So I just finished iMPACT and I’m at a loss for words. Was the episode bad? No but it didn’t make much sense, that major glare of course was the reveal of Dixie and AJ. But first lets go over earlier parts of the show one being the Knockouts. Brooke Hogan is having a meeting with the talent in her dad’s office. I look around at the talent present and all I see is people who have already won the belt or are stuck in asinine story.
Madison- In Love with someone hopefully not Garett Bischoff
Velvet- who has had numerous chances to wrestle Gail and failed for the Women’s title
Mickie- who has been used to prop up Velvet
ODB- another ridiculous in love/jealously story with Eric Young with the Knockout titles no less
We start with a replay of the main event title match at Genesis. Where the heelish Roode kicks the ref to get disqualified to hold on the world title. Hardy twist of fate’s him and leaves a selfish Robert kissing the title.
Roode comes out with a cocky demeanor. Taking his time as the crowd boos him for cheating Hardy. Roode wants to call out Jeff to shake his hand. But instead gets Sting. Who tells The Selfish One that he will have a rematch with Hardy tonight. But this time if Roode tries to cheat his disqualification will result in the title changing hands. Roode throws a temper tantrum before we leave for commerical break.
We come back to a daytime promo of Crimson who is coming out of a Direct Auto Insurance location running into Morgan. They shoot the sh@# for lack of a better term about how Direct Auto is like family before Morgan reminds Crimson that they have a match tonight against the tag team Job Squad Robbie E and Robbie T. Awkward.
To make this sound better The two Robs don’t put up much offense considering that Robbie E keeps wanting to be tagged in when Rob T gets them down only to lose the advantage and be forced to scurry back over to Rob T. Blue Streak (Morgan & Crimson) make short work of them sending Robbie E for a double chokeslam ride to retain the belts. My how the Television title must be collecting dust for this squash. Oh and Magnus and Joe come out after the match and beat down on the champion.
We are introduced to “The Journey of Garett Bischoff” where we go through all his battles and eventual injury leading up to his return. And that is followed up by his father Eric Bischoff coming out and reminding all of us of his greatest hits. Which more than likely ended up in the five dollar bin next to Boston, the band not the city. Garett comes out and tells his dad that he will (like a cockroach) keep coming back no matter what he does. This leads to a father son bonding session where Garett puts his hands on his dad telling him to never touch him again. Because parental child abuse and “where did he touch you on the bear?” is riveting stuff.
We have a backstage segment where Winter and Angelina go over there accomplishments in the Knockout Division, Winter being a two time champion which lasted less than 3 weeks. And Angelina’s five knockout title wins, you know back when she wasn’t a time traveling zombie but a Beautiful Person. Winter opponent is the none other than the love birds ODB w/ EY. We get the usual lock up from Eric Young which the crowd eats up. The sideshow continues as EY runs around the ring getting the crowd laughing. After a pretty decent match where OD grabs her boobs and slaps her ass like a monkey so many times that I think she needs to seek sexaul harassment training. All this before the obligatory run in from Angelina which is foiled by EY who Gorilla Monsoon’s her with a Airplane Spin making him and her dizzy. (overbooking) causing EY to comically drop out of the ring through the ropes. ODB capitalizes with a F5 variation called The Bam giving her the three.
AJ Styles comes to the ring to call out Kaz to figure what happened last week to cause his partner to walk. What I proceed to witness is a married couple fight. That is until the mistress Christopher Daniels walks down to the ring to direct Kazarian out of the ring like his bitch. Laughing at AJ until she, he attacks him. Kaz pulls Daniels out of the ring.
An Abyss and Bully Ray segment airs. Then shifts to Ray in the back with Roode who is distraught over his rematch with Hardy. Ray makes a crack about Roode being angry because Ray is trending on twitter. The Bully promises to have Roode’s back tonight as long as he gets a title shot.
James Storm who is still livid over losing to Angle Genesis night with a cheap low blow and kick to the head, heads down where he calls out Angle. In a replay from a couple months ago Angle isn’t prepared to wrestle. But Sting tells him he has till the end of the commercial break to get ready. Angle who is almost counted out gets his but handed to him in the early part of he match until he takes control after what could be described as a good match full of reverses, competitors using the others show move and near falls leads to Storm dropping Angle with a front lung blower and following up with a super kick for three.
