Sit Here and Tell Me What You REALLY Want….
3 CommentsHappy Holidays! Merry Christmas! Blessed Yule! Happy Kwanzaa! Happy Hanukkah! (more…)
Happy Holidays! Merry Christmas! Blessed Yule! Happy Kwanzaa! Happy Hanukkah! (more…)
I have no idea of what’s supposed to be going on this week on SmackDown, though I’m sure it will involve the Unified Tag Team Champions Jeri-Show, and the World Heavyweight Champion The Undertaker as they get set for their triple threat match at Survivor Series. So screw it, let’s dive right in!
I watched SmackDown, but I was eating at the time and didn’t feel like actually reviewing the show. So, to keep up with things this week, I’m going to do a recap/thoughts column on the show. Hope you enjoy it!
In ring segment: Teddy Long says that John Cena is more than welcome to join SmackDown if he should lose at Bragging Rights. CM Punk comes out and demands a submission match against The Undertaker for the World Heavyweight Championship with Scott Armstrong as the referee and Long at ringside at the PPV. Long says he can’t do that. Before he gets a chance to announce his plans, Mr. McMahon steals his thunder and announces that Long was planning a fatal four way pitting The Undertaker against CM Punk, Batista, and Rey Mysterio for the World Heavyweight Championship at Bragging Rights.
Match #1: Rey Mysterio def. Chris Jericho following a 619.
Word Up: This week’s word is Eve, because she’s next.
Match #2: Michelle McCool def. Eve.
Backstage segment: Teddy Long enters his office to find Vickie Guerrero and Eric Escobar. Vickie says that The Undertaker is going to be furious and that Punk should’ve gotten a one on one rematch.
Match #3: John Morrison def. Dolph Ziggler in an Intercontinental Championship match. Ziggler set a chair at ringside, but Maria took it and sat on it before he could use it, leading Morrison to use the distraction to pick up the victory.
Backstage segment: Dolph tells Maria that he sees bright lights in his professional future, but he doesn’t see her in his personal future.
Match #4: Drew McIntyre & Kane def. R-Truth & Matt Hardy. For the love of not seeing your underwear every week, Matt, please go back to regular pants!
Backstage segment: Rey Mysterio and Batista agree that the best man should win at Bragging Rights.
Match #5: CM Punk def. Batista via count out.
My thoughts: If the rumors are true that Punk is in the WWE doghouse for not dressing in a suit when it doesn’t fit his gimmick, that’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard. The Undertaker does NOT need the World Heavyweight Championship. He’s a legend, and a shoe-in for the Hall of Fame the moment he retires. Batista gets injured every time he wins a major championship, and Mysterio hasn’t done much of anything lately to indicate that he’d have a successful run with the title.
Dolph Ziggler either needs to win the title, or move on from trying to win it. I like Ziggler, I like Morrison, I don’t mind them feuding, but it should’ve been Ziggler who picked up the title from Rey Mysterio in the first place.
And Matt Hardy. I’m begging you Matt, go back to pants. The tights look terrible on you, they’re just not your style. And yes, I will say this every week in my SmackDown reviews.
The one they call ‘Legend Killer’ here to bring you SummerSlam. Now, due to technical difficulties, I missed a portion of the event. Here’s what we’ve missed.
SUMMERSLAM PRE-SHOW: 15-DIVA BATTLE ROYAL
Chavo Guerrero is Guest referee.
YOUR WINNER: Beth Phoenix with help from Chavo Guerrero.
Post-Royale, Hornswoggle comes down to ringside, and with the Divas holding Chavo down. Hornswoggle hits the Tadpole Splash.
MATCH#1: WWE INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPIONSHIP
Rey Mysterio (c) vs. Dolph Ziggler
YOUR WINNER AND STILL INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPION: Rey Mysterio
Josh Mathews interviewed MVP and Jack Swagger before their match.
MATCH#2: MVP vs. Jack Swagger
YOUR WINNER: MVP
Spot the celebrity was next. Luke Perry, Nancy O’Dell and last week’s RAW Guest Host, Freddie Prinze Jr. are in attendance.
