Greetings, everyone! This is a new one. Since I now get HDNet, thanks to my move, I am officially the only BWF staffer who can review Ring of Honor’s Monday night show. As they ARE the only hour of pro wrestling on Monday nights, I’m quite happy to do so. Our fearless leader, ThinkSoJoE, will continue to provide you with excellent coverage of “Smackdown” on Friday nights. (more…)
Welcome all to another edition of Random Randomness. It’s been a long week with a lot going on here in JTland , so without further ado, lets get this show on the road: (more…)
Well folks, it’s been a few months since this column has popped up here at BoredWrestlingFan. I figured that this week would be the perfect time to resurrect it, with the return of “The War on Everything” this past Wednesday and the lack of “Random Randomness” as JT takes today off as part of his extended birthday celebration.
To the tune of ‘Manic Monday’ by the Bangles, you can follow the song by clicking HERE.
It’s that time already
I was just eating some chocolate ice cream
I’ve been thinking all day
About my column and what should be its theme
But it can’t be late
‘Cause then it’s Thursday and it wont be right
These are the days
I wish that Vinnie had a show every night
It’s just a column on a Wednesday
At least it’s not every day
Then I’d have no fun day
Thank Joe it’s only one day
It’s just a column on a Wednesday
I think I need a miracle
‘Cause all I see on my screen is white
I’m running out of time
and I’ve still got nothing to write
‘Cause it takes me so long
Just to figure out what I’m gonna say
I post a YouTube clip or two
And everything is a-ok
It’s just a column on a Wednesday
At least it’s not every day
Then I’d have no fun day
Thank Joe it’s only one day
It’s just a column on a Wednesday
Why in my mind
Did I choose to make fun of a Bangles song
It’s just too hard
Does it really matter
That it’s hard to change the words
I’ll just write anything down
A giant has a big voice
and Mimes, they don’t make a noise
Time for a ke-bab
and a Hot Cross Bun
It’s just a column on a Wednesday
At least it’s not every day
Then I’d have no fun day
Thank Joe it’s only one day
It’s just a column on a Wednesday
At least it’s not every day
Then I’d have no fun day
It’s just a column on a Wednesday
Wednesday. The only day in the week where there is zero wrestling on your TV. Monday Nights are RAW, Tuesdays have ECW. Thursdays make an iMPACT. Friday nights have SmackDown! Saturday Nights are ROH and Sundays are for Pay-Per-View. Where does that leave Wednesday? Luckily, at BoredWrestlingFan, yours truly has completed your weekly wrestling fix.
WWE Judgment Day
I actually made predictions in last week’s column, if thats what you want to call them. Let’s see if my wishes came true.
Umaga def. CM Punk
I got this one wrong. Infact, judging by the length of this match. This wasnt a 30 minute match was it? It wasnt even a 10 minute match. No, it was more like this …
Christian def. Jack Swagger
Who didnt see this coming a mile away huh? Christian won. Personally, I dont see why Jack Swagger cant win, I mean, he’s been in commercials. At least, I think it’s him, it sure sounds like him. Here, judge for yourself.
John Morrison def. Shelton Benjamin
This shows you just how much means in the scheme of things, that as of last Wednesday, this match was not announced for the Pay Per View. Which means, that this match had at most exactly four days build up. Four Days People! How can you build a PPV match in four days? It’s just like working out if the contractors building the Death Star knew what they were getting into? I’ll let Dante and Randal explain.
Well it looks like my dreams didnt come true. Rey Mysterio didnt get Swine Flu nor did he get booted back to Mexico. Perhaps I should’ve gotten JBL to do it. Rather than comment on this match, why not show it to you. I present to you, Rey Mysterio vs Chris Jericho.