World title match. Jeff makes a promo where he says he’s ending the selfish generation tonight when he wins the title. When Roode won’t step in the ring when Jeremy Borash is announcing him Hardy baseball slides out of the ring. After earlier dominance where Jeff walked Roode around throwing him into everything he can gets his hands on. That is until a misplaced steel steps jumps rattles Hardy stupid leading to a double 10 count which is when the first 10 count is restated after one of the wrestlers rolls back in. Roode takes control where he lays down Jeff with a blockbuster and the double R spinebuster. Jeff makes a comeback after a stunner and a twist of fate followed by a swanton. Just as the refs hand is coming down for three Ray pulls out the Referee. Causing Hardy to dive outside the ring after him. In all the confusion where Hardy is screaming at the entrance ramp whats going on which causes Hardy’s music to play signaling the end of the show.
Well, tonight’s Raw has been built around a return. There are rumors that Chris Jericho has been spotted at the Memphis airport. So have Undertaker and Michelle McCool. Rumors are flying around about Brock Lesnar. I think everybody has been spotted except Chyna. So tonight begins Raw.
We start if off with a video package. And then John Cena starts off Raw. Any buzz I had for Raw was killed the moment Cena’s music hit. My daughter was still up and the minute she saw John Cena, she reached for the remote. I cannot make this up. So John Cena cut an ok promo on how fans can chant whatever they want. He’s going to keep on being John Cena. Then Kane does the same s*** he always does and we get pyro.
Daniel Bryan is introduced and the crowd doesn’t even come close to reacting for him. This was a pretty decent match. We got to watch Cody show off his skills as a mat technician. Bryan did get some chants. But would he have without Cody? It was a really short good match. Bryan won and then went over and celebrated with the crowd. The only thing is that it was kind of really excessive.
Johnny Ace recapped all the stuff with Miz. We get Miz and Sheamus. And then he called Miz a lame duck. Then they showed Miz walking away throwing a temper tantrum. And then R-Truth mocked a duck. Congratulations, WWE. You just killed R-Truth.
They showed recaps of all the Wade Barrett stuff. And he was interrupted by Santino Marella of all people. Sure enough, Wade killed him. The best part was the Speed references. R-Truth is now stalking the Miz.
Miz came out full of fire. And then Sheamus beat the sternum off of Miz. Miz tried running away. Then R-Truth was out in the crowd. R-Truth’s voices are now Little Jimmies. And then he beat up Miz with the Water Bottle of Doom. I feel really bad for Miz having to sell that. Then R-Truth found a kid and had him say something. I liked the segment. I just want to see more from what R-Truth is given to say.
Dolph Ziggler cuts a nice short promo.
Zack Ryder is trying to flirt with Eve Torres. Then Jack Swagger tries to talk trash. Ryder sounded sooooooo stupid. Then Johnny Ace makes a 6-man tag. So now Punk isn’t even going to be the main event? WWE, listen to what I say very closely. F*** you.
I really liked the feel of the Punk/Ziggler match. It felt exactly like a main event should be. Too bad it wasn’t one. It was a good match with lots of near-falls. Johnny Ace interfered and there was a countout. Ziggler won and then ran away with the belt. He didn’t win the belt.
The Bellas came out looking really smoking hot. We then got Kelly and Eve vs. Bellas. The Bellas won. It was pretty decent for usual divas matches.
Punk delivered a promo where he was going to beat Johnny Ace “like a bitch.” Ooh, they said the word “bitch.” Let me know when Punk drops a pipebomb.
Then they revealed the return of Chris Jericho. It was a pretty awesome moment. He looked genuinely happy and enthusiastic to be out there. It was the kind of reaction Hogan thinks he gets. He played with the crowd for a little bit and then went to the back.
The main event was such a non-event. At least Cena and Ryder had the advantage. The only good part was Kane attacking Ryder afterwards and then laying out Cena and Ryder some more. Kane was about to suck Ryder into the abyss when Cena pulled him out at the end. Cheesy, but it IS a TVPG product.
This was a pretty decent Raw. I’m close to calling it good, but we’re not quite there. I had things I liked: Ziggler’s promo, Bryan-Rhodes and Miz. There were some things I didn’t like: Cena in the main event, the Ziggler-Punk finish (not because of the countout but because Ziggler acted like he had won the belt) and opening it with a video package.
There were some nice questions to be asked here and all of them are WTF’s revolving around Jericho. And that is as it should be. Now we have a reason to come back.