MATCH#3: UNIFIED TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP
Chris Jericho and Big Show (c) vs. Cryme Tyme
YOUR WINNERS AND STILL UNIFIED TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS: Chris Jericho and Big Show
An interview with CM Punk comes next. He’s going to re-write the ending of the Jeff Hardy screenplay he was handed.
That’s it for the catch-up. The Real Real-Time, begins NOW!
MATCH#4: Kane vs. Great Khali w/Runjin Singh
Kane tries to attack, but Khali counters easily. Khali sends Kane over the top, but Kane hangs him up on the top rope. Khali misses a Leg drop, and Kane takes advantage. Kane apparently has evil elbows. Kane goes foe the chokeslam, but Khali breaks it up and goes for the Punjabi Plunge, but Kane breaks that up. Great Khali tries for the pin but only gets a 2.
Kane goes up top with a Clothesline, and gets a 2. Kane applies a reverse chinlock, with half a leg scissor, but Khali powers out of the hold, and breaks it with elbows, then hits a boot to the face. Khali gets a near fall, then applies the Vice Grip. Kane escapes, and drags in Runjin Singh. Khali doesn’t attack, and receives a dropkick to the knees for his trouble. One DDT later, and Kane gets the fall.
YOUR WINNER: Kane
A shot of Vince’s star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. More celebrity sightings. Someone from the Today Show, Slash and Robert Patrick.
Promo video for DX/Legacy.
Side Note: My predictions are 2 and 2 going by my predictions on this very site, earlier in the week.
MATCH#5: D-GENERATION X (Triple H and Shawn Michaels) vs. LEGACY (Ted DiBiase and Cody Rhodes)
DX with a new opening section to their music, as the Army come out and fire guns in the air. HHH and HBK come out on a tank. After what seems like an eternity, DX finally enter the ring, say their usual, then Legacy hit the ring.
Helmsley and DiBiase start. Both men fight for early momentum, and it goes to the Game. Hunter with a suplex, into a Knee Drop for the two count. Rhodes gets the tag, and meets the High Knee of the Game. Rhodes slaps HBK, so HHH tags him in. Cody beats HBK in an upper hand battle with a slap, so Michaels takes him down with a tackle. Michaels repays one of the slaps, then starts tuning the band, but Rhodes escapes to the outside.
Shawn with a side headlock, but Cody escapes and tags in DiBiase. Michaels with hard chops in the corner, but gets sent across the ring by Teddy, and he does his traditional flip on the turnbuckle, meeting a clothesline on his way back. Rhodes back in, and he continues the assault. A near fall follows, and DiBiase gets the tag back in.DiBiase with a chin lock, but Michaels escapes, then hits a running neckbreaker. Michaels gets the tag to Hunter and he lets loose on Legacy. Triple H looks for the Pedigree on DiBiase, but Rhodes breaks it up. Michaels takes care of Rhodes, and as the referee is distracted, DiBiase gets a Low Blow in on Helmsley.
Legacy work on HHH in the corner, tagging in and out frequently to keep each man fresh. DiBiase with a chin lock on Helmsley, Trips tries to make the tag to his partner, but its inches in it, before Teddy pulls him away. Trips finally escapes the hold, and both men are down. Cody gets the tag and DDT’s Triple H. Cody with what looks like an Armbar-type hold, as Helmsley tries to make the tag to Shawn. Triple H escapes, and both men down again. DiBiase gets the tag, and he knocks down HBK before Triple H can get the tag.
DiBiase and Helmsley share punches in the corner, then Helmsley whips DiBiase across, but HHH meets a back elbow. DiBiase charges at H, but Trips side-steps, sending Teddy Jr. to the outside. Both men in, and both get the tag. Michaels fires at Cody, attacking on all cylinders, until diBiase attacks him from behind. Triple H takes care of DiBiase, as Michaels continues the attack on Rhodes. HBK heads up top for the elbow, but Rhodes counters, knocking HBK down. Cody tries a suplerplex, but HBK knocks him off the ropes and onto the mat. Michaels goes for the elbow again, but this time Cody gets his knees up. Rhodes tries a pinfall but only gets 2. Michaels locks in the Figure 4 on Rhodes, but DiBiase breaks it up. Triple H tries a Pedigree on DiBiase, but Rhodes breaks it up.
