Tag Archive: Greatest Man

  1. RYTMAN: IMPACT IMPRESSIONS – 06/06/2013

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    Felt like doing something for the site’s fifth anniversary, and since no-one else seems to be covering Impact, I thought I’d give it a try.

    This will be more of a review than a recap of the whole show, as I’m sure the BWF anniversary show will be packed.  So I will keep it brief.

    First off, let’s look at the wrestling.  Our first match was Chavo Gurrero vs. Hernandez.  It looked like the first five minutes of what could’ve been a decent 15 minute match – minus the last ten minutes.  Hernandez wins after Chavo tried a sunset flip, and Hernandez rolled out and hooked his legs for a press.  Over way too quick to make any kind of lasting impression, and I think Hernandez might’ve botched the finish slightly, as it took him a few seconds to hook Chavo.

    Our second match of the night was Samoa Joe PRISON RAPING Robbie E.  Robbie got in an eye gouge and a few shots to the head and that was it.  Joe never let up for a second, and got the win w/his cradle-neckbreaker combo.  It was the kind of straight up squash we haven’t seen since the days of the original WWF Saturday morning syndicated programs.

    We had a six-man tag between newly crowned Tag Team Champions Gunner and “Cowboy” James Gunn w/new X-Division Champion Chris Sabin against former tag champs “The IT Factor” Bobby Rude and “The Greatest Man who Ever Lived,” Austin Aries w/former X-Division Champ Kenny King.  Not a lot of double teaming in this match, just paring off of two men from each team every few seconds.  The match breaks down into a spot-fest ending w/Sabin getting the pin on Kenny King.  Not a bad match in any way, shape or form, but nothing I haven’t seen before either.

    TNA Knockouts Champ Mickey James took on Taler Hendrix in a knockouts match.  James spent the first half of the match selling Hendrix big, and applauding for her every time she hit a move with a less than sincere smile.  James wraps this up by selling an arm injury and hiding behind referee ODB, then hitting an uppercut on Hendrix when she gets too close.  James gets the three with an unconvincing spin-kick to the shoulder.  I might become a Taler Hendrix fan, but not because of this match.

    And now, our main event of the evening; Champion Bully Ray faces Jeff Hardy in a ladder match!  However the title is not on the line, so instead, a hammer will be the prize hung from the roof.  Whoever gets to it first gets to use it as a weapon. 

    The match was a botchy, clumsy affair, with some scary spots, like Ray just yanking the ladder out from Hardy, who went straight down hard, and landed ugly.  Ray gets the hammer but takes a “twist-of-fate” stunner.  The hammer goes flying right into Jeff’s hand.  Ray runs away and Jeff collapses trying to chase him.  A ref helps Jeff to the back and we get NO DECISION MADE ON THE MATCH!

    Now let’s look at some other aspects of the show.

    First off, the show’s major storyline was the Hogan, Brooke, Bully angle.  The show opened with Bully bragging about his win over Sting at Slamerversary, and demanding to be put in the TNA Hall of Fame.  General Manager Hulk Hogan came out to “give the Devil his due,” and congratulate Ray on winning with nothing but the help of the entire “Aces & Eight’s” stable, and a hammer.  Hogan announces the “Bound for Glory” series will start this month, and he brings out Jeff Hardy.  Hogan books the ladder match right then/there, with Hardy getting NO mike time and NO dialogue.  Hardy does get to pull the hammer out of his pants, and Hogan did mention this would be Hardy’s chance at payback for things that happened to him earlier. 

    We get a backstage segment where Bully is talking to another A&E member I don’t know over a few dozen beers.  He wonders why Hogan would put the beloved Jeff Hardy in a match this dangerous, and why A&E doesn’t have a rep in the BFG series.  The other guy hints at wanting to be “Vice President” of the group, and Ray walks off.

    After the match, Bully runs backstage to breath heavily, yell for his belt, and plop his ass down on the ground.  Hogan sneaks up behind Ray with a hammer in his hand.  He raises it over the unsuspecting champ.  Brooke Hogan screams “NO” and runs into frame.  Brooke is between her father and her husband.  Hogan stares at Brooke, Brooke stares at Ray, and Ray stares at both of them, then runs off.  So basically, Hogan was ready to STRAIGHT-UP MURDER HIS COMPANY’S CHAMPION ON NATIONAL TV, and his daughter had to stop him. 