Batista def. Randy Orton by DQ (Orton retains WWE Championship)
Randy cheats to win, so Big Dave doesnt win the title. Hooray for Randy, thank you for not letting that useless lug win the title. It’s good to see they might let Randy hold the title for a few months, or at least until this man comes back. However, spoiler note, Randy Orton scheduled to defend the WWE Championship three times during RAW’s tour of Australia and New Zealand in early July. Before you ask, no I’m not going, my birthday is too close to the touring dates (the last day of the tour is the day before my birthday), which means that chances are, Randy isnt losing the title before then.
Wasn’t Batista a Body Builder?
John Cena def. Big Show
First off, did you know John Cena gave driving tips? Secondly, if anyone actually thought that Big Show was going to win at Judgment Day should not be allowed to be a wrestling fan ever again. Thirdly, don’t you pay attention to rhymes? Fourthly and finally, Are we gonna have a shower or what?
Edge def. Jeff Hardy
Edge retains the World Heavyweight Championship, which means for the first time in a long while, all major titles have been retained at the one PPV. Which is good, considering I was at a concert the other night and was surprised to see Jeff Hardy reforming his old band. Here’s a clip.
No TNA this week, I went through a fair bit last week and the only thing that has been added is that Jeff Jarrett is now a part of the Title match at Sacrifice. That’s J-E-Double FJ-A-Double R-E-Double T. What is he Sacrificing in order to be in the match? Why ownership of TNA of course. Judging by that, my prediction is, either Angle loses or Foley loses. My guess, Angle loses to Foley.
Wednesday. The only day in the week where there is zero wrestling on your TV. Monday Nights are RAW, Tuesdays have ECW. Thursdays make an iMPACT. Friday nights have SmackDown! Saturday Nights are ROH and Sundays are for Pay-Per-View. Where does that leave Wednesday? Luckily, at BoredWrestlingFan, yours truly has completed your weekly wrestling fix.
Judgment Day is this Sunday according to WWE programming. Didnt they just have a PPV last month? Anyways, it’s time to sort out just who will win. But first, check out the awesome video for the PPV!
CM Punk vs Umaga
Remember what I said last month about CM Punk’s match at Backlash and how he only gets matches because the WWE thinks the fans want to see him? This is another one of those matches. This match means absolutely nothing to anyone, except for Umaga, because he’s actually getting used on a PPV. Punk win, just because the event is held in his hometown of Chicago. I have nothing more to say about this, because I dont care.
Rey Mysterio vs Chris Jericho – Intercontinental Championship
Tough one. Submission match. Crossface vs Walls of Jericho. Can Jericho win the IC belt from Benoit, or will Benoit retain? I’m gonna say Benoit, but it’s tough for me to decide either way … wait … it’s not Benoit in the match, it’s Rey Mysterio vs Jericho? The IC title’s on the line. What is this? The year 2000? Jericho wins. Someone boot that little Mexican back over the border where he belongs. Oh, and I hope het gets swine flu.
Christian vs Jack Swagger – ECW Championship
Christian wins. I suppose I’d better add something else here. Here we go, the greatest RAW match of all time according to yours truly. Part One.
John Cena vs the Big Show
Like I said in last week’s column. John Cena needs to learn to sell injures a lot more. He was thrown into a spotlight by the Show at Backlash and this past week, he was in a match against the Miz. 15 Days after being thrown in a spotlight, John Cena wrestled. That is just ridiculous. However, I’ve seen this match before. Infact, it happened at a Judgment Day, several years ago …
This past week on RAW, Batista refused the chance to join a group including Randy Orton. I dont see why he refused, I mean, it wouldnt be the first time Batista has joined in the same group as Randy Orton. Maybe Randy should’ve offered 100,000 as well.
Two former Evolution members go head to head with the gold on the line. Both were World Champion during Evolution. Both beat Triple H for their first title reigns. Batista has a penis for a head and Randy Orton has a penis for a stablemate, as well as Ted DiBiase. Randy wins, but let’s just hope that this match doesnt go the same way as this one …
They have a PPV coming up too, it’s called Sacrifice and the main event is for the TNA Title. Champion Mick Foley defends against Kurt Angle and Sting, in a match that is sure to push the young talent that TNA say they are doing.
