Uh-Oh! It’s not the Big O, Broskis, it is in fact I, the ringleader of this little group of smarks we call BoredWrestlingFan.com, ThinkSoJoE! Justin Ruff is not feeling well this evening and we wish him a speedy recovery as I dive head first into Monday Night RAW! The best part about this is, I don’t know ANYTHING about tonight’s show other than Shawn Michaels is on it, so I can review this and give my thoughts as I initially watch. And here you thought I only did the podcasts!
Time for the dog show! Oh wait, they don’t preempt RAW for that anymore. You can watch it on CNBC, if you’re so inclined. Except this aired 3 hours ago, so you can’t.
My wrestling world is going great. Raw has been good for 3 weeks in a row. I’m going to MPX live with my mother or wife, whoever wins. AIW is having a 4-way of Facade, ACH, Rickey Shane Page and Uhaa Nation AND Tim Donst vs. BJ Whitmer at Gauntlet for the Gold 7. Chikara is also starting to get their year going. I just discovered a site where I can get really cheap Japanese DVD’s. And Gregory Iron announced he was going to be part of the Super 8 tournament. I am in pro wrestling nirvana.
Triple H begins the night be flashing back to 2002 where every Raw began with him in the ring wearing a suit. HHH really needs to stop channeling The Rock or Vince. He cannot hold a crowd the way they can. He cuts a certain type of promo really well. This wasn’t it. It was a pretty boring, way-too-long promo. Then he was interrupted by a really good Undertaker vignette.
Big Show nearly sprinted out to the ring. Daniel Bryan brought out AJ, (Thank you.) who looks breath-takingly beautiful in a neck brace. Big Show and Daniel Bryan had a really good match. Then Big Show was going to hit AJ inadvertently and stopped just in time. Then Daniel Bryan took the mic and said Big Show was a horrible person. I really liked Daniel’s psycho persona.
John Cena meets Carl Edwards. I could care less about NASCAR. This isn’t helping me not boo Cena.
David Otunga still exists. He decides to pray for Johnny Ace’s return. So does Mrs. Ace. He Tebows. I kid you not. He Tebowed. Then Justin Roberts announces Otunga has a match. And his opponent is my pasty hero Sheamus. Sheamus made his chest redder than Otunga did. The highlight of the match was my wife pointing out Little Naitch Charles Robinson.
Chris Jericho takes a mic. Nothing more need be said. Punk came out and said nothing, just held the belt. Perfect.
Wade Barrett and Cody Rhodes. My wife laughed at how much better-looking Cody Rhodes is than the rest of his family and said Barrett needs to pin his ears back. Those two faced Great Khali & Randy Orton. The match was very predictable. Whatever.
We get to watch this Cena s*** again? What better way to show the people how much we shouldn’t boo him than show Jared from Subway?
Beth Phoenix is devious. That’s what I learned from the 1-minute Divas match.
Then they showed THE SAME VIDEO PACKAGE from earlier with the Undertaker.
The 6-pack challenge was good.
This was a pretty mediocre Raw. Show-Bryan and 6 Pack were good. I also loved the first faceoff between Jericho and Punk. The rest was just fast-forward worthy.
As I write this, I am watching Elmo’s World. I am a good father and that is what a good father does. She has been since put to bed. Now I am watching 2 Broke Girls wondering what will come next to the wrestling fans. Last week, we had one of the best endings to Raw since Punk’s “The Promo.” Now it’s time to see how the WWE will follow up with it.
Raw began with Punk doing what he does best. Sitting cross-legged in the ring with a microphone in his hand. He said that he wanted to hear Johnny Ace say all the things to Punk’s face. Then John Cena came out and said he wanted Kane tonight and Ryder to get his rematch. Cena had some great fire and intensity. This is the hardest thing I have ever had to admit. But I am beginning not to hate Johnny Ace as a character.
The first match was John Cena & CM Punk vs. Dolph Ziggler & Jack Swagger. It was a really decent match. You had the face in peril and then Ziggler won via a handful of tights.
Chris Jericho played with the crowd. This is one of the best new things about Raw.