Shawn tries Sweet Chin Music again, but Rhodes counters into the Cross-Rhodes. Cody tries a pin, but Triple H breaks it up. Carnage follows, as DiBiase gets in DreamStreet on Michaels, but Triple H takes DiBiase out. Michaels and Rhodes help each other up it seems, then HBK fires Sweet Chin Music from nowhere, and gets the fall.
YOUR WINNERS: D-GENERATION X
I now go above 50% for my predictions, and after being 0-2, I’m now 3-2.
A promo for the NBC special of Wrestlemania 25.
MATCH#6: ECW CHAMPIONSHIP
Christian (c) vs. William Regal w/Ezekiel Jackson and Vladimir Kozlov
A confrontation before the match as both men argue, the bell rings, and as Regal is taking off his robe, Christian nails the Unprettier for the pinfall.
YOUR WINNER AND STILL ECW CHAMPION: Christian
Post-match, Jackson and Kozlov, begin a beatdown of the Champion, Regal applies the Regal Stretch, and the Champion is left laying. Just like that, I’m 3-3.
A video of the WWE superstars around Los Angeles for SummerSlam.
OFFICAL SONG: ‘You Gotta Move’ by Aerosmith
Recap of last week’s Main Event from RAW between Orton/Cena and Jericho/Show.
MATCH#7: WWE CHAMPIONSHIP
Randy Orton (c) vs. John Cena
Time to hear those Voices in your head. The ones the council you, that talk to you, that understand.
Champion introductions, as the bell rings.
Cena with a takedown into a Front Facelock for the early advantage. Cena tries to work on the arm of Orton, but receives right hands in the form of a fist to the face for his troubles. But these don’t last long, as Cena regains the advantage. He sends Randy to the corner, then drops him with a Bulldog for the two. Orton now with the upper hand, pummeling Cena in the corner, before sending him hard across into another corner. Orton starts dissecting Cena, stomping on everything that makes up the being of John Cena, before a jumping knee lands on the chest of the challenger, and Randy gets a near fall from it.
Cena tries to regain momentum, but Orton nails his BackBreaker for another near-fall. Randy now applies a chin lock, as the crowd is divided between the Cena haters and the ten-year old Cena fans. Randy turns the hold into a Leg Scissors as well as the chin lock, but Cena powers out. Cena with the Warrior Shoulder blocks, then the reverse powerbomb-type move. Next comes the 5-knuckle shuffle, and as Cena looks to finish him off, Orton gets a slam in and the near fall.
Randy begins the dissection, but Cena rolls out of the way of the Knee Drop. Cena attacks, but Orton avoids and Cena ends up on the outside. Cena tries to get back in, but Orton gets a DDT in, and gets a near fall. Orton begins his stalking for the Scott Norwood Punt, and like Norwood, he misses as Cena gets out of the way, and nails the Throwback. Cena nails what looked like the Fame Asser for the two. Cena goes for the Attitude Adjustment, but Orton escapes, and both men down take each other down with clotheslines. The ref’s ten count begins, and both men are up at 8. Both men exchange shots, and Cena gains the advantage with the Back Body Drop. Thats enough for Orton however, as he pushes the referee down and gets the blatant DQ.
YOUR WINNER AS A RESULT OF DISQUALIFICATION: John …
Wait a minute, Lilian sends a message, on behalf of Vinnie Mac, that the match is restarted, and if Orton is DQ’ed again, then he loses the Gold.
Orton sends Cena into the ring steps, then sends him in the ring for a couple of near-falls. Orton rolls out of the ring, as I notice two BEER MONEY!!!! fans in the audience. Orton decides that he’ll deliberately get counted out this time, allowing Cena to win again.
YOUR WINNER VIA COUNTOUT: John …
Wait, wait, wait. Vinnie Mac talks psychically with Lilian and the match gets restarted again.
Cena tries to finish it, but Orton rolls him up with his feet on the ropes and gets the 3!!
YOUR WINNER AND STILL WWE CHAMPION: Randy …
Just when you thought it was all over, a second referee comes down and tells the first referee, that Orton’s feet were on the ropes. So we restart again …
Cena locks in the STF and has Orton beat, until what looked like a fan comes in and attacks the referee, causing confusion amongst everyone.
