Tag Archive: James Storm

  1. TNA iMPACT: Pntnr review- Brawl and the mysterious trainer (Please not Hogan..Please not Hogan..)

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    As the snow falls in the midwest. I look upon my computer screen (seeing as how the television decided to crap out on me)and watch an opening of surprise we have a match! The three way between Velvet Sky, Mickie James and Tara is underway as Christie Hemme announces the number 1 contenders. At first as I watched this it looked pretty sloppy, miscommunication and confused looks on faces made me almost facepalm. But eventually it picked up this of course lead to the shocking winner Tara after she spider webs Velvet on top of Mickie and cover James for the win.

    Seriously this is the only pic I could find. Not kidding.

    We have Mike Tenay go over a brawl that took place earlier that night. Jeff Hardy and Bully Ray start kicking the hell out of each other leading to Roode pulling up in his truck double teaming Hardy, which doesn’t sound as bad as you think. Soon just as Roode/Ray throw Jeff into the back of the truck James Storm runs in to eventually get double teamed that is until the bat of justice from Steve Borden saves the day. Back into the Impact Zone as Sting, Hardy and Storm head down to call out Roode and Ray. Well lets just say another fight ensues where Steve attempts to separate everyone leading to Storm suggesting a tables match. So for your main event we have Storm/Hardy vs Roode/Ray in a tag team tables match.
    We have a promo with the returning Alex Shelley, who discusses his match with Zema Ion and his subsequent match should he win against Austin Aries for the X Division title. (Just happy to see a feud with history dating back to pre-Hogan being remembered)
    This is when I shake my head as Eric Young mistakes a disfigured black crew member for Sammy Davis Jr. Only for the guy to leave him at the mercy of Winter Love who attempt to seduce him into a crotch shot only for him to be prepared with a cup. More pointless filler to further a feud which can’t really be fought because Spike TV doesn’t allow female on male violence. EY scares the Vampire Lesbians away with his cup sniffing.
    X division match is underway with Zema Ion vs Alex Shelley, and lets just say this is what TNA is all about or was. Fast paced action followed by near falls and amazing finishes. Zema Ion attempts a 450 splash only to miss and get sliced bread #2 for a three count. Shelley will advance toward Aries for Against All Odds.
    AJ Styles has a promo describing how the business changes people. And he is also getting to the bottom of the Kaz/Daniels pairing. Which of course means nothing will be disclosed.
    Eric Bischoff shows up at the gym of his son’s. Brings a camera crew to see what his trainer looks like. After some smug exchanges Garett points off camera to the shock of Eric B. Camera man is ushered out. Here’s hoping it was Eric B’s wife because who allows a man to put her son in the hospital?
    Awesome! A mixxed tag match with no actual wrestling!
    Lets give a run down
    1. EY comes into the ring and proceeds to lock up with Earl Hebner
    2. He then instructs Hebner out to the apron to be tagged in
    3. Earl is tagged in and EY gets out.
    4. EY locks up some more with Earl, Winter attacks, EY strips
    5. EY chases Winter and Love around like a pervert
    6. ODB tags in, decimates the heels
    7. EY’s Hebner baffoonery distracts ref allowing Winter/Love to take control
    8. After the heels have some fun,ODB is given liquid courage, popeye stle. EY and ODB do some double airplane spins (RIP Gorilla Monsoon)
    9. EY and Winter dizzily exit the ring, as ODB slams Love for the three count.
    10.Face Palming insues.

    EY and ODB's next business

    THen we have a Roode and Ray promo where some foreshadowing is being done. Ray makes some off color comment about Bobby Roode not being the champ for long showing distrust. Both men can’t turn their backs on each other.
    We have an overview of the non feud of Magnus/JOE and Crimson/Morgan, I say non feud due to the ass kicking JOE and Magnus have taken in actual matches. They replay the 1 minute match between Crimson and Magnus from last week. Next we JOE vs Morgan.
    Well look it here it is a good match with some hard hitting action that actually last longer than a minute. Of course Morgan wins with a running Discus Punch (shades of the Texas Tornado,Kerry Von Erich) for the win.
    Afterwards the heels beat down the champs. I have a feeling that JOE/Magnus will win next month and take on the returning MCMG in the future.
    AJ is looking for answers and he isn’t getting them. Daniels instead does some more taunting about Styles being a whiner leading to an altercation in which Daniels gets owned. When Kazarian won’t shake Styles hand because you know Daniels has something on him we get a match set up at AAO, Kazarian vs Styles, for all the answers! 
    I have a theory. Lets go back some months when Daniels turned heel and Kaz went to see him. They agreed to meet. Months go by and all of a sudden Kaz is his slave. Kaz wife Traci months earlier slept with Eric B. for the Knockouts VP position but was denied anyway with Kaz not getting angry. Even in his aborted feud with Jeff Jarrett/Karen where Jarrett called Traci names. I think Traci is Kaz’s beard as it were and he is secretly hiding his sexuality which Daniels must have found out on his trip to Kaz’s ranch.

    Just A theory

    Anyway. Tag team tables match was a third brawl through most of it leading into some almost table drops on both sides. Eventually James Storm gets Roode in a corner, letting Jeff hit the twist of fate, rolling roode on the table STorm hits an elbow drop for the win. Then after the heels return and beat down the faces putting Hardy through a table.
    Here’s to next week when Impact is in England. PNTNR OUT.

    Not the Impact Zone!!

  2. Pintnoir’s TNA Impact Review- The Road where Hardy, Storm, Bischoff and Mickie Travel to AAO…..

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    Presumably.  I could be wrong. Oh well. Lets dig in.

