There Goes the Money
5 CommentsWhether CM Punk lost the World Heavyweight Championship title at the “Hell in a Cell” pay-per-view earlier this month over a dress code issue really doesn’t matter. (more…)
Whether CM Punk lost the World Heavyweight Championship title at the “Hell in a Cell” pay-per-view earlier this month over a dress code issue really doesn’t matter. (more…)
What’s up everyone and welcome to the second edition of the Roundtable. Tonight I am your host as we sit down and predict this Sunday’s “Hell In A Cell” pay per view! Tonight we all of the BWF staff on board with their predictions, so without further ado, let’s get this show on the road:
1. World Heavyweight Championship Match- CM Punk vs. Undertaker (Hell in a Cell Match):
Legend Killer: Punk retains. Oh yeah, nobody else picks it, but watch for Batista.
ThinkSoJoE: We still don’t know for sure who put Long, Punk, and Scott Armstrong up to screwing The Undertaker at Breaking Point, so I’m sure that he’ll get screwed again at Hell In A Cell. Punk’s leaving with the gold.
Tharvey1: Undertaker over CM Punk
Drowgoddess: I want CM Punk to win and retain the title. It’s considered a foregone conclusion that Taker wins here, but it’s just too soon. Taker winning here makes no sense.
JT: It is more logical to have Punk retain here since he has people to feud with such as Batista, Rey Mysterio, And even to a lesser extent Great Khali and John Morrsion. If Taker wins he has Kane and that’s about it unless they turn Batista heel, which I don’t see happening. Punk retains.
2. Divas Championship Match- Mickie James vs. Alicia Fox:
Legend Killer: Mickie James. Who the hell is Alicia Fox?
ThinkSoJoE: Why even have a Hell in a Cell PPV if you don’t have EVERY match inside a Hell In A Cell? This one will be a victory for Mickie James if the WWE wants their women’s division to have even an ounce of credibility compared to TNA’s
Tharvey1: Mickie James over Alicia Fox
Drowgoddess: Mickie James. That Alicia Fox is even in a ppv title match is appalling.
JT: Mickie James. Do I really need to explain.
3. WWE Championship Match- John Cena vs. Randy Orton (Hell in a Cell Match):
Legend Killer: Cena. Because the WWE are like that.
ThinkSoJoE: Cena just won the title. Cena sells merchandise. WWE have a new toy deal starting in January with Mattel, and cheap looking toy championships to sell. Cena ain’t losing at HIAC.
Tharvey1: John Cena over Randy Orton
Drowgoddess: Cena wins. After the last RAW, it’s a given.
JT: I think that the stipulation in that if Orton loses, he can’t have another title shot. So, I’m going with Orton here. Plus like with Punk, it’s better for Orton to be champ, since he can go on to feud with HHH and HBK and even the long awaited Mark Henry feud we’ve all been waiting for. If Cena wins, he has nobody and babyface vs. babyface feuds can’t happen all the time.
4. D-Generation X vs. The Legacy (Hell in a Cell Match):
Legend Killer: DX. See previous match. Also, Cody Rhodes was Rey Mysterio jr. in WCW.
ThinkSoJoE: If there wasn’t another PPV between now and Survivor Series, there would be no question in my mind about Legacy winning this match. My assumption is that they’re still booking DX & Cena vs. Orton and Legacy as the dark main event for RAW events after Bragging Rights later this month, the theory of DX finally getting their revenge at Survivor Series could still hold up. I’m going to go with Legacy here.
Tharvey1: DX over Legacy
Drowgoddess: Who are we kidding? DX wins here, and in humiliating fashion. I completely disagree with the people who say that DX has effectively put over Legacy, and that a DX win at HIAC is acceptable.
JT: I’ve got two words for ya: “DX WINS!” I don’t see Legacy having any chance here.
5. United States Championship Match- Kofi Kingston vs. The Miz vs. Jack Swagger:
Legend Killer: The Miz. His opponents are a palm tree after a bushfire, and the second is the re-incarnation of Dusty Rhodes.
