I’ve read the matches (non-spoiler version) ahead of time, and kill… me… now. This does not look good, people. There’s one or two on the card that look passable. But I must warn you, there will be much FFW content on this debacle. Unless you like immobile big guys that can’t really do anything in the ring. If that’s the case, enjoy! Not me, though. Ugghhh… It is hopping time… more like skipping time. Oh well, maybe they’ll make up for it with a whimsical Hornswoggle and Natalya cover of “Dueling Banjos” using flatulance instead of the five string percussive chording hybrid of an instrument? Fuck.
We open with a recap of Austin Aries presenting Hogan with Option C which is then followed up with the Claire Lynch saga. AH TNA my bi-polar enjoyment.
We open with Mr. John Laurenitis coming to the ring. Cole says there are rumors that Vince is very satisfied w/Johnny Ace’s job. Lawler says the rumor is Vince is very unhappy w/Johnny Ace.
Vince comes out just as Johnny introduces himself. He gives the duck-walk as the crowd pops huge. Johnny offers a handshake.
“I’m not gonna shake your hand, I don’t know where that hands’ been!” – Vince McMahon
Vince wants one reason not to fire Johnny’s pencil-neck butt. Johnny responds “people power,” and botches a line-referring to RAW’s”100th” episode coming up. Johnny empowers the people, and they love him for it. Johnny lists the things he and Vince have in common, while the crowd chants “FIRE JOHNNY!”
Vince rings up Brock Lesnar and the two separate lawsuits that followed his signing (Author’s Note: CONTINUITY! Boom) Vince also brings up Johnny – true story – hiring the WRONG one legged wrestler.
Johnny puts the Brock debacle on Triple H, and Vince changes the subject. He calls resigning the Big Show a “horrible investment” that “hasn’t performed,” up to expectations “since 1998.” Johnny argues that the show will deliver at NO Way Out, and claims the entire locker room sees him as a friend.
Cue Sheamus
Vince intros Sheamus to Johnny; Johnny congratulates Sheamus on being World Champion (?) Sheamus says it sounds sincere. He says Johnny is the kind of friend who fines you half a million dollars because he can, and then begs Vince…
“On behalf of the entire WWE, kick Johnny out on his arse!” – Sheamus
(Side Note: “Fire Johnny,” trending worldwide)
Johnny is insulted, and demands Sheamus stay in the ring and wait for Johnny to send out someone to kick his ass. Vince adds that this and every match made tonight better impress him or Johnny will be fired. Johnny storms off and Vince rides Johnny’s motorized wheel chair up the ramp, and shoves it off the stage.
COMMERCIAL
We’re back with Sheamus in the ring. We recap last Smackdown showing how Del Rio suffered a concussion in his match with the great Kahli, explaining why Del Rio won’t be wrestling Sheamus at No Way Out.
SHEAMUS VS TENSAI
I’ll give you a blow by blow in my next post. Here I’ll just say it’s a quick brawl with lots of Knees, forearms, head butts, and a few high spots. They take turns overpowering each other and Tensai hits his double choke-slam finisher for a two count. Sheamus brings the Brogue-kick out of nowhere for the three-count.
WINNER: SHEAMUS
We go backstage w/Vince, Jonny, and Teddy. Vince refers to Tensai’s loss as “strike one,” and asks Johnny what his great idea is to replace Del Rio at the PPV. Vicki Guerrero enters and mentions that there are two former champions on the roster, Dolph Ziggler and Jack Swagger, who could face Sheamus in a triple threat. Vince says it’s a great idea and Johnny will take it under advisement… unless he has a better idea. Johnny passes the buck to Teddy Long. Teddy mentions there are actually four former champions on the roster – including Kahli and Christian. Teddy suggests a four way with the winner being named number one contender. Vince thinks it a great idea. Johnny says that’s just what he was gonna suggest, and sends Teddy to get some coffee. Johnny offers Vince a fist bump, but Vince refuses.
“You’ve got small hands.”- Vince McMahon
COMMERCIAL
We come back to Tensai beating the hell out of his second, Sakamoto. Sakamoto is battered and tossed all over the ringside area. I’m guessing Sakamoto won’t be coming back anytime soon.
Cole and King hype the 1000th episode coming up. We get a look back at July 13, 2009. Seth Green guest stars on RAW, teaming w/Cena and Triple H in the main event. Seth remembers the night fondly and hopes for another shot.
We go to Matt Striker interviewing R-Truth. Truth talks about how “Little Jimmy,” was traumatized by last week’s fight w/Big Show and drove him crazy with the crying all night. He tells Jimmy to “straighten up.” He gives Cena a vote of confidence at the PPV, but gets clocked out of nowhere by the Big Show.
