Tonight, the very last remnants of a company that I truly loved a decade ago will finally be laid to rest. The letters ECW, which truly meant something to so many wrestling fans before the WWE got it’s hands on them, will finally be put out of their misery at 11:05 PM following a battle for the brand’s championship between two men who never competed in a real ECW match, Christian and Ezekiel Jackson.
Though this contest will be contested under Extreme Rules, it will be nothing like the ECW matches that took place under the watch of Paul Heyman. An independent wrestling promotion that dug and clawed it’s way up from late night showings in the Philadelphia market to become a viable number three (and some would argue number two) promotion in the United States, ECW was a victim of it’s own success. Vince McMahon and Eric Bischoff started to notice ECW, and started to buy up the promotion’s top stars. Heyman couldn’t afford to keep his stars paid and ultimately, ECW closed it’s doors in 2001.
The WWE bought the rights to the promotion, and in 2004 released “The Rise and Fall of ECW” on DVD. The success of that release, and a suggestion from Rob Van Dam, led to a WWE produced ECW Pay Per View titled “One Night Stand” in 2005. Several performers from ECW’s past participated in the event, which was a success for World Wrestling Entertainment. By the time the company put on a followup in 2006, the decision had been made to bring ECW back as a brand of the WWE along with RAW and SmackDown, and at One Night Stand 2006, Rob Van Dam defeated John Cena for the WWE Championship. Two nights later, he was given the ECW Championship on the first edition of ECW on SciFi.
By December, Paul Heyman was released from his World Wrestling Entertainment contract following the failed “December to Dismember” Pay Per View, and from there, the brand started to evolve into what we’ve been seeing on SyFy every Tuesday night, which is a far cry from the gift that Todd Gordon and Paul Heyman gave the world in the mid 90’s. Tonight, the show will air for the last time, and the letters E-C-W will finally be able to R.I.P.
Some NASCAR guy (note: It’s Carl Edwards) hosts RAW tonight as we witness the next chapter in the war between Bret “Hitman” Hart and Vince McMahon. What role will John Cena and Batista play? Will Edge make another RAW appearance? And who will walk out with the Unified Tag Team Championships – DX, Miz-Show, or CM Punk’s Straight Edge Society? All this and more, tonight!
ECW’s got Vince McMahon making some announcements. And we open with Abraham Washington having ECW champ Christian on the show, fresh off his successful defense against Ezekial Jackson. (more…)
– A video package runs focusing on various TNA stars and how their dream was to become a star in the world of professional wrestling. “This is who I am…this is what I do…” uttered the various TNA stars in the promo. The video package then focuses on tonight’s AJ Styles vs. Kurt Angle main event for the TNA World Heavyweight Championship.
– A graphic opening hits welcoming us to TNA Genesis. We go live to the Impact Zone in Orlando, FL where a series of pyro goes off above the ring and in the entrance area. Mike Tenay welcomes us to the show in what he dubbed the first TNA PPV of the “Hulk Hogan and Eric Bischoff era.”
– Hulk Hogan’s music hits and he makes his way out into the Impact Zone along with Eric Bischoff. They have gotten rid of the two entrance tunnels and simply have a big entrance area under a big tron. The ramp also connects to a new four-sided traditional ring as they are ditching the six-sided ring. We see a shot of Brooke Hogan cheering on her father in the crowd. Hogan gets on the mic and says, “Well guys I guess all there is to say is welcome to Genesis!” He says welcome to the brand new Impact Zone (which gets some boo’s). Hogan said he told everyone there would be change and everything would be moving and shaking. The crowd starts a loud “WE WANT SIX SIDES” chant. Hogan said there is no more play pen rings and this is where professional wrestling is meant to be done. He said there competitor likes to refer to themselves as “sports entertainment”, but he is proud to be aligned with TNA where professional wrestling still lives. Eric Bischoff takes the mic and said he knows no one likes change, but change is what they are all about. He said change starts tonight with this ring and there is a hell of a lot more coming our way. Hogan said there is only one last thing to say, “Whatcha gonna do Vince McMahon, when TNA comes for you!”
– Mike Tenay and Taz welcome us to the show and we are going to kick things off with The Amazing Red defending the TNA X Division Championship against a mystery opponent. Red is out first to a big reaction from the crowd in Orlando. Red’s opponent is…former WWE star The Brian Kendrick.
TNA X Division Championship
The Amazing Red (c) vs. Brian Kendrick
Brian Kendrick takes the champion Amazing Red down early on. More armbar takedowns by Kendrick on Red. Kendrick with a camel clutch with forearm shots into a crossface. Red with a big snap huracanrana on Kendrick. Kendrick fires back with a big running spear on Red and then sends Red to the outside with a flying kick to the face. Kendrick goes to work on the knee of Red kicking him off his feet and then applying pressure against the ropes. During the match, Tenay and Taz noted on commentary that Bobby Lashley is claiming he will not wrestle tonight and that they hope to have more on that soon. Kendrick goes up top and Red catches him with a big kick to the head. Red then takes out Kendrick with a huge senton dive off the top turnbuckle. Red then follows that up with a missile dropkick on Kendrick in the ring. Kendrick with a single leg boston crab on Red after Red missed a shot from up top. Red with a kick to the head on Kendrick and rolling armbar. Kendrick with a nearfall on Red. Red gets the pinfall on Kendrick with a springboard Code Red.