ThinkSoJoe: All three of these guys have been in a game of one-upsmanship over the past few weeks. Kofi’s outsmarted Miz and Swagger on a few occasions, leading me to believe he’s retaining.
Tharvey1: Jack Swagger over Miz and Kofi Kingston
Drowgoddess: I like all three of these guys, and will be happy no matter who wins. That said, I’m going with Kofi to retain, and Swagger and The Miz to develop a feud of their own over it.
JT: Kofi Kingstion has been champion since June, so a title change is eminent. I’m gonna go with Swagger here.
6. Unified Tag Team Championship Match- Chris Jericho & Big Show vs. Batista & Rey Mysterio:
Legend Killer: Batista and Rey. You really see them losing? Silly wrestling fan, WWE is for kids. Yes, the WWE is now a breakfast cereal.
ThinkSoJoE: Look. I’m going to give the same prediction I’ve given before. They took the time to have a band come in and remake a remix of Jericho and Big Show’s theme music. They’re not splitting the team up this quickly by ending their reign at Hell In A Cell. If they do, and I have to see Batista when RAW comes to Buffalo in three weeks, I’ll be very upset.
Tharvey1: JeriShow over Boretista and Rey Mysterio
Drowgoddess: Batista and Rey would not be in this match if they weren’t going to win it. I don’t want them to, but I predict that they will. That said, I want JeriShow to retain until Edge comes back, and have Edge and Jericho start their inevitable feud with Edge and Christian (who will have lost the ECW title to Regal) winning the tag team titles one more time.
JT: There hasn’t been enough build for this match for me to believe that the titles will change hands. Plus Mysterio has unfinished business with John Morrison and Dolph Ziggler. Plus both Rey and Batista are the next in line to be World Title contenders. Jericho and Big Show retain and keep thetitles until Edge returns and causes them to lose them.
7. Intercontinental Championship Match- John Morrison vs. Dolph Ziggler:
Legend Killer: errrr … Morrison?
ThinkSoJoE: PLEASE let Ziggler win. It’s no secret that I’m a huge JoMo mark, but the whole “Mr. Ziggles” thing got real old, real quick. I want Ziggler to win just so Morrison will take him seriously enough to stop calling him that. So, my pick is Ziggler.
Tharvey1: John Morrison over Dolph Ziggler
Drowgoddess: Ziggler has been doing well, and I like the guy more than I thought I would, but I don’t see the Guru of Greatness losing the title just yet. With the hint of a Maria heel turn recently, I’d like to see a slow burn on that where Maria eventually does something despicable to help Ziggler win the title, and we have a new heel couple. Morrison retains.
JT: With Rey returning, I think that he’ll want a rematch for the title at some point, probably the first or second Smackdown after the pay per view, and he will face the champion, John Morrison! Ziggler’s day is coming though.
Alright that’s all thanks for joining us for this edition of the BWF Roundtable. Tune in tomorrow for “Hell In A Cell” coverage, plus an all new Random Randomness!
Surprise!
Welcome to the War for another week.
We start proceedings with the happenings of the WWE’s latest Pay-Per-View extravaganza, Breaking Point. The event was held in Montreal, Quebec, Canada, the home of the infamous screwjob at the 1997 Survivor Series, and this same event, included it’s own screwjob. CM Punk, the World Heavyweight Champion, controversially retained the title, after his opponent, the Undertaker had his win taken off him, due to an ‘illegal submission hold’. Smackdown! General Manager, Teddy Long, used an old rule implemented by Vickie Guerrero, and banned Undertaker’s Devil’s Triangle. The same move used to make CM Punk submit at Breaking Point. Using this technicality so to speak, means it gives Punk a chance to beat the Undertaker in a submission match, and it builds onto the next PPV, Hell In A Cell.
Jeff Hardy was arrested for drug possession. No wonder he wanted to leave the WWE.
Linda McMahon has resigned from the WWE, to concentrate on running to become a Senator in her home state of Conneticut. Good for her. I hope things work out well for her.