Mick Foley gave Zack Ryder a pep talk and Cena offered Ryder his back. Ryder said he wanted to do this on his own. Ryder took quite the beating. If you want to see this match done much better, click here and watch Icarus vs. Gregory Iron. It was a great moment for Ryder. Kane is over like a monster, and Ryder got lots of sympathy for it. Ryder got a lot of chants in the show. As they were putting Ryder in the ambulance, Eve Torres auditions to be the worst human being ever by telling Cena this was all his fault. But the winner was Josh Matthews who tried to interview John Cena. John Cena gave his angry face at the camera which looked like a Vince snarl.
Sheamus wrestled Jinder Mahal. I would like Mahal to never appear on my tv. They’re building up the Royal Rumble.
Miz and Truth are wrestling tonight. Do they understand what it means to wait for something for a PPV?
Brodus Clay killed Heath Slater.
Miz and Truth wrestled a good match I didn’t want to see because they should be waiting for a PPV.
Johnny Ace is told his job is going to be evaluated by Triple H. Surprise, surprise. Ace didn’t wrestle. It was Otunga, whom Punk killed faster than I mute the tv when Jennifer Hudson’s commercials come on.
Another good Raw tonight. I really liked the build-up towards the PPV. The Punk-Ace stuff is evolving into good. Clay continues to be a great new gimmick and surprise. This has been a pretty solid Raw.
Well, tonight’s Raw has been built around a return. There are rumors that Chris Jericho has been spotted at the Memphis airport. So have Undertaker and Michelle McCool. Rumors are flying around about Brock Lesnar. I think everybody has been spotted except Chyna. So tonight begins Raw.
We start if off with a video package. And then John Cena starts off Raw. Any buzz I had for Raw was killed the moment Cena’s music hit. My daughter was still up and the minute she saw John Cena, she reached for the remote. I cannot make this up. So John Cena cut an ok promo on how fans can chant whatever they want. He’s going to keep on being John Cena. Then Kane does the same s*** he always does and we get pyro.
Daniel Bryan is introduced and the crowd doesn’t even come close to reacting for him. This was a pretty decent match. We got to watch Cody show off his skills as a mat technician. Bryan did get some chants. But would he have without Cody? It was a really short good match. Bryan won and then went over and celebrated with the crowd. The only thing is that it was kind of really excessive.
Johnny Ace recapped all the stuff with Miz. We get Miz and Sheamus. And then he called Miz a lame duck. Then they showed Miz walking away throwing a temper tantrum. And then R-Truth mocked a duck. Congratulations, WWE. You just killed R-Truth.
They showed recaps of all the Wade Barrett stuff. And he was interrupted by Santino Marella of all people. Sure enough, Wade killed him. The best part was the Speed references. R-Truth is now stalking the Miz.
Miz came out full of fire. And then Sheamus beat the sternum off of Miz. Miz tried running away. Then R-Truth was out in the crowd. R-Truth’s voices are now Little Jimmies. And then he beat up Miz with the Water Bottle of Doom. I feel really bad for Miz having to sell that. Then R-Truth found a kid and had him say something. I liked the segment. I just want to see more from what R-Truth is given to say.
Dolph Ziggler cuts a nice short promo.
Zack Ryder is trying to flirt with Eve Torres. Then Jack Swagger tries to talk trash. Ryder sounded sooooooo stupid. Then Johnny Ace makes a 6-man tag. So now Punk isn’t even going to be the main event? WWE, listen to what I say very closely. F*** you.
I really liked the feel of the Punk/Ziggler match. It felt exactly like a main event should be. Too bad it wasn’t one. It was a good match with lots of near-falls. Johnny Ace interfered and there was a countout. Ziggler won and then ran away with the belt. He didn’t win the belt.
The Bellas came out looking really smoking hot. We then got Kelly and Eve vs. Bellas. The Bellas won. It was pretty decent for usual divas matches.
Punk delivered a promo where he was going to beat Johnny Ace “like a bitch.” Ooh, they said the word “bitch.” Let me know when Punk drops a pipebomb.
Then they revealed the return of Chris Jericho. It was a pretty awesome moment. He looked genuinely happy and enthusiastic to be out there. It was the kind of reaction Hogan thinks he gets. He played with the crowd for a little bit and then went to the back.
The main event was such a non-event. At least Cena and Ryder had the advantage. The only good part was Kane attacking Ryder afterwards and then laying out Cena and Ryder some more. Kane was about to suck Ryder into the abyss when Cena pulled him out at the end. Cheesy, but it IS a TVPG product.
