Tag Archive: Magnus

  2. TNA Impact 17/10/2013

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    I’m extremely tired and cranky as hell.

    Dixie comes out to start the show. She has security with her and one of them has a briefcase. Dixie says that Bound For Glory will be her masterpiece and runs down AJ, referencing his beating by Bully Ray. A “We want Hogan” chant breaks out and I wonder where these fans were when Hogan was around. Dixie planned to have the signing of the contract for the match between Bully and AJ but instead offers something else. She offers 50 thousand dollars to anyone who can make sure AJ doesn’t make it to the contract signing and makes it AJ’s last night with the company. AJ may have walked away from the money Dixie offered him, but the rest of the guys won’t. When AJ gets taken out it just means someone else will get the shot. She has the security guy open the briefcase to reveal the fifty grand and Bully Ray’s music hits.

    By.Rulez.IW.2013.10.17.HDTV+Ptt1+(1).mp4_snapshot_05.02_[2013.10.18_13.46.37]

    Look, it’s Hogan’s first paycheck!

    Bully says he’s not exactly on Team Dixie but he took AJ out for free last week. This week he’d be happy to do it for fifty grand and doesn’t care who AJ is replaced with. Then Magnus’s music hits and he comes out. Magnus brings up the Bound For Glory series, and what an insult it is to offer someone the chance that 12 people gave their bodies for for fifty grand. Magnus hates to be insubordinate but it’s no wonder the crowd chants “Dixie sucks”. Guess he’s not quite a heel yet. He tells Dixie he’s sick of her coming out and talking every week and says she can keep the fifty grand cos he’ll fight Bully for free. Bully actually puts over Magnus pretty well. That’s how you handle a promo. The fans and Sting believe in Magnus but Bully doesn’t. He thinks Magnus is a fraud, a pretty boy without a tough bone in his body. He’s probably the biggest disappointment that Bully has seen. Magnus hits Bully hard and Bully slips out the ring and accepts the challenge for a match.

    Backstage with Aces and Threes. Bully is proud of his men, both of them, for taking the spotlight he offered and tonight they’re going to get that chance again. Knuxy has a shot at earning fifty grand, which he can use to buy a new bike. He’s up against one half of the tag team champs and Bischoff will be in his corner. Bully tells them if they need him he’ll be there, just like they’ll be there for him at Bound For Glory.

    Christopher Daniels vs Robbie E vs Hernandez vs Eric Young in a Four Corners Match
    The winner of this match gets the advantage in the gauntlet match and that advantage is that they will be the last entrant. I guess this is another case of it being an actual gauntlet match. The way this match works is two people are in the ring at any one time and you can tag anyone in when you want. EY and Robbie start things off and they don’t take long to swap to Daniels and Hernandez. Robbie E tags himself in and attacks Hernandez. Hernandez tags in EY who takes out both heels but the numbers catch up to him. Daniels goes for the pin and Robbie breaks it up and Hernandez hits the Air Mexico. Eric does this awesome thing where he gets sent into the corner but he rolls over to the outside and slides back into the ring. The finish comes when Robbie E steals the victory from EY and pins Daniels.

    By.Rulez.IW.2013.10.17.HDTV+Ptt1+(2).mp4_snapshot_07.05_[2013.10.18_14.08.18]

    Yep. This happened.

    Backstage with AJ. He doesn’t trust anyone and can’t finish his sentence before Jesse Godderz attacks him. AJ wins the five second brawl.

    AJ comes out to the ring. He says Dixie reeks of desperation. He’s flattered that she would go so far to stop him because she’s scared because she knows he’ll win. When he wins he’s going to make her pay. He’s said that before but he’s never said what he’s actually going to do. Does that mean that he’ll actually ask her for a paycheck? He pretty much calls out anyone who wants to try and claim the bounty and Knux and Garret Bischoff come out. AJ gets the crap kicked out of him before James Storm and Gunner come out for the save. Who needs fifty grand when you have the tag team titles?

    By.Rulez.IW.2013.10.17.HDTV+Ptt1+(2).mp4_snapshot_12.14_[2013.10.18_14.15.41]

    Can you feel the love tonight?

    Knux vs Gunner
    Bischoff grabs Gunner’s legs and the ref sees it. Isn’t that grounds for a DQ? I already don’t care about this match. Stuff happens, there’s some really strong power moves, and more stuff happens. Knux misses a leg drop after Gunner fails to flip him over for the Sunset Flip. Garret and Storm argue on the ramp and Storm spits beer in his face. Gunner sort of hits a Fall Away Slam but doesn’t finish Knux off. Knux calls for help from Bully even though he was in control and Gunner takes advantage and gets the win.

    Backstage Sabin is asked about his thoughts on the bounty. Sabin goes off to find AJ while Velvet says that this isn’t him.

    More backstage with Knux and Bischoff. Bischoff asks where Bully was and Knux says that the next time Bully needs help it’s going to be interesting.

    Backstage still, this time with Brooke and Gail Kim. Gail brings up Lei’D Tapa and tries to form an alliance with Brooke, saying they should help eachother should Tapa come after one of them. Brooke declines.

    Pretty awesome video package hyping up the Ultimate X match and the wrasslers in it. For some reason only Jeff Hardy is referred to by name.

    We’re still backstage, this time with Sabin. He’s looking for AJ and refers to him as “the not so phenomenal AJ Styles”. Samoa Joe finds him instead. Sabin doesn’t have his priorities set right because tonight he’s facing Joe in one on one competition and on Sunday Joe has him in Ultimate X. If he survives all of that then maybe he can go on a bounty hunt. Unfortunately Joe is a very big “if”. Sabin backs away slowly. That was pretty awesome.

    By.Rulez.IW.2013.10.17.HDTV Ptt1 (3).mp4_snapshot_09.19_[2013.10.18_14.27.26]

    I don’t know if Joe’s gonna kill him, but he WILL rape him.

    Frail Sabin vs Samoa Joe
    TNA remembered they’re a wrestling program and stopped with the backstage segments and instead put a match on. Joe pretty much absolutely dominates the first few minutes until Sabin flees and hugs Velvet outside the ring. Joe drags him back into the ring by his hair and continues to beat the crap out of him. Sabin tries to fight back but Joe no sells it and knocks him the hell out. Sabin grabs his woman and tries to walk out of the match. Joe follows him, Sabin tries to use Velvet as a human shield, but Joe grabs him anyway. Sabin counters it into a DDT on the ramp and goes for the count out victory. Joe dives back in the ring just before the ref counts ten. Sabin spits on his hand before rubbing it in Joe’s face. After that Joe takes control of the match again and resumes the crap kicking. Joe goes for a muscle buster and Sabin literally bites his way out of it and hits a springboard floatover DDT. I think that’s what it’s called. Joe locks in the rear naked choke for the victory.

    After the match Aries comes out and attacks Joe for inserting himself in the match. Hardy comes out and hits the Twist of Fate on Aries and grabs a ladder. It’s a shame he’s in an Ultimate X match but I guess he couldn’t pull out some scaffolding. Manik runs to the top of the ladder and takes out both Aries and Sabin and Hardy and Manik pose on the turnbuckles.

    We’re quickly taken backstage where Bad Influence are beating the tar out of AJ Styles. AJ fights back and sprays them with a fire extuingisher before disappearing into the night like Batman.

    Ethan segment. It seems Ethan is going to be related to Dixie as he says “Auntie D is gonna be real proud” or something like that.

    Magnus vs Bully Ray
    They start off incredibly slowly with tie up spots and tests of strength. Bully comes out on top and Magnus actually gets “Let’s go Magnus” chants without having to call for them. I really hope they don’t turn him heel now. Especially if the fans are starting to really come around to him. Magnus gets some offence in at last and hits a huge back body drop. There’s an ad break and when we get back Bully is in control of the match. He dares Magnus to hit him and Magnus complies, getting in a few good shots. The pair exchange blows and Magnus knocks Bully down and hits a back drop suplex and Big Boot. He follows that up with a huge top rope elbow for a two count. Magnus charges at Bully but Bully grabs Hebner and we get a ref bump. Bully goes for the chain but Sting comes out and grabs Bully’s arm to stop him. The ref comes too and tells Sting to let go of Bully. Sting complies and hits a low blow for the win while the ref is dealing with Sting.

    By.Rulez.IW.2013.10.17.HDTV+Ptt1+(5).mp4_snapshot_02.37_[2013.10.18_14.52.31]

    STING! MY BALLS!

    Post match they tease more dissension as Magnus explains he got low blowed and Sting explains he was trying to help as Bully was going to use the chain. Sting goes for the handshake but Magnus doesn’t take it.

