It’s Summerslam weekend (well, close enough). We’ll be running down the Summerslam card on BWF Radio this Sunday with some special guests. I’m announcing no one yet, because it’s going to be huge… and awesome. Tune in to “www.boredwrestlingfan.com or www.wonderpodonline.com on Sunday to check it out with plenty of time before the PPV.
Pretty much the whole card has been announced. There’s even some last minute matches likely to be teased tonight and then cut for time on Sunday. I expect a holding pattern, and a whole bunch of clip packages. Maybe I’ll get through this in record time? Only one way to find out, let’s hop to it, shall we?
So Impact opens with the TNA World Champion and X Division Champion respectably on opposing sides against the former World title holder and the X division number #1 contender.
Austin Aries/Kenny King vs Zema Ion/Bobby Roode:
This match was an awesome way to open the show and get the blood pumping. Back and forth pin attempts and Aries diving out of the ring over Ion to get to Roode was excellent of course King gets the pin when he drops Ion with the Coronation.
We get the Aces and Eights video detailing the groups attacks. I find this group interesting and hope that it heralds a return for a certain Guitar swinging co-founder. This also prompts Sting to come out and want to talk to a certain person he believes is behind the group. Storm is the man he wants to talk to and in typical cowboy fashion James points out how 9 months ago he was jumped by Angle and didn’t whine about it and came out and whooped Kurt’s butt. He doesn’t need anyone to fight his battles. Angle comes out tells Storm that he will make Storm tap out.
The Phenomenal One tweets from Australia home of displaced British people who owed money to the king. Then from that we get a recap of one of the most ridiculous stories since Eddie Guerrero’s and Rey Mysterio’s who’s your daddy angle, Claire LynchGate. A new twist to the story is that Daniels and Kazarian are throwing her a baby shower. Yeah please take this plot from C list to B list Daniels you are a god send.
THANKS GEE!
Taz and Tenay announce the matches for the Hardcore Justice 2012 PPV. First we have a Ladder Match between AJ Styles vs Angle vs Daniels vs Samoa Joe. Then we have a Falls count Anywhere match where Anderson vs RVD vs The Pope vs Magnus and finally a Tables Match with Jeff Hardy vs Bully Ray vs Storm vs Robbie E. I’ll stream that.
Bully Ray comes out for his match where he announces that he never trusted Storm and will be at Ringside tonight. All this right before Robbie E and Ray have a squash match in most strict of definitions.
Bully Ray vs Robbie E:
Robbie T jumps Ray from behind and Robbie E takes advantage reminding me of the Joker during The Dark Knight always attacking when he’s down. Ray battles back and drops a neckbreaker to gain 7 points . Have to love the job squadder in this tournament.
Then we show the continuing hotness of Madison Rayne and her pull over Earl Hebner. (Yes I may not like her wrestling but well….You know.) Gail confronts the two and brings into question Hebner’s call last week. Then we get Tara and Mickie stretching in the locker room. Nuff said.
Knockouts Number#1 contenders match : Tara vs Mickie vs Madison vs Gail
And to cut it short..After another roll up pin this time Madison and Tara, Hebner grants the win to Rayne. This of course will be the Knockout Match for Hardcore Justice.
Well after a James Storm recap leads into Roode and Aries promising to bring drinks and themselves to the picnic which is the main event of Storm vs Angle.
Brooke Hogan is backstage with Sting. He wants to know about condition her father. After some “are you sure you can handle the knockouts” talk Brooke gets an envelope with Aces and Eights and promptly tears off her mic and leaves.
The Greatest Guerrero currently wrestling Chavo is shown warming up backstage for his first Impact match. Creative realizes that the KO Tag titles still exist and show ODB and EY talking about them and his new show.
Chavo/Hernandez vs Kid Kash/Gunner:
the unofficial reboot of Mexican America talking on those good ole Southern boys is sure to help reinvigorate and not irratate the tag division. After a decent match Chavo hits the three amigos (triple suplex’s) and a frog splash on Kash for the win. Now if only Daniels and Kazarian can get involved.
So not only have creative remembered the KO Tag titles but the Television title when Devon and (shudder) Garett come out to tell Angle they want a piece of the Ace’s and Eights. Angle tells them to watch his back. Oh and Wes Brisco of FCW asks Angle for a good word to get his foot in the door.
Daniels and Kazarian come to the ring to congratulate Claire with a baby shower bringing gifts and a baby doll dressed as AJ. Then the so to be chain smoking mother of one looks into the camera and tells AJ to do the right thing.
Kurt Angle vs James Storm:
A good match with many near falls, during the course of the match Garett and Devon, Bully Ray, Roode and Aries come down to the ring. After James Storm hits the Last Call for the win and 7 points, he takes the mic and calls out Aces and Eights only for Roode to counter that because he won they weren’t needed. Bully and Storm battle as Aries and Roode have at it (this is more than likely setting up a Ray vs Storm match after HJ) while Angle looks on.