    Another major storyline was Devon trying to get his belt back.  Devon comes out demanding Abyss return the TV title that he won at Slamerversary.  Joseph Park comes out instead, saying he won’t be bullied anymore, and taking Devon down.  Joseph wails away on Devon, but when the fight spills outside, Devon gets the upper hand and beats Park into a bloody mess.  Abyss’ music hits, and Devon jumps back in the ring, ready to face him.  When Abyss doesn’t come out, Devon decides to go look for him.  Devon spends the whole show checking for Abyss backstage w/another A&E member I don’t know.  Eventually Abyss catches up with them and leaves them both laid out, saying he’s taking the title into the Abyss.

    Ummm… Isn’t Joseph Park supposed to be Abyss?  I thought it was a “split personality” gimmick.  Is everyone supposed to go along with the idea of them being two people?

    Side Note: To my knowledge, this is the most success anyone in TNA has had against “Aces & Eights.”

    Former MMA star and failed Mr. T impersonator “Rampage” Jackson made his TNA debut tonight.  He came out to the ring saying he wanted to face the best in TNA.  Kurt Angle came out to accommodate him.  This ended with some heated words, but without incident.

    So we’re setting up an untrained rookie to fight a guy in his 40’s with a history of neck injuries?

    WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG?

    Mickey James is working Eve Torres’ old “two-face” gimmick.  We had a segment of her apologizing to Velvet Sky for standing around like a deer in headlights when Gail Kim jumped her last week, and totally blowing off her challenge for a title match.  She did work in a plug for the Lottery game that has her and Gail Kim as “mascots,” so that was nice.

    This specific episode should thank its lucky stars that the past ten years of Impact have sucked so badly, because they make this episode look so much better by comparison.  Compared to a good wrestling show however, it’s still lacking.  The show wound up being all about the Hogan-Brooke-Bully Ray triangle while the few people I might’ve cared about were regulated to filler matches.  I’ll give the show a C minus because it at least kept the pace moving along, and most of the stuff on the show did actually lead somewhere, but so far I am NOT impressed.

  2. IMPACT Wrestling BaseBrawl – June 22, 2012 – Buffalo, NY

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    Last year, TNA Wrestling launched a series of summer live events at baseball stadiums, and called it the BaseBrawl. A great thing about these events is that if you buy lawn/floor/ringside seats, whatever you want to call them, you also get a meet and greet with a majority of the stars on the roster. You can also buy an elite package, which will get you a limited edition baseball bat and a personal meeting with the event’s major star. Last year in Buffalo, that was Hulk Hogan, this year, Jeff Hardy. But, enough shilling the event.

    and the pretty decent view I had from my seat!

    Jeremy Borash handles the ring announcing duties for the evening, and up first is an X-Division match!

    Zema Ion vs. Austin Aries

    Ion really loves that hairspray, doesn’t he? These are two guys you want to have open your show and get the crowd going. And the crowd got going with chants of “Carlito” and “You’re not cool” directed at Zema Ion. Poor guy has no traits in common with Carly Colon other than the afro and the orange pants, and he’s got to hear this every night. The Buffalo faithful were solidly behind The Greatest Man Who Ever Lived, who picked up the victory with a brainbuster. After the match, JB gave a backstage pass to somebody who brought a sign in support of Aries.

    Winner:  Austin Aries

    JB gives a big introduction to the most controversial referee in the history of professional wrestling, Earl Hebner, who, for some reason, comes out to “Man In The Box” by Alice In Chains, which is of course Tommy Dreamer’s old theme song. The Buffalo faithful get on Hebner’s case, chanting “You Screwed Bret.” JB holds Earl back as he looks to go after a few of them – but then he takes off his referee polo to reveal a t-shirt that says “Damn Right I Did!” Earl’s here to referee a Knockout’s Title match. Yes, that’s the same spot they did last year.

    TNA Knockout’s Championship: Miss Tessmacher (c) vs. Gail Kim

    Kim works over Tessmacher’s leg through the whole match, but Tessmacher manages to pick up the win with a neckbreaker out of nowhere to retain her title. Great match!