The match gets started yet again, Orton nails the RKO and finally gets the victory.
YOUR WINNER AND STILL WWE CHAMPION: Randy Orton
Promo video for the TLC match for the World Heavyweight Championship is shown.
MAIN EVENT: WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP
TABLES, LADDERS AND CHAIRS (oh my!)
Jeff Hardy (c) vs. CM Punk
Champion introductions once again, as the bell rings. Punk with the assault early in the corner on Hardy. Punk with a chair, and introduces it to Jeff Hardy. Punk with the ladder in the ring, and as he climbs, Jeff knocks him down. Now it’s Hardy with an attack in the corner. Jeff goes to climb, and Punk knocks him down. Punk goes for the GTS, but Hardy blocks it.
Jeff with the chair, sets it up, goes for Poetry In Motion and misses, and Punk catches him and hits a Back Breaker on the chair. Punk slams the Ladder on Hardy, then nails him with a low dropkick. Punk sends Hardy to the outside, then jumps out of the ring with a Suicide Dive, aniling the champion. Punk sets up a table at ringside, then grabs a chair and tries to mush Hardy’s head against the turnbuckle post, but to no avail. Hardy tries to send Punk to the ring steps, but Punk avoids the steps, only to receive a chair shot from the champion. Hardy then hits Poetry In Motion in the chair. Hardy sets Punk up on a table, and tries to put him through it with a Splash, but Punk rolls out of the way, and Hardy crashes and burns.
Punk tries for the belt again, but Hardy stops him and goes for the belt himself. Punk stops him before he can grab it and goes for the GTS, but receives a sit-down Powerbomb for his troubles. Hardy goes for the title, and just as he gets there, Punk pushes the ladder over, and Hardy crashes. Punk then puts Hardy on the top rope, and nails a Superples off it, onto a Ladder. Jeff nails a Twist of Fate, then heads up top and goes for the Swanton, but Punk gets his knees up. Punk goes for the Bulldog Headlock, but Hardy puts Punk through the table that Punk had setup earlier.
Hardy goes to climb again, but Punk springboards off the ropes and knocks Hardy off. Punk puts the chair around Hardy’s neck, and looks to send him into the turnbuckle post, but Hardy blocks it, and bashes Punk with the chair. Hardy hits Punk with a piece of the Spanish announce table, then hits him with the chair again. Hardy then grabs a super ladder, climbs to the very top, and Swanton’s CM Punk through the Spanish Announce table.
The stretchers are out, and Hardy’s being whisked away. Meanwhile, Punk has crawled in the ring, and is headed for the belt. Punk climbs, Jeff makes it to the ladder as well, and both are on the ladder. Punk kicks Hardy off the ladder, and unhooks the belt to become champion.
YOUR WINNER AND NEW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION: CM Punk
Punk towers over Hardy and just when you think it’s over, the lights go out, and Taker’s gong hits. The lights come back, and Punk isn’t towering over Hardy anymore. Taker gets up and chokeslams the new Champion.
My predictions ended at 5-3. Pretty good I think, always over 50% is a good thing.
Overall, the PPV was good. I enjoyed watching it. The opening match was a good opening, and the Main event was a good viewing, even thought the finish was a little scrappy I thought, but with Hardy leaving, the return of the Undertaker, means that Punk has his opponent for Breaking Point. This has been the one they call ‘Legend Killer’, tune in tomorrow night for RAW.
Welcome to the War for a special occasion.
It’s amazing really, I barely talked about the SummerSlam Pay-Per-View LIVE in about … 14 hours time, which means … it’s prediction time.
MVP vs. Jack Swagger
The man I call Dusty Rhodes gets the win. Listen to Swagger speak, then you’ll know.
Kane vs. the Great Khali
I can’t stand Khali, so I hope Kane wins. Then again, Kane needs the mask.
Unified Tag Team Championship: JeriShow (c) vs. Cryme Time
If Cryme Tyme win, then it will be a joke. Jericho and Show with the victory.
