Tag Archive: Five Minutes

  1. RYTMAN’S RAW RECAP/REVIEW – 04/08/2013

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    Let’s do something a little different.  Instead of going segment by segment, I’m going to summarize each storyline in regards to how it was played out on the show, and offer my comments where I feel the need.

    1.) CENA VS. MARK HENRY: THE RISE OF RYBACK – So we kicked off RAW with a word from our new WWE champion, John Cena.  Jersey is NOT part of the CE-Nation, and their response makes it clear.  Cena plays off the crowd’s hostility by joking about all the great things that come with being champ, like the applause.  Cena offers to dance for the crowd, using this as context for teasing a “heel-turn,” and offers a title shot to whoever wants one tonight.  Mark Henry comes out to take him up on it.  Booker T comes out and says Henry has to beat Cena in a match to get a title shot.

    Let’s fast forward to our main event, Cena vs. Henry.  Less than a minute in, it spills out of the ring to the outside.  Both men tease a table spot (which is a whole friggin thing in itself we’ll get to.) Henry sends Cena into the post.  Cena whips Henry into the stairs AND GETS THE WIN BY COUNT OUT.  OUR “MAIN EVENT” BARELY WENT FIVE MINUTES AND MORE THAN THREE SPOTS!!!

    Henry responds to this by laying out Cena (much to the crowds’ delight,) and hoisting the belt up.  Ryback comes out and runs off Henry.  Ryback glares at Cena and the crowd gets excited.  Ryback helps Cena up and the crowd gets less excited.  Ryback gets a “FEED ME MORE,” chant going and CENA TAKES A CLOTHESLINE!  Ryback gives the champ the Shell-shock and holds the belt up to a cheering crowd as RAW ends.

    Rytman Remarks: So, Henry, the only established heel at Wrestlemania who won a singles match, has to beat Cena in a non-title match, to get a title shot?

    Fine

    Booker T, General Manager of Smackdown, can dictate who gets WWE title shots on RAW?

    Fine

    The match itself can’t have more than five spots and go more than five minutes?

    Okay, Fine.

    BUT NOW YOU’RE GOING TO GIVE THE PUSH TO THE GUY YOU BOOKED TO CHOKE IN EVERY BIG MATCH YOU PUT HIM IN?  GIVING HENRY A SHOT WOULD BRING ABOUT THE END OF ALL LIFE IN THE WWE UNIVERSE OR SOMETHING!?

    I seriously don’t know why I’m still watching this crap.

    2.) ORTON/SHEAMUS BOTH WANT BIG SHOW – Orton, backstage in Vicki’s office w/her and Brad Maddox, demands a match w/Big Show, wanting payback for what happened at Mania.  “Briki” (Brad and Vicki) agrees, reminding Sheamus he’d owe them a big favor for this.

    Later in the show, Randy Orton goes to Booker T, asking HIM for a shot at big show, saying it was his mistake to trust big show, and wants to make good on it.  When Booker tells him Vicki already made the match w/Sheamus, he brown-noses Booker into over-ruling Vicki, on the grounds he’s a GM, and she’s a Managing Supervisor.  Booker decides to make it happen.

    Later, we get a pre-recorded interview from Natalya with Big Show.  Show blames his team-mates for what happened, saying they turned on him by not giving him the hot tag.  Show says from now on, he’s all about the Big Show.

    Later in the show, both Orton and Sheamus came out to the ring and asked the crowd who’d they like to see kick Big Show’s ass.  Cole tells us to use the WWE ACTIVE APP and vote on Twitter for who we want.  One commercial break later, Booker and Vicki come out together on the same page, making a Sheamus vs. Orton match w/the winner getting Big Show, making the Twitter thing totally irrelevant.

    The match itself is hard fought, and both men hit their major spots, but it ends with the Big Show taking matters into his own hands.  He tosses Sheamus away like nothing and BRUTALIZES Randy Orton for about twenty minutes.  Orton is pounded on, and tossed around like a sack of rag-dolls.  Show tosses Orton hard over the announce table into the seats, and then tosses the seats all over the place.  Show leaves Orton broken on the ground, and walks off to a hero’s reception from the crowd. (This crowd was another whole thing we’ll get to.)

    Rytman Remarks: Orton and Randy are fighting over who gets to beat up the guy they didn’t trust in the first place, but teamed up with anyway and then lost the match because they didn’t tag him, and he got mad and punched them out.  Gotcha! 