    We’re backstage again, this time with Magnus and Sting. Sting asks Magnus if he has anything to say and the pair have a small argument that ends with Magnus saying that he’s sick and tired of ending up the losing end because people won’t let him prove he can go at it alone. Joe comes in to calm them down and tells Magnus to walk it off. Sting tells Magnus that he’ll be by himself on Sunday when it’s one on one.

    Kurt Angle comes out to the ring and cuts a promo on Bobby Roode. The gist was that Roode made it personal by mocking his induction to the TNA hall of fame and that while Roode is one of the best, he will never be Kurt Angle. Presumably because Kurt Angle is Kurt Angle. I wonder if they let him out of rehab a little too early. Roode comes out and says that he’s no Kurt Angle, and he’s okay with that. He WANTED to be Kurt Angle but not anymore. Kurt was the be all and end all of professional wrestling but now Roode is and he deserves a hall of fame induction way more. Roode tells Angle that the last thing he did was two years at Bound For glory when he, Angle, beat Bobby Roode to retain the championship. After that Roode went on to be the longest reigning world champion and this Sunday Roode is going to beat Angle. Angle asks him how he can win when he’s going to be tapping. Roode starts to explain why he won’t be tapping and hits a cheap shot. Kurt locks the Ankle Lock on Roode but Bad Influence come out and beat the crap out of him. Roode dismisses Bad Influence and locks what I believe was a Crossface on and Kurt starts tapping. Roode says he won’t be tapping because he’ll make Angle tap, though I doubt it. After this your winner will be Angle by submission.

    By.Rulez.IW.2013.10.17.HDTV+Ptt1+(6).mp4_snapshot_03.23_[2013.10.18_16.17.56]

    Cat Bug for champion bitches!

    Jeremy Borasch is in the ring with Atlas security and Dixie. He introduces Bully Ray first and then AJ Styles. He made it to the ring safely which I wasn’t a big fan of. I was hoping he’d be attacked one last time. It feels like he was barely attacked and wasn’t actually much of a survivor. Bully signs the contract and grabs the microphone and draws attention to how quickly he signed the contract. He says AJ can’t beat him because he doesn’t have the brains, the passion, or the thunder. Bully gives a little history lesson about Ric Flair and how he destroyed Dusty Rhodes and then proceeded to put the world on hard times. For the past year and a half he, Bully Ray, has put the wrestling world on hard times. He runs down how he became the world champion and retained it. He even claims he’s the one who ran Hogan out of the company. I suppose that means Hogan did re-sign, as Dixie said she never wanted to hear Hogan’s name again. In three days AJ will end up on hard times and he’ll end up with no contract or championship and when AJ goes back to his trailer his wife and three kids probably won’t be there. He calls himself the Darth Vader of the business and says AJ is no Luke Skywalker.

    But does AJ have The Touch?

    AJ gets the mic and says that he’s no Dusty Rhodes and Bully is no Ric Flair. Bully is no more than a big, dumb bitch who has no idea who he’s getting in the ring with. AJ is the most dangerous, desperate and intense man Bully has ever gotten in the ring with and he will win and make Dixie pay. He signs the contract and Dixie takes it. Bully says he’s not putting his title on the line and instead is going to cash in the fifty grand. Bully hits the cheap shot but AJ recovers and plants him with the briefcase. He then opens it and throws the cash at Dixie who proceeds to get on the ground and try and pick it all up. AJ shouts at Bully about how the title is everything to him and the two tell eachother what they’re going to do to eachother as the show goes off the air.

    Thoughts? The show wasn’t bad actually and I think it set up the PPV pretty well. The only problem I had is that the bounty on AJ’s head never really amounted to much. He was attacked maybe three times. He should have been attacked pretty much every segment, or at least one more time as he tried to come down to the ring. Still I can say I’m looking forward to the PPV, or at least discussing it this Sunday at 2PM EST on BWF Radio.

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    Impact in one picture. EVERYTHING in one picture.

  4. Impact Wrestling 19/09/2013

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    Same deal as last week folks. Thanks to a busy day I’m watching Impact while extremely tired and eating my lunch.

    The show starts with a small segment with Magnus. He said he left it all in the ring and goes to talk about EGO interfering. Roode comes in and EGO beat Magnus down, telling him he’ll never be champion and he only has himself to blame.

    (more…)

  5. Impact 12/9/13 – I’m Too Tired To Edit Edition

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    Due to time constraints caused by technical difficulties I had to watch Impact while eating my lunch so details of the firsst 15 minutes or so could be sketchy.

    The show starts with a pretty awesome video package on the BFG series and the finals and the match between Bully and Anderson. It made the show feel pretty important. I forgot TNA were able to do that.

    We get what we always get these days at the start of the show, Bully Ray. He has Brooke with him but no Toto. I wonder if he’s literally in the doghouse. Bully is willing to forgive Kenny because Hogan caused all of Aces and Eights’ problems. As if summoned by the very mention of his name like some sort of demon, Hulk Hogan comes out and welcomes the crowd and tells Bully to be worried about facing his brother, brother. Bully thinks Kenny will do the right thing. Anderson comes out and doesn’t shake Hogan’s hand. Kenny says he was out of line and can’t wait to get out of line again and knocks Bully out of the ring. He declares there will be a new WHC tonight and Hogan wishes Bully luck as he makes the title match a Last Man Standing match.

    Austin Aries vs AJ Styles
    AJ does the thing where he changes music during his entrance. I’d rather have the Sin Cara lights than that crap. There are duelling chants for both guys as we start with chain wrestling. Both guys hit and counter high spots inside and out the ring. Things slow down quite a lot after that. Some guy in the audience, on the hard camera, was actually reading a magazine and not watching the match. Fuck this crowd. AJ hits a backbreaker for a two count and a this is awesome chant starts. No it isn’t. These guys are great performers but no, this match has not been awesome. AJ went for the Styles Clash but Aries escapes. AJ hits a slingshot to take things outside. AJ hits his head on the apron but it doesn’t actually stop anything. AJ hits a springboard punch. Aries blocks a Styles Clash just by holding his arms to his chest and hits a hurricanrana. Why has no one else tried that? Aries hits the Brainbuster for a 2 count and fails to make AJ tap with the Last Chancery. AJ hits a Styles Clash from the second rope for the win and Magazine Guy gives a golf clap. I daresay Aries broke his promise by saying the winner would be the fans. I expected better.

    Forget the match, this magazine is awesome!

    Forget the match, this magazine is awesome!

    Backstage with Main Event Mafia. Sting says that MEM is supposed to be made up of former champs but they let Magnus in because they liked him, or some shit. Told ya, technical difficulties. He tries to pump Magnus up. Magnus says he’s tired of being told he’s the future and the future is now.

    Tenay notices that Toto and Rampage aren’t around and speculates where they are.

    Roode vs Magnus
    We come back from break to see Roode bitching to the commentators and ref because Magnus hasn’t shown up. Magnus then comes out to his old theme. Tonight he is Magnus, and not Magnus of the MEM. Roode doesn’t wait to kick the crap out of Magnus but he evens things out. It’s a very physical matchup and to prove how much of a letdown the first match was, the crowd are entirely into this match. Even Magazine Guy put his magazine away to watch it. Roode beats Magnus down hard for a two count. It’s also revealed that Magnus is 26 years old. Okay, I’ll complain less when people are pushed over him now. He actually has a good ten to twenty years left in his career. Roode gets in a long headlock and the crowd tries to bring him back into it. Did they swap crowds between the first two matches? Magnus gets a two count and Roode hits a Spinebuster for a two count of his own. Roode tries to get a Crossface locked in but Magnus turns it into a Cloverleaf. Roode makes it to the rope. The finish came when Magnus hit a Jacknife pin for the win. See Aries, that’s a good match. I’m not even saying that because I’m a biased Brit but because the fans actually stayed in it and came alive.

    Backstage with Bobby Roode who flips his shit and a chair. EGO run up to him and stop him. Roode says if he’s not going to the finals, no one is, and EGO agree and say they have his back.

    Look guys, it's Christopher Daniels' cat!

    Look guys, it’s Christopher Daniels’ cat!

    More backstage segments with Hogan now. He’s with TJ Perkins, I mean Rellik, I mean Suicide. What’s this guy called now? Oh, right, Manik. He’s out of the mask again and to be honest it does actually make some sense. I don’t mind he’s seen with his mask off really. I’d go into why but we’d be here a while and I have stuff to do. TJ and Hogan (JTHogan?) agree that when TJ puts the mask on he becomes someone entirely different and asks to face Hardy to test himself. Hogan agrees and Dixie walks into the room. She finally turned up to a taping then. Dixie says that she got a call from Bellator who have decided to pull Rampage and Toto from Impact because they have to protect their PPV and they don’t want Rampage and Toto to get injured. I can actually believe that. Hogan says it’s good and suggests feeding Toto to Ortiz after the PPV. The one on November 2nd. The Bellator one. Seems the match is official. You’ll see them beat the crap out of eachother legit, and then get to see them fake fight. Unless they do a shoot fight. That I would like to see because I’m not gonna watch this Bellator PPV. Though it would also be a kick in the face to anyone who paid for the PPV if they do another, legit, fight on a free Impact show.