COMMERCIAL
We’re back with a recap of the KO.
Our next match is a mixed tag team match. Santino Morella is out first, and we recap Santino beating Ricardo Rodriguez on Smackdown three weeks ago.
Back to the ring, Divas Champ Layla is out next, followed by Beth Phoenix dragging Ricardo to ringside.
SANTINO/LAYLA VS BETH PHOENIX/RICARDO RODRIGUEZ
The girls handle the serious action, but Ricardo is the star here, playing the goof role as well as Santino ever did, even going so far as to run himself into the ring-post trying to escape Santino. Beth wins with the glam-slam, and Ricardo mocks Santino. Santino rips off Ricardo’s shirt, revealing a JUSTIN BIEBER t-shirt underneath. Ricardo runs off with Santino/Layla laughing at him.
WINNERS: SANTINO/LAYLA
Backstage, David Otunga tries to weasel his way into Johnny’s spot, should he get fired. Vince shoots him down with a few choice words about brown-nosers, back-stabbers, and lawyers. Kofi comes in and gets up in Otunga’s face, wanting payback on Show. Johnny comes in saying R-Truth is hurt badly. Kofi gets in Johnny’s face demanding a fight with Show. Johnny makes it a cage match. Vince is impressed.
COMMERCIAL
“Daniel Bryan, C.M. Punk, Kane, clearly one of these superstars is not like the other, and I am the first to admit it. I am nothing like C.M. Punk and Kane. You see, C.M. Punk and Kane both have a weakness, in the form of a 95 lbs. distraction named AJ. Now in Punk’s case, it’s all about Jealousy. Punk is jealous because I proved I am a superior wrestler when I made him tap out. So now, he’s trying to get with my ex girlfriend, in an attempt to make me jealous. It’s pathetic. And Kane… thinks it’s getting to second base, when a woman looks him in the eyes, and doesn’t vomit. You see, C.M. Punk and Kane are both obsessed with a woman who, let’s face it, is still in love with Daniel Bryan.” – Daniel Bryan
“And quite frankly, how can you blame her? I mean, she had the opportunity, for a split second of her life, to be with something as great, as all of this.” –Daniel Bryan
Huge yes chant.
“Once you go Bryan, there’s no sense in tryin’.” – Daniel Bryan.
Bryan ends with a quick Q&A session, will he win the WWE title at No Way Out? YES! YES! YES!
Cue C.M. Punk.
Punk comes down the ramp and sticks up for AJ. He says AJ is actually pretty cool, and WAY out of Bryan’s league outside the ring. Inside, Bryan’s nowhere near Punk’s league. Punk sums up the Kane situation, saying its all come down to a match with everything on the line, just how he likes it.
“One of two things is gonna happen, either I’m gonna beat the deranged, out of his mind freak, or I’m gonna beat Kane.” – C.M. Punk.
Bryan says he used to respect Punk, but he changed, pandering to everybody, calling himself the voice of the voiceless…
“There’s a reason these people are voiceless, they have nothing intelligent to say.” – Daniel Bryan
Bryan calls Punk a sellout. Punk mentions Bryan’s new t-shirt. Punk says he got to the top without compromising himself, and calls Bryan a “goat-faced moron.”
The crowd responds with the Goat-Face chant.
Punk says he’ll give Bryan a wake-up call, at No Way Out, with the Go to Sleep.
Cue Kane.
Kane reminds us he’s set fire to J.R., electrocuted Shane McMahon’s testicles, and Tomb stoned a priest.
Cue AJ.
AJ gets the mike. She says she’s looked into Kane’s eyes and seen he really has a heart.
“You gotta looove crazy chicks.” – C.M. Punk.
(Side Note: Goat face trending worldwide)
She says she hasn’t gotten over Daniel, and Punk’s the coolest guy she ever met. She says she knows the best man will win at No Way Out.
Cue Johnny
Johnny, from the tron, makes a tag team match, Bryan and Kane vs. C.M. Punk… and AJ.
Recap of Vince/Johnny face off at the start
COMMERCIAL
We’re back, watching Jerry Lawler try out the new Domino’s Pizza Tracker App for the I-pod.
Yeah
Christian comes out for the four-way. Kahli comes out next. Cole and King credit him with Del Rio’s concussion, setting up this match. Vicki Guerrero introduces Dolph Ziggler and Jack Swagger next.
CHRISTIAN VS KAHLI VS DOLPH ZIGGLER VS JACK SWAGGER
Cole and King argue over who gets credit for this match – Teddy or Johnny – while Kahli dominates the match with head butts and slaps to Ziggler’s chest. Swagger clips the leg, Ziggler gets a drop kick, and Christian hits a frog splash. All three men pin/eliminate Kahli.