Winner & STILL TNA X Division Champion: The Amazing Red
– Backstage, Hulk Hogan and Eric Bischoff is with Kevin Nash, Scott Hall and Sean Waltman. Bischoff said he appreciates the help with Mick Foley, but reminds them that Nash is the only one under contract. Bischoff said Hall and Waltman need to prove themselves. Hall asks Nash for some help tonight. Waltman asks what about him. Hall and Waltman play rock/paper/scissors on who will join Nash tonight. It looks like Waltman won, but I’m pretty sure everyone is still confused on what just happened.
Sean Morley vs. Daniels
Before the match, Morley got on the mic and said tonight he presents his first TNA Films production for the ladies. Daniels walks out and gets on the mic saying TNA is about wrestling and not the goofy stuff Morley is talking about. Daniels tells Brooke Hogan to shut up when she stands up making some noise at him. Daniels said he already has a review for Morley’s first TNA production and it isn’t a thumbs up. Daniels walks in the ring and flips off Morley. The bell rings and they start brawling. Morley with some big knees to the gut on Daniels into a russian leg sweep. Morley with a pump handle slam on Daniels. Daniels fights back dropping Morley head first off the ropes. Daniels focuses on the throat of Morley hitting a few palm strikes and then sending Morley throat first into the top rope. Daniels then chokes Morley’s throat against the top rope using his legs using the three count to his advantage. Daniels with a springboard moonsault on Morley. Morley fights back with some quick offense and then hits the Money Shot off the top rope to get the pinfall.
Winner: Sean Morley
– A video package runs highlighting the events between ODB and Tara.
TNA Knockouts Championship
Best 2 out of 3 Falls
ODB (c) vs. Tara
Both women exchange some big chops early on. Tara with some big kicks to ODB that is followed by a big kick to the back of the head. Tara with a springboard flipping leg drop on ODB that results in a two count. ODB fires back with a big fallaway slam on Tara. Tara with a rollup on ODB that results in a pinfall.
Winner of Fall #1: Tara
ODB goes after Tara right away powering her into the corner and choking her out. Tara gets ODB locked up in a tarantula sumbission against the ropes. ODB then goes on the attack on Tara on the outside. The referee starts the count and ODB rolls back in to break it up. ODB tosses Tara back in the ring and attempts a few pinfall attempts that all result in a two count. ODB then applies a full body submission on Tara. ODB keeps it locked on, twirls around the ring with Tara and gets into another pinfall with Tara finding a way to kick out. ODB started favoring her chest during the match like something was wrong. Tara then hit the Widow’s Peak suddenly and got the pinfall.
Winner of Fall #2: Tara
Winner & NEW TNA Knockouts Champion: Tara
After the match, we see a few highlights of the match featuring the two falls Tara won in a row. Back live, Tara is celebrating with the TNA Knockouts Championship.
– Backstage, Christy Hemme is with “The Pope” D’Angelo Dinero. Dinero cut a promo telling Desmond Wolfe that he better bring it tonight.
TNA World Tag Team Championships
The British Invasion (c’s) vs. Matt Morgan & Hernandez
We start with Matt Morgan and Brutus Magnus. They lock up and Morgan pushes Magnus away quickly. More quick offense by Morgan on Magnus hitting a big shoulder block. Magnus dodges a chokeslam attempt, kicks Morgan and tags in Doug Williams. Hernandez gets involved and breaks it up. Hernandez gets the legal tag and goes after Williams in the corner. Williams with a running knee to Hernandez, attempts a suplex, Hernandez blocks it, gets Williams up for a vertical suplex, Williams counters off and Hernandez hits a big body splash in the corner. Hernandez takes off his shirt, wraps it around the neck of Williams and tosses him across the ring. Magnus clips Hernandez when Hernandez has Williams up for a powerbomb. Hernandez pulls himself up top, but both Magnus and Williams jump up and take him down in a big superplex. More double teaming by Magnus and Williams on Hernandez with Magnus getting back the tag. Magnus with an abdominal stretch on Hernandez and uses Williams to apply more pressure. Hernandez fights back and Morgan gets the hot tag. Morgan takes out Magnus and Williams quickly. Morgan plants Magnus with a big spinning slam and elbows Williams in the corner. Morgan with a reverse chokeslam on Williams into the corner. Hernandez with a springboard shoulder block on Williams and Morgan takes out Magnus with a clothesline. All four men are down. Morgan with a chokeslam on Williams and Williams somehow kicks out. Magnus boots Morgan in the face allowing Williams to hit a german suplex into a bridge for a close two count. Morgan body splashes Magnus, throws him away and then tosses Williams off the top rope. Hernandez with a Dominator on Magnus and Morgan follows it up with a big running boot to the face for the pinfall.
Winners & NEW TNA World Tag Team Champions: Matt Morgan & Hernandez
After the match, we see highlights leading to the finish. Back live, Morgan and Hernandez are celebrating their win with the tag team gold over their shoulders.
– Backstage, we see Bobby Lashley heading into Hulk Hogan’s office. Abyss is speaking with Eric Bischoff when Lashley pushes him away. Abyss goes crazy and starts attacking Lashley. Abyss then knocks out Lashley and Bischoff said they just ruined their semi-main event. Hulk Hogan walks in and sees what happened. He asks Abyss what he is doing and that this is the last things he needs tonight. Hogan said the match is now off between Abyss and Lashley, but he has other plans for Abyss tonight.
