Kane talks forever. And then Cena comes out and they brawl into the crowd. It was a pretty awesome brawl and Cena was silent. I thought the announcers did a nice job of selling the brawl.
Sheamus & Santino took on Wade Barrett and Jinder Mahal. It was not a bad match. Mahal got pinned with the Cobra. Mahal, hope you like Florida, because I think you’ll be wrestling at the Impact Zone.
Miz is in the back with Johnny Ace and the never-ending cup of coffee with David Otunga.
Edge is being inducted in the Hall of Fame. So deserved.
Miz wants Mason Ryan to share needles or something.
Then Zack Ryder is hitting on Eve again and it works. Then Kane is seen lurking in the shadows.
Now Kofi Kingston is going to take on Daniel Bryan. I think it was a squash. Then Daniel Bryan celebrated like he had won the World Series. Then we had Big Show face off with Daniel Bryan.
Brodus Clay finally debuts. Holy s***! It’s the love child of Ernest “The Cat” Miller and Flash Funk. Poor Curt Hawkins.
We get Jack Swagger taking on CM Punk. Of course their match was good as we knew it would be. I also like the story they told of Dolph & Vickie getting involved. The ending just seemed kind of really weird, like a ref botch.
Miz wanted Ricardo Rodriguez to call out R-Truth for him. Ricardo Rodriguez was so awesome. Then R-Truth came out and asked Ricardo Rodriguez to sing a song. So he sang a remix of La Cucaracha. Rodriguez owned that segment.
Chris Jericho came out, soaked up the adoration of the crowd and began crying and then walked off. Brilliant.
Eve was about to go to the ring when Kane’s music hit. So Zack Ryder comes to get her and then goes to the car. The car’s tire is flat. So Ryder gets out to change the tire and leaves Eve stuck in the car. Zack Ryder has never seen a horror film. And Kane is apparently really slow.
Ziggler and Cena had a really nice match. And then, as we all knew would happen, Kane got to Zack Ryder. So Cena left the match and Kane laid him out.
All in all… I really wanted to like this Raw. But they did everything they could to make me not like it. Chalk this one up to awful.
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This week on BWF Radio, the crew discuss the decline of the Knockouts division, Daniel Bryan’s chances of successfully cashing in Money In The Bank, Hornswoggle’s chances of surviving the Battle Royal without Sheamus, Kofi Kingston bullying Michael Cole, subtle booking nuances, and much much more! Right click and “save as” the link below to listen!
Tonight was a 3-hour Raw with The Rock or something.
It began with the Michael Cole challenge. There was a really awful arm wrestling. Then we got to see JR dance. Is there anything they won’t do to him? At this point, Jim Ross needs to tell the WWE to go f*** themselves. Then the final thing was a weighing contest. Then we are saved by CM Punk who rips into Michael Cole. Finally we have the sanest man in wrestling. Johnny Ace makes a match and Eddie Kingston dies inside. CM Punk is RP McMurphy in the insane asylum.
Mick Foley came out of a limo.
We had a pretty decent tag match. Cody Rhodes and Hunico versus Sin Cara and Kofi Kingston. It was a good solid match. The funniest part was that she had to leave the room because she was on the phone and she got distracted because she likes Sin Cara.
The Rock arrived. My wife’s heart fluttered.
Santino pimped the WWE new video game with Zack Ryder.
Vickie Guerrero walked out. Dolph Ziggler would be the new member of Team Barrett.
The Walking Wellness Violation Mason Ryan took on Dolph Ziggler. Vickie interfered and Dolph was dq’d. As Vickie and Dolph ran, John Morrison threw him back in the ring for some roid rage.
Mick Foley got to do the “Woo woo woo, you know it” thing with Zack Ryder. Then he walked out before the adoring crowd. Foley wants people to cheer John Cena. Then Foley invites John Cena to the ring. They went back to This is Your Life? Foley is one of my favorite all time on the mic. (Punk, Funk, Heyman, Dusty, Flair) Why did they have to have to do something so unoriginal? It was fun seeing Bull Buchanan. Then they brought out John Cena, Sr. I will never complain about Bob Orton Sr. after seeing that travesty.
We got Jack Swagger getting mugged by Sheamus. It wasn’t that bad of a match. Swagger now is my cue to play Civilization IV.
The Bellas would rather have Alberto Del Rio than Zack Ryder.
There was a video package of Kelly Kelly’s photo shoot. Due to me not being 12, I could care less.
