouldn’t be shocking, but it is. Michelle McCool is accompanied by Layla. Mickie James is the WWE Women’s Champion, and she’s accompanied by the WWE Women’s Championship belt.
Michelle McCool def. Mickie James to become the NEW WWE Women’s Champion
Todd Grisham fumbles over the name of the company he works for as this match starts. Michelle starts off on offense but it doesn’t last long. Mickie battles back and drops Michelle. She makes a cover, but Layla gets up on the apron, and Vickie stops to tell her to get down. Mickie dumps Michelle to the outside and hits a baseball slide, followed up by a Hurricanrana. Mickie slams Michelle’s face into the barricade and is rolling until Layla gets involved, distracting Mickie. Michelle takes over, bouncing Mickie’s head off of the ring apron as Beth Phoenix watches on a monitor backstage. Michelle goes for a powerbomb, but Mickie reverses into another hurricanrana, but her advantage doesn’t last long, and Michelle hits a belly to belly suplex. She goes for the cover but Vickie falls out of the ring. Mickie rolls up Michelle but Vickie slaps her in the face. Michelle boots Mickie in the face and covers her for the pinfall victory and the WWE Women’s Championship.
Up next, it’s another Money In The Bank qualifying match as Kane takes on the Intercontinental Champion Drew McIntyre!
@SpenceSupreme #WTF Vickie fell out the ring, gets back in and screws Mickie. Wow #WWE
@prettyheartless Peace out Mickie James. I’m calling it.
@jeterfan28 DREW IS ON NEXT!!!! He could be IC champ as well as potential MITB contender!
“Thunderstruck” rings out again, despite the fact that the official theme song for WrestleMania is some song by Kevin Rudolph that I didn’t bother catching the name of. The Big Red Machine, Kane makes his way to the ring, and he’ll have a chance to go to WrestleMania. Drew McIntyre’s awesome new entrance plays, and the Intercontinental Champion comes out with a microphone in his hand. He stops at the top of the ramp and reminds us that he’s undefeated. Nobody in the WWE has been able to beat him, not even Kane. He proved it last Sunday when he beat Kane at the Elimination Chamber. After he beats him tonight, he’ll win Money In The Bank, and the prophecy will be fulfilled. He’ll be the Intercontinental Champion, the World Heavyweight Champion, and still undefeated.
Kane def. Drew McIntyre to qualify for the Money in The Bank Ladder Match
Kane aggressively attacks McIntyre to start the match. McIntyre mounts a comeback and starts to aggressively attack Kane, and this match has essentially degraded into a brawl. McIntyre locks in a front facelock – whaddya know, a wrestling hold. Kane powers out of the hold and starts throwing punches, then clotheslines in the corner before dropping McIntyre with a sidewalk slam for a two count. Kane goes to the top rope, but McIntyre gets out of the way, then hits a ZigZag like move, which confuses Grisham into calling McIntyre “Ziggler.” Kane gets up and goes for a chokeslam, but McIntyre avoids it. Kane hits a big boot and gets a two count. McIntyre goes for the FutureShock, but Kane powers out of it. Kane boots McIntyre in the skull and picks up the pinfall victory. Kane is going to WrestleMania!
McIntyre gets up and realizes that he’s not going to WrestleMania. He looks up at the Money In The Bank briefcase, then flips out, yelling something that I can’t quite make out at Matt Striker.
So now the Money In The Bank match will feature Christian, Kane, and Dolph Ziggler.
The Miz has something to say, and that’s NEXT!
@RizzIUP Kane wins w/ a kick to the head #WWE
@Miss_Dani_Baby Take it easy McIntyre you don’t want to lose your job
@txgirl0302 I don’t like Drew McIntyre but dammit I like his theme music.
It’s finally confirmed that “Thunderstruck” is one of the WrestleMania themes this year, though they said it’s off the Iron Man 2 soundtrack…
The Unified WWE Tag Team and United States Champion, The Miz is here with a microphone in his hand. He can come to any show he wants because he’s one half of the Unified Tag Team Champions, yet he and The Big Show still don’t have a match at WrestleMania. Miz asks Teddy Long to find ShoMiz a suitable tag team, so that they can prove they’re the most dominant team in the WWE. Miz doesn’t care who it is, or whether or not he and The Big Show need to come back to SmackDown or not. He just wants to have his WrestleMania moment, because he’s The Miz, and he’s AWESOME! Teddy Long says he’ll take it under advisement. Since Big Show isn’t here, they can’t do a tag team match, but The Miz is here, so we can have a singles match. Miz says he’s not scared of anybody, bring it on. Teddy Long announces that the match for later tonight will be The Miz taking on Edge!