“The Pope” D’Angelo Dinero vs. Desmond Wolfe
Wolfe was accompanied to the ring by a woman who removed his ring attire. The bell rings and they immediately lock up. Pope breaks it up with a few shots and kicks to Wolfe’s chest. Pope continues with kicks and trips up Wolfe in the corner. Pope goes up top and misses an elbow shot. Wolfe with a unique snapmare into the ropes on Pope. Wolfe does this a second time against the ropes. Wolfe then gets a boston crab applied on Pope. Wolfe keeps the action grounded by applying side headlocks on Pope or laying over his back applying a headlock. The two exchange a few chest chops and Wolfe gets the better of it taking Pope down. Wolfe gets Pope setup for a Tower of London, but Pope counters and takes Wolfe off his feet with a huge running spear. Pope then hits a quick suplex on Wolfe. Wolfe attempts another boston crab, but Pope counters into a nearfall. Pope with a sitdown powerbomb on Wolfe that results in a close two count. Another close nearfall for Pope. Wolfe then connects with his Lariat and gets the pinfall.
Winner: Desmond Wolfe
– Backstage, Jeremy Borash promotes tonight’s main event for the TNA World Heavyweight Championship when Eric Bischoff walks up cutting him off. Bischoff asks Borash what he is doing. Borash said he is doing his job. Bischoff said his job is to do whatever he tells him. He tells Borash that he has been pulled off television until further notice. Ric Flair then shows up and has a staredown with Bischoff. Flair then talks with Christy Hemme and said he goes where the greatest talent in the world goes.
– A video package runs highlighting the events leading into tonight’s tag team match between Beer Money and Kevin Nash & Scott Hall.
The Band (Kevin Nash & Sean Waltman) vs. Beer Money
Sean Waltman will be replacing Scott Hall tonight in tagging with Kevin Nash. The bell rings and we start with James Storm and Sean Waltman. Storm gets in a quick jab on Waltman and hits a few arm drags. Storm with a neckbreaker on Waltman and then tags in Robert Roode. Beer Money double team Waltman. Kevin Nash then gets the tag and goes to work on Storm in the corner. Waltman with a quick snap suplex on Storm into a side headlock. Tag back to Nash who drives his knees into the chest of Storm in the corner. Nash starts choking Storm in the corner and then tags Waltman back in who starts kicking Storm down in the corner as well. Storm with a Bronco Buster on Storm in the corner. Nash prevents a hot tag to Roode and goes back to work on Storm. Roode is able to get the hot tag and starts going after Waltman with a series of shots and a big high back body drop. Roode hits Nash with some big right hands. Beer Money then double team Nash and Waltman and do the “BEER…MONEY” pose. Scott Hall is then seen coming down the ramp distracting Roode and Storm. Hall then pulls a fan over the guard railing and starts beating him up as Waltman runs out to stop it. In the ring, Storm catches Nash with a superkick and Roode rolls up Nash for the pinfall.
Winners: Beer Money
– Backstage, Hulk Hogan and Eric Bischoff are watching the monitor. Hogan said he is going to call those guys out this Thursday on Impact to settle things once and for all.
– Abyss is on his way out to the Impact Zone awaiting his mystery opponent tonight. The lights go out and when they come back on we see former WWE star Ken “Mr. Kennedy” Anderson making his TNA debut. Anderson gets on the mic and said, “It looks like I crossed the line!” Anderson has a mic drop and introduces himself as “MISSSSSTTTTEEEERRRRR….ANDERSON.”
Abyss vs. Mr. Anderson
The bell rings and Anderson extends his hand to Abyss. Abyss goes to shake his hand and Anderson slaps him. Lots of quick offense by Anderson early on in the match. They then brawl to the outside where Anderson uses the ring to his advantage throwing Abyss up against it. Anderson pulls a steel chair from the crowd and tries to use it, but Abyss counters kicking it away and tossing Anderson back in the ring. Anderson comes back choking Abyss with his boot. Anderson sends Abyss into the corner, gets in a roll up and Abyss quickly kicks out. Abyss favors his left arm when Anderson runs into him with a shoulder block. Anderson takes advantage dropping his weight over the left arm of Abyss. Anderson then works over Abyss’ arm applying more pressure. Abyss eventually fights out and drops Anderson with a big boot. Abyss with a body splash on Anderson in the corner and a big side slam. Abyss attempts a chokeslam, but Anderson breaks it up. Abyss gets Anderson on his shoulders and Anderson jumps off hitting a reverse neckbreaker. Abyss catches Anderson with a chokeslam after he comes flying off the top rope. Abyss has Anderson back up and connects with a big Torture Rack. Abyss with a cover and Anderson kicks out. Abyss leaves the ring and grabs a steel chair. Once inside, Abyss has the chair taken away by the referee. We then see Anderson putting brass knucks on and catching Abyss with a big right hand. Anderson gets rid of the knucks without the referee noticing and gets the pinfall.
Winner: Mr. Anderson
After the match, Anderson gets on the mic and says, “The winner of the match…*shrugs*…*shrugs*…Misterrrrrr…*shrugs…Anderson.” Looks like he was trying to do his best Peter Griffin impression for you Family Guy fans out there.
– A video package runs highlighting tonight’s main event for the TNA World Heavyweight Championship between champion AJ Styles and challenger Kurt Angle.
