Holy technical difficulties, Batman! We were unable to broadcast this show live because the only thing working on the studio computer was Skype. Our scheduled guest, Gregory Iron, was unable to make this week’s show and had to reschedule. But we pressed on and managed to record an episode anyway! Joe, JT, G, and Mark talk briefly about the week in pro wrestling, including our disgust for yet another Cena/Orton main event on a Pay-Per-View coming up at Hell In A Cell.
In the news, frequent BWF Radio guest Gary Barnidge appears on Total Divas, Team 3D has options of where to go now that they are officially gone from TNA, and TNA doesn’t have any events scheduled through the end of the year. Justin Roberts gets his release. WWE Network gets ads. Randy Orton gets Vined, and Mexican Fans can tell the difference between Sin Cara and Mistico. All this and more on BWF Radio 148!
First things first. Happy Memorial Day, and a thank you to those who have made that ultimate sacrifice to allow guys like me to sit here and talk about whatever the hell they want to on the internet. Second, happy 3rd Anniversary to my beautiful wife, Mrs. ThinkSoJoE. Third, happy birthday to my friend and BWF Radio co-host Mark Noyce. Now that the formalities are out of the way, let’s get this 3 hour show out of the way. This is one of those “I don’t feel like watching this show” nights. So we’re going to skip through it and give you basically what you need to know to follow the current storylines. Sound good? Let’s go.
I watch 30 minutes, leave, then watch the whole show from the beginning, just so you don’t have to. Maybe that’s why ratings are slumping?
It’s the last stop on the road to the last ever Pay Per View us folks in the US will ever have to spend $54.95 on. The WWE Network premieres next Monday, but let’s see what the WWE have in store for us before we get there, shall we? Let’s roll!
I watch 30 minutes. I leave. Then I have to sit through this show a week later. Maybe next week I won’t have to watch it by nefarious means once I get to work. Time will tell.
So, you guys know the deal – I usually watch 30 minutes of RAW, leave for work, and review the rest of this show in real time as I watch it. Well, due to inclement weather here in Buffalo, I find myself sitting at home right now, having watched all but 30 minutes of RAW. I went out to catch my bus to work, but although the local bus company insists that their buses were all running on time today, mine never showed up. At the time I left, it was 11 degrees Fahrenheit with a wind chill of -20. As I type this, it’s 1 with a wind chill of -32. So, if you can’t tell, IT’S FUCKING COLD OUTSIDE! So, I called my boss, told him I couldn’t make it in, then came home and watched the rest of Old School RAW. Afterward, I did some DDP Yoga, so I’m here now to actually review the whole show. Let’s go!
I watch 30 minutes of RAW, freeze my ass off waiting for a bus that never shows up, and then come home and watch the rest of RAW. That’s how this particular RAW review works. It’s only getting colder!
I’m in a great mood and having a great night. First the Buffalo Sabres win a game by shooting the puck down the pants of Phoenix Coyotes’ goaltender Mike Smith – literally. Then my 49ers clinch a playoff spot by defeating the Atlanta Falcons. Then I got to hang out with Jorge for a few as he dropped off a brand new copy of Kick-Ass on BluRay, replacing my lost DVD copy. But now, I have to watch RAW. CHRISTMAS RAW. These are NEVER good. EVER. And the little bit I saw before I left for work isn’t exactly filling me with hope for this particular edition. So, despite my better judgment, let’s go.
I watch three hours of this crap so you can read it and pick what you think might be interesting to watch on the DVR later. I should get paid for this. It’s a terrible job sometimes.
To think, this is where it all started, just over five years ago, as I demanded to know where my cut of Vince McMahon’s money was. Yes, the first real article was about an episode of RAW where you could “Win Vince McMahon’s Money.” Remember that? Seemed like longer ago that all that happened, but it seems like yesterday that I launched this site. Here I am five years later, and we’re talking about RAW and Vince McMahon again. Let’s go!
I watch 30 minutes of RAW, leave for work, avoid spoilers like (and from) the plague, and then watch the entire show when I get here. That’s how ThinkSoJoE’s RAW reviews work. Also, I play by my own rules. Screw you, SmackDown review!
