Monday night the WWE announced they were inducting Sunny into the WWE Hall-of-Fame. They showed a video package reviewing who she was and what she did. I realized that I could not explain to my wife what she meant to wrestling and what she meant to me as a fan during the era she reigned supreme. She was Sunny.
Who was the first “Diva?” Sherri Martel wore skimpy outfits and caked on the make-up. Missy Hyatt definitely has her place in the great canon of women in wrestling. Miss Elizabeth was definitely seen as a sex symbol, even though she was always treated with class and elegance. Nancy Benoit was a great female manager, but she was more wicked, and people didn’t tune in to see her. Sable was the first WWE superstar to pose nude for Playboy. But what made Sunny special?
I’m going to be honest. I started watching wrestling in early 1996, before Wrestlemania XII. I was 15. I was at the height of my hormonal teen years. Sunny was every 15-year-old boy’s dream. And in the WWE at that time, Sunny reigned supreme. Todd Pettengill used to host a show called WWF Mania on Saturday mornings. WCW Pro was at 8 am. WWF Mania was at 9am. That’s what I did with my Saturday morning. When I first started watching the show, Sunny was the host. And yes, my little 15-year-old heart pitter-pattered.
I have a lot of great memories watching Sunny. I remember her coming out with the LOD at Wrestlemania XIV and forming LOD 2000. I remember the feud with Dawn Marie (“Tamara Lynn Bytch”) in ECW. I remember her showing off those buns of steel to the live crowd in Dallas at Raw. And of course, who could forget her getting slopped by Phineas I. Godwinn (a then-clothed Naked Mideon)?
Last night they showed a video package that showed Sunny’s greatest moments. Tamara Lynn Sytch was a pretty girl. She was athletic, naturally very pretty and had lots of charisma. She was the girl you wanted but you knew you could never have, but you were going to dream about her anyway. She was one of the first Divas to draw. What makes her the first Diva, you might ask? Here is what I think. I think she was one of the first females in wrestling to do lingerie shoots and bikini shoots and, at some point in her career, served no other purpose than to come out and wave to the crowd. Sherri was a manager. Woman/Nancy Benoit was a manager. Miss Elizabeth was a manager/valet. And while Missy Hyatt did her share of bikini modeling, she pushed the envelope nowhere like Sunny did. Sunny was a pioneer who set the standard for every Diva we watch every week.
That being said, when I watch her footage, while she was the highlight of my mid-adolescent years, her stuff actually was pretty tame, all things considered. Her character was pretty simple. “I’m the drop-dead gorgeous woman you want. You can’t have me because I’m with Chris Candido.” That’s all she needed. Her body also looked like something that would be a foreign concept to Divas nowadays. She was natural. Her breasts didn’t enter the rooms three days before she did. Her lips didn’t look like flotation devices. And her hair didn’t look like Extension City. She was an insanely beautiful woman. And speaking from the fantasies of a 15-year-old boy, she more than got the job done. And I’m not alone. She was the most downloaded celebrity in 1996 on AOL.
The woman has earned her place in the annals of WWE history, and for what little it’s worth, I wish her congratulations for this time.
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We open with the rookies in the ring. Daniel Bryan is growing a beard. Skip Sheffield has added spikes to his jacket. We’re down to two weeks till an elimination.
This weeks challenge is testing likability. Go out to the crowd and try to sell merchandise in 60 seconds. WHoever has the most cash wins and gets a shot at at a WWE superstar of their choosing.
Skip is given a bag of programs and some changes and asked to sell. Suggested retail price 15 bucks. He gets 60 bucks, selling four programs.
The first match is a tag team match. Christian and Heath Slater vs Chris Jericho and Wade Barrett.
Start off with Slater knocking Jericho down and he instantly tags out. Christian gets a forearm and a second rope missle dropkick. He decks Christian, then Barrett gets a boot. Stomps away then Jericho comes in and pummels him. Back suplex. Jericho pounds Christian down in the corner. Christian gets a reverse DDT and tags out.
Slater with a flying forearm, then one in the corner. Eats a kick as he ducks his head but comes back with a neckbreaker. Barrett breaks up a cover. Christian comes off the top, then tosses Barrett. Dive over the top.
Jericho attempts a Walls of Jericho. Rollup gets two, but Jericho gets the Codebreaker for the win.
Some good stuff during the match. Cole refers to the faces as the team of Christian Slater, and Jericho is just nuts. He gets in the ref’s face and tears up the announce table.
Daniel Bryan just tosses the books away for free. Cole calls him a tool, and Matthews says Cole is the definition of a tool.
Replay of the triple threat last week. Carlito is giving some advice, pay attention to the little things. Details matter. He then walks away, telling Tarver to get their stuff. When Tarver asks if Carlito wants him to carry bags Carlito congratulates him for getitng the little things.
Justin Gabriel is up next. He asks the fans for help. He wants to fight a pro and show them that he’s good at WRESTLING. He says all the American money looks the same to him. He sells 22 progams.
Michael Tarver has the next match. We get the pros talking about him. Most see nothing him. Punk says he’s saddled with a poor pro. Regal calls him a sleeper. Truth calls him a character. Miz sees nothing in him.
His opponent is Darren Young, who’s accompanied by Serena and Gallows. Punch to the gut and a hard whip to the corner by Tarver. Powerslam. Stomp to the gut. Punches to the gut. Keylock, of some sort. Young fights out.
Tornado punch. Dropkick. Flying shoulderblock. Runs into a kick, but nails Tarver in the gut. Tarver with a knee on the outside. Shoulder to the gut and pulls his shoulder to the corner. Serena distracts the ref and Gallows nails Tarver, allowing Young to hit his finish. Gallows separates Serena and Young.
Justin Gabriel only got 210. Otunga is up next. he says celebrities don’t do manual labor, so he picks a couple of kis to carry the stuff as he hawks the programs. “Money Otunga” like Money Mayweather.