    Yet more backstage segments. This time with Aces and Eights. Bully says he thinks his lackeys are happy Anderson screwed him and they want Kenny to be their leader. Bully knows they’re proud of him because he’s proud of them and he loves them, and he knows they’ll do the right thing. He says he hopes they feel the same way about him and walks off to end the segment.

    There’s a video package to promote the match between Kenny and Bully. Remember how I joke about how much Bischoff looks like Brodus Clay? DOC looked an awful lot like Tensai.

    Tensai Gallows
    Bully Ray(c) vs Kenny Anderson in a Last Man Standing match for the WHC.
    The pair fight on the ramp and Kenny throws Bully into the ring and continues the beatdown. If he stays aggressive I can live with it, as long as he doesn’t talk. I only really hate Kenny when he’s given a mic. Bully uses Hemme as a human shield and there was some epic side boob. I’m so surprised she didn’t pop out of her top. Given how they must have planned that you’d think she woulda wore something more appropriate. Bully rakes the eyes of Kenny to get back into it. He tells Brooke to go get him a chair and beats down Kenny some more. The ref checks on Anderson on the ground instead of counting him. I don’t remember if you have to be in the ring to be counted in a Last Man Standing match or not. Brooke comes back at last but Anderson is the one who uses the chair. Things finally get in the ring and Kenny hits a low blow and what I think was a rolling Firemans Carry. Anderson grabs a table and brings it into the ring. Bully hits a big boot to take control. The ref still didn’t count Anderson out and when we come back from break he’s still on the floor. That was way more than a ten count. Last Man Standing means that you have until a count of ten to get back up when you’re knocked down. Unless this is some shitty TNA variation I’ve never heard of. Like how they call Battle Royals “Gauntlet Matches”.

     

    Bully gets in the face of Hebnar who shouts back. Bully shoves him into the corner. Kenny hits Bully with the mic check on the chair and tries to revive Hebnar. Bully stays down for about a fifty count and hits an RKO. I think Bully calls it The Bubba Cutter. Aces and Eights make their way down to the ring and help Anderson to his feet. Brooke runs into the ring and hits a low blow on Anderson and makes out with Bully Ray. Given how Bully is 42 I don’t think Taz should have referred to Brooke, who’s 28, as “A good little kid”. The three faceless lackeys of Aces and Eights hit a triple power bomb on Kenny. The Shield does it better but it was still a good spot and made sense. Bully brings Heb

    nar to his senses and he finally starts counting. Kenny gets up using the ropes at a count of nine. Bully wraps a chain around his fist and knocks Anderson down and busts him open. Kenny gets up again at a count of nine and gets driven through a table set up in the corner. Kenny doesn’t get up and Bully wins. Bully killed Kenny. The bastard! EMTs try and take Kenny out on a stretcher and Bully grabs it on the ramp, saying his voice is the last Kenny will hear, and his face is the last Kenny will see. He flips Kenny off the stretcher, tears the brace off of his neck and beats him with his cut. Thankfully he didn’t go through with the rest of his threat involving burning it and pissing on it. Bully hits a Piledriver on the ramp and taunts Kenny, saying he’s the guy who just took him out.

    Prepare for an ambulance match! Or a stretcher match.

    Backstage segment with ODB. She says a lot of things have changed except for the fact she’s not been Knocked Out championship (not a typo, her exact words) in over three years and some other things.

    James Storm and Gunner are in the ring. Storm hits a cheap pop and says he’s drunk. I would not be surprised if he was. Storm says he wants to kick back and watch the BFG series but Gunner wants to fight and they’ll do both. All they need are some opponents. Chavo and Hernandez come out to answer the call and Chavo says that last years Bound For Glory is when they won the tag belts. He puts Storm over as a great tag team wrestler and Gunner as one of the strongest guys in TNA, though Hernandez is stronger. Chavo says Gunner and Storm are on a losing streak and it’ll continue if they fight. Gunner grabs the mic from Storm and challenges Hernandez and Chavo to a match next week. If they win, they might get a shot at the titles. If they win they should GET THE TITLES. He threatens them to end the segment.

    AJ vs Magnus
    AJ makes his way out to the ring and he’s either legit tired and hurt or doing a good job of selling the last match. Things start slowly with several headlocks and tie ups so maybe AJ was gassed as he shuffled to the ring. Magnus hits a back suplex to a yes chant. I normally don’t mind when the Impact crowd do the yes chant, as several chants are cross promotion such as the “What?!” chant and the “Woo!” chant, but it was worse this time because they were doing the arm thing too. That’s when it becomes bad to me. Not a great deal happened for a maority of the match really but it still seemed good to me. There was an occasional power move to keep things going and the guys were tired from the last match they were in. Things did kick off about half way in when Kaz and Daniels ran into the ring and assaulted them both. Roode hits Magnus with a Spinebuster and Daniels hits the Angels Wings on AJ and they attack them as refs come out and kick them out the ring. We come back from a commercial and the guys are exchanging blows on eachother.

     

    AJ springboards into a slightly botched uppercut and Magnus gets a two count. Magnus goes for the Cloverleaf and AJ reverses it into a Hells Gate. I know it’s a Gogoplatter or whatever but Hell’s Gate sounds cooler and I’m a huge Undertaker mark. AJ hits a pele for a two count. AJ locks in the Calf Killer submission and Magnus makes it to the ropes and plants AJ for a two count. AJ hits what I think Tenay Called the Spiral Tap and picks up the vicotry. Both in this match and in the BFG series. I can’t deny I’m let down but really I was torn between both guys anyway. I would have been happy with either, and I was bound to be disappointed with either. AJ grabs a mic and hits a Cheap Pop, followed by several more as he thanks individual members of the audience. AJ says he got a lot of responses to his shoot promo but didn’t get one from Dixie and tells her to show up next so he can bust the biggest mistake next week. He says this is Dixie Carter’s wake up call for next week and drops the mic as we go off the air.

    Dixie

    Thoughts? To be honest I was so distracted by my laptop dying (don’t worry I have a spare) that I wasn’t paying as much attention as I usually do. The show seemed good but I didn’t really get into it much. There were also several mistakes, such as showing Dixie earlier in the night. We KNOW she’s backstage. It’s going to take her a week to watch this episode back and see she was called out? I am slightly interested in where they go from here though, and what’s going to happen now the BFG series is over, and that’s all I really need to be. Interested.

  6. Impact Wrestling 05/09/13

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    The show starts with the usual “previously on Impact” segment. I’d tell you what happened last week but I already told you last week.

    The show starts properly with guys from the BFG series cutting promos about the gauntlet match. Even the guys who have no chance of getting in the top four with the 20 points. They imply instead of getting in the top four they will just ruin someone else’s chances. At least TNA remembered these guys have no shot, and now they have motivation to be in the match.

     

    Aces and Eights come out to the ring. Bully says that the Aces and Eights are still in control and that without his brothers he’d be nothing. He says they bang together, then repeated this with his arms around Brooke…I’m not liking the implications that they gang bang Brooke. That’s not PG. Bully gives every member of the Aces and Eights a hug except Kenny and talks to Toto.

     

    Bully calls Kenny the best Vice president ever and he loves Kenny more than he loved Devon and they hug it out. Bully sets up a lot of matches involving Aces and Eights and accepts Sting’s challenge. He even brings up the beating he gave him at Slammiversary. I’m glad someone remembers that match. It ends with Bully saying he’s going to stay outside the ring and watch Knux battle Sabin, which is next.

     

    Not related but pretty awesome.

    Chris Sabin vs Knux
    This seems like quite a downfall for Sabin. Sabin held up pretty well and focused on the legs to keep the big man down. I don’t get why he wasn’t allowed to do this with Bully and come across as a legit competitor. Knux just dominates after this for some two counts. So much for Sabin looking good. Speaking of Sabin, he managed to mount a small comeback after Knux got his foot stuck in the rope. Bully gave Knux a hammer but Sabin is the one who uses it for the DQ loss. Sabin argues with the ref after blatantly hitting Knux in the head right in front of him. Is he really surprised he got disqualified?

    There’s an Impact insta-fact, basically ripping off the “did you know?” segments. I’m not happy with how much I say fuck in these reviews but really it’s the only word to use for shit like this.

    Did you know this is true of TNA as well as WWE?