This was a pretty decent Raw. I’m close to calling it good, but we’re not quite there. I had things I liked: Ziggler’s promo, Bryan-Rhodes and Miz. There were some things I didn’t like: Cena in the main event, the Ziggler-Punk finish (not because of the countout but because Ziggler acted like he had won the belt) and opening it with a video package.
There were some nice questions to be asked here and all of them are WTF’s revolving around Jericho. And that is as it should be. Now we have a reason to come back.
Happy Boxing Day to you and yours. My wife made my grandmother’s recipe of macaroni and cheese tonight, so I am a very happy man. I am also coming off my post-Christmas holiday. I spent today watching the King of the Deathmatch Tournament from IWA-MidSouth II from 2011. I will simply say that I have never called anything garbage wrestling, but that was it. There were some good names there like MASADA & BJ Whitmer, but it was pretty awful. They had the stereo-typical “gay” character who set wrestling back 20 years. The announcer did nothing but imitate Joey Styles and even used insider terms. And they had no idea of the progression of matches. Every match was so hardcore, by the time you got to the main event, there was no “Holy s***, this is the main event” moment. Sometimes, you watch a promotion and think, “Hm, I’d like to see them again.” This was so bad, I don’t think I’ll be getting this year’s KOTDM Tournament.
But enough of a retread. They opened up in Chicago (in CM Punk’s hometown) with CM Punk’s music. Out came Johnny Ace dressed in CM Punk’s outfit. He tried to make a guantlet match featuring CM Punk. Then Punk tried to get Ace to accept a match with him. Groan… Punk was just missing something. Really can’t put my finger on it.
Booker T is wrestling Cody Rhodes. Again. I ended up not seeing TLC, but wasn’t I just supposed to pay money for this? It just seems like we’re getting the same matches over and over and over again. They are not squash matches if the loser looks like they have a chance of winning. The WWE product is so repetitive that there’s no newness to their matches. Booker T won. As glad as I am to see him win, why did we have to watch that?
Zack Ryder is thanking John Cena. All along Zack Ryder had it in himself.
Kelly Kelly and Big Show are hawking an app of some kind. Then Scotty Armstrong tells Big Show that Johnny Ace needs him now!
So Big Show punched David Otunga on Smackdown. Then Show said he could beat Otunga with one hand tied behind his back. I guess they are watching old nWo footage. Now Dolph and Swagger are arguing. It was pretty fun until the Planet of the Apes comment. That just sounded so 10-year-old on the playground. Ugh, just soooooooo bad.
Eve an Zack Ryder come out to the ring. They seemed to get pretty decent crowd reactions. Then there was Tyson Kidd and Nattie Neidhart. It was actually not too bad of a match. I think the referee fell out of the ring as he was making the 3rd count. How botchariffic.
Cena came out and cut a really forced promo praising the city of Chicago. He called out Kane and got The Miz. Miz wanted Cena. Cena accepted. A few minutes into the match, Miz couldn’t handle that people weren’t chanting for him. So he cuts a promo on Chicago and gets counted out. Are you f***ing kidding me? As he’s done, we get the R-Truth return. I really liked his return.
We were saved from the retro nWo match by Big Show. It was short and painless. Mark Henry came out. Daniel Bryan came out. Then it was just Big Show and David Otunga in the ring. He channeled The Giant of old and did a chokeslam like he’d just joined the nWo all over again.
Then Alberto Del Rio came out in a wheelchair. He told us all that he had a torn groin. Then the fans laughed. Classy. Then the Bellas got to fight over who could throw a party to help him recover. Awful.
Swagger jobbed first. Then he attacked Punk to wear him down for Ziggler. I liked Punk and Ziggler’s work. Ace stopped the match, distracted Punk and then Ziggler pinned Punk. What a good opportunity for Ziggler. No hate over getting to watch those two. Just that I watched this match not too long ago.
AAA’s El Zorro Kane is walking to the ring. He starts explaining and Cena’s music hit. Kane cut a very nice promo explaining why he attacked Cena. He wanted Cena to give in to the hate. I thought Kane delivered his lines very well. I just felt like I was watching Empire Strikes Back.