We start with the recap of last week. Cena announces his challenge for the WWE title and gets beat down by the Shield, along with Ryback and Sheamus. Vince catches Paul Heyman in his lie and gets F5’d by Brock Lesnar before he can fire Heyman.
We open with C.M. Punk walking down to the ring, he walks up to a young fan and fakes giving him a “High-five” so he can snatch his “it’s my birthday” sign, and wreck it. Punk commanders a mike and orders Justin Roberts into the ring, forcing him to announce Punk as “The Peoples Champion.” He then denies over-reacting to his situation, clamming he acted the way anyone else would act…
“If you think I over-reacted… it’s clear to me you’ve never held anything as special as the WWE championship… in fact I doubt anyone in this building has ever done anything great in their entire life.” – C.M. Punk
Punk claims he was “screwed” and the title in its “physical form” stolen from him. He then addresses the video of Heyman with Maddox and the Shield from last week. He goes to fans in the front row, calling one “four eyes,” another “sweet-heart,” and asking Michael Cole if any of them saw him in the video. They each say no. Back in the ring, Punk compares Heymans claim that he wasn’t in the video, against Vince McMahon, who put HIS video on HIS Titan-tron on HIS television show…
“He is going to Doctor a video and he is going to play it on his television show, and all of you mindless, no-good, low down, fat, stupid, lazy people are gonna eat it up.” – C.M. Punk
Punk goes on to say Vince “deserved” to have his hip broken by Brock Lesnar, claiming it was Karma. Punk invites anyone to step up and try shut him up, promising to punch their face and toss them back on the side of the railing they belong. Punk continues his tirade until Smackdown GM Booker T, interrupts him. Booker has a miserable time trying to call Vicki “managing supervisor,” and informs him she allowed him to come out and decide Punk’s fate. Booker decides we can decide Punk’s opponent for tonight. We have to download the WWE app and vote for a “Wrestlemania Rematch.”
Our choices are…
Randy Orton
Rey Mysterio
Chris Jericho
Booker is out, and we go to Michael Cole giving us a tutorial on using the app. We’re promised an “epic announcement” about the hall of fame later tonight, and Ryback makes his entrance as we go to break.
Back from break, we get Randy Orton on WWE RAW-active, mentioning how perfect it would be to shut Punk up with an RKO, right here in Atlanta, the sight of his Wrestlemania victory over Punk.
WWE U.S. CHAMPION ANTONIO CESARO VS. RYBACK
Cesaro makes his way to the ring waving the U.S. flag, as Cole makes a quick mention of his Wrestlemania “streak.”
Cesaro starts off with an amateur style go-behind, Ryback muscles out and tosses Cesaro w/a fireman’s carry-like lift. Ryback pummels Cesaro in the corner, Cesaro fights back with a head-butt. Ryback gets a hip-toss, drops the leg across the face of Cesaro, and gets a two-count. Ryback scoops him up and hangs him in a “tree-of-woe” position in the corner. Ryback stomps him for a few moments until the ref orders a break, and Cesaro rolls outside the ring. Ryback goes out and tosses Cesaro back in. Cesaro catches Ryback with a stomp to the head, and continues stomping. Cesaro picks Ryback up and hits a short-knee, European upper-cut, and a whip into the ropes. Ryback reverses it and hits a Thez-press. Ryback bounces Cesaro off the mat a few times and hoists him up by the head, tossing him into a corner. Ryback charges, Cesaro moves, Ryback hits the corner and Cesaro hits a clothesline to the back. Both men are down as we go to break.
Back from break, Cesaro has a headlock but Ryback shoots him into the ropes and takes him down hard just by standing there. He hits a few clotheslines then hoists Cesaro up, and plants him down (D-Lo Brown style.) Cesaro rolls out and walks off. Ryback goes after him, hits a clothesline to the back. Shot to the face by Ryback, and he rolls Cesaro into the ring. Cesaro catches Ryback by the head and drops down, pulling Ryback neck-first into the rope. Sliding kick to the leg by Cesaro and Ryback meets the edge of the ring with his face. Cesaro, on the outside sends Ryback into the post, then into the stairs. Ryback just beats the ten-count back into the ring. Cesaro pummels Ryback in the corner, the holding Ryback by the head, goes up on the top rope, plants his knee on Ryback’s shoulder, and shoves off, driving Ryback backwards into the matt with his knee on Ryback’s face. Cesaro gets a one-count. Cesaro charges in, but meets a knee-lift, an elbow, and takes a huge back-body drop, followed by a “Meat-hook” clothesline. Cesaro tries to escape through the crowd. Ryback catches him and puts him back in the ring. Cesaro hits a huge boot to the face, but Ryback catches him by the leg when he tries a second time. Ryback hits a Power-bomb and the “Shell-shock” for the pin.