    What we get is a refresher in repetition. The show opens with the Genesis title match recap, we watch (for what would be the second week in a row) Roode getting himself disqualified after kicking the ref in the ball sack. (Sorry for so much detail but I’m using spell check and I could use ebonics.) We then get the added treat of a repeat of that debacle where Ray yanks out Roode costing a no contest. Retaining the title. We now official start the show with Storm coming down to the ring announcing how he beat Angle for the #1 contendership and can’t wait to face down Roode at Against All Odds. But wait, just as he’s about to spout his catchphrase out comes Hardy. I have a feeling we will not get out one on one rematch between Roode and Storm? Hardy tells Storm that “no one is getting a title shot until he gets his final encounter.” Because now we live in Out World. Storm and Hardy have a mini face off talking of screwing and someone paying child support when out from the back comes Roode. The Charitable Champion has extended his limits with Hardy and tells James Storm that since the title match was a no contest his #1 contenders match is null in void. That is until Sting ” The Insane Icon”  Or as I call him Steve Borden, H.L.I.C tells the three men that tonight it will be The Cowboy James Storm vs The Charismatic Enigma Jeff Hardy, in a new #1 contenders match which doesn’t sit well with Roode.

    We cut to Angelina Love, who does her best valley girl impression talking about how Eric Young touched her which is disgusting seeing as how he looks like ROH’s answer to Grizzly Redwood. Or because she is in love with Winter making her disgusted by men period. She decides to delay the answer to that and give EY a shot at touching her in a match. She tells EY not to bring her boyfriend to the ring. Sorry I would take ODB over Angelina Love any day, even if she wore a Klanshood.

    Ric Flair, Manager extraordinaire leads Gunner out for his match against AJ Styles. What starts as a good match leads to repetition where Gunner gets mad and leaves the ring only to have Flair pep talk him back making for a stronger offense on his part. But the tide turns toward AJ that is until repetiton looms its head again. Chris Daniels along with his indentured servant Kaz march down to the ring. Like clockwork Flair distracts the referee leading for Kazarian to clothesline from the apron before sorrowfully walking back to his master. Gunner finishes off AJ with a spiked DDT for the win. But wait more repetition when Gunner goes outside the ring to finish off Styles. Daniels forces Kaz to watch but AJ gets away through the crowd.

    In the back Bully Ray confronts Steve for a title shot. Why? Because he’s a moron. Borden reminds Ray about all the interferences he’s caused for Roode. Flat out tells him no. Ray gets in his face only to be stared down like a bully should. Magnus and Samoa Joe go on to what i suspect to be wonder years that tonight Magnus is going to kick the (bleep) out of Crimson or some such I could tell. Especially when Crimson shown his face during the interview and my computer screen went all (bleep) for about 10 to 15 seconds. That match follows.

    And like a Early Mike Tyson fight it is over in three minutes. Crimson gets some early offense a couple of heel pins and is suddenly taken down with the Sky HIgh or Crimson Sky which it is now called. Joe comes out and jumps Crimson from behind hence the beatdown can commence. Heels make their point with Magnus sporting the belt for a milisecond.

    For the second week in a row we have a advertisement for a product on Impact. I shouldn’t take because WWE has done worse. Subway anyone. Any who Eric is standing outside a Bellator truck confronting one of the cooks about being an undercover fighter, but she nothing but annoyed by the accusation and flees as fast as possible. ODB arrives and tells EY to take on Angelina with the promise of “booty bam?” At this point even ODB doesn’t know what she is saying other than code for let me out so I can try out for the WWE. But a job is a job.

    We get another clip of The Rise of Nepotism which is Garett Bischoff. We get a recap (repetition) of Garett and his stand off with his dad Eric B last week along with added footage of him training with what I presume is the Black Dynamite fight instruction team meets Rocky. That is until he looks into the camera to tell his dad wait till you meet my trainer. I sense the return of Hulkamania brewing and it will more than likely be revealed during the England tapings. Yippee!!

    Its time for a steel cage match between Mickie James and Madison Rayne Part II, hopefully this one won’t be 2 minutes long and result in the most quietest moment in a TNA Knockout match. It goes longer but its no Tara vs Mickie. Mickie wins with a jumping spiked DDT for the win before shooting one of the fakest backstage scene where her “girlfriends” Tara and Velvet Sky welcome her and Wonder Years starts asking subpar questions which lead to a brain dead moment. A win over Madison Rayne is like beating a homeless man for a quarter, its more shameful than anything.

    The intergender match is happening which still doesn’t make any kind of sense. Spike TV doesn’t allow male on female violence. So what we get instead is a quick promo of ODB in the back living out her darkest fantasy on Angelina involving Love’s saline filled breast being ripped off. This is all before Winter pops out and beats then whips ODB which would be slightly erotic if not for the upcoming visual of Love talking on Grizzly Young.  The match commences in what could be described as a blatant waste of time. EY locks up with the ref not once but twice he even locks up with a fan. This all before he gets into the ring to wrestle Angelina who simply kicks Young in the junk ending the match in a disqualification. Winter enters and helps Love beat down on EY. Because male on female violence is bad but female on male violence is kosher? Okay. ODB joins the fray and is beat down also. That is until Eric throws them both out of the ring? Isn’t that male on female violence?

    One bright spot exists. Alex Shelley returns! To reignite his feud with his long time rival Austin Aries. Double Yeah! He also tells the fans what we’ve all been thinking, We need the MCMG back pronto so we can actually have some good tag matches. I have love for The Best of Five series.

    The Main Event: I will keep this short. Bully Ray interferes beats down both opponents and the referee. This while Sting is doing nothing but twiddling his thumbs in the back. But wait Sting comes out with a bat to chase off the Bully. This of course leaves Roode positioned to come in and nail Storm with the belt. Declaring a No contest standing smug in the ring. Lets just drag this three way through the tapings.

     

     

     

  3. Pintnoir’s Impact Wrestling Review 1/5/12

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    Welcome back. After having help last week from Matt B. Wrestle, I’ve decided to return and review this weeks Impact. The final impact before Genesis TNA’s opening PPV. And I’ll be happy to report I kinda didn’t like it as a lead into Genesis I was basically bored by the events but it could be that I’m an old man by wrestling fan status (27) and feel like I’ve seen it all. Lets begin.

    Roode umpteenth replay of his leader of the selfish generation gimmick plays just to remind people that Roode is a bad man (again.) Steve Borden comes to the ring and calls out Jeff Hardy. This is suppose to again absolve Jeff of his victory road debacle and bring the story full circle since Steve alter ego Sting was his embarrassed opponent. But this is interrupted by Bobby Roode, the aforementioned leader of the selfish generation. Who brings tag alongs Angle and Bully Ray. Roode admonishes Steve Borden for picking favorites and how he should praise Angle for beating up rednecks and Ray for having awesome calves?! Oh and him because he is the face of the company. Then they are interrupted by James Storm and Abyss, who basically talk over the heels which prompts steve to set up a six man tag match. You know because both companies love to compact entertainment into one main event. Have a bias against six man tag matches or random tag matches in general? Yes. Yes I do.