TNA World Heavyweight Championship
AJ Styles (c) vs. Kurt Angle
The stipulation at hand is that if Kurt Angle loses, he will not receive another shot at the TNA World Heavyweight Championship in 2010. Lots of back and forth exchanges early on with Angle getting the better of Styles and Styles getting the better of Angle. Styles and Angle continue more back and forth exchanges on the mat feeling each other out. Angle with a german suplex attempt on Styles who flips back and lands on his feet. They continue at a rapid pace trying to take each other down and get a few nearfalls. Styles catches Angle with a huge dropkick after a series of counters. Styles with a snapmare and kick to the back combo on Angle. Angle attempts a comeback running at Styles, but Styles catches him with a big elbow and Angle falls to the outside. Styles attempts a springboard flip onto Angle, but stops himself and lands on the ring apron. Angle then trips up Styles who crashes on the outside. Back in the ring, Angle takes Styles down and applies a full body bearhug. Styles fights to his feet, but Angle grounds him with a big backbreaker. Angle continues to work on Styles in the corner.
Styles fights back with a few chops and then both collide in the middle of the ring. Both Styles and Angle are down. We then see Ric Flair walking down the ramp and getting closer to the ring. Flair stands at ringside and looks on as Angle and Styles start going at it again. Styles tosses Angle out of the ring, hits the ropes and hits a big flipping dive to take out Angle at ringside. Angle limps back into the ring and Styles connects with a backbreaker. Styles with a springboard clothesline on Angle that results in a two count. Angle counters a Styles Clash attempt, hits a german suplex, hits a second and then hits a third with a release. Styles counters an Angle Slam attempt, but Angle comes back hitting a fourth release german suplex. Styles catches Angle with a big Pele Kick, covers and gets a close two count. Angle then drives Styles into the corner and hits a few shoulder charges. Angle connects with a big clothesline on Styles in the corner, covers and Styles kicks out.
Styles with a snap huracanrana off the top rope on Angle. Styles with a springboard 450 splash, but Angle moves out of the way and connects with the Angle Slam. Angle covers and Styles kicks out. Angle can’t believe it. Angle with a moonsault attempt and Styles moves out of the way. Styles attempts a Styles Clash, but Angle counters into an Ankle Lock. Styles counters out flipping to his back and kicking Angle away. Styles with a springboard body splash, cover and Angle kicks out. Styles attempts another snap huracanrana from the top rope, but Angle counters and hits the Styles Clash on Styles! Styles kicks out. Styles counters an Angle Slam attempt into a big spike DDT. Angle misses a charge in the corner and Styles hits an Angle Slam on Angle. Styles covers Angle and Angle kicks out. Styles argues that it was three with the referee. Styles then goes up top, Angle sits up quickly and hits an Angle Slam off the top rope. Angle covers and Styles still finds a way to kick out. Angle with an Ankle Lock on Styles. Styles turns to his back to kick Angle away, but Angle holds on and keeps the Ankle Lock applied. Angle then falls to the mat to apply more pressure. Styles is about to tap out when Ric Flair pulls the referee out. Styles starts tapping, but there is no referee. Angle sees what Flair did and starts going after him. Angle chases Flair around the ring, inside the ring, Flair bails to the ramp and Styles takes out Angle with a clothesline. Flair tosses Styles the TNA World Title and Styles knocks out Angle with it. Styles tosses the belt away, Flair tosses the referee back inside and the referee counts the pinfall.
Winner & STILL TNA World Heavyweight Champion: AJ Styles
After the match, Ric Flair gets in the ring, hands the TNA World Heavyweight Championship to AJ Styles and raises his arm in the air. Styles starts celebrating with Flair. Flair and Styles take turns letting out a few WOOOOOOOO’s. We then see highlights of the match leading to the finish involving the interference from Flair.
Tune in at the top of the hour for live coverage of Monday Night RAW, with guest host, Bret ‘Hitman’ Hart.
We begin with a promo for Bret Hart, ending with the comments made between Vince and Shawn last week, in which ‘only good things will happen’.
Enter the Hitman… to new music. It sounds the same, but it’s got more of a rock feel to it.
“I guess Hell’s frozen over” – Bret Hart
The Hitman talks about why he has came back, and thanks the fans for still supporting him. He flashbacks to his past, and then gets right down to the nitty gritty. Bret Hart calls out Shawn Michaels.
Enter the Michaels.
Hart wants a truce between himself and HBK. Shawn decides to let rip on the Hitman, stating that he deserved what he got that night, and that he did have a part in the actions of that fateful night in Montreal. Shawn says that there are parts of him that doesn’t want to forgive him. He then goes on to say, that whenever he thinks of Bret Hart, he doesn’t think of Montreal, he thinks of Anaheim, California, and the 60-minute Iron match (his words, not mine). Michaels agrees with Bret, that he wants to bury the hatchet.
Hart says that Michaels wasn’t the easiest man to get along with, but says that now, he doesn’t want either career to be remembered for that night. Bret offers his hand, Shawn shakes it, and the truce is made. They finish with a hug, and that moment right there, is a moment I will never forget.
However, Bret’s not done. Hart calls out… Vince McMahon!! However, Vince doesn’t show.
PREVIEW FOR TONIGHT’S SHOW
Randy Orton vs. Kofi Kingston
D-Generation X (c) vs. JeriShow – Unified Tag Team Championships
We’ll be right back.
We return to find Josh Matthews outside Vince’s office. Apparently, Vince was in a meeting and didn’t hear the Hitman call him out.
Cole and King tells us that Melina was injured in a House Show recently, and thus has been stripped of whatever title she holds. An 8-Diva tournament will be held to determine the new Champion.
