Tag Archive: Hogan

  1. Raw Is Vacant 10-10-2011

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    Well, words escaped the end of last week’s Raw. That was one of the most surreal Raws I ever saw. Now it’s time to see how the WWE follows it up. The announcer’s seats are empty. We get a nice perspective of the back area. And we get to start with Triple H. Surprise. And after HHH’s entrance, there’s only 15 minutes left of Raw, so no worries there. The superstars are outside and waiting for HHH to step down. Then he panders worse than Hogan’s cup to the ear thing. And just when you thought it couldn’t get any worse, the Confederate Warrior himself John Cena comes to the ring. We get serious John Cena. He didn’t sound so scripted. And then comes out my Pasty White Hero, Sheamus. He’s still with HHH. Then Punk comes out. He’s still with HHH. He makes a match. Cena vs. Sheamus with Punk on commentary and HHH as ref.

    Commercial break. I have been without caffeine for 2 days. Any more Red Robin commercials, I will need to be held down.

    After the commercial Vince McMahon comes out. Everyone’s heart sunk. Vince likes watching Raw at home. Board of Directors met about this situation. HHH is no longer running Raw. The new person running Raw is Super Dave Osborne. If I was not doing this review, I would be watching 2 Broke Girls on DVR.

    Brian Wilson is on my tv. All of a sudden, Super Dave Osborne isn’t so bad.

    Now all the wrestlers are coming back in. John Morrison tells Johnny Ace he sucks. Then he continues his burial tour against Christian. My wife notices Morrison has shaved his face. She acted like I did when Nelson Cruz hit his grand slam. Morrison was squashed. Then Ziggler, Swagger & Rhodes take out Morrison.

    Then HHH threatens Super Dave.

    Then Randy Orton and Mark Henry had a match. Cody Rhodes interferes. DQ. Mark Henry beats him up a few times. Randy Orton is ridiculously stale.

    We had Kelly Kelly & Eve vs. Rosa & Tamina. We’ve still got psycho angry Kelly. Eve pins Tamina. Poor Tamina. Super Dave asks JR to come into the ring. Really? At this point in his career, what are you going to do to JR they haven’t already done? Super Dave is so awful on the mic. He just sounds like he’s reciting a script. He fired JR.

    We get Matista & AirBoom vs. Swagger, Ziggler & Otunga. This is the best match of the night so far by default. The highlight was the powerbomb Jack Swagger did on Evan Bourne. I have nothing against Matista/Mason Ryan. He just looks like he couldn’t pass a piss test.

    John Cena’s movie looks awful. And I like Ethan Embry.

    Punk and Del Rio were fighting until Super Dave stopped it and reinstated Awesome Truth. I stopped caring during this match. I was impressed by what I saw from ADR. The work in this match was really good. I just felt like I was watching House-no show is ever new; I just watch out of habit. Miz/Truth were disqualified and then HHH came to Punk’s rescue.

    This is without a doubt the worst Raw I have seen in a long time. This is just as bad as Katie Vick era or the night the nWo started demolishing the Nitro set. The first 15 minutes were brilliant and then it was just like a fart in church from there. They most likely killed drawing in Oklahoma and I would be surprised to see their ratings higher than 2.5. Not saying all hope is lost. But something needs to change.

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  2. Impact Wrestling Review August 25, 2011

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    It starts with Kurt Angle calling out Crimson who is now wearing a knee brace. Angle compliments Crimson for his courage for standing up for him but then insults him. Promises to end his career. Heel turns always make sense in TNA.  Yeah the jobber squad oh I mean Immortal come out for the weekly promo. Bully Ray proceeds to <suck> Kurt Angle’s ego with his accomplishments. Kurt tells them no interference on the part of Immortal and especially from Jeff Jarrett. <Mexican endorses Jarrett?> And a promo backstage from Jackie, ODB and Velvet they’re working together in a match against Angelina, Winter and Madison Rayne. Do I see a swerve coming on the part of ODB? Yes I do.

    Only in the Russoverse

    Eric B. Hogan and Flair talk about the craziness that is the joke…er Sting. I can’t wait for Bound for Glory.