Random Clip of the Week: Sonic the Hedgehog’s lessons: #256 Masturbation
Onto TNA news, and TNA have announced the firings of BG James, and Jim Cornette. This is a bad move. Cornette is a mastermind when it comes to wrestling, and with BG James gone, this allows him to come back and be the third member in D-Generation X, which is just what we need.
No Surrender is this weekend, and Kurt Angle defends the TNA Heavyweight Championship against Matt Morgan, Sting and AJ Styles. My predictions will come later in the week, and I suggest that the rest of the BWF staff follow suit.
Song of the Week: From the album ‘Hulk Rules’ by the Wrestling Boot Travelling Band, it’s Track 4 from that album. I strangely enjoy this song.
Onto other news of the week.
South African athlete Caster Semenya, has been revealed to have both male and female sexual organs, making her a hermaphrodite. South African officals are unsure as to whether he/she is allowed to keep her 800m World Championships Gold Medal.
Kanye West has taken over John Edward as the biggest douche in the universe, after his stunt at the VMAs this past week.
I thought Jay Leno left the Tonight Show? Explain to me how his new show is different, except for the timeslot.
Both of my Yahoo Fantasy! NFL teams won this week. Cheer the mighty D-Crippilation X to victory!
Patrick Swayze passed away at age 57, after his 20 month battle with pancreatic cancer. Some people say he was a sex symbol at his age before his death. I say he was in Roadhouse, and cleaned house with Terry Funk. RIP.
Osama Bin Laden has a crush on Whitney Houston. According to one of his ‘sex slaves’, Osama would talk about Whitney all the time. Whitney responded in this manner. Then Tyra had to have her say. Finally, Danny Noriega had this to say.
That’s all for this week. Tune into BWF programming later in the week.
Let me make one thing very clear, friends and readers. My title of “Empress of ‘Impact'” exists for a reason.
Wow. BoredWrestlingFan.com is celebrating it’s one year anniversary this Tuesday, June 9th. Normally by this point in a project, I’ve lost all interest and will have not updated in months. BWF is not one of those projects. I still love this site and update it as often as possible, and with the cast of characters I’ve assembled here, we keep this place live nearly every day of the week. But enough about that for now, I’ll devote an article to that on Tuesday.
On to the wrestling news for the week.
The big news still on the radar from last week is the sudden release of Mr. Kennedy as details continue to leak. Word is that Randy Orton complained about Kennedy’s wreckless nature in the ring. The story goes that Mr. McMahon asked other Superstars about it, and they agreed which led to Kennedy’s release. Rumor has it that Kennedy is also now a member of the WWE “do not call” list, which is a very exclusive club.
Almost lost in the mix of Kennedy stories are the injuries that Samoa Joe suffered at a TNA house show sometime in the past week. The former TNA Triple Crown Champion suffered two broken fingers and a torn bicep. The injuries couldn’t come at a worse time for TNA, as they’ve already taped every episode of iMPACT! leading up to Slammiversary, where Joe was set to participate in the King of the Mountain main event. At this point, the only thing yours truly would expect is Joe to be taken out by the Main Event Mafia at the start of the PPV.
Chris Mordetzky, better known as Chris Masters, has apparently re-signed with World Wrestling Entertainment. Maybe he stopped taking steroids and learned how to wrestle, and can actually justify whatever push they give him this time around.
Sting is (allegedly) seriously considering retirement following this year’s Bound For Glory Pay-Per-View. If he does decide to retire, rest assured that he’d probably stay retired, and also bet your house on Sting being inducted in the WWE Hall of Fame no later than 2011.
Hey, speaking of Pay Per Views, WWE’s changed the name of another one. The Great American Bash is now simply known as The Bash. The reasons rumoured for this change include the old name being too WCW sounding, and the fact that if it’s the Great American Bash, you can’t hold it outside of the U.S.
The highlight of this week in wrestling for me was actually watching SmackDown for the first time in over a month. There were a few great matches on there that made me remember why I’m a wrestling fan. Edge vs. Rey Mysterio was a definite match of the year contender in my book.