Overall, I’d have to say this was an awful Raw. There was nothing that got my attention for this show. The most exciting thing was R-Truth’s return. Remember yesterday when the Mavericks stunk up their home court? Let’s say the fans start booing Dirk. Does he get on the mic and ask how dare they boo him? That’s what we got with the Miz. It was uninspired, outright insulting and nothing worth seeing.
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The fun doesn’t stop because RAW is over, no sir! WWE.com awarded even more Slammys – let’s roll!
Note: I’m not sure at this point whether these actually count or not. We’re going to pretend they do.
Outstanding Achievement in Muppet Resemblance: Sheamus and Beaker.
If these count, this is Sheamus’s third Slammy. His previous wins in 2009 for “Breakout Star of the year” and in 2010 for “Superstar/Diva most in need of makeup.”
The Pee-Wee Herman Bow Tie Award: David Otunga.
This is David Otunga’s first solo Slammy. He won as part of Nexus for the 2010 Shocker of the Year for the group’s debut.
Most Predictable Outcome of the Year: Kevin Nash jackknifing Santino
This is Kevin Nash’s first Slammy.
Guess Who’s Back? Or: Return of the Year: The Rock
This would be The Rock’s third, winning the Slammy in 1997 for New Sensation, and earlier tonight for “Game Changer of the Year” with John Cena.
Double Vision Moment of the Year: The Two Sin Caras
This is the first Slammy for both Sin Cara and Hunico.
T-Shirt of the Year: CM Punk’s “Best in the World” t-shirt, of course. Half the BWF crew owns one!
Punk’s 6th Slammy. He won the 2008 OMG Moment for cashing in Money In The Bank, 2009 Shocker of the Year for beating Jeff Hardy and sending him packing, the 2010 Despicable Me award for singing Happy Birthday to Rey Mysterio’s daughter, and earlier tonight the 2011 Pipe Bomb of the Year and Superstar of the Year awards.
WWE.com Exclusive of the Year: John Laurinaitis congratulating CM Punk.
This is Laurinaitis first actual award.
Most Regrettable Ring Attire of the Year: Michael Cole in Triple H’s clothing.
This is Michael Cole’s third Slammy. His previous wins are the 2009 “Oh My” Moment of the Year for throwing up on Chris Jericho, and the 2010 “And I Quote” line of the year.
Critter Moment of the Year: The mouse that ran by Alberto Del Rio on RAW. Seriously.
Well, Justin Ruff may not be an awards show kind of guy, but I absolutely LOVE the Slammys! Luckily, I happened to have written a half-assed recap of RAW to use as reference for next Sunday’s episode of BWF Radio, so I’ll add to it a little and use it as this week’s RAW review!
We kick things off with the “Tell Me I Didn’t Just See That Moment of the Year” award, presented by Booker T and Hornswoggle. The nominees are:
Jim Ross winning the dance contest portion of the “Michael Cole Challenge.”
Santino Marella nearly winning the Royal Rumble
The Miz disguised as The Rock attacking John Cena
R-Truth getting okie-doked by Little Jimmy
The Slammy goes to: Jim Ross! Michael Cole interrupts JR’s acceptance speech, which leads to a battle rap between the two. JR flubs his lines but still manages to win. Before he leaves, Booker T convinces him to do a “JR-Roonie.”
This is Jim Ross’s first Slammy!
Mick Foley and “The Million Dollar Man” Ted DiBiase present the “Holy !@#$ Moment of the Year” award. Mick wonders why Ted DiBiase is presenting the award with him. DiBiase says it’s because he’s an ordained minister. So he’s the “Holy” part. The nominees are:
Sheamus puts Sin Cara through a ladder at Money In The Bank
Randy Orton RKO’s Christian out of the air and onto the steps at SummerSlam
Evan Bourne hits “Air Bourne” on all of the other Money In The Bank participants at Money In The Bank
Mark Henry and The Big Show break the ring at Vengeance
And the winner is: The Big Show and Mark Henry. Big Show accepts the award, then heads down to the ring for his match.
This is Big Show’s second Slammy. He won the award for Tag Team of the Year in 2009 as part of Jeri-Show. This is Mark Henry’s first Slammy.
The Big Show def. Wade Barrett via Disqualification – Barrett cut a promo on the way to the ring. He tried to use a chair, but Big Show punched it out of his hand.
