This puppy was probably taped so the guys giver, and get themselves to Flo Rida. Translation: “This is the last ditch attempt to get random casual viewers to throw down a bunch of money and watch WrestleMania 28.”
Look, this will likely be the easiest review I do all year. It will have some Monday pre-taped matches that I didn’t pre-research, so Daniel Bryan could Brie-Slam and get his Twin Magic girlfriend on TV to earn some money to go watch the Hunger Games movie. Anyways, regardless of this episode, I will watch The $1000 Paternity Of Them All! Let’s just get to the jump, so we can all get to possibly having buyer’s remorse on Sunday!
As I write this, I am watching Elmo’s World. I am a good father and that is what a good father does. She has been since put to bed. Now I am watching 2 Broke Girls wondering what will come next to the wrestling fans. Last week, we had one of the best endings to Raw since Punk’s “The Promo.” Now it’s time to see how the WWE will follow up with it.
Raw began with Punk doing what he does best. Sitting cross-legged in the ring with a microphone in his hand. He said that he wanted to hear Johnny Ace say all the things to Punk’s face. Then John Cena came out and said he wanted Kane tonight and Ryder to get his rematch. Cena had some great fire and intensity. This is the hardest thing I have ever had to admit. But I am beginning not to hate Johnny Ace as a character.
The first match was John Cena & CM Punk vs. Dolph Ziggler & Jack Swagger. It was a really decent match. You had the face in peril and then Ziggler won via a handful of tights.
Chris Jericho played with the crowd. This is one of the best new things about Raw.
Mick Foley gave Zack Ryder a pep talk and Cena offered Ryder his back. Ryder said he wanted to do this on his own. Ryder took quite the beating. If you want to see this match done much better, click here and watch Icarus vs. Gregory Iron. It was a great moment for Ryder. Kane is over like a monster, and Ryder got lots of sympathy for it. Ryder got a lot of chants in the show. As they were putting Ryder in the ambulance, Eve Torres auditions to be the worst human being ever by telling Cena this was all his fault. But the winner was Josh Matthews who tried to interview John Cena. John Cena gave his angry face at the camera which looked like a Vince snarl.
Sheamus wrestled Jinder Mahal. I would like Mahal to never appear on my tv. They’re building up the Royal Rumble.
Miz and Truth are wrestling tonight. Do they understand what it means to wait for something for a PPV?
Brodus Clay killed Heath Slater.
Miz and Truth wrestled a good match I didn’t want to see because they should be waiting for a PPV.
Johnny Ace is told his job is going to be evaluated by Triple H. Surprise, surprise. Ace didn’t wrestle. It was Otunga, whom Punk killed faster than I mute the tv when Jennifer Hudson’s commercials come on.
Another good Raw tonight. I really liked the build-up towards the PPV. The Punk-Ace stuff is evolving into good. Clay continues to be a great new gimmick and surprise. This has been a pretty solid Raw.
The BWF Radio crew are back for the new year with episode 6 of the show. This week we talk Daniel Bryan, Zack Ryder, the return of Chris Jericho, the reasons why there is so much underutilizd talent in WWE, and we predict TNA’s Genesis Pay Per View. Right click & save the link below to listen!
Let’s just get this out of the way, if you like Randy Orton… pay high attention to his involvement on Smackdown tonight since it’s the last time you are going to see him for possibly half a year.
Word on the interwebs is that he is suffering a problem with a disc in his spine, and if the six month window is accurate, will also miss WrestleMania.
I think that this bodes well for Smackdown, however, as it will force the WWE to attempt to elevate guys into and towards a top face role on the program. Both Zack Ryder, and inevitably, Dolph Ziggler can benefit. But enough about speculation, let’s hop to it, shall we?
Oh yeah, Brock Lesnar just retired from the UFC tonight… hmm…
Happy Boxing Day to you and yours. My wife made my grandmother’s recipe of macaroni and cheese tonight, so I am a very happy man. I am also coming off my post-Christmas holiday. I spent today watching the King of the Deathmatch Tournament from IWA-MidSouth II from 2011. I will simply say that I have never called anything garbage wrestling, but that was it. There were some good names there like MASADA & BJ Whitmer, but it was pretty awful. They had the stereo-typical “gay” character who set wrestling back 20 years. The announcer did nothing but imitate Joey Styles and even used insider terms. And they had no idea of the progression of matches. Every match was so hardcore, by the time you got to the main event, there was no “Holy s***, this is the main event” moment. Sometimes, you watch a promotion and think, “Hm, I’d like to see them again.” This was so bad, I don’t think I’ll be getting this year’s KOTDM Tournament.
