Tag Archive: Mark Henry

  1. Raw Es Mexicano 10-17-11

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    Ésta noche, estamos en México D.F. para Raw. Pues, voy a blogear totalmente en español para celebrar.

    According to my professors, I couldn’t write good in Spanish so I better quit while I’m ahead. (And yes, my grammatical error is there completely for irony.) All I said was tonight, we are in Mexico City for Raw. So, I’m going to blog totally in Spanish to celebrate. (Or something equivalent to that)

    Last week, we suffered through one of the worst Raws since Katie Vick. If I were personally not committed to do the Raw blog, I would have switched to Fox and watched House or something. I still have faith that somehow they will turn this around.

    We start off the night with Super Dave Osborne in the ring. He is so awful on the mic. The wrong Dynamic Dude is speaking. (Shane Douglas, where are you?) He brings back Jim Ross. I haven’t seen a more emotionless hug since Hollywood Hogan hugged “in-the-rafters” Sting. He makes a match. Cole/Del Rio vs. Ross/Cena. At least we know who’ll win.

    Randy Orton comes out. The crowd acted like it was Juanes. In accordance with the art of Lucha Libre, we get a 6-man tag. Orton/John Morrison/Sheamus versus Christian/Cody Rhodes/Mark Henry. The crowd hung off of every move Randy Orton made. Orton & Rhodes were not long for this match as they got to go to the back and fight. It was a nice match. I really feel that Henry is coming into his own as a top guy. The John Morrison Future Endeavors tour continued as he was probably killed by Mark Henry.

    No matter what happens here, it could be worse. I could be seeing that awful movie In Time.

    We got some more time with Broadus Clay. He isn’t a bad speaker. After the Bellas hung on Johnny Ace, they can only go up. Eve is making her way to the ring. I will take this opportunity to pee. It took longer than I intended. I have no idea what happened.

    After the commercial, we got CM Punk and then Awesome Truth came out. They cut a promo on Punk and he just stood there and smiled. This was a decent match. My satellite went out so I have no idea what happened. Punk got a roll-up and won.

    We had Jack Swagger escorted by Dolph and Vickie. She looked really nice in her traditional Mexican dress. And yes, she said “Excuse me” in Spanish. They really got the crowd going. They were very good with them. Then we were saved by my daughter’s favorite wrestler, Zack Ryder. My daughter doesn’t know any wrestlers. She just says, “Woo woo woo.” Zack Ryder get a pin in record time. After they start a beatdown on Ryder, he is saved by Matista.

    Ziggler did a good job carrying the Walking Wellness Violation. Matista got disqualified for… I have no idea.

    Then JR and John Cena had a little back and forth and then Cole heeled the crowd.

    The main event turned out to be an ok match. For it to be a good match, I have to believe Cena can lose.

    This was not as bad as last week’s Raw. We are still stuck with Super Dave Osborne, but the crowd was hot and made the wrestlers seem important. There is plenty that can be improved, but for tonight, I’ll rest on not hating it.

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  2. Smackdown: 10/14/11. This has to be better than RAW

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    Egad, RAW was horrible this week. I’m not even going to bother getting into it, instead turn the page to everybody’s favorite “B” Show. So, let’s just hop into it… shall we? Oh, and if you haven’t heard, it looks like Dave Lagana has jumped from ROH to TNA. Totally unrelated, I know.
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  3. Raw Is Vacant 10-10-2011

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    Well, words escaped the end of last week’s Raw. That was one of the most surreal Raws I ever saw. Now it’s time to see how the WWE follows it up. The announcer’s seats are empty. We get a nice perspective of the back area. And we get to start with Triple H. Surprise. And after HHH’s entrance, there’s only 15 minutes left of Raw, so no worries there. The superstars are outside and waiting for HHH to step down. Then he panders worse than Hogan’s cup to the ear thing. And just when you thought it couldn’t get any worse, the Confederate Warrior himself John Cena comes to the ring. We get serious John Cena. He didn’t sound so scripted. And then comes out my Pasty White Hero, Sheamus. He’s still with HHH. Then Punk comes out. He’s still with HHH. He makes a match. Cena vs. Sheamus with Punk on commentary and HHH as ref.