    The interesting thing is, during the interview with Natalya, Show played hurt by his team not trusting him, like he really wanted to be part of something, and pulled it off pretty damn well.  I actually felt bad for him.    

     3.) ALBERTO DEL RIO VS JACK SWAGGER & ZEB COULTER: YOUR WINNER, DOLPH ZIGGLER! – World Heavyweight Champion Alberto Del Rio (w/Ricardo Rodriguez,) faced Swagger in a handicap match w/Zeb Coulter as Swagger’s partner.  Before the match, Zeb took the mike and actually pleaded with the crowd for their support.  He even got a small “USA” chant going.  The match was primarily Del Rio and Swagger with Zeb hanging back on the outside.  Del Rio managed to win it, but Swagger had worked the ankle/leg the whole match and Del Rio had ringside attendants looking at him.

    Cue Dolph Ziggler.

    Dolph chose that moment to Cash in his MiTB briefcase on Del Rio.  Del Rio managed to muster up enough offense to get Ziggler in the Cross-Arm-Breaker.  Ziggler escaped by working the injured ankle and won with a Zig-Zag for the three.  Later in the show, Ziggler is interviewed, saying it’s “about damn time” this happened.

    Rytman Remarks: during the whole match, the crowd chanted “we want Ziggler,” until he finally came out.  I’m thinking Del Rio and Swagger are both gonna sit out a few shows.

     4.) UNDERTAKER PROMO: IN THE SIGHTS OF THE SHIELD – Undertaker comes out to do a promo.  He talks about dedicating his win to Paul Bearer…

    SIERRA, HOTEL, INDIA, ECHO, LIMA, DELTA, BELIVE IN THE SHIELD

    The Shield makes their way towards the Dead-man.  They’ve got Taker surrounded when the pyro goes off and Team Hell No (Kane and Bryan) run out to offer back up.  The Shield calls it a night and head off.

    Rytman Remarks: A feud w/the Undertaker to set up a program with the tag team champions?  I like it, which is why it won’t happen.

     5.) FAHHHHN-DAHHHN-GO-OW! – So Fandango got a rematch with Kofi Kingston, from last month when he was supposed to debut on RAW.  The match goes less than ten minutes before Chris Jericho runs out and beats down Fandango, who gets the win by DQ.  After the match, Fandango still has enough in him to take a mike and do the bit with his name.

    Rytman Remark: I’ll give the guy credit for sticking with it, but I’m thinking the last dance is coming up soon.

    6.) “A BAD NIGHT FOR PAUL HEYMAN GUYS.” – Paul Heyman gets interviewed about how bad Wrestlemania went for him.  Heyman points out that Triple H finished the night with a broken (which we saw earlier in an exclusive,) arm and Shawn Michaels got his face smashed in.  He says Lesnar is here and ready to fight, but not for free.  He tells us C.M. Punk will speak for himself… next week, swerving the disappointed crowd.

    Now let’s look at the results from the few “filler” matches…

    BIG E. LANGSTON DEF DANIEL BRYAN – High point was Big E. tossing Bryan over the top rope onto Kane.

    Rytman Remark: Would’ve made sense to book this match BEFORE MANIA!

    WADE BARRETT DEF. THE MIZ – BARRETT NEW INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPION

    Rytman Remark: Decent match but I’m not expecting Barrett’s stock to skyrocket.  There was a noticeable “botch” when Miz went for the knee-drop/neck-breaker combo and Barrett dropped too soon. (Michael Cole, at ringside, tried to sell it as a “sit-out” attempt by Barrett.)

    R-TRUTH, RYDER, AND SANTINO MORELLA DEF 3MB

    RR; Went maybe seven minutes and was more of an actual match then the main event.

    TONS OF FUNK/THE FUNKADAYCTALS DEF THE BELLA SISTERS/TEAM RHODES SCHOLARS

    RR; High point was Brie/Nikki giving “Sweet T” a double butt-bump to the head.

    A few other points of interest…

    One guy in the crowd managed to get his “WE WANT PAGE” sign on camera almost all night.  Apparently, we can’t get her jobbing out to AJ and the Bella Sisters fast enough.