    Backstage with Velvel and Sabin. Sabin says he didn’t bring the hammer into the ring. It doesn’t matter who brought the hammer in, what matters is who uses it. He said something has to change and he should still be the champion and Velvel said he doesn’t need the hammer and this segment is so damn stupid. Sabin said “This is crap!” and really, he’s right. Thankfully that’s when it ended.

    Mickie James came out and she’s excited to be in Cleveland where the Rock and Roll Hall Of Fame is and said she’ll be there one day. I do think she’s more likely to be in there than in the WWE hall of fame. Mickie’s upset she didn’t get invited the VMA’s, or nominated, but she doesn’t need the VMA’s because she has the MJA’s. That’s right folks, she made herself a little trophy. Hopefully she won with “Number One With A Bullet”. The same bullet I wanted to put through my head. She says it’s hard to be a breakout star and the Knockouts champion of the century and a bunch of other stuff. ODB comes out and says the only thing Mickie needs to be worried about is her, ODB, taking that “Knocked Out” title. Mickie gets in a cheap shot and the beatdown starts. It doesn’t last long and ODB poses with the title. Mickie gets in ODB’s face and ODB rips Mickie’s top off and Mickie runs backstage while using the title to cover herself. Thing is, Mickie was wearing a tube top that covered her up way more than her wrestling attire and the world has seen her breasts. That was painful. For me, not Mickie.

    Damn right I screen capped Mickie's reaction to being called the Knocked Out Champion.

    Damn right I screen capped Mickie’s reaction to ODB saying “Knocked Out Championship.”

    JB is backstage with the two men who will be kicking off the Gauntlet match. Remember folks, in TNA a gauntlet match is a Battle Royal. He says they’re both mathematically eliminated from the tournament and asks them what they have to gain. Jay Bradley says even if they don’t have anything to gain they can still add something. Some organisation paid him off and tells Hernandez he’s willing to split the cash. I wonder who paid Bradley off. The Fed? Aces and Eights? The released talent?

    Aces and Eights are backstage and Knux is eating a sammich. What fell in his beard is dessert. Beards are awesome. That is all.

    12 Man Gauntlet Match for 20 BFG Points
    Even though Christie Hemme called this an over the top rope battle royal I assure you it’s a gauntlet match. The match starts with a promo. Yep. Bradley says all he has to do to get his money is eliminate a certain someone and if Hernandez helps him, he’ll help Hernandez’s wallet. Hernandez responds with a beatdown. So, that’s a yes? Joseph Park is the third man out. Bradley beats down Park but Hernandez saves him. Kenny is out next and goes after Park. There’s a break and when we come back Park is in the ring and Joe is on his way down. Then AJ came in. AJ runs in to his heel music and eliminates Park and almost eliminates himself. It would be hilarious if he eliminated himself from the BFG series two weeks in a row.

     

    Kazarian comes out next and goes after AJ. Joe uses an Enziguri kick to knock Kenny off the turnbuckle and eliminate him.  Next out was Daniels who attacks everyone before focusing on AJ with Kaz. There was a dude in the crowd with a giant appletini sign which gets an Appletini chant which causes Daniels to shout “I don’t need your help!” I’m not sure if he was shouting at the crowd or the dude with the Appletini sign. Joe fights off a double team by EGO and tries to eliminate Daniels but Kaz saves him. EGO focus their double team efforts on Hernandez and eliminate him as Jeff Hardy makes his way to the ring. There’s another commercial break and we come back to Bobby Rooooooooooooooooooooooooode making his entrance. Roode goes after Hardy while Bradley goes after AJ and it ends in AJ eliminating him. So was Bradley asked to eliminate AJ? Who would want AJ eliminated? I expected it to be a member of the Main Event Mafia that Bradley went after. Austin Aries comes out next and takes out Daniels and Kaz and all three members of EGO go after him. Magnus is the last man out and he pretty much takes out everyone still standing. Joe gets eliminated by Roode and Kaz. Bobby throws Jeff Hardy out. Kaz is taken out by AJ. Magnus gets tossed out by Daniels and we’re left with the final four of AJ, Roode, Daniels and Aries.

     

    AJ uses Roode to eliminate Aries and proves he has no intelligence. He eliminated Aries and left himself in the ring with two guys who were going to double team him. Thankfully shortly after that he eliminated Roode and it was down to AJ and Daniels. AJ is in face mode with springboard attacks and pele kicks and he knocks Daniels out with a clothesline. Sweet, AJ wins and I get what I want. Thanks Impact! It would have been nice to see more of AJ and Daniels though as they had a stip a while back that those two would never fight one on one again. The new final four is AJ, Magnus, Aries, and Roode. Take that Hardy!

    Don’t worry Jeff, you still have your drug money.

    Backstage Bully says he can’t even look Kenny in the face and asks Kenny what he’s done for the club lately and Kenny says he’s been busting his ass. He just put everything on the line for the club. Bully threatens to beat Kenny with a beer bottle, rip off his jacket, burn it and then piss on it. No, seriously. He tells Kenny to fall in line and not disappoint him ever again.

    They show a replay of the end of the guantlet match and I saw a Claire Lynch sign that I didn’t see during the match itself. This of course leads to AJ cutting a promo backstage about how he was out of the tournament and now he’s at the top of the table and he’s going to win the BFG series and take everything Bully has.

    There’s a replay of Hogan telling Bully he’ll be fighting Sting and I’m pretty sure they edited it. In this version Hogan said “Let me introduce you to your next opponent brother, the man they call Sting.” and I’m pretty sure last week he said “You’ll be defending the title this week against this man, the man they call Sting.” I could be wrong, but I’m pretty sure it was edited.

    Backstage Sting is with Rampage and says he can never wrestle for the title again. They’re really shoving it down our throats that this stip exists which is funny because last week WE shoved it down THEIR throats. We get this stip exists! We reminded you! Don’t tell us about it, tell Hogan. Sting says it doesn’t matter he can’t go after the title and thanks Bully for showing him he needs a family of killers. A family he has now. This might be the last chance he has with Bully and he knows he can do it because he has Rampage with him.

    Rampage is there to give him water to stop this happening

    James Storm and Gunner vs Wes Brisco and Brodus Clay
    Brisco and Brodus interrupt the entrance of the champs and the match starts. The teams fight outside for what was definitely more than a ten count and James Storm sprays beer on Brodus and the crowd. Is there anyone on this roster that doesn’t have some kind of addiction? Things finally move in the ring with a double team on Brodus and our legal men at the start are Brodus and Storm. Storm starts off strong but the Aces of Funk start double teaming him. Storm hits a Codebreaker which Tenay refers to as “The Double D’s” and tags Gunner in who lays waste to Brodus. Wes breaks up the pin and things descend into madness. The champs use a pretty sweet double team move where Gunner catapaulted Brodus into a DDT by Storm, so that was something. Brisco distracts the ref and Brodus hits Gunner with a chain for the pin.

    Behold the Aces of Funk!

    There’s an in ring segment with JB and the final four of the BFG series, except AJ who gets his own entrance. He came out to the guantlet match using his heel music and now he’s coming out to his face music. He’s even took off his hoody of +4 moodiness and replaced it with a baseball cap of +10 babyface. JB asks him who he’s going to face and he chooses Aries. Aries promises the winner when AJ and Aries meet in the ring will be the fans. Roode gets the mic and says the reason EGO became a group was so he could get in the final four. Magnus may have beaten Roode early on in the series but he’s different now and he’s going to walk out of Bound For Glory with the championship. Magnus cuts a promo back and hits the crowd with a Cheap Pop. Roode may have a few friends but Magnus has family and he will go on to become Heavyweight champion for the first time in his career. A girl can dream.

    Sting vs Bully Ray in a non-title match
    Bully comes out with Kenny, Toto and Brooke and some dude in the crowd was holding up what looked like a dollar bill to Brooke, presumably hoping for a dance. Stay classy. JT Hogan is seen in the crowd holding a sign saying “Hulk, I am your brother.” It was actually a woman holding it up which means it wasn’t JT Hogan, but Mavenfan which means Mavenfan vs JT Hogan is now a Brother vs Brother match, brother. Bully reminds the audience that it’s a non-title match and about Slammiversay. I told ya, remind Hulk. Hulk gets a mention as Bully says screw you to Sting and Hogan and then Hogan comes out. With how much they’re mentioning this stip I wouldn’t be surprised if they overturn it. Hogan bans Toto from ringside and makes it a no DQ match. Sting starts things off pretty quickly and hits a chair shot before the break starts.