    Commercial break. I have been without caffeine for 2 days. Any more Red Robin commercials, I will need to be held down.

    After the commercial Vince McMahon comes out. Everyone’s heart sunk. Vince likes watching Raw at home. Board of Directors met about this situation. HHH is no longer running Raw. The new person running Raw is Super Dave Osborne. If I was not doing this review, I would be watching 2 Broke Girls on DVR.

    Brian Wilson is on my tv. All of a sudden, Super Dave Osborne isn’t so bad.

    Now all the wrestlers are coming back in. John Morrison tells Johnny Ace he sucks. Then he continues his burial tour against Christian. My wife notices Morrison has shaved his face. She acted like I did when Nelson Cruz hit his grand slam. Morrison was squashed. Then Ziggler, Swagger & Rhodes take out Morrison.

    Then HHH threatens Super Dave.

    Then Randy Orton and Mark Henry had a match. Cody Rhodes interferes. DQ. Mark Henry beats him up a few times. Randy Orton is ridiculously stale.

    We had Kelly Kelly & Eve vs. Rosa & Tamina. We’ve still got psycho angry Kelly. Eve pins Tamina. Poor Tamina. Super Dave asks JR to come into the ring. Really? At this point in his career, what are you going to do to JR they haven’t already done? Super Dave is so awful on the mic. He just sounds like he’s reciting a script. He fired JR.

    We get Matista & AirBoom vs. Swagger, Ziggler & Otunga. This is the best match of the night so far by default. The highlight was the powerbomb Jack Swagger did on Evan Bourne. I have nothing against Matista/Mason Ryan. He just looks like he couldn’t pass a piss test.

    John Cena’s movie looks awful. And I like Ethan Embry.

    Punk and Del Rio were fighting until Super Dave stopped it and reinstated Awesome Truth. I stopped caring during this match. I was impressed by what I saw from ADR. The work in this match was really good. I just felt like I was watching House-no show is ever new; I just watch out of habit. Miz/Truth were disqualified and then HHH came to Punk’s rescue.

    This is without a doubt the worst Raw I have seen in a long time. This is just as bad as Katie Vick era or the night the nWo started demolishing the Nitro set. The first 15 minutes were brilliant and then it was just like a fart in church from there. They most likely killed drawing in Oklahoma and I would be surprised to see their ratings higher than 2.5. Not saying all hope is lost. But something needs to change.

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  4. Smackdown 10/07/11: WWE Walk Out Fall Out.

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    Last Monday night, the entire WWE roster (sans CM Punk, John Cena, Randy Orton and Sheamus) held a vote of confidence in HHH as the COO. The result? They all walked out on him, including the referees, announcers, and many of the technical crew. So how will this affect tonight’s episode of Smackdown? Will anyone show up? Or will we just see HHH standing in the middle of the ring shrugging his shoulders for two hours?

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  5. Raw Is Chaos 10-3-11

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    I would like to begin this by wishing Mother Ruff a very happy [age deleted]th birthday. The Rangers are giving us heart attacks. The Cowboys embarrass themselves against the Lions. And as happy as that makes me, the Eagles can’t win either. I missed last night’s Hell in a Cell. Due to a HUGE weekend, it was just too much to go out on a Sunday night. From what I hear, there was a  lot of chaos and a lot of questions to have to answer.

    It seems like tonight’s Raw has some major buzz. Randy Orton comes out first and kills my buzz. Drew McIntyre is already in the ring and gets no entrance theme. Thanks for spoiling the end of the first match, WWE. This was a little more than a squash. McIntyre got his share of offense in. The crowd seemed to be really into Randy Orton. But does he make you tune into the show? I can think of 1.98 reasons why he doesn’t. Orton pinned him in what was a decent opener. Kudos to McIntyre for making him look good. Then he attacks McIntyre after the match. Why is he a face?