The pros talk Justin Gabriel. He’s got some moves, but doesn’t really have a lot of personality basically. Replay of Otunga/Gabriel and R-Truth not helping him. Truth is giving his some advise backstage and tells him if he can’t run with the big dogs stay on the porch.
Heath Slater has to get over 315 dollars worth of merchadise. He encourages the fans to buy by saying that he’s beaten two pros so lets make it three. He falls a little short.
Darren Young wants to face CM Punk but he fails to get enough.
Michael Tarver refuses to sell, saying the WWE should sell him. He is thr product.
Wade Barrett says he’s proved he’s the number 1 rookie. He takes the money given to give change and walks out.
Pros on Daniel Bryan. Punk, Jericho, Regal and Christian all praise him. Miz says if he’s listened to him he’d be a winner. Matt Hardys says he needs more personality but if he gets that he says nothing but good things.
Otunga won the challenge. And he wants to face R-Truth. It’s time the student beats the teacher.
The main even is the Miz vs Skip Sheffield. Miz has a big ass bruise on his face.
Regal gets in Miz’s face. He has a mike. It’s very painful to talk. He can’t compete due to the Big Show’s suckerpunch. Taking his place will be Daniel Bryan.
Fireman’s carry but Bryan escapes. Kicks and then a dropkick in the corner. Punches to the gut. Leglock. Skip gets the ropes. Kicks to the chest, But he grabs a kick then knocks him down.
Clothesline. Skip gets his finish, a backpack stunner.
Overall an excellent show, but three out of five people choosing not to compete is a bit much. Breaking it up the way they did actually made it a bit better this week.
Last week: David Otunga and R-Truth had a bit of a falling out.
The theme song plays, the pyro goes off, and the broadcast team of Michael Cole and Josh Matthews welcome us to WWE NXT!
R-Truth and David Otunga make their way to the ring, Truth rapping the whole way. Otunga can care less about Truth’s performance, he walks right past his mentor and into the ring.
Matt Striker is standing by backstage, and he explains the rules of the show once more. The pros will vote on the rookies – but they can’t vote for or against their own rookies.
AWESOME!
The Miz leads his rookie, Daniel Bryan, to the ring. This is a tag team match, which will probably wind up coming down to which team can put aside their differences better. Miz has a pep talk for Bryan. Right now, Bryan is 0-2. He hasn’t proven anything to anybody yet. Last night on RAW, Miz was jumped. This match is very important to him. If Bryan is pinned tonight, Miz will make sure he never achieves his goal of becoming a WWE Superstar. And he’ll have him thrown off of NXT.
R-Truth & David Otunga def. The Miz & Daniel Bryan
Bryan starts off with R-Truth, with Truth having the upper hand early on. Otunga gets the tag in and the team of Truth and Otunga start utilizing classic tag team strategy, keeping Bryan away from The Miz. Things get a bit crazy – Bryan and Miz get dumped to the outside by Truth, who dives on them, sending us to a…
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
When we come back, Michael Cole screws up David Otunga’s name, calling him Daniel Otunga. Miz and Bryan are also in control by this point. Bryan tags in The Miz, who admonishes him for showboating. Miz is nearly pinned by Truth off of a rollup, but manages to take control right back from him. Truth causes some separation, and finally manages to get the tag in to Jennifer Hudson’s fiancee. He gets Miz in a pinning predicament, but Bryan makes the save. Bryan tags himself in and turns the tide back into his team’s favor. He locks a heel hook in on Otunga. Will Otunga snap or tap? Miz tags himself back in, and then the two start battling – meanwhile, Truth sneaks in and nails the Lie Detector on The Miz, allowing Otunga to pin the WWE United States Champion.
After the match, Miz threatens Bryan’s career again, telling him to go away. Bryan feigns punching The Miz, who flinches, before leaving.
Video: Carlito Surprised Heath Slater by spitting in his face. That wasn’t cool to Slater. Slater says if he had an apple and Carlito was standing in front of him, he wouldn’t spit in his face, he’d chuck it like a fastball at Carlito’s head. He’ll have the opportunity, as he takes on Carlito, NEXT!
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
Matt Striker wants to know how Miz feels about the fact that it was he who lost the match for his team, and not Daniel Bryan. Miz reminds Striker of all the gold he has. Bryan comes in, he doesn’t care about Miz’s accolades. He says that everybody he’s ever been partners with have carried him. Miz reminds him he’s the pro. Bryan asks if Miz is so talented, why is he the one who lost tonight?
Video: Justin Gabriel grew up in the wrestling industry and he’s a martial arts expert.
Matt Hardy is giving Gabriel a pep talk backstage, telling him to do exactly what he did last week. Chris Jericho and Wade Barrett come in. Jericho says he did good last week, but not good enough for this week, because Wade Barrett is Jericho’s protege, and look at the size of him. Barrett reminds Gabriel that last week, he destroyed Daniel Bryan in less than 3 minutes. Hardy tells Jericho that his protege will defeat Jericho’s tonight.
Heath Slater makes his way to the ring along with his pro, Christian. Carlito heads to the ring with his rookie, Michael Tarver. Carlito heard what Slater had to say about him, but he should be honored that Carlito spit in his face. You know how many WWE Superstars faces Carlito’s spit into? Slater should be begging to get spit at again. Carlito gets in the ring, takes a bite of his apple, but Slater ducks the spit.
Heath Slater def. Carlito
Slater decked Carlito to start the match and then we went to a…
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
Carlito is in control when we come back, but that doesn’t last very long. Slater holds his own with Carlito, and when Carlito kicks Slater in the face, Tarver cheers from ringside, saying “that boy’s gonna need to go to the dentist!” Carlito takes control for a few minutes, but he takes some time to talk to Tarver on the outside, and Slater takes advantage. Carlito hits a spinebuster on Slater, and he goes to grab his apple, but Christian took it away. Christian tosses it to Tarver, who doesn’t think it’s funny. Carlito tells Christian to watch what he does to Slater – he goes for a Backstabber, but Slater escapes. Carlito tries to roll up Slater, but Slater rolls through and pins Carlito.