    Oh look its Madison in a bikini and a mole that may or may not be cancerous like her whole persona.

    Face, back whatever it still looks suspect

    Science is still out on that one. She spots Traci at a pool and proceeds to announce that they have a tag match set up for the Knockout titles. This is all before the hazing that takes place when Gail and Madison double team Traci and attempt to drown her. Thank god for Mickie who jumps in for the save. And then we have the Knockouts Tag team match.

    Its basically a brawl which has a fired up Traci vehemently attacking Gail and in some instance Rayne with occasional assists from James. *Sidenote here* So the mystery woman from last week was Madison? Here I was hoping for some new talent. Gail beats Traci with her heel move “Eat Defeat” to retain the titles.

    Random Eric Young segment where he’s interviewed by Wonder Years about whats he up to. He looking for ODB so they can have their match even though they already lost. But whatever.

    The Wild Card Tag Team Tournament. We see the two remaining teams Joe/Magnus and Kaz/AJ go through the pre match backstage segments/interviews. Really this whole tournament was kind of one dimensional. Aside the Magnus return to the ring nothing was special about it. Too predictable with so much interference it took the joy from it. For what should be an intense match turns sour before the opening bell. Kaz who is having secret meetings with Daniels really just ruins and makes an all too predictable out come. Long story short, Kaz leaves in similar fashion to Shannon Moore, leaving AJ stranded to take a whooping aligning himself with Daniels.

    Finally, Kazarian has a storyline. Look at him smile.

    Crimson/Morgan or Blue Streak take on Joe and Magnus at Genesis.

    Oh. Garett Bishoff returns to ref but is told by GM Borden he is a wrestler. And Eric Young invades the KO locker room looking for ODB only to throw Madison inside a locker before fleeing.  Gunner takes on RVD, so since we know who wins lets just skip to the no Flair at ringside that took Steve 3 weeks to institutionalize surprisingly only when RVD is present. Because god forbid he has to take time off. RVD wins with a DQ and a save from D’lo. Al Snow and Simon Diamond. These three guys moved so slow it took 3 weeks of spiked ddt’s for them to make it ringside. Now announced is a Gunner vs RVD match which doesn’t look promising at all. Just saying.

    X division tag match with RANDOM I mean the four participants who will face each other for the X divison title come Genesis. Austin Aries (c) Kid Kash, Jesse Sorenson, and Zema Ion. THree heels and a face its possible right??

    Sorenson wins with the cross roads. Setting up the eventual Austin Aries win come Genesis. And now that I think about it where is the Ultimate X match that should be taking place here?

    Eric Young finds ODB taking pics of dudes and they wrestle then kiss. AAAHH! Cody Deener part deux is on its way.

    Even Charlie Sheen wouldn't come back for this Part Deux

    Blue Streak and Joe and Magnus brawl.

    Main Event time. Six Man tag Match! ———–The heels beat the stuffing out of the faces. Roode has Hardy in the crossface, Angle has Storm in an Ankle lock and Ray is choking out Abyss with a chain. I could go through that match it would of bored me to tears.

    call the story police, please.

    So hopefully until Genesis, THis is Pintnoir fading to black.

     

  4. TNA Impact 12-15: The Rise of Hardy and the Exodus of the Jarretts

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    We start with a promo promoting Final Resolution and its outcome.

    AJ Styles comes out for his 5 minute sudden death extension from Final Resolution against Bobby Roode. Because TNA could care less about PPV buys. After the initial 5 we have a second overtime. 30 seconds later we have Bobby Roode retaining after using a single Boston Crab on an already injured limb of Styles.

    Next we the tag tournament that teams various people together. First we have Hernandez and Robbie T taking on Abyss and Scott Steiner. Decent match which ends when Abyss black hole slams Rob Terry and allows Steiner to make the pin.

    Kurt Angle comes out to demand a rematch against James Storm. Calls out Sting who tells him that James said that he has already beaten him and is moving on to the world title picture. Angle vows to go to James hometown and attack whomever for Storm’s attention.

    Tony Nese takes on Xima Ion in a best of three series for a shot at the TNA X division title. I believe the whole purpose of this match is to build up both Nese and Ion as top contenders in the X division. And for that I have no problem with that. Xima executes 3 high impact moves on Nese before finally pinning him and shooting a cocky promo to boot.

    Jesse Neal takes on Gunner in what is I guess an excuse to write Neal off television after going on his twitter complaining about leaving. Message served as Gunner hits a DDT on the exposed concrete floor an assist by Flair sealed Jessie’s fate.

    Jeff Hardy comes to the ring and documents his victories over Jeff and the soreness that followed.Bully Ray cuts him off before reminding him that he will not be a stepping stone for Hardy.

    God… Robbie E and Douglas Williams wrestling Samoa Joe and Magnus (This all before a behind the scenes look at the too measuring each other up.) Entertaining match that really showed how well these two (Magnus and Joe) mesh. A muscle buster on Williams for the win.

    EY (Eric Young) finds out that ODB is his mystery partner.

    Devon calls out the Pope who comes to the ring with Devon’s kids. After a heated exchange Pope kicks Devon in the balls from behind. Terrence and Terrell join in holding their father as the Pope slaps on him.

    Traci comes out dressed to stress that she is a wrestler against the Killer Queen Madison Rayne.Short like a divas match ending in the weakness kick to the head I’ve seen.

    Sting calls out both Jarretts. After earlier encounters decides to fire them both.

    Roode comes to the ring to specially announce while Bully Ray wrestles Jeff Hardy (who is now the #1 contender for the TNA title belt. Okay. Bully Ray is a worker and this match ends after 2 twists of fate. Later on Ray distracts Hardy in the ring and puts him through a table. Sting emerges and is beaten down.

    End Impact.