    Winner & STILL Knockouts Champion, Miss Tessmacher

    We’re told that the Spike TV cameras are rolling and that highlights of the following match will be seen next Thursday on Impact, as it’s a part of the Bound For Glory series! Mr. Anderson is introduced first, and he calls for his microphone to be lowered – in a roofless stadium. JB climbs up onto a chair and hands him a microphone, and he does his “asshole” schtick. He begins his introduction, but somebody yells out “Kennedy,” to which he replies, “oh no. No, that guy died in a train wreck. And you can still watch that train wreck every Monday night!” Burn! Anderson’s opponent is Samoa Joe, who is wearing his Nation of Violence gear again for some reason. Did I miss something?

    Bound For Glory Series: Mr. Anderson vs. Samoa Joe

    The crowd started off very quiet for this one. I think it’s because they weren’t really sure who they wanted to root for. Eventually, they decided on rooting for Joe. This was another match, really worth the price of admission. All the usual spots are there, and in the end, it’s Joe with the Muscle Buster for the victory, and seven points in the BFG Series!

    Winner:  Samoa Joe (earns 7 points in the Bound For Glory Series)

    And our next match is for the TNA Tag Team Championship! The former champions, Kazarian and Daniels come out first, and they cut a promo badmouthing Buffalo, with Kazarian saying that we don’t have a big league baseball team because there’s nothing big league about this town. Daniels is less harsh. He says that the fans are disappointments to their mothers, but the biggest disappointment is that Kurt Angle and AJ Styles are walking around with their tag team titles. Angle and Styles get their entrances, and we get our tag team title match.

    TNA Tag Team Championship: Kurt Angle & AJ Styles (c) vs. Kazarian & Daniels

    These are four of the best wrestlers in the entire industry, so you can imagine that they put on a great match. The crowd was mostly behind Angle & Styles, though a small “Angle Sucks” chant broke out in a very localized cluster in the stands. Styles picked up the win for the tag champs with a Styles Clash.

    Winners & STILL TNA Tag Team Champions:  AJ Styles & Kurt Angle

    Intermission.

    I didn’t catch the name of the guy pitching the merch this year, but he was good. Don West may be gone, but the Brown Bag Special remains. This year’s bag costs $30, but in the bag you get FOUR TNA DVDs and an Impact Wrestling t-shirt, which is where the bag used to stop, but this year they added in a random TNA action figure and a TNA 10th Anniversary program. Yes, that’s about $120 worth of stuff for $30. My wife surprised me and came back from a bathroom break with one – which she didn’t have to do, because I would have bought it myself. The pitchman mentioned a fan wearing a Triple H t-shirt, and told him he should buy a Brown Bag Special so he could get the Impact Wrestling shirt and “cover that hideous thing up.” Love the friendly little jabs at the competition tonight.

    We return to action with another match in the Bound For Glory Series. Robbie E is introduced first, and enters to a chorus of “We Want Ryder” chants. James Storm makes his way out, and Robbie E grabs the microphone. He says that all the people in Buffalo came to watch him fist pump. For some reason, a “YES!” chant breaks out during this promo. Robbie E starts to dance and fist pump in the ring and offers Storm a chance to do the same. Storm says he doesn’t fist pump, he drinks beer. He makes a few jokes about Robbie’s pink ring gear and the fist printed on the ass of his tights. Robbie says he can chug beer. Storm challenges him to do so. Robbie starts sipping the beer, and Storm hits him with the Last Call. The bell rings.

    Bound for Glory Series: “Cowboy” James Storm vs. Robbie E

    Storm covers Robbie and pins him while sipping a beer. Seven points for The Cowboy!

    Winner:  James Storm (earns 7 points in the Bound For Glory Series)

    It’s time for the main event of the evening, a match for the TNA World Heavyweight Championship. My wife screams her heart out as the challenger, Jeff Hardy, makes his way to the ring and poses for the crowd. The TNA Champion, Bobby Roode is introduced to a chorus of boos. Roode demands the proper respect to be shown to him, or he will leave and go back to Canada. Some fans bow down to the Champion, some point to the thruway just outside of the stadium that leads directly into Canada.