Kelly Kelly pinned Nattie Neidhart in record time. Alicia Fox looked really hot in her dress. But don’t worry, AJ, you’re still the center of my Divas universe.
Super Dave and ADR argue about something. Matt Striker is standing by with R-Truth and Miz. I think Miz was just wearing random outfits that didn’t matter whether they matched or not.
As Punk was walking out to the ring, ADR attacked him. Ugh, why is Punk walking around by himself?
Alberto Del Rio walks out and I just gotta say Ricardo Rodriguez is one of my favorite things on WWE TV. We had ADR/Henry vs. Big Show/Punk. Punk apparently had some spinach or something. He came out and wanted ADR. This made me intrigued with this match for the first time ever. I thought they had some pretty decent things going on in this match. Big Show-Henry was no Chikara action, but I am looking forward to this match. ADR won and then put Punk in the arm breaker. Big Show came to his rescue. Decent build-up.
Santino Marella came out and cut a cute promo. Then Kevin Nash came out; everybody died inside except Jim Cornette. At least it wasn’t a big name he destroyed.
Michael Cole was doing the video game hard sell and my wife the nurse pointed out he wasn’t even wearing his sling right.
Looks like they’re serious about Wade Barrett again. It was a decent match, but it was SO predictable.
Then The Rock came out and rambled. Fortunately for us, with The Rock, it never seems like rambling. Then Miz and Truth came out and held their own against The Rock, and then John Cena came out. They forgot the TV-PG part for a minute. It was just ok for me.
I didn’t entirely hate this Raw. The first segment made me want to close my eyes and dream of Chikara. But it went better as time went on. I’m thinking “thumbs in the middle.”
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This is probably one of the most tiring weekends of my life. And not only that, Raw is during an Eagles game. We are coming to you delayed from Liverpool. For those of you who don’t mind me going into my life, I am a Liverpool FC fan. (YNWA)
We open up Raw with a really great exchange between Cena and Miz/Truth. Once fisticuffs started flying, Zack Ryder came out to his rescue.
We had Dolph Ziggler take on John Morrison as he continued his Future Endeavored Tour. Vickie looked really nice in her outfit. This was a pretty decent match. My wife was not happy over Morrison wearing a shirt. She also did not like the match. It went on too long and they weren’t really doing anything (according to her). What I thought was awesome was the crowd cheering for Ziggler. Morrison should have walked out with a Suarez jersey. Morrison snapped his losing streak. I was pleased with the match. It looked like they put some effort into it.
Then came the Walking Wellness Violation Mason Ryan against JTG. I’m still more shocked JTG’s on Raw. It was a squash match. Even though I don’t like the guy they’re pushing, I gotta give them credit. They’re trying to make a star. The crowd had no reaction to him whatsoever.
We got a gratuitous “Wrestlemania Will Be Big” package. Then the Bellas supported Zack Ryder. I thought we were supposed to cheer him.
Then we got Alberto Del Rio vs. Kofi Kingston. These titles are so meaningless. I hate that it was the at the tag champ’s expense, but they made ADR look strong.
Then Punk came out. And ADR delivered the most scripted promo I’ve ever heard. He called ADR one-dimensional. About freakin’ time. And CM Punk wants the belt and to make the title interesting again. (Wow, did he really just say that?) I think the first hour was pretty good overall. The WWE “Creative” Team needs to come up with something else for Del Rio to say other than “This is my destiny.”
Then we watch the Muppets recap. Then we get the ridiculously stale Jack Swagger rematching against Santino Marella. Swagger won. Yawn.
Kelly Kelly is on the cover of Maxim. We all die a little on the inside. Please watchSHIMMER. They have real women’s wrestling. This segment was so awful. Kelly Kelly should never be given a microphone again.
Then we got Super Dave Osborne introducing Kevin Nash. Nash, for everything that’s wrong with him being an active part of the WWE product in 2011, is great on the mic. I still haven’t figured out where this is going.
Super Dave and David Otunga are courting or something. Then Otunga makes fun of Punk, Punk goes after him and then ADR attacks him.
Then we got the Cena/Ryder-Awesome Truth main events. I want to be mad for yet ANOTHER Raw with Cena as the main event. But can I be mad that we Zack Ryder in the main event? They turned this into a good match. Miz pinned John Cena. Yeah, I just typed that.
I will give this show credit. The first hour was very solid and I thought the main event did a great job of building Awesome Truth and Zack Ryder. Yeaaaaaa!!!!!!!!