    Final Observation: Better than the last few weeks and Impact is slowly improving and the best part I haven’t seen Hogan since the Thursday after BFG. So here is to continuity and less Russo style matches. Since you know he is still writing the show while Pritchard oversees.

  5. Late Edition: TNA Impact A Thankgiving Episode

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    After being comatose on Turkey and such, I go into IMPACT Wrestling with a heavy stomach and an even heavier heart. The show starts off with the replay of James Storm’s attack. And his subsequent search for the culprit and his reveal as Kurt Angle.  Well the show actually begins with Angle coming to the ring to what may be actual boos and not piped in heat. He cuts a promo. This of course prompts James Storm to come out and say his piece. The promo was decent Storm looked to be stumbling over some words but he presented his point. This of course leads to Storm having enough talking and now wants to fight. Which prompts heel Angle to put on the brakes and all he wants to do  is talk like a gentlemen. But if it’s a fight Storm wants he gladly provides it with Immortal w/ Daniels.

    Bully Ray, Jeff Jarrett w/ Daniels to be exact. Angle taunts Storm who proceeds to punch Kurt in the face before rolling out of the ring before anyone can touch him. Shortly after Fourtune runs out w/ Mr. Anderson and RVD. More precisely its AJ Styles, Anderson and RVD. Brawl ensues. Storm comes back in and fights Angle.  After a lengthy brawl Immortal actually retreats with Bully Ray leading the charge. Tenay announces a 8 man, 2 team elimination match main event. Team Angle vs Team Storm. And no neither Storm or Angle are wrestling due to injury so the other two men are Jeff Hardy for Team Storm and World Champion Bobby Roode for Team Angle.

    Rudy Charles and Eric Young come to the Zone with a cooler. EY asks Charles to unveil the annual Turkey Suit.

    Replay of Sting making Matt Morgan and Crimson into a tag team, and there win against Mexican America. What could this mean?

    Rematch of last weeks match. Next up Morgan/Crimson (C) vs Mexican America for the TNA Tag Titles.

    * To cut it short here,  Anarquia in similar fashion to last week is beat like a red headed step child. To the point that Hernandez is never brought into the match. And is double choke slammed for the 1,2,3. Crimson and Morgan retain.

    Backstage EY, Rudy Charles have a confrontation with Robbie E and Rob T about a match up for who wears the turkey suit. If Robbie E refuses he will be stripped of the Television title. After Robbie E and Rob T storm off, Eric Young reveals to Senior Official Rudy Charles that he made the Sting/ title stripping up.

    Karen and Traci march their way to the ring.

    The Terrible 4 (sorry Traci but…) make their way to the ring. Karen, Gail, Madison and aforementioned Traci. Karen calls out all the knockouts minus Mickie, Sarita, Rosita (since the two latinas do not exist on the roster. besides being valets) and Toxxin (because….) So basically Tara, Tessmacher, Velvet, Winter and Love. She bashes male viewers for being disgusting and that because of that there will be a knockout lingerie match. The funniest part was when she was down talking the five women for pretending to be wrestlers she was looking dead at Tara, their faces were an inch apart. Later on in the back Velvet, Tara and Tessmacher with interviewer Christy Hemme are gripping about how they thought this was a different company where athleticism mattered over showing skin. And that folks is where Pintnoir goes in to rant mode.

    These five women are flabbergasted that they have to wrestle in a lingerie match, citing without calling out WWE about mistreatment. The women in question are Tessmacher who is a former or current Hooters girl, Velvet who along with Love would come to the ring in basically a bra and panties  and Tara who just 3 three weeks ago was going all faux lesbian with Tessmacher. Don’t get me wrong about how TNA handled this their heavy handed way of telling the fans that because we wanted to see skin you will get it but we will also chastise you for making this happen because of tweets, emails and what not. Bullshi….. they have just realized that these five women do not have anything really to do.

    End rant.

    Now the match has been changed to a Thanksgiving Thong Thunder match. And will be added to TNA tradition right next to the turkey suit match.

    Rant. no energy left.

    Long story short it becomes a pose off between Velvet, Tara and Tessmacher (faces) against Madison, Winter and Love (heels). The pose off last for a few minutes before the heels attack from behind. (also noted even with less clothes on Madison still draws no reaction.) During the ruckus Earl Hebner looks as lost as Hugh Hefner at a women rights rally. Madison eventually goes for the title belt to use on Velvet when Earl is distracted, Mickie comes out takes the belt guillotines Rayne on the top rope which leads her over for the facebuster giving Velvet the win.

    Backstage Karen yells at the six women for wearing too much clothes and promises next week to supply the lingerie herself.

    Jeff Hardy comes out with wearing a hoodie and a mask. He enters the ring and grabs a microphone only for it to be revealed as Jeff Jarrett. Hardy comes out and attacks Jarrett after he cuts a promo on how Hardy is a degenerate. Immortal comes out and beats on Hardy before Fortune comes to clear the ring.  But before it ends Jarrett throws Hardy against the steel steps injuring him.

    The Turkey suit match commences. After introductions, Robbie E attacks EY outside the ring and even beats up on the suit for cheap laughs. EY eventually gets the upper hand until Rob T hands Robbie a spool kite handle???? which he uses to smack EY in the face for the win. When Rudy Charles counts the three and raises Robbie’s hand revealing the weapon the match is restarted. After a spiked piledriver Eric Young wins but Robbie E is out could so Rob T has to wear the costume  he is so enraged he chases Eric out of the ring.

    8 Man Elimination Match is next.

    Brief walks with both teams talking strategy. Roode enters after everyone else with the belt. Talks on commentary for a while while the two teams fight minus him and Hardy who is kayfabed injured. Eventually he comes to the ring when Anderson is down and gets the pin. He wrestles Styles only to get himself disqualified. Daniels rolls up RVD. This of course leaves AJ by himself against Jarret, Ray and Daniels he soon gets the upper hand leaving all four men laid out. Hardy’s music hits and he comes to the ring tags Styles and systematically eliminates Daniels and Jarret before being stopped by Ray with a boot to the face. He kicks out after 2 tags in AJ who goes for a spring board clothesline for the three. Roode sneak attacks both Jeff and AJ, standing over Styles with the belt with the movie music playing in the background.

