ThinkSoJoE’s Thoughts: How to get over…
4 CommentsI haven’t done an original column here on bWf in a while, but with it being my (and JT’s) birthday today, I thought I’d write a column I’d thought up yesterday afternoon, entitled “How to get over…”
I haven’t done an original column here on bWf in a while, but with it being my (and JT’s) birthday today, I thought I’d write a column I’d thought up yesterday afternoon, entitled “How to get over…”
Well folks, it’s Monday Night RAW in Calgary! And once again, I reprised my role as a “seat filler” to ensure that the on air product appears to be full and energized (or at least what you good people saw on television). We’ll see if I can hack a wifi connection and get this up tonight. I won’t be recapping everything, just pointing out some stuff I saw that you at home did not.
(more…)
Well welcome all and a happy Columbus day for everybody here in the states and abroad if you celebrate it. Say what you will about but if it weren’t for him, than many of us wouldn’t be here, well at least not the way we are now. But since this is a wrestling site maybe I should talk wrestling shall we: (more…)
The torture that is Friday Night Smackdown has been lessened somewhat over the past little while… tonight may bring similar stories, or it might just nose-dive. You never can know with this show these days. It’s funny, for years Smackdown is where you went to watch matches in contrast to RAW being segment-heavy and dominated by self-serving power-brokers. Let’s see what the McMahon cohorts have in store for us tonight, shall we?
(more…)
I didn’t post this last night because I really wasn’t that excited about RAW. Anyway, I won’t be posting on next week until Tuesday, maybe Wednesday. I’m not going to be watching RAW. I’m joining my mother and grandmother to go see a show. I’m excited. Anyway, here’s the review!
The Main Event is Cena & Bret Hart vs Jericho & Edge with Nexus as Lumerjacks!
Bret Hart comes out in a Batman shirt and says that he’s upset that Jericho and Edge left and talks about Team WWE. He asks Jericho and Edge to join him in the ring, and says that if Nexus wins at SummerSlam, then everyone loses. Jericho makes his way to the ring, and Bret asks him to rejoin Team WWE, because this is Jericho’s time to make things right. Jericho still refuses, and tells Bret that Bret’s worried about losing tonight, and is frightened. Once again, Bret is screwed. Chris doesn’t want to team with either Cena or Bret, he just wants to dismantle Bret.
You think you know me…
Edge comes out and asks Jericho what’s wrong with him, they grew up idolizing him. Edge says he’s in, goes to attack Hart, Hart goes for Sharpshooter, Jericho pokes him in the eye. Jericho and Edge make their way out of the ring, and Natalya joins Bret in the ring. Nexus is backstage beating up Tyson and David Hart Smith. Wade says it’s not Bret’s day. Bret and Nat leave the rign and run backstage.
<COMMERCIAL>
@KeepItFiveStar “That’s what you get for not being a Hart, Tyson!” – Nexus
@dasharpshooters Michael Keaton looks like shit. #wwe #raw #bwf
@Niki_Sushi I want Bret to say ‘nut up or shut up’ so Chris can shove the mic in his mouth. #BWF
Medics are backstage with Hart Dynasty, Bret says he’s going to take things under his own hands. Cena stops him and tells him to stay with his family.
AWESOME!!!
United States Champion and Mister Money in the Bank The Miz vs Evan Bourne
Miz wins with a Skull Crushing Finale, but Evan had some great offense going, and a pretty sweet looking hurricanrana.
United States Champion The Miz wins via pinfall!
Miz gets mic and says he doesn’t care who has the WWE Championship after SummerSlam, when he’s ready to cash in, he will be the WWE Champion, because he’s the Miz and he’s AWESOME. Backstage, Cena is talking to Khali backstage.
<COMMERCIAL>
@kickoutblog Yeah, The Miz just murdered Evan Bourne.
@_MFS_ Bourne does shit like that and yet they still make him job… #WWE #RAW #BWF
@JCenadotcom Cole talking about The Miz requires me to mute the channel…
<VIDEO PACKAGE: Melina’s return.>
Melina vs. Diva’s Champion Alicia Fox
Not a horrible match, but I wasn’t all that impressed.
Melina wins via pinfall.
Khali is backstage with Josh and says that Ranjin Singh’s not here. Josh asks is Khali with WWE or Nexus? Khali says WWE, then jacks the mic and grumbles and mumbles a lot. He then challenges Wade Barrett to a match, said Josh… thankfully
<COMMERCIAL>
@RAWMysteryGM I know what Khali said and he will be punished accordingly for that outburst #WWE #bwf
@ KeepItFiveStar So The Great Khali vs. Glade Berry…?
@ _MFS_ what the fuck was that move supposed to be Alicia cause it looked like absolute shit #WWE #RAW #BWF
@redsandman99 I’m hoping that since Melina won tonight, Alicia wins at Summerslam. I love Melina but there should be proper feud for the title.
@dasharpshooters Dammit Khali you have been in this company for like 4 years and you cant speak english? #wwe #raw #BWF
As a result of Melina’s victory, Alicia will defend against Melina at SummerSlam.
Later tonight, Eve & Gail v Bellas v Maryse and Jillain in some bathing suit match thing, and Sheamus has called out Orton.
Chris Jericho and Edge are backstage complaining about Bret. They say if Nexus loses, it’s because they’re not on Team WWE, and they may have bitten off more than they can chew. Edge says they’ll survive whatever Nexus does, and Jericho says they’re architects and they make things happen. If they take out Cena and Hart, there’s no SummerSlam match, and they’re in the clear.
JoMo and R-Truth talking backstage. They say they got each other’s backs, but they need to find a replacement.