    He could so sue. Why so nervous Sting

    So yeah I was wrong it was Sarita and Rosita. Anywho.

    five minutes later and I am still screaming what the —– It was like watching some surreal dream where everyone knew how to wrestle except the one who scored the pin. Velvet appears to be struggling to look relevant surrounded by vets and better experienced wrestlers. So instead of a double cross swerve we are treated to a face turn from Jackie and ODB, who double team suplex Angelina and drag Velvet over for the win.

    nuff said

    The X division. We have Kid Kash coming out to face Jesse Sorensen. In the beginning of an obvious feud. So the bad boy of the original X division is now going to be jobbing out to the varsity wrestler? We will have to wait and see. So after holding the tights of Sorensen he heelishly wins. After a wonderful heel promo we have personality. I like. By putting in Aries and Kash they have brought in wonderful talents who can work a crowd. So waiting to see these guys in a live event again.

    Bound for Glory series. Love the vignettes of the house shows.  Crimson, Bully Ray Bobby Roode tied for 2nd, James Storm and Gunner round out the top four.

    the Pope vs RvD, the crowd is behind Rob. Oh do I miss the days when Pope would have brought the house down. what a difference a feud makes. First Samoa now this inane drama with Devon’s family. Watching Pope get beat on is as enjoyable as watching Lavar Burton getting whipped in Roots.<its okay I’m black> And surprising like Akunta Kinta he taps out and agrees to be called Toby. Rob Van Dam beats Pope with a surfboard. RvD is now tied with Gunner for fourth. OH here comes sore loser Samoa Joe. Devon take his sweet time walking out to slowly scare away Joe. Can’t wait for the Pope vs Devon match that is so coming for Bound for Glory. <sarcasm>

    Even after all he sacrificed Levar shakes his head as the Pope has set us back 400 years.

    Robbie E. and Rob Terry have a promo were he asked him to be his bodyguard. Immortal backstage working out there arms and have a semi comic unscripted confrontation. Rosita and Sarita jump Love until Winter shows up and chokes out Rosita Hogan and Flair waddle out the ring.

    Traci Brooks and a Eric B promo, who is trying <sarcasm> his hardest not to look down her shirt.

    The two stooges come out to call out Sting. Its akin to watching Grumpy Old Men 3: The wrestling Years. Well they call out the Clown Prince  of wrestling.

    Flair says tit and I think yeah, family show. So watching these men quack enough crazy to make the Robert Young Clinic call for more beds. And its official Sting vs Hogan at BFG.

    If you’re over 50, yeah get a crazy gimmick. Good to Know.

    Thank God A.J. Styles, I have never been so happy to see a redneck in my life. He calls out Daniels. Can we say sore loser. Can he never give up is he like the Vegeta to A.J’s Goku? Of course inquiring minds want to know. Daniels questions does he have what it takes to be in TNA? The fallen Angel is crying and the crowd boos and shouts the Brisco Brothers infamous “man-up” Pity something this audience could care less about. After Days of our Lives we now return to

    yep had the same reaction when Daniels was crying.

    Immortal versus Fortune….a special BFG event. No rules. Gunner, Steiner and Ray come out only to get attacked by Storm, Styles and Roode, can we say brawl. After a series of spots, Ray pins A.J Styles for the win. Bully Ray picks up 7 points.

    Mr Anderson shows up in a hummer. And comes to the ring. takes out Steiner and Gunner, Ray and Abyss wonder to the back in confusion.

    Mickie James is angry, and can’t get into words what the hell Russo’s booking has caused her. Because evil lesbian witches are not cool. And neither is the TV title being worn by Young who is on the hunt for D lister Scott Baio. <God> Young pins Baio after jumping from a tree for the three. Next.

    Crimson vs Angle.

    This match was decent, it does include Angle who could have a match with a corpse and make it believable. But just when we might have a decision Samoa Joe comes to attack Crimson after a mini beat down Crimson comes back and clears the ring of Joe, since Angle left a minute ago.

    Will Tracy become the knockout Law? Will Mickie beat Winter? Will Daniels finally overcome A.J tune in next week and see. In a post match segment Joe beats and cripples Crimson.

    Here is to next week in front of hopeful a live crowd.