COMMERCIAL
We come back with Christian in control, until Ziggler gets a drop-kick. Ziggler/Swagger get in some double-teaming; until Ziggler gets tossed out. It’s Christian vs. Swagger for a few moments, with Swagger working Christian’s ankle, until Christian hits the kill-switch, and Ziggler steals the pin on Swagger.
Ziggler and Christian trade near-falls and highspots, until Christian lands on his bad ankle and Dolph hits a Zig-Zag for a three count.
WINNER: DOLPH ZIGGLER
Ziggler walks up the ramp, meeting face to face with Sheamus. They trade some jaw-jacking as we go backstage.
Nattie Neidhart reminisces with Vince about his Wrestlemania match with Brett Hart, and tries to get her whole family a spot on the show. Vince gives her the slip. The Funk-a-dactyls come up to Vince and try to get Brodus Clay back on RAW. Vince refuses, but the girls get him to dance with them.
“Somebody Call My Mama!” – Vince McMahon
Back to the ring, Ryback has two more jobbers to kill.
RYBACK VS WILLARD FILLMORE/RUTHERFORD P.S. HAYES
BEST JOBBER NAMES EVER!
Fillmore and Hayes turn the tables on Ryback by making him wait for them to get to the ring. Ryback power-bombs Rutherford a few times, while Fillmore makes a run for it. Ryback cuts him off with the clothesline and tosses him back in. He ends this with his finisher while the crowd chants “Goldberg.”
WINNER: RYBACK
COMMERCIAL
We come back to see Vinnie Mac in da back with Hornswoggle, watching his JR impression on last Friday’s Smackdown. He does one too, and sends Horny off.
Cue John Cena; Vince brings up Cenas Wrestlemania loss. Cena brings up Vince’s loss to Hogan, Shane, Brett, Vince changes the subject and asks him not to help Kofi against Big Show. Cena agrees, and urges Vince to fire Johnny Ace. Cena leaves and Otunga comes back in. Vince tells him no one likes a kiss ass, then turns to say “no offense,” to someone behind him, camera pans to Steven Regal.
STEEL CAGE MATCH: KOFI KINGSTON VS BIG SHOW
Kofi comes out and enters the cage.
COMMERCIAL
We come back to watch the Big Show come out. Cole recaps the Big Shows’ path of destruction and blames John Cena for the Shows’ attitude.
Kofi jumps show but from that point on, it’s little more than a glorified squash as Show smashes Kofi into the cage, tosses him like a ragdoll, and crushes him under foot. Show shifts his focus to glaring at the crowd and taunting them. At one point, Show tosses Kofi into the cage; Kofi springs up and goes for the top. Show charges the cage and Kofi leaps over him, following up with “trouble in paradise,” spin kick that gets Show down. Kofi goes for the door twice but gets dragged back in by the ankle. Show blocks a kick and puts Kofi out with the WMD punch.
While the ref checks to see if Kofi can continue, Show gingerly exits the cage, taking long pauses to emphasize how easily he could have left at anytime.
WINNER: BIG SHOW
In the back, Johnny smiles.
COMMERCIAL
We’re back with Sin Cara making his entrance.
SIN CARA VS CURTIS HAWKINS
Sin Cara dominates with high-flying take-downs and a spinning body press over the top to the outside. Hawkins takes over with a baseball slide out the ring, hooking Cara by the ankle and dragging him to the floor. Hawkins in control briefly, but Sin Cara hits his springing elbow, and plants Hawkins face first to the mat with his head-scissors take down.
WINNER: SIN CARA
Commercial
We come back to a rundown of the No Way Out card. Then we go back stage where Daniel Bryan is stretching. Vince comes in to ask his opinion about something. He goes into an analogy about judging a book by its cover, and Bryan buying groceries; I have no idea where he was going with it. Bryan mentions he was fired once before, then came back to prove Vince wrong. He compares himself to Vince, saying they’re both self-made success stories. Vince reminds Bryan he lost his title at Wrestlemania in 18 seconds.
We come back to Dolph Ziggler’s favorite RAW memory, the very first show.
Back in the ring, we’re told Johnny invited a former RAW main event talent to compete in this next match. Heath Slater in the ring says we’ve got a current superstar right in front of our face. He starts shouting that it’s “Slater Time.”
No; “IT”S VADER TIME!”
HEATH SLATER VS VADER!
Out comes Big Van Vader! The crowd comes alive, chanting for Vader every damn minute!
“Welcome Back!”
“You Still Got It!”
“VADER BOMB!”
Slater gets in a few shots but the match is never in doubt. Vader ends it with the Splash off the second rope.