    Bully is still being pounded with chair shots after the break. So not only did Sting hit him with chair shots all throughout the break but Kenny stood and watched it happen? No turn here folks. Bully goes to hit the ref with a chair but settles for breaking Sting’s back instead. Bully goes outside and Taz hands him a knife. Bully slices up the ring covering to expose the wooden ring under all the padding. I don’t think they should really have showed how padded the ring is, and maybe Bully should have gone after Sting with the knife. Sting locks in the Scorpion Death Lock and Aces and Eights come in for the save. except for Kenny who stays outside the ring. The Main Event Mafia come out there’s a huge brawl. The Mafia and Aces and Eights fight their way into the back and in the ring Sting misses a splash and Bully teases a Piledriver onto the boards but Sting counters. Sting goes for a Scorpion Death Drop but Bully holds onto the rope and Sting gets a head full of wood. Just like that time he dropped himself onto the chair. He should doing that move, it just keeps ending with him bashing his head on stuff.

    Kenny pulls out a hammer and mocks Bully with it and throws it into the ring miles away from anybody. THIS is the side of Kenny I hate. Bully taps and Sting gets the win. Kenny grabs the title, a mic, and mocks Bully. The crowd cheers and I guess this counts as a face turn. Kenny reveals he’s facing Bully next week for the title and calls himself Bully’s worst nightmare and introduces himself to Bully. The crowd cheered and chanted Anderson so, yeah, the face turn has happened and I’m already sick of Kenny’s face character.

    Guess I gotta get used to seeing this shit.

    It was actually a pretty decent show as per usual. I seperate Impact from TNA and can enjoy the show. TNA is a huge mess backstage but outside of Hogan and the BFG series mess up it hasn’t really shown much on screen. There were some logic gaps and some stuff I wasn’t a major fan of, but I’d happily give this show a 6.5/10.

  7. Impact Wrestling 29/08/2013 Dude Brother

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    Last weeks review was way too long and I’ve gone into far less detail on the matches this time. Still a lot of detail on the promos but I wasn’t sure how to cut that down.

    The show starts with Brooke Tessmacher’s ass. She meets Bully Ray and says if he has his championship and her then nothing can really be wrong. Bully says they’re going to the ring and the “previously on Impact” segment aired.

    For the last two weeks it’s been Hardcore Justice and now it’s Must Win Thursday? The Hell? They messed up the Bound For Glory series so they’re just rushing it and finishing up the qualifiers tonight.

    We open with Bully who’s in a really, really, really bad mood. He said someone was missing from the ring, meaning Devon. He wants answers and asks Brodus Clay what happened and some douche in the crowd shouted “he failed just like his father!” I’d tell you what Brodus said but I don’t care. I didn’t care what Knux had to say either. Wes said he doesn’t know what happened and we finally get to Kenny who doesn’t know either and says it could have been any of them who were gone and it is how it is. Bully says it is and what it is is a disappointment. Devon has always been a disappointment. He never needed Devon and never will again and Toto is the only man he needs. Bully wants to give Toto his own cut and Kenny goes nuts and Bully doesn’t stand for that and puts him down before calling out Brooke. Brooke comes out with an Aces and Eights jacket straight from ShopTNA.com. Kenny gets in the way again and says he wants to vote on it. Toto puts the jacket on and Bully takes Devon’s nametag off of it. Toto means so much to Bully that he didn’t even give him his own cut, he gave him Devon’s. Bully finishes up by saying he can’t wait to see Hogan and can’t wait to introduce him to the only Brooke that’s ever meant anything to him.

     

    One of my favourite Bully Ray moments

    There’s a backstage segment with Jeff Hardy who’s talking out loud this time and has his eyes open. I didn’t really care what he had to say. I used to like Jeff but then I grew up and realised what a drug lord he is. Also shown walking backstage is Hulk Hogan. What wasn’t shown was JT Hogan attacking him dude brother.

    Jeff Hardy vs Kazarian
    Both men go for quick pins and of course neither of them get the win in the first minute. Only people who go against Sin Cara get that. Kaz counters a Twist of Fate and the high enziguri by crotching Hardy, and Kaz takes control of the match with leg drops and loses control when Jeff hits a faceplant. Hardy puts on a Figure Four Leg Lock and I don’t know enough about that hold to know how well he did it. It seems like a move only Ric Flair can apply properly. Kaz escapes and counters a Twist of Fate for a two count and gets another two count with a kick to the head. Jeff hits a Twist of Fate and a Swanton for the victory and the announcers have the tamarity to call this guy unpredictable.

     

    Jeff Hardy is watching you, with his eyes closed.

    Backstage with the Aces and Eights and they’re teasing more dissension now. Brodus says if Bully doesn’t care about Devon he probably doesn’t care about them. Spoiler alert; he doesn’t! Kenny asks if they voted to not vote and my brain started hurting as I was reminded why I don’t like the guy. Kenny says if it keeps up then they’re going to hold another vote Bully won’t like. Actually I’d be kinda happy if they formed the Aces And Eights Wolfpack. No, wait, they’d be Aces and Eights Hollywood. Bully would be the Wolfpack.

    I can’t photoshop at all so it’s just regular old nWo for you.

    Gail Kim vs ODB in a two out of three falls match
    The winner of this will be the number one contender and because they’ve been trading wins over the course of weeks they’re now going to exchange them in one match. Tenay plugs the Knockouts Knockdown one night only PPV and says all my favourite knockouts will be there. I beg to differ as a lot of Knockouts said they wouldn’t go and my favourite knockout is Madison Rayne who definitely won’t be there.

    It’s slow paced but it makes sense. It’s two out of three falls so they have to take it slow to preserve their energy. Gail goes for a submission that was, to quoth the commentators, halfway between a Texas Cloverleaf and a Sharpshooter. ODB taps and Gail picks up the first fall. Has anyone ever won a two out of three falls match 2-0? There’s a commercial break and we come back to Gail breaking ODB’s leg. Gail goes for the submission again and ODB counters with a small package for the win and it’s 1-1. Gail goes for the corner Figure Four. ODB fights her way to her feet and hits a clothesline for a two count and then ODB stands up instantly. Selling is as dead as kayfabe it seems. Gail locks in another submission but ODB reaches the ropes. ODB locks on a Sharpshooter and Gail taps out. ODB wins and gets the title shot.

     

    I actually kinda miss these guys performing together

    There’s a backstage segment with Velvet Sky who says that she’s rooting for ODB, and that we’re in for a surprise when the Knockouts PPV airs. You mean some women actually agreed to be a part of it? What I wasn’t surprised by though was when the camera went from Velvet’s face, zoomed in on her tits, and then zoomed back out as it went back up to her face. I kid you not, that genuinely happened. Velvet said she wanted to be at Hardcore Justice but couldn’t because she had personal issues to deal with at home. It turns out that she’s dating Sabin. I had absolutely no clue. The camera zoomed in on her tits, AGAIN. THAT HAPPENED TWICE WHAT THE FUCK TNA. Anyway Vel Vel says that even though she is dating Sabin they keep their business and personal lives seperate.

    There’s another backstage segment with Daniels and Roode. Roode says he’ll take care of AJ and if Daniels takes care of Aries they’ll be alright. Daniels says Aries is no gentleman and he’s going to take care of it, right now. The segment ends with Roode putting the Appletini on a chair. That’s a nice little touch.

    After a quick replay of Aries quote unquote turning on the Extraordinary Gentelman’s Organisation Borasch is backstage with Aries who says it was a no go because he’s all show and a bunch of other stuff. He believes if you want something done right you do it yourself and that’s why he turned down the Main Even Mafia too. He only relies on himself. Aries hopes AJ makes it to the finals becuase when they’re in the ring, it’s magic. Daniels interrupts and says that Aries missed out on his golden ticket by turning down the Gentlemen. I thought that only happened to the Knockouts? They argue for a little bit and Daniels says Aries is gonna be knocked flatter than Miley Cyrus’s ass. Still not seen that, still never will. Aries says he’ll slap Daniels so hard he’ll start to grow hair again. Damn I love those guys.

    Hulk Hogan is still backstage. I’m not entirely sure how he fought off JT Hogan. He’s asked some questions and says everything will be addressed in the ring and he has an announcement. He then enters his dressing room and begins round two of his best two out of three falls match with JT Hogan.

     

    Hogan’s reaction to JT Hogan. Needless to say he got beat for this.

    It’s time now for the Main Event Mafia. Rampage gets in another plug for their MMA fight (it’s November 2nd guys!) and says every time he sees Toto he’s gonna stomp a mudhole in his ass. Joe gets the microphone and performs a super effective Cheap Pop. I realised at this point I was only about half way through the show. Damn it’s been dragging if I’m honest. Joe says they’re there to recognise AJ and Sting woos for him and offers him a spot in the Mafia. Even if AJ doesn’t want to join the Mafia they want to thank him for what he did. AJ cames out to his heel music and has his totes mysterious hoodie on again. He does his transformation and I’m with Taz, I hate it and it’s annoying. He should come out to either his heel music or his face music. I actually like his heel music too.