    There seemed to be a contract out on the announcers table tonight.  It wound up collateral damage in almost every brawl tonight.  (Big Show’s rampage, Jericho’s payback, maybe during Del Rio Swagger,) In the Main Event, Cena and Henry both teased putting each other through it but never came across.

    And now, we get to the real stars of this show…

    This fucking crowd

    Credit where it’s due, these folks decided they were going to have some kind of fun at this show and they did, to the detriment of the WWE.  Some of their highlights included “singing along” to Fandango’s music and cheering for RVD, Randy Savage, and anyone/thing other than Sheamus or Orton during their match.

    Overall, this was a weird RAW.  It had some high points, but it wasn’t the best follow-up to a lackluster Mania.

    Smackdown, the ball’s in your court.

  2. RAW 7.5.10

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    Terribly sorry everyone, but I feel like crap.  I don’t know what’s wrong, I’m just exhausted and what not.  So, thanks to that… I’m going to be shortening the RAW review to the bare minimum.  Just the important parts and the matches/who won.  So… yeah.  Here we go!

    According to the commercial that came on about five minutes before RAW did, Eve has invoked her rematch clause for the Diva’s Championship against Alicia Fox, and tonight, we’ll find out what the mystery General Manager has in store for Nexus.

    We start of RAW with Nexus (and Wade Barrett this week) standing in a line in the ring.  Wade says attacking Vince McMahon was just part of a bigger picture.  Sheffield says that they attacked Ricky Steamboat and the Legends just for fun, which wasn’t why they attacked the others.    An email from the GM says that he’s decided on a punishment for Nexus for their attack on Vince: None of the Nexus can compete for a WWE Title until further notice.  Furthermore, the ruling of Nexus members not being able to touch WWE Superstars and vice-versa has been lifted.  Cena comes out, followed by Randy, Truth, Evan, John Morrison, and the Hart Dynasty.  the Superstars are attacked by Sheamus, Uso’s, Ted, Jericho, Miz, and Edge.  Nexus has disappeared.  The faces are left standing in the ring.  Sheamus says that the heels don’t want to help him.  Randy says that he and Cena will never be friends unless they have to, and says that they should finish what they started with the seven heels.  An email from the GM says that if they want action, they’ll get it.  All eight members of the Money in the Bank Ladder Match will be against one another in singles competition.  Cena will face Barrett tonight, but it won’t be a match.  The GM want Cena and Barrett to call a truce.  Cena says that instead of calling a truce, how about he knocks Barrett’s teeth out.  GM says he needs Cena to be the bigger man and he trusts Cena to do the right thing, or else his  actions will be met with the appropriate consequences, and… that’s the bottom line, because the GM said so.

    <COMMERCIAL>

    John Morrison vs Ted DiBiase with Maryse

    Maryse sits ringside and calls Cole out for calling her a gold digger.  I’m actually a little amused by her, especially that she answered the phone during the match, and just insults Cole.  It makes me laugh.  Anyway, she jacks Morrison’s jacket and distracts him so that Ted can get a cheap shot… or four?  DiBiase hits Dream Street for the win.

    Ted DiBiase wins by pinfall.

    Santino and Vladimir Kozlov make their way to the ring (“Italia and Russia together again! Like World War 2! Except this time, no Nazis.” – Santino Marealla), and later, John Cena and Wade Barrett are supposed to call a truce… yeah right.

    <COMMERCIAL>

    Slam of the Week: Vladimir Kozlov defeats Santino Marella and then beats up William Regal after Regal attacks Santino.

    Santino Marella and Vladimir Kozlov vs William Regal and The Great Khali

    Regal calls them oxygen thieves before the match even starts and makes me laugh.  Regal calls Khali a monster, which makes me roll my eyes… At any rate, Kozlov demolishes Regal, then tags Santino in, almost getting in trouble, Santino gets demolished by Regal, and Kozlov pins Regal.

    Vladimir Kozlov and Santino Marella win via pinfall.

    After the match, Khali climbs in the ring, and tells Santino and Vladimir to stand Regal up, and just knocks him in the head.  Khali and Santino, and Ranjin, dance, and Vladimir wonders where his days of glory went off to.

    Later on tonight, Edge brings Chris Jericho and Evan Bourne to The Cutting Edge, as well as information on Ricky “The Dragon” Steamboat and the other Legends after last week’s assault.