WINNER: VADER
We take a look at a recent “Be a Star,” event featuring Stephanie McMahon and David Otunga speaking to school kids against bullying.
We go to Punk/AJ getting set for their match. Punk says this will be a glorified handicap match, and tells AJ to hold back and “don’t do anything crazy.” He says their advantage is they trust each other. AJ adds they “really like each other.” AJ sneaks in a kiss before leaving.
COMMERCIAL
We’re back to see Kane make his entrance. We get a recap of Kane vs. Sheamus last Friday on Smackdown, where AJ made eyes at Kane, setting him up for a boot to the face.
Bryan comes out, followed by Punk and AJ.
C.M. PUNK/AJ VS DANIEL BRYAN/KANE
It’s a surprisingly brief match, starting off with Punk fighting Kane and Bryan. The highlight is AJ getting tagged in by accident, facing off with Kane. She seems worried at first, and then she gives Kane the smile. Then she skips-literally-SKIPS around Kane a few times, JUMPS IN HIS ARMS LIKE A GIRLFRIEND WELCOMING HIM HOME AND KISSES HIM LONG AND HARD! Kane is confused – join the club – and tags in Bryan. He leaves. AJ tags in Punk, Bryan runs right into a kick and forearm shot. Bryan goes down and Punk scores the flying elbow for a three count. After the match, Kane, Punk, and Bryan all look confused, while AJ sits Indian style in the ring, smiling at Punk.
WINNERS: C.M. PUNK/AJ
COMMERCIAL
We’re back, and Vince is heading for the ring with security in tow. Vinnie opens up pandering to the Hartford crowd and calls out Johnny.
Johnny Ace comes out. He doesn’t appreciate Vince destroying his scooter, but promises he wouldn’t think of putting his hands on Vince.
“These Security aren’t for me, they’re for you.” – Vince McMahon
Vince says the security detail will march someone right out of his business. Johnny argues the WWE universe needs him. Vince is just about ready to make his decision when the Big Show comes out.
Show admits Johnny made mistakes, but the one thing he did right was give Show an Iron Clad contract with a “no cut” clause. Show can do or say whatever he wants and if he gets fired, Vince has to pay him millions of dollars to do nothing for many years. Show says Johnny isn’t the one to blame for all this, Vince is. Show blames Vince for all the years of being part of a “dog and pony show,” and tells him he needs to worry about his golden boy, John Cena.
The music hits, and Cena comes out. Cena runs down the list of everyone Show blames for making him an “entertainer,” and how the one guy he should blame is Johnny Ace. Cena admits Show’s got everything he could want, but, he asks, what will he do if he loses? What will he do knowing that he has to show up every night and admit to everybody they were right about him?
Vince chimes in here, saying he’ll be sitting next to Johnny at No Way Out and if Show loses, Johnny is fired.
Show goes after Cena, security tries to pull them apart, but they get tossed. Cena unloads on Big Show, Johnny Ace grabs Cena. Vince grabs Ace. Big Show clocks Vince.
Johnny sends Show to the back, while Cena tries to get help for Vince; and RAW ends with a trainer calling in emergency help, for an unconscious Vince.
Presumably. I could be wrong. Oh well. Lets dig in.
What we get is a refresher in repetition. The show opens with the Genesis title match recap, we watch (for what would be the second week in a row) Roode getting himself disqualified after kicking the ref in the ball sack. (Sorry for so much detail but I’m using spell check and I could use ebonics.) We then get the added treat of a repeat of that debacle where Ray yanks out Roode costing a no contest. Retaining the title. We now official start the show with Storm coming down to the ring announcing how he beat Angle for the #1 contendership and can’t wait to face down Roode at Against All Odds. But wait, just as he’s about to spout his catchphrase out comes Hardy. I have a feeling we will not get out one on one rematch between Roode and Storm? Hardy tells Storm that “no one is getting a title shot until he gets his final encounter.” Because now we live in Out World. Storm and Hardy have a mini face off talking of screwing and someone paying child support when out from the back comes Roode. The Charitable Champion has extended his limits with Hardy and tells James Storm that since the title match was a no contest his #1 contenders match is null in void. That is until Sting ” The Insane Icon” Or as I call him Steve Borden, H.L.I.C tells the three men that tonight it will be The Cowboy James Storm vs The Charismatic Enigma Jeff Hardy, in a new #1 contenders match which doesn’t sit well with Roode.
We cut to Angelina Love, who does her best valley girl impression talking about how Eric Young touched her which is disgusting seeing as how he looks like ROH’s answer to Grizzly Redwood. Or because she is in love with Winter making her disgusted by men period. She decides to delay the answer to that and give EY a shot at touching her in a match. She tells EY not to bring her boyfriend to the ring. Sorry I would take ODB over Angelina Love any day, even if she wore a Klanshood.