Mark Henry comes up and hears them say they need replacements, they just need him instead of two replacements, and to consider this match his audition. Nexus is watching on a big TV, and Wade nods to them. Everyone but Barrett leaves Nexus locker room.
<COMMERCIAL>
@YourBoyDrew Tweets are being swallowed, it’s like the Bella Twins, are operating twitter for me
@iwcmvp WWEShop.com has an interesting new item. For $35 Michael Tarver will come to your house and make you crap your pants in fear #WWE #RAW #BWF
Ted DiBiase with Maryse vs. Mark Henry
Henry’s attacked by Nexus before anything can happen.
Sheamus makes his way to the ring.
<COMMERCIAL>
@KeepItFiveStar Every week, we should place bets to see how long Mark Henry lasts before he gets his ass beat
@JCenadotcom Henry failed the audition then…
@Niki_Sushi Nexus is doin’ drive-by’s now!
@Bruce412 RIP Mark Henry #TeamNexus #WWE #bwf
@dasharpshooters Wait a minute there was a guy walking next to Maryse? I didnt notice. #wwe #Raw #bwf
<VIDEO PACKAGE: Randy Orton def. United States Champion The Miz>
It’s a shame that they lost their heads…
Sheamus to the ring. Mark Henry’s still trying to make it up the ramp, that fatass. Anyway, Sheamus says Randy is talking out his arse, and shows a video package of how he’s not afraid of Randy Orton.
<VIDEO PACKAGE: Sheamus’ destruction>
Who thinks he’s afraid of Orton? Everyone. Sheamus says he’s afraid of no one (except Nexus… <.<; ) and that he wants to call out Orton. Randy comes out and interrupts him. Orton has something to say first – Sheamus didn’t get in the ring because he was afraid last week. Sheamus blew an opportunity last week, and he’ll do the same at SummerSlam. Sheamus can do whatever he wants, but fact is Sheamus has never beaten Orton. Orton says he’s not Triple H or Cena. Sheamus says he’s not the WWE Champion either, and he won’t be after SummerSlam, and when he beats Orton, Orton will go back to the end of the line, and Orton’ll never get another title chance. Orton says he will beat Sheamus because Sheamus has never beaten Orton, but if Sheamus wants to redeem himself for not attacking last week, Orton says do something about it.
Sheamus, your title matches in the past have been marred with outside interference. Therefore, if anyone interferes in the WWE Champ match at SummerSlam, they will be suspended indefinitely. Furthermore, I agree with Sheamus. If Randy loses at SummerSlam, there will be no rematch, and he will go back to the end of the line. However, I also agree with Orton. If Sheamus is not scared, then I encourage him to do something about it, right now.
Sheamus goes to walk away, goes to attack Orton, stops, then walks away. Orton attacks instead, Sheamus runs the title into Orton’s face. Sheamus goes for boot, Orton dodges, and delivers a backbreaker to Sheamus. Sheamus is down, Randy backs up, then goes for a punt, but stops short. Sheamus is freaked. Orton rolls out and picks up the Championship
<COMMERCIAL>
@iwcmvp “What the hell, why is that jar of Mayo doing with the WWE title?, MMMMMMM Mayo” – Mark Henry #WWE #BWF
@dasharpshooters Mystery GM should get 2 minutes in the penalty box for instigating. #wwe #raw #bwf
@TheViperRKO951 I think Sheamus just craped himself #RAW
@SinisterAsh What will happen if the GM gets a virus?
@Niki_Sushi One day, the lights will blink and the power won’t come back on.
@KeepItFiveStar “IT’S A SHAMEFUL THING! LOBSTER HEAD!!!!”
@ThingsColeSays TOO MANY LIMES, TOO MANY LIMES!
Sheamus is still outside the ring, very pissed off. The Season Two NXT Rookies are in action, and I don’t care.
Three NXT Rookies vs Three NXT Rookies
Uh… The fat one won. O.o Husky Harris.
NXT Rookies win via squishing pinfall.
Sheamus attacks Rookies afterward, hitting the High Cross on Kaval. He then takes a mic and says that it was a message to the GM and Orton, and he promises to still be the WWE Champion next week.
Truth and Morrison make their way to the ring
<COMMERCIAL>
@kickoutblog Hey you know when this would be a good idea? Tomorrow night on NXT, but I guess we have kegs to carry and fat people to kiss then.
@kickoutblog Sheamus just did to NXT what I wish I could do to whoever is booking this show
@bojeeB Kool Aid man has died, Miracle Whip has lost his cool….
R-Truth and John Morrison vs. William Regal and Zack Ryder
I don’t know what happened… I was tweeting.
R-Truth and John Morrison win via pinfall.
<COMMERCIAL>
@wnwdotcom: Big win? They squashed two of the most irrelevant workers on the Raw roster!
@ThingsColeSays Since they couldn’t get Will Ferrall, the Bellas walk to the ring with their giant dildos. They will get off one way or another!
@KeepItFiveStar The fans don’t like you R-Truth. They like rap beats and being asked questions.
@iwcmvp Was I the only one who thought that red haired woman in the audience during Truth’s entrance was Heath Slater? #WWE #BWF
@RAWMysteryGM Coming up next The Bikini Contest, featuring surprise entrant Mae Young. Get the lotion ready folks, there will be some tuggin going on #BWF
Nikki and Brie Bella vs Eve Torres and Gail Kim vs Maryse and Jillian Hall
Don’t know, don’t care what happened here. Point is, they were all in bathing suits, and that is the only reason that this was even on. The entrance with the slide was dumb, and Santino and Vladimir couldn’t even save this… Okay, Santino did. I love that guy.
The Bellas win via crap ring work.