    AJ says he needs to do this himself and the mafia walk out. AJ says the crowd has questions and he has answers for them. He formally turns down the Mafia invitation because a suit and tie just isn’t him. He’s developed trust issues over his two best friends screwing him and the guys in the truck filming him at home for the sake of good television. AJ says the only person AJ can trust is Alan Jones. He says he’s with no one, but he just announced his new tag team partner is this guy called Alan Jones. AJ says his perception of the business has changed and that he’s better than the best in the world because he’s the phenomenal AJ Styles. Even though he loves what he does in the ring he understands it’s just a job. AJ Styles, CM Punk, Daniel Bryan, and Undertaker in a fatal four way at Wrestlemania 30 anyone? He cuts a promo about being shafted by management and I’m pretty sure this is related to his contract issues and he says he deserves better. He tells Tenay and Dixie he deserves better. He’s been TNA’s go to guy for 11 years and for what? Just to watch them bring in the next big thing and watch them fail? Maybe it’s the new direction that’s going nowhere. I don’t appreciate the way the crowd is reacting to this. He says he was praying that Dixie would fire him so he didn’t have to quit and instead he chose to stay. He stayed to take care of his family because this is his job and THAT’S WHAT HE DO. AJ says he likes being the go to guy and who steals the show and who sends the fans home happy. The question is can he still be that go to guy, can he still take the weight of the company on his shoulders, and can he go on to win the BFG series? Damn right he can. Damn that was epic. Two AJs giving two pipe bombs in the same week means a good week for wrasslin.

     

    How the crowd seemed to react, fuckers.

    AJ Styles vs Bobby Roode
    There’s some chain wrestling and a Calf Killer that ends in a rope break to start. AJ does some high spots and Roode stops him with a Spinebuster. Good luck carrying the company on a broken back! Roode hits a suplex and keeps working the back and arms. AJ gets back into it with a Spinebuster of his own and a Springboard Moonsault and pele kick. AJ springboards into a crossface by Roode and gets a rope break but Roode just puts him back in it. AJ counters it into a pin and then hits the Calf Killer submission. Roode goes for a Fisherman Suplex and AJ counters it into a roll up pin for the win. Nice to see AJ win but I don’t get it because he’s only in fifth place. He needed the submission but didn’t go for it. The fuck? They could have at least said he went for the rollup on instinct and didn’t realise what he was doing.

     

    Unless you’re an angry AJ Styles

    Backstage with Daniels and an amazing pair of goggles. Daniels says he has to beat Aries and he’s going to do just that.

    Jeremy Borasch is backstage and says that there’s no word from Hogan but he’ll be out in the ring after the next match. Thankfully it’ll be to make an announcement and not in a match.

    Christopher Daniels vs Austin Aries
    Taz says that Daniels looks like several doctors but he forgets the one Daniels actually looks like which is Doctor Steel. They trade blows and Aries poses in the corner before we get some more chain wrestling. I was expecting this to be a good match and I was not disappointed. The match goes outside and Daniels gets his feet up for Aries to run into when going for a Suicide Dive. I’m seen in the crowd holding up a sign that says “Aries Fears Hemme”. Just kidding, I wasn’t in the crowd, but that sign genuinely was. We come back from a break and the action is back in the ring. Daniels gets an Abdominal Stretch in and Aries reverses it into one of his own and there’s a double clothesline. I’m not really doing this match justice. Aries hits a ton of shots in the corner and hits a backdrop to set up the Pendulum Elbow. Tenay’s right, it HAS been a while since I’ve seen that. Daniels gets up and slams Aries into the corner but Aries tosses him outside the ring and hits the Suicide Dive this time. Aries went to the top rope but Daniels uses the ref as a human shield and hits a powerbomb. Aries hits a top rope Missile Dropkick and a running Dropkick and goes for the Brainbuster but Daniels floats over and plants Aries for a two count. Aries hits another dropkick, gets the Brainbuster and the seven points with a victory. Your final four in the BFG series are Magnus, Aries, Roode and Hardy. I want Magnus to win but I can see them saying “he lost the series overall but it’s still impressive he was the points leader.”

     

    This Dr Steel and if Daniels grew a beard he’d look just like him.

    Another backstage segment and this time with Bully who says he feels bad for Hogan. For ruining his family and everything. Then he snaps back to reality and doesn’t feel bad because Hogan is where he should always have been, in Bully’s back pocket. Bully tells Toto to keep an eye on Kenny and walks off with Brooke who refers to Bully as “daddy”. That Brooke Tessmacher has daddy issues really explains a lot.

    At long last Hulk Hogan comes out and the crowd goes…mild. JT Hogan is seen on top of the Titantron and he jumps off and hits a leg drop on Hulk. Unfortunately it’s so powerful JT Hogan goes through the Earth and I turn on the news to hear reports that the majority of the world is now flooded and every major volcano has erupted. Hulk somehow survived and crawls his way to the ring. Hulk puts over Hardcore Justice and says it’s great to be back and hits a super effective Cheap Pop of his own. Hulk pulls up the BFG series standings and doesn’t actually say the name of anyone on the board. Hogan can’t read? Hulk says he was away taking care of some hardcore business. It’s hardcore wrestling business though, he’s not in talks with Chyna. When he met with the Spike execs they decided that even though the series was ending they’re going to have a 12 man gauntlet match for 20 BFG points. I want AJ to win but I like the top four as it is actually and if Hardy is in fourth place anyone who makes their way into the top four will knock him out. I don’t see that happening.

    Bully comes out with Brooke to save us from Hogan. Bully says he missed his dad and it’s not been the same without Hulk around and a lot has changed, including Bully having the title again. Bully says he’s been waiting to introduce Hogan to Tessmacher and Hogan says Brooke couldn’t bum a rush off of him. He only puts the pythons on his daughter and his friends wives. He’s been taking care of personal business and has divorce papers for Bully. He got a divorce without Bully’s signature? Is that even legal? Brooke Hogan is moving on to bigger and better things, such as the WWE developmental centre! Bully says he never cared about Brooke Hogan and did something that no other man has done to her by using her. Bully has got everything he wants and doesn’t have to do anything until Bound For Glory. Hogan asks Bully if he knows who he is. I know Hogan is getting old but is Alzheimers kicking in already? I think it is because he called Bully Jack. Hulk says he’s going to use Bully’s family just like bully used his and in two weeks Bully will defend the title against a member of Aces and Eights. I thought he was bringing Devon back in. Bully says he won’t do it and Hogan says he will and he’ll also defend his title “this week”, I think he meant to say next week, against the man they call Sting. Wait, wait, WAIT, didn’t Sting lose the right to challenge for the title? If I’m wrong about that I’m wrong but I’m pretty sure I’m right.

    As we go off the air Tenay clarifies that the title match is NEXT week and gets in one last plug for Fightmaster.

     

    Not a Sheik mark but this is how I react to Hulk.

    My thoughts on the show? It was a pretty solid show really. It dragged a little in the middle but it picked back up again and other than some questionable camera angles, daddy issues, and mistakes by Hogan, there really wasn’t too much you could say about this show that was bad.

  8. BoredWrestlingFan Radio Episode 86

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    This week, the war between Joe’s RAW review and G’s SmackDown review intensifies.  JT and Jorge duke it out in a battle of 80’s music knowledge supremacy.  Mark returns after a week’s absence.  JT’s multiple personalities are mocked by The Great Khali.  The spinner belt makes it’s BWF return and the TNA Brown Bag makes it’s show debut.  In the news, Bo Dallas is the victim of Wikipedia hacking, Magnus re-signs with TNA, and Eva Marie is legit hated even when it’s scripted.  Daniel Bryan talks about his beard.  Sheamus gets injured.  Stephanie McMahon sells more stock.  All this and more on BWF Radio!

    BoredWrestlingFan Radio Episode 86 (MP3, 2:05:21)

    This week’s break song is “Barracuda” by Adrenaline Mob.  Buy it here!

  9. iMPACT Review 81612

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    World Champion Austin Aries comes to the ring.

    He spells FLUKE and gives its definition. He makes a joke about erasing the “e” in fluke and telling all the doubters to go fluk themselves. He directs his next comment to Aces and 8’s and tells them that he is walking out of Bound for Glory the World Champion.

    Jeff Hardy’s music hits. Hardy says he is going to win the BFG Series and they will “tear it up” at the PPV. Aries agrees. Hardy calls out Aces & 8’s because they cost him 20 points. Bully Ray’s music hits and comes to the ring and calls Hardy stupid. He says James Storm is behind Aces & 8’s. He makes his case and reasons through what transpired at Hardcore Justice. Aries calls attention back to himself and accuses Bully of maybe being behind it.