    For what it was it was decent nothing new just an episode for fans to have something to watch while they digest. —pintnoir out.

  6. Late Edition- Pintnoir’s thoughts on Impact Wrestling-11/17/11

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    Since I’m past the date of due, I decided after watching Impact Wrestling a day late to just run through what I liked and what really irritated the hell out of me.  Why you ask? Because after treading around for hours for a site to view it from I watched what could be only described as a shitty attempt at booking and story. The backstage segments felt just sadly inserted into the show where it looked as if Steve Borden (Sting minus makeup) Ninja vanished into a locker room only after seconds earlier talking to Matt Morgan and Crimson and convincing them to take on Mexican America. And lets not forget watching James Storm trek through the back looking for his assailant in one asinine confrontation after another.

    Lurking like a ninja in the dark.

    But before I spill all my guts about this travesty lets look at how the show starts.

    Show opens with Turning Point main event between Roode and Styles in which Roode wins via heel win. (For those not in the know he rolled up AJ and held the tights.) Roode comes out talking down to the rest of Fortune. Making sure everyone knows he was the leader and carried the rest of the group, but that now he had to scrap them off his boots. He tells Storm that he needs to get out of his shadow which of course prompts Storm to come out he makes the obligatory comments about being a redneck cowboy and calling Roode a jackass and a dumbass in the same sentence. Not making that up.  Making his way to the ring security intervenes. Skipping ahead AJ comes out and attacks Bobby. Later after Sting comes out and makes a 30 minute Iron Man Match; Roode attacks Dixie and eventually Styles again who comes to the rescue before security separates him from the owner of the company.

    Where is security when the owner of the company is being assaulted? They came quick for Storm but not for Dixie? Anyway this does very little for Roode’s heel heat which would actually have worked with a simple “Roode attacked Storm to get out of facing him for a second time” But no. We have the Cowboy come out and accuse Roode only to be told by his two faced former partner that oh no I didn’t attack you. And he buys it. Its good to know that Pritchard is filtering Russo to such wonderful success.

    And another thing what is up with the in ring brawl with security who for some reason can’t seem to successfully separate people. Gives me migraines of Hardy/Jarrett.

    Sting confronts Roode for shoving Dixie. Roode who now goes from Balboa back to his money heel promises to have his lawyer(s) plural sue Sting if he touches him. Consistency is a wonderful lost art.

    Devon (who is out of shape and obviously going to job for the television title)- ugh- His kids and the Pope all come to the ring like a wonderful same sex couple. Because Devon’s wife has all but vanished ninja style. But I digress they are all coming to give cannon fodder to Robbie E and Rob Terry, I’m having flashbacks to Disco Inferno and not in a good way. Long story short Devon dominates before the Pope is knocked out by Rob T, leading to Devon’s kids coming to his aid. This of course distracts Devon who is rolled up and losses the match.

    And I thought Pritchard killed this story.

    Tag Match with Austin Aries (who is one of the bright spots of Impact) Kash vs Sorenson (who is slowly forming a personality??!!) With Kendrick who could of easily been replaced by Xima Ion very easily.  Typical heel disruption causes Kash to eat a crossroads for the faces to win.

    Aries leaves and the match loses 50 cool points which is the only cool points it had to begin with.

    Karen gives Gail the night off. Sends brown nose Madison out to take care of Velvet. Pointless Storm search leads to Anderson who is playing Madden when he should be playing a new TNA Impact game if we ever get one on par with WWE’ 12. Any who pointless stare down and posturing leads to Storm unplugging the game.

    10 woman Knockout Elimination match-Velvet who is out first faces Rosita. Bell rings and 5 seconds later Sky hits the impact buster for the pin. Next its Tessmacher who gets a bull dog and waltzes out 3 minutes later. Angelina follows she pins Velvet with trunk assistance. Love gets taken out by Mickie James shortly after. Mickie then faces…Sarita, boy this should be a good match especially after she reverses the implant ddt but a minute later she is taken down with what looks like a funky version of a implant ddt. Next is Tara but a couple minutes later she is out with a DDT. Winter’s next, spin kick and out. ODB comes out and gets a solid reaction from the crowd. After some scuffle she is taken down with a top rope lou thesz press. After a tantrum where she takes out Mickie with an F5 maneuver which lays out James. Madison comes to the ring to crickets taking her time and I do mean she goes at a turtle pace before sliding into the ring for the pin only to be rolled up. Mickie wins. Yeah this was sad filler.

    Sarita versus Mickie; Sarita in the main event; The whole damn match!

    At this point I start to tune out as I see Storm confront Bully Ray who tries to get him into Immortal. Jeff Hardy has a confrontation with the Jarretts (specifically Karen Jarrett) which drags on way to long to be entertaining. Karen who looked so lost before and after Jeff Jarrett entered the ring is just a sign that she needs to be taken off television or put into OVW to sharpen her skills.

    Where sub par talent goes.....to hopefully never return

    So the makeshift tag team of Crimson Blueprint takes down Mexican America after only one night together while Ink INC with the addition of Von Erie aka Toxxin could not do. Bullsh…….

    Garrett beats Gunner with a Mickie style DDT. That was the main event by the way.

    Finally we have Storm. Who came out to accuse AJ of attacking him, seen as he has now been given two shots against Roode. Fight breaks out before Kazarian comes to the ring to break it up. Because that is all Kaz can do is break up bitch fights with team mates instead of the feud he should of had with Jarrett. But I digress again because who knows what is going on back in the writing room.

    When Kaz meets a storyline

    Kurt who was lurking under the ring comes out as Storm leaves. He attacks and shoves Storm back into the ring admitting it was him. This of course is followed by that crappy Impact Music of Doom. And I vomited.

     

  7. Pintnoir’s Impact Wrestling Review- 11/10/11

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    Here’s another edition of Impact Wrestling. Where tonight cowardly heels return, Garrett Bischoff shows his skills and Karen continues to screech her way onto my television screens. Lets take a look.

    Back in Georgia.