Tamina corners, so to speak, Santino, and then let’s him go, but slaps his ass as he walks by. Santion acts kind of embarrassed.
<VIDEO PACKAGE: The Monty loses to Big Boss Man at SummerSlam>
Khali on his way to ring, but is attacked by Nexus. Everyone saw this coming.
<COMMERCIAL>
@dasharpshooters Whats up with the PG swim wear? Fucking Lame #wwe #raw #bwf
@iwcmvp Santino and Kozlov look like human bottles of ketchup and mustard #WWE #RAW #BWF
@SinisterAsh Bella Twins winning matches make me want to punch a dry wall
@bethsharae Does this mean Khali is out too? I’m crossing my fingers… #Raw
@kickoutblog Weird how those two second backstage assaults are so much more devastating than an actual wrestling match. >_>
@TKeep123 Tamina wants a big old slice of Santino pie! Sweet! Must be the Uni-brow! Beware the Cobra! #WWE #RAW #BWF
Wade says that he was just informed that there will be no Khali vs Barrett match. Nexus will write a new chapter in the WWE after SummerSlam, and after they win at SummerSlam, the balance of power will shift dramatically and permanently. Nexus will beat Team WWE. Skip says they’re going to break Team WWE physically and mentally. Otunga says if anyone in the locker room is considering joining Team WWE, think about what they’ve done tonight, because you’re either Nexus or you’re against us.
Bret and Cena make their way to the ring and Miz comes up. Miz says their team’s in trouble, and they need help. He figures it was just a matter of time before they went looking for him, and he says he wants to hear them ask him to join their team. Bret says fine and asks if he’s in or out. Miz says he wants to hear it from both of them. Cena asks if he’s in or out, and Miz revels in Cena asking him for help before he says he’ll let them know Sunday. Cena says it’s a shame that they may need him.
<COMMERCIAL>
@TKeep123 Something tells me that 3/4 of the Nexus … have no idea what a Nexus is! #WWE #RAW #BWF
@kickoutblog Eat_Souls.MichaelTarver
@kickoutblog Michael Tarver was not given a microphone because if Sacramento heard his true voice, their heads would explode.
@IAmJHPunk Is Bret gonna wrestle in a Batman shirt? #wwe #raw #bwf
Next week Justin Long guest hosts RAW.
John Cena and Bret Hart vs Chris Jericho and Edge with Nexus as Lumberjacks
Cena tossed out, Nexus goes crazy. Jericho tossed out, Nexus doesn’t seem to give a shit, until Jericho hits Barrett by accident, and then Edge tries to help, Bret drags Gabriel in, Barrett drags him out. Nexus takes out Edge and Jericho, Morrison and Truth join Bret and Cena, Nexus gets in the ring. Edge and Jericho back away, then seem to debate whether or not to go back in the ring. Finally, Jericho and Edge rejoin Team WWE. Short brawl between Team WWE and Nexus. Nexus flees best they can, and Team WWE chases then out into the stands
Alright. I’m going to say it. Overall, not a great RAW. The best parts of RAW were the very first match, The Miz vs Evan Bourne, and then Randy Orton and Sheamus’ segment. I admit, the main event got better at the end, building the hype up by making Jericho and Edge return, but the rest of it? Total shit. Just sayin’. See everyone in a week, I hope! If I can’t get to RAW before Tuesday, then it’ll be two weeks! Ciao, darlings!
Hey, Everybody! It’s time for WWE Superstars again.
Match 1: Tiffany vs Co-Women’s Champion Layla (non-title match)
Somehow Tiffany is the number one contender. This is your standard Diva’s match. Michelle McCool interferes behind the referees back. Layla wins with the Lay-Out.
Match 2: Vance Archer and Kurt Hawkins vs The Dudebusters
Wasn’t Kurt Hawkins a Dudebuster in FCW? He gets the win over his former team with the flying elbow off the top rope. After the match, Archer and Hawkins tell the Hart Dynasty to pay attention and they will find them. I guess they are next in line for a tag title shot now.
Main Event: Zack Ryder vs Evan Bourne
Evan Bourne is the most exciting guy to watch in the WWE right now. He’s just spectacular. Bourne gets the win with the Shooting Star Press.
That’s it for this week. Join me again next week.
Match 1: Chris Masters and MVP w/Percy Watson vs The Dudebusters
MVP picks up the win for his team after he hit the 305 on Caylen Croft.
Match 2: Chavo Guerrero vs JTG
Chavo gets a rare win with the Frog Splash.
Match 3: Yoshi Tatsu vs Primo Colon
Primo gets the win after he stole his brother’s finisher.
Main Event: The Hart Dynasty vs The Uso’s
The Hart Dynasty gets the win with the Hart Attack. It was kinda cool looking. The Hart Attack was on Jay, but Tyson Kidd saw Jimmy coming and drop kicked him at the same time.
Terribly sorry everyone, but I feel like crap. I don’t know what’s wrong, I’m just exhausted and what not. So, thanks to that… I’m going to be shortening the RAW review to the bare minimum. Just the important parts and the matches/who won. So… yeah. Here we go!
According to the commercial that came on about five minutes before RAW did, Eve has invoked her rematch clause for the Diva’s Championship against Alicia Fox, and tonight, we’ll find out what the mystery General Manager has in store for Nexus.