No disrespect to the fans with the title. I’m a fan myself but this show with all this innuendo of changes lacked any. The ring and outside arena still had TNA posted everywhere with a hue of blue and added rows of seats which another reviewer on TNAsylum pointed out. Was that the change? I doubt it. But here’s to Thursday on finding out. Well lets get into what TNA Impact Wrestling is all about. Impact Wrestling presents Sacrifice.
Mexican America vs Ink Inc.
I wasn’t expecting much from this match. I mean Anarquia has shown a total disregard to impress and Hernandez just doesn’t seem to care anymore. But then you have Jesse Neal and his infectious energy makes me smile. Oh and Shannon Moore and his book make me shake my head. But then seeing as how Moore had one of the best spots of the evening. Sailing off the ring onto Hernandez with a moonsault. The match was sub par besides with predictable interference by Rosita and Sarita. And a botched over the top rope clothesline by Moore on Anarquia. Shockingly due to a miscommunication involving Moore attempting to hit Rosita and Neal objecting. Hernandez was able to hit his modified border toss on Neal giving the win to Mex America. Why was I shocked? Ink Inc is the number one contender for the tag titles leading into Slammiversary. I’m adamant that Christina Von Eerie should be there as well but that is probably wishful thinking. So naturally, Ink Inc getting the win would make them look strong going in. But we still have 3 weeks to make amends.
Hopefully with it now being iMPACT Wrestling we can stop having Promos in our PPV’s. We get one here as Jeff and Karen come out to announce that they can not compete in the mixed tag match. Foley comes out again the announcement “wrestling matters” is uttered. He tells the Jarretts that the next time they bring X rays make sure it doesn’t belong to a 6’6 African American male. Karen shrieks throws off boot in a temper tantrum leading to Mick exiting. Match on. The crowd is amp to have Chyna.
Brian Kendrick…shoots a promo on the X Division. I wish I knew what he was saying since he is all mystical and what not. All I caught was the word molested. I don’t now in what context. But it was said. To sum up he just promises to show how important the X division is.
Brian Kendrick vs Robbie E w/ Cookie.
Robbie comes out as Cookie walks out messing with he phone/camera? Anyway the crowd seems to be nonchalant. Mr. Gym Tan Wrestling, fist pumps for Cookie while she takes a picture. Again the crowd could care less. Kendrick steps out in his white robe to a good crowd pop. Kendrick 1, Robbie 0. Once in he puts on his gimmick meditating dead center in the ring. Cookie, trying to win a screeching contest against Karen shouts that “you’re a freak!” As Robbie holds her back. Exit Cookie. And we have Kendrick alive and booting E in the face. Kendrick 2, Robbie 0. Then the junior banshee interferes. Distracted Robbie takes control beating Kendrick ragged even getting him outside of the ring. Where Cook’s proceeds to choke him with her boot. Robbie setting up for his signature neck-breaker (god forbid I have no idea what’s its called. And I refuse to call it “Rude Awakening” in fear that Rick would haunt me) Reversed. Kendrick beats Rob with a dropkick into a pin. Huh?! I knew he sucked but really. Kendrick acts all crazy holding Earl Hebner’s hand. He even weirds out Rob when he tries to shake his hand. Your winner: Kendrick.
Promo time again folks. But this time its hot cougarish Tara. Trust me I’ve seen this woman without make-up Vickie has nothing on her. Tara’s unhappy with Madison. The bossiness and in general being a lackey. Then Madison appears to remind Tara about how she has a job because of her. Folks I won’t lie when she came on all that kept going through my mind was “Why is she here?” “She should of stayed in a shimmer tag team” and my favorite thought “God, please severe her vocal cords. please I’ll go to church,eventually”. Time for the match.
Mickie James (c) vs Madison Rayne (With Tara’s freedom on the line)
Here comes the Queen Bee (seriously she has a sash with the title) and the gaudiest oversized crown I’ve ever seen. That better be from the dollar general. In full royal mode, the crowd is dead. Canned heat where are you? In the words of another TNA watcher, The Rayne Experiment has failed. No one and I do mean no one cared when she came out. Then Mickie came out. The roof exploded. She could do no wrong. I seriously believe that she could of killed a puppy and folks would still cheer for her. Lets get ready to… Tara’s theme music hits. The crowd breaks into further excitement. Again the Rayne Experiment elicits no response. A faceoff between Rayne and Tara distracts long enough for Mickie to get on the offensive. Tara seems conflicted. Should she hit Mickie. Only a minute in and I’m already sensing an overbook coming on.