Ric Flair, Manager extraordinaire leads Gunner out for his match against AJ Styles. What starts as a good match leads to repetition where Gunner gets mad and leaves the ring only to have Flair pep talk him back making for a stronger offense on his part. But the tide turns toward AJ that is until repetiton looms its head again. Chris Daniels along with his indentured servant Kaz march down to the ring. Like clockwork Flair distracts the referee leading for Kazarian to clothesline from the apron before sorrowfully walking back to his master. Gunner finishes off AJ with a spiked DDT for the win. But wait more repetition when Gunner goes outside the ring to finish off Styles. Daniels forces Kaz to watch but AJ gets away through the crowd.
In the back Bully Ray confronts Steve for a title shot. Why? Because he’s a moron. Borden reminds Ray about all the interferences he’s caused for Roode. Flat out tells him no. Ray gets in his face only to be stared down like a bully should. Magnus and Samoa Joe go on to what i suspect to be wonder years that tonight Magnus is going to kick the (bleep) out of Crimson or some such I could tell. Especially when Crimson shown his face during the interview and my computer screen went all (bleep) for about 10 to 15 seconds. That match follows.
And like a Early Mike Tyson fight it is over in three minutes. Crimson gets some early offense a couple of heel pins and is suddenly taken down with the Sky HIgh or Crimson Sky which it is now called. Joe comes out and jumps Crimson from behind hence the beatdown can commence. Heels make their point with Magnus sporting the belt for a milisecond.
For the second week in a row we have a advertisement for a product on Impact. I shouldn’t take because WWE has done worse. Subway anyone. Any who Eric is standing outside a Bellator truck confronting one of the cooks about being an undercover fighter, but she nothing but annoyed by the accusation and flees as fast as possible. ODB arrives and tells EY to take on Angelina with the promise of “booty bam?” At this point even ODB doesn’t know what she is saying other than code for let me out so I can try out for the WWE. But a job is a job.
We get another clip of The Rise of Nepotism which is Garett Bischoff. We get a recap (repetition) of Garett and his stand off with his dad Eric B last week along with added footage of him training with what I presume is the Black Dynamite fight instruction team meets Rocky. That is until he looks into the camera to tell his dad wait till you meet my trainer. I sense the return of Hulkamania brewing and it will more than likely be revealed during the England tapings. Yippee!!
Its time for a steel cage match between Mickie James and Madison Rayne Part II, hopefully this one won’t be 2 minutes long and result in the most quietest moment in a TNA Knockout match. It goes longer but its no Tara vs Mickie. Mickie wins with a jumping spiked DDT for the win before shooting one of the fakest backstage scene where her “girlfriends” Tara and Velvet Sky welcome her and Wonder Years starts asking subpar questions which lead to a brain dead moment. A win over Madison Rayne is like beating a homeless man for a quarter, its more shameful than anything.
The intergender match is happening which still doesn’t make any kind of sense. Spike TV doesn’t allow male on female violence. So what we get instead is a quick promo of ODB in the back living out her darkest fantasy on Angelina involving Love’s saline filled breast being ripped off. This is all before Winter pops out and beats then whips ODB which would be slightly erotic if not for the upcoming visual of Love talking on Grizzly Young. The match commences in what could be described as a blatant waste of time. EY locks up with the ref not once but twice he even locks up with a fan. This all before he gets into the ring to wrestle Angelina who simply kicks Young in the junk ending the match in a disqualification. Winter enters and helps Love beat down on EY. Because male on female violence is bad but female on male violence is kosher? Okay. ODB joins the fray and is beat down also. That is until Eric throws them both out of the ring? Isn’t that male on female violence?
One bright spot exists. Alex Shelley returns! To reignite his feud with his long time rival Austin Aries. Double Yeah! He also tells the fans what we’ve all been thinking, We need the MCMG back pronto so we can actually have some good tag matches. I have love for The Best of Five series.
The Main Event: I will keep this short. Bully Ray interferes beats down both opponents and the referee. This while Sting is doing nothing but twiddling his thumbs in the back. But wait Sting comes out with a bat to chase off the Bully. This of course leaves Roode positioned to come in and nail Storm with the belt. Declaring a No contest standing smug in the ring. Lets just drag this three way through the tapings.
Welcome back. After having help last week from Matt B. Wrestle, I’ve decided to return and review this weeks Impact. The final impact before Genesis TNA’s opening PPV. And I’ll be happy to report I kinda didn’t like it as a lead into Genesis I was basically bored by the events but it could be that I’m an old man by wrestling fan status (27) and feel like I’ve seen it all. Lets begin.