We start of RAW with Nexus (and Wade Barrett this week) standing in a line in the ring. Wade says attacking Vince McMahon was just part of a bigger picture. Sheffield says that they attacked Ricky Steamboat and the Legends just for fun, which wasn’t why they attacked the others. An email from the GM says that he’s decided on a punishment for Nexus for their attack on Vince: None of the Nexus can compete for a WWE Title until further notice. Furthermore, the ruling of Nexus members not being able to touch WWE Superstars and vice-versa has been lifted. Cena comes out, followed by Randy, Truth, Evan, John Morrison, and the Hart Dynasty. the Superstars are attacked by Sheamus, Uso’s, Ted, Jericho, Miz, and Edge. Nexus has disappeared. The faces are left standing in the ring. Sheamus says that the heels don’t want to help him. Randy says that he and Cena will never be friends unless they have to, and says that they should finish what they started with the seven heels. An email from the GM says that if they want action, they’ll get it. All eight members of the Money in the Bank Ladder Match will be against one another in singles competition. Cena will face Barrett tonight, but it won’t be a match. The GM want Cena and Barrett to call a truce. Cena says that instead of calling a truce, how about he knocks Barrett’s teeth out. GM says he needs Cena to be the bigger man and he trusts Cena to do the right thing, or else his actions will be met with the appropriate consequences, and… that’s the bottom line, because the GM said so.
<COMMERCIAL>
John Morrison vs Ted DiBiase with Maryse
Maryse sits ringside and calls Cole out for calling her a gold digger. I’m actually a little amused by her, especially that she answered the phone during the match, and just insults Cole. It makes me laugh. Anyway, she jacks Morrison’s jacket and distracts him so that Ted can get a cheap shot… or four? DiBiase hits Dream Street for the win.
Ted DiBiase wins by pinfall.
Santino and Vladimir Kozlov make their way to the ring (“Italia and Russia together again! Like World War 2! Except this time, no Nazis.” – Santino Marealla), and later, John Cena and Wade Barrett are supposed to call a truce… yeah right.
<COMMERCIAL>
Slam of the Week: Vladimir Kozlov defeats Santino Marella and then beats up William Regal after Regal attacks Santino.
Santino Marella and Vladimir Kozlov vs William Regal and The Great Khali
Regal calls them oxygen thieves before the match even starts and makes me laugh. Regal calls Khali a monster, which makes me roll my eyes… At any rate, Kozlov demolishes Regal, then tags Santino in, almost getting in trouble, Santino gets demolished by Regal, and Kozlov pins Regal.
Vladimir Kozlov and Santino Marella win via pinfall.
After the match, Khali climbs in the ring, and tells Santino and Vladimir to stand Regal up, and just knocks him in the head. Khali and Santino, and Ranjin, dance, and Vladimir wonders where his days of glory went off to.
Later on tonight, Edge brings Chris Jericho and Evan Bourne to The Cutting Edge, as well as information on Ricky “The Dragon” Steamboat and the other Legends after last week’s assault.
<COMMERCIAL>
Arn Anderson says that Ricky’s attack was serious. Sheamus shows up and mocks Anderson, essentially, calling him a pathetic old man. Anderson says that they have to get out of the way of their egos and work on Nexus, or the company, and their careers, are going to go up in flames.
<COMMERCIAL>
United States Champion The Miz vs R-Truth
Miz come sout to Truth’s theme and is rapping, which made me die… It was hilarious. Before the match even starts, he starts beating on Truth, while I’m still laughing my ass off… Anyway, Miz just goes off on Truth’s arm. The bell never officially rang, but for my ego’s sake…
The United States Champion The Miz wins… by ass-kicking.
<COMMERCIAL>
The Cutting Edge: Money In the Bank Pay-Per-View Edition
Edge makes his way to the ring, set up with ladders, and the Money in the Bank briefcase. He says that he’s smarter than Randy and everyone else there. Why make seven enemies, when he can make seven powerful allies? They just need leadership, which he can provide. He goes to call out Evan Bourne, but Jericho comes out instead.
Jericho says he doesn’t take a back seat to anyone, and that Edge is shamelessly pandering to Nexus. He was Wade Barrett’s pro, and that helped him win the season. Chris told Barrett to make an impact, do something never done before. Edge rubs the loss to Evan Bourne in, and Jericho rubs Edge’s loss at Wrestlemania in. Edge starts to give Jericho a history lesson, but Edge just wants to be Jericho, according to Jericho. Edge gets sick of Jericho and attacks him. Jericho attacks back and puts Edge in the walls of Jericho, but Evan comes out and hits Jericho. Then, he jumps over a Spear, ducks under both of them, and flips right out of hte ring. Then the GM sends an email.
The GM says if the audience want to see some action, give him a HELL YEAH. So, they’re clearing the ring of The Cutting Edge stuff, and the following is going to take place.
<COMMERCIAL>
Edge and Chris Jericho vs Evan Bourne and Randy Orton
Starts off with Orton and Bourne getting some really good momentum, and then Jericho turns it around right before the commercial break. When we come back, Edge still has the momentum over Bourne, mostly thanks to Jericho beating Bourne during the break. Randy almost had Jericho set up for the RKO, but Edge interfered and Jericho manage to hit the insigari. Bourne gets tagged in, and Jericho starts to yell and berate Edge, so Edge spears him. Bourne hits the Air Bourne for the win.
Randy Orton and Evan Bourne win via pinfall.
Afterward, Randy hits an RKO on Evan, and smirks toward the ramp.
<COMMERCIAL>
Randy walks backstage, and Nexus stops him. Otunga says that nothing was against Randy, but the WWE Championship match at Fatal 4Way was just to make a statement. They’re trying to apologize, and they won’t interfere in the Money in the Bank Ladder Match, but they can’t promise anything for the steel cage match. Otunga says he wants Randy to think about hit next time Cena tries to recruit him. Randy says he’s heard what they have to say, now get out of his face.