Video: Darren Young says this is his destiny. He thinks the WWE Universe will find him entertaining. There’s no better feeling than being in the spotlight, and he looks up to guys like Shawn Michaels and Ricky Steamboat.
CM Punk is discussing Young with the Straight Edge Society. Young comes in and says he respects Punk’s lifestyle, but wants to know why he can’t live his own. Punk says he can lead a horse to water, but he can’t make him drink. Straight Edge can make him a winner, but Young can live his own lifestyle and see where that gets him.
Up next, Justin Gabriel takes on Wade Barrett in our main event.
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
It’s confirmed that “Be Yourself” by Audioslave is an official theme song of WrestleMania.
RAW REBOUND: Mr. McMahon defeated John Cena in the main event. Nevermind the fact that it was a handicap gauntlet match and that the WWE Champion Batista was Mr. McMahon’s last partner, Mr. McMahon pinned John Cena.
We get a rundown of the WrestleMania XXVI card – Batista vs. John Cena, Chris Jericho vs. Edge, Shawn Michaels vs. Undertaker in a no DQ match, Triple H vs. Sheamus, Bret Hart vs. Mr. McMahon, John Morrison & R-Truth vs. ShoMiz – what a hell of a card we’ve got for the show of shows!
Chris Jericho leads Wade Barrett to the ring and we’re informed that for the first time in two years, this Friday on SmackDown it’s the return of Chris Jericho’s Hi-Lite Reel with special guest Edge!
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
Matt Hardy leads Justin Gabriel into battle, and last week, Gabriel became the first rookie to have pinned a WWE pro, that pro being William Regal.
Justin Gabriel def. Wade Barrett
Power vs. speed – that’s what this match is. Barrett is a big guy who can really hurt you, and Gabriel is a smaller guy – well, compared to Barrett anyway – who can use his speed to avoid being hurt by a bigger guy like Barrett and to strike before his opponent can counter. The crowd actually starts chanting USA in this one, despite the fact that the only American in this match is Gabriel’s pro, Matt Hardy. Gabriel manages to squeak out the win, knocking Barrett down and hitting the 450 splash from the top for the victory.
Jericho attacks Hardy after the match, knocking him out of the ring, then hitting a codebreaker on Gabriel before locking him into the old school Lion Tamer style Walls of Jericho. Barrett and Jericho are the ones standing tall as NXT goes off the air.
My Thoughts: WWE did a great job this week and getting me interested in some of the rookies who I didn’t care about at all. Darren Young showed a bit of personality, Heath Slater showed that he could be a great commodity for World Wrestling Entertainment, and Michael Tarver seemed to open up a bit more this week than he had a couple of weeks ago. Still the star of this show is Daniel Bryan, and that’s not by accident. WWE is trying to make that happen, and they’re doing a good job of it – though Justin Gabriel seems to be developing quite a fan base, even if they don’t realize he’s from South Africa and not the United States. Some people I’ve talked to don’t like the show – I, on the other hand, have really enjoyed it the last few weeks and I’m looking forward to seeing what happens next. See you Friday for SmackDown!
RAW kicks off, and it’s host is a World Champion from Pittsburgh – but it’s not Kurt Angle. Ben Roelithsberger comes out to some boos, saying he knows they’ve got Eagles fans in the house, but that they’ve also got Steelers fans, but tonight we’re all WWE fans. He says he’s got a surprise. It’s the Diva Bowl. A team of face Divas show up in Steelers jerseys, followed by a team of heel divas in white shirts, followed by Gail Kim in a referee outfit. Great. The one who can actually wrestle is the referee.
Diva Bowl
What the hell is this crap? At least we’re getting it out of the way early. The faces won when Mickie James pinned Alicia Fox.
The face Divas are still standing in the ring when the NEW WWE Champion, Randy Orton makes his way to the ring.
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
Orton says that last night he defeated John Cena and became a 6 time WWE Champion. The people say he uses shortcuts, needs backup, and flat out cheats. When last night did any of that happen? He and John Cena walked in to Hell in a Cell, and Orton beat him. End of story. He’s willing to bet that Cena will interrupt him and ask for a rematch. Orton tells Cena to do what he thinks he needs to do. Orton says he knows exactly what he’ll say to Cena. The fans chant Cena’s name and…
SHABADOO! Your time is up my time is now…
The former champ is here, and he runs down to the ring. Orton says that Cena looks awful excited, and he thinks he knows why. Orton says he won’t get a rematch tonight. Cena’s look turns to that of disappointment. Cena says Orton just told the WWE Universe that he doesn’t give a damn about them. He’s a WWE Superstar who strives to be the best, so what Cena’s here to do is congratulate Orton on his win last night. Cena says he can tell us how brutal Hell In A Cell was, but the interesting thing is that there was something special. Something Cena noticed before, during, and after the match. He noticed over 16,000 members of the WWE Universe standing the whole time. There were people cheering for Cena. There were people cheering for Orton. John Cena and Randy Orton has become the rivalry. Whether a singles match, triple threat, I quit, or Hell In A Cell, it’s simply amazing. Cena would like to do it one more time, and the people seem to agree. He cares about the WWE Universe and wants to give them a match. Not just any match, the match. The match of matches – an Iron Man match. Right, like Cena can go for 60 minutes and keep a crowd into it. Anyways, Cena says that after the iron man match, there will be no more rematches. Orton says he sees what Cena’s doing. If Cena wins, he don’t get a rematch. He says he agrees that we need to end this, but we’ll do it Orton’s way. If Cena wins he gets the title, if Orton wins, Cena is gone from RAW. He can go to SmackDown, he can go to ECW, Orton doesn’t care. He just wants him off of RAW. Cena confirms that’s what Orton wants and says he’ll do it. Orton says that’s not all he wants. No DQ, no count out, and on his terms. Cena asks that if that means they can use whatever they want and turn this into the biggest brawl of all time. Orton says that’s exactly what he’s saying. Take it or leave it. Cena says 60 minutes, anything goes, and if he loses he leaves RAW. Cena says he’s on. The two shake hands, and we’re set to finally end this rivalry.