I’m likely the unpredictablity of this program especially since its live so please TNA keep iMPACT LIVE!
It seems the last couple of months have been building up to this Monday. Meanwhile back in Smackdown Land, I’m sure most viewers are going into this just waiting for RAW. It’s kind of a bit of a joke though, because after next week’s Monday does the three hour tour… they are going to be scrambling for things to do to fill that extra hour. And let’s be frank for a moment here, they are having problems filling two hours. So what are we in store for tonight? A holding pattern? Two hours of vanilla tout videos? Ryback squashing someone? Momma’s being called? The answer to all of these questions is likely, “Yes,” but since it’s backstage dance time, let’s hop to it shall we?
Yes, it’s the “Go Home” show for Money in the Bank this Sunday on PPV. And the whole damn product revolves around one thing… not the laptop, nor the Smackdown GM getting his Christmas Wish granted with the ability to speak (even though he was over in December…. shh! We are supposed to forget that!).
Yes, one character seems to have taken over in a illogical way. No, not Double A (that’s the “good” product). We’re one year out from the “Summer of Punk II” shtick. Wow. This is not your Ten Year Old’s WWE. RIght Mr. Cena?
Oh yeah, remember that Zach Ryder guy? No? Me neither, but it appears he is the GM for Smackdown. Turns out the computer is more popular in the WWE’s opinion. YAWN. Oh well, here’s the magical picture part of the review and the “hopping” reference:
Hulk Hogan puts over the Open Fight Night/Open Call Out and the Bound for Glory series tournament before moving on to A Double for his answer. (which has something to do with Plan C-check twitter for his response) Option A would have him hand over the title and challenge Roode at Destination X but if he lost he would have nothing. Option B he would decline and walk away still X Division champion and not be in the main event. And it appears Option C is where starting this year the current X Division champion will be allowed to turn in the belt for the chance at the World Title holder. Hogan is pleased. (So does that mean that if the X division champion loses he keeps the belt and if he wins we have an X division tournament for the title after the PPV? Um-okay.
Roode of course comes out and throws a tantrum saying that the X Division title is a paper championship and that he is the real world champion Austin Aries calls him out and the two battle it out. Security/Referees come out to break it up. Anderson comes down out and announces that basically when they’re done with each other Anderson will be waiting. (more…)
Well, WWE sure went and “TNA’d” RAW this week, giving us a taste of what the future has in store starting July 23rd, officially marking the 1000th RAW and the start of 3 hours of programming (including overrun). I’m on the fence about what I thought of last week’s RAW in consideration of the programs that will continue on tonight’s rendition of Friday Night Smackdown.
And in all fairness, describing a the quality of a program by using “TNA” as an adjective is kind of offensive to the oddly superior program, Impact Wrestling, over the last couple of months. This includes two great PPV’s out of the Orlando promotion (that nobody ordered, and I can’t blame them).
How long will it be before we describe TNA as botching their show as “WWE’ing” it? Enough with the editorial. Let’s just hop to it, shall we?
I bite my lip so often when hearing people mark out for new revelations in computer technology, and the internet. And I'm not even THAT savvy. I suppose I'm an elitist prick... and with that folks, let's get smarky!
This puppy was probably taped so the guys giver, and get themselves to Flo Rida. Translation: “This is the last ditch attempt to get random casual viewers to throw down a bunch of money and watch WrestleMania 28.”
Look, this will likely be the easiest review I do all year. It will have some Monday pre-taped matches that I didn’t pre-research, so Daniel Bryan could Brie-Slam and get his Twin Magic girlfriend on TV to earn some money to go watch the Hunger Games movie. Anyways, regardless of this episode, I will watch The $1000 Paternity Of Them All! Let’s just get to the jump, so we can all get to possibly having buyer’s remorse on Sunday!
On the road to Lockdown the all cage PPV and with two weeks and some change to go we have the return of Roode, accompanied by 5 body guards cutting a promo on breaking Sting and putting Dixie in her place. He goes on to say that the guards are there for Storm’s protection not his. To which starts Storms music. The cowboy quips on the “mall cops” and attempts to get at Roode before Bully Ray jumps in and takes down James momentarily. Storm fights Ray off and attempts the last call super kick on The Champ but Roode escapes. After some manning up a handicap match is called.
Gail and Madison are in the back having make up talk. Gail presents Rayne with a present which of course is a crown. The two make up. Gail tells Madison to beat Velvet Sky. (The lesser of two evils….. Nope can’t root for either.