ECW Championship: Christian (c) vs. William Regal
William Regal. Sure, it will technically count as a Major Championship reign, but having he, Kozlov and Zeke as a stable on ECW, could be a really good thing. Especially, with the leader with the belt.
Intercontinental Championship: Rey Mysterio (c) vs. Dolph Ziggler
I can’t stand Rey. I couldn’t stand him as a Filthy Animal, and I can’t stand him now. Give Ziggler the win, even though he was a stupid name.
Legacy vs. D-Generation X
Legacy should win, however they won’t. DX pickup the win.
WWE Championship: Randy Orton (c) vs John Cena
Orton should retain. I hope the snipers come and shoot Cena.
World Heavyweight Championship: TLC: Jeff Hardy (c) vs CM Punk
Considering Hardy is leaving either at SummerSlam, or the week after. Punk will win. Punk should win. Vampiro doesn’t deserve it.
There you go, that’s who will win. I will be watching if I am awake. If the PPV is not up to scratch, then I wont be watching Floyd Mayweather Guest Host RAW.
Being the last WWE Superstars before “Extreme Rules,” this review also comes with predictions for the ppv. Let’s do it!
Match 1: The Bizzare One and the Midget (Goldust and the Midget) teaming up against THE Brian Kendrick and Jaime Noble
Believe it or not, even Hornswoggle doesn’t make Kendrick and Noble look big. Noble has to have bad memories of the little troll beating him for the Cruiserweight title. Anyways…Hornswoggle hits the tadpole splash on Spanky for the win.
Extreme Rules Prediction:
CM Punk over Umaga in the Samoan Strap Match. Punk hits the GTS and drags the Samoan Bulldozer around the ring.
Santina over Vickie Guerrero in the Hog Pen match. Mickie James and Kelly Kelly help Santino’s “twin sister” get the win.
Match 2: David Hart Smith vs. Tommy Dreamer. Christian doing commentary.
I hate the Hart Dynasty music. They need to just use the old music. As the referee was distracted by Christian grabbing a chair out of Natalya’s hands, Tyson Kidd kicked Dreamer in the head and David Hart Smith picks up the cheap win.
Extreme Rules Prediction:
ECW Championship Triple-Threat Match: Tommy Dreamer gets the win and becomes the new ECW Champion by pinning Jack Swagger.
Big Show over John Cena in a Submission Match. This match is the payback match for Show and builds on the fact that he is too big for Cena to submit.
Match 3: Chris Jericho and Dolph Ziggler tagging against R-Truth and Jeff Hardy
At the beginning, Jericho claims that from now on, Superstars will be his show because he is the ultimate superstar. Jeff Hardy gets the win with a Swanton Bomb on Dolph Ziggler. R-Truth should be IC champ very soon! That dude can work.
Extreme Rules Prediction:
Intercontinental Championship Match: Chris Jericho gets the win in the No Holds Barred match. As he attempts to rip off Rey’s mask, R-Truth makes the save and starts a program with Jericho.
World Heavyweight Championship Ladder Match: Edge gets the win. No reason for him not to.
US title Fatal Four-Way Match: Kofi retains the title. Again…no reason for him not to.
WWE Championship Cage Match: Randy Orton defeats Batista, as HHH finds a way to interfere. This sets up the Summerslam triple-threat main event.
That does it for this week. Thanks for reading and see you next week for another WWE Superstars Review.
It’s just another Wednesday, which means …
I’m just kidding, it means another Wednesday column.
WWE
First of all, I have to start with Misterrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr … hang on … Misterrrrrrrrrrrrrrr Anderson
Ken Anderson, aka Mr. Kennedy, was released by the WWE this week. Now, the reason as to his release, are several in number. From sloppy suplexes to apparent wrist injuries, to a war of words backstage, to being injury prone. Many reasons are to blame for his departure. However, I can prove Mr. Kennedy was injured during RAW this past week, as this footage shows. Here is another angle of his devastating injury.
The field for the next WWE PPV, entitled ‘Extreme Rules’ is set, and it is headlined by the HogPen match between Miss Wrestlemania Vickie Guerrero and Santina Marella. Can Santina Marella reclaim her crown? Find out in this one of a kind match.
Also on the card, the WWE Champion, Randy Orton defends his title in a Steel Cage match against Batista.