TOURNAMENT MATCH#1: Maryse vs. Brie Bella w/Nikki Bella
Oh look, a divas match, watch me not care.
The Twins switched, but that didn’t help.
YOUR WINNER: Maryse
Enter the Miz… and he has music. It says he’s awesome. He says that if Maryse wins, he might just call her back. Miz disagrees with 2010 being the year of Maryse, and says it’s the year of the Miz.
MATCH #2: FATAL FOUR WAY
#1 Contender Match: United States Championship
MVP vs. Jack Swagger vs. Carlito vs. Mark Henry
Don’t get suckered in by iMPACT!. join me after the break…
We return, already in action, and we are shown that Mark Henry was taken out of the matchup for now. Swagger with a PowerSlam-type move on Carlito for a near fall. Swagger then tries for a pin on MVP for another near fall. Swagger nails Carlito in the corner, as MVP gets out of the way. Henry is back in the ring, and starts cleaning house. Carlito is used as a weapon, before being put in a Bearhug. The All-American American American American breaks up the Bearhug, but receives a Torture Rack for his troubles. They take Henry out again, and MVP nails the Playmaker on Swagger for the win.
YOUR WINNER and #1 Contender: MVP
Jericho and Show are talking backstage. If Jericho loses tonight, then he’s off RAW. But the Ayatollah of Rock-N-Rollah has a plan, and he’s off to see the Hitman, the Wonderful Hitman of RAW.
Another break.. Y’all come back now.
We return to find out, that Fozzy’s new song “Martyr No More” is the offical song of the Royal Rumble!! Yieewwww
In the Hitman’s Office, enter the Jericho. He suggests Bret be the Guest Referee for the tag title match, so that Bret can screw Michaels. The Hitman doesn’t want to do another Montreal, Jericho thinks it’s an act.
Hornswoggle and Triple H are flogging off the new Mattel line of WWE toys. Hornswoggle wants to play, and Trips says no, until they retain the titles. Shawn enters and asks why Hunter treats Hornswoggle like a little boy, when he has a beard. Helmsley then brings in his Jericho impersonator (Santino Marella) , and sicks Hornswoggle onto him.
Hornswoggle, is now Triple H’s lap dog. Literally.
The Tag Titles are on the line, NEXT!!
Last week, over 2 million females watched RAW. Woop de fucking do.
MATCH #3: Unified Tag Team Championship
D-Generation X (c) vs. Chris Jericho and the Big Show
DX go for the advantage early, but Big Show ends up double suplexing both members.
A commercial follows.
Back from the break, and the challengers are in total control. Jericho just mocked a certain Hulk Hogan in the ring. Gee, I wonder why? Triple H with the Spinebuster! Both men down.
HBK trying to get Big Show down, and finally succeeds, before heading up top, and getting knocked down by Jericho. Hornswoggle gets involved as well, but it only leads to two. Michaels looks for Sweet Chin Music, but Shwo counters into a Chokeslam! Big Show looks for the cover, but Michaels kicks out. Jericho looks for the Walls, but HBK gets the tag to Triple H. A pedigree to Jericho, but Show breaks it up.
Big Show and Michaels out of the ring, and Jericho tries to steal the win, but only gets two. Y2J then hits the CodeBreaker!. but both men are down. Jericho finally goes the cover, but HBK breaks it up. Hronswoggle looks for Sweet Chin on Jericho, but he is knocked down. Jericho looks for the Walls on the Game, but HBK nails Sweet Chin Music, and Trips gets the fall.
YOUR WINNERS: D-Generation X
Stop. Commercial Time.
We return to see Chris Jericho leaving RAW, as per the pre-match stipulation.
Someone’s knocking on Vinnie Mac’s door, and it’s Randall. He has a business proposal for Vince. He wants to kick Bret’s head off, in exchange for the #30 spot in the Rumble. But Vince has his own security, and tells Randy to bugger off. Enter the Legacy. DiBiase and Rhodes want to repay the favour, from last week, by sitting ringside during Orton’s match with Kofi Kingston. Oh, and if Randy doesn’t win, they’re gonna throw him outta Legacy!
Find out (maybe), after the break!
TNA Genesis just got advertised during a RAW commercial. Somebody’s getting fired.
Next Week’s Guest Host… ‘Iron’ Mike Tyson!
Recap of last week’s title match between John Cena and Sheamus.
Enter the Sheamus. He says he’s the best there is, the best there was, and the best there ever will be. Does he not remember who the Guest Host is? Anyways, enter the… Bourne?
He wants a title shot, and thinks he can beat the Champion? HA! Sheamus calls him Little Evan Bourne, and asks for a referee.
If Bourne can beat Sheamus, then Evan Bourne gets a WWE Title shot at the Rumble? WTF?
MATCH #4: Sheamus vs. Evan Bourne
This match is impromptu, and if Bourne wins, he gets Sheamus at the Rumble for the title. You gotta be f**king kidding me right?
Even though Evan hits his ‘Air Bourne’, it doesn’t take long for Sheamus to win.
YOUR WINNER: Sheamus.
Sorry Evan, no title shot for you.
Cole and King, then talk about the life of ‘Dr. Death’ Steve Williams, who passed away after a long battle with throat cancer. He will be missed.
I’ll be right back.
Return to the misery, in which this is the first RAW I’ve watched in five months. No kidding. A Bret Hart promo video plays, showing the build-up, and the aftermath of the Survivor Series of 1997.
Kofi comes to the ring for his match, as it’s now…
Commercial time!