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
Somebody has a sign in the crowd with a picture of a slobbering Daffy Duck that says “JACK THWAGGER” on it. Somebody’s been reading Bored Wrestling Fan. Anyways, Swagger’s here. He says he looks and smells like a winner, because he is a winner. FYI, he didn’t get pinned last night, and going forth, he will not lose. For the rest of the year, he promises that he will go undefeated. He’s the All American American, Jack Swagger, and he approves this message. Primo’s shitty music starts, and so does the Aldo Montoya pyro, and we confirm that the Cena/Orton match won’t be tonight, it will be at the Bragging Rights PPV. Please, for the love of insert supreme being here, let Cena lose so I don’t have to see him the next night in Buffalo.
Jack Swagger vs. Primo
Swagger’s prophecy starts off on the right foot as he easily defeats Primo following a gutwrench powerbomb.
Chris Jericho and The Big Show are here. We’ll hear from the Tag Team Champions later on tonight.
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
Backstage, the Divas are arguing when referee Santino blows the whistle. He calls encroachment on #23 on the defense. Mickie asks what the hell he’s talking about. He says he’s trying to get into the football spirit, and asks Mickie and Alicia to kiss and make up. Alicia slaps Santino and the Divas start brawling again.
The Miz interrupts Ben Roethlisberger and complains about Swagger insinuating that The Miz lost last night. Big Ben asks what happened. Miz admits to getting pin. The Miz says that being awesome isn’t a catch phrase. He asks for a shot at Kofi Kingston tonight. After all, it’s his birthday week. Ben says he can do this. He makes the match, but says there’s a stipulation. If Miz loses, he gets in the middle of the ring, takes the microphone, and tells everybody that “I’m The Miz, and I’m Awful.”
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
Last week, Chavo punched Chris Masters in the face for hurting Hornswoggle for some reason. Chavito is here, teaming with The Masterpiece again. Their opponents are the team of MVP and Mark Henry. Shouldn’t MVP be WWE Champion by now?
MVP & Mark Henry vs. Chavo Guerrero & Chris Masters
Henry and MVP pick up the win, but Henry appears to have injured his leg.
After the match, Masters asks Chavo what happened. He gets in Guerrero’s face, and Guerrero shoves him. Masters gets Guerrero in the Master Lock, but Hornswoggle comes to Chavo’s rescue. Chavo drops Masters with a DDT, and then Hornswoggle gives Chavo a DX style crotch chop.
Ben Roethlisberger is on his way to the ring.
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
Roethlisberger makes his way out to the ring – and he barely gets a sentence out when…
WELL… WELL IT’S THE BIG SHOW – BREAK THE WALLS DOWN!
Show wants to know whey they call him Big Ben. How big can his big offensive line be compared to The Big Show. Jericho says they’re probably not as big as he is. Roethlisberger invites them out. The Steelers O-line make their way to the ring. Jericho asks if they’re supposed to be intimidated. He says this isn’t a football field, it’s the WWE ring. JeriShow don’t wear helmets or pads, or take time off for turf toe. He suggests the Steelers get a huddle going and figure out a strategy, because Jericho and The Big Show are the best team in sports. The Steelers huddle and line up at the line of scrimmage. The Big Show prepares to go at them, but thinks better of it…
BREAK IT DOWN!
DX are here for some reason. Jericho says he should’ve expected a potential Sportscenter moment ruined by two miscreants who hare just here to shill their merchandise (which Jericho shills in the meantime). Triple H says he just wanted to tell Jericho how nice his hair looks. Jericho says “really?” Triple H says hell no, his hair looks ridiculous. HBK says he’s tired of Jericho running his mouth about how many great tag teams they’ve faced. There’s one they haven’t faced. Show asks if that’s some kind of challenge. HBK says he’s in pain, but yeah, it’s a challenge. Show suggests he goes home and nurses his wounds, because DX doesn’t want a part of JeriShow. Jericho says HBK isn’t worthy. DX don’t deserve to face The Big Show and Chris Jericho. Roethlisberger says that tonight, JeriShow will face DX. He says if they’re not down with that, we’ve got two words for you… The Steelers and DX do the crotch chops and set off the pyro.
Up next, it’s The Miz vs. Kofi Kingston for the WWE United States Championship
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
Kofi Kingston is here, and he’s got his United States Championship with him. His opponent is from Cleveland Ohio, and if he loses, he has to announce that he’s The Miz, and He’s Awful.
The Miz def. Kofi Kingston to become the new United States Champion
After a hell of a match, The Miz finally hits the Skull Crushing Finale and becomes the NEW United States Heavyweight Champion!
After the match, he takes the microphone and he says that we’re looking at the NEW United States Champion, because he’s The Miz, and he’s AWESOME!
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
Earlier Tonight: John Cena and Randy Orton set the stipulations for their No Disqualification Iron Man Match at Bragging Rights.
Backstage, Hornswoggle is talking to Ben Roethlisberger when Santino comes in and complains about being slapped and mauled by the Divas. He calls him Ben Surfandturfer. Santino tries to pronounce Roethlisberger’s name, even calling him “Ben Bralesswonder.” Hornswoggle slaps Santino, who then manages to say Roethlisberger.
The Big Show and Chris Jericho are walking backstage. That means, they’re next!
You can help out the Ben Roethlisberger Foundation by going to bigben7.com/foundation.aspx
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
Nancy O’Dell and Maria Menounos from Access Hollywood are the guest hostesses next week. One of them is featured in WWE Magazine this month (the one with DX on the cover) as the Sexy Celebrity Super Fan of the month, and the article asks her about her experience guest hosting RAW.
The Unified Tag Team Champions make their way out, and then…
Are You Ready?