WINNER: RYBACK
We get another plug for the app as we’re reminded we can choose Punk’s opponent for his Wrestlemania rematch. We go back to last week to see John Cena challenge for the WWE championship, and get beat down by the Shield. Sheamus runs in, and gets beat down. Ryback runs in, and gets beat down. We take a special look at the Shield, when we come back.
Back from break, we see Chilli from hip hop R&B group TLC in the crowd tonight. We then see Rey Mysterio on “WWE Active” doing a promo w/Matt Stryker, saying he should face Punk because he’s the only one who’s ever taken his hair. We then get a video package on the Shield, including a montage of beat downs on WWE superstars. We go backstage where Vicki Guerro is with Cena. She’s heard about his plan to confront the Shield tonight, and compares it to the movie “Death Wish.” Cena reminds her he won the Royal Rumble, he’s going to Wrestlemania, and the Shield needs to be stopped tonight.
We get another look at the video package for Trish Stratus, going into the HOF, and are reminded of the “epic announcement” later tonight, as we go to break.
We’re back, and this time it’s Jericho on WWE Active, saying it’s our second chance to see who the best in the world is.
Santino Morella hits the ring and Booker T joins Cole and Lawler at ringside, followed by the “Real American” Jack Swagger.
JACK SWAGGER VS SANTINO MORELLA
We start with a lock up, and Swagger puts Morella down hard. Swagger takes him back into the ropes and hits a knee. Swagger whips Santino into the ropes and Santino starts his “power-walking” bit, but Swagger kills it with a knee, followed by a tackle to the leg. Swagger pummels Santino in the corner but misses a charge. Morella ducks a big right and hits some punches. Swagger blocks a hip toss, but Morella ducks the clothesline and hits a few rights. Santino tries a whip, but Swagger no-sells, knees Santino, hits the Swagger-Bomb, and the “Patriot Act,” for the win. (Patriot Act = Ankle lock.)
We’re reminded of our chance to vote for Punk’s opponent as we go to break.
We come back with a promo for Wrestlemania, and we get an apology from the WWE. Apparently, so many people voted, the system crashed.
WHC Alberto Del Rio makes his entrance as we get a recap of his feud w/Big Show, starting with the attack on RAW and ending with the attack on Ricardo Rodriguez on Smackdown
WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION ALBERTO DEL RIO VS CODY RHODES
Cody comes in strong with a flurry of punches and an Irish whip into the corner, Del Rio meets him with an elbow, and goes up top in the corner, catches Cody behind the head w/his feet and takes him down w/a Lucha style head-scissors, followed by body-drop and a kick to the back. Cody slaps Del Rio in the face, Del Rio responds by pummeling him in the corner and with an Inziguri to the shoulder for two. Cody throws a wide-kick to the leg that stops Del Rio. Cody gives Del Rio the knee-breaker, and takes over, stomping Del Rio into the corner. Cody hits a head-butt but misses a charge. Del Rio hits a clothesline, a tilt-a-whirl back-breaker, and a thrust-kick to the face for a two-count. Del Rio gets a “Si” chant going; signaling for the arm-breaker, but Cody shoves him off and hits the “Beautiful Disaster” kick off the second rope for two. Cody charges in, Del Rio hooks the arm-breaker, (not smoothly,) and gets the submission.
WINNER: WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION ALBERTO DEL RIO
Alberto gets the mike and apologizes for all the time he spent looking down on us. He calls Big Show a “bully” and a “Monster,” and promises the Big Show will pay for what he did to Ricardo Rodriguez, and he will be a champion for everyone who works to put food on the table.