Roode umpteenth replay of his leader of the selfish generation gimmick plays just to remind people that Roode is a bad man (again.) Steve Borden comes to the ring and calls out Jeff Hardy. This is suppose to again absolve Jeff of his victory road debacle and bring the story full circle since Steve alter ego Sting was his embarrassed opponent. But this is interrupted by Bobby Roode, the aforementioned leader of the selfish generation. Who brings tag alongs Angle and Bully Ray. Roode admonishes Steve Borden for picking favorites and how he should praise Angle for beating up rednecks and Ray for having awesome calves?! Oh and him because he is the face of the company. Then they are interrupted by James Storm and Abyss, who basically talk over the heels which prompts steve to set up a six man tag match. You know because both companies love to compact entertainment into one main event. Have a bias against six man tag matches or random tag matches in general? Yes. Yes I do.
Oh look its Madison in a bikini and a mole that may or may not be cancerous like her whole persona.
Face, back whatever it still looks suspect
Science is still out on that one. She spots Traci at a pool and proceeds to announce that they have a tag match set up for the Knockout titles. This is all before the hazing that takes place when Gail and Madison double team Traci and attempt to drown her. Thank god for Mickie who jumps in for the save. And then we have the Knockouts Tag team match.
Its basically a brawl which has a fired up Traci vehemently attacking Gail and in some instance Rayne with occasional assists from James. *Sidenote here* So the mystery woman from last week was Madison? Here I was hoping for some new talent. Gail beats Traci with her heel move “Eat Defeat” to retain the titles.
Random Eric Young segment where he’s interviewed by Wonder Years about whats he up to. He looking for ODB so they can have their match even though they already lost. But whatever.
The Wild Card Tag Team Tournament. We see the two remaining teams Joe/Magnus and Kaz/AJ go through the pre match backstage segments/interviews. Really this whole tournament was kind of one dimensional. Aside the Magnus return to the ring nothing was special about it. Too predictable with so much interference it took the joy from it. For what should be an intense match turns sour before the opening bell. Kaz who is having secret meetings with Daniels really just ruins and makes an all too predictable out come. Long story short, Kaz leaves in similar fashion to Shannon Moore, leaving AJ stranded to take a whooping aligning himself with Daniels.
Finally, Kazarian has a storyline. Look at him smile.
Crimson/Morgan or Blue Streak take on Joe and Magnus at Genesis.
Oh. Garett Bishoff returns to ref but is told by GM Borden he is a wrestler. And Eric Young invades the KO locker room looking for ODB only to throw Madison inside a locker before fleeing. Gunner takes on RVD, so since we know who wins lets just skip to the no Flair at ringside that took Steve 3 weeks to institutionalize surprisingly only when RVD is present. Because god forbid he has to take time off. RVD wins with a DQ and a save from D’lo. Al Snow and Simon Diamond. These three guys moved so slow it took 3 weeks of spiked ddt’s for them to make it ringside. Now announced is a Gunner vs RVD match which doesn’t look promising at all. Just saying.
X division tag match with RANDOM I mean the four participants who will face each other for the X divison title come Genesis. Austin Aries (c) Kid Kash, Jesse Sorenson, and Zema Ion. THree heels and a face its possible right??
Sorenson wins with the cross roads. Setting up the eventual Austin Aries win come Genesis. And now that I think about it where is the Ultimate X match that should be taking place here?
Eric Young finds ODB taking pics of dudes and they wrestle then kiss. AAAHH! Cody Deener part deux is on its way.
Even Charlie Sheen wouldn't come back for this Part Deux
Blue Streak and Joe and Magnus brawl.
Main Event time. Six Man tag Match! ———–The heels beat the stuffing out of the faces. Roode has Hardy in the crossface, Angle has Storm in an Ankle lock and Ray is choking out Abyss with a chain. I could go through that match it would of bored me to tears.
call the story police, please.
So hopefully until Genesis, THis is Pintnoir fading to black.
Sorry no pics to entertain. Just a very disappointed feeling. BFG was mediocre to say the least. I watched in quick succession as (this includes a preshow) where two titles are forever tarnished. A bi polar face change. And a good match from two men. One who is known for phoning it in and the other who was with the company before but left. The continued embarrassment of Samoa Joe, which now includes Matt Morgan. This folks was Bound For Glory.
Lets start with the bad please.
(bleep) it. The worst abomination known to humanity. If you’re a female this should set you back 200 years, when you ancestors wore corsets and stood quietly by as they had no voting rights. THIS MATCH ALMOST MADE ME UTTER THE MOST HATED (American)TERM THAT BEGINS WITH A “C” AT MY MONITOR.