Madison vs Velvet…sigh. Lets make this quick. After a what felt like a 3min divas match, Sky beat Rayne witih In yo Face for the 3 count. Yes her finisher which Taz announced is as vapid as her character. Hemme conducts a inpromptu interview on the ramp where Sky (who is out of breath) calls out Gail and puts the rest of the knockouts on notice. Please don’t have Sarita job to Velvet, please don’t have Sarita job to velvet. Please.
We get when Harry met Sally but in a bad H.S reproduction substituting Hogan and Dixie. I swear I felt like Vaseline was needed when all the proping of Dixie and Hogan was done. Favorite line “Dixie, you a beautiful, attractive person.. (pause. Dixie looking uncomfortable) on the inside.
Matt Morgan and Crimson recap leading up to the next match.
Hemme gets ready to call out the two when Austin Aries music hits. She looks confused. A Double politely takes the mic and starts in on Ray. While the Impact crowd has dueling chants of “Austin Aries!!” “Aries sucks”. Aries talks up Storm and how he wants Bully Ray before extending his hand to James metaphorically to tag.
Hemme announces Matt Morgan before cutting to commericial. When we come back Morgan is beating on Crimson on the ramp. The two trade blows back and forth teasing countouts on two occasions. finally we have the third and final out of the ring fight which leads to a double count out.
Joseph Parks comes to the production area and talks to the engineers. Asks has any of them seen his brother Chris. He leaves his card.
Mr. Anderson vs Hardy: The match is pretty good and serves its purpose but the best part is the announcement of the Motor City Machine Guns return next week. Which in a way overshadowed the match. Angle interferes and cost Hardy the match.
We next have the Longnecks and Rednecks video with Montgomery Genry with Cowboy Troy, a lone black guy in a sea of white dudes who are probably not that far removed from lynching him if he looked at Faith Hill the wrong way. Thank God that Charley Pride and Darius Rucker make it somewhat of a fair fight. Moving on. Its a good video and was a lot of fun.
Eric Bischoff comes walking backstage ready to make another announcement about his son Garett. sigh. Good feeling gone.
Eric Young/ODB and a wedding planner go about the wedding naturally and we see some more of the insecurity that is ODB. So will we see another attempt at a heel turn fueled by jealousy? At the wedding that can not go wrong. 3 days before Lockdown in a steel cage the wedding will take place.
Eric B is in the ring ranting about Sting and I guess leading to Garett. Finally he gets to Garett and calls him out. Garett comes out and confronts his father. Eric gives his son an ultimatum he either gives up or he has to meet Gunner in a steel cage at Lockdown. Garett chooses the latter.
James Storm video shows him working out and doing yard work as he talks of Roode and the break up of Beer Money.
Main Event: Bobby Roode (c) & Bully Ray vs Austin Aries (c) & James Storm
We start off with Ray doing talking smack to Aries before tagging in Roode, Aries obliges by attempting to tag in Storm. Roode attacks from behind. After some time Roode tags in Ray who goes on the offensive but soon Aries comes back and embarrasses Ray before walking into a big boot. The heels dominate for the remainder. Aries soon gets off a drop kick leading to a tag. Storm beats on Ray and sends Roode into the ring. Storm gets ready to attack Roode when Bully Ray goes back on the offensive. Bobby gets the beer bottle and gets ready to spit it in The Cowboy’s face. Storm ducks and Roode hits Ray instead. Storm goes for the last call which Roode throws Ray in the way for the 3.
Hogan comes out to Dixie who is already in the ring. Before Hogan can answer Sting comes down with a handful of face wrestlers to cheer hulk on. Hogan asks Sting if he has his back and Sting agrees. This of course leads to Hogan accepting before the show fades to black.
Wow. Lets hope the next tapings that appear celebrate the return of Motor City Machine Guns.
Why am I reviewing this infomercial? I don’t know. Why is Goliath (voice actor Keith David) from Disney’s animated show Gargoyles narrating it? You’ve got me. How did I travel into the future to watch this? I didn’t. It got leaked.
Well, it’s Friday, and you know what….. wait… what? It’s Tuesday? Damn! I was really hoping it was the weekend. Sadly, it’s also the Battle of Alberta tonight as my Edmonton Oilers face the Calgary Flames. While I enjoyed the PPV on Sunday, my patience will be short for this episode since I am more inclined to watch hockey. My DVR says that Randy Orton is scheduled to face Daniel Bryan tonight. Really? Alright, let’s just hop to it, shall we? (more…)
It’s kind of a bit of a joke though, because after next week’s Monday does the three hour tour… they are going to be scrambling for things to do to fill that extra hour. And let’s be frank for a moment here, they are having problems filling two hours. So what are we in store for tonight? A holding pattern? Two hours of vanilla tout videos? Ryback squashing someone? Momma’s being called? The answer to all of these questions is likely, “Yes,” but since it’s backstage dance time, let’s hop to it shall we?