    Aces & 8’s appear on the big screen. They main guy says sometimes when you roll the dice, you get the dead man’s hand. He says tonight they will make their presence felt in a big way.

    BFG series Storm is 1st with 66, followed by RVD with 55, and Samoa Joe with 54

    Backstage: Magnus talks about his match with Samoa Joe. He puts Joe over and says he knows everything about him.

    Samoa Joe vs. Magnus

    They trade some nice moves and counters. Magnus goes out to regroup. Joe knocks him down with a big forearm. Magnus answers back with a big boot to the head which drops Joe. Magnus sends him in but Joe kicks him in the chest. Magnus connects with a powerful clothesline and he gets 2. He drops Joe again and Joe kicks out. Joe sends him in the corner and follows in with a reverse elbow and an Enzuigiri.

    Joe puts him up top, Magnus fights him off, Magnus comes off with an elbow, Joe moves out of the way. Joe applies a rear naked choke but Magnus kicks off the ropes to get free. Joe rolls through and pins him with a cradle.

    Samoa Joe gains 7 points to 61 points to 2nd place. Joe offers his hand to a seated Magnus but he just stares ahead. Joe pats him on the back and leaves up the ramp. Magnus grabs a chair and clocks Joe on his arm when he puts his arms up to protect his face.

    Madison Rayne says her win on Sunday righted an injustice. She is told by a producer that Brooke Hogan wants to see her in the ring. (And by injustice she means the injustice she is going to rain down on us with her subpar matches and complete stagnation of an already stagnant division.)

    Madison comes to the ring. She thinks Brooke is going to throw her a party. He says behind every strong woman stands a great referee. She calls Earl Hebner to the ring. We get a small “You screwed Brooke” chant.

    Brooke Hogan comes out and says Earl will not be the referee in any more Knockouts matches. She tells Madison that Tessmacher gets her rematch tonight and she has a special referee that she will announce later. Madison cuts a promo on her and challenges her to get in the ring. Brooke charges the ring and Madison and Earl bail. Brooke gets in the ring and tells Madison to come back. She says, “I’m a Hogan, I don’t go anywhere.”

    If the real Glamazon (because damn she is tall) can actually wrestle that would be nice to see. Since her brother is a never was.

    Two members of Aces & 8’s get in the ring behind Brooke and she turns around and they back her into the corner. Bully, Aries, Hardy, and Angle run out to her rescue and the masked men retreat. James Storm comes out.

    Sting is in the ring and he says Aces & 8’s crossed the line but showed their true colors. Borden says TNA  has its own pack standing tall in the ring. He challenges them to Open Fight Night next week.

    Daniels & Kazarian talk backstage about being on the back-cover of the new Spiderman comic. They make fun of AJ’s “baby” and Claire’s looks. AJ comes out and says he was drugged and he’s tired of it. He tells Daniels that in their match tonight, if Daniels wins, AJ will accept he’s the father (Huh?) and if AJ wins, he gets the points and is taking a paternity test.

     

    AJ Styles vs. Daniels w/ Kazarian

    The ref bars Kazarian from ringside. AJ hits a quick knockdown and he chases Daniels around the ring. They go back and forth. AJ hits a bodyslam and drops a flying knee. AJ puts the boots to Daniels in the corner. Daniels goes out to get a breath but AJ gives chase. AJ hits a high back body-drop in the ring and Daniels begs-off. AJ hits a nice clothesline and covers him but Daniels kicks out.Daniels controls a side headlock. AJ connects with a dropkick and gets 2. AJ applies a Deathlock with a bridge, then a single-leg Boston Crab, then back to a Deathlock. Daniels bites his fingers to escape. Daniels drops his throat across the ropes and gets 2. Daniels kicks AJ out under the ropes. AJ gets in before the count.

    Daniels sends AJ in the corner and slowly picks him apart. Daniels hits a suplex but AJ kicks out at 1. Daniels tosses him out again and tries to get AJ counted out. AJ gets on the apron but is again kicked off to the floor. AJ sunset flips in and goes for his finisher but Daniels counters with a crucifix chokehold. AJ drops to the mat. AJ bites his way out. Daniels hits a textbook suplex and gets 2. Daniels hits punches in the corner but AJ hits a running powerbomb. AJ hits a springboard forearm and a flurry of clotheslines for 2. AJ hits a suplex into a neckbreaker for 2.

    Daniels pulls the ropes down and AJ crashes to the floor. AJ goes back in the ring and hits a front flip dive onto Daniels on the outside. Kazarian sneaks down to the ring and holds AJ’s foot allowing Daniels to fall on top of him and get the pin. The ref sees Kazarian and doesn’t call the fall. AJ hits the Pele for the win.

    AJ hits a Styles Clash on Daniels.

    -Sting is in his office talking to Hogan on speakerphone. Hogan says he is going to be there next week. They are going “old-school.”

    -Hardy approaches Storm in the locker room. He says he’s got his eye on him. Storm sounds hurt by it and denies it. Storm says he will be out there during Hardy’s match tonight to watch his back.

    Title controversy video from Sunday

    Roode comes to the ring. The fans chant, “You suck.” Roode says he had the opportunity to prove Aries was a fluke and he did. Roode says he defeated Aries in the middle of the ring. He says he should be champ and now he gets no rematch. He says we don’t understand what that championship meant to him. He says Bobby Roode is synonymous with champion. He says Aries, Sting, the referees, and the fans are the only ones to blame. They chant, “You’re a loser.” He starts to say what he’s going to do but he stutters, pauses, ponders, and drops the mic and leaves.

    Miss Tessmacher vs. Madison Rayne

    Brooke comes out after the women make their entrances and says she has a phenomenal ref: Taryn Terrell. Madison and Tessmacher lock-up and Taryn has to separate them. Madison drives her head in the corner. She chokes Tessmacher with her boot and takes advantage of Taryn’s full count. Madison hits a suplex into a bridge for 2. Tessmacher gets two near-falls. Madison grabs the tights but Taryn sees it. Tessmacher hits a spear and they struggle to get up.

    Tessmacher hits a combination of clotheslines and gets 2. Madison avoids a crossbody out of the corner and pins Tessmacher with her feet on the ropes. Taryn has to physically remove them as Madison gives her a look of death. Madison argues with Taryn and Tessmacher comes up from behind with a faceplant for the win.

    Aces & 8’s appear in a video and say they accept Sting’s invitation for 8pm next week. One guy asks the main guy if they have unfinished business tonight; he says yes.

    Bully Ray vs. Jeff Hardy

    Storm comes to the ring and Bully asks where his boys are. Bully takes control of Hardy and goes out to shove Storm. Hardy hits a dropkick to Bully through the ropes, then comes flying off the apron.Bully gets 2 in the ring. Storm looks around his back for Aces & 8’s. Bully drops an elbow and gets 2. Bully applies a calf lock but Hardy reaches the ropes. Bully hits a suplex for another 2. Hardy fights back but gets caught with an elbow. Bully lands hard after Hardy avoids a splash. They trade shots. Hardy hits a flurry. He hits a front dropkick after an inverted atomic drop for 2. Bully hits a Rock Bottom for 2. Hardy counters a Full Nelson and hits a Swanton for 2.

    Bully rolls outside in front of Storm. Hardy slingshots over the top but Bully pulls Storm in the way and Hardy lands on him. Back in the ring, Bully sends Hardy in but gets caught with a boot. Hardy hits a corkscrew out of the corner. Two members of Aces & 8’s get in the ring with and grab Bully’s chain. AJ, Aries, Sting, and Angle come down to chase them off. Hardy hits a Twist of Fate for the pin. Hardy gains 7.

    Bully Ray immediately hits a clothesline to take Hardy out. He seems conflicted and grabs the chain. Storm gets in the ring and they argue. Bully shoves Storm. Storm accidentally hits the Last Call on Hardy. Bully leaves and Storm checks on Hardy. Aces & 8’s get in the ring behind Storm and begin clapping. Taz and Tenay are convinced. Storm turns around and they pounce on him and give him a beating.

    The Ace’s and 8’s story is heating up and there is no telling where TNA is going next. I can’t wait. Got to love stream of consciousness typing while watching on the interwebs

    PNTnoir OUT!

     

     

     

  10. Pintnoir review-TNA iMPACT 8 9 12

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    We begin with a video recap of the Claire & AJ and Aces & 8’s storylines.

    Bully Ray heads down to the ring and pulls out his ‘Twittah machine.’ He bullie’s for a mic and asks if we know who he is. He announces that he’s the leader of the Bully Nation. He says Joseph Park taught him that if there’s enough evidence against someone, then they’re guilty. He says Storm is guilty of being involved with Aces & 8’s and tonight he will beat Storm and get his 7 points in the BFG Series. (Whatever did happen to the Joseph Parks, Bully Ray confrontation?)