We watch Karen Jarrett officiate a debacle of a match. So bad that the Philly crowd was chanting “BORING”! Wheres Mickie James stood in the middle of the ring and shouted with irritated conviction “Come On” Which got a momentary acknowledgement from the crowd. This match is the classically stated overbooking everyone talks about, you have 4 competitors, a special guest referee, Outside interference, and a heel ref bump that leads to a babyface ref coming out to count the three! With all of this the match was still a horrid mess. I honestly believe the crowd only cheered because it was finally over. It would be akin to be a Vietnam war prisoner with the bamboo beneath the finger nails and when they finally finished you congratulated your captors.
Lets just look at the players.
Madison Rayne- One of the worst heels in the business, and not in a good way a heel should be bad. Even as she descended the ramp I heard no crowd reaction other than crickets and people getting around to their bathroom breaks. The Killer Queen title fits seeing as how she killed the crowd.
Velvet Sky- Miss Retcon herself. Who is now a baby-face for no reason other than they had no other popular female “wrestlers” and I use that term loosely. She gets a good pop but that is because she is the lesser of two evils. Men supposedly according to Taz “Let the pigeons loose” in her presence. That is no different than watching your favorite porn star, but you watch her in a non wrestling element, not in a wrestling ring!
Mickie James- Someone who at least no matter how awkwardly she looks attempts to put on a show. The former stripper attempted to keep the show grounded but was overshadowed by her protege Velvet.
Finally the Champion Winter, the batshit crazy Lesbian Vampire Brit who spits blood. That would be a long title for a movie. Who came out to confusion. Someone who if she wasn’t saddled with a crap gimmick would be a perfect snobbish heel. But I digress, In all this mess I was actually rooting for Winter! The booking for this match is simple Velvet (shudder) vs Winter w/Angelina. If Sky wins she gets her friend back, and sadly a title. But no we get padding for an already sad match.
Someone on another site posted how two of the best female wrestlers in the company Tara and Sarita were otherwise pre disposed. Sadly that is the state of the division if you have talent you get buried for looks. Velvet Sky namesake aside is a glorified valet who was given a devalued trinket to a once promising division. A belt I might add two years ago wouldn’t even be considered an option for heel jobber Sky. Amazingly a regime change and a massive exodus later she now has no barrier to the title.
Anderson and Ray was excellent even with the missed spot. Ray has experience never mined in WWE. The way he turned that crowd against him was gold. He essentially sold Anderson as the fan favorite in a town he helped put on the map.
Bi-Polar moments astound me in wrestling. First we have Sting go all crazy then we have Hogan after losing to Sting listening to the Hulkamaniacs and changing allegiances taking out all of jobber Immortal? They’ve signed new contracts, Hogan and Bischoff, so now what we have two more years of Hogan now face running around in the Red and Yellow fighting Immortal and Eric Bischoff? So much for the youth movement. Sadly it was quoted that the Hogan change was similar to Return of Jedi, as Luke (Sting) pleaded with Vader (Hogan) to help him in his fight with Immortal (Emperor) yes it was a blatant rip off that even with the crowd reaction Hogan had already ruined it in interviews prior to BFG answering that we (fans) would see the red and yellow soon. Yippee.
Joe jobbing is enough said for me. Even the fans booed when the winner was declared.
RVD tried and I mean actually attempted to put on a good match. He won which still shows that back stage politics still work when it comes to Rob.
The never ending Daniels vs AJ feud is still continuing. The theme music that played during their feud video even made no sense when it came to the lyrics. Title winning before one dies? There was no belt on the line. If that is the case then why not give either one the Television title because god forbid Eric Young isn’t using it. Weak finish ruined this match.
Preshow on Facebook came across as one would expect. No title change. Christina Von Eerie or as she is known in TNA as Toxin was ehh. She did her job of awkwardly (there’s that word again) taking out two women motioned to the crowd turned scratched Anarquia’s eyes and depantsed him. Still this tomfoolery is better suited for RAW not for TNA Impact “Where Wrestling Matters, Again”. Bush league at best. Hence why we got it for Free.
All I can say about the Bobby Roode title match is Bullshit!!!!!!!!! A sad month of hype. A retconned back story (remember Bobby was a JBL style wrestler with money who had Traci Brooks and Eric Young in his back pocket?) I don’t either because he is Rocky Balboa. He is built up and then after a 15 minute match where similar moves were repeated over and over ended with Apollo Creed (Angle) winning in questionable fashion because you know the referee is blind. This is a crazy epidemic in TNA, this blind referee syndrome. At first I thought it was just Earl Hebner but I guess it is hereditary because Brian Hebner let Kurt rob Bobby. Don’t get me wrong Roode was booked all wrong.