    Roode comes out cuts promo on crowd and on James Storm. Taking his opportunity and becoming world champion. James Storm is seen in the back trying to fight back security eventually making to the ring which causes Roode to take off. As Roode takes a heel-like run up the ramp the Stinger shows up. Steve Borden declares that there will be a world title rematch tonight. Roode looks worried.

    Segment of Ronnie and Eric Young walking into the building with each carrying a belt.

    side-note: Why was there a WWE commercial being played during Impact? Come on Spike get it together. And for their PPV no less.

    Another segment with Dixie Carter walking with Bellator founder,

    Bjorn Rebney

    Back to Impact we have a Crimson/Matt Morgan promo. Looks to be decent until the match starts with Crimson versus Pope D’angelo Dinero. The crowd has little love for Crimson and a lot of love for the Pope, who has been booked into the ground these past months. (That’s what I love about a live crowd similar to Philly they are not behind Crimson but Pope is cheered) I sense a Cena-like response for him in his future.

    Anyways Pope puts up some good offense hitting a devastating DDT and following it up with a fist drop and a 2nd rope fist drop. After whooping the Red one lil brother he takes to the rope again to meet the Red Sky (Down Low) Crimson for the win. The crowd did not look happy.

    Gunner takes about Garrett showing respect and how he’ll learn it.

    We’re back and Gunner comes out with Eric Bischoff & Ric Flair, my spider sense is detecting a DQ. Next Garrett comes down to the ring in Wife beater and Jeans no music. What begins slow with Gunner talking to Bischoff/Flair causes the crowd to jeer leading to the former security guard to take a couple of arm drags and eventually a front slam. Gunner who rolls out of the ring confused looks on as Flair runs in as Garrett flees and the match is declared a Disqualification. (I’m psychic)

    I agree Spidey

    So we have a backstage comedy segment with a doorman not letting Robbie and Rob Terry into see Ronnie from the Jersey Shore. Eric Young pops his head out asking if he wants a t-shirts. Eventually Ronnie comes out and a comedy spot ensues with Robbie jumping up on Big Rob in piggy back fashion. Elsewhere James Storm is found bloody in the back. He seems unresponsive.

    Its time for X-division action as….. Oh my God! Little Elian Gonzalez isn’t dead.

    Your guess is as good as mine

    Oh wait that is Xima Ion who I almost forgot was in the division along with Nese. This could be good. Jesse Sorenson comes out for wrestle and I think maybe a tag match against Kash and Aries? No singles match so my mind goes to interference or Ion is showing how tough Sorenson is. The latter happens, better than interference. But the match is good albeit short. After missing is top rope finisher, Sorenson hit a cross roads maneuver for the win. Kash comes out sarcastically congratulating him and tells him to sign a contract for a match against Aries for the X division title. After he signs Kash clarifies that it will be a 3 way match. Kash bashes Sorenson’s mother before getting punched. Aries runs out for the double team.

    Oh god not a Knockouts segment/match involving Karen and her Posse. As all the women in the back screech back and forth with the occasional loud pitched screech at Traci for causing the title to be on Velvets waist. I blame Traci too.

    A knockout tag team title match with Mickie James/Velvet Sky. When I see Gail and Mickie in the same ring I think back to Botchamania.the ending is classic

    Velvet takes on Rayne first and all that goes through my mind is “Bathroom Break Eminent!” Sirens blaring everywhere. After a cluster buck in which the crowd seems to care less. Which is sad because two years ago they would be some kind of response. it mercifully ends when Gail boots to the chin Velvet for the win. (special note even Earl Hebner wasn’t interested when he made the count from outside the ring)

    Next its Jersey Shore vs Jersey Shore gimmick revisited.

    When Robbie E and Rob Terry come out all that comes to mind is bad images of gay porn. You know who’s the power bottom. EY  and Ronnie come out, with Eric doing his best Grizzly Redwood impression. Ronnie pins Robbie and Young ends up in a leopard print undies. And the gay porn images persist.

    This is to make up for last week, because I'm anything but Biased

    Back in the commissary, 3 punks eat until the Barrio 4 walk in stealing peoples lunches. Fight breaks out with factions??? leading into of course Turning Point. I like Pritchard’s use of minimalism when it comes to who is on the program when it pertains to PPV’s. Personally I would rather see a Sarita versus Toxxin match instead with the Knockout title on the line, but I dream too much like MLK.dream on

    The founder of Bellator comes out on commentary and commences to talk up the product similar to an infomercial while  Christopher Daniels and AJ Styles finish their feud before there respective new feuds come Sunday. Good solid match with Daniels going for a screwdriver. Rob comes out and steals it away, leading to AJ finishing Daniels with a Stylez Clash.Oh and “Thanks for the Bellator moment during it”

    Six man Tag match with the Founder, a Bully and Steiner Brother taking on a reformed addict, an asshole and mystery????, after commercial break we have an answer. Its the monster Abyss. After a decent match Abyss hit Steiner with a black hole slam for the win.

    Roode comes out for the main event. Commercial break. We’re back as James Storm’s music plays. No one shows. Theme song comes again. Slowly Storm comes out still covered in blood. He rushes the ring and puts the hurt to Roode before collapsing. After chants from the crowd to “Get up Cowboy”  The Doctor comes out to get him to the back. Roode offers to assist. When he finds out that the match wasn’t ended he rolls up Storm for the three before Fortune hits the ring. Sting walks past Roode into the ring. AJ gets a microphone and challenges Roode at Turning Point. Sting makes it official.

    Styles is wrestlng bum ankle be damned

     

     

     

     

  8. Impact Review 11/3 – A Heel is Lurking

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    Welcome to a late edition of Impact review.  Pintnoir always comes to Impacts rescue today we come from Macon, Georgia.

    Look Ma, I can use google to find Macon rhymes with bacon, Georgia

    James Storm cuts a promo about how The South is full of respectful people

    where everyone is treated with respect and understanding.

     

    who treat everyone equally and use manners and how if any one disrespects the good ole USA they’re going to get their butts kicked. He calls out Roode. Together the tag partners schmooze about Beer Money giving each other compliments about how there career wouldn’t be where it was if it wasn’t for tagging together. They promise to steal the show.

    Sad but true

    So what do you get when you have a pair of lipstick lesbians, a bitter defector, a shrieking harpy, and a good digger?