    Mark Henry came out and they fought each other. Security kept on trying to hold them back and they kept on attacking each other. A great visual.

    We had a Mark Henry video package. Then John Morrison continued his “About to Be Future Endeavored” tour against Mark Henry. Morrison got some offense before Mark Henry kicked out of Morrison’s finisher. Mark Henry grabbed the mic. He is done with Randy Orton. He wants Big Show.

    Super Dave Osborne is giving the heels a pep talk. All 6 are going to the ring. (At this point, my wife fell asleep, for those of you curious.)

    Alberto del Rio speaks. As much as I loathe that it’s Otunga getting the ball, I like that they are finding a common theme among everything that is happening. Each rep got to cut their promo about how they are being wronged. And then Vickie grabbed the mic. You would have thought she was Michelle Bachman at an Atheist’s convention. And then HHH came out and told them they weren’t men or something. I like the thought and concept; the execution is not doing it for me.

    We got Eve & Kelly fighting Beth & Nattie. Kelly & Eve gave Beth & Nattie a beatdown. I don’t think this was a match. I saw some fire from Kelly. I liked it.

    Super Dave Osborne apologized to HHH. He called for a vote of “no confidence.”

    Rock is on my tv. My wife woke up. Jinder Mahal started speaking a foreign language. That must mean we’re supposed to boo him. Marella grabbed the mic and started mocking Mahal’s language. Classy. Santino squashed Mahal. Mahal must be opening for Morrison on his “About to Be Future Endeavored” tour.

    Broadus Clay footage. He’s like a walking zip code.

    The footage of the beatdown was unreal. All the wrestlers were out there, heels and faces alike. There are so many questions to be answered here. Miz and Truth apologized (ish).

    Then there was the 12-man match. We had “Never Pissed in a Cup” Mason Ryan. Sheamus got in some good offense. Cody Rhodes had some good moments and looked good. This was pretty good for a cluster. Kofi did the face in peril very well. The crowd loved it. Even my wife who happened to wake up again noticed Evan Bourne come in and go to town. This crowd was so wild all night. They did the spot where everybody did their finishers. Then Sheamus got the pin. I thought the match would be a lot worse than it was. It was given the time it needed.

    All the wrestlers came out and stood ringside. So everybody stands ringside while HHH gets the center of attention. This is so ridiculous. He needs to take himself off tv. And out of all the superstars, the one who gets the mic… Wade Barrett? Then Mike Chioda gets a mic? Me like. Then Beth gets a mic. “We’re girls.” Really? Then Lawler gets in the ring with HHH. Everything is out of control, but it’s not HHH’s fault. There’s a puppeteer behind the scenes. Who is it? Everybody votes no confidence, including Lawler, who did it kind of reluctantly. Then, one by one, factions walked out, the last being JR. What a surreal Raw.

    This has to be the most surreal Raw I have seen since ECW and WCW joined forces and the best Raw since CM Punk cut “The Promo.” So many questions abound.

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  6. Random Randomness

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    WOW October already!  Where has this year gone?  Next thing it’ll be Halloween followed by the greatest day of them all followed by Christmas then it’ll be 2012.  But it’s still 2011 and right now is here and well land we still have a lot goings on in the world. (more…)

  7. Smackdown: 09/30/11

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    What’s up? Looks like I am reviewing Smackdown for the foreseeable future, which is a nice change of scenery for me. Granted, I still tune into Impact Wrestling, at times one feels like they are writing the same thing week in and week out. So I we shuffle the deck at the BWF, the subsequent result is anywhere these “reviews” appear will be for the Friday Night WWE B Show.