During the previous commercial break, the GM emailed and said that the Hart Dynasty would defend their Unified Tag Team Championships against The Uso’s. The Uso’s and Tamina tell Josh Matthews that this is the opportunity of the lifetime. They say they’ll be the new Tag Team Champions, and next week, everyone will know what the Uso’s and Tamina are all about. Alicia seems upset that she hasn’t been interviewed once since she became the Diva’s Champion. She asks if it’s because she’s not important, or because he doesn’t care what she has to say, and the WWE Universe says that, yeah, she’s pretty much right. Anyway, next is the Diva’s Championship match.
<COMMERCIAL>
Diva’s Champion Alicia Fox vs Eve Torres for the Diva’s Championship
Pretty standard Diva’s match, with Alicia faking an ankle injury to get Eve off guard to retain.
Diva’s Champion Alicia Fox retains via pinfall.
<COMMERCIAL>
The GM says that next week, Edge and Randy Orton will go one on one.
Wade Barrett makes his way to the ring as we get back from the commercial break. Wade says that he wants Cena to come out so they can shake hands like men.
BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR RUBBER FOOD!!!!
Cena comes out and starts checking for Nexus. He gets in the ring, still looking for Nexus. Wade says that Cena is not in Nexus’ future plans, regardless of what they’ve done. Barrett wants to put everything in the past behind them so that they can move on. The simple fact is that the Nexus Seven are going to be there for a long time and can make his life easy, or a lot harder than it has been. The choice is Cena’s.
Cena asks, if they shake hands, it stops? No more looking over his shoulder? Cena says that the anonymous GM wanted to do this truce, but Cena needs to know if Barrett does, and he needs Barrett’s word. If they shake hands, this stops. Cena holds his hand out, and Barrett goes to shake it, but Cena pulls his hand away and asks why stop when they’re having so much fun?! Cena says take your truces, handshakes, future plans, blah blah blah, crumple them, and stuff them up your Nexus. The future is that Cena takes down Nexus, whether he does it himself, has help, he gets to every single one of them.
Barrett says that the fact that Cena is even capable of standing in the ring is a testament to, basically, how it isn’t about him. Barrett is warning Cena: Shake his hand, or Cena will face some very, very severe consequences. Cena grabs his hand, then starts to get him in an Attitude Adjustment. The Nexus Seven come out, but then dso does Evan Bourne, John Morrison, Mark Henry, Khali, Goldust, Kozlov, Santino, the Hart Dynasty, Yoshi Tatsu… and I think that was all… it got hard to tell. Sorry. Basically, Nexus is then shoved out of the ring, except Darren Young, who got bitch slapped by Mark Henry.
The GM sends an email: I wanted peace, so if things don’t stop now, there will be consequences. Cena puts Young in the STF. The GM sends another email: Cena, because of your actions, you will now face all members of the Nexus next week in a seven-on-one handicapped match. Cena then begins hammering away on Darren Young again. Cena then throws the “steel” ring steps at Darren Young’s head, throws Young over the announce table, and then shoves the announce table over on Young.
Next week, I guess we’ll see more of the Nexus. Until then, seeya around.
Alright, this is my first time posting this myself, so forgive me if it comes out looking a little weird or anything!!
So, I had to start about a half hour late, due to class and trying to eat. However, my friend, @Niki_Sushi covered me on what happened, though I didn’t miss that much.
Apparently, Smackdown General Manager, Theodore Long and RAW General Manager, Bret Hart, have asked the Miami audience to vote on what match should happen later on. I don’t know what the choices were, but the result is Edge vs Randy Orton in match, where Edge will have one hand tied behind his back.
Next, the fans vote between a bodyslam match, a submission match, or an Over the Top Rope match for Big Show and Chris Jericho. They chose a BodySlam match.
Big Show vs Chris Jericho in BodySlam Match
Show hit him in a submission, and then threw him over the top rope anyway.
Big Show wins.
Who will face the Hart Dynasty? The Usos, The DudeBusters, or Hornswoggle and The Great Khali? Vote now!
<COMMERCIAL>
@TKeep123 For tonight’s #RAW I’m actually going to try and believe that internet voting really counts! :} #WWE #BWF
We come back to RAW to see the Hart Dynasty in the ring. Matt Striker tells us that The Great Khali and Hornswoggle will be facing the Hart Dynasty.
Unified Tag Team Champions The Hart Dynasty vs The Great Khali and Hornswoggle
Not sure what happened, but it was a quick match.
Hart Dynasty wins.
The Usos attack, but Hart Dynasty finally managed to gain the upper hand and kick the Usos out of the ring. As Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler are talking, Jerry starts looking around, and then says that they have a problem, and then walks off.
SMACKDOWN REPLAY: Kane found Taker in a vegitative state over Memorial Day weekened. I have no idea what happened here, because I wasn’t here. Either way, just sounds like what was on Smackdown. Up next, the cast of The A-Team arrives!!
<COMMERCIAL>
@Bruce412 Is King going to go get JR to save this damn show? #WWE #BWF
Justin Roberts introduces the cast of The A-Team, but only Bradley Cooper comes out. He says that he’s not sure where the others are, but The A-Team opens in theaters nationwide on Friday, and he says that he’s excited to host RAW tonight. The screen moves, and we see Jerry Lawler walking around backstage. People stop him, but he claims he’s looking for someone. The other two cast members from The A-Team show up and King says that someone stole his crown. Rampage says that he thinks he knows who has it, and they leave. However, the Bella Whores I MEAN TWINS start talking and talking, and I don’t know what they said, becuse I don’t like them!!