However, each man must Sacrifice something in order to compete and if they get pinned, then they lose what they sacrifice to the person that pinned them. Sounds simple, doesnt it? I know, a real shocker coming from TNA. So, your question now is, just what exactly is everyone Sacrifing? Well, let me tell you …
If they lose …
If Mick Foley gets pinned, he loses the TNA Heavyweight Title
If Kurt Angle gets pinned, he gives up leadership of The Main Event Mafia
If Sting gets pinned, he has vowed to never wrestle again
Also on the card, is as follows:
I-QUIT MATCH FOR THE TNA LEGENDS CHAMPIONSHIP
Booker T vs. “The Phenomenal” AJ Styles
Who cares? I believe AJ became Champ, so he could be the first TNA Grand Slam Champion. TNA KNOCKOUT WOMEN’S CHAMPIONSHIP
Champion Angelina Love vs. Awesome Kong
I hope Kong eats her. I really do. Cannibalism on PPV will make me want to watch TNA more.
MAIN EVENT MAFIA VS. TNA FRONTLINE
Kevin Nash vs. Samoa Joe
The teacher versus the student. Remember when Nash mentored Joe? Big Kev mustn’t be a good tutor, because Joe has found himself a new tutor. Speaking of this match, Scott Hall won’t be getting involved, let Joe tell you.
THE FIRST-EVER KNOCKOUTS MONSTER’S BALL
Check back for the complete lineup
THE FINALS OF THE TEAM 3D TOURNAMENT
The winners get a shot at the TNA World Tag Team Title *cough* Beer Money win *cough*
Well, thats it. Stay tuned next week, when I, will hopefully provide not only my weekly Wednesday column, but also, a special May 19th column, in honour of Kane.
Wednesday. The only day in the week where there is zero wrestling on your TV. Monday Nights are RAW, Tuesdays have ECW. Thursdays make an iMPACT. Friday nights have SmackDown! Saturday Nights are ROH and Sundays are for Pay-Per-View. Where does that leave Wednesday? Luckily, at BoredWrestlingFan, yours truly has completed your weekly wrestling fix.
WWE
Superstars: I dont actually watch this show each week. I’m assuming it isnt as good as the opening video for the 1996 version however. 1996 Opening Intro
Smackdown: It seems my predictions from previous columns have come true. Jeff Hardy has become #1 contender and Chris Jericho looks like wrestling Rey Rey for the Intercontinental Championship. I’d like to see John Morrison’s singles push truly begin, maybe start him off in the IC Title feud, then by the end of the year have him up at the World Title level.
ECW: Christian’s Champ and it seems his challengers are Swagger, Henry and Dreamer. So they bring over Kozlov and yet don’t put in the title picture. Instead, they have him against jobbers. Why draft Kozlov over then? He could be doing that on SmackDown!
RAW: Shane McMahon os NOT the Hulk. Even though his last name is McMahon, he does not have super mega ultra powers. It sickens me to watch Shane O hold his own against one of Legacy, let alone three. God I hope Batista doesnt win at Judgment Day. For whatever God it is that exists in the world, please don’t let Batista win.
TNA
iMPACT: Lashley has done a grand total of NOTHING so far. MotorCity Machine Guns and LAX were knocked out of the Tag Team tournament, which means it looks like an easy path through to the final for Beer Money Inc. Daniels is accused of being Suicide. Daniels denies and will continue to deny until Kaz is back and able to wrestle, then they will both appear in the ring at the same time, confusing the hell outta everyone. Then they will take off the Suicide mask and realize it was Mr. Dean, the Farmer. Then Mr. Dean will say that he woulda gotten away with it too, if it werent for those MotorCity Machine Guns.