    That being said, we’ll see how I do with this official shift… No real sleep yesterday due to a fun case of food poisoning will mean I get to this episode quite tired…

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  8. Raw Is Dedicated to Mr. Peppermint 9-26-11

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    For those of you who have no idea who Mr. Peppermint is, click here. His show, Peppermint Palace, was on every Saturday morning on ABC at 6 (or 5, I don’t remember). His show meant Saturday morning cartoons were going to start. And that was back when you didn’t have Nick Jr. or Cartoon Network. This was the highlight of your week. So a moment of silence and respect to Mr. Peppermint.

     

    We have some questions from last week’s Raw. What will come of “on-fire” Alberto del Rio? What of Miz and Truth being fired? What injury will Tony Romo suffer? What indy promotion do I want to get next and do a review on? (I’m thinking Chikara.)

     

    We start off with Triple H. I look at upcoming Chikara and AAW shows. My AIW show is on its way. Triple H was interrupted by Vickie Guerrero. And yet, people still booed her. Ziggler sounded really good. Ziggler and Triple H played off each other really well. Then Cody Rhodes interrupted. And then Christian interrupted. Christian gets lots of matches. Ziggler fights Zack Ryder. Cody Rhodes gets a Battle Royal.

     

    This was a pretty good fast Battle Royal. Cody Rhodes retained.

     

    After the break, Super Dave Osborne is talking to “Not-so-Super” David Otunga. Apparently, he is still a lawyer even if he’s not practicing. Oh, the stupid… It burns.

     

    We got a tag match. Nattie/Beth vs. Eve/Kelly. We got a Kelly Kelly video package. We need more of these. The crowd actually seemed to care about this match. Beth pinned the champion. Hopefully we get Beth winning more. Her and Nattie are a really good duo.

     

    Mark Henry took apart Great Khali. It was an awesome image and added credibility to his tear of destruction.

     

    John Cena cut a promo. Kansas City thought he was the Chiefs because there were some cheers, but a lot more boos. Then Del Rio came out ringside. Del Rio was doing commentary with his wrestling tights on. Then Punk came out with his announcer’s jacket. This match ended in a DQ. This was the best way to do this. Christian didn’t lose.

     

    We got Zack Ryder vs. Dolph Ziggler. We got to plug Hugh Jackman’s film. Ziggler looked really good in this match. Due to some outside interference by Jack Swagger, we got a tainted Ziggler victory. Air Boom came to Ryder’s rescue.

     

    Teddy Long made a match: AirBoom/Ryder vs. Swagger/Ziggler in a handicap match. This was a fun match. The crowd was really into it. Vickie went out and found a soon-to-be-suspended Mason Ryan, affectionately known as “Matista.” He’s a heel still. As soon as Mason Ryan was tagged it, he was a heel no more. He took out Team Vickie. Why did he do that? Interesting question.

     

    Not-so-Super David Otunga is talking to the boys in the locker room. He’s creating a lawsuit. I like this. It’s creating an interesting storyline.

     

    Our main event was ADR vs. CM Punk. This was a really decent match. Punk won. Then the cage lowered. Punk and Cena destroyed Ricardo Rodriguez and then ADR destroyed the other two with a chair.

     

    This was a pretty good Raw, but then again, I DVR’d it so I didn’t have to sit through the stuff I didn’t want to see. But a lot of questions are raised. And I’m really digging the build-up for Hell in a Cell.

     

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  9. Random Randomness

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    Well it’s me again back with another edition of this very article for you reading enjoyment or something.  I hope you enjoyed some of what I did last week since I may be doing more of it in the future.  But it’s not about the past, it’s about the present, so lets get this show on the road: (more…)

  10. Smackdown: 09/23/11

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    Since my DVR selectively chose not to record Impact last night, I opted to give Smackdown a chance. Did it record? I hope so, but you wouldn’t be reading this sentence if it did not.

    Probably the biggest story, or strongest, is that Mark Henry won the title from Orton last Sunday. It took him fifteen years to do it, and he has no inclination to accept praise from the fans. They never rooted for him before, so why should he care now? Let’s see how this episode unfolds, shall we?

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    Got my ducks in a row this week… I hope.

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