Next up, Santino comes up, and we’re told that the choices for this match are either an actual match, an arm-wrestling competition, or a dance-off. Three guesses what this one’s gonna be…
<COMMERCIAL>
Vladimir Kozlov comes out and gets in the ring, and then Matt Striker tells us that the fans voted on a dance-off. Surprise. Surprise.
Santino Marella vs Vladimir Kozlov in a Dace-Off
Santino starts first and it’s surprisingly not that bad. I mean, it’s not that great, but it’s not that bad. He does the running man, I believe, turned his Cobra move into a dance move, a Chippendale type thing, and then ended it with his Cobra again. Now, it’s Vlaidimir’s turn. The Moscow Mauler shows that he actually does have some kind of rthym, and manages to win. Oh, and Cole, it’s not vintage if he’s never done it before. Shut up.
Vladimir Kozlov wins dance-off
He does some weird ass belly roll thing and then dances with Santino, and leaves the ring. Whatever. Next up, you vote on the Diva’s action!! Either a six-on-six Diva Tag Match, a Diva Battle Royal, or a Champion vs Champion match!!
<COMMERCIAL>
All the Divas come out to the ring to Eve’s music, and Jerry’s in the ring. He says that you all voted, and the Diva’s match will be a Diva’s Battle Royal!
Divas Battle Royal
I hate trying to cover Battle Royals, because my ADD kicks in. Anyway, here’s the order of eliminations: Rosa Mendes, Tiffany, Kelly Kelly, Alicia Fox, Gail Kim, Nikki or Brie Bella, Brie or Nikki Bella, Layla, Michelle McCool, Eve Torres and Jillian Hall.
Winner: Maryse
Later on tonight, Edge takes on Randy Orton, with one arm tied behind his back.
Sheamus makes his way to the ring (I assume), and is stopped by Kane, who says that just because Sheamus is on RAW and not on Smackdown doesn’t mean that he’s off the hook. Sheamus took out Triple H to make a name for himself, and Kane says that Sheamus would do the same to The Undertaker. Sheamus says that he wouldn’t be shy about it, and he’d do it out in the open. Sheamus goes on to say that he doesn’t take kindly to false accusations, and Kane says he doesn’t take kindly to liars.
Next up, yu choose who Sheamus should face: Kane, Mark Henry, or Evan Bourne.
<COMMERCIAL>
@steveaustinweb Natalya couldn’t be in this one!? #RAW
@alisha225 SHEAMUS A. GETS A TAN B. GETS COLORED IN C. DISAPPEARS
@ThingsColeSays If Kane set Sheamus’ hair on fire, would anybody even notice?
We come back to Sheamus in the ring, and a flashback to last week. You know, where Evan Bourne teamed up with John Cena to actually be in a main event? That they won? AGAINST SHEAMUS AND EDGE?! That one. Matt Striker then says who the opponent is, and OMG MARK HENRY GOT RID OF THE KOOL-AID MAN GEAR!
Sheamus vs Kane
Holy condiment man, Batman!! Sheamus looked freaked out, which made me happy, because it was just like the old days! You know, when Kane didn’t lose every other match to guys like Dolph Ziggler. Anyway, the match begins, and Kane immediatly gets the upper hand and hurls Sheamus over the top rope. He follows Sheamus out of the ring, beating on his arm for a bit before thowing him back in the ring. Kane goes up to the top turnbuckle, but Sheamus knocks his leg out from under him, and hits him with some forearms. Sheamus then hits a running powerslam, though it looked more like a waddling powerslam to me, and goes for a cover. Kane kicks out at two, and Sheamus dominates going into the commercial.
<COMMERCIAL>
We come back to see Sheamus going for a cover, but Kane kicks out a two. So, Sheamus tries his luck at a submission, but Kane powers out and pushes Sheamus into the ropes, dropping a big boot on Sheamus’ head. The two exchange slaps for a minute before Kane gains the upper hand, Irish Whipping Sheamus, then clotheslining him. He hits a sidewalk slam, then his usual dropkick to the mouth, and goes for a cover. Sheamus kicks out at two. Kane goes to the top rope and hits a clothesline on Sheamus. Kane goes for a chokeslam, but Sheamus kicks Kane in the gut. Sheamus misses with an Axe Handle, and Kane goes for a chokeslam. Sheamus gets out and counters with a backbreaker on Kane. Sheamus then goes for his big boot, but Kane goes for a chokeslam, and simply shoves Sheamus out of the ring. Sheamus gets back in and goes for another boot to the face, but Kane counters with the chokeslam. Sheamus rolls out of the ring, and doesn’t get back in.
Kane wins via Count Out.
Later on, WWE Champion John Cena will fight World Heavyweight Champion Jack Swagger, Rey Mysterio, or CM Punk
<COMMERCIAL>
@Niki_Sushi gotta admit it. I love the photo-shopped sling on Randy.
Congratulations to Wade Barrett for winning NXT! The NXT ring announcer, Savannah, greets and congratulates Wade for his win. She asks what it’s like to win, and he tells her that asking him that is like asking a genius how it feels to pass a school exam. He says not to ask him that until after he makes history later.
Ted and Virgil are talking about Viewer’s Choice, and Ted says he should be running the show. Rampage and Murdoch (I know I’m mixing names here, but I don’t care) show up and say that they know that Ted has Jerry’s crown. Ted says he could buy whatever he wants, and the last thing he wants is Jerry’s crown. Murdoch says that he’s going to bring out the lie detector, and Ted says they don’t work. Rampage gets nose-to-nose with Virgil and says that it’s not that kind of lie detector. IRS shows up, wearing Jerry’s crown, and says that since Jerry never paid backtaxes on the jewels, it’s his. Ted then says that he knows who they are and that the crown was only bait. Smoke fills the room, and Murdoch passes out as Ted, Virgil, and IRS grab Rampage.