    TNA World Championship: Bobby Roode (c) vs. Jeff Hardy

    The fans are solidly behind Hardy in this one, and with good reason – Roode plays the cowardly heel to a T. “It factor?” Yeah, I’d say so. The crowd was definitely into this one, mostly chanting “Let’s Go Hardy.” At one point during the match, Roode and referee Brian Hebner got into a bit of a shoving match, which prompted a “Let’s Go Brian” chant. Speaking of, Hebner got knocked down, and Gunner ran in to attack Hardy, catching a Whisper In The Wind for his troubles, but Roode nailed Hardy with a low blow and picked up the pinfall victory to retain his title.

    Winner & STILL TNA World Heavyweight Champion:  Bobby Roode

    Hardy hit Roode with a Twist of Fate to end the show.

    One of the cool things that TNA does, is after the show they allow fans to have a photo opportunity in the ring with one or more members of the TNA roster for a small price. Tonight it was Jeff Hardy, my wife’s favorite wrestler since she was a kid. The way this works is that you pay $20, and everybody that is with you can get in the ring and get their photo taken at the same time with Hardy. We couldn’t pass this up. They try to rush everybody through, and the line definitely moves very quickly, but Jeff was very cordial, taking a moment to give my wife a hug and shake my hand. When you get out of the ring, they have the photo waiting for you.

    here’s mine!

    We poke fun at TNA sometimes for inconsistent television here on BoredWrestlingFan from time to time, but one thing I cannot deny is that the live events are consistently entertaining. The two that I’ve been to have been some of the best live wrestling experiences I’ve had – and I’ve been to three WrestleManias. If the company brings a live event to your area, I definitely recommend checking it out – and bringing some extra dough to participate in some of the extracurricular stuff they have going on. Definitely worth it!

  3. Pnt-noir Impact Wrestling Review- Kurt Angle Makes a List

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    Where are on the road to Lockdown, and what better way to start that off then with a list by Kurt Angle explaining why he hates Jeff Hardy?!

    Kurt comes out and proceeds to read off some notecards all the reasons why he hates Hardy:

    1. Hardy has long hair which he dyes different colors, Kurt Angle has none.

    2. Kurt Angle comes to autograph signings on time but when Hardy shows up late all the people in his line walk away to get an autograph from Hardy

    3. Kurt has many action figures and posters, but when he goes to kiss his boy goodnight all he sees is Hardy posters and toys in his room, and his son also has the audacity to dress like Hardy too.

    What confuses me about this make believe heel list from Angle is that with Kurt’s background as an all american Olympic good medalist wouldn’t the list he gave be only one line long “Jeff Hardy is a drug addict, and self destructive personality who is a bad influence on my son.” There he would have saved impact fans five minutes.

    It's True, It's True

    After reading his list he calls out Hardy, Jeff comes out looking annoyed like someone gave him the wrong order at a restaurant before entering the ring.  Angle tells Jeff that he wants to wrestle at Victory Road, Hardy thinks about it and slaps the Gold Medalist.  After the aforementioned bitch slap from Hardy the usual brawl insued followed by Simon Diamond, Al Snow and referees coming to ring to break it up. Jeff calls on his “Creatures of the Night” before accepting Kurt’s challenge.

    Roode shoots a promo in the back about Sting booking himself in the main event of Victory Road. And as he rants in the background we see The Greatest Man Alive, Austin Aries walk up. He concurs with Bobby telling him about his twitter comments. They decide to take a walk.

    Madison Rayne (ugh) and Gail Kim have a conversation while Rayne is hanging posters of Gail Kim. Gail wants to make up and she does this by signing Madison in a match with ODB, because that is what a good and caring friend does.

    We have a Gauntlet Match between Kazarian Daniels and AJ Styles, where if and when AJ wins he wants to know the secret that Daniels has over his head. So by stipulating this TNA is basically saying “You probably won’t know to Victory Road, or the latest Lockdown, or wait the Impact after Lockdown because ratings are more important then PPV buys.” AJ and Daniels start off the Gauntlet Match (and for those that don’t know a Gauntlet match is where a competitor faces one opponent and after he wins takes on the next until he clears both or loses to one or the other.) They have another good match filled with reversals and cool moves that have highlighted their respective matches in the past. That is until Kaz comes in and performs Fade to Black on AJ basically DQ’ing Daniels. Before covering him for the three. Kaz is to his breaking point and not even The Fallen Angel can keep him chained.