Edge will defend the World Heavyweight Championship against Jeff Hardy in a Ladder match, John Cena will face the Big Show in a Battle Rap Submission match, Christian defends the ECW Championship against Tommy Dreamer and Jack Swagger, Rey Mysterio defends the Intercontinental Championship against Chris Jericho, the new United States Champion, Kofi Kingston, defends against William Regal, Matt Hardy and MVP in a Fatal Four-Way and CM Punk faces off against Umaga in a Samoan Strap match. Just let you know, this PPV takes place on a Public Holiday in the land where I roam, so be sure to watch out for my comments LIVE. Will they be here? Who knows? Stay tuned.
TNA
Samoa Joe has been injured according to Samoa Joe’s Twitter account. He has a torn tricep as well as a broken finger or two. As TNA film several iMPACTs in advance, it will not affect his appearance there, however, it will affect him at Slammiversary. It will be interesting to see what type of role he plays.
Raven, Shane Douglas and Victoria all apeared on iMPACT this week. Raven to feud with Abyss, Shane Douglas attacked Daniels and Victoria took out the Beautiful People. It’s good to see Victoria, although I heard she was retiring. Shane Douglas looks fat and Raven looks old.
Why do I get the feeling that Konnan is coming back to take out the British Invasion?
Random link of the week, just for JT.
Eric Young is becoming evil. This just gives me an excuse to link you to the Team Canada theme.
Beer Money Inc. look like they are becoming good guys. That doesnt mean I’m giving away my Beer Money Inc. T-shirt and hat.
Finally, because I teased you before, for those who clicked on the link thinking they’d get this, when they should’ve gotten this.
When I was younger, I used to manage to catch every pay per view. Used to be, we’d buy them – back when there weren’t so many of them anyway. Eventually, the PPV schedule got too expensive for regular fans like me, so we’d end up missing PPVs here or there. I’m not sure why, but I somehow wound up watching “WWF: Over The Edge” on May 23, 1999. I may not remember where I watched the show, or how I got to watch it, but I’ll never forget it. It’s stuck in my memory and will never go away.
It’s not that there was a spectacular main event. Without looking it up, I couldn’t even tell you what it was. What I can tell you is that there was a match scheduled featuring the Godfather defending the Intercontinental Championship against the Blue Blazer. If you don’t know what happened at this particular event, it may just sound like another wacky Attitude Era match between a pimp and a superhero. Sadly, the match never took place.
The promo video for the match aired, as it normally would, but instead of coming out of the promo and straight into the entrances, an obviously thrown off JR shoots us to an interview conducted earlier in the day by Kevin Kelly with The Blazer, concluding his statement with “we’ve got big problems out here.”
When the interview was over, a wide shot of the Kemper Arena crowd followed, with the voice of JR.
“Ladies and gentlemen, when you’re doing live television a lot of, uh, things can happen, and sometimes they are not good. The Blue Blazer, who we know is Owen Hart, was gonna make a very spectacular super hero like entrance from the rafters, and something went terribly wrong here,” explained JR. “Certainly, Owen Hart… Blue Blazer – very serious situation here at this point in time, is being attended to by the EMTs. This is not a part of the entertainment here tonight. We are as… This is as real as real can be here. And uh, the EMTs are tending to Owen in the ring now. And we are, again, at a little bit of a loss in this situation. I’ve been doing this for more years than I’d like to admit, and this is the… well, it’s one of the most shocking things I’ve ever seen. This is not your typical wrestling storyline. This is a real situation. Owen Hart was to ascend in a super-hero like entrance from the ceiling of this arena, and something terribly, terribly went wrong. I don’t know if the harness broke, or what the malfunction was, and, uh, we are going to keep our cameras on this crowd at this point in time…”
JR continued to reiterate that Owen Hart had an accident, and that it was not a part of the show. He tells us the show will go on, but that the bigger issue is that Owen Hart has been seriously, seriously inured. Jerry Lawler rejoins him at the broadcast booth and says that it “doesn’t look good at all.”
An interview with a very somber Jeff Jarrett and Debra followed. They put over their match, and mentioned that Owen was in their prayers.