Big Show comes up on the Tron, challenging Del Rio for a rematch for the title, from a hotel room in an undisclosed location. He says he’s staying away to protect Del Rio from his rage, and has Booker sending him the contract. Show warns Del Rio that if he tries to find him, or shows up here, Show will give him a worse beating than the one he gave Ricardo.
Jerry Lawler overcomes a few flubbed lines to announce Chris Jericho as the winner of the RAW Active poll, and C.M. Punk’s opponent tonight.
And we go to break.
We come back with a recap of team Rey/Cara defeating team Hell No (Bryan/Kane) in a non-title match on the last Smackdown.
Backstage, we see Daniel Bryan up in Kane’s face, blaming him for the loss. Kane accuses Bryan of not being able to take care of himself. Bryan says he’ll do just that in his match tonight, and tells Kane to stay backstage, so as not to ruin his chances at getting a spot in the Elimination Chamber. Kane says “fine.”
REY MYSTERIO VS WWE TAG TEAM CHAMPION DANIEL BRYAN
They lock up. Bryan hits a knee, a snap-mare, and a kick to the back. Bryan hits another kick and gets three consecutive one-counts. Mysterio bridges up, catches Bryan on his feet. Bryan pulls him up, Mysterio hooks a body-scissors, into an arm-drag, hits a dropkick, and knees to Bryan’s face. Bryan pushes him off, Mysterio ducks a clothesline and goes for a head scissors, but Bryan drops Mysterio chest-first into his knees. Bryan gets a two-count, a stomp, and a wrist-lock/arm-bar. Mysterio grabs the top rope and flips out. Mysterio hits some fore-arm shots, Bryan hits an elbow. Bryan sends Mysterio up over the top rope, but Mysterio holds on, and hits a shoulder-block to the stomach. Mysterio goes to the top rope but Bryan takes out the leg, and Mysterio is in the “tree of woe” position. Bryan hits some short shoulder-blocks, but misses a charge and goes shoulder first into the post. Bryan on the outside and both men down as we go to break.
We come back with Bryan controlling the arm of Mysterio. Mysterio hits a few fore-arms, but Bryan takes him down in a German suplex, bends the arm, pinning the palm to the matt, and stomping the up-raised elbow. Bryan works the arm and tosses Rey out of the ring. Rey rolls up on his feet, but Bryan meets him with the dropkick. Bryan tries to dive into Mysterio but meets a fore-arm. Mysterio hits a dive off the top rope, hits two head-scissors, rolling through a sunset-flip attempt on the second, and hits a kick to the head for a two-count. Bryan blocks a “619” attempt, Mysterio rolls out of an imperfect “No-lock” and hits it on the second attempt. Bryan dodges a “drop of the dime” and locks in the “No-Lock” for the tap.
WINNER: DANIEL BRYAN
As Bryan celebrates, MARK HENRY MAKES HIS COMEBACK! Henry meets Bryan on the way to the ring and takes him out with no problem. Henry hits a “spine-buster” on Rey. Sin Cara tries to save Rey, but takes “the World’s Strongest Slam.” Rey is up and fights back, but ends up taking a WSS and a splash off the middle rope. Henry walks off, jaw-jacking with the crowd.
Punk vs. Jericho, after the break
We come back to Bryan demanding an apology from Kane, for not helping him out with Henry.
“Daniel, I’m hurt by your tone. Word’s hurt, and there’s nothing more powerful than our friendship.” – Kane
“Do you mean that?” – Daniel Bryan
“HELL NO!” – KANE
After that, we get a recap of Vince busting Heyman, and Brock busting Vince’s hip.
(It goes on a LOT longer than it needs to.)
Later tonight, Heyman is on MizTV.
We go live to Big Show’s hotel room where he’s on the phone, waiting for the contract. He answers the door for room service and the waiter stands there waiting for a tip.
“Get a better job.” – Big Show
Sheamus makes his entrance and his match is up next, after the break.
We’re back, getting another recap of the Shield attack on Cena, Ryback, and Sheamus, as well as a reminder Cena calls them out later tonight.