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With experiencing both an earthquake and Irene’s wrath in the same week, it’s amazing to see how one can deal with things granted i only felt about 20 seconds of the earthquake and were getting the end of Irene but still it counts doesn’t it. While those weren’t the only things going on, let me take a look at some other things that went on during the week: (more…)
Vince is walking to the ring (wearing a hideous coat with a color that does not exist in nature) with Johnny Ace in tow (whom I have decided is now mute). CM Punk is ingrateful. There will be an 8-Man Tournament for the championship. John Cena is fired. Tonight will be a night of epic proportions. Will this be a WWE night of epic proportions or will this be TNA’s huge announcement that turns out to be Shark Boy’s evening dinner.
The first match was Miz vs. Alex Riley. Alex Riley is coming along nicely. Miz got the win so I was happy to see that. Miz has been through a lot in the past few weeks in his knee and has done a great job of selling his injuries from last night. Miz ended up with the win so he can lose in the next round and not lose anything.
We were treated to Jack Swagger and R-Truth. The crowd could care less about this match. So could I while watching it. While everybody was so in love with King of the Ring, I wasn’t. The only reason I cared about the results was because it was a launching pad for a lot of careers. I’m not the biggest fan of tournaments (except for ECWA’s Super 8).
Then we got Alberto del Rio vs. Kofi Kingston. And the return of Ricardo Rodriguez, the man with the best hair in the WWE. They had a really exciting match that got the crowd going for a little. Kofi Kingston is slowly becoming one of the top babyfaces on Raw. Kofi came out of nowhere to pin Alberto del Rio. This was the highlight of the night up to this point. (And then it plummeted very quickly as my wife discovered Wikipedia and started giving me the life story of Alberto del Rio. But you already knew that.)
At the point they were interviewing Kofi Kingston, I knew he was getting attacked. And then he didn’t get attacked. Is Kofi getting a rocket strapped to him? Rey-Dolph started out really well. My wife once again ruined wrestling for me by comparing Vicki Guerrero to Carol Burnett. They fought a really good match with Rey picking up the victory.
They did a 14-diva match. There were 28 reasons to watch this match. I don’t think this match lasted 28 seconds. It was long enough for me to swoon for A. J. and wish Sara del Rey was here.
Then we got Kofi and Miz. This match was really good and we had a bloody smile from Miz. I found myself asking if Kofi was really going to win it. It’s been a long time since I’ve seen one of those matches on a Monday Night Raw. If Miz wins this tournament, I don’t see how he can still be a heel. Maybe that’s what they’re doing.
We found time for an Andy Leavine video package. They need to do more of these. Give me a reason to care about these guys. Then we got Rey vs. R-Truth. This should make a pretty good feud because R-Truth hate the “Little Jimmies” and Rey does everything he can for them. The guys are great athletes and would feed off of each other really well. (Break from Raw: The cops in the Twix commercial crack me up every time.) The two fought such a great match with such intense drama. The crowd really got into it as well.
I knew the finals of their tournament wasn’t going to be this week. I thought we would have had to wait til Summerslam. If they had just been up front with us, we would have been fine. I just can’t but feel it was bait ‘n’ switch. Vince introduced Cena. Cena made a reference to “Kevin [Dunn].” So we’re still keeping with the shooting. I like this Cena. He made sense and was rational. “I will walk on somebody else’s show, Brother.” HHH came out and Vince introduced his son-in-law, HHH. Trips is now “The Corporate Game.” HHH is now taking over the day-to-day operations. So Vince is relieved of his duties (with tears).
This Raw was a pretty good disappointment. The only reason is we didn’t get CM Punk. Punk hasn’t gone anywhere yet. He’s building up plenty of buzz for himself and the company. Some people like tournaments. I don’t. But I think the crowd did a good job of building up their momentum. I hated the ending angle. This is typical of the past 10 years. Anything that has gotten hot, the McMahons have tried to insert themselves into it. Looks like my timeline really liked it, but I hated it. I am curious to see where it goes from here.
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So tonight was MPX’s Scars and Tattoos. Right now I’m in reflection mode, but I think this might have been MPX’s best show top to bottom. It was hot. Duh! It’s July in Texas. The crowd was a little out of it because of the heat. There were hand-held fans for the crowd. It was a great idea. The crowd was very kid-saturated. This is a very smart plan because kids will make their parents come back. And at the end of the day, it’s all about them.
Kate welcoming the crowd
There were guard rails. It looked nice and professional. They were held together with bubble gum and chicken wire, but they were there. And they needed to be there. The night began with Kate introducing Mike Dolenz. He wanted to apologize to $Payday$ and Jiggle-O for putting them in a match last month. He was going to make it up to them by giving them a singles match for a title shot. Dolenz has improved nicely on the mic.