    Madison Rayne takes on ODB w/Eric this is what you expect from Rayne she takes a beating and keeps entertaining the crowd by making the face ODB look more over. Gail comes to ringside with belts in hand as I guess moral/heel support. Madison goes for her finish ODB reverses and goes for the Ba boom? Eric Young distracts the ref with his foolishness, Gail attempts to hand Madison a belt to cheat with but slips on the apron. ODB hits her move and pins Rayne for the three. Afterwards Rayne who is annoyed asks what happened as Gail apologizes.

    We have replay from Bully Ray’s failed attempt at beating up Brandon Jacobs. We then are treated to another Bully Ray makes fun of the geek girl before telling her to call him. A double and Bobby walked up and try to convince Ray that James Storm isn’t the cause of his embarassment but Sting, who because he’s the authority figure.

    Garrett Bischoff is cornered by Father, Gunner and Flair who gives his usual I’m old and senile speech that kind of sounds coherent if living on Shutter Island is your idea of normal. Garrett holds up all stoic as the heels look on in disgust. Because nepotism is nausea inducing.

    Velvet Sky has had enough and she wants her title shot. She retells the events of two weeks ago when Rayne threw her over the ropes becoming the #1 contender. Well if you whine long enough the heels will come. Sarita and Angelina?! mock Velvet before a fight breaks out. Or more like a beat down. But the flower child is coming to the rescue Mickie James who I assume is wearing a workout outfit but looks more colorful then a Puerto Rican float decides to team up for revenge on the heels later in a tag match.

    Roode, Aries and Ray come down to the ring to pout. All three after a long winded recap say their done. This of course prompts Steve to appear and question each man about abducating their respective title and paycheck. Eventually Steve sets up a six man tag main event. Ray, Aries and Roode versus Storm, Magnus and Joe.

    More updates on Jesse Sorenson with a video package with his mother about how he hopes to fight and be back in the ring soon. Now I think we’re at the point where this whole reality distortion field is being set up with Sorenson his mother and Zema Ion.

    Speaking of Ion he cuts an interview with Wonder Years, showing no remorse for the crippling and makes a comment about how he would break the interviewers neck for a bigger profile in TNA.

    X-Division Match: Zema Ion vs Shannon Moore, it is essentially a match to set up how much of a solid heel Ion is against homeless Moore. With Ink Inc. why is Shannon still there? Zema puts on a good match that results in some good spots from both men. It comes to a close when Ion hits his chin to knee buster on Moore for the pin. Ending the segment shadowing wearing the belt.

    Knockout Tag Match: The new team of Angelina and Sarita is being toted around as a new thing. I guess with Russo gone we no longer have lesbian vampires. Mickie comes out introducing Velvet with mock pigeon flapping. As we get down to business. During the match we have Mike Tenay for some reason segway to TMZ who I assume is affliated with Spike or Viacom for that matter, talking about the feud between Madonna and Joe Francis, of Girls Gone Wild infamy. Along with Lindsay Lohan hosting SNL. You know because commenting on the Knockout match is just not his job. We’ll eventually the announce team gets back on the ball, actually calling the match. This match makes me want a Sarita vs Mickie match which I won’t get but whatev’s. In the end Mickie lou thesz’s Sarita and they roll out of the ring. Velvet ducks a botex injection from Angelina and hits her faceplant to get the cover. The women celebrate as Mickie makes the pigeon wave again. Sidenote: Why is Mickie promoting masturbation? Just a thought.

    The search for Abyss has started. 2 months to late. but hey its TNA not Missing Persons. Abyss’s family sent a letter to the company asking for where he was. They replay Genesis and his after match beat down from Ray. Get out the milk cartons because Detectives Tenay and Taz are on the case.

    Main event time as all six men get to the ring.

    This is a good match up between a different but familiar mix of competitors. Again we have the commentators getting distracted with Taz wondering about the knockouts as Tenay hypocritcally asks Taz to focus. Joe is cornered and taking a beating until he tags in James storm who goes to work. Eventual it conscends into Storm hitting the last call on Roode and getting the pin. Storm celebrates. Until Bully Ray hits Magnus and then Storm with a chair declaring himself the #1 contender,

    Impact fades to black.