RAW was watched more than ABC, CW, NBC and FOX last week. Why do I have trouble believing that?
MATCH #5: Kofi Kingston vs. Randy Orton
Kofi in control early, clotheslining Randy over the top, then jumping over the ropes, and nailing Orton on the outside. Randall tries figbhting back, with a DDT in the ring, but that doesn’t work, and Kingston sends him to the outside again. Guess what’s next? Yep, you guessed it.
COMMERCIAL!
We return to find Randy Orton applying the patented Indiana Jones and the Chinlock of Doom! This leads to the momentum being in Randy’s favour. Back to the Chinlock of Doom!, but Kofi gets out of it, and both men are down. Kofi Kingston in control now, as the crowd doesn’t really care much for Kofi. Kingston nails Randall with a cross boyd, but it only brings him two. Kofi counters the RKO, into a fancy looking move, for another near fall.
Kingston looks to finish it with Trouble In Paradise, but Orton counters it into the RKO, and the three count.
YOUR WINNER: Randy Orton
Vince is going to the ring, tune in for it, NEXT!
COMMERCIAL!
Enter McMahon…I have a feeling, this is going to be HUGE!
Vince is trying to get the focus off of Montreal, however, it doesn’t take long for the Hitman to arrive. McMahon seems scared of Bret, as he brings back memories of the past between the two. Vince is trying to kiss Bret’s ass, in order to not get dropped.
Did he just say “I want to bring up your dead”? Anyways, Vince brings a nice gesture, by wanting to put Stu Hart in the WWE Hall Of Fame. Bret accepts, nice touch.
McMahon now thanks Bret for everything he did during his time in the company. Hart shakes McMahon’s hand, and the two stand, arms raised, in the middle of the ring, and just when it looks like things end on a good note, Vinnie Mac gives Bret the ol’ Low Blow, and leaves the ring. Bret stands annoyed in the ring, and that’s all she wrote.
For those who watched that other wrestling show tonight, you sure as hell missed something tonight. Tonight wasn’t about the action. It was about Bret Hart, Shawn Michaels and Vince McMahon. Hart and Michaels buried the hatchet, and Vince just couldn’t bury it. The Road to WrestleMania begins. Bret Hart vs. Vince McMahon in Phoenix.
That’s it for RAW! This has been the one they call ‘Legend Killer’.
What’s kiddies and non kiddies and welcome to another edition ot the criticially acclaimed and contraversial Abraham Washington Show Random Randomness hosted be none other than well me. Well then without further holdup, lets get this show on the road will ya: (more…)
Triple H kicks off RAW tonight, and gets a huge ovation from the Orlando crowd. He reminds us that Donald Trump bought RAW, and Vince McMahon bought it back for double the price a week later. Meanwhile, something exciting happened – the celebrity guest host. The Game is here to announce tonight’s host. He was in Buffy and Austin Power, he’s also on Family Guy and is a co-creator of Robot Chicken. His name is Seth Green – and his theme song is Welcome To The Jungle. He’s thrilled to be here hosting RAW. he can do whatever he wants, pick the matches and whatnot. So the first thing he’s going to do is make a six diva swimsuit summer spectactular. It’s in the spirit of athletic competition, of course. Triple H sees it his way. It’s the kind of outside the box thinking that makes The Game a fan of Robot Chicken. They put celebrities in the most bizarre situations. The premiere episode has, potentially, the biggest star on the planet (according to Triple H), Triple H.
Clip of Triple H on Robot Chicken, getting his ass kicked by Dakota Fanning, until John Cena turns on her.
Triple H says that didn’t really happen. Triple H has experience fighting whiny little girls since his first match with Randy Orton. Triple H says that may be true, but he never said that. Randy Orton and Dakota Fanning have one thing in common – no male genatalia.
I hear voices in my head…
Orton says he’s got something Triple H don’t – the WWE Championship. He says that if Seth Green wants to take shots at Orton, he should know that Orton has somewhat of an anger management issue. He won’t hesitate to punt somebody in the head or RKO them no matter how big or pathetically small they might be. Triple H suggests himself vs. Orton for the main event. Orton says Green doesn’t wanna do that, since Cena and Triple H are already losing to him at Night of Champions. Triple H says he’ll just drop him right now. Orton has nothing to say to Triple H until Night of Champions, and he’s got nothing to say to Seth Green either. He then asks Green why he’s here. Maybe it’s so somebody might mistake him from being a real man. Green tells Orton he might be interested in tonight’s main event. It’s going to be Randy Orton and Legacy taking on Triple H and John Cena. Oh yeah, and their partner Seth Green.
Kelly Kelly is wasting valuable television time wandering aimlessly in the general direction of the ring in a bikini.
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
The following is a chance for me to go grab some dinner Six Diva Summer Swimsuit Spectacular or something stupid like that. Screw this, I’m going to get some dinner.
Alicia Fox, Rosa Mendez, & Maryse def. Mickie James, Gail Kim, & Kelly Kelly
It’s your weekly multi-diva clusterf*(#, now with bikinis. BORING. I seriously went to get some dinner and came back in time to see Maryse pin Mickie James.
Seth Green runs into Chris Jericho backstage. Chris Jericho says he’s the guy who made a career of mocking Star Wars after claiming to be a big fan, and is now doing the same thing to the WWE. He needs to cater to Chris Jericho. Robot Chicken is apparently going on a roller skating tour with the band Gym Class Heroes for free. Green tells Jericho that if he’s going to bring negativity to the show, he might as well just leave. Jericho says he’s got something to say, and he’s going to say it whether Green likes it or not.