Next up, R-Truth and The Miz have a tag team match!! You vote on their tag team partners. For Truth, you can choose Christian, MVP, or John Morrison. For Miz, you can choose Dolph Ziggler, William Regal, or Zack Ryder.
<COMMERCIAL>
R-Truth comes out and says that the WWE Universe had the power tonight to pick his tag-team pertner, and he wants to know who it is. So, the poll comes up and it was John Morrison!! Next, The Miz comes out, saying that the WWE Universe obviously doesn’t know what they’re doing. They chose John Morrison, after they chose Khali and Hornswoggle to face the Hart Dynasty, and then chose Vladimir to do a dance-off, so Miz doesn’t care who his partner is. All that matters is that Miz wins tonight so that he can go about getting his United States Championship back.
United States Champion R-Truth and John Morrison vs The Miz and Zack Ryder
Miz and R-Truth start it out, and Miz gets the upperhand. Truth manages to avoid Miz, and hip tosses Miz. He then tags in Morrison. They Irish Whipped him at the same time, and hip tossed him together. Morrison grabs Miz and tags Truth back in, the two double slam, and then Truth goes for a cover, but Miz kicks out at two. Miz kicks Truth in the face and tags in Zack Ryder. Ryder hits Truth with a neck breaker, and then goes for a cover, but Truth kicks out at one. Ryder moves and tags Miz back in, and Miz kicks Truth in the gut. He punches Truth in the face, kicks him in the head, and then bounces off the rope to kick Truth in the face. He then covers Truth, only for Truth to kick out at two. Miz gets Truth in a headlock, and Truth tosses Miz behind him, and they’re both down. Truth goes to tag Morrison, and Miz grabs his ankle, only ending up in pulling off his shoe as Morrison is tagged in. Morrison hits Miz with a clothesline, then an Irish Whip into a flying chuck. Morrison then knocks Ryder off the apron, and hits Miz with a knee to the face. Morrison goes to cover Miz, but Ryder breaks it up. Truth comes in, smacking Ryder around, until Miz grabs Truth. Truth then slaps Miz, Ryder shoves Truth out of the ring, and Morrison kicks Ryder out. He then turns his attention to Miz, who moves so that Morrison’s shoulder meets the ring post. Miz hits the Skull Crushing Finale, goes for the cover and wins with a three count.
The Miz and Zack Ryder win.
Edge and Bret are talking backstage, and Edge says that it’s not fair. Bret says that, fair or not, it’s going to happen. Edge walks off, and Bret starts to walk away, only for Kane to come out and call Bret out. Kane says that if he finds out it was Bret, then he will be in a vegetative state, just like the Undertaker is.
<COMMERCIAL>
@jenrae73 My 50yr old alcoholic Aunt has the same shirt R-Truth is wearing 2nite. #Raw #WWE #BWF
Edge vs Randy Orton with Edge’s hand tied behind his back
Edge comes out, and there is a flashback to last week, when Randy RKO’d Edge in the ring, and Edge retaliated by slamming the door shut on Randy’s shoulder. Randy comes out afterward in a sling. The ref ties Edge’s arm behind his back, and then the match begins. Edge goes for a clothesline, but Randy ducks it. Edge goes for a kick, but Randy ducks and retaliates with a clothesline of his own, and proceeds to stop on Edge. Randy went for a left-handed RKO, but missed, and Edge knocked him down. Edge manages to get his arm free and goes at Randy’s shoulder before the ref pulls him away. Edge breaks away from the ref and does it again, before the ref calls for the bell.
Randy wins via DQ
Edge moves to the opposite corner and prepares for the spear. He goes for it, but Randy kicks at Edge and then kicks him right out of the ring. He then follows Edge, but Edge had a chair and hits Randy’s shoulder with it. When Randy goes down, Edge hits him again with it. As Edge walks backstage, Jerry Lawler and Michael Cole tries to figure out if Edge knocked Randy’s shoulder out of socket.
<COMMERCIAL>
We come back to Evan and John talking to each other about last week. Savannah comes up after Evan walks away and asks Cena how he feels about not knowing his opponent tonight. He says that he feels better about this match that he does about Fatal 4Way, since he has to face three different men. At least in this match, it’s just one. Besides, he feels that the decision is left up to the most able-bodied decision makers on the show: The WWE Universe.
The camera goes to the locker room where Murdoch was, and Mean Gene is talking to him, saying that he has a chance to surpass the previous A-Team, and he hopes that Murdoch will do a better job of it then Josh Matthews did of replacing him. Murdoch seems to get an idea and takes off.
Drew McIntyre makes his way to the ring, and Teddy Long comes on, saying that the choices for Drew’s opponent are Yoshi Tatsu, Goldust, or a Mystery Man!!
<COMMERCIAL>
Drew McIntyre vs Mystery Man… Matt Hardy!
Obviously not surprising, the Mystery Man is Matt Hardy. When Matt comes out, Drew grabs a mic and says that this match isn’t happening because Matt is suspended. Teddy comes out and says that, unfortunately for Drew, Matt’s only suspended from Smackdown, not from RAW, so the match is taking place. Drew starts to say something, but before he can say anything else, Matt smacks him and then tackles Drew. Matt hits a clothesline and throws Drew out of the ring, bouncing his head off the announce table, and then throwing him right into Michael Cole. Matt then hurls him into the barricade, a ring post, then headbutts him before getting Drew back in the ring. Drew manages to retaliate with a kick, but they’re both down. Drew runs at Matt, and Matt moves, sending Drew right into the pole. Matt hits the Twist of Fate for the win.