    Give up? its the knockout Tag Team match featuring T_N_T (Tara & Tessmacher) versus Gail Kim & Madison Rayne w/ Knockout Law Karen Jarrett followed by Chyna’s little sister Traci Brooks.

    Who loves to watch Shite? I do!!!

    Long story short after interference from Karen, and a sneak attack by Gail on Tara we have new Knockout Tag Team champions?!?! They were defended so well these past…weeks.

    Garrett Bischoff cuts a promo. Is he planning on offering an apology to his egotistical father? We’ll find out.

    Garrett comes out and gives a sincere apology with just a hint of snide sprinkled in just before he begins to beat the tar off his gray haired papa. While fun it comes to an end when Flair and Gunner run out for the save.

    Later Bischoff finds Sting telling him that the stinger can rewrite his iron clad contract any way he likes if he can deliver Garrett in the ring for an opponent of Eric’s choosing. (They effectively explain that Bischoff and Hogan have contracts that allow them to stay on Impact no matter the outcome of the BFG match) Sting thinks it over.

    Christopher Daniels is seen next talking about his greatness and how he didn’t use a screwdriver on RVD “it isn’t my fault if the ring crew forget their tools.” This is all right before RVD shows up behind him to beat on him. Daniels, after taking an extended beating runs away only for Rob to proclaim “see you at Turning Point.”

    Austin Aries vs Jesse Sorenson (again) in a non title match, so who is going to win this one? (I dunno) with special condescending commentary from Kid Kash. I love Kash and hearing him rip into Sorenson for not respecting the vets while at the same time telling everyone he was the best X division champion in history. Sorenson reverses a brainbuster into a small package for the win. Afterwards Aries and Kash diss the rookie right before Kash asks Aries if he should get his knife. Classic.

    Robbie E and Rob Terry get ready for their showdown with (sigh) Ronnie of the Jersey Shore and Eric Young (sigh) Television Champion. This is an asinine challenge considering EY has had the belt for god knows how long and is finally defending against an opponent who should not be there. Ronnie comes out and gets dissed right before he spears Robbie E leading to Terry beating on both Ronnie and EY. Afterwords EY challenges the two Robs to a tag match next week. (Later on tonight in Macon, Georgia time)

    Immortal’s music hits and were treated to Bully Ray/Jeff Jarrett vs Jeff Hardy/Mr. Anderson in a tag match decent match that ends a disqualification when Steiner comes to the ring to interrupt a double Kenton/Swanton bomb attempt on the two heels. Later a beat down commences.

    Garrett and Sting meet and talk about the challenge sent by his father after Sting rethinks it Garrett accepts and tells him to go along with his dad’s demands. Promo showing the Roode vs Storm match that so sets up a heel turn its not even funny.

    Crimson gets called out by Matt Morgan who issues a challenge. Morgan goes on about how he’s the best 7 footer in the business. I guess he hasn’t heard of the Undertaker. Crimson accepts and we have a match… At Turning Point.

    Roode vs Storm for the TNA World Title. After a lengthy bout and a ref bump which results in Roode telegraphing his heel turn by staring at James Storm’s beer bottle for 30 seconds hits him from the outside and rolls in for the pin and is proclaimed champion in front of a booing Georgia crowd. He ends the show with his foot on the former champion.

    the bottle made him do it!

  9. iMPACT 10/27- Pintnoir Review

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    AH Welcome to another Pintnoir review of iMPACT Wrestling.

    We open on a Storm montage going over his win at last weeks ppv. Then out comes the cowboy Storm with new theme music, he talks about his father and how he told him when watching Wrestlemania 3 that he wanted to be a wrestler. Fortune proceeds to the ring congratulating but Samoa Joe’s music hits he comes out and insults Storm and Roode wants his shot at the title. (*didn’t BFG have a stipulation where whoever won the three-way between Joe, Morgan and Crimson would get a title shot and didn’t Joe lose to Crimson?) ANYWAY! Sting comes down exerting his authority and makes a number one contenders match between Joe and Roode. Winner faces James Storm in Macon, Georgia.

    Daniels does a promo claiming AJ doctored audio to make it sound like he said “I Quit”, you know because this is WWF circa 1999. He ready to prove how dominate he is when he takes on “Bob” Van Dam.

    Rob Van Dam vs Daniels is a okay match there seems to be communication problems between Van Dam and Daniels during the match but Rob probably high on the cush. AJ joins on commentary. Match ends when Daniels hits Van Dam with a tool box, then he proceeds to pull out a screw driver. Styles runs off Daniels.

    Karen Jarrett and entourage come down to the ring. Gail cuts promo. She talks about all the emails and tweets about why she gave Velvet a concussion, and simply states it’s “none of your damn business”. This promo seems to imply her actions against her former employer more than Velvet but that’s just me. Then out comes Tara for her scheduled squash match against Gail. After a commercial break Gail is beating the tar out of Tara which leads to a new finisher. A drop down boot to the chin manuever. OH yeah I forgot to mention that Karen calls Velvet a prostitute and gives Gail a title shot. While Madison Rayne looks on and cheers? plot holes your honor?

    Jeff Hardy Promo

    TV Title defense where we have the weaker Jersey shore wrestler taking on Eric Young (c). Rob Terry is outside when the match begins. For what its worth EY can still go, but the match lasts a minute ending in a roll up pin for Young. Rob Terry jumps in a lays the smack down which prompts EY to bring out his hollywood heavies, Ronnie from the Jersey Shore. God how I hate Viacom. Not only do they run MTV but also Spike.

    Two promos one shows Eric Bischoff walking out to the ring and the other follows Daniels making a phone call and being approached by Kazarian about burying the hatchet between him and Styles.

    Replay of the whole Garrett Bischoff/Jackson James set up going back to Turning Point 2010, and Final Resolution. Showing how he screwed Matt Morgan out of two title defenses. Easy E comes out and calls out his son tells he has to the end  of the night to apologize or he’ll “beat his ass”

    Afterwards Flair confronts him. Tells Lil Bisch to call him “GOD” not Mr. Flair. Calls him a punk and slaps him around while traditional slurring his words.