Mike Dolenz apologizing to $Payday$ & Jiggle-O
First match: $Payday$ vs. Jiggle-O Jim Johnson (for a future title shot)
Payday did his best to try to get the crowd going. The crowd has mass heatstroke so the crowd plants did their best to get the crowd going. The kids really love Payday. He is a great person to start off the night because of the reaction he gets. Payday is kind of like the Kofi Kingston of MPX. He’s always right and good. In this match, I was a little confused. Who do I go for? I like Jiggle-O and Payday.
Jiggle-0 working over $Payday$
The story was that they were both friends and just trying to win the belt. Jiggle-O faked an injury. He rolled up $Payday$ for the win.
Winner: Jiggle-O
Payday, being the great human being he is, raised Jiggle-O’s hand and was a good sport about it. Jiggle-O then took the mic and began to cut MPX’s version of “The Promo.” He channeled CM Punk very well. He didn’t give a damn about anybody or anything. He had never had a chance for a title shot. And he called Kate a “skank.” To describe this for anybody who’s never seen MPX, that would be like calling Miss Elizabeth a skank. I think it is the best heel promo I’ve heard in MPX (with respect to Kyle Davis).
Second match: Carrion Arcane w/Claudia vs. Danny Saint
It was nice to see Danny Saint again. He looks like he belongs in a WWE ring (hint, hint, Johnny Ace). He’s got the size and has a certain look about him. The two wrestled a very nice match. Claudia got a little too involved for my taste. As part of their feud, Kris Haiden walked out and abducted Claudia. Claudia is very over with the crowd as a heel. She is probably the number one heel in the company. The match was a little shorter than I would have like to have seen, but we got to see Saint get a nice win.
Winner: Saint
Third match: Cash & Carry (c) vs. Jinn & Lucha Lucha
As Cash & Carry develop more, the more they remind me of the Road Warriors. Now I’m not saying that they are on that level yet. But you have a strong, silent type (Animal) in Zach T and a charismatic, larger-than-life talker (Hawk) in BC. I see them emerging as a top tag team in Texas in the next few years are so. Jinn and Lucha have come so far in their ring work. Jinn is a big student of the game. You can tell he spends a lot of time perfecting his in-ring craft. We had a few “Holy s***” moments (in a good way) just from him. During the match, Kyle Valo walked to the ring and convinced Lucha to join Team Kyle.
Lucha Lucha joining Team Kyle
Winner: Cash & Carry
Cash & Carry with their postfight beatdown on Jinn
After the match, Cash & Carry continued to beat on Jinn and wanted to unmask Jinn. But Lucha got to do it and it was revealed as Seph Annunaki. I understand they used the unmasking to cement a heel turn, but I was kind of hoping for a mask vs. mask match. Maybe I can hope for mask vs. hair?
After that match, Frankie Fisher and Daniel came out to the ring. Daniel had gotten Frankie a birthday present to make up for Frankie losing last month to James Hawke. His birthday present was a match with Lance Hoyt. Note to self: Don’t befriend Daniel. Daniel is pretty good on the mic.
Fourth match: Frankie Fisher w/Daniel vs. Lance Hoyt
Lance Hoyt took the mic and cut a very nice promo getting the crowd up. The crowd was really in to this match.
Former WWE/TNA Superstar Lance Hoyt
Hoyt led the crowd in “Happy Birthday to You” while he beat Frankie down. Kudos to Hoyt for being able to go on before the intermission. Of course nobody could have ever followed the main event. You can tell Hoyt has lots of fun coming to MPX and doesn’t phone in anything. I also give props to MPX for being able to involve him in a storyline. He was very well-booked, and I think the crowd really loved this match. One highlight was Frankie hitting Hoyt with the yardstick. Hoyt turned around and no-sold it. Another highlight was Frankie going to the back and Hoyt going back to get him. Daniel held onto Hoyt’s leg and cost Hoyt the match.
Winner: Fisher (by countout)
This was brilliant. So now Frankie can say he has a victory over former WWE/TNA star Lance Hoyt. Ben Wylde debuted a new look with his longer hair (I liked) and Kyle Davis was channeling the Chris Jericho look. It was a good moment. At the intermission, Lance Hoyt signed some autographs and worked the merchandise table. Also, they are now having a fund to bring in Colt Cabana. I did not give because I don’t know if he’ll still be taking bookings in the near future (like, he might be WWE-bound). MPX, you bring him in, I’ll make my donations. If you don’t, there’s always Sunny. (hint, hint)
After the intermission, Mike Dolenz announced there would be a Tag Team Turmoil event in August.