In true showbiz fashion, after the EMTs managed to get Owen out of the arena and to a nearby hospital, the WWF’s show went on. Three matches followed Owen’s fall, with very somber performers working them, some of whom – namely Jeff Jarrett, Debra, and The Road Dogg – saying that Owen was in their prayers in their pre-match promos.
Following a tag team elimination match between The Union and The Corporate Ministry, the camera went right back to JR and The King at ringside, with some terrible news.
“Ladies and gentleman,” began JR. “Earlier tonight here in Kansas City, tragedy befell the World Wrestling Federation and all of us. Owen Hart was set to make an entrance from the ceiling and he fell from the ceiling. I have the unfortunate responsibility to let everyone know that Owen Hart has died. Owen Hart has tragically died from that accident here tonight.”
That was a decade ago tonight. It was a very sad night indeed for everybody involved in professional wrestling, be in the performers, the promoters, or, of course, the fans. Allegedly, Owen was supposed to fly in from the rafters, press a quick release trigger on his harness, and fall flat on his face. Apparently, he’d inadvertantly triggered the mechanism, and wound up falling 50 feet (some reports say 78 feet) to his death.
The following night on RAW, the storylines were dropped, the wrestlers weren’t forced to work, and several of them told stories about their fallen friend. They all talked about how much Owen loved his wife and his children, and how he was a legendary prankster backstage. Those are two nights that I’ll never forget for as long as I live. They say only the good die young – Owen was 34. We’ll never forget you, Owen!
Wednesday. The only day in the week where there is zero wrestling on your TV. Monday Nights are RAW, Tuesdays have ECW. Thursdays make an iMPACT. Friday nights have SmackDown! Saturday Nights are ROH and Sundays are for Pay-Per-View. Where does that leave Wednesday? Luckily, at BoredWrestlingFan, yours truly has completed your weekly wrestling fix.
Judgment Day is this Sunday according to WWE programming. Didnt they just have a PPV last month? Anyways, it’s time to sort out just who will win. But first, check out the awesome video for the PPV!
CM Punk vs Umaga
Remember what I said last month about CM Punk’s match at Backlash and how he only gets matches because the WWE thinks the fans want to see him? This is another one of those matches. This match means absolutely nothing to anyone, except for Umaga, because he’s actually getting used on a PPV. Punk win, just because the event is held in his hometown of Chicago. I have nothing more to say about this, because I dont care.
Rey Mysterio vs Chris Jericho – Intercontinental Championship
Tough one. Submission match. Crossface vs Walls of Jericho. Can Jericho win the IC belt from Benoit, or will Benoit retain? I’m gonna say Benoit, but it’s tough for me to decide either way … wait … it’s not Benoit in the match, it’s Rey Mysterio vs Jericho? The IC title’s on the line. What is this? The year 2000? Jericho wins. Someone boot that little Mexican back over the border where he belongs. Oh, and I hope het gets swine flu.
Christian vs Jack Swagger – ECW Championship
Christian wins. I suppose I’d better add something else here. Here we go, the greatest RAW match of all time according to yours truly. Part One.
John Cena vs the Big Show
Like I said in last week’s column. John Cena needs to learn to sell injures a lot more. He was thrown into a spotlight by the Show at Backlash and this past week, he was in a match against the Miz. 15 Days after being thrown in a spotlight, John Cena wrestled. That is just ridiculous. However, I’ve seen this match before. Infact, it happened at a Judgment Day, several years ago …
Shane McMahon John Cena vs Big Show
Edge vs Jeff Hardy – World Heavyweight Championship
Been here. Seen it before. See? StingEdge vs Vampiro
Randy Orton vs Batista – WWE Championship
This past week on RAW, Batista refused the chance to join a group including Randy Orton. I dont see why he refused, I mean, it wouldnt be the first time Batista has joined in the same group as Randy Orton. Maybe Randy should’ve offered 100,000 as well.
Two former Evolution members go head to head with the gold on the line. Both were World Champion during Evolution. Both beat Triple H for their first title reigns. Batista has a penis for a head and Randy Orton has a penis for a stablemate, as well as Ted DiBiase. Randy wins, but let’s just hope that this match doesnt go the same way as this one …
and now, here’s Part Two!