And since it’s a PPV weekend, here’s my predictions for Xtreme Rules!
Vickie Guerrero vs. Santina Marella: Hog Pen Match
My prediction is this match will suck. For the hell of it, let’s go with Santina regaining her Miss WrestleMania crown.
CM Punk vs. Umaga: Samoan Strap Match
Time for these guys to move on from this random feud. Punk wins.
US Championship – Kofi Kingston vs. Matt Hardy vs. William Regal vs. MVP: four way match
What the hell is extreme about a four way match? Kingston just won the title on Monday, don’t expect that belt to be going anywhere this soon.
Intercontinental Championship – Rey Mysterio vs. Chris Jericho: No Hold’s Barred
Just as long as Zeus doesn’t get involved, we’re good here. Rey Rey will find a way to win. Jericho doesn’t need another IC Title run.
ECW Championship – Christian vs. Jack Swagger vs. Tommy Dreamer: Hardcore match
I know the story here about Dreamer getting one more chance at the ECW Championship, getting a one day extension past today’s original date. I just can’t see him getting the win. Christian retains.
John Cena vs. The Big Show: Submission match
I predict myself falling asleep. Two decidedly non-submission wrestlers in a submission match. Boring. Technical guys like CM Punk and Chris Jericho can get away with submission matches, not power guys like Cena and The Big Show. Anyways, why bother, we all know Cena’s going to win.
WWE Championship – Randy Orton vs. Batista: Steel Cage Match
For crying out loud, what is Batista even doing in a championship match? The guy sucks in the ring, he sucks on the mic, he is NOT championship material. Never was, never will be. I just hope he doesn’t injure Orton, who I’m sure is going over.
World Championship – Edge vs. Jeff Hardy: Ladder Match
Jeff hasn’t re-signed with WWE yet, and they want him to. Hardy goes over, believe it or not.
That’s all for me for now, JT will be around tomorrow with more Random Randomness, and we’ll have some sort of coverage of Extreme Rules – probably not live but it’ll be up sometime before RAW on Monday.
When I was younger, I used to manage to catch every pay per view. Used to be, we’d buy them – back when there weren’t so many of them anyway. Eventually, the PPV schedule got too expensive for regular fans like me, so we’d end up missing PPVs here or there. I’m not sure why, but I somehow wound up watching “WWF: Over The Edge” on May 23, 1999. I may not remember where I watched the show, or how I got to watch it, but I’ll never forget it. It’s stuck in my memory and will never go away.
It’s not that there was a spectacular main event. Without looking it up, I couldn’t even tell you what it was. What I can tell you is that there was a match scheduled featuring the Godfather defending the Intercontinental Championship against the Blue Blazer. If you don’t know what happened at this particular event, it may just sound like another wacky Attitude Era match between a pimp and a superhero. Sadly, the match never took place.
The promo video for the match aired, as it normally would, but instead of coming out of the promo and straight into the entrances, an obviously thrown off JR shoots us to an interview conducted earlier in the day by Kevin Kelly with The Blazer, concluding his statement with “we’ve got big problems out here.”
When the interview was over, a wide shot of the Kemper Arena crowd followed, with the voice of JR.
“Ladies and gentlemen, when you’re doing live television a lot of, uh, things can happen, and sometimes they are not good. The Blue Blazer, who we know is Owen Hart, was gonna make a very spectacular super hero like entrance from the rafters, and something went terribly wrong here,” explained JR. “Certainly, Owen Hart… Blue Blazer – very serious situation here at this point in time, is being attended to by the EMTs. This is not a part of the entertainment here tonight. We are as… This is as real as real can be here. And uh, the EMTs are tending to Owen in the ring now. And we are, again, at a little bit of a loss in this situation. I’ve been doing this for more years than I’d like to admit, and this is the… well, it’s one of the most shocking things I’ve ever seen. This is not your typical wrestling storyline. This is a real situation. Owen Hart was to ascend in a super-hero like entrance from the ceiling of this arena, and something terribly, terribly went wrong. I don’t know if the harness broke, or what the malfunction was, and, uh, we are going to keep our cameras on this crowd at this point in time…”
JR continued to reiterate that Owen Hart had an accident, and that it was not a part of the show. He tells us the show will go on, but that the bigger issue is that Owen Hart has been seriously, seriously inured. Jerry Lawler rejoins him at the broadcast booth and says that it “doesn’t look good at all.”