SHEAMUS VS WWE TAG TEAM CHAMPION KANE
As the match begins, we’re told Daniel Bryan will be joining Randy Orton and Mysterio in the elimination chamber. The big men lock up, and force each other into the corner. Sheamus beats on Kane with fists, whips him into the corner. Kane hits a clothesline. Kane beats Sheamus down in the corner, whips him into the ropes. Sheamus hits a kick to the face but runs into a side-slam. Kane pounds and stomps on Sheamus, then tries to pull him out of the ring. Sheamus kicks him into the guardrail. They brawl a little on the outside. Sheamus tosses Kane back in the ring, but walks into a big right hand. Sheamus fights back and hits the “Irish Curse” back-breaker. Kane is back up first, but Sheamus takes him into the corner with a shoulder tackle, followed by a knee-lift, and a double axe-handle takes Kane over the ropes. Kane lands on his feet. Sheamus ties Kane up in the ropes and starts the fore-arm pummeling. Kane escapes and puts Sheamus down. Bryan runs out and gets into an argument with Kane. Kane shoves him off the ring by the neck, tells him to stay out of this, and walks into a Brogue-Kick, giving Sheamus the three-count.
WINNER: SHEAMUS
Bryan apologizes while smiling as we go to break.
RAW slam of the week: GUESS! (Lesnar killing Vince)
Welcome to Miz TV! Miz is trying to recap the attack on Vince (again) but Heyman interrupts, not wanting someone like Miz to soil his reputation. Heyman attempts to give Vince his “best wishes” on his hip surgery, but Miz interrupts him. Heyman denies having anything to do with Brock’s attack on Vince. Miz brings up the tape with him, Maddox, and the Shield. Miz calls him the biggest liar he’s met in his life, Heyman starts asking questions about Punk getting screwed and winning back the belt. Miz and Heyman are up in each other’s face, when Managing Supervisor Vicki Guerro decides to interrupt. She admits to signing back Brock Lesnar, and expresses her grief over what happened to Vince. As she starts to cry, Paul asks for a moment of silence, Vicki suggests they share a prayer, and Miz calls BS on the whole thing. Lesnar comes out, kills Miz, wrecks the set, he and Heyman walk off.
And we go to break…
We come back to a replay of the Miz TV chaos and a confirmation that Brock is under contract to WWE. Randy Orton makes his entrance, followed by Wade Barrett. As Barrett makes his way to the ring, we get a picture-in-picture promo from Bo Dallas and a recap of their feud, including Bo’s upset win and the attack on Smackdown.
WWE INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPION WADE BARRETT VS RANDY ORTON
Barrett beats down Orton in the corner. Orton reverses an Irish Whip and hits the Thez-press. Orton pummels Barrett in the head and hits two fore-arm uppercuts. Barrett reverses a whip but Orton hits the clothesline, and Barrett rolls out the ring. Outside the ring, Orton bounces Barrett’s head twice on the apron, and drops him back-first into the top of the guard rail. Orton rolls him back into the ring for a two-count. Orton stomps away on Barrett. Barrett tries catching Orton with the clothesline but it gets botched. Barrett recovers with a knee, a suplex, and a “do-over,” clothes lining Orton over the ropes to the floor. Barrett goes outside, kicks Orton in the head, and bounces Orton’s head on the apron. Barrett rolls Orton back in the ring for two, drops a couple elbows on him, and hooks the chin-lock. Orton fights out of it, hits two clothes-lines, ducks one by Wade, and hits the scoop-power-slam. Orton hits the second rope DDT and teases an RKO, but Barrett rolls outside. Orton rolls him back in, but Barrett hits the spiraling side-slam for two. Barrett tries to hit the waste-land, Orton elbows out. Orton tries an RKO, Barrett shoves him off. Orton dodges a charging kick in the corner, and hits the RKO for three.
WINNER: RANDY ORTON
After the break, Punk vs. Jericho (for really realz this time)
We come back from break to a quick promo for “Fandango” coming soon to WWE.