DX head to the ring. They don’t bother to do their little spiel, it’s all business for the HeartBreak Kid and The Game tonight.
DX def. JeriShow
NOTE:As you guys know by now, I leave for work before the end of RAW. This week we had some technical difficulties with the site, so I didn’t bother to get somebody to finish the review for me. I have not seen this match, so the following is my knowledge of the main event based on other reviews I’ve read. This won’t be a weekly thing, just this week due to the technical problems.
JeriShow focused on DX’s injuries from last night’s Hell In A Cell match, but DX held their own. Jericho attempted to leave, but was stopped at the top of the ramp by the Pittsburgh Steelers offensive line. Jericho was forced back into the ring and ate Sweet Chin Music, leading to the DX victory.
My Thoughts: “Please let Orton win, please let Orton win, please let Orton win.” Those are my thoughts. Bragging Rights is Sunday, October 25th. On October 26th, I’ll be in attendance at RAW. If Orton wins, Cena’s gone from RAW. I don’t know why I’m so hell bent on not seeing John Cena at RAW. I think I’m just frustrated with the direction of his character from the time he won the WWE Championship at WrestleMania 21. I was a huge Cena mark when I saw him at WrestleMania XIX in Seattle and the night he turned face on SmackDown in Buffalo. I’m just bored with him now. WWE pushes him like crazy despite the fact that it’s obvious a lot of fans hate him. I understand why though – he sells a lot of merchandise and is probably the closest thing they have to a mainstream star right now, the Hulk Hogan of this generation. For what it’s worth, the dark main event that has been advertised for RAW the day after Bragging Rights is DX and Cena against Orton and Legacy.
Now, the future. The Miz and John Morrison called themselves the greatest tag team of the 21st Century (that’s a hint for those of you doing the “guess the match” thing in the back of this month’s WWE Magazine, BTW), and both hold the secondary titles on their respective brands now, with JoMo the Intercontinental Champion and The Miz as the United States Champion. These two guys are going to be HUGE in the future. Of course, I probably would’ve said that two years ago about MVP, but we see where he is. Teaming with Mark Henry to face Chavo Guerrero and Chris Masters.
DX has been the focal point of RAW and the last three PPVs. Nevermind that Randy Orton and John Cena have traded the WWE Championship back and forth in what could be considered epic battles through those last three events. For these guys to get top billing over the guys wrestling for the championship leads me to believe that one of them maybe knows somebody in power in the WWE. Oh look, I can make subtle jokes about who Triple H is married to too!
That’s it for RAW this week, folks. I just want to let you guys know of a couple of things we’ve got going on around here in the near future. First, I’m working on a new BWF Skin that should be available sometime in the next couple of days. I’m also planning on dropping the “Grungy” and “BlueMania 25” themes. I’m not happy with them, and in the case of “Grungy,” it’s hard to expand upon when we add new things. I’m also planning on doing an Eddie Guerrero tribute column next month on the four year anniversary of his death. I’d like to include the thoughts of our readers, so get those to us in one of three ways – send them in a PM to ThinkSoJoE on the BWF Network Forums, tweet them to @BrdWrstlngFn, or e-mail them to GuerreroTribute@boredwrestlingfan.com.
Happy 4th of July to my fellow Americans, and happy belated Canada Day to my friends to the north. It’s time to look back at the week that was in this wacky world of professional wrestling.
The Bash was last Sunday, and the WWE managed to surprise us again – not in a main event (both of which had terrible endings, btw), but in a tag team match of all things. Yes, “Team Ego” captured the Unified Tag Team Championships in a match they weren’t originally scheduled to participate in. And the internet dubbed them, “Rated Y2J.”
Also on Sunday, it was reported that RAW ring announcer Lillian Garcia has handed in her notice to WWE and will be leaving. Lillian was very capable as an announcer, and always pumped the crowd up with her pre-show singing of “America The Beautiful.” WWE is looking for a female announcer who can sing to replace Garcia, but here’s hoping for a promotion for Justin Roberts to what WWE considers the A show.
Former WWE Superstar Brian Christopher Lawler, also known as Grand Master Sexay, was in court on Monday on charges of public intoxication. He allegedly threatened the police officer who arrested him as well, saying he’d rip the officer’s head off. Surprisingly, he was only sentenced to rehab.
On RAW it was randomly announced that 15 Superstars were involved in a trade between the three brands. For what it’s worth, the draft was just over 2 months ago. If we’re randomly going to move guys around, can we just get rid of the whole draft thing?
In the very definition of “slow news week,” it was reported that The Miz posted on his official Twitter page (http://twitter.com/mikethemiz) that he stayed up until 5:30AM watching YouTube.
Would it surprise anybody if I said that Matt Hardy complained on MySpace about something somebody said about him on the internet? I didn’t think so. Apparently some reporter on a wrestling news site complained that Matt spilled the beans on the trade (Matt went to SmackDown), when in fact Matt posted it after it hit WWE.com.
In proof that nobody watches TNA except for Drowgoddess, the IWC is speculating that Taz will debut for TNA at Victory Road. Nevermind the fact that Joe has been acting like Taz and using some of his moves while taking advice from a mysterious “advisor.” Oh, and the fact that he told AJ Styles he can ask the “advisor” who he is at Victory Road.
Word going around is that some wrestlers were upset that WWE was allegedly only paying Vickie Guerrero $500 per appearance. Those wrestlers need to shut their damned mouths. I’d kill for $500 per appearance with WWE, especially since my take home pay right now is slightly over $200 a week.
The rumor mill is buzzing with reports that Candice Michelle was released from her WWE contract because of her weight. Look, Candice may not have been as thin as the majority of the other WWE Divas, but to be fair, I’ve seen Ethiopians who weren’t as skinny as some of the WWE Divas (coughKELLYKELLYcough).
Further proving he’s a black Brock Lesnar, Bobby Lashley says he’s patiently waiting for a call from UFC, where he wants to fight against the top fighters.