Short-ish but sweet, just the way I like it. Dont forget to check out all the details about the Priceless Wedding over at VinceRussoWatchesHisBeardGrow.com. I am the REAL Legend Killer, reminding you, that the Daschund is the best dog to have sex with.
Wednesday. The only day in the week where there is wrestling on your TV. Monday Nights are RAW, Tuesdays have ECW. Thursdays make an iMPACT. Friday nights have SmackDown! Saturday Nights are ROH and Sundays are for Pay-Per-View. Where does that leave Wednesday? Luckily, at BoredWrestlingFan, yours truly has completed your weekly wrestling fix.
WWE Backlash
Backlash has been and gone. Matches were won and lost, and i didnt do any predictions. So, let’s just examine the happenings.
Christian def. Jack Swagger to become new ECW Champion.
Well, well. He finally wins the title. I knew that sooner or later he was gonna win. But the big question remains. Does this count as a major title win? I know that the ECW Championship counts as a major championship, but I, along with several other people, doesnt see the ECW Championship as nothing more than a re badged European Championship. Is this the stepping stone to Main Event level for Christian? My guess is no, as he needs to step up an extra couple of rungs up the ladder before he makes true Main Event status.
Chris Jericho def. Ricky Steamboat
Nice to see Jericho got the win. A loss here would have destroyed the small amount of credibility he has left. Also, I hope this is the end for Steamboat. He may still be able to go a little, but that doesnt mean that he should go a little. The novelty has worn off for Steamboat. As for Jericho, hopefull SmackDown! pushes him back up to Championship status, although seeing him stare down the Intercontinental Champion during the Draft coverage a few weeks back, spells his future.
Kane def. CM Punk
The relevance of this match? Filler. Thats all it was. they made up some thing about Kane being upset about not winning Money in the Bank at WrestleMania, but that did a rather lame job of hiding the fact that this match was only put there to fill up the card. Sadly, this match got in and yet the US Title, the Tag Titles, the IC Title and both Womens Titles didnt get defended. Just goes to show you how much the WWE think people want to see CM Punk. Even if the matches don’t mean anything.
Jeff Hardy def. Matt Hardy
This match was an I Quit match. If I am forced to sit down, and watch this Vampiro ripoff anymore, then I will quit. I do not understand how this guy is popular. Do they feel sorry for him because his house burned down? Do they feel sorry for him because he thought the name of this PPV was ‘Cracklash’? But seriously, I have no idea how Jeff Hardy got pushed, whereas Matt, the better of the two Hardys, didnt. Jeff became WWE Champion. He beat Edge for the belt, and was challenging former champion Triple H all the way. Yes, thats right, Triple H. The same Triple H whom Jeff Hardy beat for the Intercontinental Title back in 2001. Whereas Matt Hardy, well he beat Chavo Guerrero for the ECW Championship. The same ECW Championship that I referred to as a re badged European Championship earlier. I wonder what will happen now that they are on different shows? My guess is, Matt Hardy will do nothing, whilst Jeff challenges for the World Title.
Khali Kiss Cam
Joke. Santina loves JR and Khali beats up Beth Phoenix. What has Beth Phoenix done to piss someone off? She must’ve done something real bad to be invovled in this Santina/Santino, To-may-to/To-ma-to let’s call the whole thing off nonsense. Thats what they should do with Santina Marella. Call the whole thing off. it’s becoming more ridiculous by the second. Nice way to destroy Beth’s career.
Legacy def. Trips, Shane O and PenisHead, meaning Randy Orton is new WWE Champion
Oh my god, the all mighty Triple H got beaten. What ever will we do? I know, send Penishead after him. He’ll save the day! Newsflash. Deacon Dave is inept. The only thing he’s good for is holding collection boxes. On the other hand, having Randy as champ is a big PLUS. Now, why couldnt they have Orton win at ‘Mania? Surely that would’ve been the best time to have him win the belt.