C.M. PUNK VS CHRIS JERICHO
After playing to the crowd, the two men lock up and Punk gets in a knee followed by a chop. Punk mocks the crowd, letting Jericho take over with three big chops, an elbow, another chop, and a big suplex. Jericho hits a fist-drop and goes for a cover. Punk grabs a leg and trips Jericho down, taking over with vicious stomps. Punk gets a chop and a knee to the gut for two. Punk locks the arm, Jericho gets to his feet and pushes Punk back into the corner. Jericho fights his way free, Punk reverses a whip and meets the boot of Jericho. Jericho charges Punk and takes a kick to the stomach. Punk tries a tornado DDT, But Jericho shoves him off. Jericho takes Punk over the ropes and out to the floor with a clothesline. Punk hits the announcers table. Jericho hits a baseball-slide drop-kick, sending Punk back into the table. Jericho goes for the “ricochet-off –the-second-rope-in-the-corner” drop-kick, but Punk catches him, and pulls him neck-first into the ropes. Jericho is down and Punk laughs as we go to break
Back to the action, Punk hits a belly-to-back suplex, and three leg-drops to the back of Jericho’s head, for a two count. Punk locks an under-hook face-lock on Jericho. Jericho gets to his feet, Punk whips him into the corner, Jericho back-body-drops him over the ropes, Punk lands on the apron and tries for a flying clothesline, but eats the mat as Jericho side-steps him. Jericho hits two shoulder-blocks, gets sent over the top rope by Punk, but lands on his feet, climbs to the top, and connects with a fist off the top rope. Jericho hits a boot to the gut and the face-plant bulldog on Punk. Jericho tries a Lion-Sault, Punk gets the knees up, but Jericho grabs the legs and tries for the walls of Jericho. Punk kicks him off, into the corner. Punk misses a running knee, and Jericho hits some head-shots before taking Punk off the top rope with the “hurriconrana.” Jericho gets a two-count, goes for another Lion-Sault but Punk gets a shot to the back. Punk has Jericho up on his shoulders and tries for the GTS, but Jericho rolls out of it and schoolboys Punk into a “Walls of Jericho,” attempt. Punk hooks his head for a small package, Jericho reverses it, Punk kicks out, Jericho tries a clothesline, but Punk catches the arm and twists it into a neck-breaker for two. Punk hits the knee-lift in the corner, a short clothes-line, but takes too much time up top and misses the “Macho Man” elbow-drop. Jericho’s Lion-Sault connects for two. Punk hits a SICK kick to the head for another two. Punk locks in the “Anaconda-Vice” but Jericho makes the ropes.
“THIS IS AWESOME!” – The Crowd
Jericho hits two shoulder blocks from the outside and goes up top, but Punk kicks his leg out from under him and goes for the GTS. Jericho catches Punk’s leg on the way down and hooks the “Walls of Jericho!” Punk makes it to the ropes. Punk tries to lift Jericho, he can’t. Jericho goes for the legs; Punk twists him into the middle turnbuckle. Punk sends Jericho shoulder first into the post; and hits the GTS for a three count.
WINNER: C.M. PUNK
After the match, we get the huge Hall of Fame announcement. Our next inductee is BRUNO SAMARTINO! We get a package of Bruno’s career highlights, including winning the WWWF title in 48 seconds, coming back from a broken neck after three months, and meeting the Pope.
And we go to break..
We come back to Matt Striker interviewing Punk backstage. Punk calls The Rock a thief and says the title of champion belongs to him. He’s the best in the world, and he proves it every night.
From that, we go to a video package about Rock winning the WWE championship after ten long years, featuring a montage of headlines and TV spots about the Rock.
John Cena is backstage being interviewed about calling out the Shield. Cena talks about how the time to laugh and joke and smile comes to an end when you get picked on and pushed around. Tonight, he pushes back.
And break…
We come back to Big Show, eating, live from his hotel, and complaining on the phone about how long it’s taking to get the contract over to him. Show answers the door for a guy with the contract. While Show reads it over and signs it, the guy keeps trying to tell him something. Show refuses to listen. Show opens the door to let the guy out, and comes face to face with Alberto Del Rio. They have a vicious fight in the hallway that ends with Del Rio blinding/knocking out the Big Show with a fire extinguisher. Two men get out of the elevator, looking confused…
“It’s okay; my friend just had some bad Mexican food.” – Alberto Del Rio
Del Rio assures them he will get Show some help, and leaves Big Show with a wink.