But enough of a retread. They opened up in Chicago (in CM Punk’s hometown) with CM Punk’s music. Out came Johnny Ace dressed in CM Punk’s outfit. He tried to make a guantlet match featuring CM Punk. Then Punk tried to get Ace to accept a match with him. Groan… Punk was just missing something. Really can’t put my finger on it.
Booker T is wrestling Cody Rhodes. Again. I ended up not seeing TLC, but wasn’t I just supposed to pay money for this? It just seems like we’re getting the same matches over and over and over again. They are not squash matches if the loser looks like they have a chance of winning. The WWE product is so repetitive that there’s no newness to their matches. Booker T won. As glad as I am to see him win, why did we have to watch that?
Zack Ryder is thanking John Cena. All along Zack Ryder had it in himself.
Kelly Kelly and Big Show are hawking an app of some kind. Then Scotty Armstrong tells Big Show that Johnny Ace needs him now!
So Big Show punched David Otunga on Smackdown. Then Show said he could beat Otunga with one hand tied behind his back. I guess they are watching old nWo footage. Now Dolph and Swagger are arguing. It was pretty fun until the Planet of the Apes comment. That just sounded so 10-year-old on the playground. Ugh, just soooooooo bad.
Eve an Zack Ryder come out to the ring. They seemed to get pretty decent crowd reactions. Then there was Tyson Kidd and Nattie Neidhart. It was actually not too bad of a match. I think the referee fell out of the ring as he was making the 3rd count. How botchariffic.
Cena came out and cut a really forced promo praising the city of Chicago. He called out Kane and got The Miz. Miz wanted Cena. Cena accepted. A few minutes into the match, Miz couldn’t handle that people weren’t chanting for him. So he cuts a promo on Chicago and gets counted out. Are you f***ing kidding me? As he’s done, we get the R-Truth return. I really liked his return.
We were saved from the retro nWo match by Big Show. It was short and painless. Mark Henry came out. Daniel Bryan came out. Then it was just Big Show and David Otunga in the ring. He channeled The Giant of old and did a chokeslam like he’d just joined the nWo all over again.
Then Alberto Del Rio came out in a wheelchair. He told us all that he had a torn groin. Then the fans laughed. Classy. Then the Bellas got to fight over who could throw a party to help him recover. Awful.
Swagger jobbed first. Then he attacked Punk to wear him down for Ziggler. I liked Punk and Ziggler’s work. Ace stopped the match, distracted Punk and then Ziggler pinned Punk. What a good opportunity for Ziggler. No hate over getting to watch those two. Just that I watched this match not too long ago.
AAA’s El Zorro Kane is walking to the ring. He starts explaining and Cena’s music hit. Kane cut a very nice promo explaining why he attacked Cena. He wanted Cena to give in to the hate. I thought Kane delivered his lines very well. I just felt like I was watching Empire Strikes Back.
Overall, I’d have to say this was an awful Raw. There was nothing that got my attention for this show. The most exciting thing was R-Truth’s return. Remember yesterday when the Mavericks stunk up their home court? Let’s say the fans start booing Dirk. Does he get on the mic and ask how dare they boo him? That’s what we got with the Miz. It was uninspired, outright insulting and nothing worth seeing.
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Sources are now saying WWE is working on their network and is planning on launching it the day of Wrestlemania. So if you think Twitter, has been pushed down our throats, get ready. You have seen nothing yet.
Last night, I got to finish my first Dragon Gate USA match and had my life irrevocably changed. Something tells me things are going to seem worse because I have watched a match that will now be in my top 20 of all time. I also had the chance to see a really fun MPX show this weekend, so I’m still reeling off that. Maybe tonight I will watch wrestling as a diversion, which is exactly what it should be. If it’s painful, I may find myself going on Twitter and mocking it with my “tweeps.” Sometimes that makes it more entertaining than the show itself. I guess it’s because I do love wrestling so much that I want WWE to succeed and be good.
Sorry for my rant. Here is Monday Night Raw.
We start off with John Cena. The crowd is pretty mixed for him. Cena cut a pretty decent promo. And then we had Alberto Del Rio interrupt him. And then Cena went into 10-year-old-kid at the playground mode. Alberto Del Rio have footage of why he deserved a title shot. Then Vickie Guerrero interrupted the promo. Dolph Ziggler is in the main event mix? Cena tried to have a certain edge in his promo. It just sounded like a 10-year-old trying to cuss. Then the Miz came out. I hate to say this, but Miz’ swagger showed that the other three were not on his level. I liked the edgier direction they took this promo. Then Johnny Ace took the mic and could barely remember his lines. Then Ace set up Miz-Randy Orton.
Randy Orton vs. Miz was a pretty decent match. It had a good intensity. Wade Barrett came out and distracted Orton when Miz slithered back into the ring to get the win by countout. Made Miz look good without Orton losing. I’m liking Orton’s work, which is a compliment since I don’t really like him. I’m also liking the Orton-Barrett feud.