An interview with a very somber Jeff Jarrett and Debra followed. They put over their match, and mentioned that Owen was in their prayers.
In true showbiz fashion, after the EMTs managed to get Owen out of the arena and to a nearby hospital, the WWF’s show went on. Three matches followed Owen’s fall, with very somber performers working them, some of whom – namely Jeff Jarrett, Debra, and The Road Dogg – saying that Owen was in their prayers in their pre-match promos.
Following a tag team elimination match between The Union and The Corporate Ministry, the camera went right back to JR and The King at ringside, with some terrible news.
“Ladies and gentleman,” began JR. “Earlier tonight here in Kansas City, tragedy befell the World Wrestling Federation and all of us. Owen Hart was set to make an entrance from the ceiling and he fell from the ceiling. I have the unfortunate responsibility to let everyone know that Owen Hart has died. Owen Hart has tragically died from that accident here tonight.”
That was a decade ago tonight. It was a very sad night indeed for everybody involved in professional wrestling, be in the performers, the promoters, or, of course, the fans. Allegedly, Owen was supposed to fly in from the rafters, press a quick release trigger on his harness, and fall flat on his face. Apparently, he’d inadvertantly triggered the mechanism, and wound up falling 50 feet (some reports say 78 feet) to his death.
The following night on RAW, the storylines were dropped, the wrestlers weren’t forced to work, and several of them told stories about their fallen friend. They all talked about how much Owen loved his wife and his children, and how he was a legendary prankster backstage. Those are two nights that I’ll never forget for as long as I live. They say only the good die young – Owen was 34. We’ll never forget you, Owen!
Greetings, fellow line-crossers!
Your Empress of “Impact” is here, with a review of tonight’s go-home show and predictions for Sunday’s “Sacrifice” pay-per-view. Tonight’s episode is titled “Double J in Jeopardy.” Will the TNA Founder remember to phrase the answer in the form of a question? Let’s find out!
To the tune of ‘Manic Monday’ by the Bangles, you can follow the song by clicking HERE.
It’s that time already
I was just eating some chocolate ice cream
I’ve been thinking all day
About my column and what should be its theme
But it can’t be late
‘Cause then it’s Thursday and it wont be right
These are the days
I wish that Vinnie had a show every night
It’s just a column on a Wednesday
At least it’s not every day
Then I’d have no fun day
Thank Joe it’s only one day
It’s just a column on a Wednesday
I think I need a miracle
‘Cause all I see on my screen is white
I’m running out of time
and I’ve still got nothing to write
‘Cause it takes me so long
Just to figure out what I’m gonna say
I post a YouTube clip or two
And everything is a-ok
It’s just a column on a Wednesday
At least it’s not every day
Then I’d have no fun day
Thank Joe it’s only one day
It’s just a column on a Wednesday
Why in my mind
Did I choose to make fun of a Bangles song
It’s just too hard
Does it really matter
That it’s hard to change the words
I’ll just write anything down
A giant has a big voice
and Mimes, they don’t make a noise
Time for a ke-bab
and a Hot Cross Bun
It’s just a column on a Wednesday
At least it’s not every day
Then I’d have no fun day
Thank Joe it’s only one day
It’s just a column on a Wednesday
At least it’s not every day
Then I’d have no fun day
It’s just a column on a Wednesday
Wednesday. The only day in the week where there is zero wrestling on your TV. Monday Nights are RAW, Tuesdays have ECW. Thursdays make an iMPACT. Friday nights have SmackDown! Saturday Nights are ROH and Sundays are for Pay-Per-View. Where does that leave Wednesday? Luckily, at BoredWrestlingFan, yours truly has completed your weekly wrestling fix.