    Storm’s comes out.

    Storm says had nothing to do with the attacks because he is more concerned with winning his title back. He draws an imaginary line in the ring and says he will give Bully to the count of 3 to do something.  Bully backs out onto the apron.

    They are interrupted by the masked men on the big screen and their voices have been distorted. They say they are impressed with The Insane Icon issuing them an open invitation but they are going to do it on their time.

    Bully gets in the ring and accuses Storm again. They cut him off to a sudden commercial.

    They re-play the Aces & 8’s video from moments ago.

    Backstage, The Pope talks about his BFG Series match at Hardcore Justice 2012 this Sunday. The Pope hasn’t actually been pimping anything but the mat since his return to iMPACT and I watched The Dark Knight Rises and didn’t remember seeing him during the prison break scene.

    Mr. Anderson comes out to do commentary

    .

     RVD vs. Magnus

    Magnus clotheslines RVD over the top. Magnus follows and puts the boots to him. Magnus throws him back in and gets 2. Magnus catches RVD and slams him for another 2. RVD hits a kick to the head and springs off the ropes for another kick to the head. RVD hits a Superkick but is caught with a clothesline in the corner.

    RVD hits a 5 Star Frogsplash for the win. There goes Magnus’s claim to the series and whatever came of his Xplosion championship stipulation where he can challenge the champion of any division for a title. Somebody please remember this.

    7 points RVD

    Bobby Roode talks backstage with Jason Hervey, and his lawyers aren’t happy with the contract so there may not be a main event at Hardcore Justice. So wouldn’t this make A Double happy seeing as how he is the Champion?

    Sore Loser! and I win!!!

    -Claire’s baby shower from last week

    TNA Tag Team Championship: Garett Bischoff & Devon vs. Kazarian & Daniels (c)

    Devon starts off with Kaz and quickly tags Garett. Kaz tags Daniels in and Garett gets 2. Devon tags back in and drops a big leg for 2. Garett tags back in and they double team Daniels. Kazarian distracts Garett from the apron and Daniels capitalizes. Kazarian tags in and gets 2. More quick tags from the champs.

    Garett manages a tag to Devon who cleans house. Devon hits a Rock Bottom on Kazarian and tosses Daniels out. Devon hits a spear on Kaz and a spinebuster on Daniels. Kaz uses the belt behind the ref’s back and Daniels gets the pin.

    *This is one of those matches where my dad (who looks strikingly like Devon) was watching as Daniels was struggling with Garett and looked at me and said why are we watching this its so fake. And I responded its not Devon, Daniels or Kaz’s fault blame Garett. He was still not impressed.

    Winners by pin and STILL TNA Tag Team Champions: Daniels & Kazarian

    -video of Sting and Brooke’s meeting from last week

    Sting calls out Aces & 8’s and says he has given Brooke the night off.

    Robbie E. and Robbie T. are in the ring, there is a table set-up. Robbie E. says he knows nobody thinks he’s going to win the BFG Series but he has 5 points, bro. He says he will win another 20 this Sunday, bro. He says he will do it by putting Jeff Hardy through a table. He shows footage from 3 weeks ago where he beat Hardy. Hardy’s music erupts.

    Hardy gets in the ring and drops Robbie T. Robbie E. tries to back-off but Hardy slaps him and tries to put him through the table but Robbie T. attacks him from behind and powerbombs him through the table.

    Backstage, AJ says he doesn’t remember anything with Claire. He says he doesn’t drink and how bad at sex does someone have to be to not remember being with them?

    Samoa Joe grabs a headset and says nobody is going to stop him from winning the BFG series

    Claire is at ringside again and cheers AJ as he makes his way to the ring.

    BFG Series: Kurt Angle vs. AJ Styles

    Angle gets drilled with a dropkick and goes outside. AJ slingshots over the top with a crossbody.

    Kurt powers AJ into the corner and hits a belly-to-belly as Claire looks-on. Angle applies a headlock. AJ fights out but Angle hits a Tilt-A-Whirl backbreaker and back to the headlock. Both men connect with simultaneous clotheslines. AJ gets the offense on the way up off the mat. Angle rebounds and hits a trifecta of Germans.

    AJ counters the Angle Slam and connects with the Pele but Angle gets his shoulder up at the last second. Angle counters the Styles Clash and hits the Angle Slam for 2. AJ gets out of the Angle Lock and hits a German but Angle counters out and applies the Lock again but AJ rolls through. AJ springs off the apron and hits a flying forearm and the Styles Clash but somehow Angle kicks out.

    AJ goes up top but Angle brings him down with a belly-to-belly but AJ kicks out. Angle misses with a moonsault off the ropes in the corner. AJ goes up top for a 450 but Angle gets his knees up and hits the Angle Slam.

    7 points Kurt Angle

    Claire congratulates AJ on his way up the ramp but he keeps walking and we get a close-up of her confused face.

    Aces & 8’s are playing cards. They rundown who all has received the dead man’s hand from them. They say the next target is close and we will all find out who the next victim is.

    Storm and Anderson accuse each other backstage of being behind it all.

    Aries is on the phone backstage talking about Roode threatening not to sign the contract.

    Gail Kim vs. Miss Tessmacher

    They go right at it before the bell rings. Kim drops Tessmacher’s throat across the top rope. Gail drops her across her knee and gets 2. Gail steps on Tessmacher’s stomach. Tessmacher mounts a comeback but is shutdown.

    Tessmacher hits a flurry and a clothesline off the corner. She does a Stinkface. Tessmacher brings Gail off the top and hits a facebuster for the win.

    Winner by pin: Miss Tessmacher

    Earl Hebner raises Tessmacher’s arm and they talk. Madison Rayne comes out and she kisses Hebner and he falls out.

    Joseph Park talks.

    Aries and Roode make their way to the Impact Zone.

    They show Kenny King’s win over Zema Ion from last week

    Kenny King video package

    Sting makes his way to the ring. A table is set-up. Sting invites Aces & 8’s to the ring. He moves on and invites Roode and Aries to the ring.

    Aries displays his title and takes a seat. Roode refuses to sit down and Sting asks him what is up with his attitude. Roode asks if Sting’s stupid. He says the contract is his problem. He says the contract states that if he loses to Aries then he doesn’t get a rematch as long as Aries is champ. Roode says Sting has it out for him. Roode says if the language doesn’t change, there will be no main event this Sunday.

    Aries tells him to stop whining. He says he’s worried about a rematch clause because he knows Aries has his number. Aries says they don’t need a contract, they can make a verbal agreement. He proposes that if Roode beats him then he will also forfeit his rematch clause. Sting tells them to shake on it. Each man shakes hands with Sting.

    Roode takes off his coat and starts throwing things and Aries comically mocks his temper and shadows him. Roode offers his hand and Aries shakes it. Aries raises the belt and Roode throws water in his face and runs away. Aries turns the table over but Sting holds him back.

    Storm and Bully make their way to the Impact Zone.

    -Backstage in an interview package, Chavo says he’s here to beat the best. Kid Kash says Chavo’s a cheater.

    -Kash & Gunner will face Chavo & Hernandez this Sunday at Hardcore Justice.

    -Kenny King will face Zema Ion for the TNA X-Division Title.

    -Miss Tessmacher will face Madison Rayne for the Knockouts Title

    –BFGFalls Count Anywhere Match for 20 points: RVD, Anderson, Pope, Magnus

    –BFGTables Match for 20 points: Hardy, Storm, Bully, Robbie E.

    –BFG Ladder Match for 20 points: Styles, Angle, Daniels, Samoa Joe

    BFG Series: Bully Ray vs. James Storm

    Both men look behind them for Aces & 8’s. Storm hits clotheslines but is unable to take Bully off his feet. Bully hits a big boot and knocks Storm down then tosses him out.

    Storm avoids an elbowdrop on the mat. Bully Ray catches him with a boot to the gut and applies a leg lock. Storm reverses it and Bully reaches the ropes. Bully hits a clothesline for 2. Bully hits punches to the head. Storm mounts a comeback with a series of rights and a neckbreaker. Back bodydrop by Storm. Bully launches Storm onto the apron but gets a kick to the back of the head. Bully hits a Rock Bottom for 2.

    Storm fights out of a full nelson and goes up top for a cross body and gets 2. Storm comes off the top and misses with an elbowdrop. Bully hits the Bubba Bomb and gets 2. Bully misses with a back-splash off the top. Storm hits a Codebreaker but Bully avoids the Last Call. Bully hits the Bully 3D Cutter for the win.

    7 points  Bully Ray

    Bully grabs his chain in anticipation of Aces & 8’s. He asks Storm where they are. He says send for them.

    Aces & 8’s appear on the screen and they tell Bully he will see more of them at the PPV.

    Pintnoir out!