Up next, it’s Shelton Benjamin in action as he takes on the Straight Edge Superstar, CM Punk in a Money In The Bank qualifier!
@AndorranRef25 The Miz is AWESOME! He’s come a LONG WAY since signing w/ #WWE. He has Personality and AWESOME promo skills. Miz Vs. Edge should be good.
@Rage_Grenade @mikethemiz looks like an AWESOME BEAST with those 3 Title Belts. #WWE #Smackdown
@youdontknowmel Miz vs edge?! Miz vs edge?! Dreams DO come true!! #wwe
Smack of the Night: Last year’s Money In The Bank match.
CM Punk is looking to three-peat in Money In The Bank matches, but first, he’s got to qualify. He’s accompanied to the ring, of course, by the Straight Edge Society of Luke Gallows and Serena. His opponent tonight is returning to SmackDown after spending a lot of time on ECW, and quite frankly…
AIN’T NO STOPPIN’ (HIM) NOW!
Shelton Benjamin is back on SmackDown!
Shelton Benjamin def. CM Punk to qualify for the Money In The Bank Ladder Match.
Benjamin gets the early advantage in this one, and Punk bails from the ring to catch a breather. When he gets back in, he takes over. Benjamin starts to battle back, using his slight edge in quickness to his advantage, but Punk battles back. Shelton fights off a bulldog attempt, and Gallows climbs up on the apron, distracting Benjamin. Rey Mysterio pulls Gallows off the apron, distracting Punk, and Benjamin hits PayDirt for the victory! Shelton Benjamin is going to WrestleMania!
Matt Striker says “A pessimist’s blood type is always B negative.” I like that line.
Still to come, it’s Edge taking on The Miz!
@Kevin4theWin So Shelton wins his MITB qualifier with help from Rey Mysterio. #WWE #Smackdown. They should have let Shelton win clean in my opinion.
@Narcissism100 My Straightedge Savior is here CM Punk far better than the Impure Shelton Benjamin. Accept StraightEdge into your life it will save u. #WWE
@wrestlingaddict AWESOME!!!!!! Loving that Shelton won, Can’t have a MITB match without Shelton! But it should have been a CLEAN win! #WWE
RAW Rebound: John Cena is angry, but he’s going to WrestleMania to face Batista
We get a rundown of the WrestleMania card thusfar. Pretty solid so far – John Cena vs. Batista, Undertaker vs. Shawn Michaels, Chris Jericho vs. Edge…
Speaking of Edge…
You think you know me…
The number one contender for the World Heavyweight Champion is here and he’s set for action against the WWE United States Champion, The Miz! SmackDown is about to get AWESOME! The Miz makes his way out to the ring, and we head to a…
@Kevin4theWin Hmm somehow I don’t see this Main Event lasting the full 18 mins. My guess they take a commercial break during Miz Intro #WWE #Smackdown
@iObscurity My money’s on Edge. Jus’ sayin’.
@_onwiththeshow @mikethemiz holyshit, bro, you do cleveland proud. if we can’t have team titles, at least you can carry all those belts. (:
Edge def. The Miz
This is the first time EVER that Edge and The Miz are in the ring together. Surprisingly, they start off by, y’know, actually wrestling. Edge gets the better of the early exchanges, frustrating The Miz. Edge starts playing mind games with The Miz, getting the United States Champion to chase him around, then catching him and slamming him spine first into the barricade on the outside. Edge actually outquicks The Miz, but The Miz finally catches Edge, slamming him face first into the steel ring post and sending him crashing to the floor, and us crashing into…
@StevenPhilNYY watching the end of Smackdown. Just me or does Edge look like he did when he broke into the WWE? Skinnier brood form #WWE #Smackdown
@guitardude83 Haha.SpearSpearSpearSpearSpear lmao that’s good stuff #wwe
@SESociety: #WWE has bigger and better plans for our savior.
The Miz is in control as we come back, wearing Edge down with submissions and strikes. Miz climbs the ropes, but Edge catches him and flapjacks him into the canvas, turning the tide back into his favor as Daniel Bryan watches from backstage. Edge nails the Edgecution for a two count. Miz nails a combination backbreaker/reverse DDT for two. He goes for the Skull Crushing Finale, but Edge reverses it into the Impaler DDT. Edge backs into the corner and sets up for, then nails, the Spear, picking up the victory.