Smackdown 5/3/13
3 CommentsAs I’m running a late today, no intro hooplah, jibbah jabbah, preambling. There shall be hopping however, and that’s your cue.
As I’m running a late today, no intro hooplah, jibbah jabbah, preambling. There shall be hopping however, and that’s your cue.
YAY!!!
Stuff goes here. Hopping time!
On RAW, the crowd made the difference for the show to be a winner, ultimately, which I suspect and hope will remain a tradition as the so-called “hardcore” smarks stick around for it. Will that many of them stick around for Smackdown? I’d like to think so… but this “thing” is still a new “thing.” Only one way to find out, and you know what that means. Into the back of the closet and into Narnia, kiddo, we’re hunting wabbits. Hopping time! (a.k.a. Beer will make this better).
The customary hand wave after a goal is scored.
This is it! BoredWrestlingFan’s WrestleMania week is in full swing, which kicked off with the WrestleMania 29 prediction podcast. My contribution to WrestleMania week this year will be reviews of the first six WrestleMania events, which started Monday with 1985′s WrestleMania, and ends today with a review of WrestleMania VI. And don’t forget to tune in to BoredWrestlingFan Radio this Sunday at 2PM Eastern as I will be reporting LIVE from Met Life Stadium in East Rutherford, NJ, the site of WrestleMania XXIX!
I don’t remember a damned thing about this show, other than the Hogan/Warrior main event. Considering how much I remembered about WrestleMania V, and that I thought the show sucked when I reviewed it yesterday, my expectations are low going in. Well, let’s roll.
The only new content on this show was taped around RAW this week, and the rest will likely be all hype, zombie attacks and video packages towards Mania. Hence, this review should be really short. Probably like one jump. Not even hopping, just hop. Now get to it and click that hyperlink below…
That’s what it’s called.
OH NO! THE ROYAL RUMBLE WAS PREDICTABLE!!?!? THE FUCK?!?!? IT’S ALMOST AS IF THE WWE HAS BEEN BUILDING UP STORIES FOR OVER A YEAR?!?!?!? Seriously, if you can’t accept the outcome, I have to call you out as not having watched wrestling during the Hogan/Macho Man Rock and Roll Wrestling era of the WWF. Just because the IWC is up in arms and joining in the Culture of Outrage, doesn’t mean shit to the WWE. Most of you steal their PPV’s anyways. They are trying to tell a long story, and most of you shit on them for fast-tracking their story-telling. And then you get off on whining about it being predictable? WTF? Think about how awesome The Lord of the Rings would have been if Frodo failed? OF COURSE HE TAKES THE RING TO MORDOR AND DESTROYS IT. Fuck. And many of these are the same people who complain about Vince Russo swerving the story all the time. GET OVER IT.
I enjoyed the 2013 Royal Rumble. With that rant out of the way, let’s see what the “E” serves up for Smackdown this week. Now this is generally a show you can take a massive dump on… but perhaps not tonight? Only one way to find out. Go Go Gadget Hopping Shoes!
Who gets buried… tonight?
This week TNA goes SOA on us and for those not in the patch club should know that i talk of Sons of Anarchy:
Aces and 8’s ride up on thier hogs and infiltrate the arena. And on Open Fight Night to take on Sting. And his friends. All this and James Storm after last week has been cleared of all the suspicision after taking a beating from the group last week.
After renaming the show Ass-whooping Show, the show began. Oh and they mention that Hogan is pissed and in the building.
Two members of the group show up and are let into the ring only to walk into a gang style initiation by the TNA roster. After taking a beating one member smiling through his blood pack tells them “:Thank You” and he was just patched in due to this. Sting hits him again.
So Ms Tessmacher calls out Tara so she can beat her teacher and prove herself. I should of been impressed but it was short and sloppy and I smell a tessmacher heel turn in the works, after Tara beats her with a superplex from the top. Oh and Tif–Taryn Terrell was there to officate.
The Camera Crew reshow The Pope getting beat down and show his twitter shoulder injury. Which sets up a triple threat match between AJ, Robbie and RVD since these are the men Pope was supposed to face. But first we have to get that pesky paternity situation out the way with AJ and Claire.