Edge def. John Cena to become World Heavyweight Champion
Edge win the belt, with a very big assist from the Big Show. Let me make this loud and clear. John Cena is NOT Hulk Hogan. John Cena is NOT some sort of being with superhuman powers. John Cena is NOT a member of the X-Men. Is Edge not good enough to beat John Cena on his own? Does the major title on SmackDown!, have to change more than Vickie Guerrero does love interests? However Ladies and Gentlemen and this is where they really grind my gears. John Cena, appeared on RAW. Thats right, just one day after being thrown into a spotlight, John Cena appears the next night. Hulk Hogan sold more in his career, than John Cena ever will. I hope Edge holds the belt for awhile, unless he loses it to Jericho. Anyone else, and it will be a travesty.
TNA
Have I missed anything? Oh yeah, they have a PPV coming up. It’s like they have one every month or something. Anyways, the up-coming PPV is Sacrifice and Mick Foley will defend his belt against … well it could be a list of people. From Bug-Eyed Lashley, to BrokeNeck Angle, to Stung, to Mike Tyson’s lookalike. The list goes on and on. Also, theres a Tag Team Tournament to determine the #1 contender for the gold. The winner also receives a trophy and $100,000. If Beer Money doesnt win the tournament, then their belts back, then once again, it’s a travesty.
The Rest
Just some short little tidbits here. Whomever entered the competition won. You all win jack, and shit. Thank you for entering.
Finally, don’t forget my review of the WWE Vintage Collection will be up at WorldWrestlingInsanity.com inside the next 24 hours, so go check that out. Also, check out the various videos and toilet breaks throughout the review.
I am the REAL Legend Killer, reminding you to stay away from fat chicks, as you might end up with swine flu.
Wednesday. The only day in the week where there is wrestling on your TV. Monday Nights are RAW, Tuesdays have ECW. Thursdays make an iMPACT. Friday nights have SmackDown! Saturday Nights are ROH and Sundays are for Pay-Per-View. Where does that leave Wednesday? Luckily, at BoredWrestlingFan, yours truly has completed your weekly wrestling fix.
TNA Lockdown
I’ve been promoting this PPV for weeks. I even talked about this PPV during Wrestlemania week, without talking about Wrestlemania. With all that said, did they let me down? Well, it depends on which way you look at it.
For those who watched it, I’ve heard mixed reactions, although some of these reactions have come from the same TNA bashers each week who have watched previous PPVs in the past and think that the rest will be the same. However, right here on this very website, our very own Drowgoddess, thought the PPV was at least decent. Infact, she enjoyed it. I didnt watch it, and Drow did, so I will take her word on how good it was. But that doesnt mean I have nothing to say.
How can Team 3D, have numerous ‘Rough Cuts’ segments, stating how they help the young guys, that they’re not there to be selfish and that they’re there to put over the young guys. Then why in the hell, did they NOT put over Beer Money Inc. at Lockdown? Was it because it was in Philly, your ‘hometown’ so to speak? Brother Ray, Brother Devon, since when did you guys become Bret Hart? It shouldnt matter if your ‘home’ or away, if the jobs to be done, then the jobs to be done. There is absolutely no reason why Team 3D should be the Tag Team Champions at this moment. It seems that you lie to your wrestling school, when you say you help the young guys, because all you done at Lockdown, was squash all the momentum James Storm and Robert Roode had. Thanks a lot Team 3D.
Suicide needs to be someone new, and not guys like Daniels or Kaz. if Suicide was a new guy, then you could have guys like Daniels, Kaz and Suicide on the roster, whereas this way, only one of Daniels and Kaz can be on the roster, otherwise one will be pulling double-duty every night. Daniels has just come back to the roster as himself, but he also donned the Suicide outfit for Lockdown, which means he wrestled two matches in the night, when he shouldnt of had to. Many people could complain as to why you turned a video game character into a real-life character, but I’m not one of those. The only thing that upsets me about Suicide, is that it isnt someone new in that suit.