Everybody’s favorite right wing nutjob, Warrior W. Warrior posted a blog on his official website blasting Michael Jackson. CZW (there’s those initials again) wrestler “Halfbreed” Billy Gram attempted a rebuttal to Warrior’s post via the comments, but apparently Warrior’s web team deleted them.
ROH (hey, more guys we don’t get to talk about much around here) is on shaky ground right now, with all of their TV tapings being canceled due to HDNet having enough footage to last them the summer, and only a couple of shows booked this month. We like ROH, and we truly hope they survive this unfortunate setback.
I was going to ask if anybody had $5,000 I could borrow to bail Roddy Piper out of jail, but apparently somebody beat me to it. Hot Rod was arrested under suspicion of driving drunk.
Torrie Wilson’s feelings are hurt, because WWE barely mentioned her when she participated in the 25 Diva Battle Royal at WrestleMania. I’d be upset too if my ring announcement was replaced by a medley of Kid Rock songs.
Finally, some sad news coming out of Mexico, as mini Luchadors La Parkita and Espectrito II (the latter you’ll remember as Mini Mankind in the WWE) were found drugged to death in Mexico City. (The rest of this paragraph is from an article written by Ryan Clark) The police have released that Parkita & Espectriro checked into their hotels after a show on Sunday night and were approached by two prostitutes. The two women spiked the lucha stars drinks and after they passed out stole all of their possessions. The two overdosed on the drugs the prostitutes spiked their drinks with. Police say that this M.O. matches that of a prostitute ring called “The Filtracion” (The Leak) who proposition men and then spike their drinks and then rob the men, but the spiked drinks usually don’t kill (probably because of their size, it killed them). The police have retrieved finger prints from the scene and are confident they will find the two responsible.
That’s it for me tonight, guys. Enjoy your holiday, and join us tomorrow as JT brings you another edition of Random Randomness!
* NOTE: Due to the f*(#ing Pittsburgh Penguins, I’m watching Game 7 of the Stanley Cup Finals tonight, and as such, I’m watching SmackDown early (like, 1PM early) via YouTube and therefore may miss some non-essential stuff. *
CM Punk is the NEW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION and he makes his way out to the ring as JR tells the tale of Punk cashing in Money In The Bank after Jeff Hardy defeated Edge in a hellacious ladder match this past Sunday at Extreme Rules. The new Champion takes the microphone and says that he’s going to cut to the chase. He wanted to clear up a few things. Ever since he cashed in, there have been grumblings that say Punk stole the World Heavyweight Championship from Jeff Hardy. Punk doesn’t see it that way. Last year, when he cashed in on Edge, nobody saw it that way. Punk can’t take back what he did, nor does he want to. He’s proud to stand in the ring as the new World Heavyweight Champion. He earned the right to cash in that briefcase when he put his body on the line at WrestleMania. There was an opportunity to become champion staring him in the face, and he capitalized on it. It doesn’t make him a bad guy, that’s the whole point of the Money In The Bank briefcase. It wasn’t the most popular decision in the world, but Punk’s never done anything just to be popular, he’s always done what’s best for himself. The World Championship is something he’s worked very hard to attain. It’s the entire reason he’s a WWE Superstar to begin with. The title means the world to him, and he stands here and promises to bring respect, honor, and integrity back to the World Heavyweight Championship. He’ll represent the WWE as Champion to the best of his ability.
Jeff Hardy comes limping out to the ring, showing the effects of the ladder match from this past Sunday. The fans chant Hardy’s name, and he says that he didn’t come out to complain about what Punk did. That’s not his style. Punk thinks he earned it, Hardy doesn’t agree. Neither do the fans. Punk won Money in the Bank and could cash it in whenever he wanted to, but Punk cashed in on the wrong guy. Punk understands that Hardy is angry, but he wants Jeff to understand where he’s coming from. The fans chant “Hardy” again, and Punk says he didn’t put him in a ladder match at Extreme rules, Jeff put himself in one. The night he picked a ladder match, a lightbulb went off that said “that’s my night.” It didn’t matter who won, that was when Punk was going to cash in, and, well, Jeff won. Hardy doesn’t care about Punk’s reasons, Hardy Senses “shelfishness.” Does Punk care about his fans? The fans chant “Hardy” again. Hardy doesn’t walk the same path as Punk, and never will, but he wants his title back. He wants his rematch TONIGHT!
You think you know me…
Edge comes out to the stage, and says no. Jeff wants his World Title back? He wants his rematch? No, if anybody is getting their rematch, it’s Edge. Hardy wants to know if Edge lost it, Jeff beat Edge. Why is he out here anyway, this is about Hardy and Punk. Punk agrees, he didn’t beat Edge, he beat Jeff Hardy. Edge says Hardy got lucky at Extreme Rules, and both of them combined have not held the title as much as Edge. Hardy had the shortest World Heavyweight Championship reign in the history of the WWE, but at least he has some originality. Edge has been trying to figure out what makes Punk tick ever since he got here. Edge has been watching him and trying to figure out who he looks up to. He wants to be Edge. Punk laughs, and Edge explains that Punk calls his unique lifestlye Straight Edge – hello! Punk named it after him. He cashed in MITB twice, just like Edge. Newsflash. Punk never has been, and never will be Edge. Another newsflash – if Jeff Hardy wants another shot, he needs to get behind Edge. Edge is the only person getting a rematch tonight. Get it? Hardy says that’s not going to happen because Punk and Edge are both full of – and with that he pops Edge in the head with the microphone. He drops Punk with a Twist of Fate and nails the Swanton on the World Heavyweight Champion.
You know it’s the Mack Militant!
Teddy Long wants to sort it out. Punk is the Champion, and his first title defense will be at the Three-For-All this Monday. He’ll face the winner of tonight’s number one contenders match between Edge and Jeff Hardy. Holla holla holla!