The Road Dogg Jesse James (yes, you read that right) presents the award for “Pipe Bomb of the Year.” Instead of actual nominees in the category, various sound clips (mostly bloopers) are played. The winner, of course, is CM Punk, who comes to the podium with a mannequin in a Dynamic Dudes t-shirt and dedicates the win to John Laurinaitis. Punk then plays a video package of Laurinaitis’ career that says “Lifetime Achievement Award” at the end. It was set to “The Touch,” which, if you’re a dork like me, you’ll remember as the theme song from the 1986 animated classic, “Transformers The Movie.”
This is Punk’s fourth Slammy – he’s previously won the 2008 OMG Moment award for cashing in his Money In The Bank contract on Edge, the 2009 Shocker of the Year award for forcing Jeff Hardy to leave WWE, and the 2010 Despicable Me award for singing Happy Birthday to Rey Mysterio’s daughter.
Here to present our next award… it’s LITA! She’s here to present the “Divalicious Moment of the Year” award. The nominees are:
Natalya puts Layla and Eve in the Sharpshooter at the same time
Kelly Kelly wins the Divas Championship
Kharma debuts at Extreme Rules
Beth Phoenix gives Eve a Glam Slam from the top rope at Survivor Series
And the winner is: Kelly Kelly. Beth Phoenix comes out, steals the Slammy, and proclaims herself Diva of the Year, but Kelly slaps her and takes it back.
This is Kelly Kelly’s first Slammy!
Santino Marella and the Bella Twins present the award for “OMG Moment of the Year.” The nominees are:
Triple H tombstones The Undertaker at WrestleMania XXVII
The Rock Rock Bottoms John Cena at WrestleMania XXVII
The WWE Superstars walk out on Triple H
CM Punk wins the WWE Championship and walks out on WWE
And the winner is: Triple H! Hunter heads straight to the ring and cuts a promo on Kevin Nash. He scares Santino away at the top of the ramp.
This is Triple H’s second Slammy. He won the award for “Best Hair” in 1997.
David Otunga and Tony Atlas present the award for “Trending Superstar of the Year.” Otunga explains, while Tony Atlas laughs the whole time, that the four nominees will wrestle in a Fatal Four Way Match. While the match is going on, the first one of the four to trend on Twitter will win the award, which will be presented after the match. The nominees – and participants in the next match – are:
Cody Rhodes
Zack Ryder
Daniel Bryan
Dolph Ziggler
Dolph Ziggler def. Daniel Bryan, Cody Rhodes, and Zack Ryder in a Fatal Four Way Match. This match is a must-watch. Hell of a battle between these four, and they gave it a lot of time. In the end it was Ziggler hitting a Zig Zag on Daniel Bryan to pick up the hard fought victory. However…
Jerry “The King” Lawler enters the ring and announces that the winner of “Trending Superstar of the Year” is, of course, Zack Ryder. Ryder gets his Slammy, but Ziggler hits him with a Zig Zag and walked away with the trophy.
This is Zack Ryder’s second Slammy. He won the 2010 “Most Annoying Catchphrase” Slammy for “Woo Woo Woo, You Know It.” My how times have changed.
Christian, on crutches and wearing a neck brace, presents the award for “Game Changer of the Year,” but not before calling himself the “Courageous Superstar of the Year” and blaming the WWE Universe for him not being in the running for “Superstar of the Year” later on tonight. The nominees are:
Vince McMahon removed from power
Edge retires
The Rock and John Cena set a date for WrestleMania 28
Kevin Nash returns at SummerSlam
And the winner is: The Rock and John Cena. Cena accepts the award and says it’s a two person award. He introduces The Rock, who doesn’t come out. Cena says that we have him via satellite. We don’t. Cena says he’s saying these things to make the Rock that much more motivated to put boots to asses.
This is John Cena’s 4th Slammy. He’s won the 2009 and 2010 Superstar Of The Year awards, and the 2010 Holy !@#$ Moment for putting Batista through the stage with an Attitude Adjustment.