Matt Hardy wins
Matt continues to assault Drew after the match, throwing the ref away when he tries to stop Matt. Matt ends up yanking out a pretty nice sized chunk of Drew’s hair.
The camera shows Rampage chained to a chair and he asks Ted what he wants with him. Ted says that it’s not important right now. Right now, they’re going to the ring.
<COMMERCIAL>
Ted, Virgil, and IRS handcuff Rampage to the ring ropes, and hold him back. Ted says that he’s doing this because everyone has a price, even him. Someone said they wanted Ramapge delivered to them on a silver patter, and Ted said to name their price. So, it was paid, and now Rampage was all theirs. The person that comes out to claim Rampage would be none other than Rowdy Roddy Piper. Piper says that at Wrestlemania I, he shut everyone up who kept saying that The A-Team was te hottest show on television, and he silenced the old Mr. T. Now, he says he has to silence another “Mr. T”, and he’s not going to see The A-Team. Piper pities the fool who mess with Hot Rod.
However, Dusty Rhodes, Mean Gene, and Murdoch make their way to the ring. Rampage shoves IRS and Virgil away, and pulls his hand free from the handcuff. IRS goes for a clothesline on Rhodes, and Rhodes dodges, elbowing him in the head instead. Virgil and Piper just stand there, looking at Rampage and Rhodes. Rampage slams Virgil, and Piper leaves the ring. Gene asks how they did it, and Murdoch says he remembered where he was and that he needed to call Dusty for help.
Voting is open, so you can now choose whether WWE Champion John Cena faces World Heavyweight Champion Jack Swagger, Rey Mysterio, or CM Punk.
<COMMERCIAL>
Next week’s guest host is USA Network’s Original Series Royal Pains Star, Mark Feuerstien, and I’m pretty sure I heard that Big Show is going to be hosting with him! Josh Matthews shows up with Rey Mysterio, Jack Swagger, and the Straight Edge Society, and asks them all why they should be competing against Cena tonight. Rey says that in order to get to the top, you have to go after whoever is on top. Swagger bascially just says that it’ll be Champion vs Champion, and Punk says that he can make Cena a better person.
Brrrrrr LEATHER SHOES!!!
Cena makes his way out to the ring, and Matt Striker lets us know who the pick was for Cena’s opponent tonight.
WWE Champion John Cena vs CM Punk with Straight Edge Society
As soon as the bell rings, Cena goes for the mask, and Punk rolls right out of the ring. It looks to me like CM Punk met up with the Bellas backstage and totally jacked their ring gear. Anyway, Punk gets the upperhand when he gets back in and puts Cena in a headlock. Cena counters with a shoulder block and flips Punk, putting him in a headlock. Punk reverses, then Cena counters, and goes for the mask again. Punk rolls out. When he gets back in, he goes for a lockup, but knees Cena in the gut, followed by his shoulder. He flips Cena, drops a dropkick to the back of Cena’s head, and goes for a cover. Cena kicks out at two. Punk gets Cena in a submission hold, but Cena powers out and goes for the STF, but Punk grabs the ropes. Punk misses a clothesline, and Cena Irish Whips him across the ring, hitting a bulldog. He goes for another move, but Luke Gallows grabs his ankles, sending him to the mat, rolling around.
<COMMERCIAL>
@TKeep123 CM Punk is looking like an Amish Luchador! #WWE #RAW #BWF
We return to Punk holding Cena in a headlock. Cena counters to a fireman’s carry, but Punk counters it. Punk goes for a cover, but Cena kicks out at two. Cena ends up outside the ring, and Serena kicks Cena. Cena is then kicked by Punk and put back in the ring. Cena starts to fight back, then goes to Irish Whip Punk, just for Punk to reverse it. Cena ducks a clothesline, then hits Punk with two shoulder tackles, and a takedown. Cena pauses as he sees Wade Barrett begin making his way down the ramp. Cena ignores him for a minute, and hits the Five Knuckle Shuffle and lifts Punk up to a fireman’s carry. But, he drops Punk and tells Barrett to make his move.
Okay, here is about where I got too confused to keep up with the show, unfortunately.
The Season One NXT Rookies appeared from frigging nowhere and started to tear everything apart. They took apart the ring, the barricades, announce table, beat the hell out of Cena, stripped Justin Roberts, choked him with his own tie, beat the hell out of Jerry Lawler… I don’t know what happened, to be honest. I think they were spending too much time alone with Sheamus in a room with nothing but black lights and all that fluorescent finally got to their heads…
Anyway, I don’t know what that was all about, and hopefully the WWE will explain it next week! And with that, I’ll see you next week!
Let’s just get into this shall we.
Match 1: Gail Kim vs Jillian Hall
I think I have a great idea for Superstars. The show should just feature diva’s and contenders for the US and IC titles. At least then, the show would make some type of sense. Instead, we are forced to see random matches that make no sense except to give some of the talent a little bit of exposure. Anyways…Gail wins with her jaw breaker finisher.
Match 2: Zack Ryder w/Rosa Mendez vs Primo
I guess this will be the last time we see Ryder and Rosa together, as she was drafted to Smackdown in the supplemental draft on Tuesday. Ryder should be pushed into the US title race soon. Maybe with Edge on RAW, we can get some type of storyline between them. Ryder wins with the Zack Attack.
Match 3: The new Unified Tag Team Champions The Hart Dynasty vs The Dudebusters
Those title look natural with the Hart Dynasty. David Hart Smith is looking a little less pudgy these days and has gotten a lot better in the ring. For some reason, Matt Striker called Natalya “Lady Gaga”…ok??? The Hart Dynasty wins with the Hart Attack.
See ya next week, my peeps.