Fifth match: Kenny Steele vs. Matt Palmer
I really enjoyed this match. Kenny seemed like he was focused on this match and didn’t do as much jaw-jacking with the crowd.
Matt Palmer preparing to face off Kenny Steele
This is a pretty hot feud. Both guys have such a magnetic charisma, both Steele as a heel and Palmer in whatever he does. Steele is about 2-3 years from being one of the most talked-about talents in Texas. Palmer is already one of the top names in Anarchy Championship Wrestling in Austin. ROH, Chikara, Dragon Gate USA, go find yourself some Matt Palmer matches on Youtube or www.smartmarkvideo.com. It’s time to see him on a larger platform. Steele hit the referee Tony (who worked 6 of 7 matches last night) who disqualified him.
Winner: Palmer by DQ
After the match, security had to hold them back from each other. Matt Palmer did a plancha on the security guys and Steele earning the first “That was awesome” chant of the night. After that, we were treated to a special Hot Topics featuring Kyle Valo and his new members Regrub and Lucha. Regrub had a nice, sleek-looking outfit, and apparently, of all things, hair. They invited James Hawke to the ring and to become a new member of Team Kyle. This segment got “real” very quickly. They used people’s “real” names without giving away their secret identities. John Cena James Hawke said over his dead body. A match was made between Regrub and Hawke.
Sixth match: Regrub vs. James Hawke w/Ryan Gauge as special guest referee
Regrub at one point took off his straps and that drew out the biggest reaction of the crowd that night. I really liked the finish of this match. Hawke had him in the STFU and Valo went up to the ring apron and distracted Gauge. Hawke went over to talk to Gauge and Regrub held Hawke’s tights. Gauge counted two, noticed he had a hold on his tights and counted to three anyway. He took off his shirt and sure enough, Gauge was wearing a Team Kyle t-shirt. So now Team Kyle is officially a faction. I know I tease James Hawke about being John Cena, but this was definitely not Cena. Really nicely-done angle.
Winner: Regrub
Seventh match: Kris Haiden vs. Viktor Tadlock
This was a very intense stiff match between these two. Any other night, this would have been match of the night. The bell didn’t ring until about 2 minutes into the match. They didn’t get in the ring. Tadlock had a red, “I’ve-Just-Faced-an-Angry-Scott-Murdoch” chest. The two had such a nice intensity and energy. Tadlock took the mic and offered to quit wrestling if he would just tell him where Claudia was. Haiden gave him a Clothesline From Hell that would make JBL impressed.
I’m going to be honest. I don’t remember who won this. I’ll say it was Haiden. There was a fireball from Arcane. They sold this like Arcane had just done a fireball in Haiden’s face. Kyle Davis was angry and ready to take on all of them at once. They helped Haiden to the back and Nemesis (Arcane & Tadlock) went in search of Claudia.
Main event: “Headbanger” Gregory James (c) vs. WASP w/Kyle Valo
Right now, this is MPX’s Match of the Year. This is an example of how a hot crowd can make a match. There was a chairshot from Hell from Headbanger on WASP. (I hope WASP is ok.) The two did their part of brawling in the crowd, but there was also a lot of really good in-ring action. WASP is so big that any move he does that involves agility looks like a Holy s*** moment. During the match, Gregory climbed on the bars that hold the weights up and did a dive onto WASP. This evoked the SECOND “That was awesome” chant of the night. A major highlight of the match was the guitar/mandolin. They kept on building up the drama of who was going to get it. It ended up being WASP who took it and was busted up. We also saw Kyle Valo take a Van Terminator from Headbanger. Headbanger is about a year or two away from being noticed by a Chikara or ROH. Both these guys abused their bodies and I do not think I’ve seen a crowd this much into a match. Headbanger won after using a washcloth soaked in chloroform.
Winner: Headbanger
Top to bottom, I think this is MPX’s best show. Every match meant something and led to something else. Now MPX has left lots of questions open: Will Jiggle-O finally get his chance to win a championship? Where’s Claudia? Do we get to see Seph again? Why did he quit? And why did he come back as Seph? Will Fisher be able to take on Colt Cabana? What about this Tag Team Turmoil?
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The title will be the only sarcastic line. I’ll keep voting, and look at this is a relative position for a while. And that might be for the best as I roll through the most demanding time of the year for my work. So let’s get positive, and check out the results!