WWE Judgment Day
I actually made predictions in last week’s column, if thats what you want to call them. Let’s see if my wishes came true.
Umaga def. CM Punk
I got this one wrong. Infact, judging by the length of this match. This wasnt a 30 minute match was it? It wasnt even a 10 minute match. No, it was more like this …
Christian def. Jack Swagger
Who didnt see this coming a mile away huh? Christian won. Personally, I dont see why Jack Swagger cant win, I mean, he’s been in commercials. At least, I think it’s him, it sure sounds like him. Here, judge for yourself.
John Morrison def. Shelton Benjamin
This shows you just how much means in the scheme of things, that as of last Wednesday, this match was not announced for the Pay Per View. Which means, that this match had at most exactly four days build up. Four Days People! How can you build a PPV match in four days? It’s just like working out if the contractors building the Death Star knew what they were getting into? I’ll let Dante and Randal explain.
A segment involving the Miz, Chavo and Santino
Thats the Miz, Chavo Guerrero and Santino Marella
Rey Mysterio def. Chris Jericho
Well it looks like my dreams didnt come true. Rey Mysterio didnt get Swine Flu nor did he get booted back to Mexico. Perhaps I should’ve gotten JBL to do it. Rather than comment on this match, why not show it to you. I present to you, Rey Mysterio vs Chris Jericho.
Batista def. Randy Orton by DQ (Orton retains WWE Championship)
Randy cheats to win, so Big Dave doesnt win the title. Hooray for Randy, thank you for not letting that useless lug win the title. It’s good to see they might let Randy hold the title for a few months, or at least until this man comes back. However, spoiler note, Randy Orton scheduled to defend the WWE Championship three times during RAW’s tour of Australia and New Zealand in early July. Before you ask, no I’m not going, my birthday is too close to the touring dates (the last day of the tour is the day before my birthday), which means that chances are, Randy isnt losing the title before then.
Wasn’t Batista a Body Builder?
John Cena def. Big Show
First off, did you know John Cena gave driving tips? Secondly, if anyone actually thought that Big Show was going to win at Judgment Day should not be allowed to be a wrestling fan ever again. Thirdly, don’t you pay attention to rhymes? Fourthly and finally, Are we gonna have a shower or what?
Edge def. Jeff Hardy
Edge retains the World Heavyweight Championship, which means for the first time in a long while, all major titles have been retained at the one PPV. Which is good, considering I was at a concert the other night and was surprised to see Jeff Hardy reforming his old band. Here’s a clip.
No TNA this week, I went through a fair bit last week and the only thing that has been added is that Jeff Jarrett is now a part of the Title match at Sacrifice. That’s J-E-Double F J-A-Double R-E-Double T. What is he Sacrificing in order to be in the match? Why ownership of TNA of course. Judging by that, my prediction is, either Angle loses or Foley loses. My guess, Angle loses to Foley.
That’s it for another Wednesday, don’t forget to check out my review of the Vintage Collection over at WorldWrestlingInsanity.com and the sister site of BoredWrestlingFan.com, VinceRussoWatchesHisBeardGrow.com.
I leave you this week, with the softer side of the Doug Anthony All Stars. Here it is!! Tune in next week.
Wednesday. The only day in the week where there is zero wrestling on your TV. Monday Nights are RAW, Tuesdays have ECW. Thursdays make an iMPACT. Friday nights have SmackDown! Saturday Nights are ROH and Sundays are for Pay-Per-View. Where does that leave Wednesday? Luckily, at BoredWrestlingFan, yours truly has completed your weekly wrestling fix.
Judgment Day is this Sunday according to WWE programming. Didnt they just have a PPV last month? Anyways, it’s time to sort out just who will win. But first, check out the awesome video for the PPV!