    <COMMERCIAL>

    Arn Anderson says that Ricky’s attack was serious.  Sheamus shows up and mocks Anderson, essentially, calling him a pathetic old man.  Anderson says that they have to get out of the way of their egos and work on Nexus, or the company, and their careers, are going to go up in flames.

    <COMMERCIAL>

    United States Champion The Miz vs R-Truth

    Miz come sout to Truth’s theme and is rapping, which made me die… It was hilarious.  Before the match even starts, he starts beating on Truth, while I’m still laughing my ass off…  Anyway, Miz just goes off on Truth’s arm.  The bell never officially rang, but for my ego’s sake…

    The United States Champion The Miz wins… by ass-kicking.

    <COMMERCIAL>

    The Cutting Edge: Money In the Bank Pay-Per-View Edition

    Edge makes his way to the ring, set up with ladders, and the Money in the Bank briefcase.  He says that he’s smarter than Randy and everyone else there.  Why make seven enemies, when he can make seven powerful allies?  They just need leadership, which he can provide.  He goes to call out Evan Bourne, but Jericho comes out instead.

    Jericho says he doesn’t take a back seat to anyone, and that Edge is shamelessly pandering to Nexus.  He was Wade Barrett’s pro, and that helped him win the season.  Chris told Barrett to make an impact, do something never done before.   Edge rubs the loss to Evan Bourne in, and Jericho rubs Edge’s loss at Wrestlemania in.   Edge starts to give Jericho a history lesson, but Edge just wants to be Jericho, according to Jericho.  Edge gets sick of Jericho and attacks him.  Jericho attacks back and puts Edge in the walls of Jericho, but Evan comes out and hits Jericho.  Then, he jumps over a Spear, ducks under both of them, and flips right out of hte ring.  Then the GM sends an email.

    The GM says if the audience want to see some action, give him a HELL YEAH.  So, they’re clearing the ring of The Cutting Edge stuff, and the following is going to take place.

    <COMMERCIAL>

    Edge and Chris Jericho vs Evan Bourne and Randy Orton

    Starts off with Orton and Bourne getting some really good momentum, and then Jericho turns it around right before the commercial break.  When we come back, Edge still has the momentum over Bourne, mostly thanks to Jericho beating Bourne during the break.  Randy almost had Jericho set up for the RKO, but Edge interfered and Jericho manage to hit the insigari.  Bourne gets tagged in, and Jericho starts to yell and berate Edge, so Edge spears him.  Bourne hits the Air Bourne for the win.

    Randy Orton and Evan Bourne win via pinfall.

    Afterward, Randy hits an RKO on Evan, and smirks toward the ramp.

    <COMMERCIAL>

    Randy walks backstage, and Nexus stops him.  Otunga says that nothing was against Randy, but the WWE Championship match at Fatal 4Way was just to make a statement.  They’re trying to apologize, and they won’t interfere in the Money in the Bank Ladder Match, but they can’t promise anything for the steel cage match.  Otunga says he wants Randy to think about hit next time Cena tries to recruit him.  Randy says he’s heard what they have to say, now get out of his face.

    During the previous commercial break, the GM emailed and said that the Hart Dynasty would defend their Unified Tag Team Championships against The Uso’s.  The Uso’s and Tamina tell Josh Matthews that this is the opportunity of the lifetime.  They say they’ll be the new Tag Team Champions, and next week, everyone will know what the Uso’s and Tamina are all about.  Alicia seems upset that she hasn’t been interviewed once since she became the Diva’s Champion.  She asks if it’s because she’s not important, or because he doesn’t care what she has to say, and the WWE Universe says that, yeah, she’s pretty much right.  Anyway, next is the Diva’s Championship match.

    <COMMERCIAL>

    Diva’s Champion Alicia Fox vs Eve Torres for the Diva’s Championship

    Pretty standard Diva’s match, with Alicia faking an ankle injury to get Eve off guard to retain.

    Diva’s Champion Alicia Fox retains via pinfall.

    <COMMERCIAL>

    The GM says that next week, Edge and Randy Orton will go one on one.

    Wade Barrett makes his way to the ring as we get back from the commercial break.  Wade says that he wants Cena to come out so they can shake hands like men.

    BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR RUBBER FOOD!!!!