First we have the Bound for Glory Series where we are treated to various contenders who all are given the wink wink of moving forward. Crimson with his undefeated streak looked like a winner but was kayfabe taken out. RVD was screwed by Lynn. Bully Ray just couldn’t get the job done. Gunner tapped. Storm choked. Pope and Joe didn’t stand a chance after their lackluster feud. But there was one man who was waiting for his chance to become the champion, a man that had promised by the end of the year to be TNA World Champion. His name was……Matt Morgan! He was in prime condition to be the next big main event guy. He had paid his dues in the company and was basically homegrown. A WWE Jobber who was stuck with a gimmick no one would want. Who after coming to TNA grew into a fan favorite even when he was a heel. Then an injury happened and he was shelved then taken off the shelf to feud with Joe the perennial wrestler a man creative must love to torment with all the different reinventions they’ve attempted since his loss to Angle. And while they were at it they threw in the “Undefeated” Crimson, Philly and fans were not amused. So what do we have instead? Kurt wins the title from Sting. Aligns with Hogan after some asinine plot point about Dixie knowing Jarrett and Karen were a couple before he did. He turns around and puts down the young talent. A complete U turn from a couple years ago. Roode default wins BFG series and we get a month of Rocky vignettes. And a screw finish that would make Bret Hart blush. Thank you TNA.
Finally we have Aries vs Kendrick, a match that was first on the show and easily outshined most. The crowd was thoroughly behind Aries who proves once again what kind of presence he brings to any company. Dejected by ROH, WWE and if I remember correctly Chikara but when he returned to Impact Wrestling he cut one simple promo and was a “star” once more. Him having that belt gives more credence to it than a thousand Brian Kendricks. The man who in July saved the division from the Monster Abyss sank into oblivion once Austin Aries came on the scene. Kendrick may be talented but he always came across as a better tag partner than a full fledged solo star. A Marty Jannety who needed his Michaels (Paul London) Because to make matters worse he is the basic definition of a “vanilla midget” not much of a personality. They give him the Wizard of Odd gimmick the same they gave Amazing Red the color red as his. Coat him in any guise and he is still just vanilla. You have a division that includes Kid Kash, Zima Ion, Alex Shelley,Jesse Sorenson (who needs a better gimmick than a “Alex Riley” FCW run) and if they’re smart Eric Young. All these guys albeit Sorenson look to be able to run with the ball against Aries. To but asses in seats as it were. Now that the feud is over we can get an Alex Shelley feud with Aries. They have a shared history in the company and beyond.
Hopefully BFG is an eye opener for management to get their ducks in a row and move past this sub par PPV. This is the Starrcade of TNA make it mean as much. You can’t cheer home grown talent if you don’t push them properly. Look at Hogan for instance for a good year or so in WWF he was the man who worked his way with the crowd to a good build up against a credible heel before winning and defending against Andre and so forth. Meaning he was built up a winner someone the fans could cheer and love. Simple booking where the heels were the heels and the faces were the faces. No retcons. Especially in this internet savvy century.
Hot off the heels of a terrible turrible pay-per-view, Impact Wrestling returns to the airwaves to torment and torture us all. A few notables to consider coming off of that show, is that Angle retained and Sting is not your new champion. This means the Hogan/Sting debacle that should occur at Bound For Glory will not involve the belt. Of course, that is provided that Sting defeats Ric Flair tonight. If you’re wondering about the Bound For Glory tournament, it turns out that Bobby Roode is your winner. I’m not going to even bother to describe how badly TNA screwed up that thing… Let’s just get this crap over with.
TNA Wrestling has released the following statement about the recent debacle known as Victory Road:
AN IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT TO TNA WRESTLING FANS REGARDING SUNDAY’S VICTORY ROAD PAY-PER-VIEW
TNA Wrestling strives to give fans who purchase our pay-per-views as close to a full three-hour event as possible. This past Sunday’s “TNA Victory Road” fell short of that standard. Your support of TNA is never taken for granted. To show you how we value that support, we would like to offer six months of free access to the TNAondemand.com library.
To receive your free offer, please send us a copy of your Victory Road pay-per-view purchase receipt to :
Please be sure and submit your name, address, and email address, as we will be emailing a special code that will unlock over 300 hours of great TNA Wrestling action.
How entertaining was RAW at the Staples Center following the Denver Debacle? So entertaining, in fact, that my DVR – fell asleep. So here I am, all set to make my return to show reviews at BWF, but I didn’t get to see the last 30 minutes of RAW. So with that, I invite you to go visit our friends at World Wrestling Insanity for your RAW fix this week.