Why is it out of order? Because I’m just happy that the story is finally over and we can move on. Claire is not present according to Daniels because she ruptured a placenta and AJ should be ashamed of himself for being a “Bastard” All this before a female attorney comes out and reveals this whole sorted affair of Daniels and Kazarian approached Lynch back in January and hatched the whole plan of getting AJ Drunk and spiking his drink and taking pics. But she isn’t even pregnant and wants the local authorities contacted and apologizes for the whole scheme. AJ goes off and kicks Daniels in the head and misses Kaz to proudly announce he is not the father.
Moving on….
He we have the perpetual Jobber taking on two formidable opponent and Robbie E manages to pin RVD for the seven points. Maybe Hardy wasn’t a fluke.
Short, bad and he better not get a yes. I swear to God that he had a good story. But once in the ring he sucked worse than a jamacian bobsled team. Lets just hope that even though Gut check winners only go to developmental he should be passed on.
Oh Gunner won by the way. I guess this beats wrestling Garett Bischoff.
Not by much though.
Jeff Hardy gets revenge on Rob Terry in short fashion and we move on to..
Mr Anderson vs Bully Ray.
Good Match between two charismatic guys that end when Anderson hits the mic check for the win. While this is going on Aces and 8’s are being fought backstage and when we think its done they call out in 3:30 they will unleash the Deadman’s hand. Sting and the TNA locker room come out in full force to face them. Aces and 8’s come through the crowd in vast numbers attacking the wrestlers. Aries gets his hand smashed between two chairs and when the original six stand tall in the ring Bully Ray of all people come out and clean house as Aces head back on thier bikes and high tail out of the arena.
Good show that kept the pace quick and thankfully ended the Lynch saga. Here’s to the next month before Bound For Glory.
-PNTnoir_ out
NXT has been relaunched, albeit not on television in the US. But I’m Canadian, so why should I care? I’m like Bret Hart, after all, a Calgarian… a heel in the States and a face EVERYWHERE else. But this isn’t about me, it’s about this new version of NXT, after all. I’m not even supposed to be here today, so let’s hop to it… shall we?
Love it! It’s a reboot!
That’s right folks, we’re back at it again, as Joe and G discuss this week’s pro wrestling programming, this week’s wrestling news with JT (via voicemail), and our rundown of the WWE No Way Out card!
Don’t forget, folks, you too can leave us a voicemail by dialing 716-HOGAN-97 (716-464-2697)! We’ll pick the best ones and air them on the show!
We open the show on a Ultimate X match Aries vs Sabin vs Ion, sitting at home watching Chris Sabin back in his element was a welcome reprieve that was until Sabin tore is other ACL putting him back on the shelf. Aries retains with Hogan coming out to praise Aries before telling him that he would have to vacate the title to have a match against Bobby Roode at Destination X.
Bye Bye X division.
The push of Hernandez continues with a match against the television champion Devon. Its short and Hernandez really only botched one spot before being put down by Devon. Keep the belts away from Hernandez, Robbie E etc.
The bound for glory series featured the return our yours and my Pope D’angelo Dinero makes his return.
Pope be pimpin’ yes indeed.
And then James Storm came in and cleaned house and won. First Crimson and now 20 points in the BFG series. Go Cowboy!
New Knockout Champion Gail Kim Ms Tessmacher took on Madison “In love with who?” Rayne. I hear crickets but I digress. She (being Tessmacher) wins. This is where we need some more knockouts to make the surroundings look better, I’ve seen Madison Rayne too much.
[This post used to contain a picture of a topless Madison Rayne, her breasts covered only by her hands. Google made us take it down to comply with AdSense policy. Do they have ANY idea what kind of content their ads are on with the BoredWrestlingFan Radio podcast?]
Sunday Night saw the victoy of the “Asshole’ Ken Anderson over Hardy and RVD. I waited to see where this story would go since Hardy and RVD had storylines with Roode where as Anderson had a one off match from a couple of months ago.
This was a good match where Roode went over Anderson using the crossface and could possibly set up a any number of scenarios for Anderson afterwards. Or with Anderson tapping out will just close a door on that stretch for Roode who has been dealing with Hardy, RVD and Anderson for some time now and leave him clear for Austin Aries to feud with him over the remaining summer until Storm gets to him.
Questions I have are what will become of the X-division once Aries leaves? No Sabin, Sorenson or Nese. But we have Xema Ion and Mark Haskins? Need some new blood.
Until next week, PNTNR out!!!!