    Cena comes out and starts checking for Nexus.  He gets in the ring, still looking for Nexus.  Wade says that Cena is not in Nexus’ future plans, regardless of what they’ve done.  Barrett wants to put everything in the past behind them so that they can move on.  The simple fact is that the Nexus Seven are going to be there for a long time and can make his life easy, or a lot harder than it has been.  The choice is Cena’s.

    Cena asks, if they shake hands, it stops?  No more looking over his shoulder?  Cena says that the anonymous GM wanted to do this truce, but Cena needs to know if Barrett does, and he needs Barrett’s word.  If they shake hands, this stops.   Cena holds his hand out, and Barrett goes to shake it, but Cena pulls his hand away and asks why stop when they’re having so much fun?!  Cena says take your truces, handshakes, future plans, blah blah blah, crumple them, and stuff them up your Nexus.  The future is that Cena takes down Nexus, whether he does it himself, has help, he gets to every single one of them.

    Barrett says that the fact that Cena is even capable of standing in the ring is a testament to, basically, how it isn’t about him.  Barrett is warning Cena: Shake his hand, or Cena will face some very, very severe consequences.  Cena grabs his hand, then starts to get him in an Attitude Adjustment.  The Nexus Seven come out, but then dso does Evan Bourne, John Morrison, Mark Henry, Khali, Goldust, Kozlov, Santino, the Hart Dynasty, Yoshi Tatsu… and I think that was all…  it got hard to tell.  Sorry.  Basically, Nexus is then shoved out of the ring, except Darren Young, who got bitch slapped by Mark Henry.

    The GM sends an email: I wanted peace, so if things don’t stop now, there will be consequences.  Cena puts Young in the STF.  The GM sends another email: Cena, because of your actions, you will now face all members of the Nexus next week in a seven-on-one handicapped match.  Cena then begins hammering away on Darren Young again.  Cena then throws the “steel” ring steps at Darren Young’s head, throws Young over the announce table, and then shoves the announce table over on Young.

    Next week, I guess we’ll see more of the Nexus.  Until then, seeya around.

  3. “Impact” Impressions 1/8/09 and “Genesis” Predictions

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    Yes, it’s late. Don’t pretend you’re disappointed.

    Find a line and cross it, peoples!

    Match #1: Alex Shelley defeats Eric Young: Be still, my heart! We actually open with a match, and a match that was the best of the night on paper, at that! This means it’s Alex Shelley versus Chris Sabin for the X-Division title at “Genesis,” which is proof that God exists, and wants us to be happy (thanks, Ben Franklin!). However, note the use of the words “on paper.” Why? This was the semi-finals match of the tournament to crown a new X-Division champion. After the Main Event Mafia/Front Line story, this should be the most important thing going. The announce team should be making this out to be a tremendously important thing. Video packages of past X-Division glory should air, along with each of the competitors talking about why the title is so important and how much they want to win it. None of this happened. A match of this magnitude went less than five minutes, and was nowhere near as good as it should have been. Shelley and Young did what they could, but there was no reason to rush this match. Back when this sort of thing mattered, and TNA had something going for it, there was a match between Christopher Daniels and Chris Sabin to determine the third man in a three-way Ultimate X match for the X-Division title at the pay-per-view that weekend. That match was given a full fifteen minutes, and the announcers made it sound like this one qualifying match was the most important thing in the company. I have yet to think of a good reason that the same treatment was not given to ANY of the X-Division tournament matches this time. Not one of the tournament matches went much over five minutes, and for what? The two-hour program featured what else, exactly? All the same, just watch TNA blame the X-Division and the guys in it for not getting over, not getting rating and buy rates, and so on. Grrrrrrrrrr!

    After the match ended, referee Shane Sewell was again attacked by Sheik Abdul Bashir, prompting an in-ring confrontation. Jim Cornette came out and fired Sewell as a referee, much to the dismay of the audience. Cornette then turned on the gloating Bashir, announcing that Sewell was fired for three days, and would be hired as a wrestler beginning Sunday at “Genesis,” where he would have a grudge match against Bashir.

    To the ring! Main Event Mafia promo time. They all talk. Why?

    To the back! Borash asks Jeff Jarrett and Mick Foley how they intend to survive the Main Event Mafia onslaught. Brother Devon and AJ Styles come in, and inform them that they have their backs. Nice moment when Devon gives Foley Brother Ray’s red flannel shirt and says that “he would want you to have this.”