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
T-Lo is greeted in his office by the new Intercontinental Champion Chris Jericho, who wants to know why he’s not getting a chance at the World Heavyweight Championship. He sees it as a sign of disrespect. He’s a 5 time World Champion, he unmasked Rey Mysterio at Extreme Rules, and he’s a record 9 time Intercontinental Champion. T-Lo needs to make things right, Jericho’s dressed and ready to compete. What’s Long going to do? Long can’t seem to come up with a good argument against Jericho, but he’s already made the number one contenders match for tonight. He’d like to see if Jericho is worthy of contention, and tonight, he’s going to go one on one with CM Punk. Jericho tells him “nice job.”
Dolph Ziggler makes his way out to the ring for our opening contest on Friday Night SmackDown. His opponent is, for the second straight week, the Punjabi Playboy, The Great Khali!
Dolph Ziggler def. The Great Khali
Ziggler starts the match by – well, as Todd Grisham put it “wasting no time in wasting time.” He slides out of the ring, but when he gets back in, he gets clotheslined down to the mat. He slides out again, then tells the referee that Khali pulled his hair. Khali brings Ziggler back in the hard way, and takes him down with hard strikes. Ziggler starts to get some offense in, going after the leg of Khali, then locking in a front face lock. Khali easily battles out of it, picking Ziggler up and tossing him straight back down 7 feet to the canvas. Ziggler exits the ring before any more damage could be done. Ziggler uses Ranjin Singh as a shield on the outside, shoving him into Khali at 8, sliding back in at 9, and Khali gets himself counted out at 10. Ziggler outsmarted Khali for the count out victory!
Still to come, Jeff Hardy takes on Edge in a #1 Contenders match!
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
World Heavyweight Champion CM Punk takes on Intercontinental Champion Chris Jericho later on tonight – interestingly enough, last week’s SmackDown had the World Heavyweight Champion against the Intercontinental Champion for the very first time – but it was Edge vs. Rey Mysterio. Guess that goes to show that a lot can happen in a week.
Michelle McCool and Layla are accompanied to the ring by Alicia Fox. At least, that’s what Justin Roberts said. Todd Grisham says it’s a six Diva match coming up. There was one of those last week, where Layla scored an upset pinfall on Women’s Champion Melina. Melina and Eve make their way out, and we know for sure that this is a tag team match, not a six Diva match. So instead of a six Diva clusterf*(#, it’s a four Diva clusterf^*(#.
Michelle McCool & Layla def. Melina & Eve
I know I say this every week, but I just don’t care about the WWE Divas. It’s not that they’re not as talented as the male Superstars, I think it’s more because they’re always stuck in multi-participant matches. Anyways, Alicia Fox distracts Melina, allowing Michelle to catch her with the Styles Clash Faith Breaker for the victory.
Up next, John Morrison teams with R-Truth to take on the World’s Greatest Tag Team of Shelton Benjamin and Charlie Haas.
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
Apparently more women watched SmackDown last Friday than any show on Oxygen, CW, or Lifetime Network. Take THAT Oprah Winfrey! (Here’s hoping that last line gets us in the search results for Oprah Winfrey!)
AIN’T NO STOPPIN’ ME NOW!
Charlie Haas and Shelton Benjamin make their way out to Shelton’s music. Which is weird, because they have music as a team – it’s Charlie Haas’s music. John Morrison, fresh off an impressive match with Intercontinental Champion Chris Jericho last night on WWE Superstars, is out first for this match, and you can hear the women scream for him as he poses on the ropes. R-Truth must’ve finally got his employee ID badge, because he’s coming out from the back instead of the crowd for the second week straight. Truth says that The World’s Greatest Tag Team being back together is like Vanilla Ice and MC Hammer teaming up to do a rap song. Nobody wants to hear them, and nobody wants to see the WGTT. That’s the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. What a stupid catch phrase.
R-Truth & John Morrison def. Charlie Haas & Shelton Benjamin
Charlie Haas attacks Morrison from behind to start the match, allowing Benjamin to take advantage for the team. It doesn’t take long for Morrison to battle back, and just like last week, when it’s JoMo and The Gold Standard Shelton Benjamin in the ring, it’s time to kick back and watch. Morrison tags in R-Truth, who is a talented performer in his own right, but he allows himself to be distracted by Charlie Haas and taken down by Shelton Benjamin.
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
Benjamin is in control when we come back, and it doesn’t slow down when we come back. Haas gets the tag and the WGTT does one of the tandem maneuvers that earned them the name. Haas is another talented worker, and he shows it off here as he manages to keep R-Truth away from his corner for a while. Truth finally turns the tide and tags in John Morrison, who takes down both members of the World’s Greatest Tag Team. He hits a springboard kick on Haas, but Benjamin breaks up the pin. Charlie Haas takes out R-Truth, and Morrison hits a unique kick on Haas before hitting the Moonlight Drive and the Starship Pain for the victory!
Still to come, Jeff Hardy vs. Edge, but up next, it’s CM Punk vs. Chris Jericho.
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
The WWE would like to thank everybody who watched Extreme Rules on Pay Per View or on WWE.com. What, no love for those of us who managed to find one of the few streams WWE didn’t kill off?
Chris Jericho heads to the ring, Intercontinental Championship around his waist, and Rey Mysterio’s mask in his hand. He got that mask by ripping it off of Mysterio’s face this past Sunday at Extreme Rules. Come to think of it, that’s how he got the belt too. Jericho says he stands up for what he believes in, and he’s an honest man while 99% of us are liars and cheaters. He’s a success while 99% of us fail at everything. He believes that by unmasking Rey Mysterio he did him a favor. Now Mysterio doesn’t have to live his life in the shadows. He can live life without worrying if anybody recognizes him and knows who he truly is. Instead of thanking Jericho, he’s disappeared like a coward. In time he’ll realize that he’s been redeemed, led to his salvation by his savior, Chris Jericho. He’s exposed Myserio as a fraud, and he’ll let everybody know the same thing about CM Punk tonight. Jericho is better than CM Punk, because he’s the best at what he does. He guarantees a victory tonight, and there’s nothing that any of us can do about it. CM Punk’s music hits and the World Heavyweight Champion makes his way out to the ring.