  3. Impact Wrestling: 08/18/11

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    Wow, what a show. In the last little while Impact has managed to defy logic in many ways, from turning Mr. Anderson from face to heel like he’s a bouncing rubber ball… they’ve tossed the championship back and forth, and built up further the feud between Hulk “Can Barely Walk” Hogan and Heath Farley… and it looks like they’re pushing the greenest guy in the roster, Crimson, straight to the moon.

    Sigh… Well at least we should get to see Eric Young fight Scott Baio tonight, right? Sorry, no.
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  4. Impact Wrestling: 08/11/11

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    Impact had one of their Steal-A-Views on Sunday, and I’m told it sucked… hard, actually. Nothing notable happened outside of Heath Farley lost his title to Kurt Angle in part to Hulk Hogan tossing a steel chair into the ring while the referee was getting a pretzel from the concessions.

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  6. Impact Wrestling: 07/28/2011

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    Whoop dee do. It’s time for Impact Wrestling… remember how the weeks leading up to Destination X were really good shows, and promising that TNA was turning things around? Me neither. Let’s hop to this, I suppose.

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  7. Impact Wrestling: 07/21/11

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    Bah… I’m not doing uber awesome today, or this week post Sunday for that matter. Went a little to hard at the Calgary Stampede, then caught the Money in the Bank PPV later… still feeling it days later. Must be getting old, I suppose, so I should fit right in with the majority of the Impact Roster, huh?
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  8. Impact Wrestling 07/14/11

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    Hot off the heels of Sunday’s Destination X PPV, Impact Wrestling is set to follow up with something dubbed “A Midsummer’s Nightmare,” or so we’ve been told by Heath Farley last week. For those of you that have already read spoilers… well… let’s just get to this.
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  9. Impact Wrestling: 07/07/11

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    Back on Thursdays, is this G here. Yep, another week of craziness bookended by a long weekend up North and down South… which included all the drama of the NHL free agent frenzy. But you don’t care about holidays or hockey, no valued reader. You want to know what happened over in Orlando… and who Sting will emulate, tonight? Hell, I’ll even toss the Power Poll at the end for you!

    It is the go-home show before this Sunday’s Destination X PPV.

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  10. Destination X: Will We Care?

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    Destination X, is about two weeks away. Two more three way tournaments to go through, leading to the four man Ultimate X match for a contract with the company. So far, I beg for Austin Aries to win because I like his personality. Which means he has one akin to Kendrick,Kaz,Gen-Max and I think Robbie E.

    How the mighty division has fallen from its peak in 2005 at Unbreakable, with the classic match between Samoa Joe vs Daniels vs Styles. Now we have to fight for scraps between Amazing Red dressed as a K-mart brand Mexican Luchador (racist much!)* to destroying a tag team to get a member over only for them to vanish a few weeks later.**

    I pray that Destination X is good, and lord willing I will be watching it on July 10th since it’s on a day before my birthday. I could only wish that its worth the last couple months of watching Abyss carrying around his make shift Art of War, quoting verses like a traveling preacher at a revival.

    What I wouldn’t give to see something other than nostalgia but a new chapter debuting that will signal the return of a once great division that took the tradition of the WCW cruiser-weights and expanded on it.

    Introducing the “X” factor that TNA was missing since late 2009, will definitely bring relief to those long time fans that have given up on the product when Hogan and his regime came aboard more concerned with the main event picture which was doing just fine (my opinion) before they ever stepped foot into the company. But after watching the Before the Bell program detailing the resurrection of the X Division, the upcoming matches in no particular order are: (Spoiler)

    Ultimate X: Austin Aries vs Ion vs ?? vs ?? for a TNA contract

    Kazarian vs Samoa Joe

    AJ Styles vs Christopher Daniels

    RVD vs Jerry Lynn

    Abyss (c) vs Brian Kendrick

    So far decent nothing to write home about, staring nostalgia in the face right now. Hopefully the next two winners of the X division tournament can hang with Aries and prove they have what it takes to move into the company and creating a buzz.

    I know I’m wishing for a lot when it comes to July 10th with Destination X, but give an old TNA head something to look forward to in Impact Wrestling’s future other than more Hogan and Bischoff spouting about how great they once were.

    * Amazing Red is Puerto Rican not Mexican

    ** Generation Me.