    To the farm! No, really. Today’s embarrassingly untimely Sarah Palin skit has been brought to you by “The Simple Life.” Has anyone told the writers how long that show has been around?

    Match #2: Awesome Kong defeats Madison Rayne: The latest hottie debut and squash. As much as I like the term “Kongtourage,” it cheapens Kong by having a big group around her. She’s been so dominant that she’s proven that she doesn’t need them. If she has to have Raisha Saeed, so be it, but the others need to go, and find their own thing.

    To the back! Lauren interviews Abyss. It’s bad. It’s really bad. Please stop the pain. Abyss is upset because his best friend Matt Morgan is still mad at him. He thinks that Lauren is his girlfriend, and hopes that she isn’t mad at him too, because he just couldn’t take it. You know what, Abyss, neither can I.

    Tenay and West run down the card for “Genesis.”

    To the back! JB asks the Motor City Machine Guns whether they are concerned that the X-Division title match between them will cause problems in their friendship and their tag team. Chris Sabin went into sarcastic mode, informing JB that it was “an interesting, intriguing, insightful question.” Alex Shelley pointed out that the best things come in pairs, not the least of which was Mick Foley and poor hygiene. Shelley gets bonus points for referring to Foley as Duke “the Dumpster” Droese. Shelley goes on to say that the bond they share is unbreakable, and is bigger than JB, the X-Division title, or TNA. Foley steps in, and tells the Guns that he knows that they have the ability to steal the show, but they also have the ability to completely stink up the pay-per-view and ruin his show, which he literally cannot afford. If they blow off the match and try to lay down for one another, or anything else of that nature, Foley will give them one-way bus tickets back to Detroit, and they will never get another X-Division title shot again. Whoa, time out! Two things. Thing the first. While it’s totally true that having the Guns put over the X-Division title as something important that they both really want would have been helpful, TNA hasn’t made it look like it’s really worth having already. Thing the second. Why is Foley so mad? What has Alex Shelley or Chris Sabin ever said or done that would imply that they weren’t going to have an awesome match, or that they would deliberately pull something? All they ever said was that the two of them would be in the finals. If anything, two guys with the egos that they have been portrayed to have would go out of their way to show up the rest of the roster and prove how much better they are in the ring than everyone else. The point has been made for the past several weeks in these reviews that without promo or segment time being given to these subplots, things that happen like this seem random and disjointed. There’s really no excuse for it.

    “Rough Cuts” time! We get another endearing and babyface-ish segment for Beer Money. Honestly, if you’re turning them face, you have to do it on the actual show and in the ring, not just with these segments. It’s confusing to see this stuff, then watch the same guys wrestle a completely heel match immediately afterward.

    Match #3: Matt Morgan (with Abyss) defeats Robert Roode (with James Storm and Jacqueline): This match actually ended with ref stoppage. Morgan doesn’t seem to want Abyss around, and if he turns on Abyss, it may be hard to boo him. The match was stopped by the referee because of Robert Roode’s knee injury. Consequences Creed and Jay Lethal (still in full “Macho Man” mode) come out and watch, then announce that they will be cashing in their Feast or Fired tag team title shot right now. Did it ever get explained that cashing the title shots in at any time was allowed? I don’t recall ever hearing that part. I know that it worked for CM Punk, but cashing in a title shot when one of your opponents is practically incapacitated is a pretty heelish thing to do. Creed and Lethal don’t have much of a reason to do it.

    Match #4: Consequences Creed and Jay Lethal defeat Beer Money, Inc. for the Tag Team titles: The match itself wasn’t bad, but it was essentially a handicap match. It took Creed, Lethal, and hitting Storm with the briefcase for the new babyface champs to get the win. They really looked weak.

    To the back! The Front Line celebrates the tag team title win in the locker room. I wanted to be excited about it, but it was not clicking for me.

    Tenay and West run down the “Genesis” card again, announcing that the tag team title match is now a 3-way match due to the title change.

    To the back! BG James is an emotional mess as he tells Jeff Jarrett why he has to get in the ring with Kurt Angle. Some people thought it was ridiculously over the top, but I think it worked rather well.

    To the farm! More fake Palin. Damn my eyes!

    Match #5: Kurt Angle defeats BG James: The match wasn’t as bad as I had anticipated. Afterwards, the Main Event Mafia hits the ring and destroys BG James in a similar fashion as they did to Samoa Joe. Mick Foley and Jeff Jarrett run down, and the MEM bails. We go to commercial.