Zack Ryder is talking to Johnny Ace about how great the WWE Network looks. I guess a human being wasn’t available. Then John Cena shows up shilling some merchandise. Johnny Ace makes a match. Zack Ryder vs. John Cena. Ryder gets a US title shot if he wins. Cena gets into the title match if he wins. Interesting.
David Otunga tells Kevin Nash he will face HHH in a ladder match with a sledgehammer. I think Viscera would have a better ladder match than Kevin Nash. And now Kevin Nash gets to destroy some upstart’s career.
We got Del Rio vs. Daniel Bryan. It wasn’t much of a match. Bryan was still coming off his rib injury so he was out to do the glorified job. I don’t think he lost too much.
We got Eve & Kelly Kelly vs. Beth Phoenix & Nattie. It is nice to know we haven’t seen that match before (<-sarcasm font). My wife heckled their work. That’s bad.
Then we got John Cena vs. Zack Ryder. I’m intrigued to see where this will go. John Cena beat him without killing him too badly. So the WWE is going to work on building John Cena by having him beat the most popular wrestler in the company.
John Cena had a lot of fire for his backstage promo with Johnny Ace. He gave up his title shot for Zack Ryder to get another chance. That is a good step in rebuilding John Cena.
Zack Ryder got Mark Henry. Ouch. Ryder sold like Shawn Michaels. Then John Cena comes out and does an Attitude Adjustment and has Ryder cover Henry. Strange. Ryder beat Henry but was not put over.
Nash walked down to the ring in record time. He killed Santino.
For the main event, I got Dolph Ziggler-Sheamus. Ryder interfered and Sheamus ended up getting the win. In some ways I think Dolph Ziggler is this generation’s Mr. Perfect. And that is NOT a name I use lightly.
Then there was a contract signing. CM Punk came out and cut some major promos. Miz has so much fire. The fans are rejecting Alberto Del Rio. Then there was some major battling that went on.
All in all… Pretty decent Raw. I like the edgy inside stuff. They seemed to be focused.
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Last night was Survivor Series and I don’t think I felt the hate that others did. I thought the first hour was pretty good (sans Super Dave reminding us this was his 10-year anniversary with the company). I was surprised with the 10-man tag match. I thought Orton was winning all along and instead, Rhodes and Barrett were made to look strong. I hated the way that Sheamus was eliminated. And I really hated the way Sin Cara was eliminated. He is getting a push and a build that any wrestler would KILL for. And he does nothing but piss on it with his attitude, ego, wellness violations and an in-ring style that makes Mason Ryan look like Ric Flair. I know accidents happen, but you really should be able to not mess up as much as he does. Right now, he’s not ready from an in-ring standpoint for the wrestling fundraiser at the VFW, much less the national stage of the WWE.
Sorry for my Sin Cara tangent. I know I was able to go grocery shopping, rotate my tires and read “Of Mice and Men” in the time it took Big Show to get to the top rope and do a Savage elbow. But it was am incredible moment. I dare say that was the “Holy s***” moment of the year from WWE. And of course, the CM Punk moment with Howard Finkel announcing him as new champion was indescribable. I also thought Miz and Truth didn’t look weak against Cena & Rock. Rock has never minded trying to make a new star. There were some moments I could have lived without, mostly involving Super Dave Osborne, David Otunga and Matista, the Walking Wellness Violation.
Raw opened as it should have. CM Punk, The Champ, walking to the ring. Punk is just money on the mic. Then Super Dave Osborne killed the atmosphere. CM Punk went off on him. Punk can draw a good segment even out of Super Dave. The fans do not want Super Dave on tv.
They showed footage of The Rock cutting a promo and the crowd chanting “We Want Ryder.” Wow. They introduced Zack Ryder and the crowd chanted like he was Stone Cold in 1997. As Ricardo Rodriguez came out to the ring, Zack Ryder grabbed the mic and said “Woo woo woo. You know it.” I’m not sure how I feel about this. Two of my favorite personalities going after each other. It was a quick match. Alberto Del Rio destroyed him. I get what the WWE was trying to do here. Getting heel heat on ADR by him beating Ryder. But instead of heat, it just killed the crowd.
Then came out my Team Pasty White idol, Sheamus. He got Jack Swagger. Their match was pretty good. They are both two very good athletes, so if they feud, the matches should be really good. Jack Swagger just makes me mad. And it has nothing to do with the person. I think that if he were in Ring of Honor, he’d be champ. He looks so uncomfortable being a character.
Kevin Nash cut a promo. Nobody cares about Kevin Nash. Kevin Nash doesn’t induce heel heat. He doesn’t induce any heat. The only thing worse than a hated wrestler is a wrestler people don’t care about. That’s exactly what Nash is.