    Jeff Jarrett comes out. Calls out Hardy again for the third time in two weeks (this includes a PPV). Fight ensues. This of course leads to an attack from behind by Bully Ray. Hardy showing little ring rust. Leads to a good match where Ray takes his bumps for the team. Hardy wins with a twist of fate. After Jarrett jumps him, throws him back into the ring where Ray busts him with a chain. Jarrett grabs a table to put Hardy through but Anderson comes out for the save.

    Roode vs Samoa Joe is good. Roode wins leading to Storm coming out and lifting a beer to him. Roode responds with a thumbs up.

    EB and Ric GOD Flair confront Garrett in the ring about his behavior which leads Bischoff (JR) to punch GOD in the face before being low blowed by his father and then Flair. Show ends with Garrett on the floor and Bischoff senior and Flair hugging.

    See you next week in Macon, Georgia.

  10. Impact Wrestling 10/20 – Pintnoir review

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    And Hillbilly Jesus cried…..

    Getting ahead of myself. After what should of been the greatest PPV of the year, but instead turned into false expectations and lukewarm matches (except for Austin Aries vs Kendrick, and Lynn/RVD) we have the aftermath.

    Impact Wrestling starts with a Sting promo, which leads the former insane icon to call out Hogan. Hogan comes out and gives props to Stinger for the assist in getting back on the right track. He talks on about how it wasn’t Bischoff’s fault for what happened and he takes responsibility for his actions for being a follower instead of a leader.  After Hogan leaves, in steps Dixie Carter. She goes on how Sting warned her 18 months ago about Bischoff/Hogan’s plan. Sting accepts her apology and is given the task as…Mick Foley’s Job?? Anyway he’s appointed in charge of Impact Wrestling. But Angle steps out next. He talks about how Dixie being back doesn’t make him happy and how he’s the world champion and will make decisions. Out steps Roode, he tells Kurt that he screwed him and Angle agrees telling Bobby he was a threat and couldn’t let him win. (Nice job making him look threatening) Tells Roode that when they signed the contract Angle took advice from Hogan/Bischoff and put in a no rematch clause.

    And just as Kurt is about to mockingly steal Storm’s trademark line guess who’s music hits, James Storm says that since Roode can’t get his rematch he instead volunteers himself. Sting steps in and makes it official. Storm gives Angle the Shade eyes before saying “Sorry about your damn luck!”

    Okay for it being what it was that whole segment including commercial breaks (which there where two) Lasted 40 minutes in length. By the time we came back to the show with the Knockout Tag match it was 44 after the hour. Sorry about being a watch Nazi but that was long. That could’ve of been resolved in backstage segments.

    Whatever. We have the Knockouts Tag match with former MIA Tara.  She and Ms Tessmacher have a match against the TTLV or as I all them Love and Winter with the titles on the line.  After a decent match which besides Love’s attempts at offense was capitalized with Tessmacher flying throw the air Ricky Dragon style (flying crossbody) on Winter for the three. She is working her butt off for the respect of the fans without all the push behind her.

    The Promos in no particular order include: Hogan being cornered in the parking lot by Immortal, Bischoff tells Hogan to face him like a man in the ring later.

    Velvet Sky talks about everything she has went through to get the knockouts title. Which includes clips of her as the heel team the beautiful people alongside Madison Rayne holding the knockout tag titles while laughing heel like. Of course this is followed by her narration of being picked on as a child and through school and how she decided she would never allow that to happen again and to fight for everything she wants. This must include her putting bags on people who were not considered beautiful and spraying hairspray in peoples faces?

    Eric Young is doing a photo shoot when Robbie E and Rob Terry confront him. Robbie E wants the television title which Eric obliges on the condition that Rob Terry doesn’t interfere or Eric will get his big time television friends to help him, this is before mentioning Ronnie from the Jersey Shore. (Sigh)

    Abyss takes on Gunner. Gunner cuts an okay promo in which he describes how bad ass he is this is before Abyss comes out and destroys him. Gunner runs away to the back. Abyss wins by countout. Backstage Gunner runs into Immortal and tells them “That wasn’t Abyss out there, that was the monster”. They blow him off and proceed to take out Hogan.

    In the ring Bischoff talks and eventually slaps Hogan only to cause Hogan to point his finger which the crowd chants “YOU” before Eric runs and Immortal runs in. Sting flies in with two baseball bats and scares off Immortal. Bischoff while walking up the ramp bumps into his son who he berates and even rips off his shirt revealing a Bischoff tattoo over his heart. Garrett B punches his dad before giving Hulk the thumbs up.

    Velvet Sky comes out with the Knockouts belt. Talks about the sacrifice she put in and blah blah blah. Karen with Traci come out. First Karen has Traci removed from the arena before moving forward with her plan to physical hurt Velvet. Out comes Madision Rayne. While Velvet is distracted by her a returning Gail Kim runs in and ambushes her from behind. Soon both women Kim and Rayne are beating the tar out of Velvet before all three hug.

    And finally we have the conclusion of the program, which include the best 6 minutes in main event history and this includes Jeremy Borash’s introductions of the wrestlers. Welcome Time Nazi, from Midwest time. From 9:50-9:56pm, We have Kurt Angle VS James Storm. But before that we have the Roode pep talk about how Storm’s been preparing for this a long time. Anyway when the bell rings at 9:54pm and Kurt starts beating on Storm in what looks like a not so typical Kurt Angle match getting Storm into the corner before the ref pulls him off twice well on the second attempt Storm busts out the Last Call AKA Super kick and floors Angle for the 3, all by 9:56pm.

    What a way to win the title. I know that being a time nazi is not fun but Kurt mentioned in the earlier promo from the opening of the show that him and Roode went for 30 minutes, which means Angle is slowly losing take of time. Because from my recollection it was more like 14 minutes. But who’s counting.

    After a brief celebration in which Storm tries to hand Roode the belt which he respectfully declines. We close out at 10:01pm. Bound For Glory is TNA’s Wrestlemania, Starrcade and so on  but after Thursday all it really says is that no fan needs to waste money on the program because they can watch a painfully talkative show with a face finish for free. Oh yeah since Impact is being lazy so am I. Here is my one picture.

    Sorry about my damn luck!