Back in the ring, Brad Maddox is here, asking for a mike. He claims Heyman took advantage of him, and claims he is an “innocent.” He takes credit for giving McMahon the video of him with Heyman and the Shield, and calls himself the “hero,” of this story. He says it’s gonna be him and NOT Cena who dishes out justice to the Shield, and calls them out. They come down, admitting they took money from Heyman and that they they’re gonna enjoy beating him down. After Maddox is decimated, Cena makes his way to the ring through the crowd, followed by Ryback and Sheamus. The Shield attempt to flee, but the entire WWE locker room cut them off. The Shield is trapped, back to back in the ring. Cena and friends move in and the fight breaks out, for two and a half minutes. The Shield retreat as the show closes.
What’s up, fellow Bored Wrestling Fans, it is I, the Vince McMahon to BWF’s WWE, the one and only ThinkSoJoE! And I’m here at work watching RAW and providing you with a review of this week’s RAW, because, well, I haven’t found anybody to cover this show since Justin Ruff stepped down last week. If you’re interested, the comments section is your friend! Oh well, let’s roll!
This is day seven of WrestleMania week! We’ll conclude tomorrow afternoon with a review of WrestleMania XXVII and a special pre-game edition of BWF Radio, but for right now, we’re heading to Glendale, Arizona for a look back at WrestleMania XXVI. A bit of disclosure. I’m actually reviewing this immediately after hitting the “schedule” button on the WrestleMania 22 review that you saw on Tuesday. The main reason is because I’m borrowing this BluRay and I’m supposed to be bringing it back to my friend tomorrow morning, so this will probably be my last chance to cover this without having to get it some other way. Anyways, let’s go!
My wrestling world is going great. Raw has been good for 3 weeks in a row. I’m going to MPX live with my mother or wife, whoever wins. AIW is having a 4-way of Facade, ACH, Rickey Shane Page and Uhaa Nation AND Tim Donst vs. BJ Whitmer at Gauntlet for the Gold 7. Chikara is also starting to get their year going. I just discovered a site where I can get really cheap Japanese DVD’s. And Gregory Iron announced he was going to be part of the Super 8 tournament. I am in pro wrestling nirvana.
Triple H begins the night be flashing back to 2002 where every Raw began with him in the ring wearing a suit. HHH really needs to stop channeling The Rock or Vince. He cannot hold a crowd the way they can. He cuts a certain type of promo really well. This wasn’t it. It was a pretty boring, way-too-long promo. Then he was interrupted by a really good Undertaker vignette.
Big Show nearly sprinted out to the ring. Daniel Bryan brought out AJ, (Thank you.) who looks breath-takingly beautiful in a neck brace. Big Show and Daniel Bryan had a really good match. Then Big Show was going to hit AJ inadvertently and stopped just in time. Then Daniel Bryan took the mic and said Big Show was a horrible person. I really liked Daniel’s psycho persona.
John Cena meets Carl Edwards. I could care less about NASCAR. This isn’t helping me not boo Cena.
David Otunga still exists. He decides to pray for Johnny Ace’s return. So does Mrs. Ace. He Tebows. I kid you not. He Tebowed. Then Justin Roberts announces Otunga has a match. And his opponent is my pasty hero Sheamus. Sheamus made his chest redder than Otunga did. The highlight of the match was my wife pointing out Little Naitch Charles Robinson.
Chris Jericho takes a mic. Nothing more need be said. Punk came out and said nothing, just held the belt. Perfect.
Wade Barrett and Cody Rhodes. My wife laughed at how much better-looking Cody Rhodes is than the rest of his family and said Barrett needs to pin his ears back. Those two faced Great Khali & Randy Orton. The match was very predictable. Whatever.
We get to watch this Cena s*** again? What better way to show the people how much we shouldn’t boo him than show Jared from Subway?
Beth Phoenix is devious. That’s what I learned from the 1-minute Divas match.
Then they showed THE SAME VIDEO PACKAGE from earlier with the Undertaker.
The 6-pack challenge was good.
This was a pretty mediocre Raw. Show-Bryan and 6 Pack were good. I also loved the first faceoff between Jericho and Punk. The rest was just fast-forward worthy.