CM Punk def. Chris Jericho
These guys have had great matches in the past and I don’t have any doubt that this will be another one. Both guys go for – and escape from – one another’s signature moves early in the match, just before the…
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
It’s still a very entertaining match when we come back with Punk in control. It doesn’t take too long for Jericho to turn it around in this back and forth contest. Interesting side note. Punk won the World Heavyweight Championship last year after winning Money In The Bank at a WrestleMania yours truly attended. He did the same this year after winning Money In The Bank at this year’s WrestleMania, which was attended by Drowgoddess. BoredWrestlingFan.com has been a good luck charm for Punk, apparently. Anyways, I digress. Jericho tries to keep a slow an methodical pace, and Punk picks up the pace when he goes on offense. Like Morrison and Benjamin, Punk vs. Jericho is really one of those “kick back and watch” matches. Punk goes for a GTS, but Jericho blocks it, grabbing Punk’s leg and locking in the Walls of Jericho. Punk pulls himself to the ropes, breaking the hold. Jericho stalks Punk, trying to clothesline him out of the ring, but Punk ducks. Jericho goes to climb the ropes, but Punk kicks him down, then hits a superplex. Both men exchange blows, but Jericho ducks a Punk punch and hits the Codebreaker out of nowhere – but Punk got his foot on the ropes at two. Jericho starts to kick Punk, but Punk shows him how it’s done, kicking Jericho in the head and dropping him with the Go 2 Sleep for the victory! Another great match!
Who will Punk defend his title against at the Three For All on RAW? We’ll find out, tonight.
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
Jeff Hardy makes his way out to the ring, still putting on his armbands. Edge is out next, and much like Jeff Hardy, he looks sore on his way to the ring. CM Punk comes to ringside and joins Todd Grisham and Good Ol’ JR on commentary.
Edge def. Jeff Hardy via disqualification
It’s a slow and deliberate pace to start off this match, which shows the effects of the ladder match from Extreme Rules. Punk once again explains why he chose Extreme Rules to cash in, and JR agrees that it was a good idea. Edge goes for a spear early but crashes into the ringpost, straight into our living rooms to enjoy a…
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
Hardy is still in control, and was dominating through the break as he works on Edge’s arm that hit the ringpost earlier. Todd Grisham asks Punk who he’d rather face this Monday. He says he can’t pick one or the other because Hardy takes a lot of chances, but he’s beaten Edge before. Meanwhile, Edge takes control of the match. Hardy tries to mount a comeback, but Edge chop-blocks him and goes to work on the leg. Punk says that if you asked him now, he’d face Hardy because he could take out his knee. Hardy winds up in the Tree of Woe but gets himself down before Edge can take advantage, and we go to a…
<COMMERCIAL BREAK>
Edge is still working over Hardy’s leg when we get back. Hardy causes some separation, then catches an incoming Edge from the top rope with a kick and a DDT for a two count. The two take each other down with a double clothesline. Hardy starts to take control when the men get back up, getting a high pitched cheer when he takes his shirt off. Jeff goes to the second rope and drops the leg on Edge for a two count. Edge blocks a sitout leg drop by Hardy and locks in a variation on the Sharpshooter. Hardy gets the ropes to break the hold. Edge pushes his way out of a Twist of Fate attempt, but Hardy moves out of the way of Edge’s spear, sending Edge into the post again. Hardy drops Edge with a Twist of Fate, climbing the ropes, but Edge moves out of the way of a Swanton, but catches a flying clothesline on the outside instead. Edge tosses Hardy over the announce table into CM Punk, who dives in the ring and attacks Edge. The referee rings the bell, and Jeff Hardy realizes what just happened – Edge has won by disqualification.
Hardy dives back into the ring and attacks Edge. Edge goes for an Edgecution on Hardy, who reverses it into a Twist of Fate. CM Punk drops Hardy with a Go To Sleep and stands tall over both Edge and Jeff Hardy.
Backstage, Tiffany is sitting around with Teddy Long, who announces that this Monday on RAW, instead of a one on one match, it’s going to be CM Punk defending his World Heavyweight Championship in a triple threat match against Edge and Jeff Hardy.
My Thoughts: I would love to see a match between John Morrison and Rob Van Dam. Hell, make it a triple threat with Evan Bourne as well, and we’re looking at a match of the eternity candidate if you like the high fliers. Hey, speaking of high flying Triple Threat action, that’s what we’ve got coming up this Monday when CM Punk defends against Edge and Jeff Hardy on the Three For All. We’ll also see Christian challenge Tommy Dreamer for the ECW Championship, and a fatal four way between John Cena, Triple H, Randy Orton, and The Big Show for the vacant WWE Championship.
Anyways, tonight’s SmackDown continued the streak of awesomeness for the blue brand. These shows are exactly what wrestling shows should be all about. Sure, there’s talking, but it’s kept short and to the point. For the majority of two hours, you’re enjoying the finest professional wrestling on the planet, and that’s where RAW and iMPACT! get it wrong. SmackDown is the best wrestling television show there is – and it’s on free TV! You don’t even have to have cable to watch it. After today, though, you’ll need to be able to get digital channels to watch it in the United States. Hope you guys are prepared! See you tomorrow with another edition of ThinkSoJoE’s Thoughts!
Twenty-seven is an ominous number for rock stars. Kurt Cobain, Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin and several others have died at that age. It’s also a number associated with “Weird Al” Yankovic for some reason. It’s also the number of championships the man we’re here to talk about today has won during his WWE career as of press time. He’s the only person to have held all six major championships across RAW and SmackDown. He’s also the only person that Hulk Hogan has ever held a tag team championship with. I’m referring, of course, to SmackDown’s current World Heavyweight Champion, Edge.