To break it down simply this match is a TNA haters dream. Overbooking. check. horrible in ring competitor. check. A last minute reintroduction of the loaded glove. check. Tara makes the save for Mickie after 2!! Ref bumps. Tara finally makes the decision to cold cock Rayne with the loaded glove letting Mickie get the 3count. Crap match over.
Sorry about that but I was a big fan of the Knock out division. In 2009. This was a bad match indeed. But it will get better in the future, right? No. Chances are we will see Velvet Sky vs Mickie for the title. At least she’s over?!
Fortune promo. Line remembered. Kaz- Max Buck you wouldn’t be a star even if thrown by a ninja. Or something to that effect. Other smack talk by Beer Money and AJ. Next.
Max Buck vs Kazarian(c)
Good mat wrestling. (I swore when this was going on someone yelled “boring”) Buck plays the egotistical heel to perfection. Slapping and name calling. Some really cool spots with a over the ropes leg drop. Buck reversed 3 fade to blacks by Kaz. Kaz follows up with a powerbomb to the outside. Buck comes in with a top rope cutter and a 450 degree splash for a two count. Kaz goes old school (shout out to Allison Danger) and beats Buck with a shining wizard. Good. Now if only it was hyped.
Promo. A 6’6 360lb homeless man talks about pain and breaking a undefeated streak. Then I realize that its Abyss. Next up its TNA’s John Cena taking on Crimson.
With Crimson’s imaginary 5 month winning streak on the line (I now I’m being harsh but times have changed from Samoa Joe) he takes on Abyss strong only slowing down when he spears a turnbuckle. After that the Cena of TNA controls the majority of the match. Crimson resumes control with one double clothesline and a seven count. Abyss reverses with a chokeslam. then comes Janice. Crimson spears Abyss, Abyss loses Janice. Crimson goes to the well once too often and is big booted. Abyss pulls out a Vader Bomb from the corner. 2 count. Crimson hits Cena with the Red Sky Powerbomb (D’lo Brown’s Sky High) keeping his streak intact. After some posturing Abyss goes back to lick his wounds. Now please can we have Joe vs Crimson now?
Promo. Its like deja vu. No. Its a vignette. Beer Money vs Hardy/Harris
I’ll keep it short. Harris plays a heel and won’t fight Storm one on one. He’ll only sneak attack. So no big showdown between the two. Which would of made sense. Remember 2006 when the team of AMW split? Storm was the one who attacked Harris. Almost taking out an eye. Leading to that hilarious blindfold match. Well now its Harris’ turn to play heel as he and Matt lose after Beer Money hits Harris with the AMW finisher Death Sentence. Mind Games no avail. Next.
Oh its Bully Ray being interviewed by Jeremy Borash. And he is being a bully threatening to beat on Borash and making lewd comments about AJ’s wife. I hope she isn’t watching. So we will see Ray vs Styles? Nope.
Dreamer vs Styles
Lets keep it real short. Ray interferes in this No DQ bout this sets Styles up for a piledriver on a table. Dreamer wins. Next.
Another vignette. Not complaining as long as its not a promo.
The Jarret’s vs Angle/Chyna
Kurt is an undiscovered comedian. His smirk during the entire match was classic. It brought back memories of the axe wielding incident at the wedding. Chyna is over big time. Fans are chanting for her to kick Karen’s butt. After a good back and forth between Jarret and Angle, Chyna is finally tagged in. The fans erupt. false alarm. Jarret stays in the ring and continues the fight with Kurt. Angle goes for his exploding triple Germans then an Angle slam. 2count. Chyna comes in and body slams then vertical suplexe’s Jarret. Eventually chasing Karen back into the ring Chyna splashes Karen in the corner. Karen dazed is hit with the double under hook DDT. (pedigree for wwe fans). Chyna locks in the ankle lock followed by Kurt on Jarret. Karen taps. Angle/Chyna victorious.
Main Event Vignette.-Then Anderson comes out to blog and commentate.
RVD vs Sting
The match is decent. Rob shows off. Sting pulls out some moves. They fight in the crowd. RVD pulls an impressive cross body onto Sting from the second stands. Sting blocks Rolling Thunder. A Stinger Splash is countered by a spin kick. One botched deathdrop then a rinse and repeat Deathdrop closes the match with the win for Sting. Afterwards Anderson has a stare down with Sting. Slammiversary IX promo
And that is the end of Sacrifice. Wasn’t great but I didn’t pay for it so decent. Here’s hoping for the iMPACT arena changes come Thursday.