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
WWE Slam of the Week – Carlito beat the crap out of his brother after they failed to beat Jericho and Edge for the Unified Tag Team Championships last week.
Primo is in the ring with a microphone and speaking Spanish. He calls out Carlito. He doesn’t get him though. What he gets is the best part of RAW, The Miz! Miz asks where Carlito is. He’s probably doing something more important, like getting a cup of coffee. So since Maryse is probably watching, The Miz is going to leave Primo laying in the middle of the ring like the rejected brother he is, because he’s The Miz, and he’s… AWESOME!
The Miz vs. Primo
Primo and The Miz put on a pretty good match, until Carlito interrupts and allows The Miz to hit a reverse Russian leg sweep for the victory.
After the match, Carlito spits in the face of his brother, who apparently don’t want to be cool.
Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler talk about Edge’s injury and what could happen with the Unified Tag Team Championships.
Still to come, Legacy take on Triple H, John Cena, and Seth Green.
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
WWE Rewind: Hornswoggle defeated Chavo Guerrero on Superstars last Thursday.
Hornswoggle is hanging out with somebody his own size backstage. Seth Green tells him tonight it’s going to be Chavo vs. Hornswoggle, and Chavo will have one arm tied behind his back. The Big Show shows up, and Green asks him for advice. Show says to watch his match with Evan Bourne and see how guys his size fare in the WWE. He then says he’ll give some advice to Green, but it’ll cost him… One Million Dollars muwahahahahahahaha.
MVP makes his way to the ring for action. His opponent is the guy who just a week ago said he wouldn’t fight him, Jack Swagger.
MVP vs. Jack Swagger
A very entertaining match that sees Swagger drop MVP with the gutwrench powerbomb (or, as our good friend Green Teabagger calls it, The All-American American’s All-American American Americanator!) for the victory. I’d write more about it, but I’m still eating my meal from that stupid Diva thing earlier in the night.
Chris Jericho is carrying a folder and walking toward the ring.
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
We know some of you may be eating, but here, enjoy these graphic pictures of Edge’s surgery on his Achille’s Tendon.
And now, please welcome his tag team partner, Chris Jericho!
Jericho says that for the first time in WWE history, the Unified Tag Team Champions are held by one man, and it’s appropriate that that man is the best in the world today, Chris Jericho. He finds it ironic that both Edge and Achilles were great warriors for their time and were taken down by injuries to their Achilles heel. Jericho lists Edge’s injuries and claims he was taking a chance by taking Edge on as a partner. It’s not fair to Jericho that he should have to suffer for Edge’s faults. He’s not giving up his titles. He’s got a contract with him that says that if Edge is injured, Jericho could chose a new tag team partner and remain tag team champion. Before Night of Champions, he’ll pick a devious, cunning partner who is worthy of being in the ring with Jericho, and he’ll also be a truthful, honest man.
Somebody gonna get they ass kicked…
Mark Henry makes his way to the ring, smiling. He enters, and Jericho smiles back. He says Henry is impressive, and just the type of partner Jericho had in mind. Henry puts his arm around Jericho and tells him that they could do unbelievable things. He asks Orlando if they think they’d be a good team. Henry says that he’s not out here to be his partner. Jericho’s look of confidence turns to a look of fear, and Henry tells him he’s out here to be his opponent.
Mark Henry def. Chris Jericho via count-out
Henry tears the suit off of Chris Jericho and tosses him around like a rag doll. Jericho takes some time outside the ring to regroup – and to take off his tie. He stalls as the fans chant “you suck.” He finally gets in the ring and the match officially starts. Henry tosses Jericho around as the announcers theorize that this is punishment for Jericho’s attitude with guest host Seth Green earlier. Jericho gets knocked down, and hightails it out of there, getting counted out in the process, much like Cody Rhodes last week.
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
Hornswoggle is here and ready for his match with Chavo Guerrero, who will have one hand tied behind his back.
Hornswoggle def. Chavo Guerrero
Ugh. Hornswoggle used a stinkface. Chavo goes for a one armed suplex, but Hornswoggle rolled him up for the pin instead.
Randy Orton is proud of Ted DiBiase for slapping his dad last week. DiBiase says he never wants to be like his old man. He’ll be better. Cody Rhodes says that his father might be the guest host last week, and unlike some people he has a great relationship with is dad. Orton instructs his Legacy mates to not touch Seth Green in this match, because Orton wants him for himself.
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
Kofi Kingston is on his way to the ring to do commentary for the following matchup. Evan Bourne is out first for this matchup, and his opponent is The Big Show.
Evan Bourne vs. The Big Show
Show dominates, with a little of Evan Bourne offense. Show hits a huge spear and locks in the Camel Clutch for the victory.
Show refuses to break the hold, but Kofi Kingston runs into the ring to make the safe. Kofi will face Big Show this Thursday on Superstars.
The Robot Chicken Star Wars Episode II DVD comes out next week. They show a clip, which I seriously wish was a clip from the first Star Wars episode with Hulk Hogan voicing Abe Lincoln against Jedi George Bush.
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
We get a rundown of the Night of Champions card.