Angelina Love won the KnockOuts belt. It gives Awesome Kong the chance for some time off, which is a good thing. However, is it such a godd thing for everything else. The Beautiful People is a good heel group in the KnockOuts division, especially since Kute Kip stopped hanging around, and they recruited Madison Rayne. The problem with Angelina Love with the belt is this, she has zero ability. It would be like, Lauren winning the belt. Thats how much ability she has, and plus, it will probably lead to a rift between Love and fellow members Velvet Sky and Madison Rayne, which will lead to the break-up of the group, which can only mean bad things for TNA. Sure, they have SoJo Bolt and Rhaka Khan as heels, but against the face core of Taylor Wilde, Roxxi, ODB, Kong, Raisha Saeed and Daffney, it is pivotial in this columnist’s opinion that they dont break up the Beautiful People over the title. But I suppose, like everything else in the world, only time will tell.
MotorCity Machine Guns retained the belts. Nice to see TNA actually see them as a Tag Team champion, even if it is only the Junior IWGP Tag Team Champions. They’re still champions. A note to Team 3D, have these guys beat you for your Tag gold. Thats right, you say you help the young guys, but you’d just rather squash. Sorry for suggesting you actually lose clean.
ODB won Queen of the Cage, thus becoming #1 contender for the KnockOuts title. Who is that guy with her? Since when did they hire Joe Dirt? JT would’ve been a better winner.
Abyss, Matt Morgan, Tean Jarrett and Team Angle? Meh.
Sting and Mick Foley. We have a new champion folks, and it’s Mick Foley. You know Mick Foley, he was thrown off a cage in 1996. He won his first major title as Mankind in 1998. It’s nice to see Sting putting over the young guys. Great job, Sting! I dont care how good the match may have been. It’s a joke that Foley is champ. Isnt he the Commish, or the Executive Shareholder or something like that? How can an authority figure win the belt? It’s like when Vince McMahon won the 1998 Royal Rumble, only Foley’s win makes no sense. Foley equals Ratings, bullshit. Pushing the young guys, and providing an actual wrestling show. That equals Ratings.
WWE Backlash
The Pay-Per-View is this Sunday. You think i’m lying don’t you? I promise you, I’m not. I wish I was though, because the matches they are providing doesnt exactly show a ‘great’ PPV. let me show you.
The Main Event has the Legacy (Randy Orton, Ted DiBiase and Cody Rhodes), face off against the team of Shane McMahon, Batista and the WWE Champion, Triple H. The stipulation is as follows. If any members of Randy Orton’s team wins, then Randy Orton wins the title, however, if any members of Triple H’s team wins, then Triple H retains the title. Judging by the tension between Shane and Batista on RAW the past weeks, and Batista’s spear on Shane during the Orton/HHH NoDQ match on RAW this past week, I can say with great security, that Batista gets the pin for his team, then lays claim to the title, and challenges Triple H.
John Cena defends the World Heavyweight Championship, against the former holder, Edge, in a Last Man Standing match. Is it just me, or have these two feuded since New Year’s Revolution 2007, when Edge cashed in Money in the Bank, after Cena survivng the Elimination Chamber? This is about the only match that these two havent competed in against each other, besides Hell In A Cell. Cena doesnt interest me, and Edge, well, maybe with Vickie Guerrero on RAW now, he can become a heel on his own accord, rather than using the likes of Lita, and Vickie to help him get there.
Jack Swagger defends the ECW Championship against Christian. Yes, really. The ECW Title is being defended on Pay-Per-View. Shocking. Anyways, after the four-way, three-match elimination process, which saw Mark Henry, Tommy Dreamer and Finlay eliminated. Christian winds up as number one contender. This gives them one-week, two shows (ECW and Superstars), to build this match into any insignificance. With Swagger’s poor performance at No Way Out, many say he’s being punished. If that’s the case, then Swagger has an uphill ride ahead of him if he wants to get back to the levels he’s at now.