Cody Rhodes squashed Santino Marella. Even Michael Cole said, “Thanks for coming, Santino.” The commentary was a lot better tonight. Cody Rhodes threw a glass of water at his half-brother’s former tag team partner. I like that they’re planning on using Booker T to create talent.
Dolph really is the unsung hero of the WWE. It was really probably the biggest match on Raw this year. I feel bad that I couldn’t write more detail, but it was great.
Good video package for Kane.
Big Show cut a really decent promo. Very short.
Divas are now being forced to pimp video games. Poor things. Beth looked very boobalicious in that outfit. Sorry, you put that out there, I’m going to look. Sorry, Alicia & AJ.
We then got Wade Barrett squashing Kofi Kingston. Then Randy Orton came out. Kofi Kingston looks lower than Curt Hawkins after this match. But Kofi ended up getting some offense at him.
John Cena talked or something. Then Miz and R-Truth came out. They sounded well. Cena sounded like a 10-year-old trying to rile up the other kids on the playground. He tried to stir up crap between Miz and Truth.
For an hour and a half, this was a really good Raw. And then Cena happened and Awesome Truth were dissolved because… ? I think the ending alone makes it a bad Raw.
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This is probably one of the most tiring weekends of my life. And not only that, Raw is during an Eagles game. We are coming to you delayed from Liverpool. For those of you who don’t mind me going into my life, I am a Liverpool FC fan. (YNWA)
We open up Raw with a really great exchange between Cena and Miz/Truth. Once fisticuffs started flying, Zack Ryder came out to his rescue.
We had Dolph Ziggler take on John Morrison as he continued his Future Endeavored Tour. Vickie looked really nice in her outfit. This was a pretty decent match. My wife was not happy over Morrison wearing a shirt. She also did not like the match. It went on too long and they weren’t really doing anything (according to her). What I thought was awesome was the crowd cheering for Ziggler. Morrison should have walked out with a Suarez jersey. Morrison snapped his losing streak. I was pleased with the match. It looked like they put some effort into it.
Then came the Walking Wellness Violation Mason Ryan against JTG. I’m still more shocked JTG’s on Raw. It was a squash match. Even though I don’t like the guy they’re pushing, I gotta give them credit. They’re trying to make a star. The crowd had no reaction to him whatsoever.
We got a gratuitous “Wrestlemania Will Be Big” package. Then the Bellas supported Zack Ryder. I thought we were supposed to cheer him.
Then we got Alberto Del Rio vs. Kofi Kingston. These titles are so meaningless. I hate that it was the at the tag champ’s expense, but they made ADR look strong.
Then Punk came out. And ADR delivered the most scripted promo I’ve ever heard. He called ADR one-dimensional. About freakin’ time. And CM Punk wants the belt and to make the title interesting again. (Wow, did he really just say that?) I think the first hour was pretty good overall. The WWE “Creative” Team needs to come up with something else for Del Rio to say other than “This is my destiny.”
Then we watch the Muppets recap. Then we get the ridiculously stale Jack Swagger rematching against Santino Marella. Swagger won. Yawn.
Kelly Kelly is on the cover of Maxim. We all die a little on the inside. Please watchSHIMMER. They have real women’s wrestling. This segment was so awful. Kelly Kelly should never be given a microphone again.
Then we got Super Dave Osborne introducing Kevin Nash. Nash, for everything that’s wrong with him being an active part of the WWE product in 2011, is great on the mic. I still haven’t figured out where this is going.
Super Dave and David Otunga are courting or something. Then Otunga makes fun of Punk, Punk goes after him and then ADR attacks him.
Then we got the Cena/Ryder-Awesome Truth main events. I want to be mad for yet ANOTHER Raw with Cena as the main event. But can I be mad that we Zack Ryder in the main event? They turned this into a good match. Miz pinned John Cena. Yeah, I just typed that.
I will give this show credit. The first hour was very solid and I thought the main event did a great job of building Awesome Truth and Zack Ryder. Yeaaaaaa!!!!!!!!
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Last Monday night, the entire WWE roster (sans CM Punk, John Cena, Randy Orton and Sheamus) held a vote of confidence in HHH as the COO. The result? They all walked out on him, including the referees, announcers, and many of the technical crew. So how will this affect tonight’s episode of Smackdown? Will anyone show up? Or will we just see HHH standing in the middle of the ring shrugging his shoulders for two hours?
Well what’s up folks, good to see you all here alive and well again and welcome back to another edition of your favorite Sunday article by yours truly. While things keep going and the world keeps turning, I sit back and say to myself, “I can’t believe I just wrote this”. So lets get this show on the road: (more…)