The Miz & Alberto Del Rio def. CM Punk & Randy Orton – The Miz and Alberto Del Rio won by keeping Punk away from Orton. Orton was eventually pulled off the apron by Wade Barrett, leaving Punk alone, and the numbers game caught up with him. After the match, Orton took off looking for Barrett, while The Miz and Del Rio assaulted Punk with a ladder. Del Rio locked the Cross Armbreaker in on Punk through the rungs of the ladder while Miz stated that no matter what happens, Punk won’t walk out of TLC with the WWE Championship.
We get another “Kane Resurrected” Promo
Vickie Guerrero and Goldust present “WWE A-Lister Of The Year.” The nominees are:
The Muppets
Snooki
Cee-Lo Green
Hugh Jackman
And the winner is: Snooki, who accepts via pre-recorded message. She wishes Zack Ryder luck at TLC and gives a “Woo Woo Woo, You Know It.”
I’m sure it goes without saying that this is Snooki’s first, and probably only, Slammy.
Matt Striker interviews Mark Henry backstage, who is looking to induct John Cena into the Hall of Pain tonight.
Sheamus heads to the ring for action. His opponent is scheduled to be Jinder Mahal, but as he’s talking trash when he gets in the ring, Sheamus nails the Brogue Kick and leaves.
Rey Mysterio presents “Superstar of the Year.” The nominees are:
John Cena
Alberto Del Rio
Mark Henry
CM Punk
Randy Orton
The Miz
And the winner is: CM Punk, with his second victory of the night. John Laurinaitis says Punk is in no condition to accept, so he accepts on Punk’s behalf.
This is Punk’s 2nd Slammy tonight and his 5th overall win.
Mark Henry walking backstage is cut off by the newest cryptic video.
John Cena vs. Mark Henry ends in a no contest when Kane returns! Wearing a hard black mask when he gets to the ring, he chokeslams John Cena! He sets off his pyro and removes the black mask, only to reveal that he’s returned to wearing a half mask and having long hair.
My thoughts: Quick thoughts, of course. I need stuff for the podcast, after all. I’m glad to see Kane back, and back to his old look. Maybe we’ll get the Big Red Monster back! And yes folks, all the stats I added in about the Slammys are 100% correct. I did my research!
Sources are now saying WWE is working on their network and is planning on launching it the day of Wrestlemania. So if you think Twitter, has been pushed down our throats, get ready. You have seen nothing yet.
Last night, I got to finish my first Dragon Gate USA match and had my life irrevocably changed. Something tells me things are going to seem worse because I have watched a match that will now be in my top 20 of all time. I also had the chance to see a really fun MPX show this weekend, so I’m still reeling off that. Maybe tonight I will watch wrestling as a diversion, which is exactly what it should be. If it’s painful, I may find myself going on Twitter and mocking it with my “tweeps.” Sometimes that makes it more entertaining than the show itself. I guess it’s because I do love wrestling so much that I want WWE to succeed and be good.
Sorry for my rant. Here is Monday Night Raw.
We start off with John Cena. The crowd is pretty mixed for him. Cena cut a pretty decent promo. And then we had Alberto Del Rio interrupt him. And then Cena went into 10-year-old-kid at the playground mode. Alberto Del Rio have footage of why he deserved a title shot. Then Vickie Guerrero interrupted the promo. Dolph Ziggler is in the main event mix? Cena tried to have a certain edge in his promo. It just sounded like a 10-year-old trying to cuss. Then the Miz came out. I hate to say this, but Miz’ swagger showed that the other three were not on his level. I liked the edgier direction they took this promo. Then Johnny Ace took the mic and could barely remember his lines. Then Ace set up Miz-Randy Orton.
Randy Orton vs. Miz was a pretty decent match. It had a good intensity. Wade Barrett came out and distracted Orton when Miz slithered back into the ring to get the win by countout. Made Miz look good without Orton losing. I’m liking Orton’s work, which is a compliment since I don’t really like him. I’m also liking the Orton-Barrett feud.
Zack Ryder is talking to Johnny Ace about how great the WWE Network looks. I guess a human being wasn’t available. Then John Cena shows up shilling some merchandise. Johnny Ace makes a match. Zack Ryder vs. John Cena. Ryder gets a US title shot if he wins. Cena gets into the title match if he wins. Interesting.
David Otunga tells Kevin Nash he will face HHH in a ladder match with a sledgehammer. I think Viscera would have a better ladder match than Kevin Nash. And now Kevin Nash gets to destroy some upstart’s career.