Chris Jericho vs Ricky Steamboat. It seems those in the WWE were impressed with Steamboat’s performance at Wrestlemania, that they’ve decided to book him in a match, against Jericho. Another match with pretty much zero buildup, which doesnt sound good. However, we know Jericho can go, it depends on if Steamboat can go at least ten minutes to make this match anything.
Jeff Hardy faces his brother Matt in an ‘I Quit’ match. This sure seems to be the PPV for gimmicks, doesnt it? I thought their gimmick PPV was a entitled ‘Extreme Rules’ and it was in June? Hmmm, I must be mistaken. This looks like the match to end the feud between the Hardy Boyz, which has stemmed since the Survivor Series. The fans utterly adore Jeff, so let’s hope he puts over his brother Matt, to give him the push. Otherwise, it’s a TNA-story all over again.
Khali kissing ‘Santina’ on Khali-kiss cam? Your kidding me, right? No? This is really happening. A guy in drag, is gonna kiss a big, useless guy whose claim to fame is being an extra in the re-make of the Longest Yard. I will use a quote, from US tennis great John McEnroe here when I say “You can’t be serious”.
CM Punk vs Kane? Since when? Apparently, this match stems from the end of the Money in the Bank ladder match at Wrestlemania, in which Punk kicked Kane off the ladder, in order to grab the briefcase. The only other build-up this match has had, was a match on RAW between the two (remember, CM Punk and Kane were both drafted to SmackDown!, so why are they competing on RAW is my question), in which Punk countered the Chokeslam into a roll-up into a three count. Why do I get the feeling that Backlash is like one big jigsaw, that has been put together very rushed and all the pieces are in the wrong spot.
This PPV doesnt make me think it’s a must-watch, or even a maybe-watch. Maybe it’s the PPV after Wrestlemania. Maybe it’s the rush job they have done in creating matches, or maybe it’s me wanting to watch SummerSlam ’99 again. Whatever the reason, I’m staying away from Backlash.
WWE Vintage Collection
This, I have to say, is the only WWE show, I enjoy watching. For those who havent seen it, it’s hosted by ‘Mean’ Gene Okerlund, and it’s an hour log show, remembering the shows of yesteryear. Anything from past Wrestlemanias, to U.K. only specials, to weekly shows from the 80s. It’s an old-school fan’s delight, and now, starting this week, I am recapping this show for WorldWrestlingInsanity.com, due to leave taken by their usual recapper. Whether it’s only a part-time gig, or whether it’s a more permanent role remains to be seen, but my first recap from what I understand, will appear at WorldWrestlingInsanity.com today! Go check it out, and enjoy the Battle Royal at Royal Albert Hall from October 3, 1991.
That’s it for another Wednesday. Be sure to check back each and every day for various columns and results from the fellow Bored Wrestling Fan crew. But, from this columnist, I bid you adieu.
Rather than do a full blown RAW review tonight or skip the thing entirely, I’m here to do a “bullet-points” edition of the RAW review! Basically, it’s a condensed version of what you usually get from me on Monday nights Tuesday Mornings, and I hope you all enjoy it!
RAW still wants to be loved, even after Papa Roach has released another album. From what JT tells me, it’s pretty good.
Triple H takes on Orton later tonight as RAW emanates from the UK
SmackDown’s Chris Jericho kicks things off tonight.
He says he’s done with RAW.
Ricky Steamboat interrupts.
Steamboat thanks Jericho for bringing back his passion to perform.
Jericho challenges Steamboat to a match at Backlash.
John Cena interrupts.
Jericho tells Cena that his last act on RAW is to walk out on him.
Steamboat accepts Jericho’s challenge for Backlash
Cena tells Jericho that Vickie Guerrero is not here tonight, but she said Edge isn’t competing tonight, but Cena has to. Jericho’s last act on RAW is a match with Cena tonight.