    When we return, Jarrett loses control and shouts about what he’s going to do to Angle on Sunday. Foley calms him down and speaks about being ashamed of his inaction in regard to the doings of the MEM. HE admits that he is older and slower and isn’t the man he used to be, but that he is the Hardcore Legend, and he’ll be drawing strength from Brother Devon and AJ Styles in their match. “I may not be as good as I once was, but for one night I will be as good as I ever was!” Great line. A video package running down the “Genesis” card closes the show. I have promoted high school plays that I directed better than TNA promotes their pay-per-views.

     

    “Genesis” Predictions

    Rhino vs. Sting (World Heavyweight Championship): Sting retains. Is there really any doubt?

    Jeff Jarrett vs. Kurt Angle: This could go either way, but if Angle wins, the story is over. I don’t think they’re done yet, so I pick Jarrett to win.

    Mick Foley, AJ Styles & Brother Devon vs. Booker T, Kevin Nash and Scott Steiner: If Angle loses, the MEM wins here. Foley will probably be taking the pin, or possibly even turning on his team here and costing them the match. After all, we wouldn’t be expecting it after his strong ending promo on “Impact,” now, would we?

    Beer Money vs. Abyss & Matt Morgan vs. Jay Lethal & Consequences Creed (Tag Team Championship): Lethal and Creed retain. I don’t want it to happen, but it probably will. The new champs have to retain, or the entire Feast or Fired deal is wasted. Granted, most people hate it anyway, but if TNA is going to keep doing it, they have to make it matter. There’s also the built-in tag team title feud between Lethal and the Guns stemming from the Feast or Fired match, if we can ever get to that point.   

    Chris Sabin vs. Alex Shelley (X-Division Championship finals): Alex Shelley wins. As much as I would love for the future Mr. Drowgoddess to have a title belt, Shelley has been the one at the forefront, and his having the belt will allow the Shelley/Foley friction to escalate. Also, the Guns were not booked to go on the European tour that’s coming up, and Alex Shelley by himself was added to be on it just recently. I think that means that the X-Division champion has to be included on the tour. It should easily be the match of the night, and I just pray to every form of divinity ever devised by the minds of men that this match doesn’t signal the break-up of the tag team. If it does, the whole universe is going to die. (Anyone seen that video?)

    ? vs. Awesome Kong (Knockout Championship – Lumberjack Match): If it’s true that Christy Hemme won’t be in the match due to a neck injury, and won’t be showing up during the match to get involved, interesting possibilities are raised. If Gail Kim hadn’t signed with WWE, this would be the best surprise ever for her to return unannounced and face Kong for the title. I hope they didn’t introduce Madison Rayne on “Impact” just to put her in the title match at the pay-per-view with no build-up. Roxxi or ODB would be good, but they’ve been beaten by Kong to many times. Angelina Love would be good, but she’s a heel and otherwise occupied with stupid skits. Please don’t let it be Taylor Wilde. In any case, Kong retains unless it’s someone truly exceptional.   

    Shane Sewell vs. Sheik Abdul Bashir (Grudge Match): Sewell to win. He’s endured to much from Bashir with too little payback, and if he does win, Bashir can whine and threaten and make excuses.  

    Check back on Monday or Tuesday for a review of “Genesis.” Yes, I’m getting it. Like you had to ask.

    Peace out,

    Drowgoddess

  4. SmackDown in real-time, 8/22/08

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    It’s Friday Night, you guys know what’s up!  Much like last week, this week’s SmackDown in real-time is brought to you by the BoredWrestlingFan skipping a free concert – this week it’s Joan Jett.  Anyways, quick results up here, detailed results after the jump, as per usual!

    Vickie Guerrero announces that SmackDown will also have a Championship Scramble match at Unforgiven.

    Maria def. Natalya via disqualification when Maryse interfered

    Big Show finds out he’s been overlooked as far as the Championship Scramble is concerned

    The Brian Kendrick wins a 10 man battle royal to qualify for the Championship Scramble – thanks to The Big Show.

    MVP def. Festus via countout to qualify for the Championship Scramble.

    Shelton Benjamin def. Finlay to qualify for the Championship Scramble.

    Jeff Hardy def. The Great Khali to qualify for the Championship Scramble.

    Detailed results after the jump. (more…)