We got Del Rio vs. Daniel Bryan. It wasn’t much of a match. Bryan was still coming off his rib injury so he was out to do the glorified job. I don’t think he lost too much.
We got Eve & Kelly Kelly vs. Beth Phoenix & Nattie. It is nice to know we haven’t seen that match before (<-sarcasm font). My wife heckled their work. That’s bad.
Then we got John Cena vs. Zack Ryder. I’m intrigued to see where this will go. John Cena beat him without killing him too badly. So the WWE is going to work on building John Cena by having him beat the most popular wrestler in the company.
John Cena had a lot of fire for his backstage promo with Johnny Ace. He gave up his title shot for Zack Ryder to get another chance. That is a good step in rebuilding John Cena.
Zack Ryder got Mark Henry. Ouch. Ryder sold like Shawn Michaels. Then John Cena comes out and does an Attitude Adjustment and has Ryder cover Henry. Strange. Ryder beat Henry but was not put over.
Nash walked down to the ring in record time. He killed Santino.
For the main event, I got Dolph Ziggler-Sheamus. Ryder interfered and Sheamus ended up getting the win. In some ways I think Dolph Ziggler is this generation’s Mr. Perfect. And that is NOT a name I use lightly.
Then there was a contract signing. CM Punk came out and cut some major promos. Miz has so much fire. The fans are rejecting Alberto Del Rio. Then there was some major battling that went on.
All in all… Pretty decent Raw. I like the edgy inside stuff. They seemed to be focused.
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And here we are… the fallout from the Survivor Series PPV on Sunday… yeah. A new Heavyweight Champion is crowned tonight? Really? Let’s hop to it, shall we?
Big props to Al Creed for sending this one my way, and what a better sentiment to represent the WWE’s current fetish?
It’s about that time of the year when we look at what we are thankful for. Yes, I know it’s cheesy, but I think it needs to be said. These are not in order of importance, just in an order of some kind.
1. CM Punk-He’s cut two of the greatest promos of the year. He cut a promo so good it made us think that wrestling had become real for a night. Plus, the night he shocked the wrestling world when the WWE champion appeared on an AAW show to put over competitor Gregory Iron (see #2). And how about the time period after Money in the Bank and before Summerslam? Has wrestling been that exciting in years? CM Punk was showing up at Wrigley Field, tweeting pictures of the title belt in the refrigerator, showing up at Comic conventions. It bled over into John Cena’s promos and Raw was exciting to watch again. Money in the Bank was still the top match the WWE has put together this year. He is the one sane person in the world of the insane. And he’s one of the few things that gives me hope for the future of the WWE.
2. Gregory Iron-The guy has cerebral palsy. Let me say that again. The guy has cerebral palsy. And he wrestles. This isn’t Eugene playing a retarded character. He is an actual handicapped wrestler. There is a documentary that will be coming out. Fox News did a feature on him. Now there is a petition to get him into the Royal Rumble! The guy has a legitimate shot at being in the WWE as a great story to be told. If you have never seen one of his matches, go to Youtube and search. You will be blown away.
3. Sheamus-I am a fan of Sheamus because he is pasty white. I’m pasty white. My body does not tan. I go out into the sun, my skin burns (“fries” is a better word), it peels off a day later and whiter than I was before. So having somebody like Sheamus in the public life makes me happy, rather than Hulk Hogan or George Hamilton. I am on Team Pasty White.
4. Air Boom-These are two of the best in-ring workers in the business. Evan Bourne has one of the happiest smiles in wrestling (and of course, after the wellness violation, we know why). Not only that, he’s one of the best at selling. And how do you not love Kofi Kingston? And as a tag team, these guys have great chemistry.
5. Mark Henry as champ-How many years did we sit through “Sexual Chocolate,” humping Mae Young, going on a date with Chyna? And now here is, a truly dominant, well-booked champ (for the WWE). I look forward to seeing him, and I had a genuinely emotional moment when he walked away the champ.
6. Ricardo Rodriguez-I’ve decided that if Ricardo Rodriguez would announce my arrival at work, I would be CEO. I haven’t decided whether it’s the perfect hair, the tuxedo or the majestic voice. But not only that, he makes a great manager/lackey.