TNA
They have a PPV coming up too, it’s called Sacrifice and the main event is for the TNA Title. Champion Mick Foley defends against Kurt Angle and Sting, in a match that is sure to push the young talent that TNA say they are doing.
However, each man must Sacrifice something in order to compete and if they get pinned, then they lose what they sacrifice to the person that pinned them. Sounds simple, doesnt it? I know, a real shocker coming from TNA. So, your question now is, just what exactly is everyone Sacrifing? Well, let me tell you …
If they lose …
If Mick Foley gets pinned, he loses the TNA Heavyweight Title
If Kurt Angle gets pinned, he gives up leadership of The Main Event Mafia
If Sting gets pinned, he has vowed to never wrestle again
Also on the card, is as follows:
I-QUIT MATCH FOR THE TNA LEGENDS CHAMPIONSHIP
Booker T vs. “The Phenomenal” AJ Styles
Who cares? I believe AJ became Champ, so he could be the first TNA Grand Slam Champion.
TNA KNOCKOUT WOMEN’S CHAMPIONSHIP
Champion Angelina Love vs. Awesome Kong
I hope Kong eats her. I really do. Cannibalism on PPV will make me want to watch TNA more.
MAIN EVENT MAFIA VS. TNA FRONTLINE
Kevin Nash vs. Samoa Joe
The teacher versus the student. Remember when Nash mentored Joe? Big Kev mustn’t be a good tutor, because Joe has found himself a new tutor. Speaking of this match, Scott Hall won’t be getting involved, let Joe tell you.
THE FIRST-EVER KNOCKOUTS MONSTER’S BALL
Check back for the complete lineup
THE FINALS OF THE TEAM 3D TOURNAMENT
The winners get a shot at the TNA World Tag Team Title *cough* Beer Money win *cough*
Well, thats it. Stay tuned next week, when I, will hopefully provide not only my weekly Wednesday column, but also, a special May 19th column, in honour of Kane.
Wednesday. The only day in the week where there is zero wrestling on your TV. Monday Nights are RAW, Tuesdays have ECW. Thursdays make an iMPACT. Friday nights have SmackDown! Saturday Nights are ROH and Sundays are for Pay-Per-View. Where does that leave Wednesday? Luckily, at BoredWrestlingFan, yours truly has completed your weekly wrestling fix.
WWE
Superstars: I dont actually watch this show each week. I’m assuming it isnt as good as the opening video for the 1996 version however. 1996 Opening Intro
Smackdown: It seems my predictions from previous columns have come true. Jeff Hardy has become #1 contender and Chris Jericho looks like wrestling Rey Rey for the Intercontinental Championship. I’d like to see John Morrison’s singles push truly begin, maybe start him off in the IC Title feud, then by the end of the year have him up at the World Title level.
ECW: Christian’s Champ and it seems his challengers are Swagger, Henry and Dreamer. So they bring over Kozlov and yet don’t put in the title picture. Instead, they have him against jobbers. Why draft Kozlov over then? He could be doing that on SmackDown!
RAW: Shane McMahon os NOT the Hulk. Even though his last name is McMahon, he does not have super mega ultra powers. It sickens me to watch Shane O hold his own against one of Legacy, let alone three. God I hope Batista doesnt win at Judgment Day. For whatever God it is that exists in the world, please don’t let Batista win.
TNA
iMPACT: Lashley has done a grand total of NOTHING so far. MotorCity Machine Guns and LAX were knocked out of the Tag Team tournament, which means it looks like an easy path through to the final for Beer Money Inc. Daniels is accused of being Suicide. Daniels denies and will continue to deny until Kaz is back and able to wrestle, then they will both appear in the ring at the same time, confusing the hell outta everyone. Then they will take off the Suicide mask and realize it was Mr. Dean, the Farmer. Then Mr. Dean will say that he woulda gotten away with it too, if it werent for those MotorCity Machine Guns.
Short-ish but sweet, just the way I like it. Dont forget to check out all the details about the Priceless Wedding over at VinceRussoWatchesHisBeardGrow.com. I am the REAL Legend Killer, reminding you, that the Daschund is the best dog to have sex with.