CM Punk vs Umaga
Remember what I said last month about CM Punk’s match at Backlash and how he only gets matches because the WWE thinks the fans want to see him? This is another one of those matches. This match means absolutely nothing to anyone, except for Umaga, because he’s actually getting used on a PPV. Punk win, just because the event is held in his hometown of Chicago. I have nothing more to say about this, because I dont care.
Rey Mysterio vs Chris Jericho – Intercontinental Championship
Tough one. Submission match. Crossface vs Walls of Jericho. Can Jericho win the IC belt from Benoit, or will Benoit retain? I’m gonna say Benoit, but it’s tough for me to decide either way … wait … it’s not Benoit in the match, it’s Rey Mysterio vs Jericho? The IC title’s on the line. What is this? The year 2000? Jericho wins. Someone boot that little Mexican back over the border where he belongs. Oh, and I hope het gets swine flu.
Christian vs Jack Swagger – ECW Championship
Christian wins. I suppose I’d better add something else here. Here we go, the greatest RAW match of all time according to yours truly. Part One.
John Cena vs the Big Show
Like I said in last week’s column. John Cena needs to learn to sell injures a lot more. He was thrown into a spotlight by the Show at Backlash and this past week, he was in a match against the Miz. 15 Days after being thrown in a spotlight, John Cena wrestled. That is just ridiculous. However, I’ve seen this match before. Infact, it happened at a Judgment Day, several years ago …
Shane McMahon John Cena vs Big Show
Edge vs Jeff Hardy – World Heavyweight Championship
Been here. Seen it before. See? StingEdge vs Vampiro
Randy Orton vs Batista – WWE Championship
This past week on RAW, Batista refused the chance to join a group including Randy Orton. I dont see why he refused, I mean, it wouldnt be the first time Batista has joined in the same group as Randy Orton. Maybe Randy should’ve offered 100,000 as well.
Two former Evolution members go head to head with the gold on the line. Both were World Champion during Evolution. Both beat Triple H for their first title reigns. Batista has a penis for a head and Randy Orton has a penis for a stablemate, as well as Ted DiBiase. Randy wins, but let’s just hope that this match doesnt go the same way as this one …
and now, here’s Part Two!
TNA
They have a PPV coming up too, it’s called Sacrifice and the main event is for the TNA Title. Champion Mick Foley defends against Kurt Angle and Sting, in a match that is sure to push the young talent that TNA say they are doing.
However, each man must Sacrifice something in order to compete and if they get pinned, then they lose what they sacrifice to the person that pinned them. Sounds simple, doesnt it? I know, a real shocker coming from TNA. So, your question now is, just what exactly is everyone Sacrifing? Well, let me tell you …
If they lose …
If Mick Foley gets pinned, he loses the TNA Heavyweight Title
If Kurt Angle gets pinned, he gives up leadership of The Main Event Mafia
If Sting gets pinned, he has vowed to never wrestle again
Also on the card, is as follows:
I-QUIT MATCH FOR THE TNA LEGENDS CHAMPIONSHIP
Booker T vs. “The Phenomenal” AJ Styles
Who cares? I believe AJ became Champ, so he could be the first TNA Grand Slam Champion.
TNA KNOCKOUT WOMEN’S CHAMPIONSHIP
Champion Angelina Love vs. Awesome Kong
I hope Kong eats her. I really do. Cannibalism on PPV will make me want to watch TNA more.
MAIN EVENT MAFIA VS. TNA FRONTLINE
Kevin Nash vs. Samoa Joe
The teacher versus the student. Remember when Nash mentored Joe? Big Kev mustn’t be a good tutor, because Joe has found himself a new tutor. Speaking of this match, Scott Hall won’t be getting involved, let Joe tell you.
THE FIRST-EVER KNOCKOUTS MONSTER’S BALL
Check back for the complete lineup
THE FINALS OF THE TEAM 3D TOURNAMENT
The winners get a shot at the TNA World Tag Team Title *cough* Beer Money win *cough*
Well, thats it. Stay tuned next week, when I, will hopefully provide not only my weekly Wednesday column, but also, a special May 19th column, in honour of Kane.