7. MPX-This is my local wrestling promotion. At first they started out as nothing, but it has been awesome to watch them mature into a hotbed. There’s Kenny Steele, a heel who could be on the cusp of greatness. Cash & Carry, one of the top upcoming tag teams in the Texas scene. Seph Annunaki, who could be a match or two away from being a huge name in Texas. $Payday$ who is our version of Kofi Kingston. Ben Wylde, fellow member of Team Pasty White. Headbanger who is already cementing himself as a mainstay in promotions all over Texas. Great veterans like Kristopher Haiden, Carrion Arcane, Matt Palmer (!). Plus, I love the family atmosphere and saying hi to everybody.
8. Lance Hoyt-I say that name, but it stands for all the guys (and girls) who like to give back. For a company that started pretty lowly, guys (and girls) like Lance Hoyt, Mike Foxx, SHIMMER’S Athena have helped build it up. Lance Hoyt came in, loved it AND returned. Now there’s talks of him bringing other big names.
9. Ring of Honor-How do I BEGIN to describe what I love about Ring of Honor? Shelton Benjamin doesn’t have a low-rent comedienne playing his mother. Charlie Haas gets to be Charlie Haas. Homicide, Jay Lethal, Davey Richards, El Generico, Tommaso Ciampa, Grizzly Redwood. It gives me something to look forward to every few months or so. And now there’s a weekly tv show!
10. Chikara-So the WWE’s problem is that they make a TV-PG product. Right? Chikara has a G-rated product. And their product is infinitely more watchable than the WWE’s product. You have names like Eddie Kingston, Mike Quackenbush, The Colony, BDK. You have great action, long matches, a devoted crowd and a lot of passion.
11. SHIMMER-Have you ever watched a Bella Twins match and prayed that God would take you now? You know, the “I-Don’t-Want-to-Live-in-a-World-Where-The-Bellas-Are-Considered-Entertainment” feeling. About a month ago, I discovered SHIMMER. I watched SHIMMER VOL. 1 and was completely blown away by the matches I saw. I know I’m only on Vol. 2, but I’m excited to see where women’s wrestling goes from here.
12. Sara Del Rey-This is for all the women’s wrestlers. Del Rey is one of my favorite workers, male or female. And there are a lot of great women’s wrestlers out there who are not WWE Divas. These are the Del Reys and Cherry Bombs and Jessicka Havocs and Mickie Knuckleses and Athenas and Portia Perezes that give daddies of little girls somebody they can watch with their daughters.
13. AIW-I remember asking what promotion I should try on Twitter. AIW (who follows me) recommended I buy Absolution VI or Girl’s Night Out IV. I bought Absolution and was so blown away by this wrestling, whether it was the atmosphere, the devotion of the fans, the Rickey Shane Page/Vincent Nothing match, Josh Prohibition/Greg Iron match (my first time to see an Iron match), Tim F’ing Donst. I was hooked and a fan for life.
14. All the wrestlers-All the boys who go out and give everything for the fans in the crowd. You can always tell those who have the passion and those who give everything for the fans every time. I know it’s been done, but… “It’s still real to me, damnit.”
15. AJ Lee & Alicia Fox-Just for existing. I know I said something about how much I love SHIMMER because of the hard-working women who aren’t sex objects. But I gotta admit. Those two are just breath-takingly beautiful and it makes me happy whenever I get to see them.
16. Sites I get to write for. I love writing and I love wrestling. So it’s a given that one of my favorite things on Earth would be writing about wrestling. I am very proud to be part of very awesome teams no matter where I write. I also want to thank my fellow co-writers, who I feel very lucky to even consider some my friends.
http://bigbadsportsdaddy.com/
http://boredwrestlingfan.com/
http://wonderpodonline.com/
http://www.pwponderings.com/
17. Wings in Euless-Somehow I was discovered by www.bigbadsportsdaddy.com. I started doing a Saturday MMA column for them. Then after their Raw blogger was future endeavored, I was given the role. Ever since February, they have let me join them in a live broadcast. It’s now one of the favorite parts of my month. I love getting to hang out with the guys like Larry, John & Eric and getting to see all the variety of people: Drew and Chelsea, Zero, Carlos and their crew, the MPX guys. It makes me happy knowing that we will all get to experience the new PPV together.
What are yours? What are you thankful for in wrestling?
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