Rey Mysterio takes on The Big Show later tonight.
Chavo Guerrero is officially a member of the RAW roster.
He can push around anybody on the RAW roster
Batista’s music hits, and the Animal hits the ring
Batista beats Chavo in mere seconds
Chavo apologizes to Vickie, saying he wasn’t ready
Batista returns and drops Chavo with a second Batista Bomb
Shane McMahon meets up with Batista backstage
They agree to be on the same page at Backlash and apologize for attacking each other last week.
Kane vs. CM Punk
Both of these guys are on SmackDown now.
Apparently the draft “takes full effect” next week after Backlash
Punk picks up the win with a rollup
IT’S-A HE! SANTINO!
Last week, he lost his match to The Great Khali, so now his poor sister has to kiss Khali
Some people think that he and his sister are the same person, he’s going to prove them wrong.
Santina’s music is a remix of Billy and Chuck’s old theme
She can’t kiss Khali because of a blister on her lip. She’s in Italy and joining us by satellite
She starts to explain that she won’t be able to make SmackDown this Friday, then mysteriously speeds up her speech, which Santino explains as her drinking too much Red Bull
Santino wrote a poem about the family
Beth Phoenix and Rosa Mendez inturrupt
She’s sorry to hear about Santina’s sister
Santina will be able to kiss Khali at Backlash
Santina starts to sing on the titan tron, but Santino cuts her off
Santino tells Beth she’d better pray she wins back the Women’s Championship tonight, because she’ll never be Miss WrestleMania
SmackDown’s WWE Women’s Champion, Melina is here to defend against Beth Phoenix
Melina vs. Beth Phoenix (WWE Women’s Championship)
If Beth wins this match, RAW will have both World Championships and both Women’s Championships
Beth utilizes some Awesome Kong like moves in this match
Melina hits a Sunset Flip Powerbomb combo for the victory
Shane McMahon wishes Triple H good luck tonight
Shane reminds Triple H that if their team gets disqualified at Backlash, Orton wins the title
John Cena vs. Chris Jericho
“Y2J” chants fill the arena
The crowd seems to be behind Jericho, but all yelled “You can’t see me” for the Five Knuckle Shuffle
Jerry Lawler trash talks Fozzy, saying that the crowds booed so loud that Jericho couldn’t hear himself suck. Apparently he confused Jericho with Nickelback frontman Chad Kroeger
Jericho escapes the Attitude Adjuster and drops Cena with the Codebreaker, but Cena kicks out at two
Cena catches Jericho out of a second Codebreaker attempt with the Attitude Adjuster, but Jericho kicks out at two.
Jericho locks in the Walls of Jericho, but Cena counters into the STF. Jericho counters into an eziguri
Cena and Jericho battle on the top rope until Edge comes out and shoves them both down
Edge spears Cena
Edge hits the Con-chair-to on Cena
Edge reminds us of the rules to a last man standing match, then counts Cena out, announcing himself as the winner
Rey Mysterio vs. The Big Show
Big Show catches Mysterio out of a 619, holds him in a sidewalk slam position, and punches him in the head, knocking him out for the victory
Ted DiBiase tells Cody Rhodes that it’s not the same being in a group when your leader isn’t a champion
Orton says Triple H knows he’s done and that this Sunday Legacy will win
Triple H vs. Randy Orton (no disqualification)
Lots of weapons used here
Triple H focused on Orton’s leg
Legacy comes out to save Orton.
Shane comes out to help HHH, but Legacy takes control
Batista comes out and dominates
Batista accidently hits Shane.
HHH and Batista clear out the ring.
Orton hits the RKO from out of nowhere. 1,2,3, ORTON WINS!!!!!!!!
We fade to black as both teams stand face to face. Orton & Legacy on the ramp, HHH, Shane & Batista in the ring.
Thanks to JT for getting me the highlights of the last match after I left for work!