Backstage, Santino is playing with action figures, making his own figure knock out the Iron Shiek and kiss Trish Stratus. He asks Seth Green for a job on his show, “Electric Poultry.” Cena and Triple H join them and Santino leaves. Cena tells Green that if he abandons them he’ll beat him up. Triple H tells him it’s not the size of the dog in the fight, yadda yadda yadda. Cena and Triple H argue over who’s going to watch out for Green, and Cena says it doesn’t matter who protects him, he’s gonna get killed anyway. Triple H agrees.
Michael Cole reveals next week’s guest hosts for Monday Night RAW. That’s right, I said hosts, plural. They are…. ZZ TOP!
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
(Thanks to Mr. Random Randomness, JT for covering the rest of the show)
Legacy Comes out first, we get reminded that Orton wants Seth Green to himself (like that’s really gonna happen). Seth Green comes out to “Welcome To The Jungle.” I wonder if Axl knows WWE is using his song. HHH out next. He spits water, it’s supposed to be cool or something. He’s also like a foot taller than Seth. Oh yeah he’s also on the cover of some muscle magazine. Cena out last to mostly cheers, he now has John Deere looking gear. Michael Cole says “this is what it’s all about.” Sorry Cole it really isn’t. We then go to a…
Commercial Break- The Taco Bell Bacon Potato Burrito is pretty good, you should try it. The G.I. Joe movie looks awesome, too bad I’ll be out of town when it comes out. 🙁
Legacy def. John Cena, Triple H, and Seth Green via disqualification
We come back and the match has already started with HHH dominating (shocker).
1st pin attempt- 2 count
Tag to Cena
Continues to dominate
2nd pin attempt- 2 count
Tag to Green- punches Rhodes in the face knocking him down
Outside the ring HHH knocks Rhodes down
Tag to Cena- Back Body drop
Orton takes Cena out while the ref’s back is turned.
Orton now dominating
Orton 1st pin attempt- 2 count
Orton stomps on Cena
Dibiase & Rhodes double team Cena while Ref’s back is turned
Rhodes gets a full nelson on Cena- Cena fights out of it, but is knocked down
Double tag
HHH dominates Orton, then he goes after Rhodes & DiBiase
Match gets out of control
Orton RKO’s HHH
Goes for a pin, Seth Green breaks it up
Orton then attacks Green
Orton goes for The Randy Orton Super Magic Mega Kick of Final Ultimate Death!!! (TM Green Teabagger) but is stopped by Cena
Cena goes after Orton, but is stopped but legacy who attack him until HHH makes the save with a sledgehammer, getting their team DQed
HHH bumps into Cena with the sledgehammer, but it has no effect.
HHH and Cena come face to face but Seth Green comes between them and they raise each others hands.
We fade to black with Legacy at the top of the ramp and Cena and HHH with Seth Green on hos shoulders standing tall in the ring.
My Thoughts: Seth Green should not be wrestling. Guest hosting is one thing, but getting involved in a professional wrestling match is another. The wrestlers are trained professionals, and as Edge’s latest injury has proven, even they get severely hurt doing what they do for a living. Seth Green is not a wrestler. Seth Green is an actor – one who’s work I actually enjoy. He’s got no business getting into the ring in a wrestling capacity. Look, I’m all for this guest host thing. I like it, it gives RAW an air of mainstream acceptance, and sure, Seth Green actually wrestling on Monday Night RAW will probably get some TMZ or Entertainment Tonight coverage, but is it really worth risking the poor guy’s health and career to have him step in and participate in something he’s not extensively trained to do?
Why aren’t Legacy complaining about not knowing who they have to face at Night of Champions? That fits their characters, even if their opponents are also heels. Hell, I don’t think Rhodes and DiBiase were even mentioned in Chris Jericho’s promo about the Unified Tag Team Championship match at Night of Champions, and they’re the challengers.
This show just wasn’t very good. I just hope that ZZ Top don’t jump in and challenge DiBiase and Rhodes to a Night of Champions warm up match next week.
Hey everybody…I’m back this week for another review of WWE Superstars. Special thanks goes out to Joe for filling in for me last week while I was away. My DVR says Vince McMahon forces Chavo Guerrero to wrestle on his knees against Hornswoggle, so lets find out what happens with that.
Match 1: Wassup?! R-Truth be skippin and jumpin against Ricky Ortiz.
Ricky O comes out with a mic and says everybody needs to rally up their personal lives. I wish they would really get deep into the motivational speaker persona with Ortiz…that would be great. R-Truth hits the Lie Detector for the win against Ricky Ortiz, who seemingly dominated the match.
Mr. McMahon is seen in his office and Hornswoggle and Chavo enter. Chavo says the midget bit him and Vince says Chavo will compete on his knees. That should be a normal position for Chavo…I mean how else does he keep his job???
Match 2: Woo Woo Woo…You know it! Zack Ryder vs Tyler Reks
Tyler Reks walks like he has a surfboard up his butt. Matt Stryker and Josh Matthews have some witty banter about Zack Ryder being a tool and that clearly exemplifies how absolutely boring this match is. Tyler Reks is the master of the armbar and Ryder just sucks. I smell two future endeavores coming soon…hopefully. Anyway, Ryder hits the Zack Attack for the win.
Match 3: Chavito against the troll
This match is entertaining because its funny. Horny kicks Chavo’s ass for a little bit at the beginning and Chavo scurries out of the ring. Upon walking up the stairs on his knees and reentering the ring, Chavo dominates the “little person.” Hornswoggle bites Chavo and hits the Tadpole Splash for the win. This is getting rediculous!!!
Alrighty then. Join me again next week for another riveting episode of WWE Superstars. PEACE!!!
